


Maybe Someday

by TomasNostradamus



Series: You're My Best Friend, And I Love You [2]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 200,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomasNostradamus/pseuds/TomasNostradamus
Summary: This is a story reminiscing back on Anne and Gilbert's relationship we saw come to fruition in 'Something Just Like This' and all the times they should've realized there was something more there, or they did realize and completely ignored it because they are stubborn like that.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: You're My Best Friend, And I Love You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993510
Comments: 513
Kudos: 207





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> An idea landed in my head a while back and I thought to myself, why not continue my least popular story? So here it is, and I hope you like it. This takes place in a COVID free world because it can, and it's wonderful and I'm jealous. It's going to be fun and humorous, or at least that's my intention. This is just a prologue to get you started, the first real chapter will be posted after I read through it one more time. As always, let me know what you think!

Anne, Gilbert and Diana were deep in conversation, seemingly discussing a secret, though with how close they are that’s often how it looked. Jerry, Charlie and Moody were marveling at the fact that not only were they all in relationships at the same time, but none of them ever wanted to be single again, not because being single is bad, but they were all convinced they had found the best woman alive and weren’t going to give her up for the world. This was especially good to hear from Jerry, since he had just celebrated his first wedding anniversary with Diana. Cole, Josie and Jane were likely up to no good and were laughing like maniacs while Tillie and Ruby were looking at pictures on Ruby’s phone from the trip she just went on with Moody’s family. They had all been there for a while when Muriel and Sebastian walked out to the group and Sebastian cleared his throat dramatically to draw their attention.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today,” he began formally before turning back to his mischievous self, “to roast the crap out of these two idiots!” He pointed at Gilbert and Anne and made a show of laughing.

Cheers erupted from most the young adults sitting on log benches around the blazing campfire. The sun was just beginning its descent, the company was fantastic and the drinks were already flowing. They were gathered on the cliff at the northern most bit of land owned by Gilbert and Bash, overlooking the ocean. It actually wasn’t too far from the house, but the wide-open space seemed worlds away from the rows of apple trees that dominated the majority of their property.

“ **That’s** what this is about?” Gilbert asked, slightly miffed at the surprise. “I thought this was just supposed to be a low-key engagement party!”

“It is! Booze, a bonfire, your best friends and many, many stories to help us all recover from the hell you put us through.”

Anne rubbed his back and said, “Relax Gil. We probably deserve it. We did make this much more complicated than it needed it be.”

“Exactly,” Sebastian continued. “Gilbert, when did you meet Anne?”

“August 25, 2016.”

“When did you first develop feelings for her?”

“August 25, 2016.”

“And when did you know you wanted to marry her?

“August 25, 2016.”

“Anne, dear, when did you start having feelings for Gilbert?”

“Well that’s tricky,” she began, “What kind of feelings exactly? I had real strong feelings for him right away, but they weren’t exactly amorous.”

The group laughed and Gilbert playfully nudged her and stole a kiss. Ruby and Tillie audibly fawned in response and Anne laughed at his playfulness.

“Amorous feelings then.”

“Um, probably the 26th? By September I was fully aware yet refusing to admit that I was in love with him. I finally admitted it on Valentine’s day that year. Diana was there. It was terrible.”

“Thanks,” Gilbert said sarcastically.

“No, it was terrible because that’s when I realized-”

“Shh shh shh,” Sebastian hushed. “We’ll get to all that, I’m sure, just wait.”

“Did you just hush me at my own party?” Anne asked in mock offense.

“Yes. Zip it.”

Anne growled at Sebastian and Gilbert laughed as he pulled her into his side.

Sebastian continued, “Really though, I want to thank you all, so much, for coming all the way out to Avonlea for the weekend. For those of you keeping track, as of tomorrow, August 25th, Gilbert and Anne have known each other for four years and now we all know that they have been gone for each other that whole time. Unfortunately for all of us, they took three and a half years to figure it out while we all watched them be absolute fools. So we, we being me and Diana mostly, thought it would be fun to gather together before the wedding and share some stories about the couple- particularly the stories that prove once and for all that although they are crazy smart, they are so, so, so, **so** stupid.”

“Come on!” Gilbert said in exasperation, “It couldn’t have been that bad!”

“You’re right, Gilbert,” Diana said and then took a drink, “it was **so** much worse.”


	2. Girl Meets Boy; Girl Gives Boy a Concussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana tells the story of when Anne met Gilbert and makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, sorry. I forgot how long this chapter was and that I didn’t have the end done yet. But technically, in my time zone it IS the same day, so I’m not a complete liar. Enjoy!
> 
> *Just a note: Billy is not Jane's brother here. Maybe distant cousins? Doesn't really matter.

Diana set down her cup and stood to address the group. “Hello everyone, my name is Diana Baynard.”

“Hi Diana,” the group answered as they would if they were in group therapy, because there was no denying it; this was going to be incredibly therapeutic.

“Everyone knows you here Di, why are you introducing yourself?” Gilbert asked.

“For dramatic effect, buzzkill.” She laughed and continued, “I have had the unique burden of being each of their confidants and knowing how they have felt about each other the whole damn time. I grew up with Gilbert and then theoretically got randomly placed as Anne’s roommate freshman year. I say theoretically because I think I must have done something terrible in a past life to be forced to watch them pine after each other for three and a half fucking years and being told by both of them that I can’t do anything about it.” She was getting worked up so she paused to take a deep breath. “So, I’d like to take a minute to apologize for being such an amazing friend and listening to them both when they requested I not interfere in their fucked up relationship because I know how hellish it has been to wait for this to develop.”

“Apology **not** accepted!” Cole called out.

“Agreed,” said Charlie and Tillie at the same time.

“Understood and I can’t say that I’m surprised. I don’t forgive myself either,” Diana conceded. “We’ve all heard about the Carrots incident in one form or another, but not many of you know about the rest of the day, so that’s where we’ll begin. Anne and Gilbert, to please your obsessive need for organization and control, everyone has come prepared with a story to tell about you and we will be doing so in chronological order. Please feel free to chime in whenever you want. We want this to be thorough to allow for proper healing to begin,” she joked.

Anne and Gilbert both rolled their eyes and Diana shouted, “Ooo! You all saw it! Double eye roll! Everybody take a shot!”

Sebastian produced a tray with shots so quickly that it appeared magical. Really, he just had them hidden on the blanket behind the log he was sitting on.

“If we take a shot every time they roll their eyes, we are going to die,” Ruby determined. “Seriously.”

“Don’t worry babe, we only have four shots prepared for each of us and obviously it’s not required. So, freshman year, I remember walking into our room for the first time. Anne got there first and was all moved in by the time I arrived and honestly, the way she stared at me when I arrived, I swore she wanted to date **me**.”

“I’m still not sure I didn’t,” Anne interrupted, laughing. “You looked like the freaking queen of the universe. I was completely in awe of you.”

“I know that now, but you shouldn’t have been, and you learned that quick enough. Anyway, we clicked right away and got to spend a couple days together before freshman orientation began, and it was amazing. We didn’t really have much in common, but like Anne says, we were kindred spirits and fit together like a puzzle. Unfortunately, we were assigned to separate orientation groups and Anne was NOT having it.”

“Bastards,” Anne muttered under her breath and shook her head. “I’m still mad about that.”

“Of course you are. And I’m mad that I missed witnessing your physical assault of the hottest guy in your orientation group, but we can’t always get what we want, can we? Anyway, I assured her she would be fine and we helped each other get ready so we would make good first impressions. We all now know though that Anne needed absolutely no help making an impression on Gilbert Blythe.”

********August, Freshman Year********

“Diana, please be honest, how do I look, like, really. Tell me the truth, I can handle it,” Anne looked at her new friend and braced herself for the criticism that was surely coming. The day was quite warm, so Anne was wearing a short black skirt and a small university t-shirt. Her thick, fiery hair was pulled into two perfectly messy braids and, anticipating she would be walking a lot, she put on her trusty Converse sneakers.

“You look hot, but you might want to rethink that skirt. We’re probably going to be sitting on the ground a lot today.”

“Ha! That’s cute that you think I’m sophisticated enough to wear an actual skirt,” she said, pulling the front up to reveal shorts beneath. “This is definitely an athletic skirt. At some point today, I’ll inevitably forget what I’m wearing and decide to climb a tree or do a cartwheel or something. I’ve learned it’s just good to be prepared.”

Diana looked surprised, “Do you really do that?”

“What?”

“Climb trees? Do cartwheels?”

“Uh, yes? I mean, not all the time, but yes. Do you not?” Anne knew she was a little different than most her girls her age but didn’t think climbing trees and doing cartwheels would be the things that set her apart. It was usually her red hair and her unapologetic outspoken nature.

“I’m fairly sure a cartwheel would get me nowhere except the hospital and I haven’t climbed a tree in many years. My neighbor used to let me help him pick apples so I climbed then, but never since. I’m loving that skirt though. I would never even be allowed to wear a something like that unless I was playing tennis, which I hate, so yeah, I guess that won’t be happening.”

Anne sighed. She didn’t understand how Diana’s parents could keep her so controlled at such a great distance, but that was probably just because Anne had only had an actual home for four years before leaving to come to the university. They hadn’t even been there a week and this wasn’t the first situation where rules were limiting Diana. And they were often just the strangest things: She couldn’t wear tank tops except to the beach; she could only eat meat three times per week, excluding fish which she could eat whenever she wanted; she had to wear closed toe shoes after 5 PM. _What the hell is that about?_ Anne wondered, _Must be a rich person thing._ Diana never mentioned being wealthy, but Anne could tell. She had a lifetime of experience that taught her how to recognize wealth, among other things. From her new wardrobe of perfectly coordinated clothes to her posture and the proper way she spoke (though tried to hide), it was quite obvious that Diana was from old money. Anne was just thankful that Diana was kind and didn’t seem to care that she had come from a whole different world. Not that she had mentioned it, but as clear as Diana’s upbringing was to Anne, surely Diana could see the difference between them as well.

“You’re on your own now, Diana, you can do what you want. Did you want to try one of my skirts?”

“I’m on my own, yes, but I’m still trying to get over the surprise that my parents are even supporting my pursuit of music. And let’s not forget that they are paying for me to be here. I’m not going to push it right now on the little things I don’t even care about. They have connections all over this university. If I step out of line, I’m sure it’ll make its way back to them.” Diana looked at Anne and laughed, “And I appreciate the offer, I do, but um, you’re a size 2 I’m guessing?”

Anne nodded, “Wow! That’s amazing! How did you do that?”

“It was just a guess based on knowing my size and knowing that yours is nowhere near it. You’re a twig, dear. A beautiful twig, but a twig nonetheless.”

“Yeah, I know,” Anne answered, clearly disappointed. She looked back into the mirror, seeing only the flaws that had been staring back at her ever since she could remember. “I keep waiting to fill out, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. This is likely as good as it’s going to get,” she said, holding her arms out in defeat. “Is my hair okay at least? I know the color, well, it is what it is, but is it styled okay?”

“There’s nothing wrong with not being curvy, Anne. And your hair looks great. I’m serious, you look hot. Why are you so concerned?”

She hesitated and bit her lip before admitting, “I’ve been teased a lot in the past. Like **a lot** , a lot. Too skinny, too freckled, no boobs, flat ass, shitty hair. Nothing unexpected really, but kids are mean.”

Diana looked at her in disbelief and said, “Yeah, mean and blind. Your weight suits your frame perfectly and your freckles are absolutely adorable. Regarding your chest- the old adage ‘more than a handful is wasteful’ should bring you some comfort and let’s see,” she said and grabbed her friend’s butt, “Your ass is fant-ass-tic.”

Anne yelped in surprise and then laughed.

“And Anne your hair, my god, your hair is absolutely amazing. It’s like twenty different shades of red ranging from deep auburn to strawberry blonde and it is the healthiest hair I think I’ve ever seen. I know a lot of people who pay good money to dye their hair to be as interesting as yours is, and the result is nothing compared to what your genetics have given you.” She paused and started giggling and Anne looked at her in horror. Diana continued, “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I just remembered I actually had a friend growing up who was obsessed with red hair. He was so in love with Ariel from The Little Mermaid that it was almost disturbing, but I think he was just a bit ahead of his time,” she smiled wistfully at the memory. “Anyway, I know redheads used to be made fun of, but dear, you all are trending now. If you’re interested in finding a man… or woman?”

“Man. Eventually. But mostly I just want to feel better about myself.”

Diana continued, “If you’re interested in finding a man, I don’t think you will have to try very hard. As for feeling good about yourself, you should. I see nothing to be ashamed of, and plenty of which I’m jealous. Now let’s go; you said you wanted to get some coffee and stop at the bookstore before heading off to your doom.”

“And my doom it will certainly be without you there beside me,” Anne responded dramatically as she went to get her purse from her desk.

“You’re ridiculous. Come on!” she said and pulled Anne out the door.

***

They went to the bookstore to get the workbook Anne forgot to pick up the previous day and then stopped for coffee in the union before parting ways to find their orientation groups. Anne walked out the doors on the south side of the building and paused, taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air. Summer was clearly coming to a close, but she was going to enjoy every moment that remained. She looked around and appreciated that the university had flowers everywhere. They weren’t the wildflowers that she had come to appreciate so much over the last few years at Green Gables, but they were wonderful to have around regardless. She walked slowly to the pond, enjoying her drink and taking her time to observe her surroundings. It seemed that most people were walking alone. Upper classmen weren’t on campus yet and the people she was observing were like her, off to meet with their assigned orientation groups. When she reached her destination, she decided that she may have found a new favorite place. The pond was beautiful, surrounded by boulders, benches, flowers and prairie grasses and there was a small fountain spraying in the center. She walked over to an empty boulder next to a girl who she was fairly certain was a beauty queen.

“Excuse me, are you saving this spot for anyone?” she asked politely.

“Nope! It’s all yours! I’m Josie,” the girl said, reaching out her hand to greet Anne.

“Anne. Thank you!” she said enthusiastically as she sat down.

“What are you majoring in?” Josie asked the required question when meeting someone new at university.

“Education. With a minor in literature and/or journalism,” she laughed self-consciously. “TBD I guess. What about you?”

“I’m entirely TBD. Though I’m thinking maybe linguistics. I’ve always been interested in language, like how languages change and develop over time and like, regional dialects and stuff, so I’m thinking linguistics would be a good path, I’m just not sure what I would be able to do with it, you know? I can actually usually tell where people are from in Canada just from talking to them for a few minutes.”

“Really? That’s fascinating! Where do you think I’m from?” Anne asked excitedly.

Josie laughed, “You, my girl, are the reason I said usually. For some reason I can’t place you.”

“I’m so sorry, I guess I’m a bit of a trick question,” she apologized honestly. “I’ve moved around a lot. Mostly around Nova Scotia, but the last few years I’ve been on Prince Edward Island.”

“Remarkable, what an exciting life you must have!”

“Sure,” Anne agreed and nodded once, but her smile was forced and her response was weak. Exciting was not the word she would use to describe her life. Fortunately, their orientation leader stepped forward and called for their attention. The students who were still standing took a seat and the space next to Anne was suddenly occupied by a guy with short, curly hair. Anne listened attentively and was excited to hear what was being said, but after about five minutes she felt as though she was being watched. She turned to her left and asked the guy, “Did you need something?”

He looked dazed, like he wasn’t quite seeing her or didn’t even realize that he had been staring.

He shook his head. “Um, no, sorry to have bothered you,” he apologized, and Anne thought he seemed sincere. He redirected his attention to where it should have been and Anne did the same.

She picked up her coffee and took a slow drink. She leaned back on the boulder and basked in the sun, enjoying the warmth on her body in contrast with the cold drink moving down her throat. She took some time to savor every bit of flavor in the beverage and sent a mental shout-out to the genius who originally thought of combining them. After she swallowed she took a deep breath, appreciating the smell of the flowers next to her, it was faint- they definitely would have been more aromatic in the spring and early summer, but she could still smell their sweetness and tried to guess what flowers she was smelling. When she opened her eyes to check, she felt his eyes on her again. She looked to her left and saw that the guy was staring at her again. _Moment ruined,_ she thought.

“Seriously, dude. What the fuck? Do I have something on my face?” she asked in a whisper, trying not to interrupt the group.

“Ah, no,” he smiled and asked, “What are you drinking?”

“Vanilla iced mocha?” she furrowed her brow in confusion.

“Are you asking me?” he laughed.

“I just don’t get what bearing this information could possibly have on your life. What I’m drinking is none of your business and absolutely inconsequential to your success, happiness or peace of mind. Furthermore, drinking it is hardly something worthy of observation by a third party so I kindly request that you stop.”

He nodded, seemingly impressed by her thorough reply and simply said, “You look like you’re enjoying it.”

“I am.”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Good.”

“Okay?”

“Alright,” he smiled politely again and turned his attention back to the leader, forcing himself to not look at the captivating redhead beside him again.

 _What is with this guy?_ she thought, so she asked him, “What is with you?”

“Shh, I’m trying to listen,” he said, stifling a laugh, and looked back to the front of the group.

Anne couldn’t stop herself from growling at him, but then took a deep breath and redirected her attention as well.

The guy evidently heard her growl and found it quite humorous because she could see his shoulders shaking in her peripheral vision.

The orientation was fine, but it unfortunately didn’t tell her much more than she already knew. Not that it was uninformative, Anne had just come way over-prepared, as always. They did some stupid ice breaker games as a group and then had a short Q & A session before breaking for lunch. The leader explained they were welcome to join her if they needed help figuring out dining services or wanted someone to sit with, but if not, she would meet them back at that same spot at one thirty for a tour of the campus. When they were dismissed, Anne looked at Josie and asked if she wanted to eat with her and Josie enthusiastically agreed. They were both relieved. Neither of them was interested in eating with the orientation leader and eating alone was not something they wanted to experience today. Maybe when they got more settled in it would be fine, but not today. Today was more of a ‘strength in numbers’ type day.

They stood and picked up their things and Anne heard the nuisance call back to her as he walked away, “Coming, Carrots?”

She didn’t respond, but she and Josie caught up quickly and Anne ‘accidentally’ bumped into him; her shoulder connecting solidly with his upper arm, pushing him into a lamppost. She heard a loud ‘thunk’ and he fell to the ground, out cold.

“Anne!” Josie yelled.

“Fuck,” she sighed, “That may have been a bit dramatic.”

“You think?” Josie yelled sarcastically as they both kneeled down in the grass next to the sidewalk to inspect the damage.

Anne rolled her eyes and then quickly chugged as much of her drink as she could without getting a brain freeze and dumped out the remainder. She took the workbook she bought out of her purse, unwrapped it and put the ice from her drink in the plastic to hold on the quickly forming bump on his forehead.

“Hey,” she said, slapping his cheek gently. “Anyone know this guy’s name?” she asked, looking around. They were the tail end of the group so not many people were around to witness the event. For that, Anne was incredibly thankful.

“Gilbert,” said the guy who had been sitting next to him.

“Really? Gilbert?”

The guy nodded, “That’s what he said.”

“Well, I don’t know why he would make that up, so sure, let’s go with that,” she said as she kept lightly patting his cheek with one hand and holding the ice with the other as she knelt next to him.

Josie laughed, appreciating the girl next to her who seemed to have no trouble speaking her mind.

Anne said his name a couple times before he regained consciousness. Gilbert groaned in pain and looked up at the redhead hovering over him. Had the throbbing in his head not been an obvious reminder that he was still alive he would have assumed he was in heaven.

“You could’ve just said you didn’t like the nick-name,” he muttered.

“You could’ve asked me my name instead of making fun of my hair,” Anne fired back.

“I wasn’t making fun of you; your hair is amazing.”

“He’s not wrong,” Josie added while Anne did her best not to blush.

Gilbert continued, “I’m from a really small town and I am apparently not very good at meeting new people,” he explained.

“Well, for future reference, that wasn’t the way to do it,” she laughed, noticing for the first time that this annoying guy was shockingly attractive, even with the bump on his head.

“Noted,” he said, sitting up.

“Is your name really Gilbert?” Josie asked.

“Unfortunately, yes. Gilbert Blythe.”

“Excellent. You sound like an old-timey ship captain or something,” Anne said.

“Thanks, I guess. And you two are?”

“Josie Pye.”

“Anne Cuthbert.”

“Brilliant.”

“Excuse me? Is that sarcasm or are you pretending to be British?” Anne asked, trying to decide how offended she should be.

Josie chimed in, “Not British. PEI. I’d place him in one of the northern coastal towns.”

“Avonlea, yeah, impressive,” he nodded toward Josie. “Cuthbert means brilliant. And looking at you now all haloed by the sun, it just seems a little too on point.”

“You’re weird, Gilbert Blythe,” Anne said.

“I am,” he agreed.

“We should get you to health services,” Josie suggested.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, waving her off.

“You feel this big-ass bump on your head, don’t you?” Anne said, poking it gently.

He winced and said, “Yeah, I’m good. If it’s bumping out, then it’s not bumping in.”

Josie, Anne and the boy she hadn’t met yet all laughed and Anne said, “I **really** don’t think that is sound medical advice.”

“All the same, I feel fine. Really,” he said as he took the ice from her and stood up, taking full advantage of the opportunity to touch her hand. “Thank you for the ice though, and for sacrificing the rest of your coffee. I know how much you were enjoying it,” he said with a smirk.

Josie and Anne stood as well and Anne said, “Don’t worry. I chugged what I could. I don’t even know you, I could hardly waste half a drink on you,” she didn’t mean for it to, but the comment came out a bit flirty and she couldn’t help but wonder, _What the hell am I doing?_

“So, what was I worth then, a quarter?” he asked, and Anne couldn’t ignore that he seemed almost hopeful. _That’s adorable. Wait, what?_

“Hell no. You’re worth an eighth, maximum,” she recovered. Before she could think about it, she asked, “You two want to join us for lunch?” _It’s just the strength in numbers thing. That’s all it is,_ she told to herself.

“I’m in,” said the unknown guy.

“Sure,” Gilbert agreed, “Feeling a bit guilty? Is this a pity invite?”

“You bet your ass it is. I think we should keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t pass out again,” she said, making an effort to sound serious, because she was, and she didn’t want that to sound flirty. “And I need to make sure you were worth spilling my drink for,” she added. _So **that** was a bit flirty, sue me. _

“And if I’m not?”

“Then you will buy me another,” she said as she walked away from him wondering where this confident version of herself was coming from. Diana had been telling her to just be herself, and apparently it was working. Josie seemed to like her, and these two guys weren't running away either. She was finally starting to see that she didn’t need to pretend to be someone she wasn’t so that people would like her; she was enough just as she was and people liked her just as she was.

“And if I am worth it?” she heard him call from behind her.

She paused, smiled and then called out, “Then you will buy me another!”

Josie laughed at her side and said, “Very impressive.”

***

Lunch passed… interestingly.

The other boy who had joined them was named James and he apparently lived a couple rooms down from Gilbert in the guy’s freshman dorm. He and Josie were both from Charlottetown so they spent lunch trying to see if they had any friends in common and talking about past high-school events that they may have both attended while Gilbert and Anne argued over the offensiveness of the Carrots moniker.

Anne didn’t really have good friends. She had some casual friends in high school and some people who she found casually annoying. She just hadn’t had strong feelings for any of her peers one way or another. It was because of this general indifference that she found herself wondering how it was possible that she could simultaneously want to throw this guy she just met into every lamppost on campus and also throw him down on her bed over and over again. She was sure she blushed when the thought ran through her mind, and it likely deepened when she remembered the gaping void that contained her lack of romantic experience. She concluded that allowing herself to have such thoughts about a guy who looked this good was just stupid, especially when he was defending his decision to call her Carrots.

“I’ve been made fun of for my hair my entire life, ‘Carrots’ being the term most often used by those also calling me worthless, trashy and ill-bred.”

“Who do you hang out with that talks like that?” he asked, looking honestly appalled, “And why?”

“That is not information you need to know and certainly not information I’m interested in sharing with you.”

“Regardless, I wanted to talk to you, I didn’t catch your name-” he tried defending himself.

“There was nothing to catch! You didn’t ask my name. Had you done so I surely would have told you! I don’t keep it secret; it is general information I would share with nearly anyone.”

“And it would obviously be inappropriate and misogynistic to call you Cutie or Legs, so I was left with Carrots or Tomato.”

“I’m not cute, I have short legs and why must it be a fruit or a vegetable?” she said quickly, leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

He mimicked her posture and challenged her, “I disagree, they sure as hell don’t look short and those are the first things I could think of.”

“And are you sure of hell?”

“What?”

“You said ‘sure as hell’ like you had some insight into the afterlife that the rest of the world isn’t privy to.”

“Hell isn’t exclusive to the afterlife. It’s everyday life for millions, and yes, I have been through it.”

“As have I,” she admitted.

They stared intently at each other for a few seconds until it got awkward and Anne asked, “Why did you want to talk to me?”

He smiled and slowly said, “Because of the way you drank your coffee.” _Alright,_ he admitted to himself, _it was mostly because of her hair and a bit because she didn’t hesitate to tell me off, but the coffee thing left an impression too._

She burst out laughing and leaned back in her chair, “Are you even for real right now? The way I drink my coffee?! What is that supposed to mean?”

He was quick to explain, “Most people drink coffee for the caffeine, or simply out of habit. Some enjoy it well enough, but you experienced your coffee. You looked like you were separating the flavors out in your mind, searching for the individual components; the chocolate, vanilla, coffee and-”

“Caramel,” she said quietly, nearly awestruck by his observation, “I always add caramel.”

He smiled and continued, “- and the caramel. Appreciating each flavor individually and then analyzing how they complement each other when joined together.”

“You got all that from watching me drink my coffee?”

“Was I wrong?”

“No,” she admitted in a near whisper.

“And I chose carrots over tomato because I **love** carrots and I am pretty apathetic towards tomatoes,” he said quietly. He stared at her with an intensity she had only read about in books and for the first time that day she didn’t have anything to say. He maintained eye contact for a minute and then casually leaned back in his chair and took a drink of water, making it impossible for her to not notice the sharp cut of his jaw.

She continued staring at him, trying to ignore how attractive he was. She was eventually able to clear the thought from her mind and said, “That’s a fairly well-reasoned argument for what seemed like a split-second decision.”

He smirked at her and said, “What can I say? I’m smart.”

“And so modest,” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“So. Now that you know that Carrots was not said in derision, may I keep calling you that?”

“What makes you think you’ll be calling me anything? I just met you and after orientation is over, there’s no guarantee that we’ll ever even see each other again. This is a big school. You’re pre-med and I’m education. The odds of running into each other aren’t great.”

“Well, apparently regardless of your verdict of me, I owe you a drink; your rules, not mine. And believe it or not, I’m actually willing to go out of my way to run into you again if you’ll allow it. But for now, I’ll risk it. You don’t think we’ll meet again? I bet you’re wrong, in fact, yeah, I’ll bet you that I will run into you again in the next two days, completely unintentionally. If I win, I get to call you Carrots.”

“How could you possibly think that?” _The gall of this boy, I swear!_

“Just a feeling I have. I think we are destined to be great friends, the very best, actually. Don’t you ever just trust your gut?”

“Do you, Mr. Type A? Yeah, you’re not the only one who notices things and trusting your gut doesn’t really seem like it would fit in with the,” she gestured at his whole body, “everything about you.”

“Pardon?” he asked, and she was quite pleased that she seemed to have finally caught him off guard.

“Pre-med: you’re ambitious. You’re clearly outgoing based on our interaction today, which has been absolutely flummoxing, if I might say. You are insanely organized; a notification popped up on your phone when we sat down and I saw your calendar. Classes haven’t even started; how could your calendar possibly be that full unless you are someone who schedules literally everything? That calendar is also indicative of an obsessive concern about time management. And you are competitive, jumping right in on a bet that you will see me again. Your hair is messy, but it’s a front, because it is perfectly messy, not just rolled out of bed messy. Also, I’m fairly certain that you ironed your shirt. You are a college freshman and you ironed a plain black t-shirt.” She paused and raised her eyebrows at him and mirrored his earlier question back at him, “Was I wrong?”

“No,” he said as he smiled. Then he leaned forward and spoke lowly, “Though I’d give you more credit if you knew and noticed those traits without sharing every single one of them with me. But let’s be real; you could have easily been describing yourself. Was. I. Wrong?”

He stared at her with such intensity that she had to force herself to maintain eye contact, even though it felt like he was burning holes in her soul.

The only argument she could make was, “This is **not** a plain black t-shirt.”

He laughed and sarcastically said, “You’re right, forgive me, I was completely off-base.” He had one remaining baby carrot on his plate and made a show of eating it while he stared at her. He leaned back again, took another drink, checked the time and then stood up and said, “I can’t go on the tour this afternoon, but I’ll see you again soon,” he said confidently and he winked at her. “Nice to meet you Josie and James.”

Anne couldn’t help herself and growled as he walked away. Josie looked at her and laughed.

***

They walked back to the pond together and talked for a bit while they waited for the rest of the group to arrive. She was surprised to hear that they both assumed Gilbert had asked her out during lunch.

“No, he didn’t, of course he didn’t. Why would you think that?” Anne asked, completely confused by their assumption. People didn’t ask Anne out, especially people who looked like Gilbert Blythe.

“Well, the way you were looking at each other, it seemed like there was something there,” Josie explained tentatively. “That and the fact that he said he would see you again soon with such certainty.”

“You’re imaging things, we were just talking. What am I saying? We weren’t even talking; we were arguing the entire time.”

“Hm,” James said, “I guess that would be pretty fast though, I mean you did just meet.”

“Exactly. And for real, I highly doubt that someone like him would ever be interested in someone like me,” Anne said as she got out her phone to check for messages. When she was looking down, Josie and James smiled at each other and shared a silent laugh.

***

After the tour Anne went to the library to read in peace for a few hours and then headed back to her room to wait for Diana so they could go down to dinner together.

“So, dear Anne, how did you find orientation?” Diana asked cheerily as she walked into the room.

“It was interesting. I think I made a friend though, this girl named Josie. She’s really interesting and didn’t seem to mind that I’m a bit unusual. And I was please to find that she was a bit unique as well. How was your day?”

“Fine. No complaints. Turns out Ruby from next door was in my group. Sweet girl, seems a bit sheltered though. I think she’s really struggling with being away from home.”

“Poor thing,” Anne added.

“Yeah, I think I’ll invite her over to watch a movie with us tonight, is that okay?”

“Sounds great!”

“Say,” Diana said as she started laughing, “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about a redhead that pushed some guy into a lamppost today, would you?”

“Ah shit,” she said, throwing herself back on her bed and rubbing her eyes. “I was hoping not many people saw.”

Diana started laughing loudly and Anne raised her voice over the volume, “In my defense, I thought he was making fun of me! I considered apologizing when we had lunch-”

“You had lunch with a guy? Do tell! I told you that you wouldn’t have to try very hard, didn’t I?”

Anne propped herself up on her elbows and asked, “Have you ever wanted to simultaneously punch someone **and** kiss them? Is that a thing?”

Diana laughed, “Apparently it is if that’s what you felt. So, tell me about him! Smart? Tall? Cute? Nice?”

“Oh, he’s smart. I could tell just from arguing with him. Not many people can keep up with me in an argument and I don’t think it even phased him. He’s tall enough. And really hot; way out of my league. Arrogant, but somehow in an attractive way? It’s possible it’s just confidence, I guess,” she explained, and then she paused before adding, “He’s **not** nice. We seriously argued the whole time. And it wasn’t just the two of us at lunch, Josie and this James guy came too, though they pretty much kept to themselves. Mostly I asked him to join us so I could make sure he didn’t pass out again,” she said and then thought to herself, _Also, I’m a giant liar._

“Again?!”

“Yeah, he got knocked out when I pushed him into the lamppost.”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Don’t worry about it, he’s fine. Probably. Anyway. We just spent the entire lunch arguing with each other, there wasn’t time for an apology. And frankly, I don’t think he deserves one.”

“You’re telling me that you actually caused him to lose consciousness and he doesn’t deserve an apology? I highly doubt that. What could he have possibly done?” Diana asked in bewilderment.

“He called me ‘Carrots,’” Anne said, as if it were an acceptable reason to give a guy a concussion.

Diana was still completely confused and asked, “And you don’t like carrots?”

“Diana…”

“Carrots have done some ill will toward you in the past…”

“No.”

“Oh, I know, ‘Carrots’ is slang for like whore or bitch or something like that.”

Anne laughed and sat all the way up. “It’s nothing like that! I told you kids used to make fun of me. That’s one of the things they called me, it just brought back all the bad memories. And I only meant to push him into it a bit, not make him pass out! And then he was so infuriating at lunch. He never did apologize for calling me that, you know, he just tried to justify it as a compliment, explaining how much he loved Carrots and making me feel like an idiot for not taking it as a compliment. I mean, seriously, it was so infuriating. But also, he was so smart and so cute and I just can’t… argh!”

Diana laughed, hoping very much to meet this guy someday. She had always believed that there is more than one side to every story and really did her best to hear from everyone before forming an opinion. This was learned from years moderating arguments between her little sister and her parents. She and Anne had only just met and for some reason Diana already felt a sort of loyalty to her, but while her version of the story was entertaining, she would very much like to know what was left out.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Would he tell me the same story?

Anne glared at her, “Yes. Probably. Also, I don’t care. It was ridiculous. I’m quite confused about the whole encounter. He’s pre-med though, so I highly doubt I’ll ever even see him again. Because of that, I won’t need to figure it out. I’ll just move past it and forget it ever happened. Let’s go eat.”

***

“How was your… meeting?” Charlie asked as he knocked on Gilbert’s open door to announce his presence.

“It’s therapy, Charlie, you can call it what it is.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you were advertising it.”

“I’m not, but I’m not ashamed of it either,” Gilbert explained.

“It went okay though?”

“Yeah, she actually agreed with me that I’m doing well. She wants to see me a couple more times as I get settled in here and then we’ll see if I need to or want to continue.

“Think you will?”

“Don’t know yet. It helps to talk to people, but I think I can get what I need from my friends. When dad died, I cut myself off from everything. That’s when the damage was done; I didn’t have anyone to help me through anything. The space I allowed for myself was good, but the isolation I forced on myself was not. Luckily, I found Bash- that’s when I was able to actually start dealing with shit.”

“Did you ever figure out why you ran?”

“Yeah. It was easier to choose loneliness than have it forced on me. I turned it into and adventure rather than a sentence, or so I thought,” he said as he looked out the window. A flash of red caught in the sunlight and he smiled. “I’m going to go eat, want to join me?”

“Sorry, I said I’d wait for Jerry. Don’t you want to hang back and go with us?”

He chuckled, “No, I have a feeling I should go now. I’ll explain later.”

Gilbert pushed his friend out of his room so he could lock up and then jogged toward the exit, leaving a very confused Charlie standing alone in the hallway.

***

Anne got some pasta, sat down at a table and began eating while waiting for Diana to finish making a salad. She had already found her favorite spot in the dining center. It was in the back, so it usually wasn’t very busy, and it was near the courtyard so it still felt like she was surrounded by nature even though she was inside. One side of the table was a booth seat and the other had two chairs, offering her options based on her mood. She chose a chair this time so that the sun coming in through the windows would be on her back. She was mid-bite when she was interrupted.

“Miss Cuthbert, would you be so kind as to allow me the pleasure of your company?”

He was standing behind her so she couldn’t see him, but she knew who it was. Even more aggravating than his unexpected presence and his request was the fact that she could hear him smirking. No, not just smirking. She could hear that he was actually on the verge of laughing.

She closed her eyes, swallowed and then took a deep breath. “Really? What century were you born in? Who speaks like that?”

“There is really no pleasing you, is there?” he laughed.

“Is this a goal of yours? Pleasing me?”

“What can I say? I like a challenge, Miss Cuthbert,” he said, sitting down in the chair next to her.

 _At least I won’t have to look at him this way,_ she thought. _He couldn’t possibly be as attractive as I’m remembering._ She really didn’t like being wrong, so she refused to look at him. She had really been counting on not seeing him again and not having to deal with her confusing feelings. There were plenty of guys she had found physically attractive before, but she had never been attracted to someone who she found so irritating. No one she had ever met could get under her skin as easily as he could. And he seemed to not only know that but actually enjoy it. _And **that** , _she decided, _is what makes him **not** nice._

“Do you derive some sort of pleasure from arguing with me? My name is Anne. Anne with an E. It is not hard. It’s absurdly simple and boring actually. It couldn’t possibly be easier to say or remember.”

“Well, Anne, I didn’t hear an objection, but if you want me to leave, I will. Just tell me.”

“You may stay, but only because my friend will be joining us soon and then I will be talking to her and ignoring you. In the meantime, I only request your silence.”

“Very well. I can do that.”

“You are wrong and you have already failed. Valiant effort though,” Anne said sarcastically and, in her refusal to look at him, missed the smile that was spread across Gilbert’s face. She audibly sighed in relief when Diana plopped down and joined them.

“Anne, look at this salad! The options here are incredible! I think if you let me, I could make a salad that even you would like,” she said quickly.

Anne rolled her eyes, realizing she would have to explain Gilbert’s presence at the table. Or at least make introductions. She took a deep breath and reluctantly said, “Diana, this is-”

“Gilbert Fucking Blythe! Oh my god!” she yelled as she jumped out of her chair, ran around the table and nearly jumped on him to hug him. He caught her as he stood up and lifted her off the ground, hugging her tightly in return and kissing her cheek. “You’re back! Or at least in Canada, I guess. How are you? How have you been? Where have you been? Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m crying it is just so good to see you. I’ve been so worried!”

He laughed as he put her back on the ground and said, “Good to see you, Princess. I’ve missed you too. And you didn’t need to worry about me. I appreciate it though; it’s nice to know that someone cared,” he said. “As far as your questions go, I’m good, I’ve been good, and um, the Caribbean mostly, I guess.”

They sat back down and she continued, “It’s so like you to just assume you wouldn’t be missed. Gilbert, you left and everything changed, I swear, it was awful, between you and your dad it was like the heart of Avonlea was taken away."

“It couldn’t have been that bad. I would have been leaving for school anyway.”

“It **was** that bad and you know that’s not the same. But I get it. And I’m not mad, I just missed you. Not as much as my parents though since I had nowhere to escape to anymore.”

Gilbert gave a soft laugh.

 _Son of a bitch,_ Anne thought, _was that a legitimate twinkle I just saw in his eye? Look away, Anne!_

“So… the Caribbean? Really? How exciting! I guess that explains the tan. You look good, though, healthy. Ah, hell, you actually got hotter. I gotta say that I did not think that was possible.”

“And I gotta say that it’s so awkward when you talk like that, Di. Please stop.”

She held her hands up in surrender, “Just stating a fact. You were in the Caribbean this whole time?”

“No, not the whole time. I was actually back in Avonlea in March,” he admitted, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“You were back in March and you didn’t say anything? I lied before. I **am** mad. In fact, I’m fucking pissed,” Diana said, clearly hurt by the revelation. “What the hell, Gil?”

He reached across the table with his palm up, asking for hers. Diana put her hand in his and he squeezed it.

“I’ll explain everything someday, I promise, but I didn’t just want to jump into my old life, you know? I couldn’t. It wasn’t even there to jump back into. Everything is different now. And I couldn’t deal with the attention I would have gotten if everyone knew I was back, especially after I left the way I did, which I admit, was a mistake. I brought a friend back with me. He went to get groceries and run errands, I mostly just stayed home arranging everything for the orchard and school and I spent a lot of time studying, to refresh my memory. I had to go to the bank a few times, but I just kept to myself as much as possible. I was ready to come see you in June, but then I remembered you would likely already be staying with Jo for the summer.”

“I look forward to the extended version because I’m still pissed. Did you even know I would be here?”

“I’d expect nothing less, and I'm sorry. Really. And yes, I planned on calling you this weekend. To apologize and catch up and explain everything.”

Anne couldn’t tell if she was relieved that she didn’t have to deal with Gilbert or if she was jealous that she wasn’t part of the conversation. Or even worse, if she was jealous that he was giving so much attention to another girl.

“Are you doing okay at least?” Diana asked.

“Things are going really well actually. I’m doing a lot better, thanks. And again, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before I left, really. I know that probably seemed cruel, but I just had to get away. I couldn’t deal with it all anymore. And being at home was unbearable, so I simply decided to not be at home anymore. But things are a lot better now. The space was good for me, the time spent healing since then has been even better. I feel close to my old self now, only, more appreciative of things, I guess. Does that make sense?”

“Definitely,” she said and paused to look at him, still not quite believing he was here. She saw Anne was nearly finished with her pasta and said, “Oh, sorry Anne! We didn’t mean to exclude you,” Diana apologized. “That was unbelievably rude of us. It’s just been a long time.”

“Yes, I gathered that. And don’t worry about it; you clearly had some catching up to do and I didn’t really want to talk to Gilbert anyway,” she said in an overly polite voice and Diana saw Gilbert laugh.

She was confused by Anne’s tone but asked, “So, Gilbert, did you just pick a redhead and sit down next to her and hope for the best?”

“I would never do that!” he said as he laughed. He took a drink and then looked at Anne and continued, “We met this morning at orientation.”

“Diana, this is the aggravating guy I was telling you about. The one who is many things, but definitely **not** nice.”

Diana looked back and forth between the smirking boy with the slight bump on his forehead and the annoyed girl rolling her eyes and started giggling. The giggling escalated quickly and evolved into a loud cackle. She eventually gave up sitting altogether and tipped over onto the booth seat next to her, tears streaming down her face.

Gilbert had been more like a sibling to Diana than her actual sister. They had grown up together and there was a time they understood each other better than they understood themselves. They hadn’t been in contact lately, but Diana still knew Gilbert better than anyone, and the look on his face when she saw him look at Anne could only be described as absolute captivation. The look on Anne’s face could best be described as confusion and annoyance highlighted with a deep blush.

“This is who you said was so mean to you?” Diana asked as she wiped tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry Anne, I’m all for female solidarity, but there is no way this guy was intentionally unkind to you. His senior year he was voted Most Likely to Buy His Murderer Lunch and then Apologize for the Inconvenience of Having to Kill Him.”

“Well, that is an utterly ridiculous award,” she scoffed.

“Well, Nicest Boy didn’t nearly cover it. Let me think of an example…”

“That’s really not necessary, Di,” Gilbert interrupted.

“No, it is. She’s not often wrong and I need her to know how wrong she was about you; I will not have her going around sullying your good name. So, Anne, at our school, being crowned homecoming king or queen comes with a small scholarship to the community college so you can get a head start on university of you want, or just save it if you want to attend the community college after school. Gilbert obviously was crowned homecoming king because, well, duh, look at him, and although he could have gotten a couple more college credits taken care of, instead he transferred the scholarship to one of our janitors who only had two classes left to finish the requirements to become an electrician. Changed the man’s life. He’s doing really well now, Gilbert. He and his two little girls actually just moved into a small house in The Meadows.”

“That’s great to hear,” Gilbert said, “but please stop.”

“Oh, that reminds me. Rachel Lynde missed you something fierce. She said it just didn’t feel like fall last year without your apple pie and the winter was long without you coming by to play cards with her. She did okay though, she’s learning how to get along without Thomas, though she still misses him terribly.”

“Di, that’s enough,” he said seriously. Diana mouthed sorry, knowing how uncomfortable he was talking about himself, especially when it could so easily come off as bragging. He continued, “So how do you two know each other?”

“Anne is my roommate,” she smiled mischievously. “Small world, huh? She’s actually from New London, did she tell you?”

“She didn’t, but I figured. She said she was a Cuthbert, so I made an educated guess.”

“My god, Gilbert Blythe, I can’t believe you’re here,” Diana said, looking at him lovingly. He smiled back sweetly at her.

Anne looked back and forth between the two, “I’m sorry, did you two date or something?”

Diana and Gilbert both burst out laughing and said, “No!”

Diana explained, “Gilbert was like my big brother growing up. He lived on the orchard next door to our family’s estate. When my stuffy house was too stifling, I could go over there and be a little more free. He taught me how to play video games and skip rocks and spit watermelon seeds. You know, the important things. I told you earlier I had a neighbor I would climb apple trees with? This is him. You aren’t still with Winnie, are you? Oh sorry, that was probably rude. Especially if you are.”

He laughed, “No. Definitely not. I’m still not entirely sure why I dated her, to be honest. She was nice enough for a while I guess, but in the end…”

“Kinda bitchy?” Diana supplemented.

“You said it, not me,” he laughed. “But yeah, when she threatened to break up with me if I didn’t go to the same college as her even though she knew I needed to stay close to home? That was really all I needed to know about her character. I wish I hadn’t wasted those few months with her though. Would’ve been better to spend more time with my dad, or just any decent person, really.”

“I kind of felt that way after I dated Billy.”

“You dated Billy? Diana, what were you thinking? And how did your parents let that happen?”

“I was thinking one of my best friends ran away and I needed some comfort,” she said, glaring at him. “And it’s possible that I didn’t share that information with them.”

“Of course you did. Sorry again. At least tell me you didn’t date him for long.”

“Couple months. I ended it when he tried to guilt me into sleeping with him. I learned a lot from the experience though. Mainly what not to do and who not to date. What about you. Did you learn anything from dating Winnie?”

“I learned that if I’m going to spend my time with someone, she better be real and not be putting on a show for others. And that if someone is going to kiss me it better be because she likes me and not the attention.”

“Touché, I was kind of wondering if she was using you a bit.”

“You think? So. Anne,” he said redirecting his attention. I think I’ve pretty well proven that we will be running into each other, probably quite frequently, so I **will** be calling you Carrots. Can I get your number? That way I can get you that vanilla iced mocha with caramel that I either owe you for disappointing you or get to buy you for proving myself worthy of spilling an eighth of your drink.”

“Fine,” she said, “You win. But I expect delivery of my beverage tomorrow morning.” She grabbed his phone, keyed in her number and pressed send so she would have his as well. She looked over at him as he saved it as FW.

“FW? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He paused just long enough to catch Diana’s attention and said, “Favorite Woman.”

“You don’t even know me; how could you think that?”

“Regardless, I think it might be true.”

“Not Carrots?”

“Not this time.”

Diana watched the exchange with a smile on her face, fairly certain that Anne had never met someone so like herself in her entire life and that’s where the frustration was stemming from. Anne was used to being the brightest and most quick witted, and she had met her match in Gilbert Blythe. There were many guys who wouldn’t be able to handle the passion that Anne conveyed, but Diana could already tell that’s what drew Gilbert to her. Just for fun, she decided to try something.

“Hey guys, did you guys see they have a chocolate fondue fountain?”

“That sounds crazy unhygienic,” Gilbert said.

“I think this is the first time I’ve actually agreed with you. Super disgusting,” Anne said.

“And did you guys see they’re going to be screening _Canada: A People’s History_ throughout the year?” Diana asked.

“Excellent!” Gilbert exclaimed.

“Really?” Anne asked excitedly.

“No!” Diana said as she started laughing again. “I was just checking something.”

“What?” Anne asked innocently and Gilbert smiled and shook his head.

“Oh, nothing,” she smiled as she looked back and forth between Anne and Gilbert. “This is going to be so much fun.”

“Well, I don’t understand what is happening right now so I’m going to get some ice cream, does anyone want anything?” Anne asked.

“No, I’m good, thanks,” Diana said. Gilbert agreed and watched her walk away until she was out of view then looked back at Diana with a huge, impish smile.

“So, FW?” Diana asked.

“Future Wife,” he said quietly and leaned toward her across the table. “Diana Barry, this is going to sound insane, but I think I’m in love with her. And no, not just because she has red hair. Though seriously, could she be any hotter? The answer is no. She couldn’t.”

Diana laughed, “I’m so glad you’re back. I missed this.”

He laughed too, “I don’t think we’ve actually done this before. In fact, I know for certain that not once have I told you that I’m in love with a girl who I’ve only known,” he looked at his phone, “Shit, I’ve only known her for like eight hours. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Absolutely nothing. You’ve picked well, Gil. I’m still getting to know her, but she seems great. I actually thought of you the moment I saw her.”

“Please don’t say anything to her, I don’t want to scare her off.”

“She’s not a deer, dude.”

“Obviously. And I’m not hunting her. But still, I think it’s going to be hard to get close to her.”

Diana looked at him seriously, “Gil, I can’t explain why, but it is. She hasn’t told me much, but she hasn’t had an easy life. I would recommend just trying to be her friend for a while, just, be kind, take it slow. She hasn’t had much experience.”

“With dating? I haven’t either; I don’t care about that.”

“No. Not with dating. With kindness.”

***

Anne and Diana said goodbye to Gilbert after dinner and took a walk around campus.

“So? You didn’t mention the guy you concussed was Gilbert Blythe.”

“I had no idea that was pertinent information. I fully thought I would never see him again and certainly didn’t expect you to be like, his sister, or whatever.”

“And now that you know you will see him again; do you want to?”

“Yes and no.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, because I find him intriguing.”

“And hot?” Diana supplied.

Anne laughed, “And hot.”

“And no because…”

“I don’t want to be interested in a guy who I don’t have a chance with.”

“What? Why would you assume that?”

“Well, you yourself explained how amazing he is and to quote you, again, ‘well, duh, look at him.’ Don’t worry, it’s probably just a fleeting attraction. Not even a crush; nothing to worry about. I’ll get past it and we can all be friends. No big deal.”

Diana stopped walking and stared at her in disbelief, starting to realize she had a problem on her hands.

She had told a guy to take it slow with a woman who couldn’t recognize flirting if it had been thrown at her all day long. She knew this because it **had** been thrown at her all day long. Not only that, but Anne didn’t think that there was anything in her worth flirting with. Maybe she would figure it out if she had encouraged him to go for it with her. Instead, she had told him to treat her as a friend, which Anne would take as proof that there was nothing special about her.

“Fuck.”

******** Back to the Bonfire********

“So this is your fault!” Josie yelled. “Three and a half years of them dancing around each other because of your advice to Gilbert to take it slow? You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Seriously Diana, we wouldn’t even be here complaining if you hadn’t said anything!” said Josie.

“Guys, stop yelling at Diana, this is not her fault,” Anne laughed. “This is no one’s fault. Do we wish we had gotten together earlier? Obviously. But Diana gave the right advice. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to be in a relationship. I would have been second guessing both Gilbert’s interest and every little thing I did the entire time. That would have been terrible for both of us. It’s probably true we wouldn’t be here complaining because our relationship would have imploded into a pile of resentment and self-loathing.”

“I disagree that we would have imploded. Explosion for sure. And I fully knew that I shouldn’t rush things with her, with or without Diana’s advice. So, Diana, whatever guilt you are carrying with you, you are absolved. Things happened how they were supposed to happen,” Gilbert said. “And if any of you think for even one minute all of this waiting was harder for you than it was for us, Anne will end you.”


	3. We're Both Unlucky; Isn't it Wonderful?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert get to know each other better and find they have a lot in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one. They won't all be this long, there was just a lot to cover. Let me know what you think!

“I think we all know how hard it was on you two,” Charlie said. “No one is saying that it wasn’t, I think it’s just unfortunate that you had to drag us all along for the ride. And no, not just because you were annoying as hell, but because we could all see how well you fit together and we wanted you to be happy.”

“That’s actually really sweet Charlie, thank you,” said Anne.

He continued, “But seriously, it was so annoying that you two either couldn’t see or refused to see what was happening. I mean how could you be so stupid?”

“Sweet moment gone,” Gilbert said. “Who is next anyway?”

“Mr. Sloane, so be quiet,” Bash said.

“Well, I had a hard time choosing a single story to tell, to be honest. I really wanted to tell about when Anne tripped and fell outside our house after a party and Gilbert took the opportunity to run his hand **way** further up her leg than the skinned knee he was cleaning up-”

“It wasn’t that far,” Gilbert weakly defended himself, trying to convince himself more than others.

“Your fingers were under the hem of her skirt, Gilbert, and it wasn’t a long one,” Jerry said. “It never was a long skirt when you were around him, was it, Anne?” he said with a wink.

“Shut up, he was comforting me. I was very injured!”

Ruby laughed, “Anne! You were barely even bleeding! And Gilbert was tending to you like you were on your deathbed!”

“And in Anne’s defense, she doesn’t own a long skirt,” Diana tried to help. “Dresses, yes, but she owns dozens of skirts and not one of them ends more than five inches below her ass.”

“And we are all thankful for that,” said Josie, raising a glass.

“Face it, Anne, if anyone else would have tried ‘comforting’ you like that he would have walked away with his testicles in his throat,” Charlie said. “Anyways, then of course there’s the fact that Gilbert always turned the heat down in the winter when Anne came over so he had an excuse to sit closer to her. That’s not so much a story as a general annoyance the rest of us put up with for two years.”

“Three for some of us!” Cole spoke up.

“And definitely worth mentioning. As is Anne’s ever-present scowl she failed to hide every time another girl flirted with him.”

Anne scoffed, “I mean, I get the appeal, obviously, and we weren’t together; they had every right to flirt with him all they wanted! It was just the fact that they did it while I was with him! And it happened **all** the time! It’s like they couldn’t even imagine for a second that he would actually go out with someone like me. Which of course, only fueled my own belief that he would never be interested in me. So really, this isn’t just on us, and it certainly isn’t on Diana. I, for one, blame the slow development of our relationship on the horny young women of Charlottetown.”

“Maybe you should have focused less on their flirting and more on Gilbert’s lack of reciprocation. Or even acknowledgment of their existence most the time,” Diana pointed out.

“And you know I would have explained it away as him just being a good friend.”

“True.”

Charlie continued, “And we are still all waiting to hear what happened in that barn you got trapped in back at Green Gables.”

“Nothing happened!” Gilbert and Anne yelled together, sick of hearing their friends complain about it.

“You keep saying that,” Cole said, “But then why don’t you ever talk about it?”

“Because nothing happened!” Gilbert said.

“Don’t you think that we would have said if something happened? But nothing did!” Anne explained. “There was a storm. We got trapped in the barn and fell asleep. That is the entire underwhelming story.”

“No one here believes you,” Tillie said. “But continue, Charlie.”

“Well, after much consideration, I decided to tell the story of when they got to know each other.”

“Diana **just** told us that,” Moody said, “Were you sleeping?”

“No, she told us how they met. This is different.”

********End of August, Freshman Year********

The final freshman orientation event concluded on Friday at lunch. They had turned in their scavenger hunts at the beginning of the meal and Anne’s name had just been called over the speaker. Apparently, she won something and ventured to the entrance to retrieve her prize. She had been looking at her class schedule, trying to determine if she could squeeze a couple more classes in and left it face up on the table so he took the opportunity to look at it. He smiled when he saw they had English 101 at the same time, but then noticed that they were in different sections. Always a problem solver, he took out his phone, logged in to his student account and after bumbling through the incredibly user-unfriendly registration system, joined her in her class.

 _What the fuck did I just do?_ he wondered. It was as though he were possessed; the whole process was over and done before he even considered any possibility that he was acting like a fool, or at the very least violating her privacy. _Was it really foolish though? It’s not like I had to do much for it, or bribe anyone to get a seat in there. Or even rearrange my schedule. It was simply moving to literally the classroom next door. And they were friends now, were they not? It’s perfectly normal to switch to be in a friend’s class. And she left it face up in front of me. Had she put it upside down I’m sure I would have left it alone. Probably. Maybe. Well, it’s impossible to know now._

He picked up his phone again and texted Diana.

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_I think I just did something creepy._

_Good.  
Your pristine track record could  
use some tarnishing.  
What creepy thing did you do?_

_Anne left her schedule on the table  
in front of me. I stole a look and  
transferred into her English class._

_This seems like information  
that she would have willingly  
given you._

_I know.  
I suck.  
And I’m desperate.  
I’ve known her for only three days.  
And I’m so fucking in love with  
her that I’m acting insane._

_Did you just quote Taylor Swift?_

_Shit.  
Yes.  
How did I get this way?  
Didn’t girls used to like me?_

_They still do. And so does Anne.  
But she’s different than other girls.  
She will never throw herself at  
someone to get his attention.  
And you wouldn’t be interested in her  
if she were someone who did. _

_True.  
That WAS ridiculously attractive  
that she didn’t throw herself at me.  
She’s like the anti-Winnie._

_Please tell me the next time you do  
something pathetic. I love seeing  
you like this._

_So glad to hear you find this so  
entertaining._

_Come on Gil, you must see the humor here.  
You have had girls chasing you since you  
were ten and the only girl you’ve ever been  
truly attracted to is the one who told you off  
and gave you a concussion within an hour of  
meeting you. _

_Well, she’s spunky.  
And smart.  
And bold.  
And she has red hair.  
What’s a boy to do?_

_Fall in love with her. Obviously._

_See? You get it.  
I didn’t even have a choice.  
Though if I did, you know  
I’d choose her all day long._

_So when are you going to tell her that?_

_When I’m ready.  
When she’s ready.  
I don’t know.  
I don’t know her well enough yet  
for any of this to make sense.  
What would you do if a guy told  
you he was in love with you and  
didn’t even know the most basic  
things about you?  
Like your middle name, favorite  
food, birthday, favorite drink.  
The only thing I know about her is  
that I love her, and I think she’s  
going to need more than that.  
She has no reason to believe me  
right now.  
This is pathetic.  
Feel free to slap me later._

_Excellent. Then there will be 2 beautiful  
women that have beaten you up in less  
than a week!_

_It’s no less than I deserve.  
See you later._

Anne returned to the table and plopped down.

“What did you win?”

“A fucking parking pass with reserved parking.”

“That’s awesome!”

She rolled her eyes and said, “I don’t have a car, Gilbert!”

He looked at her, produced his most charming smile and said, “I have a car, Carrots.”

She tried to ignore the fluttering in her heart when he looked at her and said, “Your point?”

“You could give the pass to me and I will let you borrow my car whenever you need it. Or I’ll just drive you places, wherever you want. I don’t care. Please? I’m currently parked, like a mile away from campus, and this will make it so much easier when I need to run home. I can trade you something for it if you want, you know, so everything is fair and square.”

“Fair and square?” she laughed. “Who says that anymore?”

“I do. Please, Anne? Pretty, pretty please?” he begged.

“Fine.” _Like I could possibly say no to that face. Ugh, I don’t even want to say no to him. I just want… him. Fuck._

“And what do you want in return? Anything. Seriously, just name it.” _Please say dinner, please say dinner. Or a coffee date. Anything, please._

“Nothing but your unwavering friendship and undying devotion,” she lied. _It’s just a crush. It’ll pass._

“Done! That’s easy, you already had that anyway,” he said, trying to hide his disappointment as he snatched the parking permit out of her offering hand.

 _I should have asked for dinner,_ she thought. _Or a coffee date. Anything._

“Anne? Random question for you. What’s your middle name?”

“Shirley. Why?”

“Just wondering. Anne Shirley Cuthbert,” he mused. “That’s really pretty. Classy.”

She couldn’t help but blush and chose to start talking in an attempt to cover it up. “It was Margaret, but I knew a Margaret for a time when I was growing up and she was… unkind to me. The opportunity to change it presented itself a few years back, so I took it.”

“Where did Shirley come from then?”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Not important, I just liked the name.”

“Liar,” he said, but he let it go. They finished their meal in peace, talking about their school schedules. It might’ve been wishful thinking, but he would have sworn that Anne actually looked happy when it was revealed they would be in the same English class.

***

Anne couldn’t believe that out of all the sections of freshman English she happened to be in the same one as Gilbert, but she didn’t dare question it. Maybe her luck was finally changing. She had found a bit of clarity regarding her feelings toward him. She now knew exactly what she felt and was pointedly trying to ignore it in an effort to preserve both her sanity and their developing friendship and he was not making it easy.

Diana had been telling the truth; Gilbert was a good guy. That was abundantly clear and there was no sense in denying it. He was exceedingly polite and well-mannered to the point that it was awkward at times, going out of the way to hold doors open for people or pick up after others. He would also engage in thoughtful conversation with various university employees, most notably those in the service sector who were often ignored and under-appreciated.

Anne was walking with Gilbert through the union when Gilbert paused to thank a custodial worker who was cleaning up a huge mess left behind be some students. He ended up indicating he didn’t speak English and Anne’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when Gilbert responded to the man in seemingly perfect Spanish. The man’s eyes lit up and it was clear that that one simple gesture had meant the world to the man. Anne told Gilbert to take his time and grabbed a table to sit and read at, while Gilbert helped the man pick up the garbage. Anne would have stayed to chat but being able to count to ten in French wasn’t going to help her here.

About ten minutes later Gilbert returned to her and it looked like he was blushing.

“Why is your face all red?” she asked.

“He just made me laugh a lot,” he explained. It wasn’t untrue. Manuel had said a couple things that made him laugh pretty hard, but his face was red because he had pointed something out to Gilbert. Even Manuel, a stranger who had only watched them interact for a few moments in a different language, could see that Gilbert was gone for Anne. He really thought he was doing a better job hiding his affection for her. Anne certainly hadn’t noticed, or at least never acknowledged it.

Then a thought entered his mind that he hadn’t considered before: _Maybe she’s purposefully ignoring it because she isn’t interested. She might never be interested in me that way_. It was like a light bulb revelation. Not that anyone knew what was going on in his head, but his face was red because he had never been more embarrassed. He felt like such an idiot for assuming he had a chance with her; for being so disgustingly arrogant as to actually put her number in his phone under a contact name indicating she would be his wife someday.

Diana was right. Girls had always liked him and somewhere along the way he had gotten so used to it that he treated it as the assumed reaction, like he was so impressive that he would just have to pick someone and they would be there waiting for him. The thought made him sick and the blood drained from his face, leaving him looking truly ill. For just a second, he was happy his dad wasn’t around to see that this is what he had become.

_Where is it written that she has to like me? She could have her pick of anyone walking by. Fuck. I don’t even know if she’s interested in men. I may have been a big deal in Avonlea for a time, but I’m nothing here, and I’m sure that is abundantly clear to someone as intelligent as she is._

“Gilbert?” Anne asked, interrupting him, and placing a hand on his arm in concern. “Gil? Are you okay?”

“Oh my god… I’m such an asshole.”

“What?!” she asked, dumbfounded. From her perspective she just watched a young man help a recent immigrant feel more welcome in his new home, pointed out the work he was doing was valued and appreciated and by helping him showed the man that he thought of them as equals. _Yeah… seriously… what a jerk…_

Anne watched him get out his phone and make a call.

“Hi, I’d like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Kissinger? … Gilbert Blythe … Yeah, I know I have one next week, something came up and I’m wondering if I could get in sooner,” he waited in silence for a few minutes as Anne stared at him, concerned. He mouthed ‘sorry’ and she shook her head to tell him not to worry about it. “Twenty minutes? Yeah, I can be there. Thank you so much.”

“Are you okay?” Anne asked tentatively.

“I will be. I need to go, sorry. I’ll explain later. Maybe.”

“Okay?”

“Sorry. Really.” He laughed softly and explained, “This is going to sound like such a line, but it’s the truth: it’s not you- it’s me. I just realized something and I need to deal with it before it gets out of control. That’s all. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah. Later,” she said quietly as he walked away from her.

She couldn’t help herself, he made no effort to hide who he was calling, so she pulled out her phone and looked it up. There were two Dr. Kissingers she could find in Charlottetown. One was a dentist that Gilbert would need to drive to get to and he wasn’t walking toward his car. Also, she couldn’t imagine how a tooth emergency would have come up like that and caused him such distress. The other was a Dr. Laurel Kissinger, a psychologist at the university counseling center. She had hoped to find comfort once she knew who he was calling. She did not. She almost went over to the guy he had been talking with to ask what they had talked about, but that wasn’t really an option considering the language barrier. She opened a text to Diana, but stopped herself, not wanting to gossip about Gilbert’s health. So she just put her phone away and walked back to her room.

***

She saw him at dinner that night. He and his roommate Moody joined Anne and Diana and engaged in polite conversation while eating. When they finished eating, they didn’t linger and Moody and Gilbert left without having dessert.

“Diana, I don’t mean to gossip, and I’m not, but is Gilbert okay? Have you talked to him today?”

“Yeah, we talked. He’s fine, he just needed to deal with something.”

“That’s what he said, but he didn’t say what it was and I looked up his doctor’s name and I just got worried.”

“I’m sure he’ll share everything with you when he’s ready Anne, but he’s doing fine. I promise.” Diana smirked, trying to shift the tone of the conversation. “Are you that worried about a boy you met less than a week ago?”

“I’m just as surprised as you are, trust me. But if you would have seen how quickly the blood drained out of his face, you would have been concerned about him even if he were a perfect stranger. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to pass out,” she said, and then smiled mischievously and continued, “And if that boy is going to pass out it’s going to be my fault and no one else’s!”

Anne didn’t mention that when the incident happened, he had been looking at her, and she assumed that it was her fault even though he indicated otherwise.

***

She noticed he was a bit more reserved the next couple times she saw him and it put her on edge. By Sunday night, she had had enough. Moody, Gilbert and Ruby were in Anne and Diana’s room watching a comedian special on Netflix to calm down before the first day of class. Gilbert was sitting, leaning back against the closet door when Anne came back with pizza for the group, courtesy of Diana’s parents. After setting the pizza in the middle of floor and filling up two plates, she went over to him and slid down the door so she was sitting next to him.

“Hey,” she said, handing him a plate.

“Hey,” he said, and he took a bite. “Thanks.”

“Look. I don’t care that you left abruptly the other day. I don’t care that you are in therapy except that I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. Yeah, I looked up the doctor. You would have done the same thing so don’t complain. And I don’t care if you don’t want to tell me what’s going on. We just met and I don’t need to or expect to be privy to your secrets, but Gilbert?”

“Yeah?”

“That day, you looked at me and you transformed from a happy-go-lucky guy into a ghost. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, and I almost believe you, but I can’t get that out of my head and you’ve been acting strange ever since. I’ve been in therapy and I definitely don’t want to belittle what you are going through. Whatever it is, take your time and work through it. But I’m really going to need you to turn back into the overconfident prick I met on the first day of orientation because I can’t be worrying about you when classes start tomorrow.”

“And what if that confidence came from a very shameful part of me that I recently acknowledged and then lost?”

“In that case, I would remind you that I don’t know you very well, but I don’t think that Diana would have spent the last four days gushing about how you are the best person she knows if you didn’t deserve the title. Think about everything else you’ve accomplished in your life and the kindness that you’ve shown others. You are a good guy, Gilbert, and you should find your confidence there. Assuming it came from only one aspect of you doesn’t mean that it did, and honestly, it probably didn’t, you just think that it did because what you realized has thrown you off. Tell me something, over the last couple days, do you feel like yourself, or are you trying to act a certain way because you are compensating for something else?”

He sighed loudly but didn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought. Being anything other than yourself isn’t going to help you. You can’t heal if you aren’t being honest about who you are.”

“And you know this from experience.”

“You know it.”

“Then in the interest of honesty, can I ask you a question, Anne?” he asked quietly.

She whispered back, “Sure, but only if you whisper it and continue to make it look like we have some massive secret.”

He couldn’t help himself and burst out laughing. She smiled brightly, having missed the sound over the last couple days.

He tried to keep whispering to hold up his end of the deal, but it was hard considering he was still trying not to laugh. “Um… besides the first time I called you Carrots, have I ever been disrespectful of you? Has anything I’ve ever done made you feel uncomfortable?”

She whispered back, “Gilbert Blythe, you have made me feel many, many things in the short time I’ve known you, but disrespected is definitely not one of them. And you’ve only made me uncomfortable because I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“Are you sure about that?” he said with the same smirk she saw on the first day they met.

“Not counting myself,” she conceded and smiled at him. “Welcome back.”

***

The next day, they walked to English together after lunch and sat down at the same table. Gilbert silently rejoiced when they received news that for their first assignment, they would be partnered together with the person they were sitting next to. They looked at each other and smiled pleasantly. Gilbert’s smile instantly fell when they learned it was going to be an interview to learn about their personal history and why they chose to study what they are studying.

He knew it was strange that he claimed to be in love with Anne but remained reluctant to share his past with her. In his defense, he didn’t like talking about it with even his best friends. He really didn’t like talking about himself at all, ever, with anyone. The fact that he was so desperate for her to like him added even more pressure to the situation. Had he looked toward Anne he would have seen that she was grimacing as well. No one here knew anything about her past other than she was from New London and that she was teased a bit when she was growing up. She wasn’t especially keen on any of them learning more. The information had never been received well in the past. It seemed that she was making friends here; real friends for the first time ever and she was afraid that if she revealed too much, they may start to drift away from her.

After going over the syllabus and parameters for the assignment, they were dismissed early.

“So, when do you want to do this?” Gilbert asked hesitantly.

“Ugh,” she said as she let her head drop on her arms resting on her desk. “I assure you this has nothing to do with you,” she said into the desk, “but I am very much not looking forward to this.”

“Same,” he admitted.

She perked up, “Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t like talking about my past. I guess you’ll figure out why.”

“Same,” she admitted. “Should we do it over dinner tonight then? Just get it over with?”

“That works. Ask if Diana can join us, so I can explain it all to her as well. And do you mind if my friend Charlie comes? I’ve been wondering how to catch them up with everything that happened last year, this seems as good a way as any. The fewer times I need to talk about it, the better. He can leave when it’s your turn if that would make you more comfortable.”

“Oh, I think we’re all going to be plenty uncomfortable; he might as well stay and join in on all the fun.”

“That’s the spirit!” he said sarcastically and Anne laughed in response.

***

They met around six at Anne’s favorite table. Anne and Gilbert sat in the booth seat and Diana and Charlie were in the chairs facing them. They enjoyed dinner and casual conversation and then Anne took out her phone, ready to record the conversation.

“Alright. Time to share some secrets. Are you ready?” Anne asked.

“No,” Gilbert groaned. “Go ahead.”

She pressed record and asked, “When were you born?”

“November 11th, 1995.”

“Are you sure?” Anne asked, confused.

“Pretty sure.”

“How does that work?”

“I took a gap year after I graduated.”

“Which would make you 19. But you turn 21 in a couple months.”

“I was travelling during 8th grade. So, I lost a year there as well.”

“Travelling? What? Who does that?”

“Shh.”

“Did you just shush me?”

“There’s nothing I would love more that to listen to you talk all day long Anne, but unfortunately I don’t think you know this story. So yes. Shh. My mother’s name was-”

“Was?” Anne interrupted again.

“Shh. My mother’s name **was** Eloise. She was strong and kind and apparently had unfailingly good health until becoming pregnant with me. She was able to carry me to term, but she had preeclampsia and I was breech and too large. The stress of the labor, attempted delivery and emergency c-section was too much. She died shortly after I was born.”

Diana and Charlie knew this, so they listened quietly while watching Anne’s eyes tear up.

Anne turned toward him, bringing her leg up on the booth, accidentally pressing her shin against the entire side of his thigh. “I’m so sorry. You don’t blame yourself, do you?” Anne asked.

He looked at her intently, trying to ignore the sudden physical contact and said, “Of course, I do. Wouldn’t you? She was perfectly fine until I came along.” Talking about this always made him a little emotional, so he took another deep breath to steady his voice. “Anyway, after that it was just dad and me. John, that was his name, and my middle name. He was a teacher at our high school.”

“Was?” she asked weakly, almost afraid to ask.

“Yes. Was,” he said, staring into her eyes. Diana and Charlie watched them both closely, wondering if either of them remembered they were there. Gilbert continued, “It was just the two of us for a long time. He finally started dating again when I was, um, probably around 13? He dated a woman from New London for about a year, pretty casually, but even I could tell there was a real connection between them. They got on really well and although she was a bit formal, and I always felt like I had to be so well behaved, it was so nice when she was around. I had assumed they would eventually get married, but my dad got cancer and didn’t want to drag her through it. I found letters after he died where she was begging him to reconsider, that she’d happily care for both him and me through this terrible time, but he refused. I guess after watching someone he loved die he couldn’t bear to do that to another person knowing it could be avoided.”

“I’m from New London, kind of. I wonder if I’ve met her; it’s not a very big town. Who was it?”

“I called her Mari,” he paused and tentatively continued, “I think you know her, Anne; my dad dated Marilla Cuthbert.”

“Holy shit. **My** Marilla dated your father? How crazy is that?”

“Yes. Super crazy. That’s how I knew what Cuthbert meant. He used to go on and on about her brilliance. She brought so much light into our lives and she was so intelligent and quick witted.”

“So, Anne, is Marilla your mom?” Charlie asked.

“I’m sure Anne will get to that in her turn, sorry, I just want to get this over with.”

“Did you know who I was when we met then?” Anne asked hesitantly.

“No.”

“Then why did you talk to me?”

“Because you have red hair,” Diana interrupted with a smile.

“Because you’re hot,” Charlie said matter-of-factly, like he was answering the most obvious question that had ever been asked.

Anne blushed and Diana laughed. She had missed these guys so much, and Anne fit in with them so well.

“I already told you why I wanted to talk to you; I wasn’t lying, Anne.”

“But he probably wasn’t telling the entire truth either,” Charlie added. “Gilbert’s like that sometimes.”

“Charlie, if you could stay out of my head, that’d be peachy. Thanks. Anyway, dad wanted to travel while he was still well enough to do so. I tried to keep up with the work in 8th grade while travelling with him. But it just didn’t work out so I simply continued my education with Charlie’s class when I returned. Dad was okay for a few years then, it was hard to see that he was even sick, but he got bad senior year and died last August, so I deferred my enrollment here and, well, there’s no sugar coating this: I ran away.”

“Where did you run to?” Anne asked. “You said the Caribbean. Did you just travel all over?”

“I got a job on a cruise ship, so kind of, yeah.”

“And what did you do on this cruise ship?” Diana asked.

“I bussed tables for a couple months, then my roommate brought me on to tend bar with him. Said he couldn’t stand to listen to my scrawny ass complain about my sore arms at the end of every day, but I’m pretty sure it was because of my winning personality,” he answered.

Diana and Charlie laughed and Anne said dryly, “Yeah, I’m fairly certain it was the whining.”

“Shut up and be nice to me,” he joked. “Anyway, that’s how I met Sebastian. And that’s who I brought back to split the orchard with. He was working on the ship to support his wife and child back home in Trinidad. I only met his wife Mary once, but I seriously loved that woman.”

“Going after another man’s wife is not cool, man,” Charlie said.

“Not like that, you tool. Bash was kind of a big deal on the ship, if I’m being honest. But don’t ever tell him I said that or I’ll never hear the end of it. He pretty much kept things civil between crew members and you did not cross him. Hell, if you were smart, you worked to impress him because he could get you the job you actually wanted; he knew who to talk to and what strings to pull. He was completely in charge on the ship, but Mary, oh Mary was the boss of that relationship and he couldn’t have been happier about it. I have never seen a man worship his wife the way he did. It was truly admirable. When she was killed-”

The group gasped in horror at the news.

“I thought he would die from grief. Hell, it was like losing another family member myself, and most of my knowledge of her was only through him. But maybe that’s how I grew to like her so much; everything I knew about her was through his eyes and he thought she could do no wrong. She died and it was like a light in him burned out and all that was left was a shell of who he used to be. It was a home invasion,” he explained to his friends who each were staring at him with an open mouth, “though Bash said they didn’t have much home to invade. The actions of drug addicts rarely make sense, I guess. The only silver lining was that at least Delphine wasn’t hurt.”

“Who is Delphine?” Diana asked.

He pulled out his phone and showed them a picture of Sebastian and Delphine, and answered, “His daughter. With Delly to take care of, he couldn’t work on the ship anymore but needed a way to make a living. The novelty of running away from my problems had worn thin so I suggested he come back with me and take over the orchard. It’s not huge,” he explained to Anne, “But it’s about 25 acres and has about 5000 trees, so I certainly can’t take care of it on my own and definitely not if I’m not there. When we got back in March, we got all the paperwork taken care of and came up with a plan, I taught him about the land and the process and we cleaned the place up, found some people to hire, etc.”

Anne looked at him quizzically, “So, you’re telling me that you left for seven months without telling anyone, came back with a black man and a child and everything was just fine? In New London the gossip alone in that situation would have skewered you alive.”

“I called Rachel Lynde, the person most responsible for Avonlea gossip, ahead of time to fend off any misinformation. I told her to keep my return quiet while I arrange things, but if anyone said anything, this is what was going on.”

“Smart,” Diana said, “though I’m still mad you didn’t tell me you were back.”

“Understood.”

Anne was still stuck on the arrival of Sebastian, “How is he doing? In Canada? In a white country town? All alone? I can tell you from personal experience that it isn’t easy being an outsider on that island. Especially if you are so very clearly an outsider.”

“He’s doing… okay… I guess. Still grieving; he has good days and bad days, like we all do when we have lost someone close to us. He keeps to himself mostly. Rachel has kind of taken us under her wing and stops by to check on us every Tuesday. And if there’s anyone in Avonlea you want on your side, it’s Rachel Lynde. I think eventually he will be good. I’m going to try to get up there most weekends so he knows he still has me around and that I’m not abandoning him.”

“Wait, you said the other day you used to want to be a teacher, but now you’re pre-med. What happened?”

He got noticeably nervous at the change of topic and Diana looked at him curiously. He answered, “I did want to be a teacher, like my dad, but on the ship we had a very rocky day that changed my mind.”

There was a brief moment of silence where it didn’t look like Gilbert was going to continue.

“So… you’re seeking a cure for sea sickness?” Charlie asked. “My mother sends her thanks.”

“No. I just haven’t told anyone this story yet. And I don’t really want to.”

“Why not?” asked Diana.

“Because no matter how I think of telling the story, it’s going to sound like I’m bragging. And I’m not, or at least that’s not my intention.”

“We know you Gilbert. Well, Charlie and I do anyway. If anything, we fully expect that you will downplay the situation as much as possible.”

“So just state the facts, no embellishment,” Anne encouraged him.

“Alright. We got caught in a storm. A bad one. We thought we were out of its path, but it shifted suddenly so we had a couple rough hours.”

“You got caught in a storm that shifted paths? Gilbert… were you in a hurricane?” Anne asked tentatively.

“Just a little one, but yes. And only the very edge, it really wasn’t a big deal-”

“Oh my god!” Diana exclaimed. “You could have died and I never would have known what happened to you!”

“No one died, Diana, and I certainly wasn’t going to, but people were scared. Really scared. Bash and I were too. We only had one doctor and two nurses on board and they were busy dealing with some critical heart concerns when a woman went into labor. Bash and I heard her cry out when we were closing the bar that afternoon, so we… we went to help her.”

“How exactly did you help her?” Anne asked.

“I told Bash what we needed to make the process as clean and safe as possible and I, um, I helped her deliver her baby.”

“What the fuck, Gilbert,” Diana said. “You delivered a child?”

“No. I’m a man and don’t really have that ability. I just helped talk her through her delivery and caught the baby.”

“Had she had a child before?” Anne asked.

“No.”

“Had she taken any labor and delivery classes? Did she know what to do?”

“Yeah, but she was alone and scared, she couldn’t remember anything. The baby was early, the ship was rocking wildly so we couldn’t safely move her and we had no way of finding her husband or family because we could hardly leave her alone. It was a nightmare.”

“Wow, that’s crazy. But apparently everything went smoothly though? I mean, all things considered?” Anne asked, encouraging him to continue.

He rubbed his eyes and, avoiding eye contact, admitted, “No. The baby was breech.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Diana asked. “I know you said you were one, but I don’t know the term.”

“The baby was upside down. I went to check on her progress and all I saw was baby butt. Babies should be head down when they are delivered. When they are not, a normal delivery is not really possible. Usually women in this situation would receive a c-section like what they tried to do for my mom.”

“So, what did you do?” Diana asked on the edge of her seat.

“I had to rotate the baby around in the womb.”

“Oh my god,” Anne gasped.

“It’s not that big of a deal. People deliver babies all over the world every minute in far worse conditions. I’ll admit, getting the baby to move was hard. Really hard. Sonja was screaming so loudly I thought I was killing her, but I could feel that it was working so I continued and just prayed for the best. After moving the baby, all I did was help talk her through the rest of the process. She delivered the child without further complication, I cleaned him off, wrapped him up and handed him over to her and the doctor arrived about ten minutes later.”

“Not a big deal my ass,” Anne practically yelled. She appreciated Gilbert’s modesty, really, but he needed to realize how amazing this was. Bragging was different than being proud of your accomplishments. “Tell me something, Gilbert. Had you not been there to discover the baby’s position and she tried to deliver it by herself, what would have happened?”

“If she tried to deliver it without assistance. She probably would have died,” he said quietly.

“And the baby?”

“Yeah, her son too. It would have been extremely unlikely that either of them would have survived.”

Without thinking, she grabbed his hand with hers and squeezed it. “This **is** a big deal, Gilbert, and it’s okay for you to acknowledge that. Having pride in your actions and accomplishments is not bragging. You being there and knowing what to do is nothing short of a miracle.” She realized that her hand was in his and abruptly removed it. “Ah, sorry, I tend to get really wrapped up in stories. Um. where are they now?”

His hand closed longingly at the vacancy left by hers and he continued, “Somewhere in the states. They sent me a card at Christmas and a gift. They’re all doing really well.”

“That was nice of them. What was the gift, Gilbert?”

Gilbert found himself hoping he would never be interrogated by Anne. He couldn’t look away from her, he couldn’t lie and he couldn’t deny her an answer. He quietly responded, “Five thousand dollars.”

They all gasped and Charlie fell out of the chair he was leaning back on. He got back up quickly and said, “What the hell?!”

“They said it wasn’t enough but it was all they could afford. I tried to return it, I swear, but they said they wouldn’t take it back and that I should put it toward school, so I did.”

“Did you keep the card?” Diana asked.

“Yeah, I keep the picture in my wallet as a reminder.”

They all stared at him expectantly.

“Do you want to see it?”

“Obviously!” Diana yelled.

He pulled the folded photo out of his wallet and his friends read: _Merry Christmas! From Sonja and Juan Hernandez and our newest addition: Gilbert Sebastian, born November 11 th, on a boat in the Caribbean Sea._

“Holy shit. This all happened on your birthday?” Diana asked.

“That’s some seriously weird coincidence, Gil,” Charlie added.

“Yeah. It was. And I tried to talk her out of the name, really, but she was adamant. She said that she wanted to be reminded every time she said his name that it was a miracle either of them was still alive. So, after that, with how natural it felt to be helping her through that and how rewarding the experience was, I found that there was something else out there calling to me that was stronger than teaching.”

The table was silent as they all processed what Gilbert had shared.

“Are you real?” Anne asked, breaking the silence and poking him in the forehead. “Are you a real human person or did someone just write you into existence? Do you have any flaws at all?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly.

“Wow, not even a moment of hesitation,” she said, surprised. “Care to share?”

He laughed, “I think I’ve shared enough. Can’t give you too much power over me, can I Carrots?” _Apparently holding all the power over me isn’t already considered too much,_ he thought.

“Can we take a quick break then? I’m just going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

“K,” he said.

She stopped the recording and she left the table.

“Falling for a girl in a day isn’t a flaw Gilbert, it’s just a bit weird,” Diana said quietly.

“No, but assuming she would automatically feel the same way sure as hell is.”

“I knew it!” Charlie yelled. “I knew you wanted her. Since you came back from supper that first day. Moody owes me five bucks. Ask her out, man, I saw her looking at you, I think she’d say yes.”

“No.”

“I made the mistake of telling him to take it slow, and he is taking me very seriously,” Diana explained.

“It’s not just that,” he admitted. “Don’t you think she is, I don’t know…”

“Super hot? Yeah," said Charlie.

“No! I mean, yes, but it’s just… the more I get to know her I don’t think I’m good enough for her,” he admitted quietly.

Charlie and Diana both laughed.

“Are you insane?” she asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s fantastic and I’m thrilled that you can see that she how amazing she is, but you’re the best person I know and you just told us you delivered a baby on a boat in a hurricane. Who do you think **is** good enough for her?”

“No one. I don’t think there is anyone good enough for her.”

“So, then she might as well settle for you since she doesn’t seem too inclined toward a life of celibacy. Do you think she’d be better off with Charlie here?”

Charlie looked at him and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Hell no,” he said definitively.

“Ouch! What the hell? You think you’re that much better than me?”

“No. I just think I’m better for Anne.”

“Sorry, Charlie, but he’s right. She’d eat you alive,” Diana concluded.

***

Anne didn’t need to use the bathroom, she just needed to remove herself from Gilbert’s presence before she made a fool of herself.

_He’s just a boy. Just a boy. Just a smart, kind, considerate, respectful, modest, baby delivering, ridiculously attractive, amazing boy. And it’s just a crush. It’ll pass._

She looked in the mirror and saw the same freckled face staring back at her, telling her she would never be good enough for someone like him.

_Good thing it’ll pass, then._

***

She returned to the table and tried to act like she wasn’t freaking out about having a giant crush on the guy she was sitting next to.

“So, Charlie, you grew up with Diana and Gilbert, then?”

“Yes, I did. John and my dad were close so we’ve always been good friends. Got even closer after he traveled for a year because then we were in the same grade.”

“But you’re a freshman here too?”

“Charlie took a gap year as well,” Gilbert explained.

“Cruise ship?” Anne asked hopefully.

“Rehab!”

“Shit dude, sorry,” she apologized.

“Don’t be. It was necessary and it worked.”

“Alcohol?” she asked.

“Pills; it wasn’t crippling, but it was becoming a problem.”

“But you’re doing better now?”

“I am. Thanks.”

“Did you want him to leave while we do your story?” Gilbert asked.

“I’m not sure. Do you think you can handle my sordid past?” she asked more confidently than she felt.

“If you don’t mind me staying, I’m sure I can handle it.”

“You may stay. I’ve learned it’s best to tell people myself anyway. Stories get corrupted in retellings.” She paused to take a drink and calm her nerves. “Just a warning: it’s not a pleasant story. I have very few happy memories of my childhood. It’s just a fact. I’m going to try something new and just tell you everything. That way you aren’t surprise or disgusted if it comes up later. I will totally understand if you don’t want to be my friend afterward, because that seems to be what happens when people learn about my past. I’m not looking for, nor do I want your pity, I just want to be a normal girl. Okay?”

“We’re not going anywhere Anne. Your past made you who you are, and we like you, as you are,” Diana reassured her. They all nodded and Gilbert bit his tongue so he wouldn’t lecture her on the fact that she was so much better than normal and then got out his phone to record her story.

“I’ll start with the easy part. I want to be a teacher because it was only because of my teachers that I survived and I think I could make a difference as a teacher. They provided me the support I wasn’t getting elsewhere. They made sure I was getting enough food, that I had proper clothes to wear in the winter and they let me come early and stay late so I had somewhere I could study in peace. Now for the shitstorm that is my life: My birthday is March 5th, 1998. I like to tell myself that I was part of a nice, loving family until mid-June that year. My parents went out on date and I guess they were walking down the road heading back to their car and they were struck and killed by a drunk driver. He, of course, walked away after ruining my life… so that’s… cool.”

“That is not cool,” Gilbert said.

“From what I’ve been told, they were fairly recent immigrants I guess, from Scotland possibly, and there were no family members around here or that could be traced down in Scotland so I was tossed into the system. No, it was not fun, and yes, it probably is as bad as you’ve heard, though I will admit some had it worse than I did, I was still verbally, physically and sexually assaulted, though I was never raped so I am thankful for that-”

“Oh my god,” Diana said and moved quickly to sit at Anne’s side and pulled her into a tight hug as Gilbert and Charlie tried to hide their reactions of sorrow and anger.

“Wow. Thank you, Diana. That reminds me: if you ever touch me and I flinch or anything, it’s not that you are doing something bad, or unwanted, it’s just that, well, I have issues.”

“Oh my god,” Diana said crying, “And I just grabbed your butt the other day like it was nothing, I am **so** sorry Anne.”

“Diana, it was fine, I knew I was safe with you and that you were the only one in the room with me. I promise, it didn’t bother me, if it did, I would have said something. It’s the more unexpected things. Like, don’t run up behind me and hug me as a surprise, because there’s about a 50/50 chance I will either beat you up or pass out in fear. I did attend therapy once I got to New London, so I’m doing better than I was. It sucks, but it’s over now. And Marilla and Matthew treated me really, really well, slowly introducing hugs and comforting touches to me. They never hurt me and their never-ending kindness and patience with me was critical in my recovery, but it was a long journey. I had a lot to recover from.

“I spent thirteen years in foster care and moved eight times. Once you’re past two, you just kind of accept that you’re going to be in the system forever. People want the baby experience so they feel like they’re closer to a biological child, I guess. I don’t know. And no one wanted a homely red head, that’s for sure. I think when people adopt a child they look for someone who they might be able to pass off as their own, but with this hair and these freckles, well, I’ve never fit in anywhere and I certainly would have been the ugly duckling of any family that took me in. That was made quite clear to me on a daily basis, but I won’t go into details. After years of praying to a god I wasn’t sure existed, eventually a bit of luck came my way and the Cuthberts took me in.”

“Holy shit,” Charlie said on a whisper. “That’s a lot of information.”

“I gave you a warning,” she smiled at him, “Next time you might want to pay attention.”

“I can’t believe Diana grabbed your butt.”

Anne and Diana rolled their eyes. Gilbert smacked the top of Charlie’s head and said, “You mentioned you got an academic scholarship to come here, but I can’t imagine that it was easy for you to keep up with school moving around so much.”

“It actually wasn’t too bad. It was all I had, so I did it well. Like I said, I had wonderful teachers and schoolwork came easily to me. My parents had life insurance that paid out when I turned eighteen. The scholarship covers most of the cost of attending school here and the insurance takes care of the rest. I didn’t really have any friends until I got to New London and even then, they were acquaintances at best so I spent my time working and studying.”

“How does someone like you not make friends?” Gilbert asked, truly not understanding the situation.

“Asks the guy who I shoved into a lamppost,” she scoffed.

“You’re nice, smart, funny, easy to talk to,” Gilbert began.

“Hot,” added Charlie.

“Charlie, enough. Pretty sure she heard you the first time,” Diana said moving back to her chair.

“What? She is. It’s not just me- that was like the fifth thing he said about her!”

Anne interrupted, “Well, thanks, but I don’t think that there was anyone at my school who would have agreed with any of those opinions and it’s no secret that I’m a bit blunt when I speak or voice my opinions.”

Gilbert looked at Diana pointedly and she read his mind and said, “Anne, those aren’t really opinions. It’s just the truth. But there’s no denying that we all went through an awkward phase and that kids can be mean. Especially when they encounter something or someone who is different. Even if they are different in the very best way. You don’t seem to give much credence to the opinions of others in your day to day life, so you should learn how to let go of those terrible ones from your past.”

“Oh!” Charlie had an idea, “I bet it was that thing!”

“What thing?”

“That thing that girls do. Where they’re bitchy to people they perceive as a threat.”

Anne laughed, “That wasn’t it. I promise. It’s not like I sought out their friendship anyway. I kept to myself. All that fake drama wasn’t for me.”

“I maintain they felt threatened,” Charlie said confidently.

“So, if you couldn’t tell by his supposed intuition and the fact that he is so quick to explain your situation, Charlie here is a psych major who despite having only taken a single class is convinced he has everything figured out,” said Gilbert.

“Should I share with Anne what I figured out about you so quickly?”

“No thanks,” he said, leaning back in his seat. “He’s probably right Anne, they were probably just intimidated by you.”

Diana laughed and Anne looked at them confused.

“Right… well everything since living with the Cuthberts has been pretty peaceful and I was so lucky to receive the scholarship I did and now I have Di, who seems to actually like me so maybe after 18 lonely years things are looking up.”

“I’d say so. You have me too,” Gilbert said.

“And me,” added Charlie.

Anne looked up and smiled genuinely, “Really?”

“Of course. I got a mild concussion from you, the least you can do is be my friend. Plus, I already promised you my unwavering friendship and undying devotion, did I not?”

“And honestly, you seem cool, chill, real. I like it.”

“I am many things, but I don’t think you’ll find that chill is one of them,” she joked.

“I just mean that you aren’t pretending to be something you aren’t. You’re just talking to us, like people. It’s so much more fun to hang out with girls who are just acting like themselves and **not** trying to flirt with Gilbert the whole time.”

Diana laughed, “Right?”

“Thanks Charlie, and Gilbert, you could have avoided the concussion had you not referred to me as a vegetable.”

“Give him a break, carrots are his very favorite vegetable and he’s never had to work this hard to get a girl’s attention before.”

“He’s never had to talk to a girl before?” Anne asked.

“No, that’s not what I said, he talks to girls all the time, they usually flock to him and are quite pushy about it.”

“Charlie,” Gilbert warned. “This is not the time.”

“Look around Anne, how many girls do you see looking at him right now?” Diana asked.

“Diana, stop.”

Anne looked around and in just a couple seconds she could see at least ten girls looking at him and then whispering with their girlfriends.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Do you want me to go?”

“No!” Gilbert practically yelled.

“Why would we want that?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know! I just don’t want to be in your way. I don’t know how to be a friend I guess, especially to guys, apparently.”

“Well a start would be staying here and just being our friend. We chose to eat with you,” Gilbert said.

“No, you didn’t, we’re working on an assignment together.”

“I **chose** to eat with you, Anne, we could have worked on the assignment any time. And Diana and Charlie **chose** to join us. We are where we want to be and with the people we want to be with.”

“Does this really happen all the time?” Anne asked Diana.

Gilbert answered, “No,” while Charlie and Diana simultaneously said, “Yes.”

“I know they aren’t looking at me but I wish they would stop.”

“They’re all just jealous of you, that’s all. Sitting here with two strapping young men,” Charlie explained and Anne laughed. “Experience leads me to believe they are trying to figure out who is with who or if we’re all just friends and they still have a chance with Gilbert.”

“Just Gilbert? Not you?”

“Historical precedence indicates that girls prefer Gilbert,” Diana added.

“It sucks, but it’s true,” Charlie admitted.

“This is so awkward,” Gilbert said as he put his head down on his arms, hiding his face.

“Sorry guys, but I have a rehearsal room calling my name. Charlie, Gilbert, always a pleasure,” she said while laughing. “Anne, I’ll see you later, babe.”

“Gilbert, you have the power to make them stop looking. You just have to answer their questions,” Charlie teased.

“That’s not fair. To anyone involved. Why don’t you do it?”

“Because it’s not me they are looking at.”

“I’m not doing it Charlie! She just said that she’s been physically and sexually assaulted, I’m not going to traumatize her further by using her to stop some prying eyes! No. It’s not worth it.”

“Anne, do you want them to stop looking?” Charlie asked.

“Yes, please.”

“Gilbert can make them stop by putting his arm around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head.”

She laughed and said, “What?! That can’t be a thing!”

“It’s weird, but it’s true. Would that be okay with you?” Charlie asked.

“Anne, they’ve been looking the entire time, it’s only bothering you now because it was pointed out to you.”

She wasn’t an idiot. She knew that was true, but now she couldn’t help but feel like she was being watched.

“Yeah, I get that Gilbert, but it’s still irritating. And honestly now I’m more curious to see this little trick in action than anything else.”

He laughed and said, “Of course you are. Tell me that you understand my intentions right now and that I’m not trying to take advantage of the situation?”

“Ah, sure.”

He leaned back, put his arm around her, pulled her into him and kissed the top of her head.

“Wow,” she sighed as she completely melted into him.

“Amazing, right?” Charlie asked.

_Sure, yeah. That’s why I said wow, not because nothing in my life has ever felt more perfect than his arm feels around me at this moment._

“Yeah, amazing,” she admitted airily. She looked around as they received a couple more stares, glares and looks of defeat and then everyone seemed to go back to their own business.

“Now they’re all going to think we’re together though, doesn’t that bother you?” Anne asked.

“Why would it bother me? I’d be lucky to have you. And it’s not like I was looking to date any of them.”

“What if you want to though?” she asked.

He laughed, “I doubt that’s going to happen, but if it does, then I’ll deal with it.”

“How did you even learn something like that?”

“Winnie the Bitch,” Charlie said.

“Dude, don’t call her that.”

“She was Gilbert. Never have I ever seen such a dolled-up piece of human garbage. Don’t defend her. You can’t will people into being decent. You tried. She didn’t deserve you.”

“No, she didn’t. And I certainly didn’t deserve her.”

“Amen. Glad you figured that out.”

“So how exactly did she figure out that little trick then?” Anne asked.

Gilbert inadvertently tightened his arm around her and she let her head relax on his shoulder. “Well, Winnie **liked** all the attention. She liked people looking at us all the time, or at least looking at her. She figured out that as soon as we did something affectionate, people would stop looking so she wouldn’t let me touch her when we went out somewhere. Which is fine, I don’t need to be all over a girl I’m dating, whatever. But when I figured out the reason why, I was pissed. I couldn’t put my arm around her, we couldn’t hold hands, hell, I was barely allowed to smile at her. And then when we were about to leave somewhere, she would get **way** too affectionate and ease all their wondering.”

“It was so bad, one time she was actually looking around the room while they were kissing to bask in the attention,” Charlie added.

“She sounds like a peach…” Anne said sarcastically. “Why did you date her?”

“It just kind of happened. We starred together in _Newsies_ , and we were practicing kissing for the show because I had never kissed anyone before and then somehow, we were dating.”

“You could have, you know, stopped dating her at any time,” Anne said.

“And how would that have gone? ‘Sorry Winnie, I don’t know how this happened, but I actually didn’t mean to start dating you. You good? Great. See you for three hours every evening for the next two months.’ And not only that, but I would have had to kiss my expectedly vindictive ex-girlfriend as we continued rehearsals and through the performances? No thanks.”

“I’m with Gilbert on this. It’s not like he was interested in anyone else anyway so why not ride it out. And if you think about it, Gilbert came out in pretty good shape: he got to date the prettiest girl **and** break up with the biggest bitch. It’d be cool if you could say you broke her heart, but that would require her to have a heart, which she clearly did not since she joyfully hopped into bed with Billy the night you broke up with her, complaining that you never put out.”

“Trust me,” Gilbert said, “ **That** was never going to happen. Nothing would have ever happened between us at all had it not been for that show.”

“I will admit, the kiss was convincing,” Charlie said.

Gilbert laughed and said, “I know.”

“How’d you pull that off?” Anne asked.

“Well, I’m just a really good actor,” he said confidently.

“You weren’t **that** good,” said Charlie.

“You’re right, but you said it, she was pretty. And she was playing a role that was the complete opposite of her actual personality. It was easy to kiss **that** girl.”

“Well,” Charlie said as he stood up, “This dinner has been a lot more interesting than I thought it would be. Anne, it was awesome to meet you and I am not simply being polite when I say I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Thanks, Charlie, it was nice to meet you as well.”

“Gilbert?” he said trying not to laugh.

“What?” Gilbert rolled his eyes, responding like he knew he was about to be scolded.

“We will be having words later,” Charlie smiled.

“Nope.”

“Yes. I’ll stop by after the game.”

“That’s really not necessary, I’ve got it sorted out.”

“I’ll see you later. Bye Anne.”

A few moments later, Gilbert got a text.

**Charlie – Mobile**

_You are in way over your head.  
I’ve never seen you act like that  
around a girl._

_Like what?_

_Like you actually care what she  
thinks._

_So?  
What’s so bad about that?_

_Nothing.  
You can probably take your arm  
off of her now. I think you’ve  
proven your point.  
To all of us._

“I’m going to get some pie; did you want some?” Gilbert offered as he removed his arm from her shoulders as smoothly as he could.

“Apple please. Thank you,” she said, and then practically whimpered in longing as he walked away from her. She got out her phone and texted Diana.

**Diana – Mobile**

_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

_LOL. How’s it going Anne?_

_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh_

_We’ll talk later._

Gilbert came back with the pie and they enjoyed their dessert together. They were quiet for a while until Gilbert said, “Anne, there’s something else I wanted to tell you.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“After my dad stopped dating Marilla, they didn’t stop being friends. When we returned after going away that year, Marilla came over and told us she was in the process of trying to adopt a child. She realized while we were gone that even more than romantic love, what she was missing most in her life was the opportunity to be a mother. She didn’t think she had it in her to care for a baby, so she requested an older child, a boy, since she was used to being around me.”

Anne was stupefied, she had assumed Gilbert would think less of her when he knew about her past, which she knew was ridiculous since he didn’t seem to judge anyone, but still, she couldn’t help herself from fearing it. She hadn’t even considered the possibility that he had known her history the whole time and didn’t care.

“She put in so much time with the application and approval process and I remember one day how disappointed she was when she was told the agency didn’t have any boys without severe behavioral concerns and considering her age and lack of experience with children they didn’t think that would have been a good situation for anyone. But a week later, I remember, it was one of the last times Marilla came over, she was so excited, Anne. She burst through the door with plum puffs-”

“Oooooh, a big day indeed!” Anne said. “She doesn’t make those often. You must have been very special to her.”

“No,” he said shaking his head. “You were.”

Anne’s breath caught in her throat.

“I wanted to tell you this story because you made it sound like the Cuthberts saved you, and from what you’ve mentioned, it sounds like they did. But you need to know that you saved them as well. Marilla burst into our house that day and said she got a call from the agency a few days prior and they said there was girl who would be perfect- a ‘wiry young chatterbox who would fill the old farmhouse with life like you wouldn’t believe.’”

“And that I did,” she laughed.

“She was so excited, Anne. There was a new spark in her, I could tell that she loved you already and you hadn’t even arrived yet. And she said Matthew was excited as well. That he had actually been singing while going about his work. She said you were going to be there in a month and she had already started with preparations. She asked me what color bedrooms the girls my age had. I had no idea. I was going to say pink, but the idea of having a pink room for anyone made me nauseous, so I picked what I would like, light-”

“Blue,” Anne finished.

“Yeah. And she said you had spent most your life in big cities, so I suggested filling the room with nature to make up for what you missed out on.”

“She went with a beach theme, not tropical, but serene. Peaceful, which was not something I had ever experienced in my bedroom before. And she gave me the room next to this amazing cherry tree that flowers in the springtime. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“And she asked me if I would have time to come over and meet you, maybe get to know you so you’d have someone your age to talk to. And I said I would, and then never followed through because I was sixteen and selfish and I thought I was too busy.”

“Oh my gosh, this is the weirdest day.”

“I’m sorry, Anne. That I didn’t…”

“Gilbert, stop. I’m not going to let you feel bad for not coming to meet some random orphan your dad’s ex-girlfriend adopted twenty miles away in the next town.”

“But maybe I could have helped you. I could have been your friend.”

“That’s possible,” she admitted. “But equally likely is the possibility that I would have pretended to be ill and not even come down to meet you.”

“Still. I’m going to feel bad about that for a long time.”

“That will be a very stupid way to spend your time. Let it go, Gilbert. I would forgive you, but there is nothing to forgive you for.”

They were quiet for a time while they ate their pie. When she finished. She put her fork down and turned back to him, her leg up on the booth seat resting against his thigh again. Anne couldn’t really figure out a concise way to say what she wanted to say so she just said, “You’re an orphan.”

He put down his fork and turned toward her, mirroring her position and said, “So are you.”

She allowed a few moments of silence to pass before continuing, “And if you’re at all like me, your type A personality that I gave you crap about developed as an attempt to gain some control in a world that didn’t seem to give a shit about you.”

“I think I’m a lot like you,” he admitted.

It was with these words that Anne finally started to feel like she belonged and she couldn’t help herself from tearing up. She had been hiding part of herself, a big part, for fear of rejection. Knowing that he knew about her past the entire time and still wanted to be around her? That meant everything.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” she apologized, “I’d like to say I’m generally not very emotional, but I think we both know that would be a lie.”

He laughed and handed her an unused napkin.

“Thanks. It’s just… I’m so used to being alone. First in the foster homes. You never wanted to get too close to people because it made losing them that much harder. And then even in New London, I had Matthew and Marilla, but no one really got it, you know? And no one could relate. No one in my school even wanted to try. They heard I was an orphan, assumed the worst things you could imagine and simply stayed away. And I know our experiences are vastly different, but they both suck. I don’t know if you’re the lucky one for at least getting some time with your father or if I’m the lucky one for not knowing what I’m missing.”

“Oh Carrots, I think we’re both unlucky here.”

“Well, misery does love company.”

“And are you miserable?”

“Decreasingly so. Day by day it seems to get better.”

“What about right now? How do you feel?”

“Hopeful,” she said quietly looking down in her lap, then paused and looked up at him. “Hopeful for the first time in a long time. You knew who I was. You knew what I was. And you didn’t run. Besides Matthew and Marilla, you are the first one to ever stay.”

“I won’t be the last. I promise. Diana and Charlie aren’t going anywhere.”

“I think you were right.”

“I usually am,” he said trying to lighten the mood. “What was I right about this time?”

“I think you and I were destined to be great friends.”

“The best?” he asked hopefully.

“Maybe someday.”

******** Back to the Bonfire********

“So I stopped by Gilbert’s room that night and pointed out to him that even I could tell this wasn’t just a crush,” Charlie concluded. “When he put his arm around her, that was it. They fell into each other like they had been waiting their whole lives to get there.”

“And meanwhile,” Diana added, “Back in our room, Anne was watching _Newsies_ , trying to figure out what kind of person the female lead was, or in other words, what kind of person Gilbert found attractive.”

“Really, Anne?” Gilbert asked.

“What? I couldn't help myself; I had to know.”

“So you sat down and watched a movie to figure out what I found attractive and just ignored the fact that I spent about 75% of my waking hours with you that week.”

“Yes. Yes I did.”

"You were right, Diana," Gilbert said. "This is so much worse than I thought."


	4. Dance Like Nobody's Watching (But Tillie Was, so Maybe Get a Room Next Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne struggles with one of her classes and Gilbert is there to help her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright friends. Sorry for the wait. But there was an election and then agony with waiting and then much needed celebration. Hopefully you understand. And then this story was going to end after the story of the waltz and well, you’ll see what happened. It didn’t, It just kept going and going. 
> 
> Note: The romance novels Tillie and Anne are talking about featuring Devonte and Colton aren’t real. If you look for them, you will not find them.
> 
> Update: As of 10:15 CST on 11/11 I went through and fixed some giant errors. Hopefully it reads a little better now and sorry to everyone who read it before I fixed it up. I'm not saying it's perfect, but that was embarrassingly bad.

“My turn!” Tillie stood and announced. “Shut your mouths and listen up because I’m about to tell you the hottest platonic story that’s ever existed.”

“What are you talking about?” Anne asked. “There’s no ‘hot’ stories about us.”

Everyone started talking at once, refuting her claim.

“Shut it!” Tillie yelled over the group. “We all know she’s wrong, so let’s just prove it with our words; she’ll love that. Do you guys remember when Anne took that ballroom dance class? She was struggling and Gilbert appeared, ever the night in shining armor with his frickin’ puppy dog eyes and that stupid smirk. You came running every time she asked!”

“Oh, he did way more than that,” Diana added.

“Well, I could hardly let her suffer through it when I had the skills to teach her.”

“Oh but of course!” Tillie said haughtily. “One mustn’t leave a damsel in distress!”

The group laughed and Anne and Gilbert both rolled their eyes.

“Ha! I did it! Another round of shots, Bash!”

Sebastian passed them out. Everyone took another shot except for Anne, Gilbert and Diana.

“What gives?” he asked them.

“Nothing, just not interested this time. I’m sure we’ll have another opportunity,” Gilbert responded and then turned to Anne as Bash went to sit down. “We need to cool it with the eye rolls or everyone is going to be plastered. Besides the shots most people are already on their second or third drink.”

“That would be their problem. Not ours,” she reassured him. “They are all responsible adults who can take care of themselves.”

Diana glared at her and asked, “Really? Look around. Do you see what is happening?” Anne looked. Moody and Cole were pouring the shots into each other’s mouths and Josie and Jane each took a shot and then split a third. Ruby took the straw from her drink, put it in the shot glass and blew a couple bubbles before slurping it up.

“Fine. They are all adults. They can do what they want. If they end up sleeping it off in the yard, so be it. I for one, fully intend on making it back to the suite we have waiting for us in town. And Gilbert knows I’ll give him hell if he isn’t there with me.”

“Please, like I need any convincing. Want to go now?” he asked impatiently.

“Eager as ever,” Diana said, “But don’t you think you should stick around for the festivities?”

Tillie’s voice brought them all back to the same conversation. “So, I didn’t know Anne very well at the time. We had only met a couple weeks before and all I knew was that she was nice and that she earned an academic scholarship. This is why I was so confused that she couldn’t see the spark between them. I couldn’t tell if she just book smart, and was so stupid otherwise that she couldn’t see what was happening, if she simply refused to see it or if she was pretending not to just to take advantage of the situation.”

“Unfortunately, I think we all know that I had no idea what was happening. Not on his end anyway. I was fully aware of my own situation. Or at least starting to come to terms with it.”

Gilbert laughed, “I’m sorry, it’s just so funny that it was like this whole process for you. It’s like you had to slowly accept some terrible fate.”

“Agreed,” said Moody, “It’s like the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.”

“First of all, the anger came before the denial. Or maybe simultaneously. Whatever. But there was no bargaining or depression, thank you very much.”

“And what the hell would you call what happened on Valentine’s Day then?” Diana yelled at her.

“That was all just acceptance.”

“Acceptance my ass. You punched a bathroom stall door.”

“Alcohol induced acceptance. Fine. So it got a little dramatic.”

“Enough- you’re getting ahead of us, Moody will tell us all about Valentine’s Day,” Cole interjected.

“Well, shit,” said Anne, taking a drink. “That sucks.”

******** Fall Semester, Freshman Year ********

Anne was standing in the middle of her room with her eyes closed trying to feel the beat of _The Blue Danube_. Diana was at class and even though what she was doing was a little embarrassing, the RA suggested everyone keep their doors open when they could to help encourage community, so she did.

 ** _1_** _2 3, **1** 2 3, **1** 2 3, **1** 2 3, **1** 2 3, _she thought, mouthing the numbers and nodding her head to further emphasize each down beat. She slowly started to move her feet and after every stumble, she reset herself to try again.

She was expecting Gilbert to arrive soon, but the freshman dorms weren’t co-ed so she was waiting for him to text her to go down to dinner and figured she’d practice while she waited. They had gotten closer over the first few weeks of school, and not just because Diana insisted they all spend as much time together as possible because she had missed him so much. It was because Gilbert’s assessment wasn’t wrong: they were incredibly similar. Besides some spirited debates, they got along exceptionally well and had developed a comfortable friendship, or so Anne told herself. _It’s normal to want to make out with your friends, right?_

She practiced for the entire song. When it finally ended eight minutes later, she still hadn’t figured it out, though she admitted to herself that it was probably because her mind kept wandering back to the boy she was trying not to think about. She was facing the window with her back to the door and didn’t notice that Gilbert arrived about a minute before the song ended, having been let into the building by someone else.

“Mother fucking shitballs on a stick,” she said in frustration as she went to her desk to pick up her phone and restart the song.

“Anne?” he said, laughing softly and finally announcing himself, “What are you doing?”

She jumped at his voice and said, “Gilbert! Hi! I, ah, well…” _Might as well just tell the truth, anything I say is going to sound ridiculous._ “I’m trying to learn how to waltz. I’m taking ballroom dance for my physical education credit. I thought it would be fun, which it kind of is, I guess, but I also thought that it would be easy, which it definitely is not. We’ve only had a few classes and I’m already behind. And as it turns out, I’m not great at being bad at things. Shocker,” she finished sarcastically.

“Yeah, I’ve gathered that,” he said with a smile, setting his bag down. “Do you want some help?”

She looked at him skeptically. “You know how to dance?”

“Yes, I do.”

 _Of course you do, because you_ _just keep getting more and more perfect,_ she thought, but she simply asked, “Why?”

“Because I’m a gentleman,” he answered, feigning offense that she had the gall to ask such a question.

She rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, sure you are.”

“Well, I try to be at least. But I learned the basics because we had a unit of it in high school. I also escorted Diana to her cotillion and we had to take more intensive lessons on a variety of dances for that. Then you mix in all the theater stuff and you have a guy who knows a variety of ballroom dances. We might as well put my knowledge to use.” He made a mental note to thank Diana and her parents for this opportunity.

“Cotillion? I didn’t know that was actually a thing. You rich people are so weird.”

“Diana’s family is rich, I’m just the boy who lived next door. And by next door, I mean like a mile down the road. Do you want my help or not?”

She looked at him skeptically.

“Come on Anne,” he said, holding his hands out with his palms up. “I’m right here, offering, and I have all the knowledge you need. Use me.”

“Well, when you put it that way, I’d be stupid to say no.”

She had always been reluctant to accept help; everyone always had an ulterior motive. But she couldn’t think of anything Gilbert could possibly gain from this situation, perhaps he really did just want to help his friend. And she was thrilled to hear that she might not fail this class after all. She neglected to think about the fact that she would quite literally be in Gilbert’s arms for the next however many minutes it took to figure out how to waltz. She didn’t want to think about that. She really did just want to figure it out so she wouldn’t embarrass herself in class. _I can handle it. It’s just tutoring. That’s all it is._

“I really appreciate you offering, hopefully I won’t waste too much of your time. I can feel the music, I get how to count and I understand the steps, I just get it all messed up when I try to do it for real.”

“You’re not wasting my time. And you’re probably just thinking about it too much.”

“Story of my life.”

He laughed, “Same. Did you want to grab dinner first or do it now? Or some other time?”

“I’m not very hungry yet so if you can wait to eat and you don’t mind, could we do it now?” she asked cautiously.

“Yeah. You don’t need to ask, Anne. I already offered. But there isn’t really enough room here,” he said, looking around the room. “Do you guys have a lounge over here somewhere?”

“Yeah. It’s actually on the way to the dining center if we take the tunnel instead of going outside. Follow me,” she explained.

“Do you mind if I just leave my stuff here and come get it after?”

“Yeah, I mean, no. That’s fine.”

She tried to lead him confidently through the dorm, but it was impossible to miss that every girl looked at him as they made their way through the building. She wondered what it was like to attract such attention. It never seemed to phase him at all and from what Diana and Charlie said, it had been like this most of his life. She wondered what he thought about in situations like this. He was behind her and she couldn’t see him but she assumed he was looking around, seeing what options he had. He would be stupid not to, because it looked like he literally had **all** the options. Anne just tried to ignore them all. And maybe she was just a bit proud to be the one he was with, even if he was just a friend. _They don’t know that; do they?_

He followed Anne through the crowded hall, down the stairs and to the lounge. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he watched her walk. He said a mental ‘thank you’ to the inventor of the cropped sweatshirt and whoever decided that leggings were pants as he failed to discreetly check out her ass. He really was a gentleman, at least as much as he could be, but he was also a twenty-year-old man who couldn’t help but appreciate perfection. _It’s not like that’s what I like best about her,_ he justified, _it’s just icing on the cake. And what a delicious cake she is._ He allowed himself to look for much longer than he should have before correcting his gaze to the back of her head.

Today her hair was pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head. He loved that she always appeared so comfortable. Not that she didn’t ever dress up, but it always looked like she dressed for herself, and not to impress anyone else. And no matter what she was wearing or what she was doing, she was always beautiful. He didn’t understand how one person could be so perfect and actually felt jealous of her on behalf of other girls for being so amazing. _Though,_ he thought, _that’s probably what every guy feels about the woman they are in love with._

The lounge was empty except for a brunette sitting in the corner reading near the door they walked in.

Anne greeted her cheerily, “Hi Tillie!”

“Hey Anne, how are you?”

“Just lamenting my inevitable failure of archaic frivolity and mating rituals. How are you?”

Gilbert burst out laughing at the description.

Tillie giggled as well though she wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about, “I’m well enough. What are you up to?”

“Hopefully learning how to waltz. Do you mind if we join you in here? Gilbert is going to try, probably in vain, to help me so I don’t fail this class and ruin my life.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” he asked.

“Not if it’s the truth,” she answered and then turned back toward Tillie, “Tillie, this is Gilbert Blythe, Gilbert, Tillie Boulter.”

“Nice to meet you, Tillie,” he said politely, shaking her hand.

“You too. You’re the one that grew up with Diana, right?”

“That’s me.”

“It’s nice to finally have a face with the name. So, you’re waltzing tonight?”

“That’s the hope,” Anne said. “I have earbuds, so there won’t be any music to bother you and we can keep our voices down.”

“Go for it! It’s a public space, I didn’t really expect it to stay quiet in here. If I needed that, I’d go to the library.”

“Just wanted to check. No one understands wanting to escape with a good book more than me. What are you reading?”

Tillie held up a romance novel, blushed and started defending her choice, “I know it’s no high-brow lit like you read but-”

“Girl, please, I read that entire series in about three days last summer. I couldn’t get enough of it.”

“Really?” Tillie asked, brightening up.

“Yes, really! Gilbert? Could you go clear a space for us, please? I’ll be right over. Thanks,” she said and then sat down across from Tillie. “Seriously it was amazing. What one is that? The first one? Are you loving it?”

“So much; it’s so good! And the plot is actually really good too! Besides the romance stuff which is, wooo!” she said and dramatically fanned herself.

Anne laughed and nodded. “Right?! Wait until book five. I was reading it alone in my room where no one could even see me and I was blushing so violently that I swear I was running a fever. I had to stick my head out the window to cool down when Marilla called me down for work and even then, I thought she would think I was up to something. Though it wouldn’t be the first time I got lost in a book.”

“I can’t believe you of all people read these,” Tillie asked in astonishment.

“What do you mean?” Anne asked, surprised.

“I mean you’re so smart and academic, you know? I’m surprised you find it worth your time.”

“Well, reading was my escape when I was growing up; it’s what kept me sane, and also what helped me keep dreaming of a better life. Reading remains an escape for me, but now it’s for enjoyment instead of out of desperation. I **do** love the classics. So much. But I also love reading about theories of how the universe came to be and who else we imagine could live in it, and I love learning about different cultures and customs and religions around the world and I love the science behind cooking and I get absolutely lost in mysteries and adventures. I love it all. There is a time and a place for every genre of book, Tillie, and increasingly,” she said lowering her voice, “For a woman devoid of a romantic relationship and short on prospects, there are **many** times and **many** places for a good romance novel.”

“You are the best, Anne.”

“Thanks, Till. I gotta know though, are you a Devonte girl or a Colton girl?”

“Devonte. One hundred percent.”

“Oh Tillie,” she said, pretending to be sad, “We were getting along so well! But alas, I’m a Colton girl.”

“Oh, I can see that,” Tillie said quietly, raising her eyebrows and nodding toward Gilbert.

Anne looked at Gilbert and thought about it. He did look like Colton. Even had a similar personality. She looked back at Tillie and quietly said, “Huh… it appears I have a ‘type.’” She grimaced slightly. “That’s interesting. Who knew? Regardless, he’s just a friend. Apparently a very good friend if he’s willing to endure this, which is going to be incredibly embarrassing. But my pride is less important than my grades, so I will endure!” she joked and headed toward Gilbert.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said as she met him on the other side of the room.

“No problem, are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. This is going to be terrible and I’m sorry.”

“No, it won’t, it’ll be fine and stop apologizing,” he said and walked up to her, standing much closer than they ever had before. “Alright, so, the guy you are dancing with really should be doing all the work and leading you where you are supposed to go. You said you have the steps down, so with guidance you won’t even need to think about it. In fact, I encourage you to let your mind wander. Give me your hand?” he asked, reaching out his left hand to her.

She offered him her left hand as well and he smacked it playfully away.

“Give me your right hand. What the hell am I supposed to do with your left hand?”

“Geez, sorry, calm down,” she said. She placed her right hand in his left and immediately felt way more than she expected. She felt so much, in fact, that her breath caught in her throat. Heat coursed through her veins, starting in her hand and spreading quickly throughout her entire body. She tried to ignore it, but even she knew this wasn’t just because she was touching an attractive guy. And it wasn’t because she wanted to kiss him every time he so much as looked at her with those stupid sparkling hazel eyes. There was something else there- something more.

“Oh no,” she whispered.

“Problem?”

 _Yes. I think I’m falling in love with you,_ she admitted to herself for the first time. _How is that possible? I’ve known him for only a month!_ “No! Sorry. Just thinking about something else. Like you suggested.”

“Maybe wait until we actually get started,” he laughed softly, hoping that he was coming across more confident and cooler than he felt, because all he was thinking at the moment was: _I’m holding her hand!_ _I’m holding her hand!_ He was fully aware that this would be the same reaction a fourteen-year-old would have on his first date, but he didn’t care. He felt more from holding Anne’s hand than he ever had from kissing Winnie.

He cleared his throat and began again, “Okay, so put your left hand on my shoulder. Perfect.” And it was. It felt wholly and completely perfect. He continued as confidently as he could, “Depending on the formality of the occasion, or what your instructor prefers, I guess, the guy’s hand will either be on your mid to upper back, supporting your arm like this,” he showed her, “but really you should be supporting your own arm, it just looks like it’s lying on mine. See?”

She took a deep breath and said, “I see.”

“Or, if it is more casual, and depending how friendly you are with your partner, he could place his hand on your hip, but personally I find that a bit lazy and then you lack the control you need to lead.”

“You don’t need to criticize an imaginary person who isn’t here, Gilbert. We all know that no one can live up to your standards.”

“Hi Pot, I’m Kettle, what a lovely shade of black you are!”

“Shut up,” she said and didn’t bother to hold back her laughter. She subconsciously relaxed into him a bit, moving closer and allowing her hand to rest on his shoulder, instead of holding it in the proper position she had learned in class.

“As I was saying… the other option is for your partner to place his hand at the small of your back, like this. Though obviously this brings you rather close together, so I suggest you make sure you’re comfortable with him. Sorry, I should have asked you first,” he said backing up, “Was that okay?”

Some lyrics from _Hamilton_ popped into her head out of nowhere: _‘_ _I don't know how to say no to this. But this situation's helpless. And her body's screaming, ‘Hell, yes_.’’

She giggled.

_I fucking giggled. What the hell is happening to me?_

Gilbert looked at her, confused and slightly embarrassed at overstepping her boundaries.

“I’m so sorry, yeah, that’s fine. I wasn’t laughing at you; my mind wandered again and some song lyrics made me laugh. I don’t care where you put your hand; you can touch me however the hell you want,” she said absentmindedly.

He raised his eyebrows and started laughing.

“Oh my god,” she said as she blushed, realizing her Freudian slip and hoping that he did not see it as such. “You know what I mean! Whatever you usually do is fine, but thanks for checking, I appreciate it.”

He tried to stop laughing and continued, “So again, if you’re getting tested on this, keep your elbow up, otherwise, for general dancing, like at a wedding or whatever, I just don’t think it’s that important. So, we’ll start with the basic steps and once you get that down I’ll lead you and we’ll start rotating and then I’ll show you an under arm turn and all that crap.”

Anne handed him one of her wireless earbuds, “Don’t worry, I just cleaned them.”

“I know. You clean them every day.”

They put in the buds and Anne pressed play. The introduction of the waltz had barely begun before he grabbed her phone out of his hand.

“Hell no. Gimme. Just because it’s a famous waltz doesn’t mean it’s the thing you should be dancing to,” he said as he typed something into her phone. He smoothly slid it to the mesh pocket on the side of her leg and they heard a banjo start playing.

As Kermit started singing _The Rainbow Connection_ , Anne laughed and asked, “Really? Kermit?”

“This is a great song. Come here,” he said as he held out his hand to receive hers. He pulled her into him, even closer than before. They started dancing and her mind went completely blank. For the first time in her life, she relinquished control, and she was surprised to find that she had absolutely no problem trusting him to lead her. It went shockingly well. Eventually they were rotating and he slowed them down to teach her the under arm turn and then they practiced it with the music.

“Carrots, I feel like I’ve been hustled,” he said quietly.

“You should be well aware by now that I would never pretend to be bad at something. I’m more of an ‘I need to be the best at everything or I’m going to start throwing punches’ type person. It may not have seemed like it, but accepting your help was a herculean task in itself and I was only capable of that because the alternative is failure. Maybe it just helps to do this with someone who knows what he’s doing.”

“Maybe, but I promise it doesn’t usually go this well. I’m not **that** good at this,” he looked at her for a moment too long and then cleared his throat, trying to make the moment a little less intense. “You should have seen me with Diana. It was a disaster. We barely got good enough to not embarrass her parents.”

“Weren’t you worried about embarrassing yourselves?”

“No. We had a blast messing it up. It’s all a show for the stuffy, rich people anyway. Diana is a good kid and conformed to please her parents, but she’s never really been part of that world at heart. She’s got too much, well, heart.”

Talking was helping prevent her from running her hand up to his neck, so she continued with something she had been curious about. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want but I can’t help but wondering: Why didn’t you and Diana ever get together? I mean, I know you both laughed it off and that you say you’re more like siblings, but it couldn’t have always been like that. And you clearly love her.”

“I do love her. A lot. And she’s beautiful and smart and she calls me on my crap and she is always, always there for me. She’s great.”

“So…”

“Honestly, I never thought about her as a possibility. She was two years younger than me, which obviously isn’t a big deal now, but I met her when I was two and she was a newborn and that two years always felt like a lot. And it was emphasized by the fact that I was always so much taller than her. Then there was the fact that she was a Barry. That was prohibitive. I know you know they have money. But that is an understatement. They are seriously loaded. Her parents were fine with her coming over and playing at the orchard, but she spent weeks convincing them to let a farmer accompany her to cotillion. They finally allowed it because they knew me so well and Diana said I was the only one she would attend with. And heaven forbid their daughter not attend cotillion, I mean, imagine the embarrassment she would have brought on the family name!” he finished, clearly mocking the event and the elite who placed value in it.

Anne laughed and added, “There is ever so much to worry about when one is so important!”

They kept dancing as Gilbert laughed and said, “Exactly. I love Diana and her parents have tolerated me, but I never wanted any part of that life. Not that a child or a teenager is thinking about marriage or anything, but I just knew I didn’t fit in there. Most of our time spent together was at my place; I rarely visited ‘The Estate,’ as her father so modestly referred to it.”

“Well, he sounds like a peach.”

“He could be worse. I’m just not a big fan. Diana likes to do stuff, not sit around and be served. She would help with the orchard, we would play video games, or she would ask me for help with things that she was curious about, but her parents weren’t around to help her with. After about 4th grade, they still had a nanny, but Diana didn’t really like going to her for things since she was busy with Minnie May, who was a baby at the time and incredibly fussy, so then we got even closer. Being apart from her for that year when I was traveling with my dad was a lot harder than I thought it would be. When I got back, I’ll admit things were awkward for a minute. I left and she was a scrawny little girl and when I came back… she wasn’t…”

Anne laughed and asked, “Saw her in a whole new light then?”

“Yes and no. I guess that was the first time I thought about her as a girl, you know? But I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend like my friends were. I just wanted things to just go back to normal, like they were before my dad was sick. He taught at the school, which was grades 7-12, so everyone knew what we were going through and the pity stares and everyone treating me as if I was going to break got old really fast. Diana never did that. She remained a constant in my life, and that’s what I needed her to be and I didn’t ever want that to change. As my dad declined, Diana was always there, forcing me to watch Disney movies with her, making cookies with me, playing games and reminding me to be a kid in the midst of all the responsibility I was taking on. And then you add in all the times we walked in on each other in the bathroom, her laughing when she saw me naked… none of that pushed us together romantically. When she shared with me that she had a crush on one guy or another, I always thought it was cute, and I was proud of her, and a bit sad that she was growing up, but I was never jealous. I think after everything we had been through together; we were just solidly in the sibling realm. I think, no, I **know** we got more from that relationship than we would have from any juvenile fling.”

“Who’s to say it would have been a fling?”

“I, ah, I guess I just know that it wouldn’t have lasted.”

“You were lucky to have each other.”

“Very,” he said. Neither of them realized that the song had repeated itself and that the second playing had ended until an ad started blasting in their ears.

“So you obviously have nothing to worry about,” he said. Unwilling to let the opportunity pass, he added, “Should we try one more with some more fancy stuff? Just to be sure that you have it down?”

“Sure! if you really don’t mind.”

“Anne. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to,” he said, and then further clarified, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”

She got her phone out, and he took it from her. She yanked it back from him, keyed in her passcode and handed it back to him so he could pick another song.

“Just. Be. Patient,” she scolded. She lightly swatted the side of his head while he searched for a song. While she stood there telling her hand to stay down and not run her fingers through his hair, he found himself hoping that he didn’t visibly lean into her touch when she smacked him.

“Trust me, I’m trying,” he muttered, referring more to their relationship than anything else. He slid it back into her pocket and _It’s You Who I Have Loved_ started playing. _Not my most subtle move,_ he admitted to himself, _but whatever._

He had never felt such an urge to kiss someone. Even before Winnie had revealed her true colors and she was a pretty and kind girl who was interested in him, he had never felt anything like this. He kept reminding himself that she didn’t invite him here to flirt; he was essentially just a tutor and it was inappropriate of him to think of it being anything other than that.

They danced for a while in silence while he tried to challenge her by adding in more turns and trying some new things. When she responded without missing a step, he couldn’t help but be impressed. “Nice work,” he whispered.

“Thanks,” she said. “This was a good choice. The song, I mean. I loved this movie when I was growing up.”

“Shrek?”

“Yeah. I actually saved up and bought the DVD and it was one of the few things I kept with me as I went from house to house.”

“What made you like it so much?”

“I…” she looked away from him and bit her lip. “It’s not important. It’s just a good movie, that’s all.”

“Liar,” he said as he guided her in another turn. “You can tell me, Anne. I’m not going anywhere.”

She looked at him like she still didn’t believe him but explained herself regardless. “I guess I found comfort in the possibility that even if I don’t like the way I look, and even if people make fun of me for looking different, there might be someone out there some day who could maybe find me beautiful.”

Gilbert stopped dancing, looked at her like she was crazy and asked, “What?”

“Look, you don’t need to say anything, I’m not fishing for compliments, I’m simply explaining why the movie resonated with me.”

“Anne, you are stunning, and I’m not just saying that to be nice. And I’m sure you remember Charlie calling you hot multiple times when he met you. Whoever told you that; they were wrong.”

“Stop. You don’t need to say that; let’s just keep practicing.”

He appeased her and they started dancing again, but the look on Gilbert’s face remained sour and Anne could tell that he was upset. The song ended and Gilbert immediately took out his phone.

“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I told you that. I shouldn’t have said anything; it’s none of your concern.”

Gilbert began rattling off messages from his phone:

_‘Blythe- who’s that redhead I saw you eating with today? She’s hot. Nice pull!’_   
_‘Hey, just wondering if you’re dating that chick I saw you with at the library. If not, can I get her number? Or at least her name?’  
‘Hey, does your girlfriend have an identical twin sister?’  
‘When you said you were hanging out with Anne, I didn’t realize THAT was Anne. Holy shit dude, what’s she doing wasting her time with you?’  
‘Gilbert Blythe! Tell that exquisite creature I saw you with that I will pay her to model for me. I have never seen anyone that dazzling in real life. I thought I was dreaming when I saw her, but then you were there so I figured probably not.’ _

He put his phone away and stood with his hands on his hips and asked, “Is it superficial that all these guys are interested in you based on looks alone? Yes. But I think it adequately proves my point. I can’t stand here and listen to you call yourself ugly. It’s simply not true. You can push me into the school’s infrastructure and yell at me all you want, but even I have limits to my patience.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Just tell me that you’re beautiful and that the ass hats who dare to say otherwise will have no effect on your self-esteem.”

She modified it and said, “You’ve shown me there are some who think I’m beautiful. But this isn’t a problem that can be solved that easily.”

Gilbert sighed and rubbed his faced with his hands in frustration, “Of course it isn’t. I’m sorry. I was just frustrated; I shouldn’t be telling you what to think.”

“No, thank you. I didn’t mind. This time,” she said in a falsely threatening tone, trying to move past the awkward conversation. “It was nice of you to say.”

“What can I say, I’m a nice guy. Oh, and don’t worry, I made it clear that we are not dating so you have all sorts of options if you’re interested. That last one though, he wouldn’t want to date you, but you should definitely model for him if you’re looking for an easy way to make some money.”

“Maybe someday. You ready to eat? Diana should be done with her class by now so we can meet up with her too.”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

They put the furniture back in place and on their way out of the room, Anne invited Tillie to join them for dinner as well.

“No thanks, I’m going to meet up with Josie later. Anne, can I talk to you for just a second?”

“I’ll wait for you in the hall,” Gilbert said and left the room.

“Why is it exactly that you need romance novels? Did you see him look at you?”

“It’s nothing Tillie, really.”

“I’m going to send you the video I took of you dancing.”

“You took a video of us? Why?”

“Because watching you two together was better than reading this book. **Way** better.”

“He was just teaching me how to dance and that book is straight up pornography. How could this possibly be better?”

Tillie looked up at Anne, stared directly into her eyes and said, “Because it was real.”

******** Back to the Bonfire********

“I still have that video,” Tillie said. “I watch it whenever I need reminding to not settle for someone just because they’ve shown a slight interested in me. ‘Find a man that looks at you the way Gilbert looks at Anne.’ That’s what I always say.”

“I still have it too,” Anne admitted. “After dinner that night I went back to my room and watched it. It felt totally disassociated with our relationship. Like I could see it, and I saw love between the two people, but I couldn’t connect it to us. I had only just admitted to myself that I was falling in love with him, but with that came the ardent belief that he would only ever be my friend, so in an effort to come to terms with that, I think I was blind to everything else that he did.”

“Yeah, we’re going to need to see that video,” Charlie said.

They gathered in two groups, one around Anne and one around Tillie and they watched the dance on their phones.

“Damn, Anne, look at your ass,” Cole said.

“Right?!” Gilbert responded and Anne laughed.

“It’s not the worst ass, I’ll give you that,” she admitted.

“So, you’re telling me that you didn’t think he was interested in you? Even after all this? Which if I can be perfectly honest, can only be considered foreplay,” Josie said, “Some seriously hot will they or won’t they, it’s only a matter of time action.”

“What can I say, I am **very** stubborn.”

“And blind,” Jane added. “So, he’s always looked at you like that? Couldn’t you see that it was different that how he looks at literally everyone else?”

“I was used to being looked at as an oddity, Jane, plenty of people looked at me differently than they looked at other people. It’s just that Gilbert’s gaze was never malicious.”

“Yeah, but he’s looking at you like you’re lunch.”

“And I was very, **very** hungry,” Gilbert admitted.

“We could have eaten beforehand!”

“Hungry for **you**!” Diana and Jerry yelled at the same time. Diana continued, “Catch up, Anne!”

“That must be where you said you didn’t think you were pretty. Gilbert, you look like you’re going to cry,” Jerry observed.

“Or punch something, look how he clenched his fist on her back,” Moody added.

“Moody, you need to learn how to dance,” Ruby said.

“That wasn’t everything though,” Diana said. “There was more.”

******** Fall Semester, Freshman Year ********

Tillie’s words shook Anne and the short walk to the dining center was a little awkward for her. She was thankful that Gilbert had called Diana as they were walking to ask her to join them, providing her time to think. Tillie had said it was real. Sure it was real, real in the fact that they were actual real live people. But beyond that? _So I’m falling in love with him. That doesn’t mean that he will ever be interested and I’m still pretty sure that it will pass. He was just there helping me. Nothing more than that._

“So what were you two up to?” Diana asked as they all settled in at a table.

“Gilbert was teaching me how to waltz for class,” she answered as casually as possible.

“How’d it go?” Diana asked with a smirk.

“Well, she’s better than you,” Gilbert teased.

“Come on, I wasn’t **that** bad. And you’ve probably improved over the years. Or maybe you just finally found the right partner.”

Anne was hardly listening. She didn’t want to talk about dancing. It was too much, so she spat out the first thing that came to mind.

“Did you really see Gilbert naked and laugh at him?”

Diana started laughing, “Yeah. That happened. I was thirteen. What would you expect? How did that come up?”

“I was asking him why you two never got together.”

“And that’s the reason you gave her?” she asked Gilbert through her laughter.

“No. That was just part of my multi-faceted speech that essentially said that I love you and that you’re beautiful, but that you are my family.”

“So, what’s the deal from your perspective? You say he’s the best person you know and you’ve called him hot on more than one occasion. And I can tell that you love him.”

“I **do** love him. And he **is** hot. That’s just a fact,” she said as she winked at Gilbert.

“Oh my god Di, stop. You know I hate that,” he laughed.

“Yeah, you really seem torn up about it,” Anne sarcastically pointed out.

“None of that means that we’re meant to be together though. Not like that anyway.”

“Care to elaborate? Sorry, I’m just not getting it. You two could be the picture-perfect couple that comes in a store-bought frame. You get along so well and you understand each other implicitly. You’d just need a golden retriever and you’d be all set.”

Diana thought about it for a minute and said, “I guess he’s always been more of a role model to me than anything else.”

“Well that’s frightening,” Gilbert admitted, slightly surprised at her response.

“My parents weren’t around much, Anne. They aren’t bad people, but they’re busy. When I was four, apparently my nanny asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said, very proudly, that I wanted to be Gilbert Blythe. His dad took us trick-or-treating together that year, well, he always took us, but that year Gil was an apple tree and I was him. He even carried me when we were at each door so it would look like I was climbing and picking apples.”

“Oh my god that’s the most adorable thing that’s ever happened,” Anne said on a whisper.

Diana laughed, “Don’t worry. We have pictures. He was my hero, Anne; he helped me and taught me things. I know I mentioned skipping rocks and spitting seeds, but it was so much more than that. He taught me to read, to change a tire, to fix things with duct tape- his house, not mine, obviously. He taught me how to work with my hands, to plant a garden, to saw wood. He was the reason I passed geometry, he saved me from dancing with a stranger at cotillion, he sat with me when I wanted to go to church but my parents were too busy. Hell, he’s the one that got me interested in playing piano. My parents forced lessons on me, of course, but Gilbert made it cool and fun. He showed me how music can soothe the soul; how it’s a language all its own.”

“You play the piano?” she asked him.

“A bit.”

Diana scoffed, “Yeah ‘a bit.’ Gilbert, just admit that you’re good at it. It’s not going to kill you.”

“Shut up.”

“He plays a lot of things, Anne. He has some basic skills on the guitar, drums and saxophone, but he’s actually really good at piano. Not as good as me, but good enough,” she smirked.

“Shit. You even taught her that smirk!” Anne

“Yes, he did,” she laughed. “And I’m pretty sure I got my sense of humor from him too. We spent so much time together, Anne, but there was never that romantic spark. Plus, he always seemed so much older than me and we had so much history together. I got my first period at his house, not only that, but he’s the one who pointed it out to me. Yeah, it was awful. I was so embarrassed, but he just handled it in stride, explained to me why it wasn’t embarrassing and he just helped me deal with it and then brushed it off.

“I’ll admit that when he got back from travelling with his dad, there was like a split second when I thought ‘Holy hell, look at him!’ but I ran to hug him and it just felt like home. It felt like how I wish it felt when I hugged my parents, or even Minnie May. And yes, Gilbert, I know that the sudden appearance of my boobs threw you off for a hot minute, but we got past it pretty quick.

“I saw him naked after we were picking apples and a storm came up and, full disclosure, he was wearing underwear, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal, it was just a lot more of him than I had ever seen before. We went to his house and he was going to lend me some clothes but there was a miscommunication. I thought he told me to come into his room; he did not. He was so skinny, that’s why I laughed. You couldn’t really tell when he was dressed and it surprised me. He had just grown like half a foot and he hadn’t filled out yet. Dude looked like a skeleton. Then you add on that he was falling over trying to put his pants on as quickly as possible and it was like watching a cartoon.

“From an outsider’s perspective it probably always looked like we were moments away from being together, but that specific attraction just wasn’t ever there. And even if it were to ever feel like it could be more, the relationship we had was too important to risk messing it all up on a whim. He was, he **is** , my family. Like a brother-uncle-fairy godmother type thing.”

“Thanks for that… I guess. And I didn’t date much, but Diana certainly wasn’t ever alone unless she chose to be.”

“Are you saying you didn’t choose to be alone? Gilbert, every other girl at that school wanted you.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” he clarified.

“So it never even came up? Like, you never even kissed when playing truth or dare or anything?”

They both scrunched up their noses at the thought and shook their heads.

“Look,” Diana explained, “I know it’s not technically incest, but it certainly isn’t appealing, sorry Gil.”

“Please don’t apologize, but I will admit I’d rather kiss you than Winnie, so that’s something.”

“Ooh! And I’d rather kiss you than Billy! There you have it, Anne, if it came down to it, we aren’t each other’s last choice.”

***

They walked back to Anne and Diana’s room together so Gilbert could get his bag. He said good night, made sure that Anne was the last thing he saw before leaving and closed the door behind him.

“What was that all about, Anne?”

“What?”

“Why did you want to know why we weren’t together?”

“You’re both just so perfect. I didn’t get it.”

“And why does it matter?”

“Mostly because I didn’t want to talk about us dancing together and needed a distraction,” she admitted.

“You should ask him out.”

“What?!” Anne yelled, “No. Absolutely not.”

“Why not? You’re clearly interested.”

“Hypothetically, if I were interested, that doesn’t mean he would ever be.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you spend so much time together just because neither of you has anything better to do.”

“None of it matters, Di. Any hypothetical attraction will pass, I’m sure.”

“Anne, this is Gilbert Blythe we’re talking about. Why would you want it to?”

“You’re right. It’s super fun to pine after perfection when on my best day I’m a solid seven not even deserving of a second glance by someone like him.”

Diana glared at her, “If you ever reduce everything you are to a number again I will drag Gilbert over here and make him tell you in his own words all the ways he considers you perfection. Do not **ever** do that again.” For a minute, Diana was afraid she had said to much, but as expected, the look on Anne’s face indicated she didn’t believe a word she had just said.

Anne opened her closet and started changing. “Well, that’s going to be awkward watching him stand in front of me with absolutely nothing to say.”

***

Three weeks later, they were back in the lounge since Anne apparently couldn’t figure out the cha-cha. They kind of stormed into the room, each of them in a bad mood. Anne was frustrated by her lack of dancing skills and had woken up with cramps. Gilbert was frustrated because this was one of two nights each week he could count on seeing Anne, and his lab had gone long, cutting into the time he’d be able to spend with her.

“Tillie, hi! Do you always read in here?” Anne asked politely as Gilbert went over to rearrange the furniture again.

“Nope, just on Thursdays when my roommate is watching some shit reality show. More dance practice I take it?”

“Yep. The fucking cha-cha.”

Tillie burst out laughing, “So, I totally understand what you mean but it’s so much funnier in my head when I ignore that. George Bernard Shaw comes to mind.”

“Really?”

“He said ‘Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.’ Based on how you two stared at each other last time and the fact that even sweet little Ruby watched the video and said, ‘Just do it already!’ I’d say, the fucking cha-cha seems pretty damn appropriate.”

“Well thank you for making this even more awkward than it already was. I appreciate that,” she said sarcastically as she went over to Gilbert.

“Alright, fix me Gilbert.”

“So, cha-cha?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have the basic steps or do you need to review?”

“Review please. I know the really basic one, but I get thrown off when I’m supposed to move to the side and I can’t make sense of that spin out thing.”

Gilbert stood next to and slightly in front of her as they reviewed the steps. Tillie watched Anne bite her lip as she watched Gilbert’s ass the entire time. Tillie then texted Diana who appeared four minutes later with a book to pretend to read.

Being near Anne always made everything so much better for Gilbert. The stress of the day melted away in her presence and was replaced with warmth and joy. He wondered if this counted as using someone, but the smile he saw on her face told him whatever he was getting out of the relationship was granted freely.

He turned toward her and took her hand in his, relieved at the comfort it brought to him and then placed his hand on her upper back.

“No lower back this time?” she asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

“My hand on your lower back would hinder your ability to shake your ass properly.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a cha-cha, Carrots. You need to move your ass if you’re going to do this right.”

“What ass?” she said mostly to herself.

“Okay, you know there’s nothing I can say in response to that right? It’s either I compliment you and then you know I’ve been looking at your ass or I say something that indicates your ass may not be ideal, but it’s fine enough, and then you know I’ve been looking at your ass **and** I’ve insulted you.”

“So, either way you’ve been looking at my ass,” Anne stated as confidently as she could and she swore she saw the slightest blush on his cheeks.

“So, no I will not be keeping my hand on your lower back for this one,” he said, avoiding the accusation.

They practiced a bit without music and it only took them a few minutes to fall into a rhythm together. Like last time, Gilbert took Anne’s phone, and soon _Grace Kelly_ by Mika was filling their ears.

“This is not what I was expecting.”

“You should probably just go ahead and get used to that with me,” he smirked as he took her hand in his and placed his other one on her upper back and in doing so scooped hers up into the proper place.

“Wow. Okay. That was smooth.”

“Let’s do this,” he whispered, and she was surprised she didn’t melt.

He led her and again, and they fit together perfectly. Diana and Tillie watched with their mouths open as the pair glided around the room. Anne messed up once in a while, but Gilbert guided her back into step as they both laughed off her mistakes that inevitably just brought their bodies closer together. They were very clearly enjoying themselves.

“I should’ve brought a snack,” Diana whispered to Tillie who nodded in agreement.

After a couple minutes, Diana asked, “Is this how it was last time?”

“Kind of, but I think they had some sort of argument before. This time, they both showed up all crabby and it looks like they’ve cheered each other up.”

“You think? They are so close together now that they may as well just take their clothes off and get it done with.”

“Right?!” Tillie accidentally yelled, drawing Anne and Gilbert’s attention. “Sorry!” she apologized.

“Don’t worry about it, I think I have it now,” Anne said, slightly out of breath. “Thanks, Gilbert.”

“Anytime,” he said quietly with a smile. “That was fun.”

“It was. I, uh,” she stammered, “I guess we should move the furniture back?”

“Yeah, prob-”

“Gilbert Blythe get your ass over here!” Diana yelled.

He apologized to Anne and sulked over to Diana like a toddler who knew he did something wrong. He followed her out of the room and said, “Yes, Princess?”

“Oh no, don’t you dare ‘Princess’ me. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Teaching Anne how to cha-cha.”

“Can’t you see that your feelings are reciprocated? Are you that blind? Just ask her out and get it done with!”

“We were just dancing. It’s the cha-cha, I’m sure she just got caught up in the moment.”

“The stress from watching you two is killing me, Gilbert. Fix it.”

“Diana, I love you, but you have no say in what I do here; you’re not part of this relationship.”

“Neither. Are. You. Fix it!” she yelled and she walked away.

***

Anne handled the foxtrot and rumba well enough with her partner in class and while she struggled with the tango she sure as hell wasn’t going to ask for Gilbert’s help with that one no matter how much she wanted to. After the trance they fell into with the cha-cha she knew she would end up doing something regrettable if he taught her how to tango. She only asked for his help with dancing one more time, late in November.

Gilbert was climbing into bed and checking his notifications one last time when he got a text from Anne.

**FW – Mobile**

_Wanna swing?_

_Can I get some context here?  
I mean, I’m not saying no.  
I just want to know what I’m  
getting into._

_Get your mind out of the gutter.  
DANCE.  
Can you teach me to swing dance?_

_No._

_No?_

_I don’t know how._

_Noooooooooooooooooo!_

_Sorry. We could try to watch  
some YouTube videos and  
figure it out._

_I did that. They all suck.  
Ugh.  
Now I’m going to have to go to  
the extra practice session on Saturday._

_What’s so bad about that?_

_It’s just the same teacher saying the  
same thing. If I couldn’t get it the other  
three times, why would a fourth  
suddenly make a difference?_

_Because I’ll go with you._

_You serious right now?_

_No I’m lying.  
Of course I’m serious.  
Why else would I offer?_

_You don’t need to go to Avonlea  
this weekend?_

_No. The guys and I need to be at a  
party for a bit on Friday. _

_It’s at 9AM, Gil. You’re going to  
be hung over._

_No I won’t._

_Yes you will!_

_Nuh-uh._

_Ya-huh!_

_Wow, this conversation devolved  
quickly. I’m just going to a party  
for like two hours. I don’t even  
plan on drinking. And even if I do,  
that doesn’t mean I’ll be hungover.  
Do you want me to come or not?_

_Yes please._

_THEN STOP ARGUING._

_But it’s so much fun._

_And here I thought enjoyment of  
our arguments was one-sided.  
What a fool I’ve been.  
I think this means I’m going to  
stop letting you win._

_If you ever let me win at anything  
I will pound you into the ground._

It took everything in him to not ask if that was a promise and then devise a way for her to deliver.

_Wanna come to the party?_

_Is it rude to say no?  
I assume it’s a frat party.  
That’s not really my thing._

_And you think it’s mine?_

_Then why are you going?_

_They asked us to play._

_Play what?_

Anne picked up her phone as soon as it rang.

“What?”

“Do you not pay attention when I talk, Carrots? I told you we sort of accidentally formed a band.”

“Yeah, sorry, I totally thought that was a joke…”

“Unfortunately, it isn’t. So, what do you say? Wanna come watch us embarrass ourselves?”

“Well, when you put it that way, hell yes I do. I’m going to need to bring someone though. Where is it?”

“I don’t even know. I’ll get back to you.”

***

The party was at some generic white monstrosity on the edge of campus. Diana was busy so Anne asked if Tillie wanted to go with her and she was so happy that she agreed. Tillie was the kind of person who commanded a room and didn’t really give a shit what anyone thought of her, and that’s the confidence Anne needed if she was going into a frat party.

The guys were supposed to start playing around ten. Anne didn’t want to be there a minute longer than necessary and figured they wouldn’t start on time so they got there at 10:15 and they were still setting up. Charlie was playing drums, Moody was playing guitar and some guy who must have been Jerry was playing bass. She didn’t see Gilbert right away, but there was a keyboard and another guitar on a stand without a person next to them, so she figured that was for him.

“Goodness, they have like, real instruments and everything,” Anne said in wonder.

“Yeah? What did you expect?”

“I had zero expectations. Gilbert said this was kind of an accident that evolved from Karaoke. I thought maybe they’d just be singing along with some tracks.”

They walked around and were relieved to find that it wasn’t all that crazy. Sure, it was loud and people were drunk, but as far as they could tell there was no one jumping off of the decks or hooking up on the pool table like Anne had seen in movies, so it really wasn’t all that bad. They thought the building was a really large house, but it was more like a really small dorm with a few large gathering rooms in the middle of it. The band was setting up in the largest room and they found refreshments and food in the one adjacent to it. Anne reached for an empty cup to get some punch and Tillie swatted her hand away from it and handed her a can of beer.

“I don’t really like beer,” Anne said.

Tillie exchanged it for a hard cider and said, “Well, I don’t really like my friends drinking things they don’t know the contents of, so you’re going to have to deal with it.”

“Right. Of course. Thanks, Till.”

They walked around for a few more minutes and were please to find that the building was clean, well, clean-ish and that people were really nice. Most people said ‘hi’ and some even asked if they needed anything they weren’t finding. They heard the band start playing in the next room. As soon as they heard singing, Anne’s eyebrows shot up on her forehead. She grabbed Tillie’s wrist and pulled her into the main room, where they both stared at Gilbert singing on a tiny stage. Anne’s jaw hit the floor. Or at least she was certain it would have had it not been attached.

“What the actual fuck.”

“Wow,” Tillie said, “They’re really good!”

“I need another drink,” Anne said.

“You have one in your hand.” Tillie watched Anne as she downed the drink.

“This one is gone.”

“Anne, I don’t think drinking is going to help you. Just hang out and enjoy the music. Isn’t he your friend?”

“Exactly. He’s my friend. I need another drink so I don’t do something stupid **with my friend** ,” she said as she walked away.

“That’s not how it works!” Tillie yelled as she chased after her. Anne didn’t stop until she had another drink in her hand. “Anne, stop. What is going on?”

“Have you ever had an unrequited crush?”

“Obviously, who hasn’t?”

“Probably Gilbert Blythe,” she said. Then she asked Tillie, “Ever had an unrequited crush on the most amazing person in the world who literally seems to be perfect in every way? I keep waiting for him to do something human. To be just a normal person with a flaw. Just one, that’s all I’m looking for. If there was just one thing about him that wasn’t perfect, he might at least be approachable, but everything he does, every single day, the more and more I get to know him, it’s like the universe is laughing at me, ‘Oh you thought he couldn’t get better? Challenge accepted. Suck it, Anne. Don’t think for a minute that you are good enough for him.’”

“It’s not my place to assume, but I think he likes you, Anne. I’ve seen him look at you and I’ve seen you two together. It’s real. I promise. The connection between you is real. And I think there is real love between you as well, or at least there could be.”

Anne led her back to the room where they were playing.

“I don’t see how there possibly could be. Look at him. Look how the girls are quite literally swooning in front of him. He could take his pick from the whole bunch.”

“Or he could pick the girl he already spends a lot of time with who is smart and funny and beautiful and who actually knows him. Is he hot? Yes. Can he sing? Yes. But that’s all these girls know about him. And from what I’ve seen, he’s not attracted to the girls who just sit there batting their eyes at him.”

They stood there watching the band for a few minutes. Anne finished her second drink and then went to get another.

“Anne, how much experience do you have drinking?” Tillie asked, stopping her from getting another drink.

“Not enough.”

“Come on, let’s just go dance for a bit. You are so tiny, you can’t drink that much that fast. Let’s give your body a chance to catch up.”

They had a wonderful time dancing as Tillie watched the alcohol take hold of the tiny girl in front of her. After five or six songs Anne yelled out, “This is my favorite song!”

“What a surprise,” Tillie said sarcastically as the band began playing Quietdrive’s cover of _Time After Time._ Gilbert played guitar for this song and sang lead, as he had been doing all night. She would be lying if she said didn’t see the appeal of Gilbert Blythe. Anne grabbed Tillie’s hands and they danced together, dramatically singing along as Tillie watched Gilbert watch Anne with the dopiest smile she had ever seen. Tillie wanted Anne to see it, so for the last refrain Tillie spun her to face the band as Gilbert sang directly to her:

 _If you're lost, you can look and you will find me_ _, time after time.  
If you fall, I will catch you; I'll always be waiting, time after time.  
Time after time.  
Time after time._

The effort was lost on Anne, who was too drunk and stubborn to believe anything she was seeing and Tillie groaned in exasperation.

As Gilbert finished the song, he realized something. _I’ll always be waiting._ He thought that would upset him, but he smiled at the realization, because he was fine with it. He didn’t want anyone else and he would wait for as long as it took. And she would be worth it, if and when she felt the same. Until then, he would be there, because her friendship had become vitally important to him.

After a few more songs, and another drink for Anne, the entire band came up to Anne and Tillie.

“You guys played my favorite song!” Anne yelled as she pulled them all into a hug that lasted too long for sixty percent of the participants. “That was so nice of you! I can’t believe it!”

“Anne is very drunk,” Tillie explained quietly.

“Everyone, this is Tillie, my Boulter. Tha’s Moody, Charlie and probably Jerry.”

“Jerry, this is Anne. Everyone, this is Tillie **Boulter** , Anne’s **friend**.”

“Ma belle Anne, c'est un plaisir absolu de rencontrer le plus grand amour de Gilbert.”  
(Beautiful Anne, it is an absolute pleasure to meet Gilbert’s greatest love.)

Jerry had a habit of speaking French to hit on women. Anne giggled and Gilbert, unable to understand French, quietly warned, “No dude, not her.”

Tillie burst out laughing and responded, “I knew it!”

“You speak French?” Jerry asked, surprised.

“I understand it and I can read it; speaking it is a struggle. But I thank you for putting my mind at rest with that one. You guys sounded great! Anne said that you accidentally formed the band and I find it kind of hard to believe.”

“Thanks,” Charlie said. "We were at a party a while back and the people who were supposed to play got into a fight so we looked up some songs on our phones and just kind of started playing. It was fun so we ran with it. Did you guys enjoy yourselves?”

“We had a lot of fun. But for some reason,” she said, raising her eyebrows at Jerry who nodded in understanding, “Anne drank a lot of cider and apparently hasn’t ever really been drunk before.”

“Well, this could get interesting,” said Moody.

“No need for that. Are you guys ready to go?” Gilbert asked. “I can walk you back. Or if you want to stay, one of these idiots can walk you back later, they’re good guys, I promise. It’s just that Anne looks like she is going to tip over.”

Hoping that in her drunken state Anne would gain the courage to confess her feelings for Gilbert, Tillie wanted to give them some time alone and said, “I’d like to stay sans baby-sitting duty, just for a bit.”

After Gilbert and Anne left, Tillie looked at Charlie and said, “You. Charlie.”

Charlie turned toward her as Moody and Jerry fell into their own conversation. “Yes?”

“You’re a good guy?”

“Gilbert’s word is usually reliable.”

“Is it this time?”

“I’m good enough, I’m no Saint Blythe, but I would never take advantage of a girl, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Would you kiss her if she indicated she were interested?”

“Theoretically speaking? Yes, I think I would.”

“Theoretically speaking do you want to grab a drink with me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Charlie smiled, eager to oblige.

***

Gilbert walked with his arm around Anne and she had hers around his waist. It wasn’t romantic. It was absolutely necessary to keep her in an upright position.

“Anne, why did you drink so much?” he asked her as they walked back to her room. He was a little disappointed. He was hoping they could hang out and talk, maybe even dance at the party, but he was lucky he was getting coherent sentences out of her.

“I find myself caught somewhere between confusion, denial, acceptance and existential crisis.”

“Just another day then?” he teased.

“Just another day,” she said quietly. “Are you good at everything?”

“What?” he laughed.

“Are you naturally good at everything?”

“Um, no?”

“I keep waiting for you to prove that you’re human. To show me just one thing that you’re bad at. Something to make you just a little less than perfect. Waiting to see something that doesn’t come as naturally to you as breathing.”

“Anne, I’m not sure that I’m naturally good at anything except for having good work ethic. I’m not stupid, but I study all the time. That’s why I do well in school. I get there because I work. Hard. I can play piano and guitar because I took years of lessons and played along with hours upon hours of videos online. I can sing because I was in choir and I was taught how to do so properly and I practiced because I wanted to do theater.”

“What about being so nice and well mannered?”

“The alternative was not acceptable at my house, and even less so when Marilla came along. What about you? You seem great at everything, what’s your excuse?”

She couldn’t help herself and started cackling, “You can’t be serious! All I have is school! And I’m only good at that because it was my only way out!”

She was laughing so hard that she barely heard him when he said, “You really have no idea how amazing you are, do you?”

“What?” she asked. And then she threw up on him.

***

They got to the building about five minutes later. Anne’s card was in her back pocket and Gilbert couldn’t help but laugh when he had to try to position her butt at the keypad so they could get into the building. They got into her room and saw that Diana was already sleeping. He turned on the light by Anne’s bed so they wouldn’t wake her up.

Anne went to sit down but before she could, Gilbert said, “Anne, go brush your teeth or you’re going to get sick again when you wake up.”

She heeded his words and stumbled to the bathroom. When she returned, she found that he put out some crackers and had run to the vending machine to get her a Gatorade.

“Thanks, Gil,” she said, eating the crackers. She was about to lay down and Gilbert stopped her again, “No, no, no, your shirt is dirty, take it off.”

“ **You** take it off. No. Sorry. You’re right I should do it.” She removed her sweater, revealing a tank top underneath then stood up to get some shorts to wear to bed. He turned his back to let her change. As she walked back to bed, she removed her bra from under her shirt as he watched in wonder.

“Can you hand me my phone? I need to set an alarm for that stupid class.”

“What time is it and where?”

“It’s at nine in the basement of the union. In that old fitness studio.”

“Here, I’ll set it for you,” he said, taking her phone. He turned off the alarm, set it on the nightstand and put a blanket on top of her. “Good night, Carrots, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks Gilbert. I owe you. And sorry I threw up on you, please don’t be too mad at me.”

“I’m not mad, Anne. Sleep well.”

She fell asleep immediately. He picked up her sweater and bra and put them in her laundry basket, then found her trash bin and moved it near the bed. He sat down on the edge of her bed to gather his thoughts for a minute. He was fine waiting for her. Really. He just hoped it wouldn’t be for too long; he was so excited to be with her. He looked at her and moved the hair off of her face, tucking it behind her ear and then took her hand in his, squeezed it and kissed it before getting up.

“I saw that,” Diana said accusingly.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“Come here,” she said, moving over on her bed.

Gilbert went over and laid down on his back next to her as he said, “We fit a lot better like this ten years ago.”

She laughed, “That’s true, but not much else has changed since then.”

“You’re going to make fun of me now, aren’t you?”

“All I’m saying is that at least when you were in love with Ariel, she never threw up on you. Are you sure you’ve picked the right quirky redhead?”

He laughed softly and said, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. She’s the one.”

“How do you know?” she asked seriously. “How do you know when you find the one?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. It was like the first time I saw her, there was something pulling me toward her and everything in me told me to let it.”

“And then she yelled at you and gave you a concussion and it was all over?”

“Exactly. And every time I’m with her, it’s like I’m filled with life. Even if I’m already having a great day, I’ll spend time with her and somehow it gets even better. And it’s never enough.”

“I wonder if I’ll ever find someone to concuss.”

“I’m sure you will. And I’ll be there to warn the poor bastard that he’s in over his head.”

***

Anne woke up well rested and surprised that she didn’t feel terrible, since she likely only got five hours of sleep. She reached for her phone and screamed when she saw the time.

“Good afternoon, beautiful,” Diana said from her desk. “Gilbert went to your class for you. He said to call him when you’re ready to learn how to swing dance and to not bother arguing with him about turning off your alarm because he’s not going to apologize for it.”

“Why would he do that?”

It was times like this that she wanted to throttle herself for her loyalty to Gilbert regarding not saying anything about his feelings for Anne.

“I don’t know Anne, why do you think?”

“Pity for the idiot who doesn’t know how to drink?"

“Yeah,” she scoffed, “I’m sure that’s it.”

******** Back to the Bonfire********

“Can’t we focus on the fact that Tillie and Charlie made out and didn’t say anything about it for four years?” Anne asked.

“No,” Jane said. “Charlie and Tillie used to make out with everyone. I think it’d be more surprising if they didn’t.”

“Sorry, Anne,” Sebastian apologized. “I think we’re all going to stay focused on the main point of the evening: You two are infuriating, stubborn, blind fools.”


	5. The Antithesis of Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day, Freshman Year, brought to us by Moody Spurgeon.

“This is a lot more embarrassing than I thought it would be,” admitted Anne. “And we’re only three stories in. I’d love to say it can’t get worse, but we all know that’s not true. It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.”

“At least we know that we eventually figured it out, right? Even if we made fools of ourselves, we got what we wanted in the end. And yeah, maybe it was painful for people to watch, and it was painful for us at times too, but it’s not like anyone died.”

“That’s a pretty low bar, Gil.”

“Well, this is a pretty ridiculous story, Anne.”

“You think tonight will get everyone the closure they need? Maybe makeup for all the crap we put them through. Just a little bit?”

“I guess we’ll find out. Who’s next, Bash?” Gilbert asked.

“That would be Mr. Spurgeon bringing us the story of Val-”

“Valentine’s Day, freshman year,” Anne finished for him. “AKA the day I confessed my love for Gilbert to Diana.”

“And those three old bitties in the bathroom at Bruno’s,” added Diana.

“And the bartender!” remembered Anne.

Gilbert laughed, “And then Bessie came along and-”

“Dude! Shut up! You’re giving it all away!” scolded Moody.

******** Valentine’s Day, Freshman Year********

Diana got back from her last class of the day at 4:55. Anne was working on a paper while listening to some music.

“And how was your Valentine’s Day?” Diana greeted her cheerily.

Anne slammed her computer shut. “My day was fine. But this holiday is the worst fucking holiday in the world. And it’s not because I’m single. It’s the entire idea of it. You should show your loved ones that you adore them every day, or at least most days. Buying chocolate and flowers and spending a lot on a dinner out at a stupidly crowded restaurant where they jack up the prices for one day just because they can? How on earth is that a demonstration of love? The whole day is nothing but a societal obligation to compete with others to prove you love your significant other the most by spending the most money. What a load of shit!”

“Anne, relax. I agree with you. Stop yelling at me,” Diana said calmly.

“Sorry. If I ever get a boyfriend and he does something big on Valentine’s Day I… ugh, I don’t even know, it’s such an outlandish hypothetical I can’t even think through it properly. Hopefully we’ll be on the same page, that’s all I’m saying.”

Diana smiled and eased into her proposition, “Speaking of being on the same page… I was just talking to Gilbert and we came up with a plan. We’re going to spend the evening with him and Moody.”

“Why?” Anne asked nervously.

“Well, we’re all single. Why not be single together and hang out and watch a movie? And it won’t be a romantic one. I promise. They even said you can pick the movie if you want to.”

“I guess that works; as long as it won’t be like when we all hung out before Christmas and you kept trying to get me and Gilbert under the mistletoe together.”

“Of course it won’t be like that! There’s no mistletoe at Valentine’s Day. Silly girl.”

Anne rolled her eyes. “So you have no hidden motive for making me hang out with him on this ridiculous excuse for a holiday? No nefarious plans? No hidden agenda?”

“Nothing whatsoever. Just friends keeping each other company. I just thought it would be fun for us all to hang out, which we do all the time anyway, it just happens to be Valentine’s Day and since none of us care about Valentine’s Day, it’s just another day.”

“Are we just hanging out in their room then?”

“Yep. No pressure. No couples. No dressing up. No pretending we’re fancy. It’s Tuesday for crying out loud. Nothing big could possibly happen on a Tuesday. Come on. Put on your comfiest clothes and let’s go.”

***

Anne, Diana, Moody and Gilbert were all good friends by now. Anne and Gilbert in particular had gotten closer over the school year and despite the mutual attraction that sometimes kept them at arms’ length, they had actually become very close and appeared to be very comfortable around each other. Gilbert had convinced himself to treat Anne like he treated Diana. This included engaging in occasional hugs and a friendly arm around her shoulders once in a while, but even these innocuous displays of affection were done infrequently in an effort to not become overbearing.

Anne had loosened up around all her friends and had become much more open and affectionate with everyone. She finally accepted that her friends were authentic and that they weren’t going anywhere. It took some extra time, but she eventually figured out how to be herself around Gilbert too, or so she thought. There were a few awkward moments here and there, but she assumed she only found them awkward because of her feelings for him so she tried to ignore them. He was her friend; there was no reason she should act any differently around him than she did Diana or Moody and she put considerable effort into making sure that she did. That she had to try so hard to act a certain way around him should have proven that it wasn’t natural for her at all, but she refused to see that.

Diana had lied to Anne just a little bit. This evening was entirely her idea and she kind of had to convince Gilbert that it was a good one. Not that it was super hard, Gilbert took every opportunity possible to spend time with Anne, but he didn’t care for Valentine’s Day and didn’t want to make a big deal out of anything that occurred on it.

One of Diana’s favorite things to do was observe how Anne and Gilbert behaved around each other. It was almost like she was studying them; it made her feel like an anthropologist. Most recently she noticed that Gilbert couldn’t help but smile when Anne started speaking passionately about something, but it wasn’t his normal goofy smile, she identified it as his ‘Adoring Anne’ smile. Diana had looked for its use in other situations, but she never found it. That smile was reserved only for Anne. Diana’s favorite thing about Anne was that she bit her lip every time she checked Gilbert out. Diana assumed Anne didn’t know about this habit and Diana wasn’t going to tell her. She was waiting for Gilbert to say something. Though he seemed as oblivious of her affection for him as she was of his, so she knew it might be a bit of a wait.

Part of her could understand why neither of them had confessed their feelings for each other. Telling someone you liked them **is** a scary thing to do, especially when your brain is telling you that she isn’t interested or that he’s too good for you. What Diana couldn’t understand is why Anne hadn’t yet told **her** about her feelings for him. She was fairly certain that she was in love with him, but Anne hadn’t even admitted to having a crush on him. Whenever Diana would try to get it out of her, she was so careful about her responses, never even offering a direct compliment. Diana would say, ‘Gilbert looked really nice today, don’t you think?’ and Anne would respond, ‘That seems to be the popular opinion, yes.’ Or Diana would say, ‘So? Any guys caught your eye lately?’ and Anne would smile and say, ‘Nothing new on that front.’ Last Friday, Diana had quite pointedly asked Anne on her way out the door to go study with Gilbert, ‘Do you or do you not have feelings for him?’ and she answered, ‘I suppose so. But ‘feelings’ covers pretty much everything, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.’ As soon as Anne left, Diana buried her face in her pillow and screamed.

***

Moody loved hanging out with Anne. She was awesome and funny and made him feel good about himself. Best of all, he knew how crazy Gilbert was about her and that put her completely off limits to him. This helped calm the nerves he often got around any female his age and gave him the chance at a legitimate friendship with a girl for the first time in his life. There was no chance of anything ever happening between them and he loved it, and he truly loved being her friend. Diana was a bit of a different story. He thought Anne was pretty and could absolutely see why Gilbert was attracted to her, but Diana was hot. He knew nothing would ever happen between them either, but he had a little more trouble relaxing around her sometimes because she wasn’t as off-limits as Anne was. Not that Gilbert had ever said either of them was off limits, but it was pretty clear that Diana was ‘serious offers only.’ While Moody found her incredibly attractive, he didn’t think he was quite ready for such a woman. 

Moody went down to let them into the building and returned to the room with Anne and Diana. Anne walked in the room and said, “Mmmmm! Pizza! Where’s it at?”

Gilbert was already preparing a plate for her. She took it from him, thanked him and went to sit next to Moody on his bed.

“I brought champagne,” Diana said, hauling a large bottle of Asti out of her backpack.

“Diana! What the hell?” Gilbert asked. “That’s a gigantic bottle of champagne. And why?”

“I know we aren’t technically supposed to have alcohol in the dorms. But whatever. And I don’t know. I just wanted some champagne. I can hardly justify opening this for only myself, so you all are going to have to share it with me.”

Anne looked at Diana skeptically as she stood there offering Anne a glass.

“You’re a dirty liar, Diana Barry. I don’t know your end game, but I’m watching you.”

“Watch all you want, it’s just champagne.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Gilbert.

“Nothing,” they both answered in a hurry.

Anne changed the subject, “Moody?”

“Annie?”

“We’ve known each other for a while now,” she began. “And since I’ve met you, I’ve wanted to ask you something. Will you please explain your name to me?”

He laughed, “There’s nothing to explain. It’s just Moody.”

“He lies!” said Gilbert with his mouth full, leaning against the desk facing them. He swallowed and continued, “His name is Modris Eugene Talbot Spurgeon.”

“Oh my goodness. Why do your parents hate you?” Anne asked seriously as Diana snickered from her spot on the floor.

“I know, right?” he laughed. “I guess I was a difficult baby and toddler, so Moody was an appropriate nickname. Then there was no going back to Modris. I’m not even sure I would answer to it if someone called me that now. My mom didn’t even want to use it, but the eldest son has gotten cursed by it for generations so, yeah, if it ever comes up, I’m hoping to adopt children who have already been named. Or maybe I’ll start praying that if I find someone that she’ll only have girls.”

“Well, as an already-named orphan, I commend your consideration of adoption.”

“What about your name? Gilbert mentioned you changed it at some point?”

“Yeah. I was born Anne Margaret Shirley. Margaret happened to be the name of one of my foster moms. I don’t want to get into it, but she was terrible. When the Cuthberts adopted me, I took the opportunity to change my name around and didn’t even give it a second thought. I put Shirley in the middle as a way to keep my parents with me, but I was looking for a fresh start. I was so excited to be a Cuthbert; to be part of an established family in a community. I assume my parents were good people, but I didn’t know them. I knew the Cuthberts were good and that they wanted me, and I wanted to be part of them, so Anne Shirley Cuthbert made sense.”

“Just one more question: It took you six months to ask me about my name but you knocked Gilbert out within a couple hours of meeting him?”

“Well, you’ve never frustrated me as much as Gilbert did that day.”

“What can I say?” Gilbert smiled and winked at her. “It’s a gift.”

“Oh, it’s something alright,” she responded, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll make a note to stay on your good side,” Moody said with a smile.

“Don’t let her fool you. Apparently, I’m on her bad side and I still get to see her almost every day. And she hasn’t knocked me out since then. Admit it, Anne,” he said, offering her his most charming smile, “I’m growing on you.”

“I will admit only that my initial assessment of you was correct.”

“Which is…”

“That I find you simultaneously intriguing and infuriating.”

“I’ll take it!” Gilbert said excitedly. “I was expecting much, much worse.”

“That is one way to summarize it, what she really said was that she wanted to simultaneously punch you and-”

“Diana!” Anne yelled and glared at her. “I think my summary is adequate!”

Diana laughed, “It really isn’t, but I’ll let it go.”

Anne looked around trying to find something else to talk about as Gilbert and Moody looked at each other and shrugged, not following what the girls were saying.

“Your room is actually really nice and clean. Why exactly don’t we hang out here more?” she asked.

“Because of the interruptions,” said Moody.

“What interruptions?” asked Anne.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

***

Anne picked the movie. Apparently, it was one she had wanted to see for a long time, but never got the opportunity to do so. The other three weren’t thrilled with her selection, but she was looking for something that was not romantic, and none of them could deny that she nailed it, so they went with it. They each refilled their champagne and started watching. Moody’s bed had the best view of the TV, so Gilbert sat down near Anne and Moody moved over a bit so Diana could sit next to Anne as well.

The interruptions Moody had referred to became apparent soon enough. Girls kept coming to their door and asking for Gilbert. Moody answered the first three who arrived and Gilbert got the next two. Every time, they would deliver some version of ‘We’re busy, have a good night.’

“How do they even get in here? The building doors are locked!” Diana asked.

“If you so much as smile at 90% of the guys who live here, they’ll let you in, no problem,” Gilbert said. “It’s become kind of a problem, as you can see.”

“So, girls just show up to, what exactly?” Anne asked.

“Mostly just say ‘hi.’ Or ask something about an assignment or see if I’ve eaten yet. It’s not that bad, and I really think most of them are just being nice, but it can be a little annoying. We tried not answering the door, but they knew we were here. And it was worse when we propped the door open, then they’d just wander in.”

The sixth girl that knocked is the one who pushed Anne over the edge. _I get the appeal, I do,_ she thought, _but do they have to interrupt my movie?_ Gilbert sighed, looked up at the ceiling in frustration and embarrassment and then started to get up to answer his door again. Anne grabbed his arm to prevent him from rising.

She turned to him and asked, “You don’t care what other people think, right?”

“No. I don’t. Why?” he said as he rose and walked over to look through the peep hole.

“Do you want me to try?” Anne asked him with a mischievous smile encouraged by her two glasses of champagne.

“I guess, if you want to,” he turned back to her. “It’s Gretchen. She’s terrible. She actually made fun of Max Kembler. I mean, who does that?”

“The kid with the cochlear implant?” Diana asked.

“The fourteen-year-old genius who happens to have a cochlear implant,” he corrected her. “Yeah. What are you going to do?”

Gretchen knocked again, getting impatient.

“I’m just going to tell her that you’re busy,” Anne said as she pulled bits of her hair out of her ponytail, loosening the whole thing to the point where it looked like it was falling out. “Di, wanna help me out here?”

Diana smiled, reading Anne’s mind, and rose to help her.

“I said I was busy before. It didn’t work. What sort of superpowers do you think you have?”

“I’m just going to try something. Call it a variation on the trick you learned from Winnie,” she said. Anne bit her lips together repeatedly in an effort to make them look swollen and then licked them, making sure to spread the moisture out beyond them. She stood, took off her sweatshirt, leaving her in a tight tank top. She bent over so her head was down and ran in place for a couple seconds. Diana rotated the waist band on her leggings a bit and pulled her tank top down in spots and up in others.

“Seriously!” he laughed, “What the hell are you two doing?”

“I may have no experience, but I sure as hell know what it looks like when someone gets caught in the middle of something. She flipped her head up quickly, revealing a flushed face and went to answer the door. She giggled as she opened it and then said, “Oh my gosh, I’m sooo sorry that took so long, can I help you?” in the most obnoxiously sweet voice she could muster.

Gretchen was a very pretty blonde with a skirt that barely covered her ass and not nearly enough shirt for February. She took in Anne’s appearance and ignored it. “Hiya! I was wondering if I could speak with Gilbert?”

Anne made a show of looking back into the room where Gilbert, Moody and Diana looked back at her trying not to laugh. This made Anne actually start laughing and she had to hide it with the fake giggle.

“He’s, um,” she started with a playful smile and then continued in a whisper, “He’s not fit for company right now.”

“Oh! Are you **with** him? I assumed you were just a friend.”

“You assumed wrong, sweetie. Do you want me to add your name to the list of girls who have stopped by tonight to see him?”

“There’s a list?” Gretchen asked, and Anne could tell she was surprised.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry, really, but you didn’t even crack the first five. I get his appeal, obviously, and I’m not trying to be mean here, but Gilbert is just a really nice guy. His kindness isn’t flirting. If he liked you, you would know.”

“Oh, like you do?” Gretchen spitefully replied. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re here with Gilbert. I bet you’re with the roommate.”

(Gilbert whispered, “That’s enough,” to Moody and Diana. “She shouldn’t have to do this.”  
Diana whispered back, “She offered Gilbert, it was her idea.”  
“Regardless,” he said as he stood. “This isn’t right.”  
“Gil, wait. Take off your shirt.”  
“Why?”  
“It’ll make it more convincing,” reassured Diana.  
He scowled at her, but followed her directions, balled up his t-shirt and threw it angrily at her head.  
Diana looked at Moody and laughed, “This is so much fun; I feel like a puppeteer!”)

“Well, I’d be lucky to have the roommate, his name is Moody by the way. Great guy. But I assure you I’m here with Gilbert. And you have no idea the depths to which he’s conveyed his attraction to me,” she said suggestively. “Also, I’ll just be honest with you; you aren’t really his type.”

“And what type would that be, skanky and red-headed?”

Gilbert opened the door further, leaned against the edge and glared at the blonde. “Kind and passionate with a healthy dose of dignity. **That’s** my type. Though I admit the red hair is a bonus. Did I ever tell you that you look exactly like my ex-girlfriend?”

“You have good taste,” she boldly (and stupidly) flirted. “Or at least you used to.”

“Oh, I do now. That’s for damn sure. That relationship did not end well, hell, there was really no good part about it. Turns out she was nothing more than a pretty face either. I assure you, since then I’ve become much more discerning regarding who I spend my time with.”

Anne slid her arm around his waist, pulling him into her. She knew she was taking advantage of the situation, but he didn’t seem to mind since he put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head in response.

Moody and Diana looked at each other with big eyes, not quite believing what they were seeing.

Anne smiled flirtatiously up at him and then looked at Gretchen and said, “Oh! I’m sorry, I totally forgot you were here! I didn’t catch your name; did you want me to add you to the list?” Anne asked as a genuine laugh escaped her mouth.

“When you’re ready for a real woman, don’t come crawling to me.”

Without missing a beat, Gilbert said, “I’m sorry, I’m confused, why on earth would I settle for a woman when I have a goddess?”

They watched her walk away in a huff and then fell in on each other laughing.

“Oh my gosh that was amazing! Gilbert! How did you come up with all that so quickly?”

“Probably the same way you did,” he replied.

Anne found his answer problematic. She was able to come up with her response and play it off so convincingly because it came so naturally to her to be like that with him. In that moment she figured out that it was all her other interactions with him that were an act and were forced; **this** was real. Being in his arms was where she was most comfortable with him; by his side is where she found she could be her true self. She found it impossible to believe that he could be experiencing the same thing.

She laughed awkwardly and said, “That can’t possibly be true, I promise, but nice work regardless. She was tougher to deter than I thought, but I think we convinced her.”

“Oh, I think you convinced the whole room,” Diana said and Moody laughed.

“What?” Anne asked.

“You’re just jealous of my acting skills,” Gilbert said.

“She might be if you were using them,” Moody said.

“Oooo! Nice Moods!” Diana said and held up her hand for a high five.

“What are you talking about? I thought he did great!” Anne said in support.

“No one is saying he didn’t. You both played your parts absolutely perfectly,” Diana said as she threw Gilbert’s shirt back at him. “Never have I ever seen a more convincing performance.”

Gilbert put his shirt back on and, ignoring her comment, asked, “Should we get back to the movie?” He sat down and pressed play.

“Yes please!” Anne said enthusiastically as she straightened her shirt and sat back down between him and Diana. “I can’t wait to see how these guys turn their lives around.”

Gilbert paused the movie again and looked around Anne at Diana and Moody.

“Oh sweetie,” Diana said gently.

“Uh-oh,” Moody said, then looked down at his phone, pretending to have an urgent situation to deal with.

“Anne, you’re smart. Do you know what requiem means?” Gilbert asked.

“Of course I do I just want…”

“There it is,” he said as he watched her face fall. “You saw how we all grimaced when you said you wanted to watch this, didn’t you?”

“Yeah…”

“It is not an easy movie to watch, but I’ll give you credit that it is pretty much the opposite of Valentine’s Day.”

“So, they don’t get the store?”

“No.”

“Does Sara get on the game show?”

“No.”

“Do Marion and Harry at least end up together?”

“No.”

“What about Tyrone?”

“Just… no, Anne. No to everything and so much more. Are you sure you want to watch this movie?”

“Um, yeah. I’m prepared for the unhappy ending now. How bad can it be?”

“Oh, Annie,” Moody said shaking his head.

“This is going to be like telling a four-year-old the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy on her birthday,” Diana said in a warning tone.

“Guys, she asked for it. She’s an adult. She’ll be fine.”

“Thank you for believing in me, Gilbert.”

“Sorry Carrots; I’m only trying to make myself feel better,” he said as he un-paused _Requiem for a Dream_. “You’re going to regret this. It’s going to break your spirit and I’m going to regret allowing it forever.”

Moody, Diana and Anne watched the movie. Gilbert mostly watched Anne, his heart breaking more with every passing minute as he watched hope drain out of her and tears stream down her face.

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_Please hug her or something.  
This is killing me.  
Put your arm around her._

_No. You do it._

_I can’t do that!_

_Then it looks like you’re going to suffer._

_I don’t like you._

_I don’t care. Look how sad she is. If  
only there was someone in the room  
who loved her enough to provide her  
some comfort._

_You’re saying you don’t._

_I’m saying I’m three drinks in. I don’t  
get all touchy feely until 4 drinks. We  
both know that 3 drinks is…_

_Selfish/Cold Hard Truth Diana_

_Suck it Blythe._

_You’re mean._

Gilbert did finally summon the courage to put his arm around her as she was sobbing through the final scene. She leaned into the side hug, neither of them cared that she was soaking his shirt with her tears.

As the credits rolled and the sobbing slowed, Anne sat up and looked at Gilbert with her mouth open and asked, “But why? Why would someone make this movie?”

The look on Anne’s face broke Gilbert. He couldn’t stop himself if he wanted to; he was going to fix this.

“Here. Have some chocolate,” he said reaching for his bag. He looked them over, selected one with a smile and offered it to her. “It’ll release some endorphins and help you start to feel better.”

“This chocolate says: ‘I love you so much I’m willing to let you think you were right.’”

“Yeah. I picked up a handful of chocolate from the bucket downstairs. I thought they were funny.”

“Sure you did,” said Diana doubtfully.

She brushed over the declaration of love. Everything said that today; it meant nothing. “This sounds a lot like letting me win an argument. I told you to never do that,” she teased.

“I would never!”

“Can I see the rest of them?” she asked and he handed her the bag of candy.

“So, any other grand plans to cheer us up?” asked Diana as Anne looked over the chocolates, laughing at what she read.

Gilbert smiled, watching Anne and then looked at Diana and smiled cheekily. He whispered, “Thrift store.”

“Hell yeah!” Diana yelled. “Moods, Anne, you’re going to love this!”

“I don’t have any money,” Anne said. “Even thrift store money.

“No problem. This is on William Barry,” Diana offered, then explained, “So, whenever Gilbert and I were devastated for one reason or another, we would go to the thrift store-”

“And we have two rules,” Gilbert interrupted. “You have to leave with an outfit that has at least 5 colors and wear something in a manner that it is not intended for.”

“To what end?” Anne asked, confused.

“To have fun and forget your misery. We used to walk around town, or go bowling, or out to eat. Whatever we thought would provide a good distraction,” explained Gilbert.

“So tonight we are going to…” Diana led him.

Gilbert smiled. “Bruno’s. We always go to Bruno’s on Tuesdays with the guys and I was bummed we were going to miss it. Tonight they are doing nineties night to do something special for the ‘holiday’ without making it too couple-y. And we know it won’t be busy with Valentine’s Day celebrations.”

“How do we know that?” Anne asked.

“Because no one in their right mind would try to impress someone by going to Bruno’s. It’s like, the dive-iest of dives,” Moody explained.

“Is it clean at least?” Diana asked tentatively.

“If it’s clean enough for Gilbert, it’s clean enough for me,” Anne said.

“Good point,” Diana agreed.

“And I promise it won’t be all lovey-dovey. No one has ever fallen in love at Bruno’s. I don’t think it’s possible,” Gilbert said.

“What thrift store are we going to?” Diana asked.

“The one where they wash the clothes as soon as they come in the door,” Gilbert said. “Like I’d step foot in Third Time’s the Charm. I swear I saw a rat run out of there the other day.”

They all got up and got ready to go. They were halfway down the hall when Anne said, “Crap! I forgot my sweatshirt! Give me your key quick and I’ll run back.”

She ran back to the room and got her sweatshirt she ‘accidentally’ forgot. It was her fourth glass of champagne that gave her the courage to pick up the chocolate she had left on the top of the pile and put it on Gilbert’s pillow.

***

They walked to Deluxe Junque and browsed for a while and were pleased to see that the store was well stocked.

Anne was trying to avoid Diana, knowing that she would have all sorts of comments about her performance with Gilbert. Unfortunately, Diana was persistent and all the champagne had made Anne a little slow.

“So…”

“Yes, dear?” Anne asked curtly.

“You looked awfully cozy next to Gilbert earlier.”

“When we were putting on an act to get rid of Gretchen or when I was sobbing uncontrollably onto his shirt?”

“I was thinking particularly when you put your arm around his bare torso and pulled him into you as he so sweetly kissed the top of your head.”

“You’re right. Nothing more romantic than two people using each other to get rid of someone.”

“Nothing more revealing than the smile on your face as you looked at him smiling down at you.”

Anne froze in place and asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean you can lie to yourself all you want, but there’s nothing you could possibly say that will convince me that you aren’t crazy about him. Here. Go with this one,” she said holding out a dress to Anne. “Just because we’re going to look like fools doesn’t mean you can’t dress to impress.”

Diana left her there in stunned silence and continued walking around picking up various pieces to try on before running into Gilbert.

“Care to offer a comment on the kiss?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I thought you’d at least have an opinion on the matter.”

“What do you want me to do? Apologize? I don’t see a reason to. She didn’t seem to mind and I’ve kissed the top of her head before in a similar situation. If she had a problem with it, I’m sure she would say something but since I’m standing here, conscious and bruise-free, I’m going to assume that it was fine. As far as my opinion goes, well, let’s just say it’s taking everything I have not to try to replicate the situation.”

“Did you even think it through?”

“No, it just happened,” he sighed. “She put her arm around my waist and it was like she flipped a switch and I just melted into her. It just felt like that’s where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do.”

“Aren’t you just the sweetest boy,” she teased him.

“Yes, I am. Shut up.”

***

Moody found a shirt that had a red, green and orange sequined umbrella on it that said “Fo Drizzle.” He added a blue wrap skirt that he wore as a cape and some purple sweatpants that they were all fairly sure were a youth size so they fit him like capris.

Diana found a pair of black pleather leggings that said, “Why buy the cow” going up one leg and “when you can get the milk for free?” going down the other. She added some pink and purple polka-dot rainboots to it and wrapped a neon green feathered boa around her torso to wear as a tube top. She completed her look with a guy’s dress shirt with blue and yellow stripes that she left unbuttoned and tied together at her waist.

Gilbert found a t-shirt that barely fit him, but it was a collage of Betty White faces so he couldn’t really pass it up. The shirt alone took care of the color requirement. He found a black sequined belt he wrapped around his wrist as a bracelet and some sweatpants that had a laser printed image of jeans on them to complete the look.

The dress Diana found for Anne looked like it was dyed by throwing balloons full of paint at it. It was cheap lace and mostly maroon, which made her look like she had stepped out of a horror movie, but there was orange and yellow on it as well. The dress was strapless so she added a boy’s navy suit coat to wear over it and tied a multi-colored plaid tie in her hair as a head band.

“I feel like an idiot,” she said flatly as she left the dressing room, looking at her friends chuckling at her.

“But you look great!” said Moody. “It’s like zombie bride invades prep school.”

“Diana…” Gilbert began. The protective part of him really wanted to suggest that she find other pants to wear, but he knew he had no right to tell her what to wear. He had learned that lesson over the holidays. Twice.

“Say something. I dare you,” she challenged him.

“Classy as ever, Princess.”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought, Betty.”

“That is an amazing shirt Gil. I have to admit I’m a little mad you found it first,” Anne said.

“Well, lucky for you it barely fits me.”

 _Lucky for me indeed,_ she thought as she bit her lip. “Why’s that?”

“Because I’m never going to wear it again. You can have it after tonight.”

“Really?”

“If you want it, it’s yours.”

“Wow. Thank you!”

He laughed and said, “Anne, I’m not complaining, but why are you so grateful for a two-dollar shirt that I’m not interested in keeping? You’ll be doing me the favor by getting it out of my closet. And, bonus, you’ll be preventing me from being teased by Bash.”

“I’ve never gotten a gift on a whim from a friend before!” she said excitedly. “Like, I know we did small gifts at Christmas, but you have no real reason to give this to me. That is so nice of you! Thank you!”

Anne turned away from them and practically skipped to the front of the store, thinking her friends were following behind her. With that simple comment, Moody, Diana and Gilbert were all reminded that Anne had it rough, and they all promised themselves to be more generous to her in the future in an effort to make up for her past.

***

They walked to Bruno’s and found an empty booth without difficulty. The bar wasn’t very full and mostly there seemed to be groups of elderly friends scattered throughout the place. As promised, it was definitely not catering to the Valentine’s Day crowd. Diana went to the bar and got them a round of Long Island Iced Teas courtesy of Mr. Barry and brought them to the table. The champagne had worn off and Diana had decided on behalf of all of them it was time to jump back in.

“To good friends who don’t let us wallow in our misery!” Diana said, raising her glass. They all clinked glasses to the toast.

“Drink up, because everyone is singing tonight,” Gilbert said.

Anne drank half her drink in one go and said, “Diana, we are definitely singing some Mariah Carey.”

Diana groaned, “Must you always shoot for the stars, Anne? Seriously!”

“Um. Yeah. I must. It’s not a hard one though. Drink up, we’re doing _Always Be My Baby._ Drink, drink, drink, drink,” Anne chanted as Diana caught up to her. “Let’s go!” 

Anne grabbed Diana’s hand and they ran up to the empty stage. Tuesday was always Karaoke night here, but the general population tonight didn’t seem very interested in partaking.

Gilbert and Moody continued drinking as the girls started singing.

“And what is Gilbert going to sing?” Moody asked, “ _To Be with You_ by Mr. Big? _I’ll Make Love to You_ by Boyz II Men? _I Swear_ by All-4-One? _Truly Madly Deeply_ by Savage Garden? _Only Wanna Be With You_ by Hootie and the Blowfish?”

“Okay, first of all, fuck off. Second of all, make sure you thank your former babysitter for providing you with the knowledge for that burn.”

“Ah, Monica. My first love,” he said wistfully.

They silently watched the girls dance on stage, both of them smiling genuinely as they sang together.

As the song was ending, Gilbert asked, “She seems happier now, right?”

“Yeah, I’d say so. You know you get this dopey grin when you watch her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was just watching you watch her. You have a special Anne smile.”

“I do not have a special Anne smile.”

Diana returned to the table while Anne went to the ladies’ room.

“Diana,” Moody began, “Have you notice Gil has this special smile he has only for our fiery haired friend?”

“His ‘Adoring Anne’ face, yeah.”

“Ha! That’s good. I just call it his ‘Anne-grin.’”

“Well, that’s great,” Gilbert said and took a long drink.

When Anne returned, Gilbert and Moody went up to sing _Tonight Tonight_ by the Smashing Pumpkins which put Anne into a trance. The girls sat there watching and enjoying the music until Anne broke the silence.

“Is it wrong that I just want to listen to him sing for forever?”

Diana burst out laughing, sure that that counted as confessing a crush, “What!?”

“Ah, um, nothing. I think I need some water. And maybe a cheeseburger. Is your dad still paying?”

“Yeah, I have a tab open, go for it.”

Anne walked up to the bar and ordered. The bartender got her some water and told her it would be a few minutes on the burger.

“Big Valentine’s Day celebration? Doing a couples date?”

“Just a friend thing.”

He looked at her skeptically. “Really? Just a friend thing?”

Anne took a drink, “Not convinced?”

“Not even a little,” he laughed.

“Well, Steve,” she said, reading his shirt, “Can I call you Steve?” He nodded in affirmation. “I’m just gonna be real honest with you. I’m terrified. I’m falling in love with one of my best friends. It’s terrible. I don’t know what to do. And I tried to stop it. I really did. I made lists, I tried to find his flaws, I prayed, I did stupid emotional cleanses. You name it, I tried it, but the more I try to suppress it, the stronger it gets. It’s like my feelings for him are as stubborn as I am. I’m fighting a losing battle here, Steve.”

“Well, here’s an idea,” he said, “You could tell him how you feel. Nothing feels as good as someone telling you that they love you.”

“Even if you don’t return their feelings?”

“You’re into the curly haired one, right?”

Anne nodded.

“Yeah,” he laughed, “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“You have no idea what I’m up against, Steve. Everybody wants Gilbert Blythe. We were watching a movie earlier and six girls came by asking for him.”

“Who cares? Who was he spending his time with?” he looked at her expectantly. “It doesn’t matter who else is interested. Look at what he does, not at what other people say.” He let her think on it for a minute while he went to the window to get her food. He returned and said, “Here’s your burger sweetie, but I don’t think it’s what you’re really hungry for.”

Anne returned to the table and sat down to eat as Diana and Gilbert got up to sing _Baby Got Back_ by Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Moody and Anne watched and laughed at a song they seemed to know way too well. Clearly they had done this before. When they sat back down Anne said, “That’s an incredibly sexual song to sing with someone you view as a sibling.”

“It’s tradition,” they responded. And apparently that was all the explanation they thought they needed to provide.

The rest of them ordered some food to accompany a second round of drinks. While they waited for it to arrive, Anne and Moody sang _Freak of the Week_ by Marvelous 3. Diana had long since let the liquor take her and sat there laughing at Gilbert.

“Hey Gilbert, you know that heart eyes emoji? I think they got that from you.”

“Shut up, I don’t have heart eyes. That’s not a thing.”

“It **is** a thing. I can tell by the way your face is!”

“I cannot wait for you to fall in love with someone. I’m going to give you so much shit.”

“I’m only giving you shit because you aren’t doing anything about it. Pretty sure if you just said something, she’d be yours.”

“Do you really think that?” he asked seriously.

“I really, really do. Just ask her out. Or just kiss her. Pick her up and carry her off into the sunset. I don’t care. Just do something.”

“Maybe…”

“No! Not maybe! You are Gilbert Fucking Blythe. Make a fucking move. You know her, Gilbert, you know how low her confidence is. She isn’t going to make a move. Ever. But that doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t be receptive to one.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Diana groaned, put her head down and hit it repeatedly against the table.

***

After they finished eating, Anne asked, “Moody? What do you think about Valentine’s day?”

“I don’t know. Never had reason to celebrate it but I might enjoy it if I had someone to spend it with. I think I’d like doing all that for someone. Like the big displays of affection and stuff. But I think it would be more fun to do it on some random day rather than on a day designated to making you feel obligated to do so, you know? So it would really be a surprise. If I ever get a girlfriend, ask me then.”

“Gilbert? Your thoughts?” asked Diana, trying not to laugh, fully aware of what he thought about Valentine’s Day.

“Diana, you really want get me started on this? I thought you hated listening to me rant about this stupid, fucking, worst excuse for a holiday that there’s ever been.”

“I do hate it, but Moody and Anne haven’t heard it,” she said smiling.

He might have tried to phrase it better in another situation, but he was properly drunk and these were his friends, so he simply spoke his mind. “Okay, so, the celebration of love and devotion is not a terrible idea for a holiday, theoretically it’s a great one even. I mean, who doesn’t love love? But capitalism has turned this into a terrible holiday that consists mostly of seeing who can spend the most money to put on the biggest show of ‘love’ when what they are actually doing is showing how much they love attention. I hate it. The idea that there is one day that you are required to show your significant other how much you love them is absurd. You should treat your partner well every day, show them you love them as often as possible and the amount of money you are willing and or able to spend on someone is in no way any true indication of how much you love them. Treating someone well on one day of the year does not make up for the fact that you take them for granted the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“On a leap year-”

“Yes, Anne,” he said, pointing at her, “Thank you, three hundred and sixty-five days if it’s a leap year. And don’t even get me started on people who choose Valentine’s Day to propose in some attention whoring manner. If you need to put on a show to propose, are you even doing it for the right reason? Or are you just trying to make sure she says yes because it would be too embarrassing to say no in front of so many people? I mean, by all means make it special, but why does It have to be a community event?”

“You have very strong feelings about this for someone whose longest relationship was three months,” Moody pointed out.

“He’s been thinking about it for a long time. When he was thirteen, four of his classmates confessed their love for him on Valentine’s and he’s been afraid of the day ever since.”

“I’m not **afraid** of it. Well, not anymore anyway. It’s just… there are so many days you can choose to make such a proclamation or a proposal. Why not make it more special? Then you have a day to celebrate that is just yours. Wouldn’t that be better?”

“Anne? What are your thoughts?” Diana prodded. “Care to share what we were discussing earlier?”

“I… I… I need to pee,” she stammered, and ran to the bathroom.

“That’s my cue,” Diana said, following her.

***

By the time Diana reached the ladies room, Anne was surrounded by three elderly women who appeared to be tending to an injury.

“Anne! What happened?!”

“Oh dear, nothing to worry about, poor thing just got a little upset and punched the stall a bit.”

“Why?!”

“I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe,” she said weakly, as she tried not to cry. Diana felt a little bad for pushing her to reveal her feelings so often. Apparently admitting her love for him was terrifying for her.

“Oh honey,” Diana said pulling her into a tight hug, “I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes, you’ve been in love with him for months.”

“Is this young man here with you tonight?” asked one of the ladies.

“Yeah. Corner booth in the Betty White shirt,” Diana answered.

The ladies all left to take a lap around the bar.

“Diana! This is terrible! What am I going to do?”

“Ask. Him. Out.”

“I couldn’t. Ever. You know how many girls are interested in him. There is no logical reason he should pick me.”

“Except that he spends all his time with you and has designated you as his future- I mean favorite woman?”

“That was just a nice thing to say. You know everyone in his phone has a nickname.”

“And yours should have been Carrots, but he went with Favorite Woman instead. Doesn’t that give you any hope at all?”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s never going to be interested in me like that. And he’s one of my best friends now. I can’t risk losing him over this.”

“Also, from what I’ve seen. Love isn’t logical. But I know that even if it were, there would be no more logical pairing than you two.”

The old women returned to the bathroom, interrupting Anne’s stunned silence.

“My, my, **both** those young men are absolutely charming! Get back out there, ladies!” said the one with orange hair.

“I can’t go back out there; I can’t be in love with him.”

“Why not? Seems as good an option as any,” the one with green glasses said.

“He’s not. He’s so much better,” Anne whined.

“And why exactly don’t you deserve the best?” asked the one with too much lipstick.

“He’s one of my best friends! I can’t be in love with my best friend! It’s going to ruin everything!”

“It is so true that youth is wasted on the young!” said the one with green glasses. “You **should** be in love with your best friend. And you shouldn’t waste a minute being in love with anyone who isn’t.”

“Well, there you have it, Anne. It’s me or Gilbert. Your choice.”

“Can’t I just choose you? I’m sure we’d be happy together,” she begged.

“That’s not how it works and you know it. Not once have you looked at me like you wanted to rip my clothes off.”

The elderly women all laughed.

“I don’t look at him like that!”

“Okay, sure. Come on, sweetie,” Diana said taking her uninjured hand.

“‘Nothing big can happen on a Tuesday!’ they said. ‘No one could possibly fall in love at Bruno’s!’ they said. Well fuck you and fuck that shit! You’re all full of crap!” Anne yelled as they left the restroom.

“Technically speaking, you didn’t fall in love here,” Diana corrected her.

“You’re right. Tonight was just the final nail in the coffin. This sucks. And now I get to sit there with him and pretend everything about my existence didn’t just change. This should be fun.”

***

As soon as Diana was out of the booth, Gilbert groaned in disgust at himself.

“I sure know what to say to impress the ladies, don’t I?” Gilbert asked sarcastically before slamming his head down on his arms on the table. “Fuck.”

“Maybe she really did have to pee?” Moody tried to say hopefully, though he barely pulled it off.

“This is so stupid. She’s never going to like me.”

“Not with that attitude she’s not!” he exclaimed trying to lighten the mood. “You said you would wait. Were you lying?”

“No.”

“So, then your choices are to keep waiting patiently or to do something about it. Tell her that you’re interested. For all you know she is just waiting for you to say something. Or maybe she assumes you aren’t interested with all the attention you get from other girls.”

“I spend almost all my time with her. She couldn’t possibly think that. Can we help you ladies?” Gilbert said as three elderly women approached them.

“We just want to say how lovely it is to see fun young couples out on the town enjoying each other’s company so well,” said the woman with green glasses.

“Oh, um, thanks, but we’re just here with our friends,” Gilbert clarified.

“Pity. Thought I saw a spark between you and that beautiful redhead. Hopefully she **is** just a friend and you aren’t just being blind to the possibilities. It’d be unfortunate to pass up something greater when an opportunity seems to be so clearly presenting itself to you.”

The three women smiled and left.

“That was weird,” Moody said.

“Agreed.”

***

They walked back to the booth as Anne shook her hand out.

“What happened?” Gilbert asked.

“I punched a door. Don’t ask questions.”

“What hurts?”

“My thumb.”

“Show me how you punch. Don’t hold your thumb like that, keep it out of your fist. If you ever punch something harder or more immobile, you could dislocate your thumb.”

“I know I talk about throwing punches a lot, but I highly doubt that information will be useful in my future. All the same, I appreciate the advice,” she said, and finished her drink.

“I say we do two more, in honor of this holiday we all hate. We will do Disney duets, that’ll be fun. Moody and I will do _Something There_ from Beauty and the Beast.”

“And what are Anne and Gilbert going to sing?” Anne asked, glaring at her.

“ _A Whole New World._ ”

Watching Moody and Diana sing _Something There_ was entertaining. They had a lot of fun with it and appeared to be in on some joke. Gilbert and Anne watched with feigned amusement as they sat across from each other not speaking.

Gilbert and Anne’s rendition of _A Whole New World_ left Diana and Moody and pretty much then entire bar speechless. It started somewhat awkwardly, but soon enough they leaned into the performance and enjoyed themselves. Their chemistry was palpable, as it always was, and the entire bar enthusiastically applauded them when they finished.

They returned to the table, accepted their friends compliments and after briefly making eye contact and smiling at each other, they both did their best to avoid eye contact for the remainder of the night.

They stayed for one more round and some nachos, chatting about life and school and things slowly started to feel more normal. As they were getting up to go, Bessie, the bar owner came over to them.

“Hello Bessie, how are you this evening?” Gilbert asked politely.

“Quite well, Gilbert, quite well. I must say it’s been wonderful to see you two boys here with some ladies! I hear you talk about women all the time; I was getting worried that you would never make a move!”

“These are our **friends** Anne and Diana,” Moody clarified after seeing the look of panic on Gilbert’s face when he realized his big secret was about to be blown by an eighty-year-old woman. “Anne, Di, this is Bessie, she owns the bar.”

“Nice to meet you,” they both responded politely.

“Oh dear, this is a bit awkward then. Gilbert, you and your **friend,** Anne, have just won Cutest Couple.”

“We **what**?!” Anne yelled as Diana and Moody started laughing.

“Um, thank you? I guess? I’m sorry, Bess, but we didn’t submit our names for anything. I wasn’t even aware there was a contest going on tonight.”

“Oh, there isn’t. But after you two sang together, something just had to be said.”

“Did it?” Anne asked her irritably, “Did it really?”

“Yes, dear. It did. Have a good night.”

“Well, Carrots,” Gilbert said cautiously, “Looks like you’ll have to join us next week. Free drink, dinner and dessert for the lovely couple.”

“Well, free food is free food. I’ll be there,” she answered.

***

“That didn’t count as asking me out, Diana,” Anne argued with her friend when they got home. “I’m going with all the guys. And we both won. He’d be an ass if he didn’t share the prize.”

***

“That didn’t count as me asking her out, Moody,” Gilbert argued with his friend when they got home after leaving Anne and Diana at their dorm. “All the guys will be there. We both won, it only makes sense that we’d share the prize.”

“So why didn’t you ask her out, so it would just be you two?”

“Because I was afraid she’d say no. At least I get to spend time with her this way.”

They got ready for bed and when Gilbert went to lay down, he saw there was a chocolate left on his pillow. He furrowed his brow in confusion, picked it up and read: ‘I never knew I could love someone this much, which is good, because you drive me positively insane.’

He ignored the fact that it was a declaration of love. Everything proclaimed love on Valentine’s Day. He got out his phone.

**FW – Mobile**

_Well played._

_Thank you._

_Do I really though?_

_Drive me insane?_

_Yeah._

_You do._

_In a good way?_

_The best.  
I think._

_I told you I was growing on you.  
I know how hard it is for you  
to admit that I was right.  
But was I wrong?_

_About what exactly?_

_Am I growing on you?_

_Like a fungus._

_I’m choosing to interpret that as a  
good thing.  
This isn’t a big deal, but did my opinion  
on Valentine’s Day upset you? You kind  
of ran off like you were angry.  
I’m not going to apologize for my views,  
but I am sorry if I offended you if you’re  
into it all._

_I’m absolutely not into any of it. If anything,  
I was mad that even in your drunken state  
you were able to more eloquently verbalize  
my opinion on the matter than I was when I  
was yelling at Diana earlier today. _

_So you agree?_

_Yes.  
I’m not sure why I continue to be surprised  
by our similarities, but here we are._

_So what would you say was the best part  
of this useless holiday? _

_I saw a pillow in a window display as we were  
walking around tonight that was pretty amazing.  
Kind of made my day._

_After all the fun we had today?  
A pillow was the best part?  
Ouch!_

_I think you’ll agree with me when I tell you  
what it said._

_So…_

_‘If you’re single and you know it, use your hands.’_

_OMG.  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Was I wrong?_

_I don’t think you ever are._

_Goodnight Gil._

_Night Carrots._

********Back to the Bonfire********

“God bless Bessie,” Moody said. “Man, she made my year.”

“Really? Because she pissed me off,” Anne said. “How dare she presume the relationship status of two people!”

“You’re absolutely right Anne, how dare she presume that two people who stare at each other longingly all night long and give what can only be described as the most sultry performance of _A Whole New World_ that has ever occurred be dating each other. The audacity!” Diana said sarcastically. “The only two people who didn’t think you two were together that night is you two. And I maintain that you two were the only ones who were wrong.”

“So let me get this straight, you were so upset to admit you were in love with me that you punched a door?”

“Just a little one. And I wasn’t mad I was in love with you… I… yeah. I was. I was mad I was in love with you. Sorry. But it was only because I knew how great you were and didn’t think I would ever have a chance with you! It’s a compliment. Really.”

“Good to hear, because it doesn’t really feel like a compliment.” He said it in a joking tone, but Anne knew he was hurt by the revelation.

She put her hand up to his ear and whispered, “Don’t let my idiocy make you feel bad. Does this feel like a compliment?” before nibbling on his earlobe.

He chuckled quietly and then whispered to her, “No, but I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever gone from sad to turned on. And thanks for including all our friends on this, by the way.”

She put her hand on the side of his head and guided him into her, “No one’s even paying attention to us. Kiss me.”

“Stop making out!” Cole yelled at them. “Just because we all waited for it for three and a half years doesn’t mean that we actually want to see it.”

“Speak for yourself!” Jane said.

“I’m with her,” agreed Tillie. “We’ve earned this. Carry on you two.”

So they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if you're a big fan of Valentine's Day and public proposals. You may be able to tell that I am not. We're all different, and that's a good thing. To each their own.
> 
> Do not watch Requiem for a Dream. It is absolutely devastating. My experience with the movie is what Anne went through here. I had heard how amazing it was and knew I should see it and it temporarily broke me. It's an amazing movie, cinematically speaking, and I think it's an accurate depiction of the hell you can fall into if you get involved with hard drugs, but because of this, it is just so hard to watch and I will never watch it again. It hurts to even think about it. The last song is amazing though. I tried to fit Gilbert’s appreciation of the song into the story but it didn’t fit.
> 
> I don’t know if this is a world wide saying: "Why buy the cow when you can get the mile for free?"  
> It’s a terrible and offensive expression that essentially means why marry a girl when she is already having sex with you. The idea of Diana finding pleather pants that say this cracks me up. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of Valentine's Day! (Cole's story is next 😉 )


	6. The Summer of 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The summer after freshman year depicted by one story from each week. Some are momentous; others, not so much. These are mostly just little interactions between Anne and Gilbert that most their friends don't know about and don't need to know about. But you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I LIED!!!
> 
> This isn’t Cole’s chapter. I was writing it and determined I needed an interlude that shows some interactions that occurred throughout the summer. I tried to write it in flashback and recollecting and storytelling, but a flashback in a flashback was way too much and it didn’t work and it sucked and everything sucked and I'm sorry. So, bear with me for a hot minute and try to enjoy this little non-chapter for the fluff it is. You’ll hear from Cole soon. Please don't hate me.

**Week 1:**

Sebastian had been watching Gilbert as they sat eating breakfast. Delphine was at the head of the table and Gilbert sat across from him, grinning like a fool as he stared at his phone. Gilbert had only been home for four days, and every day had been like this, with him on his phone constantly.

“Why you glued to your phone? You didn’t used to be like this.”

“I’m just answering some texts.”

“From…?”

“Diana, Anne and Charlie. Does it matter?” he looked up at Sebastian with his brow furrowed.

“That depends. Which one of them has you smiling like that?”

“Technically, that would be Charlie,” he said confidently, thinking he had outsmarted him.

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asked, not satisfied with the answer, “Then what are you talking about?”

“Anne,” he admitted reluctantly.

“There it is,” he said, “Invite her over! You said she’s in New London, right? It’d be nice to meet her.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because **you’re** here.”

“Ouch.”

“What? I don’t want you teasing us.”

“I thought she was just a friend? Why would I tease?”

Gilbert rolled his eyes then got up and left the table.

“Could it be because you have a giant-ass crush on her? Could that be it, Gilby-goo?” he yelled as Gilbert flipped him off over his shoulder and left the room. He looked at his daughter and said, “Oops. Dellie, don’t talk like daddy. Unless you’re making fun of Gilbert. Then say whatever the hell you want.”

***

The topic was left alone for the rest of the day until they came in from the orchard for a late dinner.

“So. Tell me about this Anne.”

“She’s my friend.”

“But you want more.”

He chuckled slightly, “Just a bit.”

“So, you **do** have a crush on this friend of yours.”

“Yeah. You could say that.”

“I knew it!” Sebastian yelled and then danced around the room as Gilbert glared at him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Victory dance. You know how I love being right. So why don’t you do something about it?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Ha! I really doubt that.”

“I just don’t want to screw it up, okay? Let me figure it out.”

“Is she hot? Funny? Sexy? Smart? What does it for Gilbert Blythe?”

“Bash…” he groaned.

“Alright then, if you **had** to choose, what is the one word you would use to describe her?”

“Transcendent,” Gilbert said instantly.

“Wow,” Sebastian answered, shocked at his answer.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a picture I could see?” Sebastian asked. “I’d like to see the transcendent lass with the power to catch Sir Gilbert’s eye. If that girl at the Christmas party in Barbados didn’t do it for you, I can’t imagine who does.”

Gilbert scrolled through his phone and found a picture he had taken of Anne without her knowledge. It was a full-body profile shot of her standing on the pier in Charlottetown wearing skinny jeans and a dark green, oversized sweater. Her hair was wavy that day, and looked absolutely wild, blowing in the wind as she lifted her face to the sky with her eyes closed and her arms out to each side, seemingly surrendering to nature.

“Damn.”

“Ya-huh.”

“Here’s one where you can see her face better,” he said, showing him the picture he got when he walked to her and called her name. She turned her head and he captured the moment perfectly, with her eyes soft and her mouth slightly opened.

“Wow.”

“And here’s where she started yelling at me for taking pictures of her without permission.”

It was taken just seconds after the previous one, and her eyes were full of passion, her cheeks flushed red. Still beautiful, but energy was radiating off of her; you could practically feel the emotion through the screen.

“I bet she doesn’t take shit from anyone.”

“Least of all from me,” he said with a smirk. “Most my life girls have just told me what they think I want to hear. She doesn’t do that. She’s brilliant. And independent. And passionate. And strong. And she challenges me to be better.”

“She’s the one that knocked you out when you met, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, laughing.

Sebastian studied the smile on Gilbert’s face as he continued looking at the pictures on his phone.

“And how big is this crush you have on her?”

“Oh, you know...”

“Yeah, I think I do,” Sebastian laughed, recognizing the look on his face as the one that graced his own when he realized he was in love with Mary. “How long have you been in love with her, you moke?”

“Like, the whole time,” he said, blushing. “Shut up.”

“I’m not going to make fun of you for being in love, Gilbert. It takes a man to admit he’s in love. I’m proud of you.”

“Really?”

“Really. But if you take too long to do something about it. I will give you shit. A load of it.”

“Understood.”

“She was at Diana’s pool party, wasn’t she? Why didn’t you do something then?”

“There were many reasons, but mostly because she was wearing a swimming suit and I couldn’t look at her and speak at the same time.”

“Sexy little bikini?”

“Nope. And thank God for that or I probably would have collapsed.”

“You are pathetic.”

“I’m aware. Thank you for holding off so long on the teasing,” Gilbert said sarcastically.

“It was fun while it lasted, right?” Sebastian joked.

**Week 2:**

“What are you up to Anne?” Marilla asked her daughter, who was lounging on a chair near the fireplace.

“Just checking some text messages. Did you need my help with something?”

“Not yet. Who are you talking to?”

“Diana and Gilbert currently.”

“Gilbert. Oh my. I haven’t heard that name since-”

“It’s Gilbert Blythe, Marilla. When I talk about ‘Gil’? That’s who it is.”

Marilla gasped at the revelation.

“We met randomly at freshman orientation and as soon as he heard I was a Cuthbert from New London, he pieced together quite a bit of information.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Like, ‘Hi Marilla! Remember your dead ex-boyfriend you wanted to marry? Well, I’m best friends with his son. You know, the kid you would be caring for if things had gone differently and you didn’t end up adopting me.’”

“I’m sure you could have come up with a better delivery than that, Anne.” Marilla paused, reminiscing, and then asked, “Lord almighty, how is he?”

 _Perfect._ “Good, usually. Smart; does well in school. Nice guy, well-liked, talented, funny, attractive-” Anne’s voice drifted off into nothing. When she was brought back to reality by Marilla clearing her throat, she looked and saw her standing there with her eyebrows raised.

“Did I say too much? When should I have stopped so you wouldn’t have known that I have a bit of a crush on him?”

“Well, considering that you smiled and bit your lip when you said his name, probably after ‘Diana.’ Invite him over, Anne! It’s not that far and it would be wonderful to see him again. He was such a great kid. I’m so glad to hear that he grew up well.”

“You have no idea.”

Marilla laughed, “I can imagine. If he is anything like his father… well, I will only say I understand the appeal. So, will he be visiting?”

“I’m not really ready to invite him here. Things are good right now. I think I’m finally comfortable around him. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Except that you aren’t around him right now, Anne.”

“Meh- that’s just a technicality.”

**Week 3:**

**FW – Mobile**

_What is your favorite color?_

_Green. Why?_

_Just curious. Feels like something I should know._

_What’s yours?_

_Red usually. Sometimes blue._

_Hence the color of my room?_

_Ha. Yeah. Red isn’t a great color to  
paint an entire room in my opinion.  
So I went with blue.  
Is that weird?  
That I chose the paint color for your room?_

_No. I think it’s nice. I didn’t realize that  
the Cuthberts did any special prep for  
me before I got here. It’s nice to know  
the care that they put into making a  
special place for me. _

_What did she settle on for your bathroom?_

_Guess._

_Yellow?_

_Nailed it. Your choice?_

_No. I suggested brown. Poop brown._

_LOL no you didn’t._

_You’re right. I said yellow, like a sunflower._

_Such a poet._

_Right. Please keep thinking that because  
the truth is that I didn’t know any technical  
color names to describe what I was thinking of.  
I DO know crops though, and I knew Mari did  
too, so I went with that. _

_I always forget that you’re a farm boy.  
And that you call her ‘Mari.’ So weird._

_And I always forget that there’s this whole  
part of me that you don’t know. Most people  
I know ONLY know me as a farm boy.  
How would you describe me?  
Just curious._

_Bookish, sarcastic, music/doctor guy._

_Really?_

_Yeah, why? Are you disappointed?_

_Kind of. I sound super boring._

_That must be why I spend so much  
time talking to you._

_For sure, since you are such a  
dispassionate, bleak, pushover,  
ice woman.  
That makes sense.  
She’d be all over bookish sarcastic  
music doctor guy._

_YOU’RE NOT BORING!_

_Meh._

_We can’t both have low self-esteem Gil.  
That’s mine. I need you to be cocky super  
confident guy to balance me out._

_Or YOU could maybe start to realize how  
great you are and then you wouldn’t  
need to be ‘balanced out.’ You can’t lean  
on someone else for your confidence.  
Even though we both know I would  
totally let you._

_I’m trying._

_Quick- what’s the thing you like most about  
yourself, right now._

She paused. Her immediate answer was _How you make me feel._ He was right. She needed to find confidence in herself. She couldn’t use him as a crutch.

_I’m smart._

_That took you way too long. No way  
was that the first thing you thought of._

_Shut up. You don’t know me._

_Oh, I think I do, Carrots._

**Week 4:**

**FW – Mobile**

_UGH_

_You okay?_

_Just one of THOSE days._

_Same here. What triggered it?_

_Watched a movie where a guy dances  
with his mom at his wedding. Such a stupid  
basic thing that happens all the time.  
So cool that it destroys me. I feel like an idiot._

_You’re not an idiot. You know that._

_What got you?_

_Took a walk and saw some parents teach  
their little girl to ride a bike. Hid behind a  
building for a while and cried.  
You know. The usual._

_Am I just supposed to ignore the  
implication that you never learned  
how to ride a bike?_

_Yes you are._

_We will fix that, I promise._

_Don’t tell anyone please._

_Why would I tell anyone?  
And why would they care?_

_I’m 19 years old and I don’t know how to  
ride a bike!_

_Well, I’m 21 and all I can cook is pasta.  
And Bash is getting sick of it._

_We have some work to do._

_Agreed._

**Week 5:**

“Alright, you said you want to make pot roast?” Anne asked Gilbert over the phone.

“Yeah. Is it easy?”

“Super easy. You know it’s June though, right? This is kind of a winter meal.”

“It’s been sixty and raining for a week. And we’ve been outside working through all of it. I’m making the damn roast and you’re not going to make me feel bad about it. I’m at the grocery store. What do I need?”

“Baby red potatoes, chuck roast, yellow onion and… carrots.”

“But you’re all the way over in New London!” he said dramatically.

“Ha... ha… ha…” she replied, not impressed.

“I know. I’m hilarious. So, you’re saying I just need to get a roast.”

“You too good for the rest, or what?”

“We have a garden. We always have those other things.”

“And how was I supposed to know that?”

“Maybe I **should** come get you so you know who you’re dealing with.”

“Nothing like a threat to get me to come for dinner. Um, also you need some onion soup mix, browning sauce and corn starch.”

“K, thanks. I’ll call you when I get home.”

He facetimed her instead.

“Wow, I haven’t seen you in a while. You’re super tan.”

“You’re super not,” he laughed.

“Nope, I have a big straw hat that I wear in the summer. Goes well with the tube of sunscreen I apply every day.”

“You cut your hair.”

“Just my semi-annual trim. Speaking of which…”

“Yeah. My hair is kind of long, I know. Bash said my short hair made me look like I was still in high school, so I’m trying something.”

“Well, I think he’s wrong, but I like it long.”

“Yeah?” he asked, perhaps a little too hopefully.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “You look like a puppy.”

“A cute puppy?” he asked with a smirk.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day, Gilbert. I thought I was going to help you make a roast.”

“Right.”

She walked him through the simple steps and then said, “You know, you could have looked all this up on the internet.”

“That wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. How much salt and pepper do I need?”

“I don’t know; just throw some in.”

“That is not an acceptable answer to me,” Gilbert said.

“Hold me up so I can see it and start shaking, I’ll tell you win to stop.”

He did and when they had finished the salt and pepper he asked, “So not really a science then, huh?”

“No. It’s not. It’s very hard to screw up a roast,” Anne said. “Precision is important with baking. Less so with cooking. When you eat it, think about the modifications you’d like to make in the future and play around with it a bit next time.”

“How do you know how to do all this?”

“After years eating fast food in foster care, I wanted to know how to fend for myself. Worked out pretty well, because I help cook for the bed and breakfast.”

“You work at a bed and breakfast?”

“I **live** at a bed and breakfast,” she corrected him.

“How has this never come up before?” he asked, absolutely flabbergasted.

“No idea,” she said, wondering how this was new information to him. “Well, now you know.”

**FW – Mobile**

_Bash might ask you to marry him.  
Just a warning._

_Ha! So he liked the roast?_

_I think he cried tears of joy._

_Tell him to wait until he tries my chicken  
tikka masala.  
If he can handle the spice, we’ll talk._

_I’m the one doing the cooking!  
Why doesn’t anyone want to marry me?_

_Wait until you try my chicken tikka masala.  
If you can handle the spice, we’ll talk.  
Or just tell Bash you’re interested. He seems  
like a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll at least consider it.  
I mean you’re already living together.  
Seems the next logical step._

_Wow. I wasn’t expecting any of that._

**Week 6:**

**FW – Mobile**

_Are you going to the county fair?_

_Hell yes I am!_

_When are you going?_

_Not sure. You?_

_When you are.  
If you don’t mind._

_Wow. Okay. Great! Tomorrow at 10?  
Meet me at the mini donuts. _

_Which one?_

_The good one. And if you think I mean  
anything other than Tom Thumb our  
friendship is over._

_Wow. You are so serious about the  
strangest things._

_You’re such a hypocrite.  
Tell me again why the Hobbit Trilogy  
isn’t as good as the Lord of the Rings trilogy?_

_Well played._

_See you tomorrow, Gilbert._

_Good night, Anne._

***

He was there and waiting at 9:30, but he resisted getting in line for mini donuts until 9:50. After he paid, he stood there doing his best not to eat the donuts he bought for her and failed only three times. While he was looking around for Anne, he unfortunately found Winifred. She walked up to him and they chatted for a while. The conversation was fine enough until its conclusion.

“So, I was thinking,” she said flirtatiously, “If you’re not seeing anyone, and I’m not seeing anyone, should we go out and grab a drink this weekend?”

“No, we shouldn’t,” he said honestly.

“Well, why not? You **just** told me you weren’t seeing anyone!”

“I’m not, but that doesn’t mean I want to see you.”

“What is wrong with you?”

Suddenly, something caught his eye and he smiled.

“Gilbert! I just asked you a question! What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, um, nothing. Have a good day, Winnie.”

***

Anne would be lying if she said that seeing Gilbert with that beautiful blonde hadn’t made her jealous, but this was just something she would need to get used to. She became even more jealous when she saw the blonde place her hand on Gilbert’s crossed arms, clearly flirting with him. She grew concerned when she saw him furrow his brow, and her heart started racing when she made eye contact with him and his face absolutely lit up. There was no other way to describe it. And then he jogged toward her, with mini donuts.

_If that isn’t the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, kill me now._

“Can I hug you?” he asked quietly as he approached her. She nodded, ginning widely. He scooped her up into his arms and spun her around in the biggest hug she had ever received.

“Wow,” she said airily. “That was an amazing hug. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. Here are your donuts,” he said holding out the bag to her. “And I only ate three, for quality control, of course.”

“Of course,” she smiled back at him. “Thanks for making the sacrifice.”

“Anything for you,” he said jokingly, but he had never meant anything more in his life.

“Who were you talking to? You didn’t look very happy about it.”

“That was Winnie."

“ **Winnie** Winnie?” she asked, surprised at the revelation. She heard she was pretty, but she had underestimated her beauty, by a lot.

“Yeah.”

“Wow, she is **really** pretty!” Anne said honestly.

“Who cares?”

“Come on Gilbert, she is stunning.”

“Good for her.”

“What did she want?”

“Nothing important.”

“She asked you out, didn’t she?”

“Like I said, nothing important.”

“Do girls ask you out a lot?” she asked, trying to hide her discomfort with the conversation. She really was curious about it.

“That depends on your definition of a lot.”

She laughed, “If you need clarification, the answer is yes.”

“I’ve learned over time that quantity isn’t nearly as important as quality. In fact, quality is the only thing that matters. What about you? Do you get asked out a lot?”

She couldn’t help herself and burst out laughing, but when she looked at him, apparently, he was waiting for an answer.

“Oh! You’re serious. Sorry. No Gilbert, I don’t get asked out a lot. Ever, actually. Why would you assume that I do?”

“Because I know you, and guys are always coming up to me and asking if you’re single. I figured they would follow through.”

She brushed it off, “Oh Gilbert, those were probably just gay guys looking for an excuse to talk to **you**.”

He laughed and said, “I highly doubt that. What do you want to do first?”

“You don’t have any plans?” she asked, surprised.

“My only plan is to experience the fair Anne Cuthbert style.”

“Good to hear, because I’m kind of crazy regarding my fair traditions.”

“That’s kind of what I expected,” he said, smiling at her, “Lead the way.”

***

Anne practically danced into her house when she returned home that night.

“And how was your date with Gilbert?” Marilla asked.

“It wasn’t a date.”

“It was a scheduled outing with a man you are romantically interested in.”

“That may be true, but there was nothing romantic about it. I promise. But it was good. Really, really good. I had a really… a really, very good day. And I think he did too. He gets me, Marilla. I can be myself around him, completely, and he still wants to be my friend.”

“Be yourself completely… besides confessing your true feelings for him…” Marilla pointed out.

“Yep!”

“Well, I’m glad you had a good day. I really would like to see him again, Anne. He’s free to come here, at any time.”

“Thanks. Maybe someday.”

***

Gilbert got home and could not stop smiling.

“So…” Sebastian began mischievously “How was the big date?”

“It wasn’t a date. But had it been a date, it would have been the best one in the history of the world.”

“Maybe you should have made it a date, then.”

“Regardless, it was still perfect.”

“Probably could’ve been improved with a little kissing.”

“Kissing would’ve made it different, but I don’t think it would have necessarily made it better. God, she’s amazing. The world has done nothing to deserve that girl. And neither have I.”

“Wow, look at you,” Sebastian laughed. “You look like a cartoon. I can practically see little hearts floating around your body.”

“I don’t even care!” he said, giggling.

“I’m sorry, did you just giggle?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gilbert said, clearing his throat.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, idiot, I just drove home.”

“So you’re drunk on loooooooove,” Sebastian teased.

“Absolutely,” he confessed.

“So when are you going to make your move?”

“Well, that’s tricky. First of all, I have no moves,” Gilbert pointed out.

“Oh thank God, I thought I was going to have to be the one to break the news to you.”

“Second of all, I honestly am really happy with where our friendship is right now. I know that sounds lame, and I do want more with her. A lot more. But right now, I’m happy. Plus, if I make a move now it would just seem like, ‘Oh I was just your friend to get more from you’ and that’s not at all true. And I think it is even more important to her. To have my friendship right now. She didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, and I want to prove to her that I’m not going anywhere, and that her friendship… that she is valuable.”

“Afraid she’ll reject you?” Sebastian asked.

“So much,” Gilbert admitted.

**Week 7:**

**FW – Mobile**

_Are you ever afraid that it’s all going to vanish?  
And you’ll be left alone? Again?_

_Always. You?_

_Constantly._

_The Cuthberts aren’t going anywhere._

_Sebastian and Dellie aren’t going anywhere._

_Neither am I._

_Neither am I._

**Week 8:**

“Alright bartender, it’s Matthews birthday tomorrow and I’d like to make him a nice drink he can enjoy with his pipe. What do you suggest?” Anne asked Gilbert over the phone.

“Well, what does he like?” 

“No idea.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You’ve given me absolutely nothing to work with,” Gilbert laughed.

“Well, you know him, what do you think?”

“I don’t know him at all! I met him once, like eight years ago!”

“Hold on.”

He listened as Anne talked to Marilla.

“Marilla said he likes beer, whiskey and red wine.”

“Oh, is that Gilbert?” Marilla asked, “Tell him I say ‘hi’ and that he should come visit.”

“Marilla says ‘hi.’” Anne said, hoping that he didn’t hear the invitation and notice that she skipped it.

He noticed that she didn’t relay the invitation, but he couldn’t hold it against her. Sebastian had been saying the same thing all summer and he hadn’t invited her over.

“I say ‘hi’ back. Anyway. Any of those would be fine to enjoy with a pipe. I assume you are on a budget, so I’d suggest picking up a good dark beer. Oooh, get him Dragon’s Milk. It’s like dessert.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Gilbert laughed, “ **What**?!”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, that’s what I say to Diana.”

He kept laughing.

“Shut up, Gilbert! It was just a slip of the tongue. I need to go get this beer. I’ll let you know what he thinks.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, babe,” he teased.

“Gilbert Blythe!”

“What are you going to do Anne? I’m so much less afraid of you when you’re twenty miles away.”

“My memory is a steel trap, Gilbert, watch yourself.”

“You called me babe first, I’m just acting in kind.”

“Ugh, I need to go.”

“K. Bye **cutie-pie**.”

“Talk to you later, **sweetie**.”

“Not if I talk to you first, **honey**."

“This is making me gag, Gil, seriously, I’m going to vomit. I can’t go on. You win.”

He laughed and said quietly, “Bye, Carrots.”

 _Ahh,_ she sighed. _That’s better._ “Bye, Gilbert. Thank you for your help.”

“Absolutely. Any time.”

**Week 9:**

“Hello?” Anne answered the call weakly.

“What’s wrong?” Gilbert asked, immediately able to tell she was crying.

“Nothing,” she cried, “It’s not a big deal.”

“You’re right, I’m convinced. You sound super okay. Just tell me what happened, Anne.”

“I ran over a squirrel!” she sobbed. “And it died! I killed… an… animal!”

He tried not to smile and was so grateful that this conversation was happening over the phone so she wouldn’t hit him.

He gained his composure and said, “I’m sorry, Anne. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just tell me some boring medical shit to distract me for a while.”

“Oooh! I have a song all about the bones in the hand. Will that do?”

“Yeah. I think that’ll do,” she laughed.

***

Two days later she received a card in the mail.

On the front it said: _Sorry for your loss…_

She opened it up and read: _My dad said the squirrel forgives you._

She laughed and she cried. It was stupid and cheesy and ridiculous. But it helped. And it meant everything to her that he knew exactly what to do.

**Week 10:**

**FW – Mobile**

_I really miss you._

_We talk every day._

_It’s not the same._

_I know.  
I miss you too._

**Week 11:**

**FW – Mobile**

_You’re not living on campus?_

_No. I’m living with my friend Cole.  
It’s just off campus though.  
Close as you can get.  
I can’t wait for you two to meet.  
You are going to love him._

_How do you know?_

_Because you’re both awesome.  
And I have a gut feeling.  
And if you’ll remember, my gut is  
never wrong._

_You take a shot in the dark and predict  
one little friendship and then start calling  
yourself Nostradamus._

_Hey Carrots, was I wrong?  
Am I or am I not one of your best friends?_

_The best._

_Ha! I did it!_

**Week 12:**

**FW – Mobile**

_I can’t believe the summer is over._

_Same._

_Do you know what’s weird?_

_That it felt insanely long but super  
short at the same time?_

_YES.  
So you can just read my mind now?  
That’s not good…_

_Got some thoughts in there you don’t  
want me to know?_

_Yep._

_Like what? Might as well tell me.  
I’ll figure it out eventually._

_Fine.  
Here’s my big secret…  
…  
…  
…_

_Anne!_

_I really hate that yellow sweater you have.  
When we walk around together and  
you’re wearing that I feel like we look like  
ketchup and mustard._

_I have no words.  
But I am laughing very, very hard.  
I’ll get rid of the sweater._

_You don’t have to do that!_

_I know I don’t. But it’s just a sweater.  
I have absolutely no attachment to it  
either way. And I’d rather not have  
you look at me and grimace._

_I would never look at you and grimace.  
That’s ridiculous._

_I just gave it to Bash. He loves it.  
Looks better on him anyway.  
He sends his thanks._

_I feel like I should meet Bash._

_Maybe someday._

_You ashamed of me?_

_Hell no.  
There’s just things about me that I’d  
rather you learn from me instead of  
Bash bringing it up while he’s making  
fun of me._

_Wow. Cryptic. Color me intrigued,  
but I need to go. See you tomorrow!_

_See you. Have a good night._


	7. A Painting is Worth a Thousand Words and Sometimes a Kiss is Just a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne meets Cole and models for him. Cole becomes exasperated from spending a day with Anne and Gilbert and encourages Gilbert to confess his feelings for Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here it is, the much-anticipated story from Cole. And it's so long, I'm sorry. And I hope it lives up to the hype I’ve given it. You all saw last chapter that they grew closer and much more comfortable around each other and by now they are pretty open with each other, except for one major thing.
> 
> fyi- 'Punching above my weight': essentially saying you’re interested in someone who you perceive to be better than you.

“No, stop it. Get your tongues back in your own mouths. It’s my turn,” Cole said as he went over to freshen his drink. He also poured some Jameson into a second cup. “So, I’ll start with a bit of back story here. I met Gilbert freshman year when we had a couple of our generals together and we became pretty good friends as the year went on. He was kind of unique among the friends I had, because he wasn’t only supportive of my artwork, but always seemed genuinely interested in what I was working on. Since he was older than most the other freshman, the novelty of living in a dorm with them wore off by the end of freshman year and he mentioned one day that he was looking at other options for the next year. My parents bought a house for me to live in when I moved out here because they were worried about how I would be treated on campus. I was about to argue with them and say it’d be fine, but then I thought about waiting in line to shower and I didn’t really need any convincing. Matt lived with me freshman year, but since he moved out, the place was a little quiet, so I invited Gilbert to move in and he leapt at the opportunity because, let’s face it, who wouldn’t? Moody, Jerry and Charlie joined us the next year and I gotta be honest, I have never been part of such a tight group of guys. It was so much fun, even though I had wrongly assumed that living with a bunch of straight guys would be drama-free.”

“What are you talking about? We’re great!” Moody said.

“You **are** great Moody, though you were so jealous of the attention Gilbert received from girls that I thought you were going to poison him. Charlie, let’s face it, until Jane came along and set you straight, you were a fuckboy at best; I think there was a different girl in your room every weekend junior year.”

“Well, that’s not really fair,” Charlie defended himself, “I’m no ‘fuckboy;’ I only slept with two different women that year. It just seemed like more because Mandy liked wearing wigs and dressing up to keep things… fresh.”

“Well, that’s too much information,” Cole said. “And Jerry, the intensity of your obsession with Diana could only be rivaled by your paranoia that she was going to break up with you every single fucking day.”

Gilbert burst out laughing at the memory.

“Shut up Gilbert, you were the worst one of all of us!” Jerry said.

“At least Jerry actually asked Diana out!” Charlie agreed. “And Cole, he had every right to fear that Diana would break up with him. She is way out of his league.”

“Thanks for that,” Jerry said sarcastically.

“It’s true,” Cole said, “But somehow you two work together, so just don’t question it.”

“And I wasn’t **that** jealous of Gilbert,” Moody finally spoke up for himself. “It was just annoying to watch him complain about not having Anne when he could have had literally anyone else.”

“That’s not how it works!” Gilbert said. “You can’t just switch who you’re attracted to.”

“Tell that to the girls I took out after you rejected them after every single show.”

“Congratulations on your pity dates, dear,” said Ruby, patting his back condescendingly.

“Thanks, Rubes.”

“Jerry was right though, Gilbert,” Cole began again. “You were by **far** the worst. And you also lived with me the longest, so that was a special treat all by itself. And I just love that all your issues were self-inflicted. I don’t know what happened in your life that made you so confident with women yet so incapable of making a move when it matters, but it was fucking annoying. And I know this isn’t news to you. We’ve been talking about this since you moved in. But one time that sticks out to me in particular is the beginning of sophomore year, when Anne modeled for me.”

“You wouldn’t…” Gilbert warned him.

“I think the time has come, Gilbert,” Cole said, starting to laugh.

“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

“I said I wouldn’t tell anyone until it suited me to do so. It’s been almost three years since then and you are happily engaged. Pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out on this one. Can I get a future lawyer’s opinion on the matter?”

“That would be correct, Cole,” Jane interjected professionally. “Though that isn’t a perfect use of the term, I’ll allow it. Furthermore, secret stories may be disclosed when loose ends have been tied and/or when the storyteller can use said story to entertain good friends.”

“Thank you, counselor.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. McKenzie. Your witness.”

Cole finally offered Gilbert the whiskey he had poured and Gilbert immediately accepted and threw it back.

“So, I think you all remember the painting I did of Anne.”

“Uh, not us,” said Sebastian, referring to himself and Muriel. “We never saw it.”

Cole brought up the image on his phone and passed it to Sebastian and Muriel.

“Shit dude, you did that? Gilbert has had that print hanging up in his room for years now. I didn’t know one of his friends did it, that’s amazing.”

“Wow,” Muriel whispered, “Just, wow.”

“Thank you, I was very proud of that one and I’m eternally grateful to the model for letting me use her. So, I knew a bit about Gilbert’s infatuation with Anne. Because, let’s be honest, who didn’t? He hadn’t yet discussed it with me, but I’m not an idiot, it wasn’t hard to figure out what was going on there.”

“For most, anyway,” Diana added a dig at Anne.

“Oh, don’t I know it. I just want you all to know that I tried. I tried to make sense of the whole situation and I tried to get them together. But they fought against it so hard that I just gave up. You can’t help people who won’t help themselves.”

“Maybe we should’ve worked together,” Diana suggested.

“Well, we can’t change it now. But what I **can** do is tell you a story. It’s a delightful little story, if I do say so myself, full of intrigue and surprises.”

“Just get it over with, Cole,” groaned Gilbert.

“As you wish. I’m calling this story: _The Unattainable Girl._ Or, alternately titled,” he said, and then began laughing again, “ _The Day I Kissed Gilbert Blythe._ ”

Amid yells and screams of confusion and surprise, Gilbert sat there on the log, rubbing his eyes in embarrassment. Not because he had, in fact, kissed Cole. He didn’t care about that. It wasn’t even a bad kiss, really. He was embarrassed because he knew now that had he not chickened out, Anne likely would have said yes and the alternative would have been so much better.

********September, Sophomore Year********

Anne entered the coffee shop and looked around the room. There was only one guy who was sitting alone and he looked very tall and slightly ginger, so Anne was fairly confident she found who she was looking for.

“Excuse me, are you Cole?”

He stood to greet her. “Guilty as charged. And you are Miss Cuthbert. Please, join me,” he said, using his hand to gesture to the seat across from him as he sat back down.

“Wow, formal guy, yeah,” she said as she sat. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Anne. With an E.”

“The pleasure is entirely mine; I assure you. And I know all about the E. I live with Gilbert, remember? I think you’ll find that I know quite a bit about you.”

“All good, I’m sure,” she said sarcastically.

“Well, I know that you beat him up the day you met, that you are crazy smart and equally passionate, you don’t fawn over him and you waste no opportunity to put him in his place, so yeah, I’d say it is all good. Very good. In fact,” he said, placing his hand on his chest, “You, dear Anne… I think you are my spirit animal.”

She laughed. “And I think you have just earned a friend for life,” she said, relaxing back into her chair.

Anne was a bit nervous for this meeting. Gilbert thought so highly of Cole and now that they were living together, she was unsure what would happen to her friendship with Gilbert if she didn’t really get along with him. She was also concerned about her appearance, even more so than usual. She didn’t know how to dress when meeting someone who thought she was pretty enough to model for him, but she was certain he wasn’t impressed by what he was seeing this morning. She nearly slept through the meeting entirely and because of that didn’t even have time to shower. She just threw on some jeans and a sweater and after grimacing at the sight of her greasy hair, she pulled it into a low side braid and grabbed the hat Gilbert had left in her room as she ran out the door.

Alright, so he didn’t technically leave it there. It was an old newsboy hat that he found in his closet over the summer and Anne loved how he looked when wearing it so much that she couldn’t really handle it. So, instead of enduring it or, God forbid, telling him that he looked good in it, she made fun of him and stole it so she could wear it herself, because sometimes she was a little crazy and somehow that all made sense to her at the time. Also, she thought it looked quite good on her and the smile Gilbert gave her when he saw her wearing it, well, she didn’t let herself think what that smile could mean, because it looked like something impossible.

“I’ve got to be honest; I don’t really know what you do. Gilbert isn’t great with details.”

“He’s good with details when he cares about something.”

“So, he doesn’t care about you?”

“Not as much as he cares about you.”

“Yeah, well, juvenile as it may sound, he’s my best friend. We understand each other.”

“Probably more than you’d think.”

“Pardon?”

“Anne? What do you know about me?”

“Well,” she began slowly, “Your name is Cole Mackenzie, you are an artist and you live with Gilbert. I think he actually said you own the house, which is impressive if you don’t mind me saying. Also, you prefer tea to coffee. Gilbert yelled at me when I went to grab a bag when you were gone last weekend. And he said he thinks we’ll be good friends, so no pressure, right?”

“Well, I think he’s right. And you henceforth have my permission to drink my tea whenever you’d like. And my parents own the house, so don’t be too impressed. Do you mind if I tell you what I know about you?”

“I guess?”

“First of all, this,” he said, pushing a drink across the table, “is for you.”

“Wow, that really wasn’t necessary,” she said, surprised at the offering. She took a sip and said, “Thank you, this is perfect.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So what else has he told you about me and how dead will I need to make him for talking about me behind my back?”

“He doesn’t share any of your secrets if that’s what you’re worried about. You should know by now that he wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, I do,” she said halfheartedly. “Anyway, let’s hear it.”

“Your name is Anne Shirley Cuthbert, but you were born Anne Margaret Shirley. You changed your name when you were adopted by a woman and her brother in Avonlea. The woman used to date Gilbert’s father and Gilbert still feels bad that he didn’t take the opportunity to meet you when you were younger. Your favorite book is Pride and Prejudice, your favorite color is green, you don’t like talking about your past, you’re an amazingly loyal friend, very funny and incredibly intelligent. You and Gilbert study together every Friday night unless his ‘band’ is playing somewhere. Last night was a particularly late study session which is a little odd because we are only two weeks into the semester. Regardless, this is probably why you didn’t have time to shower this morning. You ran over a squirrel this summer and you taught him how to cook a roast, lasagna, steak and ham with scalloped potatoes. All over the phone, which I will admit is impressive. Should I keep going? I could do this all day.”

He looked at her while he took a sip of his tea and waited for a reply, but nothing came so he continued, “I told you; he’s good with details when he cares a lot about something… or someone.”

 _Alright,_ she thought, _it’s one thing for Diana to insinuate this shit, but I don’t even know this guy._ “I know he cares about me, Cole. I care for him as well. What are you trying to prove?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything. Just presenting the situation.”

“You still haven’t said what it is exactly that you do,” she said, trying to get them refocused.

“I’m a painter, though I enjoy sculpting from time to time as well. But for this project I will be painting you.”

“Sorry, painting **me**? Or painting my image on a canvas? I’m really out of my depth here.”

“No, that’s actually a good question. I will be painting your image on a canvas.”

“And you need a model and for some incomprehensible reason it has to be me?”

“Yes, it must be you. I remember seeing you around last year and, not to sound creepy, but I’ve been waiting for the perfect reason to paint you and the time has finally come. The assignment is ‘Elemental’ and I have an amazing idea that you are absolutely perfect for,” he explained.

“That actually sounds like it could be pretty interesting.”

“Just one question for you: How comfortable are you being naked?”

“Not even a little bit,” she said quickly and took a drink. “What’s your backup plan?”

He chuckled and said, “God, I’ve known you for five minutes and I can already see why he loves you so much.”

“I’m sorry, who loves me?”

“Gilbert.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said, rolling his eyes at her obliviousness to his friend’s feelings for her.

“I told you, and I’m sure he has as well, we’re just friends.”

“Sure. Anyway, I’m sorry, I should have been clearer. I would never ask you to be completely naked. If you could wear a swimsuit or underwear and a bra, that would work fine. Also, I’m super gay, so I won’t be like, checking you out or using this as an excuse to see you naked. This is purely platonic appreciation of your exquisite characteristics. And your lady bits won’t even be painted or seen, you’ll be sitting, kind of in a ball. Everything private will be blocked, I promise.”

“That does actually help. Gil said there might be compensation?”

“Yeah. Of course. Five hundred dollars.”

“What?!” she yelled and the other patrons looked over at her in surprise. She lowered her voice and continued, “Just for an assignment? Are you kidding me? I can’t accept that kind of money!”

“Okay, so a couple more things you should know about me that Gilbert has apparently not mentioned. This is technically for an assignment, but I’m a bit of a savant and have already had some commercial success. Also, I’m loaded and it’ll be worth every penny. I actually think I’m getting quite the deal so I’d like to also offer you 25% of the commission if I sell it and, not to sound too arrogant, I really don’t think selling it will be a problem.”

“Holy shit,” she said with her eyes wide open and her mouth agape.

“What can I say? You’re imperative to my vision. Do we have a deal?”

“Hell yeah we have a deal!” she said and reached out to shake his hand. “When are we doing this and how naked do you want me?”

He laughed, “If you could wear nude colored underwear or bathing suit, that would be perfect. I need to see your arms, shoulders, and legs the most, and I just don’t want to be distracted by bright colors or patterns, does that makes sense?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

“And I was thinking next Saturday, 10 AM? That way we’ll get the best light into the basement. Sounds sketchy, I know, but I promise it’s nice down there. And Gilbert will be home so you won’t just be trapped in a basement with some strange dude.”

 _Just some strange dude and his roommate I’m secretly in love with. Yeah, that’s not better,_ she thought.

He continued, “And that will give you plenty of time to sleep in when your Friday night ‘study session’ inevitably runs into the wee hours of the morning.”

“Gilbert won’t be watching, will he?” she asked nervously, biting her lip.

“No. Not unless you want him to be,” he said with a smirk.

“Why would I want that?” she asked too quickly.

“No reason. No reason at all.”

“Quick question: Why did we meet here instead of at your house?” she asked. “Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

“Maybe, but I wanted to be sure I had your full attention.”

“And why do you assume you wouldn’t have my full attention at your house?” she challenged him.

“No reason. No reason at all,” he repeated himself, trying not to laugh.

***

Anne couldn’t help but be bothered that Cole had said Gilbert loved her. The ten-minute walk to her room set her straight though; they were best friends, of course he loved her.

“Diana!” she said as she walked through the door. “We need to go shopping for underwear!”

“Excellent! Why?”

“Gilbert’s roommate Cole is paying me five hundred dollars to model for him!” she said excitedly. “And I need some nude colored underwear to do it.”

“There is not a single part of that sentence that doesn’t concern me,” she said, grabbing her keys. “You explain, I’ll drive.”

Anne explained on the way to the store and Diana couldn’t help but smirk.

“So, any chance you’re going to accidentally on purpose let Gilbert see you like this?”

“God no! Why would I want to scare him even further away?”

“Further away? You spend nearly every waking moment together that you can. And some non-waking moments.”

“I fell asleep watching a movie with him one damn time, Diana. That does not count as sleeping with Gilbert. Trust me. And I would like to keep spending a lot of time with him, so no, he will definitely **not** be seeing this scrawny mess of pale limbs and freckles.”

“Did you not see him staring at you at my party at the end of last year? Maybe he’d **like** to see more of you.”

“Maybe he was appalled by the sight.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m a realist, that’s all. And we’re in a really good place right now. I’m genuinely comfortable around him, most the time anyway, and he gets my orphan abandonment crap. I don’t want to mess it up. Let’s just forget my tiny crush and let it be.”

“We’re back to tiny crush?” Diana asked her doubtfully.

“We both know the truth; we don’t need to give it power by talking about it.”

“So we’re treating your love for Gilbert like Voldemort then?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” Anne dared her.

“Nope. Just making sure we’re on the same page. And to quote my girl Hermione, ‘Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.’”

“I’m not afraid of love, Diana.”

“You’re afraid of something.”

“That would be rejection, Diana. I’m afraid of rejection. And of losing one of the first real friends I’ve ever had. It’s not worth the risk.”

“I hope you change your mind someday. I think you two could be happy together.”

“And I think you are an exceptionally kind friend who refuses to realize I’m punching way above my weight.”

***

They spent about an hour in the store, and after finding something that suited their needs, they paid and left.

“I’m sorry Anne, but I can’t help but notice that you picked out some of the sexiest stuff in there. You may as well be naked.”

“Well, Cole requested nude colored and I didn’t have a lot of options. For bottoms it was granny panties, a G-string or these cheeky mesh and lace ones. Hardly a decision to make there, right? And then why not throw in the matching bra?”

“Because it is barely more than a shelf! And the tiny bit of cup that exists is mostly sheer!”

“The lace covers what needs covering. I promise. You need to remember how small my boobs are. Please don’t make me feel bad about this. I think it’s hot and I want to feel good about myself. Confident. This bra actually makes me look like I have boobs. It’s great!”

“You’re not wrong. It’s hot as hell. I just don’t get who you’re wearing it for!” Diana said, laughing.

“I’m wearing it for me, dammit, which is more than I can say for that red corset you just bought.”

“This is the year, Anne. I’m on the hunt and I want to be ready when I capture my prey. Also, this corset is going to work great for my Halloween costume.”

“Nothing like being prepared,” Anne teased.

“Exactly. And I’m proud of you, really. It takes confidence to wear underwear like that in front of someone, even platonically speaking, and I know you’ve been trying to work on that. And I want to believe you got that for you, and most of me does, but when it all boils down, you will be essentially naked and in the basement of your best friend’s house who you have been in love with for over a year now.”

“So?”

“So you’ve read enough romance novels to know that there is only one way that story ends,” Diana said with a teasing smile.

“I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine, Di. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a romance novel and I assure you I will come out of that house as single as I am going in.”

***

A week passed and the big day came. Anne didn’t oversleep, despite being up very late the night before, and woke with plenty of time to prepare herself. She showered, taking extra time to exfoliate, shave, moisturize and any other thing she could think to do to make her feel as pretty as she could. After further discussion with Cole over text, she was instructed to wear her hair down and natural and he had also requested no makeup which she was kind of mad about, but what could you do. She put on the lingerie and braced herself before looking in the mirror. She opened her eyes and was shocked when what she saw didn’t horrify her. In fact, she almost thought that she looked good.

“How’s it going down there?” Diana called down from her lofted bed where she was reading.

“Is it weird that I want your opinion? You can say no. I won’t be mad.”

“I’m full of opinions Anne, if you want mine, I’ll give it.”

“Take a look then. I figure if you see me first, I’ll be more comfortable in front of Cole.”

Diana looked down and gasped, “Damn. Look at you!”

“Really?” she asked with a hopeful smile.

“Would it be wrong for me to call Gilbert and tell him to try to sneak a peek?”

“Um, yeah. Super wrong.”

“Ugh. Fine. You chose well though. And you look confident. Do you feel good?”

“Yeah. I do actually. I just need to stay out of my head while sitting there.”

“Take some wine.”

“Always the problem solver,” Anne said as she slipped on a skirt and a sweater and grabbed a couple mini bottles of wine. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. I have no idea how long it takes to art.”

“Bye, beautiful! Have fun!”

***

**Princess Di– Mobile**

_What the hell kind of painting does  
your roommate have planned?_

_No idea. Why?_

_Just wondering. He’s a good guy, right?_

_Why would I live with a terrible person?_

_Just tell me he is trustworthy, please._

_He is. Is everything okay?_

_Yeah. If he’s a good guy, then we’re okay._

_Do you think I would suggest Anne  
do this with someone who couldn’t  
be trusted?_

_No. Good point. Never mind. I was over-reacting._

_I don’t get what you were over-reacting to.  
She’s just letting him paint her.  
And he’s a really good guy.  
What is the problem?_

_No problem._

_I’m so confused._

_Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.  
You want to go get brunch or something?_

_No. Cole requested I stay here to  
make sure that Anne is comfortable._

_You aren’t going to watch, are you?_

_I hadn’t planned on it.  
I have studying to do._

_Which you should have done last night but  
you were busy flirting with Anne._

_I wasn’t flirting.  
We were just hanging out._

_Till 3 AM.  
For the third week in a row._

_Shut up. We had a lot to talk about._

_You always do._

_Am I supposed to watch or what?_

_Ha! No. You aren’t. She didn’t seem at all  
worried about it. That’s all just me being  
paranoid._

_I’m still so confused._

_Let it go and go learn about some bacteria._

_Unfortunately it’s o-chem today._

***

Anne took deep breaths as she walked across campus to Gilbert and Cole’s house and knocked on the door. After a few moments, Gilbert opened it, looked down at her, and as always, her breath caught in her throat.

He smiled and said, “You don’t need to wait for us to come to the door. Just knock and come in, you know that.”

“Pardon me for not wanting to interrupt whatever it is you two get up to over here.”

“Homework, eating and sleeping?” he asked as he held the door open for her so she could enter. “You’re right. Interrupting that would be a terrible violation of our friendship.”

She followed him through the house to the kitchen as she explained, “Well, the last few times I was over here, he wasn’t. I don’t want to act too entitled.”

“You’ve never acted entitled a day of your life.”

“You’ve only known me for a year.”

“Yet I still know that I’m right. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Cole is downstairs getting set up,” he said pointing to the door to the basement. “Do you want me to walk you down?”

“No!” she yelled and he flinched at the outburst. “I mean, that’s not necessary. Sorry to snap at you like that.”

 _Are all the girls crazy today?_ he wondered. _Even if they are, it doesn’t hurt to check._ “I don’t know what he has in mind, he hasn’t talked about it at all, but are you comfortable being alone with him? If you’re not I could study downstairs, it’s no problem.”

“I would really, **really** rather you not. Cole has been great. And I’m plenty comfortable around him. I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“K. Just text me if you change your mind.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “I swear on everything that is holy that I will not request your presence.”

“Should I be offended?”

“No. Just trust me on this one.”

“K. Well, have fun. I’ll order some pizza for lunch and I’ll let you guys know when it arrives.”

***

“Cole?” she called down to the basement.

“In here!” he called from a door at the bottom of the stairs. “Good morning, dear muse.”

Anne laughed, “No pressure, huh?”

“None at all. The inspiration has already struck, now it just needs illustrating.”

The house was modest, bought purely for its location, but it was clear that Cole had access to some money. This was no makeshift art studio. They were in the basement, sure, but you could hardly tell with the amount of light streaming through the three newly installed egress windows. The walls were all a warm, creamy white and the floor was once concrete painted gray, but had been spattered by various paints over time, which Anne found absolutely beautiful.

“Wow,” she said breathlessly. “This place is wonderful. I had no idea this was down here.”

“Well, Gilbert is good at respecting my space and I don’t really like people coming in here when I’m not around. It’d be a little weird if he said, ‘You should see Cole’s studio- you’re going to love it, but oh, wait, you can’t.’”

“Yeah, I suppose it would,” she said, only half paying attention while looking at the paintings hanging on the walls.

“You can’t tell from those, but I promise, I’m at least a little talented.”

“Oh, I can tell. And I know I made it sound like Gilbert doesn’t talk about you, but I assure you he has made a point of mentioning how talented you are. On many occasions.”

“That’s actually kind of nice to hear.”

“Well, he’s a nice guy,” Anne explained. “So, you said the assignment was just ‘Elemental’? That’s all you have to go off of?”

“Yeah. From what I’ve heard, most my classmates are going with the periodic table elements, but I’m thinking earth, wind, water, fire.”

“I’m still not seeing how I fit in, but to be honest, art has never really been my thing. I mean, I can appreciate it and all, but as far as talent and creativity in the subject go, I’m lacking.”

“Sounds like you share that with Gilbert. But don’t worry, from everything I’ve heard about you, you are not lacking in much. Are you ready to get started?”

“Yep, if you are.”

“Clothes off babe, into the sandbox you go.”

“What the hell do you have a sandbox for?”

He looked at her like she was an idiot. “This!” he said bluntly.

“Right. Of course. Just a second,” she said as she took a mini wine bottle out of her purse. She chugged it and then took off her sweater and skirt and placed it next to her purse on the chair by the door.

“I don’t want you doing this if you’re that uncomfortable. No amount of money is worth that, Anne.”

“I’m really not uncomfortable. And I know this underwear is a little over the top, but I wanted to feel good about myself today and I think I’m succeeding. I don’t hate how I look right now, which is actually progress, believe it or not, and I modeled it for Diana, and I trust her opinion more than my own. Regarding this anyway. The wine is just so I relax and stay out of my head while a guy stares at me for a few hours while I’m nearly naked.”

“Oh, ok. I think that makes sense.”

“It does to me, and I think that’s all that matters right now. I’ve never dated anyone before and I don’t sleep around; you’re the only guy to ever see this much of me and even if you’re gay, you’re still a guy, and it’s all new to me.”

“Well, I consider myself lucky then, and I can tell you with certainty that you are incredibly beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she said, and for the first time, she didn’t refute the compliment, or even claim that she didn’t agree. She didn’t really accept it either, but she let it be regardless. “So, I’m just supposed to hop in then?”

“Yeah, just sit in the middle and I’ll tell you what I need you to do,” he said and then explained to her how to sit.

“Do you want a heater or a fan or anything?”

“Heater please, I’m always cold.”

“Alright,” he said. He went to get the heater, plugged it in and turned it on. “You should feel that soon.”

As he painted, they got to know each other. Cole was from wealthy family on the west coast and had followed a boyfriend out to school here. The relationship didn’t last, but it was still a tremendous art school and he was happy. Over the next couple hours, they laughed and joked around, a true friendship forming almost instantly and it didn’t take Anne long at all before she was genuinely comfortable to be in front of him like this.

“So, tell me about how you met Gilbert, I’ve heard the story from him, but I’d like to hear your point of view.”

She told him the story and afterward he said, “Your version is so much better. I can tell you’re the storyteller of the couple. Sorry, I mean of the two of you.”

He watched her face as she seemed to ignore the mistake, or rather, his completely intentional slip of tongue, and move on.

“Yeah, our initial meeting was a bit rough, but thankfully he’s a persistent pain in the ass and insisted on being my friend regardless. Speaking of which, my ass fell asleep a while ago, can I move around for a minute?”

“Yeah, sorry, I had planned to give you breaks but we were talking so much and I completely forgot about it. My apologies.”

“No problem,” she said as she stood up and brushed the sand from her legs. “Ahhhh that’s better, can I see what you’re working on?”

“No, not yet, sorry. It’s part of my whole process thing.”

“No worries, your art, your rules,” she said as she reached her arms up over her head to stretch out her back. She walked over to her things to check her phone and was nearly to the door when there was a light knock.

Gilbert poked his head in and said, “Hey the pizza is-“

“Gilbert!” she shouted in surprise.

“Shit Anne Sorry!” He barely had time to remove his head before she slammed the door shut on him, pressed her back against it and silently screamed “Fuck!” as she looked at Cole, who was trying as hard as he could not to laugh. Really, he was, but he couldn’t stop himself and was soon doubled over.

For his part, Gilbert was on the other side of the door banging his head against the wall as he muttered, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” He finally croaked out “The pizza is here!” and then they heard him run up the stairs.

“This is **not** funny!” Anne scolded Cole as she pulled out another mini wine bottle and then asked, “Do you think there’s any chance he didn’t see me?”

“Anne, you were standing a meter in front of him. No. There is no way he would miss that. I’m sure he appreciated the view though.”

“Well, there goes that friendship.” She held up the bottle to Cole in a mock toast and downed it and threw the empty back into her purse. “And I’d just like to send a big shout out to the universe that sent him down here in the two-minute time frame where I wasn’t curled up in a ball and completely hidden. I mean seriously. What the fuck sort of inopportune timing is that?”

“Please, that boy’s not going anywhere, if anything this has just made things slightly more interesting. And maybe consider for a minute that the universe might know what it’s doing.”

“The only thing I will consider is that the universe is drunk.”

“Why don’t you get cleaned up. There’s a bathroom right over there, then if you want, there’s a robe hanging in there that you can use so you don’t get your clothes all sandy.”

“And whose robe is it?”

“Gilbert’s.”

“Yeah. No thanks. I’ll just put my clothes back on.”

“Suit yourself. Come up to eat when you’re ready.”

“Sure, I’ll come up when I’m ready to face my former best friend and his recent me-induced blindness. You will see me in exactly never,” she said as she walked to the bathroom.

She closed the door and did some deep breathing. She looked at herself in the mirror and tried to conjure the confident woman who stared back at her earlier. This was not the end of the world. She wouldn’t let it be. Gilbert had seen ads for lingerie, hell, he was a 21-year-old guy, surely he had seen a dirty magazine that had shown much more. Yes, it’s different when it’s someone you know, and maybe she would change a few things if she could, but it’s not like she was grotesque. She was at least ‘normal,’ whatever normal meant. She grabbed a washcloth and washed her legs off and then washed her hands. On her way out of the bathroom she paused as she saw Gilbert’s robe hanging by the door. She almost considered putting it on, just to see what would happen. She blamed this idea on the wine in her otherwise empty stomach. Sanity prevailed, however, and after everything that just occurred, she wanted something on her that couldn’t possibly fall open, so she quickly put her clothes back on and went upstairs.

***

Cole shut the studio door on his way out and shut the door at the top of the stairs as well in an effort to provide a sound barrier.

“Gilbert, what the fuck was that?”

“You didn’t tell me she would be naked!” he yelled.

“She wasn’t naked, Gilbert,” Cole said calmly. “She’s was in her underwear. You’ve said you’ve seen her in a swimsuit. It’s the same thing.”

“Says the gay guy. Flesh colored lacey and meshy material is not at all the same as a swimsuit. And the swimsuit was a one piece! And she had one of those wrappy things around her waist when she wasn’t in the water! And I could barely handle that!”

“Well, that sounds like a personal problem. And those “wrappy things” are called sarongs. You know you could actually do something about it. Like maybe tell your best friend that you’re in love with her.”

“Shh! It’s just a-”

“No, Gilbert it’s not. You’ve been in love with her since you met her. Don’t stand here and treat me like an idiot. I don’t get why you don’t just do something about it. Telling yourself that it’s just a crush isn’t going to make you less in love with her and you’re certainly not convincing anyone that you are anything other than absolutely gone for her.”

“I can’t tell her. She’d just laugh it off.”

“I don’t think she will.”

“Why? Did she say something?” Gilbert asked, instantly embarrassed for sounding like a fifteen-year-old.

Cole laughed and said, “No, but I have eyes. And intuition. If she were only your best friend, neither of you would have reacted to that the way you did.”

“Well, excuse me for not wanting to see her naked without her permission.”

“Are you really mad about it though?”

“Yes! At least before I could pretend that she was covered in oozing boils or suffering from necrotizing fasciitis.”

“Gross. You did that?”

“Only in extreme situations,” Gilbert admitted.

Cole laughed and said, “Dude, calm down. She is clearly an attractive woman. It’s okay that you think so, even if you are her best friend. Just stop freaking out about it or she is going to freak out about it. She already assumes that this situation has ruined your friendship, so maybe just focus on that. Prove to her that it doesn’t matter. You’re both mature adults, are you not?”

“When it comes to her? No; I’m a child that can’t even figure out which way is up.”

“Well, at least you know it.”

Anne entered the room silently and went straight to the fridge to get a beer, opened it and took a long drink.

“Gross,” she said, “This is awful.”

“Yeah, but it was cheap,” Gilbert justified and, unable to meet her eyes, sat down with Cole at the table.

As Anne stood there, she figured that there were two ways she could handle this. She could be embarrassed that he had seen her, and she was, but even though the situation made her uncomfortable, Gilbert had on multiple occasions said she was attractive and Cole and Diana had both said she looked good in the lingerie she bought, so even if Gilbert didn’t agree, he was in the minority. Her second option was that she could just let it go and sit down and eat with her friends with no further discussion. The situation was obviously awkward; that didn’t mean they had to talk about it.

After weighing her choices, she obviously chose secret option number three: rage.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” she yelled at him. Gilbert winced as he sat there, and Cole observed that it seemed as if this was what he was expecting.

“I was thinking that you would be wearing clothes,” Gilbert answered, trying to keep his voice even.

“Tell me, Gilbert, did we or did we not just talk about knocking on a door and waiting for it to be answered?”

“Tell me, **Anne** , did I or did I not say that waiting wasn’t necessary here?”

“So, if I were in the bathroom, you would knock and just barge in?”

“Of course not!” he said, rising out of his chair to meet her, “But you weren’t in the bathroom! You were in an art studio with a guy you met a week ago. Sorry to assume that you would keep your clothes on!”

“If you are in any way insinuating that I’m a slut I swear to god I will-”

“Please,” he scoffed, “There’s no way in hell you actually believe I would call you a slut. Are you fucking kidding me? It’s just that no one ever said you were going to be naked! If you maybe said, ‘Hey, Gilbert, I’m not going to be dressed, please don’t come down here.’ I would have probably listened and yelled down instead.”

“So, when I said, ‘I really, **really** rather you not join us,’ what exactly did you think I meant by that? Did you interpret that as an invitation to join us whenever you felt like it?”

“I **didn’t** join you! And I honestly didn’t think about it at all! Diana texted me all cryptic this morning to make sure that Cole was a good guy and that you were comfortable and I got worried. When I was talking to you when you got here, I was only checking to make sure you were comfortable. That was my only concern.”

“I don’t need you to check on me! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!”

“I know that! But I’m going to do it anyway!”

“And I wasn’t naked!”

“Close enough. Are you dating someone? Why do you even own that?”

“ **For this!** Not that it is any of your business, but I got this underwear for this. Cole requested flesh toned underwear and this is the only thing they had that I was comfortable in. I thought it looked good and I wanted to feel confident as I sat there with a near stranger staring at my body. Is it so wrong that I picked out something that helped me accomplish that?”

“I’m not even going to answer that because I know my opinion is irrelevant. I just honestly don’t get why you’re so mad at me. It was a simple mistake and I left as soon as I could. I certainly didn’t do it on purpose and it’s not like I had some adverse reaction to seeing you! Also, what the fuck? Cole stared at you like that for a couple hours and then suddenly you’re all shy just because I see you for three seconds?”

“He didn’t stare at me like that! I was balled up and completely covered!”

“Again! How am I supposed to know that?”

“You don’t need to know that! And you came down at the exact right time to see absolutely everything! What the actual fuck?!”

“Don’t blame me! Blame Parker!”

“Who the fuck is Parker?”

“The pizza delivery girl!”

“Who you are **of course** on a first name basis with. God, is there **anyone** who doesn’t want you?”

“Yes,” he said, glaring at her as they both stood there catching their breath. The silence hung in the air for a minute until Gilbert finally asked, “Are we done?”

She took a deep breath and said, “Yeah. I’m good. You?”

“Sit down and eat, I know you didn’t have breakfast today.”

They sat down and started eating while Cole stared at them. “I’m sorry, but what the hell was that?”

“What?” Gilbert asked.

“That whole scene I just witnessed.”

“We argue. I told you that,” Gilbert said. “Completely normal.”

“Sure it is.”

“It is,” Anne confirmed. “It’s a fun and effective way for us to communicate. Though I’ll admit it’s been a while; I think we can do better.”

“It’s pretty fucked up if you ask me,” Cole said.

“No one is asking you,” Anne and Gilbert both responded.

“You both are very weird.”

“Yep,” they answered together.

“So, it’s just over now? You’re not upset that he saw you dressed, or rather, undressed like that?”

“Oh, absolutely I am, but what can I do about it now? If I could pretend it didn’t happen, I would, I promise, but I unfortunately can’t. I am fully aware that I’ve probably scarred him for life after being subjected to the view, but you and Diana said I didn’t look terrible, so I’m just trying to focus on that.”

“There’s nothing about the way you look that could scar me for life,” _at least not in a bad way,_ he finished in his head. “My reaction was just me being shocked at seeing so much of you without your permission or intention. I’m probably going to feel bad about it for years.”

“Well aren’t you just the sweetest,” Cole said.

Gilbert glared at him and they were all quiet for a moment as they ate the pizza.

“So,” Anne began thoughtfully, “I’m in a house with two guys who are fully dressed and I just took my clothes off for money. Does that make me a stripper?”

“That depends,” Gilbert said seriously. “Did you dance?”

“No, I shivered a bit until Cole got the heater turned on, but none of my best moves are suited for the classical music Cole listens to.”

“Well, then I’d say you remain in the model category,” Gilbert decided.

“Good. I didn’t look forward to sharing that with Marilla.”

“Out of curiosity, what music are your best moves suited for?” Cole asked.

“Straight up gangsta rap,” she said as seriously as she could and both the guys laughed. “So, Cole? Has Gilbert ever modeled for you?”

“Hell no,” Cole answered.

“He hasn’t even asked,” Gilbert said, feigning offense.

“Well, maybe I would if you looked more like her.”

“I know she’s prettier than me, you don’t need to be mean about it,” Gilbert joked, but Cole notice the blush on Anne’s cheeks as Gilbert looked down at his phone that had just buzzed. He rolled his eyes and flipped his phone over so he wouldn’t see anymore of the notification lights.

“What’s that about?” Cole asked, slightly concerned.

“Just Bash reminding me that I should start going to the gym again or I’ll never get a girlfriend. Not exactly a message I want to read after just being told I’m not pretty, but we can’t all be lingerie models, can we Anne?”

Cole laughed and after rolling her eyes Anne took a moment to check out her best friend, not that she didn’t know what he looked like, but why not take advantage of the opportunity? Even with a critical eye, she was having trouble finding anything that needed improvement.

“He sounds like a dick,” Anne said.

“He’s not. It’s just his way of hiding that he’s concerned about my health. We used to jog together and when I was home for the summer, I only went with him a couple times and it was really embarrassing. He thinks it’ll motivate me if he adds a girl to it.”

“And does it?” Cole asked, smirking.

“Shut up, Cole,” he said, embarrassed. “I just need a workout buddy, someone to keep me accountable.”

“Anne, why don’t you go with him?” Cole asked.

“Wouldn’t you rather go with one of your guy friends?” she asked as casually as she could.

“I already asked them all and they’re all busy or not interested, and honestly, no, I’d rather go with you if you’re into it. We don’t have any classes together anymore now that we’re through our generals and I miss you. So, if you’re interested, I was thinking of going every day at seven.”

“In the morning?!” she yelled.

“Yes. Will that not work for you?”

“Only if you’re willing to risk it. If seeing me nearly naked didn’t ruin our friendship, dealing with me before nine in the morning certainly will.”

“Meh, we’re not that close anyway,” he joked and Anne laughed.

“I’m only going three days a week though.”

“What about the other two days?”

“I don’t care. You’re on your own. No, Gilbert, put those damn puppy dog eyes away and stop pouting. I have an early class on Tuesdays and Thursdays there is no amount of coercion that can work here.”

Cole sat there with his chin resting in his hand propped up on the table just enjoying the show. No one had said anything for well over thirty seconds as he watched Gilbert and Anne steal glances at each other between bites of pizza.

“Anne, I think we’re all ready for you to take your clothes off again,” Cole said.

Gilbert shot him a look that he was fairly certain threatened his life.

“Fine. I’m ready. As long as it won’t throw you off that I just ate five pounds of pizza.”

“Unless you’re wearing the pizza on your face, I don’t give a damn.”

“Thanks for the pizza, Gil.”

“Wait, does that mean you’re not chipping in? You’re making five hundred dollars today!”

“And you got to see a nearly naked woman. You wanna run that by me again about not chipping in?”

“You can’t play the both the victim and the manipulator, Anne.”

“Sure I can,” she argued. “I think I’m actually really good at it. I’m gonna run to the bathroom and I’ll be back in the box in a minute Cole.”

After she descended the stairs Cole dreamily said, “And then they kissed! Mwah!”

“Please. We were just having lunch.”

“You two are unbelievable. I’ve never been in a room with this much unresolved sexual tension. It’s like fucking syrup in here.”

“You’re seeing things, Cole.”

“Yeah, the truth. I’m pretty sure she wants you.”

“She couldn’t possibly.”

“Because you’re kind, funny, smart, ambitious, respectful, supportive and attractive? You’re right. What could she possibly find appealing about all that?”

“It’s not enough.”

“Did she say that or are you saying that?”

“You’ve gotten to know her, right? Am I wrong? Isn’t she just a little bit out of my league? Out of everyone’s league?”

“She’s remarkable, yes, but she’s just a person Gilbert. A human person. Let her make the decision regarding who she thinks is good enough for her. You’re smart, but you don’t know everything, and I think you know very little about what’s going on in her head… or her heart. Do you honestly not see what is happening between you two with the fighting?”

“What do you mean?”

“How often do you fight?”

“We don’t fight. We debate and argue.”

“Whatever you call it, how often do you do it?”

“I guess I don’t really keep track, once, twice a week? This was our first big argument since last spring though, I guess, but arguing is kind of a big part of our relationship.”

“Oh, I’ll be it is.”

“What are you getting at, Cole?”

“Just one more question. Is it ever like a real fight or do you two always just laugh it off at the end and relax into conversation?”

“We never leave a situation actually mad at each other, no, it’s all just for fun.”

Cole started laughing hard. “Oh my god, Gilbert how slow can you be? I’m willing to bet that you feel a little lighter after these arguments?”

“Out with it!”

“You’re replacing the physical part of your relationship with fighting.”

“What?”

“Instead of making out, you fight with each other to relieve… tension.”

“What?”

“You and Anne fight so much because you aren’t having sex!”

“What?!”

“Think about it for a minute, have you ever had a relationship like this with anyone? You say you’re close with Diana, and that she calls you on your crap too, but do you ever fight with the heat and passion you do with Anne? No need to respond. I know the answer.”

“Oh my god,” Gilbert said as he slumped down into his chair. “This is not good. Does she know this?”

“No. Neither of you idiots know anything and you’re completely oblivious to everything. I need to get downstairs, but this conversation isn’t over, young man.”

***

When Cole got downstairs, he found Anne playing in the sandbox.

“Goodness, you are adorable.”

“Yep, I’m fucking precious as can be,” she said with a smile as she destroyed the _I_ ❤ _GB_ she had written in the sand by pounding it with her fists. “Do you guys argue a lot?”

“Hardly ever, why?”

“Isn’t that what you were just doing? I heard raised voices.”

“That wasn’t arguing, that was me telling Gilbert to get his head out of his ass.”

“And that’s different?”

“Yeah, this is more of a brotherly love thing. I care about him. I want him to be happy, but he gets in his own way sometimes. Smart people tend to do that- over think things and assume things.”

“Oh, I guess I haven’t noticed that about him.”

“It’s only in regard to one thing and apparently he hides it well. You ready?”

“Go for it!”

He worked for a couple more hours, conversation flowing comfortably between the two and Cole pried into her history with Gilbert unapologetically.

“So, besides beating him up the first day you met, how did this friendship develop?”

“I don’t really know, honestly, like I said, he was persistent. I had always assumed people weren’t interested in being my friend and he wouldn’t let me believe that. And now, I guess I like that he challenges me. We disagree plenty, but he’s never upset about it, and I think half the time he’s just playing devil’s advocate just to get a rise out of me.”

“Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate.”

“And he’s just always there for me. Not like, in an overbearing way, but I just know that if and when I need something he’s there, you know? And I’ve not had that before. He’s just really nice. Always. Even when I’m being ridiculous. And he doesn’t ever hold any of it against me, but he still holds me accountable. You know?”

“Don’t you wonder why that is?”

“No, I don’t. He’s my friend and he’s nice to everyone, not just me.”

“He’s not **that** nice,” he said as he put his brush down. “Alright, you can get dressed. Feel free to go clean up again.”

“Thanks, I’ll be quick.”

She rinsed off her body and got dressed. She came out of the bathroom and around to the canvas and stopped breathing.

“Holy shit.”

“Now, don’t judge it too harshly, there’s still some touching up to do, but you get the idea.”

In the painting, Anne was sitting in mud, not sand, and staring intently at the viewer. Her ankles were crossed and her legs were bent up in front of her, hiding most of her torso. She was leaning forward into her legs, her fingers threading through the mud on the ground as more dripped off of her body. Her pink lips were slightly parted as she stared out with crystal blue eyes while tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Her hair looked to be glowing and was windswept into the appearance of fire.

“Do you like it?”

“I don’t know what to say. I… I love it. You made me beautiful. Thank you.”

“I just painted you Anne. I added the elements, but that’s just you.”

***

Anne and Cole went upstairs and Gilbert was making coffee in the kitchen.

“Gilbert, isn’t there something you wanted to talk to Anne about?”

“No,” he said curtly, still reeling from Cole’s revelation.

“Hey, you okay?” Anne asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry. Just tired and I have a ton more studying to do.”

“And I have to figure out what to wear to exercise in, so we both have important things going on today.”

Gilbert smiled softly at her light tone, “Exactly.”

“K. Bye guys. Great to get to know you better, Cole. See you soon!” she called as she left the house.

“You look a little rattled, Gilbert.”

“You think? You just told me I yell at my best friend because I can’t have sex with her. What kind of person does that make me?”

“Well, in your defense, she does the same thing.”

“She’s not into me like that. I told you. She’s just passionate. I’m the weird one here.”

“Oh I think we’ve established that you are both plenty weird. Gilbert, I think she likes you; I really do. I have nothing to gain by making this up. What is the real hold up here?”

“What isn’t? I’m not good enough for her and she has no confidence in herself. I really think that if I told her I loved her she wouldn’t believe me, because she doesn’t see anything in her worth loving.”

“From what I saw today, her confidence is growing. And if you aren’t good enough for her, who the hell is?”

“Mr. Fucking Darcy.”

“Who?”

“She’s in love with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. I don’t know. I’ve never read it.”

“If I were you, I’d make a move. What have you got to lose?”

“Her! How are you not getting this?”

“And if she rejected you, would she lose you?”

He considered it for a moment and then whispered, “No. She wouldn’t.”

“If she doesn’t feel the same way, which I think is really unlikely, she’ll still want your friendship, Gilbert. She just talked for a half hour about how much your friendship means to her and all the good it has done her. You’re not going to lose her. Please, just tell her that you love her.”

“I don’t know that that’s a good idea Cole. What right do I have to change our relationship? It’s clearly working really well. For both of us right now.”

“Maybe you just need some motivation, you already spend all your time together, there isn’t anything pushing you to change the status of your relationship because everything is fine.”

“If everything is fine, then why should I fuck with it?”

“Because it could be so much better! Think about it Gilbert! You could be **with** Anne. When you go out together, you could hold her hand. You would be able to stop telling guys that she is single. After studying on Fridays, she would probably spend the night. She could be the first thing you see every Saturday instead of looking at your phone hoping to have received a text from her. And who knows, maybe if you’re lucky, eventually she’ll even have sex with you. Just imagine the possibilities of a life with Anne. And it could start **now**. You don’t need to wait for it, Gilbert. Go after it.”

“Okay, maybe,” he sat down and thought about it. “Alright. Let’s do this. What do you suggest?”

“Like…” he thought for a minute, “Alright, let’s start with a deadline. Nothing too pressing, but something to get you off your ass, like... the art show! It’s in two weeks. Make a move by the end of the art show! Or the end of that night I guess. That shouldn’t be too difficult, it’s not like you need to get to know her, you just need to figure out a way to sit her down and say, ‘Anne, I’m in love with you.’ Easy peasy.”

“Oh my god, I’m going to be sick.”

“Gilbert! It’ll be fine! Remember that she’s your best friend, you know her. It’ll be good. I promise.”

“Okay,” he said, trying to convince himself that it would be okay. “Make a move by the end of the night. Two weeks. I think I can do that. Is there some kind of punishment then if I don’t? Is that how this works?”

“Right,” Cole said. “A punishment. Well, we don’t want you to get hurt or humiliated. That’s not fun for anyone. But it needs to be something you really don’t want to do. Let’s keep money out of it because we both know you don’t have much to spare and I’m pretty sure you want to keep this between us in case it doesn’t go as planned.”

“Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea.”

“I got it!” Cole said, and then started laughing. “You tell Anne how you feel by midnight after the art show or you have to kiss me.”

“Dude!”

“What?” he laughed. “Is that not great motivation? It needs to be something harmless that you really don’t want to do and I may as well benefit from it. Especially after you made me watch your sex-substitute arguing.”

“I can’t believe I’m asking you this, but how exactly do you benefit from kissing me?”

Cole shrugged and said, “You’re hot and I’m not getting any.”

“I’ve only kissed one person before and that was over two years ago. I’m not even sure I remember how to do it.”

“Excellent. Then you can look at it like this: Your next kiss can be with Anne and you’ll relearn with the love of your life. Or it can be with me and my kiss will just sit there, and linger on your lips, forever… and ever… and ever… until you man up enough to do something about Anne. Deal?”

“Fine. I’ll do it,” he said shaking Cole’s hand.

“Well isn’t this exciting? In two weeks, you’re going to get to kiss someone! Your call on who it is: the woman of your dreams or a gay man. This should not be a hard decision, though I admit, I’m quite a dish.”

***

Two weeks later Gilbert still hadn’t told Anne how he felt. He tried, multiple times, but he always choked. It was so bad that she actually started thinking he was ill because he looked so uncomfortable around her all the time. Anne didn’t want to go to the art show since she thought it would be awkward if she was recognized as the subject of his painting, so Gilbert met up with Diana instead, who was also aware he was acting off.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been off for weeks.”

“I’m trying to figure out how to tell Anne-”

“Oh my god! Really?”

“Yeah. Trying and failing. I don’t know what I’m doing, Diana. I’ve never wanted something this much and every time I start to tell her I just get paralyzed with fear. I’ve already fucked it up so many times she thinks I’m sick.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t.”

“Yeah, you’re right, she came up to me yesterday, told me I looked pale and sweaty and made me take my temperature. Shocker: I didn’t have a fever because embarrassment can’t actually kill you, it only feels like it can. And then she still made me soup. From scratch. Because she is awesome. And then I just felt worse so then I tried to tell her again and I swear I got so light-headed that I almost passed out.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I’m super embarrassed, so please don’t tease me about it.”

“I’ll try not to. Let’s go see this painting; maybe it’ll inspire you.”

They slowly made their way through the space, giving everything a courtesy viewing even though they couldn’t care less about anything else there. Cole’s painting was in back, and when they got there, they stood and looked at it in stunned silence. It did not inspire Gilbert. The plaque by the painting read:

_Unattainable  
Cole McKenzie  
Oil on Canvas  
36”x48”  
$5000  
SOLD_

It was the end of the night and not many people were there anymore, so they took their time.

Gilbert couldn’t form coherent thoughts. She was stunning, as always, but he couldn’t help but think there was something missing. Regardless, the woman before him was magnificent and indeed, transcendent. Far better than anything he deserved.

“You ready to go?” Diana asked after they had been there for about ten minutes. She turned to look at him and saw that he was upset.

“Gil, what’s wrong?”

He pointed to the name of the painting, took one final look and silently left the gallery. Diana caught up to him quickly, slid her arm through his and rested her head against his upper arm.

“She’s not unattainable, Gil, not for you. But you won’t get anywhere if you don’t say something.”

“I’m trying, really, I just can’t.”

***

When he got home, he went to his room and tried to call Anne, but he was too nervous, so he chickened out and texted her.

**FW - Mobile**

_Hey Carrots, saw the painting._

_…  
What did you think?_

_I think his depiction of you was almost  
as beautiful as you are in real life._

_Very funny, we both know that he  
took some very generous liberties._

_He captured your appearance perfectly,  
but he failed to capture your passion,  
spirit and intelligence.  
You’re beautiful, but your magnificence  
lies beneath your skin._

_Wow.  
Thank you Gilbert._

_Anytime. I saw he sold it, so you  
have another payday coming._

_Yeah, he mentioned that.  
He said he sold it for double what he listed it for.  
No idea how much that is, but hopefully I can get  
a couple hundred out of it._

_Holy shit._

_What?_

_Double?  
That means he sold it for 10 grand.  
You’re getting $2,500._

_Holy shit._   
_I’m pretty sure I just passed out._   
_You’re going to celebrate this with me, right?_

_Wouldn’t miss it._

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t tell her. Cole said he wouldn’t lose her friendship, but what did he know? It was too great a risk. He did love her, but he would do so platonically if that’s what it took to stay near her. He got up and went down to the kitchen to get some whiskey. He poured himself a glass, sat down and found himself wishing again that his dad were around. He always missed him and he always wished he were here, but never more than when he was seeking advice about Anne.

***

About a half hour later, Gilbert had finished his second drink and Cole arrived at home.

“Thanks for coming out tonight, it was good to see you and Diana there.”

“Yeah.”

“And I got you something, loverboy,” he said and produced a print from his bag of his painting.

“Thanks,” he said as he picked it up and let it torture him. It was no less than what he deserved.

“Uh-oh. Let’s see. Empty glass, insanely tousled hair, Oreos and ah yes, here comes the chocolate milk,” Cole said as Gilbert went to the fridge, “What’s wrong?”

“Why did you name it _Unattainable_?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“You said it, don’t you remember? You said she was too good, for everyone. And in the painting, she looks like some mythical god or mother nature herself. I thought it was appropriate.”

“Yeah. It was spot on. Way to go. Well, a bet’s a bet,” he said and he walked over and kissed him.

Cole was impressed; it was a legitimate kiss, not just a tight-lipped peck.

“You didn’t have to do that, I really just wanted to motivate you. I want you to be together; I want you to be happy.”

“No, I’m nothing if not a man of my word. I need to be held accountable for my failure.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, that was a hell of a kiss. I almost thought you enjoyed it.”

“I used to act, Cole, and I was really damn good,” he explained. “Also, don’t tell anyone I kissed you.”

“Don’t want to be chased around by guys as well as all the girls?”

Gilbert glared at him. “Seriously, don’t say anything.”

“It’ll be our little secret, until it suits me for it to be shared, anyway. You still have thirty minutes, though. You don’t think this was a bit premature?”

“It shouldn’t be this hard Cole; something doesn’t feel right. I shouldn’t have to force it this much. I’ll figure it out. I will. But I can’t do it tonight.”

******** Back to the Bonfire ********

“And I did!” Gilbert said proudly.

“No you didn’t!” Anne argued. “I told you that you were in love with me. You just sat there and agreed while I yelled at you!”

“I was going to tell you! You just beat me to it!”

“I’m only letting this go because in this scenario it sounds like I won.”

“Nope, that would be me,” he said and he kissed her. “So much better than kissing Cole.”

“I agree,” Anne said.

“What the fuck? Did Anne kiss Cole too?” Josie asked.

Cole laughed, “Oh yeah! I kissed them both before they kissed each other! That’s awesome. I didn’t kiss Anne until Diana and Jerry’s wedding though.”

“We all promised not to speak of that wedding,” Tillie warned.

“I was hoping for more description of the kiss, honestly,” Ruby said.

“Right?” Jane agreed.

“It was the most basic kiss imaginable. It’s not like we made out,” Gilbert said. “And no, we’re not doing it again, Tillie.”

“I’m not saying anything. But just so you know, my imagination is nearly as good as Anne’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a few ways I could take the accidental exposure here, and this wasn’t what I wrote at first. It was going to be shame spiral and complete embarrassment, but I needed Anne to grow a bit. 
> 
> I don't know much about art, so forgive me for that. But I do have a friend who was a nude model for an art class when she was in college, so as ridiculous as this may seem, it's not too far off. The most unrealistic thing is probably him selling his painting for 10 grand, but FICTION. So just go with it.
> 
> Also- in my personal experience people always walk in on you at the worst possible time. So while you might think, 'what are the odds he comes downstairs at that moment?' I actually consider this scenario highly likely. Hopefully you have had different experiences.
> 
> I don't know why Gilbert needs Oreos and chocolate milk after he drinks whiskey. We all have our weird food habits and that is his. It gets mentioned in SJLT so I thought I would bring it back here.


	8. In Which Gilbert's Plan Works Too Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert and Anne orchestrate the meeting of Jerry and Diana. Gilbert and Anne spend a lot of time together, without Diana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little different in that we see a lot of just Anne and Gilbert interacting with each other without the teasing and pushing of their friends. Hopefully it will help provide more of a feel for the nature of their relationship and how it is a good and honest one, even though they are hiding some of their feelings. It’s a ton of dialog, so prepare yourselves and I hope you don’t mind.
> 
> Here we also see a little bit why their study sessions last so long. They get distracted.
> 
> Sorry we don’t actually get a lot of Diana and Jerry here, but the story isn’t about them, it’s about Anne and Gilbert.
> 
> Also sorry for any mistakes. I will try to go through it again in a couple days when I’ve had a break from it.

“Did Anne know you kissed Cole?” Diana asked.

“No. No one knew, as far as I know anyway,” said Gilbert.

“I kept my word; I didn’t tell anyone,” said Cole. “And whenever people assumed, we were together because of our living situation, I promise I told them we were very much not.”

“And do you have an opinion on this revelation, Anne?”

“Please, we’ve been friends for four years, I just assume everyone wants to kiss him until informed otherwise. And also, Gilbert is a great kisser. Cole should consider himself lucky.”

“And did Gilbert know that Anne kissed Cole?” Ruby asked.

“Yeah, it… came up,” Gilbert said angrily.

“I want to hear about that,” said Ruby.

“What about not discussing that wedding did you not understand?” Tillie threatened.

“Regardless of whether or not we end up discussing the havoc our wedding released on the world, I know we have quite a few stories to go until we get to that point. Starting with mine,” Jerry said.

“Are you talking about Halloween that year?” Moody asked.

“No, I think this started right after that,” he said and then thought about it for a minute. “Yeah, that should be right because it was before Gilbert’s birthday.”

“Oof,” Anne said and rubbed her eyes.

“What part of that, um, time are you specifically addressing?” Gilbert asked nervously.

“When you tried to distract Diana from your love life by getting her on a date of her own. Why, what are you talking about?”

“That was just an interesting birthday, is all,” Gilbert concluded.

“Did something happen between you two?” Diana asked.

“No, not technically.”

“What happened?” Diana asked. “As far as I know, Cole said he got home at two in the morning and you were both passed out. Everyone figured you just watched a movie and then fell asleep.”

“And that’s exactly what happened,” Anne said. “More or less…”

“We’ve talked about it and determined that this was the point where our relationship kind of started to take a turn. We aren’t lying. We didn’t kiss until we got together last spring, but I think fall that year is when our relationship started to get weird, to outsiders anyway.”

“ **Started**?” Josie exclaimed. “Your relationship was weird from the moment you met! I swear that by the end of that first lunch you had together Gilbert had already planned his proposal.”

“I very much promise you I did not. But point taken.”

“Fine. We’ll tell you, but only to shut you all up. Jerry, go ahead, we’ll just add in our stuff as it fits into yours.”

“I’m actually relieved you’ll have more to add, because my story isn’t much, honestly.”

********November, Sophomore Year********

Diana, Moody, Anne and Gilbert were all studying in the girls’ room. Moody and Diana were working on a group assignment for History of Sacred Music and were taking up all the desk and floor space. The project had pretty much exploded everywhere that it could. This meant that Anne and Gilbert were sitting on her lofted bed above the mess, side by side leaning back against the wall. They studied together all the time, but this was the first time they had done so on her bed and both of them were having trouble concentrating because of it. Gilbert had long since closed his book and started looking up weird facts on his phone instead. He figured what he was looking at was medical-adjacent so that counted as studying, right?

“Hm, this is interesting,” he interjected. “Did you know that out of all the cells in your body only about 10% of them are human? You are actually 90% bacteria and other microbes.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself,” Anne joked.

“Alright then, how’s this?” he said with a smile. “They’ve found a correlation between people who dream often and people who have a high IQ.”

Anne looked up suddenly, remembering the dream she had about him the previous night and she could instantly feel the heat rise in her face.

Gilbert laughed, “And just so you know, apparently when you blush, your stomach lining does too. What have you been dreaming about that has you all pink?” he teased.

“I will tell you only that my imagination is even more powerful in my dreams, which occur very frequently, so I must be crazy smart.”

“No doubt. Come on, tell me your dreams, Carrots.”

“Well, a brief summary would be that I was back home and working to get the place ready for a wedding.”

A more descriptive summary would have included that it was their wedding she was preparing for.

“Why the blush then?” he asked.

“Oh, you know, typical dream stuff, all the guests showed up and I was naked.”

“Way to steal the show.”

“You know how I do.”

Diana glared up at her and tried not to laugh as Anne shot her a warning look from above. Diana thought she was in on it, but she didn’t even know the whole dream; Anne couldn’t even speak of it. Diana knew only that Anne had a dream about marrying Gilbert, but she had no idea Anne was naked because they got caught fooling around before the ceremony. And she would definitely never mention aloud that everyone saw her naked because apparently having sex up against a wall in an old barn was a stupid decision and resulted in the wall actually falling over. All the romance novels she had been reading were clearly getting to her. She blamed them completely. It’s not as if she had any experience of her own to fall back on that would produce these images in her subconscious.

“You aren’t telling me the whole dream, are you?” he asked with a knowing smile.

“Nope. Never. Read your damn book.”

“I gave up on that like thirty minutes ago. Couldn’t concentrate.”

“What were you studying?”

“Anatomy. Pretty sure I have it down anyway. It’s fine,” he said as he scrolled through his phone. “This is weird. Apparently 50% of your hand strength comes from your pinky finger. That seems off.”

“That doesn’t sound right,” Anne said, furrowing her brow.

“Give me your hand,” he said, silently applauding himself for coming up with an excuse to touch her.

She put down her pen and held her hand out to him and he took it in his like he was shaking it.

“Squeeze, tight as you can,” he said and she did. “Wow, you’re really strong. I always forget that. Okay, now lift your pinky up, pretend you’re Diana drinking tea.”

“I heard that!” Diana called from below as Anne laughed.

“Squeeze again,” he said and noticed considerable difference. “I think it’s actually right.”

“You do it. I want to see,” she said, not yet willing to let go of his hand.

He repeated the experiment as slowly as he could, knowing that when he was done, he would need to let go.

“Huh, who would’ve thought? Learn something new every day. Now, put down your phone and study,” Anne said.

“Yes ma’am,” he reluctantly agreed. “I will read this chapter about the heart for the third time today, just because you commanded it.”

They went back to studying for a while; Gilbert kept reading and Anne kept furiously taking notes from one of her books.

“Son of a bitch, ow!” Anne yelled grabbing her right hand with her left as her pen went flying across the bed into her pillow.

“Another hand cramp?” he asked. “I thought you were due. I think it’s been a whole two days since the last one.”

“Yeah. Fuck, that hurts.”

“You could type your notes, like a normal person.”

“No. It’s been proven that you absorb the material better if you write it down by hand, it forces you to process the information instead of just writing everything down verbatim. And who are you to talk? I swear you don’t even take notes.”

He laughed, “I take notes all the time. You just wouldn’t know because we have no classes together. Anne, stop, you look like you are trying to kill your hand. What are you doing? Stabbing yourself with your finger? That’s not going to work. Do you want some help?”

“With what exactly? Are you going to take my notes for me?” she asked hopefully.

He moved on the bed so he was facing her. “Hell no. Come here,” he said grabbing her hand, and he started massaging it.

Anne gasped and said, “Oh my god.”

“Is this okay?” he said, unable to prevent himself from smiling.

“You really are amazing at everything, aren’t you?”

“This is hardly a skill. I’m just doing what I think will make you feel good.”

“God, seriously, it feels so good I think I’m going to cry.”

“Let it out, then.”

“This is just so much better than when I do it myself.”

“That’s because I am using two hands instead of one and it’s a better angle as well. Plus, my hands are stronger than yours.”

“I already said you were better at this than I am. No need to increase the competition alright? Ah,” she gasped. “Yeah, right there. Just keep doing that. Don’t stop.”

“Oh my god! What are you two doing up there?” Diana laughed.

“I got a hand cramp,” Anne explained quickly, holding up their joined hands. “He’s just helping me out.”

“It sounded like-”

Gilbert rolled his eyes at the realization. “We’re now well aware what you thought it sounded like, but I assure you, I am just giving her a hand massage. Though I appreciate that you think I’d just suddenly fool around with my best friend while our friends are in the same room arguing about the meaning of medieval hymns.”

 _Okay, he brushed past it, I can too._ “For real, but if you two were studying something sexy like poetry then it’d be a completely different story,” she added sarcastically.

Gilbert looked at her amused, with his eyebrows raised and chuckled in surprise.

“Exactly,” he continued. “Do you think we have no standards?”

“You know, I didn’t think this was possible, but as time goes on, you two are getting more and more annoying to be around,” Diana said.

“I’m okay with it,” Anne said. “You?”

“Great,” he answered. “Looks like it’s just something you’re going to need to deal with, Di.”

“My patience is growing thin, that’s all I’m saying.”

Moody leaned in and whispered to Diana, “Thank you for saying something. That was getting awkward. But it wouldn’t be suddenly. It would be finally. And if they’d finally just get on with it, I’d happily leave this room right now. I don’t care if we would fail the class. It’d be worth it.”

“Agreed,” she answered quietly before calling out, “Do you guys mind if I put on some music?”

They both shrugged their indifference and went back to studying.

As soon as Diana started the song, she looked up at Gilbert and saw him clench his jaw. He glared down at her and silently mouthed _I hate you_.

She smiled cheerily back up at him and said, “No you don’t.”

Anne knew the song too and it was one of those moments where she had to think about her reaction. Luckily, she had a fifteen second drum solo to choose her response. _If I were alone with Gilbert, what would I do? I would sing along. It’s a great song._ _If Gilbert weren’t here, if it were just Diana and Moody, what would I do?_ she pondered for a second and told herself, _I’d sing, dammit._ So, she did, after finally determining that it was Diana’s reactions and insinuations that were so often the cause of her self-consciousness around Gilbert. And she directed her enthusiasm at Diana, who she was certain chose this song just to torment her.

She grabbed her pen to use as a microphone and belted out, _“When I watch you, I wanna do you, right where you’re standing. Right on the foyer, on this dark day right in plain view, oh yeah.”_

Gilbert looked at her in awe and then joined her, staring down at Diana in defiance as they both sang, “ _Of the whole ghetto, the boot-stomped meadows, but we ignore that yeah. You're lovely baby, this war is crazy, I won't let you down oh no, no, no.  
I won't let them take you, won't let them take you hell no, no.”_

Soon enough, Moody and Diana were singing along and Anne and Gilbert were thoroughly pleased with how the potentially awkward situation was diffused.

After the song ended, they all went back to studying as Diana left her playlist on shuffle. After another half hour of studying, Anne and Gilbert heard celebration from their friends below.

“Wooooooo! We did it!” Diana yelled.

“Victory! We have victory!” Moody cheered as he did a small lap around the still destroyed room.

“Wow guys, is it really so momentous?” Gilbert asked doubtfully.

“Yes,” they responded in unison in very serious tones.

Gilbert got the message not to challenge them on that and said, “Alright then, my congratulations to you both,” and then leaned back against the wall. Moody and Diana packed up the project and put on their coats.

“We need to get this over to the office by midnight,” Diana said. “You guys going to be alright here?”

“What could possibly happen to us?” Anne asked.

“Lots of things, but unfortunately nothing probably will,” Diana teased as she and Moody left the room.

As soon as the door shut, Gilbert slammed his book shut and tossed it to the side.

“Do you ever get the feeling that Diana needs a boyfriend?”

Anne laughed and said, “What now?”

“It’s probably just because of how close we are, but she’s always up in my business. I could do without the teasing for a while is all. I’m thinking that maybe with a distraction, she would lay off me a bit.”

“What is she making fun of you for?”

“Never mind that.”

“Okay, man of mystery. I get what you’re saying though. She does it to me too. And don’t get me wrong, I love her and I love that she’s invested in my life, but yeah, I could do without some of the teasing.”

“Is she interested in anyone? Do you know what she’s into?”

“All I know is that she claims to be on the hunt and that red corset she wore at Halloween came with a matching thong that she’s looking forward using in a very non-Halloween way.”

Gilbert grimaced.

“Sorry.”

“Alright, moving on, does she ever say anyone is cute or anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Great! Who?” he asked excitedly.

“You. All the time. She’s quite pushy about it actually. If you ever need an agent for anything, she’d be your best bet.”

Gilbert groaned, “Why does she do that? It’s so awkward.”

“She probably does it mostly to see you throw that little hissy fit.”

“Shut up. You wait until one of your best friends keeps calling you hot and see how you like it.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, “Somehow I don’t think I’ll need to worry about that. Anyway, I know she likes tall guys, which doesn’t mean much, because she’s so short. And she prefers dark hair, I think. But you’ve known her forever. I think you have a better grasp on this than I do.”

Gilbert looked at her out of the corner of his eye and shot her a mischievous grin and simply said, “Jerry.”

“ **Jerry** Jerry? Like goofball, flirts with everyone he meets and tries to seduce people in French Jerry?”

“He’s a good guy. And he flirts, yes, but he doesn’t really do more than that. It’s all a big act.”

“So what makes you think he’d be interested in her? Sorry, that’s a stupid question. Never mind. What makes you think she’ll be interested in him?”

“He’s smart, talented, he even used to play the cello, so they have that whole classical music thing in common. Also, he’s really nice and extremely funny.”

“Like, guy funny or actually funny?”

Gilbert rolled his eyes at her. “He’s funny, Anne.”

“And he’s pretty cute, so that’s something,” she said, considering the situation. “Not that Diana is superficial, but physical attraction is important as well.”

“You think Jerry’s cute?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“No. I didn’t know that, that’s all. You aren’t interested in him, are you? Sorry, I didn’t mean to hijack your crush.”

“Oh my gosh, **no**. Definitely not. It’s possible to find someone attractive and not be interested in them. You know that better than anyone Gilbert, use your brain.”

“Why exactly do I know that so well?” he looked at her confused.

“Well, you said I was pretty and you aren’t interested in me, obviously.”

 _Oh my god, she really has no idea,_ he thought, completely dumbfounded. He tried to say something to fill the momentary silence but couldn’t come up with anything. He made a point not to lie to her, but hardly considered this the right time to tell her he loved her and what finally came out was a very strange sounding, “Guh,” which left him surprised and confused at his own incompetence.

Luckily, Anne didn’t seem to notice and kept talking, “Just one more thing though. Isn’t he a little too, well, for lack a of a better word, ‘common’ for her parents? You said that you weren’t really an option for her and Jerry’s much closer to your socio-economic level than Diana’s.”

“I’m not looking to marry her off, Anne. I’m just looking for her to have a distraction.”

“Real classy, Gilbert,” she said, a little annoyed, “These are actual people we’re talking about here. With feelings and hearts and everything. Jerry is one of your best friends and Diana is like your sister, don’t you think they deserve a little more consideration?”

“I’m fully aware of my relationships with them, thanks. And we aren’t even setting them up, it’s just time that they be introduced, that’s all. We’ll see what happens. Maybe they’ll go out a couple times and have some fun, maybe not. At the very least, Diana will have another friend to hang out with. Just tell her enough with the excuses, she is coming to watch us play tomorrow night. And then just introduce her to Jerry.”

“Me?! Why the fuck do I need to do it? This was your idea!”

“You owe me.”

“How on earth do I owe you, you stupid, stupid boy?”

“You told me she bought a corset and thong and now that image is burned into my brain forever!”

“Oh, right, I’m so sorry to burden you with the idea of an astoundingly beautiful woman in lingerie,” she said sarcastically. “I’m such an ass.”

“Don’t feel too bad,” he said. “Imagining Diana like that doesn’t hold a candle to seeing **you** in lingerie, which is also burned into my brain forever, by the way.”

Anne looked at him and her face suddenly matched her lips.

“See?” he asked. “It’s awkward when your friend calls you hot, isn’t it?”

“Not nearly as awkward as it is when said friend reminds you that he’s seen you practically naked.”

“I can make it more awkward if you’d like.”

“Please, I’m begging you to shut your mouth and try to erase that image from your mind.”

Gilbert laughed softly and said, “I’m going to go ahead and say I won this one. And that image isn’t going anywhere, sorry. Couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to.”

***

Anne was finally able to convince Diana to come hear the guys play and to her surprise, while they were playing, Jerry seemed to catch Diana’s eye without any prompting. Anne and Diana danced the night away and afterward went up to talk to their friends. Gilbert was, of course, surrounded by a group of girls and Diana noticed Anne sigh.

“So that’s what you deal with every time?”

“Yep. Same old, same old,” she said as she made eye contact with him, waved and gave him a weak smile. “You haven’t ever met Jerry, have you? He lived with Charlie last year and is now suite mates with him and Moody.”

“No, I haven’t met him. Should I?”

“Sure. Why not? He’s cool. Funny. And he’s probably going to hit on you in French, so that’s fun.”

Diana laughed and said, “Bring it.”

“He’s a good guy, Diana. Be nice.”

“I’ll be nice to him if he is nice to me.”

“That’s the spirit,” Anne said as she pulled Diana up on the stage.

“Jerry!” she called out.

“Anne!” he said as he walked toward them and greeted her with a hug. “I always love having you at our shows. It’s so much fun watching you dance.”

“Eek. Should I be worried?”

“No! You look like you are having such a great time! It makes me feel like we’re actually playing decent,” he said with a laugh. “Plus, I’m pretty sure that if we sucked, you would stop showing up. I know you well enough now to know that you wouldn’t come hear us just to be nice.”

“That’s definitely not why she comes,” Diana chimed in.

Anne rolled her eyes and said, “Jerry, this is my friend Diana. You’ve probably heard the guys talk about her- she grew up with Gilbert and Charlie.”

“Wow, Diana, it’s great to finally meet you. I feel like I’m meeting a living legend,” he said, offering his hand.

“Nice to meet you too. Though Anne said you were likely to hit on me in French like you did to her. I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t go for it.”

Jerry laughed and said in French, “She’s mistaken, I spoke French, but I think I said that it was a pleasure to meet Gilbert’s greatest love. As far as I am concerned, your dear friend is beautiful and wonderful, but she has never been available; I would never hit on her.”

Diana burst out laughing, “Oh my god that’s hilarious! Nice work!”

“Yeah, neither of them got it, but Tillie understood, and she got a chuckle out of it. It was Tillie right?” Jerry checked with Anne.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That friend of yours who came that first time you did?”

“Yeah. Tillie,” Anne confirmed.

“Hey, Anne,” Gilbert said coming up behind her, “Can I talk to you?”

“Um yeah, you good here?” she asked Diana.

“Yeah,” Diana smiled, looking at Jerry. “I’m good.”

***

“That seemed to go well,” said Gilbert as they walked away.

“I think so. Jerry said something in French and made her laugh pretty hard, but I think he was talking about you, so I’m a little confused there. But whatever. They were both smiling, so I guess we’ll see what happens. How was the harem today?”

He coughed and said, “Excuse me?”

“The harem… you know the group of girls that crowd around you after every show.”

“And you’re insinuating for some reason that I’m sleeping with them?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Do you honestly think I would sleep around with a bunch of random women?”

“I don’t know what you do!”

“But you know me a little bit, don’t you? And also, I’m wondering where you think I would accomplish this when I spend most of my free time with you.”

“Well, sorry for taking up your time when you clearly have so many better options.”

“Stop. I’m not arguing with you about this. But I will point out that this has got to be the fastest we have fallen into an argument that doesn’t matter at all and is based on you again assuming that I hang out with you out of pity. For what has got to be the one hundredth time, I choose to spend my time with you because I **like** spending time with you. And I don’t sleep around, Anne, though I’m a little surprised you think I would. And not only that, but I’m surprised that you think I could do it without you knowing about it. I have dated one person over 2 years ago. What kind of game do you think I have that I could pull that off?”

“People like you don’t need ‘game’ Gilbert. You’re like a freaking magnet for female attention. Pick a girl, any girl, and she could be yours.”

Gilbert burst out laughing, “That’s not at all true and you know it.”

“Shut up. Name one girl in here who wouldn’t have you.”

“You.”

“Ha! Cheater. Name one girl in here you’d actually be interested in who wouldn’t have you.”

“Y-” Gilbert began, but his near confession was not noticed by Anne and interrupted by Diana.

“Anne! Gilbert! Do you guys want to go get some food? Oh, are you guys fighting already? It’s only ben like two minutes.”

“We’re not fighting,” Anne and Gilbert answered together.

“Right, I’m totally convinced. Anyway. Food? Yes?” Diana asked.

“Fine,” they agreed.

Gilbert and Anne led the way out of the house, eager to escape their conversation and Diana and Jerry followed.

“Okay,” Jerry whispered to her as they walked out of the door, “Do you think they were about to hit each other or kiss?”

“No one can tell anymore, but based on their idiocy, they were closer to fighting than kissing. They’ll figure it out.”

“It’s been over a year. What is taking so long?”

“Never underestimate the idiocy of smart people.”

***

Over the next week, Diana and Jerry hung out nearly every day and for a while, it seemed to be true that Diana stopped her teasing of Anne and Gilbert, who enjoyed their time together free from Diana’s knowing glances and not so subtle insinuations. The next weekend, they were all sharing a meal and Diana and Jerry brought up a question.

“So, you guys set us up, right?” Diana asked.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Gilbert said quietly, looking away from her.

“You have never been a good liar Gilbert.”

“It wasn’t really setting you up, we were just making sure that you met,” Anne said.

“Exactly. Good people deserve to meet good people,” Gilbert agreed.

“You’re both full of crap,” Jerry laughed. “Don’t get us wrong, we’re happy you introduced us, we’re just curious about the timing. I mean, we’ve been connected through you guys since we all started here but you’ve never bothered to introduce us before. Why now?”

“I don’t think we need to get into that,” Gilbert said.

“Oh, I think we do, what gives?” Diana asked.

Anne laughed, “Gilbert was sick of Diana teasing him about something and thought if she had a distraction that she would leave him alone.”

“In my defense, it’s worked. You’re a lot nicer to me now.”

“Should I be offended that I’m considered the distraction here?” Jerry asked.

“That depends,” Anne said. “Are you happy?”

Jerry smiled and nodded.

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it.”

***

After another couple days of teasing-free bliss, Gilbert got a text from Anne regarding his birthday.

**FW - Mobile**

_What are you doing for your birthday?_

_I don’t know. Nothing?_

_It’s on a Saturday.  
You have to do something._

_I’m not big on birthdays. You know that._

_Well maybe you would enjoy them more if  
you actually celebrated them._

_Here’s the thing.  
My birthday was always a day I would spend with  
my dad. Just my dad. It was obviously a hard day  
for him every year and I focused on trying to make  
it good for him. Now I prefer to spend it by myself.  
That’s all._

_So what are you going to do?_

_I’m going for a run.  
Then I’m going to the library.  
And then I’m going to go get some tacos for lunch.  
And then I’m going to the library.  
And then I’m going to come home and make myself  
some dinner._

_Okay.  
That’s incredibly boring.  
And coming from me, I hope that hurts.  
But I get it and I won’t say anything else._

_Thank you._

_One more thing._

_So, not following through with not saying  
anything else then?_

_No.  
You were stupid to think I could do that._

_I agree._

_Is there anything special you would want?  
Like a cake? Or a candy bar even?  
Is there anything at all I could do for you to  
make the day special that wouldn’t intrude  
on your solitude?_

_I don’t know.  
Do you want to come over that night and watch  
a movie?_

_That’s it?_

_Spending time with you? Yeah. That’s all I want._

_You are so easy to please.  
When do you think you’ll be back from studying?_

_Probably around five._

_Okay, what do you want to watch?_

_It doesn’t matter. You can choose._

_Sweet. I’ll see you at five then._

***

**Cole – Mobile**

_Can I get into your house at like 3 tomorrow?_

_Sure.  
Surprise for Gilbert’s birthday?_

_Yeah. Just some food. NBD.  
He wants to keep it low key and I want to  
respect that._

_You know what a great birthday present would be?  
Hearing a beautiful girl tell you that she loves you.  
That would be the best._

_Well, I’ll try to find him a beautiful girl who  
loves him then.  
I’ll probably run into a couple on my way over  
there._

_I was talking about you._

_And I was ignoring you.  
I’m not going to traumatize him on his birthday._

_Diana was right. You two are the worst._

_How are we the worst?  
Why can’t I do nice things for my friend?  
Why won’t people just let it be?_

_Because we can all see that it should be more._

_Just be there to let me in at 3 please._

_No problem.  
In case it matters, I will be leaving at 4._

_Good.  
Then I won’t need to deal with your awkward  
comments. He is going to figure it out one of  
these days and you’re going to embarrass me  
to death._

_Trust me, he really won’t.  
Would you believe me if I told you that he  
loved you?_

_No. Because he doesn’t.  
Not any more than a friend anyway._

_Exactly._

***

Anne still had a ton of money left from when Cole paid her from the commission of his painting and she was thoroughly enjoying not being poor. She knew it wouldn’t last forever but was allowing herself to spend it on things that she wanted and didn’t actually need, which was a luxury she hadn’t really had before. One of her favorite things to do was buy ingredients to make decent meals and then use Cole and Gilbert’s kitchen to work in. She missed cooking with Marilla at Green Gables and was happy to have that part of her life back, even if it wasn’t quite the same.

Tonight, she was making what she considered her specialty: chicken tikka masala. She vaguely remembered joking about it last summer regarding something with marriage, but she was certain he wouldn’t remember if she barely did. 

Gilbert was surprised that he actually had a decent day, even with all the studying. Unfortunately, he reached the point of study exhaustion about an hour earlier than expected and decided to head back early. He had good intentions when he was planning his day and was going to go home and cook, well, pasta probably, but he was feeling so lazy now and his good intentions were likely going to turn into him ordering a sandwiches for both him and Anne, depending when she decided to come over. He unlocked his door, walked in and smelled the most amazing smell he had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

“Cole?” he called out as he was walking through his house.

“No! Sorry! Just me,” he heard Anne call.

He walked into the kitchen and smiled when he saw her with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, flour on her face and wearing an apron covered in a million different things.

Gilbert started laughing and said, “Nice apron.”

She looked down at her apron that said _I’ll bake love to you_ and, despite being a bit embarrassed, simply said, “Thank you.”

“What are you doing?” he asked her.

“Cooking,” she said bluntly. “I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

“I can see that. **Why** are you cooking?”

“I wanted to make you something for your birthday.”

“And I told you I didn’t want anything for my birthday.”

“Okay then, so here’s the truth,” she lied. “I've been craving this dish and I thought today would be the perfect day to enjoy it and the only kitchen I have available to use is this one. And then I remembered that it just so happened to be your birthday! What are the odds? So weird, right? And I considered for a moment that you said you planned to cook tonight, but I figured you would probably be too tired after studying all day. If that is the case, I thought maybe I could offer my leftovers for your convenience.”

He laughed softly and said, “You don’t know me.”

“I do. And you need to remember that your birthday isn’t just for you, it’s for your friends who love you. I know you didn’t want a big thing, but I thought maybe a casual evening with friends would be fun. Unfortunately, no one else was available at such short notice. So that leaves just me. Hence the ‘sorry.’ Regardless of all that though, I know you’re exhausted and there will be food ready by five. I know it’s early to eat dinner, but I assume those tacos didn’t fill you up for long, especially after going for a run. But if you aren’t hungry, it’ll keep. And I have a dessert too if you’re interested. It’s not cake; but I think you’ll like it.”

“Are you real?” he asked her.

“Ah, yeah, you can tell by the way I look like I just lost a fight in a bakery. If I were imaginary, I assume you’d imagine someone who looks a whole lot better than this.”

He laughed and said, “No I wouldn’t; you’re perfect. Can I help you with anything?”

“Absolutely not, get out of here until it’s ready, you and all your talking are going to mess me up.”

“Is it weird if I shower then? I didn’t shower after my run today and planned on doing so before you got here, but you are a plan ruiner.”

“Gross. Don’t you stink?”

“Um, no. I don’t think so. It wasn’t a long run and generally I’m pretty clean. Do I though?”

“Please don’t make me smell you,” she begged. “Just go shower. Like I said, it won’t be ready for a bit yet, take your time.”

Anne had never considered herself to be housewife material. Or any sort of wife material, honestly, but as she stood there cooking while listening to Gilbert singing in the shower, she didn’t hate the idea. Not that she didn’t want to have a career, she absolutely did, but she was having a hard time ignoring the warm feeling in her chest at the domesticity of the moment, even if she was here with a friend and not a boyfriend. Imagining the possibility wasn’t hurting anything, so she just let it be.

Ten minutes later he jogged into the kitchen, slid across the floor in his socks and bumped lightly into her side. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tightly into him and said, “Thank you so much, Anne.”

“Don’t thank me yet. You haven’t even tried it.”

“I don’t need to try it to be grateful that you’re here. What is it?”

“Chicken tikka masala with rice, naan and peas.”

“This is the dish that if I can handle it, I get to marry you, right?”

She genuinely laughed at his earnest delivery. “Wow. Very convincing performance, you almost seem excited about it. Well, we’ll need to give Bash a fair shot too, don’t we? I did make the offer to him first. Also, I believe I said that if you could handle it, we would **talk** about it.”

“I fully expect there to be a multi-page checklist a guy needs to pass to be worthy of you, don’t worry.”

“Right,” she laughed. “I assume you’re hungry now?”

“I was hungry at three. I’m starving now.”

“Don’t eat those stupid little tacos! It’s never enough! Here,” she said handing him a plate. “Eat.”

She turned on the oven to cook the dessert and then dished up a plate for herself. Gilbert was waiting for her to join him before he started.

“I told you to eat. You don’t need to wait for me.”

“Yeah, I do. Manners matter, Anne.”

She tore off a piece of her naan and threw it at his head. “You and your damn manners. You are too polite. It’s weird.”

She held her breath while he tried the first bite, which surprised her. Apparently, she was more nervous about his opinion than she thought.

“Well?” she asked expectantly. “Is it okay? Do you like it?”

“No, it’s not okay. This is undoubtedly the best thing I have ever eaten.”

“Really?” she asked excitedly.

“Yes, really, Anne. It’s fantastic.”

“It’s not too spicy, is it?”

“Not at all; I like the heat.”

They ate and enjoyed comfortable conversation, as they always did when there weren’t others around insinuating things.

After he finished, he stared at her for a moment and said, “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Why not?”

“It’s so much work. You didn’t have to do this. And I know you have a test on Monday.”

“It’s not work; it’s fun. I wanted to do this and I am already well prepared for my test. I planned for this, Gilbert. Don’t worry about it. You ready for dessert?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Apple crisp. And I brought ice cream as well.”

“You are amazing. Did you know that? I love apple crisp. My dad used to make it throughout harvest. I don’t think I’ve had decent apple crisp since he died.”

“The school’s version isn’t cutting it for you?”

“That would be apple mush, Anne. You know my feelings on that shit.”

“Well, I hope you like mine. I haven’t made it in a long time so I hope I remembered everything.”

They both rose from their chairs and put their dishes in the dishwasher. Anne got the crisp out of the oven while Gilbert got out the ice cream and clean dishes.

“That looks and smells amazing. I think you’ve succeeded.”

They sat down to enjoy the dessert and even Anne was impressed with herself.

“I have to admit, this is pretty damn good,” she said.

“I love hearing you compliment yourself.”

“That’s weird.”

“It’s really not. Once in a while I get just a glimpse of you figuring out how awesome you are and it’s great. It gives me hope.”

“What the hell? What does it give you hope for?”

“That one day you’ll see yourself as the rest of us do.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, so they finished the dessert in comfortable silence. When they were done, Gilbert cleared the table while Anne started putting away the leftovers.

When they had finished cleaning up Gilbert said, “Seriously Anne, thank you so much for being here and doing this. I’ll admit it was nice to actually enjoy my birthday. I didn’t really know that it was possible.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s hard to celebrate the day I killed my mother.”

“You didn’t kill her. And I’m kind of mad at your dad for not celebrating your birthday properly with you.”

“He tried, really he did. When I was young he would make a big deal about it, but as I got older, even though he didn’t let it show too much, I could tell that it was always a really hard day for him. I didn’t care enough to push for big celebrations, so I just let it be.”

“Well, it never needs to be a big thing, just let people show you that they care about you.”

“Wow, I must be bad if I’m getting that lecture from you.”

“Yeah, I know that this is another pot/kettle thing. Shut up.”

Anne realized she had accidentally left her apron on and started to remove it.

Gilbert looked at her and said, “That is the best apron I have ever seen.”

“Right? I couldn’t help myself. As soon as I got the money from Cole’s painting I went to The Bronze Kettle- that’s where I saw that pillow I mentioned on Valentine’s Day last year, I’m not sure if you remember that or not.”

“I remember,” he said smiling as he leaned back against the cabinet.

“Well, I’ve never been able to just go and spend money, you know? I mean, I was never wanting for anything once I got to the Cuthbert’s but I also didn’t want to be a burden. And they paid me too, to work at Green Gables, but I saved that to spend on small things like clothes and make-up, you know?”

“Absolutely. I totally remember saving up for my first lip-stick.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “You know what I mean. So, when I got all this money, I wanted to get something for me, just because I could.”

“And you chose an apron? Seems a bit domestic for you, isn’t it? Not judging, just curious.”

“I know and I agree. But it made me laugh. And I knew I would use it which helped me justify spending the money a little bit. Oh! Speaking of that store, I got you a present.”

“No you didn’t! You’ve done enough! You’ve done way too much. Please don’t.”

“It’s small. I promise. I noticed you don’t have many mugs and for the amount of coffee you drink it’s just criminal, so I got you this,” she said and produced a mug from the cupboard.

He read the mug, “‘Don’t half-ass anything. Always use your full ass.’” He laughed and then continued, “I need to go to this store.”

“They’re open until 9. Do you want to go?”

“Now? I thought we were going to watch a movie.”

“It’s only six. I think we’ll have plenty of time. And I’d like to go on a walk after eating all that. Please?”

“The only way I’m going now is if you let me buy you something.”

She stopped suddenly, “Are you crazy? Wha… why… why would you do that?”

“Because I want to. And you can’t stop me, because it’s my birthday and I get to do what I want. That’s how it works, right?”

“You remain the most infuriating person in my life,” she said as she led him to the front door.

“But you still hang out with me. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Watch yourself or I’ll stop.”

“And Diana calls me a bad liar. Let’s go then,” he said, holding her jacket for her as she put it on.

“Seriously again with the archaic manners. What is this? I know how to put on my own damn coat!”

“I know you do, but wasn’t that easier?”

She glared at him in response. They finished putting on hats and scarves and walked the three blocks to the store as the snow fell around them. When they approached the building Anne said, “Don’t you dare open that door for me.”

“It’s my birthday. I get to do what I want,” he said as he held it open for her.

She stood there silently, refusing to go in, so he put his arm around her and ushered her through the door as he said, “You brought this on yourself. Now, about me buying you something...”

“Fine. I’ll let you get me something, but it has to cost less than five dollars.”

“I object. You easily spent fifty dollars on me today between all the food, the gift and not to mention anything about the time. I’m going to spend however much I feel like.”

“Gilbert! You have no money!”

“I have enough. Don’t worry about it. I’m not so desperate to impress you that I would spend money that I don’t have.”

“Since when do you feel like you have to impress me?”

“Since always, you’re kind of a big deal.”

“Yeah. Right.”

“I am right, do you still not get that?”

“I’m an orphan from nowhere with nothing.”

“God, Anne, how can you still talk about yourself like that?”

“Old habits die hard. Also, I’m not wrong.”

“You are completely wrong. You have a family. You have a home. Our school hands out three full-ride scholarships for every class, and you earned one, pretty much on your own after enduring abuse and essentially fighting for survival. And now you’re up for that journalism internship even though you just added that as a second major at the start of the year.”

“I’m going to kill Diana,” Anne said through her clenched teeth, “Why did she tell you that?”

“Why didn’t you? Did you think I wouldn’t notice all the extra classes or the fact that you are exhausted all the time?”

“I just wanted to make sure I could do it before everyone knows about it and I fail.”

“First of all, I wish you would have trusted me with that; you know I would have kept your secret. Second: You don’t fail at things. And even if you did, it would only prove that you’re human. As it stands, the verdict is still out on that. Third: Let me be while I find you something. And no peeking.”

Gilbert walked around and found a million things that reminded him of her, there were a couple rings that caught his eye. One said _Fuck It_ and the other said _Do no harm, but take no shit._ Both seemed appropriate, but he couldn’t get her a ring. Not even those ones. Not yet.

There was a mug that said _I am a ray of fucking sunshine_ that was completely on point. She hadn’t been lying when she said she wasn’t a morning person. She eventually turned into her kind self, but every time they went to work out together, her attitude started out as volatile at best.

He was tempted to get her the pillow that said _I have never faked a sarcasm in my life,_ but while humorous and true, he didn’t want to get that close to a discussion on sex. He finally decided on a different decorative pillow before making sure Anne was out of sight and heading over to a small display case and grabbing the attention of the clerk.

“Hi, excuse me. That girl who was just over here, with the red hair? Do you know what she was looking at?”

“Yes, it was the gold PEI necklace. I mentioned we could punch a heart on her hometown if she’d like, but she just smiled kind of sadly and said no thank you.”

“Can I get one please? With the heart on New London?”

“Yeah. Just give me five minutes and I’ll meet you at the register.”

He walked over to the register and waited there. After paying, he pocketed the necklace, took the bag, thanked the clerk and went to find Anne.

***

When they returned to the house Gilbert handed her the bag.

She opened it and took out a rainbow striped pillow that said _Magical as F*ck!_

“Oh my gosh, Gilbert, I love it! I almost bought this for myself. Not even joking, but I didn’t because it cost… No, Gilbert. Please take it back.”

“No.”

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” she complained as she took off her boots and coat and made her way over to the couch.

“I **am** listening to you and I always listen to you, just not in the way you expect. Right now, I’m listening to the look on your face that showed me how happy you were when you saw the pillow. Anything regarding the price is not your concern so just say ‘thank you’ and accept the gift.’”

“Thank you.”

“Now was that really so hard?”

“You know that it was,” she said through her clenched teeth.

Gilbert went to the kitchen to get a beer for himself and some wine for Anne and then joined her, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch.

“What’s going on?” he asked after observing the look on her face as she read something on her phone.

“Well, way to go, Gilbert. I just got a text from Diana asking me to see if I can stay here tonight. Good thing you got me a pillow. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“They are **not** sleeping together already!”

“First of all, I didn’t say that she was sleeping with him. Also, they are adults capable of making responsible decisions. Stay out of it.”

“Right, sorry.”

“But if it brings you any peace of mind the text reads: OMG he kissed me!!! We’re going to watch a movie at our place. If you could stay at Gilbert’s for the night, I’d really appreciate it.”

“The whole night to watch a movie? Yeah. Sure.”

“Gilbert? Do you trust Diana?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust Jerry?”

“Medium.”

“Come on, you know you wouldn’t set her up with anyone but the very best.”

“Fine.”

“Then whatever they do tonight, it’s on them. Diana seems really excited about him and you know Jerry can’t do better, so just leave it alone.”

“Fine, but I’m going to need a distraction.”

“Just let me finish up this conversation and we can watch a movie.”

What Anne had mentioned to Gilbert was not nearly the entirety of the conversation.

**Diana - Mobile**

_OMG he kissed me!!!_

_I’m so happy for you! YAY!!!!!_

_We’re going to watch a movie at our place.  
If you could stay at Gilbert’s for the night, I’d  
really appreciate it. _

_I don’t think that’s a problem. I’ll let you know._

_Also, tell him you’re in love with him.  
I’m actually requesting you stay there more for  
your sake than for mine.  
Please, please, please, tell him you love him.  
That would be such an amazing birthday present.  
Jerry agrees._

_You are not talking about this with Jerry!_

_Well, not anymore._

_OMG how much does he know?_

_I don’t know how to answer that safely.  
I’ll only say that I think Gilbert’s the only one who  
doesn’t know about your feelings for him._

_So wouldn’t you think that would be a sign  
that he doesn’t feel the same?_

_NO.  
It seems to me that the more someone is into  
someone the greater the chances are that that  
person is blind to the possibilities with that someone._

_Are you drunk right now?_

_Just fuck him and see what happens._

_OMG Diana stop drinking._

She turned to Gilbert and said, “I have something I need to ask you and I am 100% serious and please don’t judge me.”

“Okay?” he asked, trying not to sound worried.

“Have you ever wanted to punch Diana?”

He laughed and said, “Yes, actually. That’s part of the reason I wanted her to meet someone. The frequency of that urge was becoming frightening. What did she say?”

“Unfortunately, nothing that hasn’t been said before,” she said as she slumped back into the couch. “Are you going to pick the movie or do you actually want to watch _Pride and Prejudice_?”

“Really? **That’s** your choice? You’re going to make me watch a movie with you on my birthday where all you’re going to do is sit here drooling over some other guy? As much fun as that sounds, no thank you.” He knew he had slipped up by saying ‘some other guy,’ but assumed she wouldn’t notice. And he was right.

“Come on! You’ll like him! I promise! And the story is wonderful! And Kiera Knightly is in it! Quite the hottie, is she not? It’ll be a treat for us both!”

“‘Quite the hottie, is she not’?” he asked while laughing, “Did you forget how to speak?”

“Shut up, it’s awkward to talk to you about women. I don’t know what you’re into.”

“Then you aren’t paying attention,” he said, grabbing the remote away from her.

“What?”

“Nothing. We’re not watching _Pride and Prejudice._ Let’s watch _Doctor Who._ And before you complain, I promise you’ll like it. I wouldn’t make you watch something that you would find boring.”

***

They spent the night watching episodes of _Doctor Who_ and Anne found that she actually really liked it.

“Okay, so they are just going to be all light and happy until I start getting tired and then they are going to scare the shit out of me with these fucking stone angels? What kind of shit is- who wrote this?”

“Steven Moffat.”

“What kind of shit is Moffat trying to fucking pull?”

“Did you know you swear a lot more when you’re drunk?”

“Did you know my mouth would always be this filthy if I didn’t make such a concerted effort to clean it up at all times?”

He laughed and asked, “Really?”

“Yeah. You should hear the running dialog I have in my head. Actually, you really shouldn’t. But it’s straight up trash.”

“Give me an example.”

“Well, for example, when you arrived home early what did I say?”

“Um, I think I called out for Cole and you said, ‘Nope, just me, sorry’ or something like that.”

“Well what I wanted to say was closer to ‘Get your ass out of this fucking house, you’re ruining the fucking surprise you lying piece of shit.”

“Wow,” he said, laughing. “Okay. When did I lie?”

“You said you wouldn’t be back until five.”

“Right.”

“Damn these fucking angels! Seriously! I’m not going to be able to sleep!”

“You’ve had a bottle of wine; I think you’ll sleep just fine.”

***

“I’m so fucking hot.”

“Seriously? You are always cold. Are you sick?”

“No. I’m drunk and falling asleep in jeans and a sweater.”

“So, take them off.”

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“Sure, I can. You are under blankets and it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to just parade myself around in front of you! I’m no hussy.”

“You’re right. That’s obviously something that needed clarifying as you sit here sweating, fully dressed under three blankets instead of making yourself comfortable. Do you want a t-shirt to wear?”

“Yes, please.”

“Then why the hell didn’t you just say yes when I asked you the two times before?” he asked as he got up, exasperated.

“Probably because I hadn’t started drinking yet!” she called after him as he went to his room.

“You are so fucking stubborn!” he called back. “Just let me be nice to you!”

He got back to the room, balled the shirt up and chucked it at her head. He had changed into some athletic pants and a t-shirt. She doubted that’s what he typically wore to bed but appreciated that she didn’t have to worry about passing out at the sight of seeing him shirtless.

“You can sleep in your bed you know; you don’t need to stay out here with me.”

“But who will protect you from the weeping angels?”

“Very funny.”

She stood up and walked to the bathroom to change. When she was walking back, she caught him staring and said, “Don’t look at me like that, this was your idea.”

“What exactly do you think I’m staring at you like?”

“Like I’m some weird stray you took in and now you can’t get rid of her.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was **me** who forced my way into **your** life. Don’t be stupid, Anne. I’m the stray here. And you need to learn how to read people better.”

She laid down on the floor next to him and watched about ten minutes more before falling asleep. When Gilbert heard her breathing even out, he got up and walked to his room. He retrieved the necklace he bought earlier and went to put it on her as she slept, knowing that nothing could wake her once she was out.

***

Cole came home around two in the morning and found Gilbert and Anne sleeping on the floor in front of the TV, holding hands.

“What the fuck?!” he whispered excitedly and jumped through the room cheering silently. When he calmed down enough to hold his phone steady, he took a picture and then pretty much skipped to his bedroom with excitement that things were finally happening.

***

Gilbert woke early; he always did. He cleaned up things from the night before and then started to make pancakes. He tried to be quiet, but the noise must have woken Anne up and after going to the bathroom, she stormed in, still dressed only in her underwear and his t-shirt and was absolutely fuming.

“What the fuck is this?” she yelled as she pulled on the chain around her neck.

“Um… it looks like a necklace,” he said calmly as he made a show of examining the item before going back to flipping pancakes.

“I can’t accept this, Gilbert.”

“Accept what?”

“This necklace you gave me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re really going to stand there and tell me you didn’t buy me this necklace yesterday when we went shopping or put it around my neck while I was sleeping.”

“Since I know the alternative leads me to returning it to the store because you think you’re in charge of me, yeah. Absolutely. As far as I’m concerned, you grew that necklace in your sleep. It’s just like your pillow says: Magical as fuck. Coffee?”

She took it from him and then he handed her the caramel creamer she kept at his place and she kept yelling. “So, I’m just supposed to accept that between the pillow and the necklace you spent sixty dollars on me on a whim on **your** birthday.”

“Again, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Also, they were on sale, so calm the fuck down.”

“Gilbert… I… I can’t take it. It’s too much.”

“You will take it, because you, like all good people, deserve kindness. It doesn’t need to be your birthday or Christmas for me, hypothetically speaking of course, to show you that I care about you by getting you something that I think will make you happy. Sometimes, it’s candy, sometimes it’s a taco, most the time it’s coffee and this time it’s a necklace and a pillow. You are someone Anne, from somewhere, and you need to remember that. I’m hoping the necklace will help. Now, shut your mouth and eat your pancakes.”

“How the fuck is that supposed to work?”

“Smart ass,” he said as he sat down next to her and started eating.

***

When Anne returned to her dorm, she ran into Diana and Jerry talking just inside the front door of the building. Anne said ‘hi’ as kindly as she could, after all, it wasn’t them she was mad at, and went up to her room.

Jerry laughed softly and Diana said, “What?”

“She looks mad.”

“She has two moods after spending time with Gilbert, irate and aroused, and I’m pretty sure they’re becoming the same thing.”

“Do you think there’s any chance they finally figured it out?”

“No. She certainly didn’t look ‘figured out,’ did she?”

“Definitely not. You’re a good friend for trying to help them.”

“I’m not sure how much I’m helping. But I **am** trying.”

“They’ll figure it out. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Sounds good,” Diana smiled. 

Jerry kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave. When he reached the door he turned back to face her and leaned against it and said, “You know, I always gave Gilbert so much crap for being so in love with Anne after knowing her for such a short amount of time. I distinctly remember telling him that it was infatuation, not love; that he didn’t know enough about her for it to be love. But he was always so sure, he said he had never been so sure of anything in his life.”

“Yeah,” Diana agreed. “He pretty much said the same thing to me.”

“I’ll need to apologize to him.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I didn’t understand. I do now.”

***

“So you’re together now, right?” Cole asked Gilbert as he came into the kitchen after Anne left.

“No. Why would you say that?”

“Because when I came home you were sleeping next to her and holding her hand.”

“I was sleeping next to her, yes, but I didn’t touch her.”

“Gilbert, don’t lie. I saw you. You were facing each other, lying on the ground and her hand was in yours, nearly wrapped into your chest, like you had just kissed it and fallen asleep.”

“I think I would remember if I fell asleep holding her hand, Cole. And I would certainly remember if I kissed it.”

“Alright, I really didn’t want it to come to this,” he said pulling out his phone.

“Oh my god,” Gilbert said as he sat down hard in his chair. “What the hell?”

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“No.”

“How much did you drink?”

“Not enough to lose memory. It must’ve just happened entirely in my sleep.”

“This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Even your subconscious minds are more aware of your connection than you are.”

“Do not show her that picture, please. She’ll kill me.”

***

When Gilbert went for a run, Cole sent the picture to Anne.

**Anne – Mobile**

_Care to explain this?_

_What the fuck is that?  
Did you photoshop that?_

_No. That’s what I walked in on last night._

_No way did that actually happen.  
I would have remembered that._

_How much did you drink?_

_Enough to be tired, not enough to lose my mind._

_Well, you two are looking mighty cozy here._

_Please tell me you haven’t shown him that.  
Just keep it to yourself. Please. I seriously have no  
memory of doing that and I don’t want him to get  
all creeped out._

_Anne, he doesn’t look creeped out.  
He looks more into it than you are._

_Probably because he’s sleeping and doesn’t know  
that it’s me! OMG please don’t show him._

_Fine.  
We’ll just act like nothing happened._

_Thank you._

***

“So… how was Gilbert’s?” Diana asked her when she got up to the room.

“Fine,” Anne responded as airily as possible. “How is Jerry?”

Diana couldn’t help but smile.

“He’s great. Anne. Seriously great. It’s like you and Gilbert.”

“If you were making out, then it’s nothing like me and Gilbert.”

“I mean he gets me, even though we are so different, he gets the family pressure and not following the path of what your parents set up for you. It’s awesome. And I’m already comfortable around him. When I dated in high school, I always felt like I was trying to play a role, but I’m just myself around him and it is wonderful.”

Anne went over and hugged her friend and whispered, “I’m so happy for you, Diana.”

“Thank you,” she whispered back.

“I need to know. Did you break out the corset?”

Diana laughed, “Hell no! Don’t get me wrong, the kissing was hot. Very hot. But that’s enough for now. Now please, tell me what happened at Gilbert’s.”

“Nothing happened, Diana. Nothing will ever happen. But we had a great time. When it’s just the two of us, we get on so much better than when the rest of you are around. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m more comfortable because you guys all know about my feelings for him and he doesn’t or what, but I’m more myself when it’s just us two. And even when there are awkward moments between us, I don’t think he feels it and he just brushes over it. It’s great.”

“Is that a new necklace?”

“What?”

“Your necklace. I don’t remember seeing it before. Is it new?”

“This old thing?” she asked nonchalantly, cursing herself for not taking it off before Diana saw it.

“Where did you get the necklace from Anne?”

“You know, the weirdest thing happened! Gilbert got me this magical pillow,” she said as she showed her the pillow, “And I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was around my neck! Can you believe it? It really is magical as fuck, right?”

“Oh my god, Gilbert got that for you?”

Anne scrunched up her face like she was preparing for pain and nodded.

“And you still think he isn’t into you?! What is the matter with you?! You are the blindest idiot in the whole fucking world!”

“He just felt bad for all the trouble he thinks I went through to cook him dinner and for the gift. He was just making it even, you know- fair and square.”

“It was **his** birthday! That’s not how it works!” Diana yelled as she snatched the pillow out of Anne’s hands and started hitting her with it in frustration.

********Back to the Bonfire********

“So, confession,” Gilbert began quietly, “I lied. I absolutely remember taking your hand in mine. I kissed it and fell asleep holding it. I didn’t care if you figured it out. It was a coward’s move, but it was all I could do.”

Anne laughed, “And I lied too. I woke up around four AM and found my hand in yours and I didn’t care, or rather I enjoyed it too much to change it. I figured I just reached out and grabbed yours in the middle of the night. I definitely didn’t know you kissed it though. But I did tell you that I loved you and started crying with wine-induced frustration, so there’s that.”

“So what happened that morning then?” Jerry asked.

“Well, I woke up, squeezed her hand, placed it gently on the floor, tucked her hair behind her ear, told her I loved her and went to make her breakfast.”

“Holy shit you actually said that?! I totally thought that was a dream!” Anne exclaimed.

“Nope, that happened. Sorry.”

“And I figured our hands just became separated during the night and you never realized it, or that everything had been some crazy dream, though that possibility vanished with the picture.”

“So you **both** lied to me?! Come on! I was rooting for you two!” Cole yelled.

“I think we were lying to ourselves more than anything. You just got caught in the crossfire. Sorry man,” Gilbert apologized.

“So how often did you hold hands while sleeping?”

“I don’t know, a few, as far as I’m aware,” said Anne. “But it eventually became more accepted, like I fell asleep a couple times when he was giving me a hand massage. But it’s not like we were sleeping around each other a lot.”

“Seventeen times. It happened seventeen times,” Gilbert said.

Everyone laughed at the fact that he kept count and he defended himself, “Hey, at least I don’t count how many times we’ve had sex.”

“Usually it was just when we passed out after drinking or one party or another, it kind of became a habit. And then it just, like, stopped and we didn’t fall asleep around each other for a long time. I’m not sure what caused that.”

“I assume that would have been Diana and Jerry’s wedding, was it not, Gilbert?”

“Shut the fuck up, Cole.”

“Still haven’t talked about it?”

“No. We haven’t. Not eager to admit to that level of shame.”

“Well, maybe have another drink then because I assume it’ll come up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All medical facts Gilbert presents are just things I found on the internet from a quick search. Sorry if they are incorrect.
> 
> The song they sing while studying is Alive with the Glory of Love by Say Anything. It’s an amazing song with an amazing story. Enjoy.
> 
> The apron and all the gifts Gilbert describes in The Bronze Kettle are actual things that can be bought and that I did not come up with. As far as I know, The Bronze Kettle is not a real place.
> 
> The necklace is gold plated, obviously not real, solid gold.
> 
> Anne and Gilbert are watched the first 5 episodes of Season 5 of Doctor Who.


	9. All's Fair in Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie tells us about a massive fight between Anne and Gilbert, and after this one they did NOT just brush it off and go back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to need to ask you to go easy on me for this one. It was really hard to get this to work and I'm not sure that it does. And the more I work on it, I don't think it's getting any better, so we will just see what happens.

“You held my hand while I was sleeping seventeen times?” Anne asked. “Are you sure? I really only remember like six or seven.”

“You sleep really, really hard,” Gilbert explained. “I promise I didn’t make that number up.”

“Anne, could you really not see that Gilbert was in love with you?” Ruby asked. “Look at everything he did!”

“You need to remember that I was still figuring out what friendship was-”

“But you had many other guy friends and none of them treated you like that. Moody, Charlie, Jerry, Cole- none of them did what Gilbert did,” Jane said.

“But he was my best friend, so it was different.”

“Damn straight it was different,” said Charlie. “None of the rest of us ever came home complaining about how hot you are.”

“Or how good you smell,” added Jerry.

“Or about how your laughter sounds like music,” said Moody.

“Or that we were so fucking in love with you we thought it would kill us,” said Cole.

“Alright,” said Gilbert. “I think she gets it.”

“Diana was one of your best friends too and she didn’t treat you that way,” Josie argued.

“Look, I know **now** that it doesn’t make sense, and we know that when I finally started to see it, when everything started to click into place, I made bolder choices and I went for it, but it just took a long time to figure it out. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I couldn’t see it. I just couldn’t.”

“So what’s your excuse then, lover boy?” Moody asked.

“In my defense Anne was not nearly as flirtatious as I was. And I swear sometimes it seemed like she was actively pushing me toward other women. How was I supposed to have any itdea that she reciprocated my feelings? She didn’t even say that she found me attractive until senior year, and even then, it wasn’t until the day before we finally got together.”

“Well, she told the rest of us,” Josie said.

“She didn’t even have to tell us!” said Tillie, laughing. “Every time she checks him out, she bites her lip!”

“Oh my god I do **not** do that!”

“You totally do,” Diana agreed. “You’ve been openly leering at him since you admitted to me you were in love with him.”

“And at that acoustic night they did you actually drooled,” Jane added.

“That wasn’t drooling! My mouth was open in astonishment and some saliva just fell out.”

Jane laughed, “That is the exact definition of drooling!”

Anne rolled her eyes and tried to change the subject, “I think it’s time for another story! Who’s next?”

“Miss Josie Pye with _The Breakup_ ,” Sebastian said as he looked at the story order on his phone. “Sorry you two, but everyone agreed that it needed to be discussed.”

“Why exactly?” Gilbert asked.

“Because no one has ever broken up that dramatically without actually being together. That blowout was epic,” Josie explained.

Sebastian added, “And we need to know what happened at that party for my story to make sense.”

“And your story is?” Gilbert asked.

“Your three-week vacation at Green Gables.”

“Oh god,” Gilbert said rubbing his eyes. “First of all, it wasn’t a vacation, I was helping out.”

“Sure you were. Is there a second of all?”

“Yeah. You’re going to tell everyone what happened in the barn,” Gilbert accused.

“You know it,” Sebastian said with a smile.

“You filthy fucking liars! We knew you got up to something in there!” Cole yelled out above the commotion of the group.

“Calm down everyone, it’s not what you think,” Anne yelled out. “And if you’re looking for some lurid story you are going to be **extremely** disappointed.”

“Tell me right now that you two didn’t have sex in that barn,” Cole demanded.

“Cole!” Anne yelled. “We didn’t even kiss until senior year!”

“You didn’t answer me.”

“I swear on my life that we did not have sex in that barn,” Anne said dramatically and then added quietly, “until recently.”

There were cheers and laughter at the clarification.

“I can’t believe you told him, Gilbert,” she said. “Here I was thinking we had some big secret and Bash knew the entire time?”

“Please, girl, he was so excited he hardly made it through the door before spilling the beans. And really can you blame him? After wanting you for so long, that simple thing was a **major** victory.”

“Well, obviously now you know that it was for me too but come on! Keep a secret!”

“There’s no way I could possibly have kept that to myself! I was fucking pumped. To me, that moment was better than anything, it was like winning the lottery. No, it was better than that. You changed my whole outlook that day. Bash and I even went out that night to celebrate.”

“You played it off like it was the most common thing that has ever occurred. You seemed almost bored at the idea.”

“Well, that was what I was going for. I had to cover up that I fully thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I swear I almost passed out when you suggested it.”

“Stop talking about it without telling us what happened!” Tillie yelled.

“Fine. Josie, just get on with it then,” Anne urged. “And then we’ll get to the stupid barn.”

“Okay, let’s go over this quickly so we can get on to the juicy stuff,” Josie suggested.

“It’s not juicy!” Anne and Gilbert yelled together. Then Anne added, “It’s barely even ‘stuff.’”

********May, Sophomore Year********

“I didn’t say you looked big, Anne, I said you looked strong, which, in my opinion may as well be synonymous with hot. And of course you weigh more now than you did when we started working out. You didn’t have an ounce of fat on you and now you’ve added a bunch of muscle. Since when do you care about a number on a scale anyway?”

“Since it started going up!” she yelled at him. They were working out. It was Thursday, which wasn’t a typical work out day for Anne, but finals week had everything messed up and she couldn’t say no to Gilbert, so here she was standing next to him as they both did bicep curls. “I’ve weighed the same since I was fourteen! Until recently, that is. Tell me, have **you** gained weight since we began this shit show?”

“No,” he answered quietly.

“And how much weight have you lost?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I feel better, I can make it to the top of the science building without wheezing and Bash isn’t going to make fun of me anymore.”

“He’ll still make fun of you; you still don’t have a girlfriend,” she teased. Then her tone fell flat and she asked again, “How much weight have you lost, Gilbert Blythe?”

He mumbled something and avoided eye contact.

“Excuse me?” she asked, as they both set their weights down on the bench between them.

“I think about 10 kilograms.”

“Son of a bitch!” she said and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! Be nice to me! And get your freaking thumb out of your fist when you punch!” he said as he took her hand and formed it into a proper punching position before dropping it. “Look, I’m not going to apologize for getting in shape. Obviously, I had the weight to lose and you just didn’t. I promise, you look great! And now you also look like you can beat someone up so you’re extra scary.”

“Pshh, yeah, because that’s what I’m going for. I started working out so people look at me and go ‘Holy shit, don’t mess with her.’”

“So why **did** you start working out then?” he asked while they put their weights away.

“Because you looked at me like your entire existence was hanging on me saying yes!” she teased.

“See? You get me. You really do,” he joked as they walked over to the Smith Machine, which was Gilbert’s least favorite part of their routine. Anne didn’t seem to notice every guy in the room not so subtly staring at her ass when she did squats, but he sure as hell did. He wouldn’t ever admit to himself that he was just jealous because they all had a better view than he did because he was standing too close to her.

She admitted shyly, “Look, I thought that maybe exercise would help make me more attractive. Apparently, I was wrong. And I certainly don’t need any help appearing scary.”

“I **just** said that strong was hot, so it’s possible that you actually have gotten more attractive.”

 _Then why don’t you want me?_ she thought, but she asked, “So then why doesn’t anyone ask me out?”

“You really want me to get started on this? Because I have a few ideas. Also, why don’t you ask anyone out?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to go about that. I just don’t get it. I’m smart and I’m a good person, I think, so it must be how I look, right?”

“It’s not how you look!”

“Tell me then, Gilbert. Lay it out for me,” she demanded while bracing herself to hear from the guy she was in love with exactly why guys didn’t like her. _Why do I do this to myself?_ she thought.

“Well, maybe if you showed even the slightest interest in someone, they might get the confidence they need to approach you. Maybe they think you are too good for them. Maybe it’s because they know what you are looking for and they don’t fit the description. Maybe it’s because they are simply afraid you will say no or that they know you could have your choice of anyone, so why would you choose them?”

“No one in their right mind would think I’m too good for them and I can hardly have my pick of anyone, that’s ridiculous.”

“No it’s not,” some guy said, interrupting their conversation. “But maybe it’s because we all assume you’re with this guy and that you’re unavailable. I’m Jake,” he said, offering his hand out to her.

“Anne,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “So, you’re saying it’s Gilbert’s fault that no one is interested in me?”

“No, I’m saying it’s Gilbert’s fault that no one is asking you out. There are plenty of people interested in you.”

“Told you,” Gilbert said as he added weights to the bar. “And I assume that you’re one of them, Jake?”

“That depends on how available you need me to be,” he said to Anne. “I kind of have a girlfriend.”

“And she’s so lucky to have you,” Gilbert said sarcastically.

Anne managed to say, “That’s not really what I’m looking for, but thanks.”

“No problem,” he said with a confident smile and walked away.

“Well look at that, I’m good enough to be someone’s side piece. Woo!” she said before hitting her head against the machine.

“No, you’re better than that and you know it or you could have agreed to his little proposition. Can I confess something to you?”

“Only if it’s your undying love for me,” she said as a joke, hoping her craziest dream could come true.

“What?” he asked, as he stumbled and nearly dropped the weight he was carrying.

“Wow, I’m joking, calm down,” she said, defeated. “I’ve had like four coffees already today; I hardly have control over the words leaving my mouth.”

“Right. Of course you were joking,” he said, trying not to sound too sad. “Anyway, I really did want you to work out with me. I missed you and I thought it would be fun. And it has been. But I was hoping that working out might improve your self-confidence. Hasn’t it helped at all?”

“I guess a bit,” she said and then thought about it. “Yeah, maybe. If nothing else I’ve grown more comfortable being a wallflower while every girl running around the track seems to actually slow down so she can look at you longer. So I guess that’s something.”

“That’s not true, they don’t do that.”

“Hey Gilbert!” called out a tall brunette as she jogged off the track and into the weight room.

“Oh, hey,” he said, as Anne turned her back in an effort to hide her laughing. Did Anne hate how often girls hit on him in front of her? Absolutely. But she also loved being right so she was going to take the small victory for what it was.

“How are you?” Gilbert asked politely.

“Pretty good,” the girl responded. “I just wanted to check and see if you went to the Alvarez study session last Saturday.”

“Yeah, I did, did you have a question about something?”

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to get together and study later.”

“The test is tomorrow, Christy, there’s not really a lot of ‘later’ left,” he said kindly.

“I know. That’s why I was hoping you’d be available tonight. After dinner.”

“Sorry. I can send you a copy of my notes if you’d like, but I have plans for the rest of the day and evening. It’s kind of crazy with it being finals week and all.”

“Right,” she said, disappointed. “Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the offer though. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Have a good day.”

Gilbert started his set immediately after she left and Anne watched her walk away and then said, “So that’s the famous Christy? The lab partner who keeps trying to get you to study with her?”

“Yes.”

“So why don’t you?”

“Because she doesn’t want to study, Anne. I’m not an idiot.”

“So why don’t you ‘not study’ with her? She was clearly disappointed when you said no.”

“I’m not interested, okay?”

“Why not? She is super pretty and really smart.”

“Yeah? So are you.”

Anne scoffed and said, “You’re an idiot.”

“ **You’re** an idiot,” he said back at her.

“Yeah. Good one, Gil.”

***

On her way back from the gym, she thought back to the previous summer when she was texting with Gilbert. He had asked her what the thing she liked most about herself was and she immediately thought _How you make me feel._ She knew this was wrong. She did. He **did** make her feel good. All her friends did, and she was still getting used to the warmth and joy that friendship brought her. It felt good to be well-liked and treated well, especially by those who you respect and admire. But even though she knew she was loved; she was still struggling to love herself.

Going to the gym was helping. She had downplayed it a bit when discussing it with Gilbert, but when she ignored the number on the scale, she couldn’t deny that she did, generally, feel kind of good about her body. She was getting really strong, which was pretty cool, and she liked seeing the slight muscle definition in her arms and not even she could deny that her legs looked fantastic.

Her issues regarding her hair persisted. As long as she walked into a room and immediately felt like the odd one out based just on her hair, she figured she would always feel unsure of herself.

 _But there are ways to change my hair color_ , she thought, smiling to herself. She had wanted to dye her hair ever since she learned that it was a possibility but she didn’t have the money or the means to do it while in foster care.

When she was living with the Cuthberts she didn’t want to ask Marilla to pay for it and was certain she wouldn’t allow it if Anne did it herself. Matthew got awkward anytime she talked about her appearance, and really, he wasn’t her guardian, Marilla was, so even if Matthew wanted to help Anne out, he would have run it past Marilla first.

But Anne had some money now, enough for hair dye anyway. And she was an adult capable of making her own decisions. And surely Josie would help her out, she had seen her dye her hair on more than one occasion. 

An hour later and after a brief walk to the store, Anne, Diana and Josie were in the bathroom of their dorm. Anne and Josie were both giddy with excitement. Diana was hesitant at best.

“Anne, I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Diana said. “You have the prettiest hair; it seems wrong to change it.”

“It’ll be fine, Diana. I can’t believe I didn’t think of doing this sooner! And if I don’t like it, it’s not like it will last forever. It’s just hair and this is temporary dye; it should wash out in a couple weeks. Don’t worry about it. And it’s not like I’m dying it blue. It is a thoroughly boring, basic color. Completely average,” she said with an excited smile.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Do you really want to be average?” Diana asked.

“Yes!” Anne yelled, “Now do it, Josie!”

“Your wish is my command,” Josie said, smiling at her in the mirror. She looked down at the box and said, “Let’s see what Anne looks like in medium natural brown aka ‘Truffle.’ That’s funny. Gilbert will need to start calling you Truffles now.”

“Like hell he will,” Anne scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Anne will always be Carrots to him. No box is going to be able to change that,” Diana said quietly and wondered if she should text Gilbert a warning regarding current events. She decided against it. _It’s none of Gilbert’s business what Anne decides to do with her hair,_ she thought, _no matter how disappointed he is going to be._

As Josie worked on Anne’s hair she said, “I have to be honest. I’m surprised you would want to dye your hair. It really is magnificent as it is. And seeing it so close it’s even more impressive. I totally get wanting to change things up once in a while though. It’s fun to keep it fresh and try new things.”

“You really like my hair?” Anne asked, surprised.

“Uh, yeah. Are you kidding me? It’s gorgeous,” she responded and then paused to look at Anne’s expression. “Wow. You really don’t care for it, do you? I always thought you were, like, trying to be modest, but you really don’t like it.”

“No, I don’t. It was the thing I was teased about most growing up. So it’s just a constant reminder of pain and torment. And a reminder of how I’m different and never really fit in. Honestly, I don’t know that I actually ever gave myself the chance to like it. It became a curse and that’s all I’ve ever seen it as.”

“Well, I assure you that no one I’ve heard mention your hair has had anything bad to say about it.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’ve heard nothing but jealousy from the girls and desire from the guys. But if you don’t like it, then there is no reason not to change it. Whether or not the opinions of others are good or bad. This is your call and yours is the only opinion that matters.”

“Exactly.”

“But maybe, and this is just a suggestion, try letting go of those bad memories; it’s not fair to yourself that that’s what you hold on to when you have so many good things going for you right now. When this washes out, give yourself a chance to like your hair as it is. If you don’t let our favorable opinions weigh into your decision, then you certainly shouldn’t let yourself be haunted by some jackasses from your childhood who were probably just jealous of you anyway.”

They continued chatting while waiting for the dye to set until Josie’s timer on her phone went off and she said, “Time to rinse, girl. Hop in the shower and then we’ll see what we got.”

Anne showered and dried her hair and presented herself to her friends.

“What do you think?” she asked hopefully.

“It looks really good!” Josie said. “It’s still nice and warm and goes really well with your skin. And it’s actually pretty natural looking; you can totally pull it off!” She wanted to add that it wasn’t as pretty as her hair naturally was, but she knew that wouldn’t help.

“It really does look great, Anne,” Diana agreed.

“But…” Anne led her, sensing something she wasn’t saying.

Diana held her tongue. She wanted Anne to enjoy this. She was clearly so excited about this change and she wanted to be supportive.

“But nothing Anne, it looks wonderful and you look really happy, which makes me really, really happy. You’ll just have to give me a couple minutes to get used to it, that’s all.”

*******

Finals week took a toll on them all, but it was finally Friday and Gilbert had just finished his last test. His conversation with Anne at the gym the previous day had thrown him a bit and he kept hearing her in his mind saying, _‘Only if you confess your undying love for me._ ’ She had said she was joking, but she had sounded so serious and so far away from her usual sarcastic self. His brain kept telling him that was actually what she wanted to hear, even though her words afterward indicated otherwise. The request plagued him during the night and he got very little sleep because of it. No sleep, a two-hour chemistry exam, and the insane amount of caffeine he had ingested to compensate for the lack of seep had left him with a throbbing headache.

Gilbert was texting Bash while waiting for Anne and Diana in the dining center when he saw someone sit down across from him out of the corner of his eye.

Without looking up he said, “Sorry, I’m actually waiting for someone.”

“Yeah, I know. Last time I checked it was me.”

He looked up suddenly at his best friend who was sitting in front of him with long, light brown, curly hair and a proud smile on her face.

“No comment at all, huh?” she asked, surprised at his lack of response.

He continued staring at her speechless, trying to determine if the headache was making him see things.

“Come on, it doesn’t look that bad!”

“You don’t look bad at all. It’s not possible for you to look bad. What the fuck did you do to your hair?”

“I dyed it, genius.”

He put his elbows on the table and rubbed at his temples and said, “Let me rephrase: Why the fuck did you do that to your hair?”

“I just wanted to try something different, I thought it would help me fit in a little more.”

Anne was dressed in tight jeans, a tiny university t-shirt and was wearing considerably more make-up than he was used to seeing her in. To be honest, he was still having a hard time recognizing her. He looked at the other girls around them and said, “Way to go then, you look exactly like everyone else.”

“Perfect!” she said happily.

“What?” he asked, utterly confused “But why would you want to…I’m sorry, never mind. I’m really not feeling well. Diana is coming, right?”

“Yeah, she’ll be here any minute now. Are you okay?”

“No. I mean, yeah. I think I’m just going to go back and rest for a bit. My head is killing me,” he said quietly. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay?” she said as he stood up. “Gil, shouldn’t you at least eat something?”

He didn’t respond. She turned to watch him leave and he didn’t even seem to acknowledge Diana as Anne watched them pass each other.

“Don’t even ask,” Anne said as Diana sat down awaiting an explanation. “I have no idea what happened. I sat down, he said like four things to me, mentioned he wasn’t feeling well, and then left.” _Which was not quite the reaction I was going for,_ she thought to herself.

Diana got out her phone and texted him.

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_Are you that fucking obsessed with her hair  
that you can’t even eat dinner with her as  
as brunette? What the fuck is wrong with you?_

_It’s not about her hair._

_The hell it isn’t._

_It’s not.  
Stay out of it, Barry._

“Well, he’s pissed about something.”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“He called me Barry. He only does that when trying to remind me how different we are and that I don’t always understand him.”

Anne sighed dramatically, “I guess that’s it then.”

“That’s what?”

“That was my last move.”

“Dammit Anne, I knew that you weren’t dying your hair for you.”

“Yes I did, Diana, I was just hoping he would like it too.”

“That wasn’t a move, Anne. You have made no moves. At all. Ever. Asking him out is a move. Giving him a clue that you are interested in him is a move. Telling him that you are fucking in love with him and have been since you met him is a move. Changing your hair color when the guy has repeatedly told you that he finds you attractive as you are is not a move. It’s like an anti-move.”

“What is he looking for then? He’s my best friend Diana, he clearly sees something in me worth liking and he has told me I’m pretty. What the fuck is missing?”

Diana searched for something to say and after racking her brain simply answered her honestly, “I don’t know what to tell you, Anne. I’m sorry.”

***

“So?” Anne asked Diana after getting dressed for the party, “What do you think?”

Diana looked at her and said, “I think the last time I saw this much of you you were wearing only your underwear.”

“Do I look okay though?”

“You look great, but what exactly is your goal here?” Diana asked, confused.

“To be normal; to be attractive.”

“Anne, you are beautiful normally, why change? Why don’t you like yourself?”

“I like myself just fine, it’s just that nobody else does.”

“And by nobody, you mean that you don’t think Gilbert does.”

“Gilbert is never going to see me as anything more than a friend. I need to accept that and get over it.”

“And this is part of getting over it? Changing everything about you?”

“I just want to feel good about myself; like I fit in. Why is that so bad?”

“It’s not Anne, I just want to make sure you’re doing it because you want to and not in reaction to something else.”

“Trust me, I want this. I’ve been feeling good about my body and bad about my hair, so I fixed it. Are you ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s just get this over with.”

“What do you mean? It’s an end of the year celebration!”

“Sorry girl, I just don’t have a very good feeling about tonight.”

***

The guys performed well enough and were very well received, but Anne and Diana could both tell Gilbert was off. He was smiling, but it wasn’t reaching his eyes. He was joking around like usual, but his laughter was hollow and forced. Regardless, Anne spent the night happily dancing with her friends. When the band was done, a DJ started playing and Anne kept dancing with Josie, happily celebrating the end of another year. A couple songs in, she saw Gilbert leaning against the wall at the back of the room. This was strange; usually he would come find her as soon as he got off stage, they would grab a drink together and talk or go out to eat at a 24-hour diner.

 _So he isn’t interested in me. Whatever,_ she thought, _he is still my best friend and clearly, he’s upset. The right thing to do is to try and cheer him up._

“Josie, sorry,” she apologized, “I need to go deal with something.”

Josie looked across the room to see what Anne was looking at and asked, “Are you going to kiss him?”

“No,” Anne answered with an eyeroll.

“Maybe you should try kissing him!” Josie suggested.

“No!” Anne said with a laugh.

“Or, wait, Anne I have one more idea!”

“And that would be?”

“Kiss him!” she yelled. Luckily it was crazy loud in there and there was no way that Gilbert could hear her.

“Yeah, that’s what I figured,” she continued laughing as she walked away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she leaned against the wall next to him.

“What are you doing to yourself?”

“I can’t hear you, come here,” she said as she grabbed his wrist and pulled him through the house and outside. “What now?”

“What are you doing to yourself?” he asked her quietly.

“I just wanted to try something a little different. I thought it would be fun to be normal for once.”

“What is normal? And why do you aspire to it when you are so much better?”

“I don’t know, maybe so for once I wouldn’t be the brightest head in the room? Maybe so for once my hair isn’t the only thing people see when they look at me?”

He made a show of checking her out as she self-consciously crossed her arms in front of her, taking in tank top that showed a couple inches of her stomach, the tight black skirt that was a little shorter than usual and Diana’s heels that he had heard her refer to as ‘Fuck Me Pumps.’

He laughed coldly and said, “Oh, dressed like that, I promise you that no guy in that house even knows that you have hair.”

“Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”

“What do you expect Anne? You want to use your body to gain attention instead of your hair? Well, I promise, you’ve got it.”

“Yeah, obviously I’d rather be noticed for something I feel good about than something that makes me feel like a freak. What the fuck is wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, not that I actually think you care about my opinion,” he said and tried to calm himself down. “I have been telling you since I met you how beautiful you are. And no, I would never expect you to do anything to your appearance because of something I’ve said, I know you don’t care what I think, but I don’t get why the teasing from your past has a more powerful voice than all of your friends who constantly tell you how amazing you are and how freaking beautiful you are. And I definitely don’t understand why you are suddenly all tarted up.”

“I’ll have you know that I feel good dressed like this and with this color hair. For the first time, like ever, I feel confident and not like some fucked up anomaly!” she cried out.

“What is wrong with you?!” he yelled at her, “You aren’t a fucked-up anomaly! **Nobody** thinks that except you! And you have been shown and told countless times that people find you attractive. Why don’t you believe us?”

“How dare you! There is **nothing** wrong with me!”

“Exactly! Then why change! You are essentially wearing a costume! Does confidence even count when you are dressed up as someone else?”

“It counts if I say it counts! We live in a world where we can change anything about ourselves at any time to help us feel more confident. Why can’t I take part in it? I had red hair yesterday, I’m a fucking brunette today and maybe tomorrow I will be blonde. What the fuck does it matter? Today I have blue eyes but in just a couple clicks and a couple days I could have purple or fuchsia. It doesn’t matter what the fuck I look like if it’s how I want to look!”

“It does matter,” he said as he lowered his voice and stepped closer to her. “Because I don’t think you’re doing it for you. Like it or not, I know you **really** well. Since I’ve met you, you’ve dressed only in clothes that make you feel the most comfortable, you dress for yourself. Most those clothes you are wearing now aren’t even yours, Anne. Those shoes are Diana’s and she got them to wear for Halloween. You told me you were borrowing the skirt from Josie and that is the tank top that just a few months ago you said you never wore it out because, and I quote, it was ‘way too skanky.’ Your words not mine.”

She matched his low tone and said, “Well, do you know what I remember of **your** words? You’re always the one saying that I need to find more confidence in myself. And look at that, I did! And you know what? I’m willing to bet that the prefect Gilbert Blythe is just upset that his ‘advice’ didn’t manifest the way he wanted it to. Tell me, is it frustrating when the puppets don’t do what the master wants?”

“Wow. Really? That’s what you think about me?” he asked, taken aback. “Good to know.”

Anne could tell that she had hurt him, but she pressed on, “Your obsessive need for control and thinking you know what’s best for everyone? How else would you describe it? ‘Diana’s making fun of me, oh I know! I’ll just put her over here with Jerry and they will live happily ever after and leave me alone!’”

“You were right there with me for that and I have **never** told you what to do. Who the fuck would even dare? Yeah, I suggested you work on your self confidence because I thought it would make you happier, but you’re right. It was selfish in a way. Do you know how much it hurts to see someone you lo-like so much tear themselves apart? Every single day, hearing you beat yourself up, it’s killing me. It is infuriating to hear the way you talk about yourself. If you could just see yourself as I see you, how we all see you-”

“Enough with calling me special and better than others!” she screamed. “I’m sick of it! Do you think that is supposed to make me feel good? Because all it does is make me feel even more strange! ‘This one is special guys, be careful with her!’”

“I don’t care if you don’t like it, you are unbelievably special and you fucking refuse to see it and it is infuriating. From your mind to your spirit. Your passion, dedication, everything about you, Anne. You seem to think that if you are capable of accomplishing something it must not be that hard to do and it is astounding how wrong you are. People don’t stare at you like you’re some curiosity. They are looking at you in awe. How do you not see that?! You are so far past average that you can’t even see how uncommonly wonderful you are, much less appreciate it for the gift that it is!”

“So I’m just supposed to appreciate not fitting in with my peers because **you** think it’s valuable?”

“No. I honestly don’t want you to give a shit about what I think and you’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t give a fuck about my opinion. Trust me; I get it. But I never wanted you to care about anyone’s opinion but your own. I wanted you to appreciate not fitting in because **you** think you are valuable and that you appreciate being unique. The Anne I know, **my** Anne, is magnificent. You are the only one who doesn’t see it and honestly, tonight, if you weren’t standing here yelling at me, I wouldn’t even be able to recognize you.”

She glared up and him, her eyes brimming with tears and said lowly and calmy, “That’s rich. Suddenly I’m yours when I decide to do something that you don’t approve of. That’s funny, really. You know what? The Anne you know does **not** belong to you and you have no fucking right to claim her as your own. Are we done?”

“Anne, I-” he said, reaching for her arm.

Anne jerked away from him. “No! Fuck you! I’m done!” she yelled, giving up. She continued speaking just above a whisper, but absolutely resolute, “Gilbert, we…we’re done.”

***

Josie, Jerry and Diana had been watching from inside the house. About two minutes into the conversation Diana said, “This is bad you guys.”

“What are you talking about? They fight all the time,” Josie said.

“Not like this,” Jerry agreed with Diana. “When they argue, they are never actually mad at each other, they are frustrated about something or debating opinions.”

“Or just venting, even. This is something I’ve not seen. They’re-”

“Fucking pissed at each other. Yeah I can see that. But why?” Josie asked. “What happened?”

“I have no idea,” Diana admitted. “I assumed he would be sad that she dyed her hair, but I don’t see how he could be this pissed about something that superficial.”

They continued watching and also warning others as they left to use the back door. It was clear Anne and Gilbert were yelling at each other, but the noise of the party was too much to overcome and their voices didn’t carry into the house. Eventually they saw Anne walk away crying while Gilbert remained on the porch nearly in tears himself.

Josie wasn’t very close with Gilbert, so she ran out the door after Anne.

“Jer, text Cole and give him a heads up, I’m going to go talk to Gilbert,” Diana said as she walked out the door. When it shut behind her she practically growled at him, “What the hell did you say to her?”

He clenched his fists and shook his head indicating he didn’t want to talk about it and turned to leave.

She ran after him and tried to adjust her tone. Sure, Anne was the one who ran off crying, but he clearly wasn’t doing too much better.

“Gilbert, what happened?”

“Nothing good,” he responded quietly as they walked toward his house.

“Tell me, Gilbert, please, I’m sure we can work it out.”

He summarized the fight and when he was done she said, “I’m sure you can fix it. Tell her how you feel. Explain to her why you reacted the way you did. I’m not saying it justifies your behavior, but at least it explains it a bit.”

“I can’t tell her, Diana.”

“No, you can. You just won’t and I’m getting really fucking sick of your excuses. Why the hell can’t you tell her that you love her? It’s been almost two years and your devotion to that woman is unwavering. I don’t understand your refusal to admit your feelings to her. None of it makes any sense!”

“I can’t tell her I’m in love with her when she doesn’t think there is anything in her worth loving!” he yelled. “What reason would she have to even believe me? She… I… I can’t be the reason she finds value in herself! Based on what I saw tonight she doesn’t even know who she is!”

“She knows who she is. She knows she is strong and smart and resilient and funny and so many other things.”

“And she finds those traits absolutely worthless in regard to finding someone to be with.”

“And you have the power to prove her wrong! Tell her you love her! Show her the value!”

“No! She shouldn’t need me or anyone else to validate her Diana. She is enough as she is and she needs to figure that out.”

“She’s a grown ass woman, Gil, I don’t think you need to tell her what she needs!”

“Diana,” he said as tears started running down his face, “My heart is breaking. Can we not do this right now?”

“No Gilbert, we need to figure this out,” she said as she put her arm around him. She led him to a bench and they sat down. “I think you have a point; people are best in relationships when they value themselves, but that can’t possibly be the only reason you haven’t made a move. I remember back when we went to Cole’s show, you were trying to figure out a way to tell her, right? Well, what happened? Did you just give up?”

“I decided that if it were right, if I were doing the right thing, it would just happen and it wouldn’t be so forced. I kept getting so worked up about it and it didn’t feel right, so I decided to wait until I figure it out.”

“What do you need to figure out? You love her, isn’t that enough?”

“Diana, I don’t know if you realize this or not, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I have never wanted anything more in my life and I don’t know how to do it. I am just some idiot guy who has fallen in love with a woman more magnificent than I could possibly dream up and it kills me that she doesn’t see her value. I don’t know how to show her that I love her, I don’t know how to tell her, I don’t know how to even be a boyfriend if I somehow get that far. God, Diana, I want to marry this girl and I’ve never even been around a successful marriage! The most I ever saw of a marriage was when Charlie’s parents would talk with us at dinner and then I occasionally saw the Lyndes kiss. I was barely allowed into your house, I have no idea how your parents act. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Say that I somehow find the courage to tell her that I love her, how the fuck do I do that?”

Diana was quiet.

“No, I’m actually asking, Di. How the fuck do you tell someone that you love them? How do you confess your feelings to someone when you are so completely terrified that she will look back at you convinced that you are joking because she has so little experience being treated properly that she just can’t believe a word you are saying? How do you tell one of your best friends that you have known since the moment you met that they are the only one you could ever see yourself marrying? Ever. Diana, there is no one for me but her. No one. She is it. And oh my god, thinking about her not reciprocating my feelings is bad enough, but the chance that she would be so put off by it that I lose her friendship? It would kill me. It **is** killing me. I’m losing her already and it’s killing me. The things I said to her tonight, I don’t expect her forgiveness. I don’t even deserve her forgiveness. She said we were done, and she meant it. I know she did.”

“So, you realize this whole fight tonight was just as much about your insecurities as it was about hers, right?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to put that together.”

“But you put it entirely on her. That’s not fair, Gilbert.”

“No it isn’t. It was just easier.”

“Yeah.”

“I am worried though. My concerns for her self-confidence are real. I’ve always heard that you can’t share love until you love yourself and I don’t think she’s there yet.”

“You know what I’ve heard? That when you are loved, you are sometimes able to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you. If you could tell her what you love about her, she might start to see those things as things worth loving.”

“But why should my opinion even matter? Why should the opinion of any one person matter? To put it simply, why is me telling me I love her hair, more important than someone else making fun of her for it?”

“Because hearing someone tell you they love you is more powerful than hate, Gilbert. Especially when it comes from such a wonderful person and from such a strong friendship.”

“So you suggest I use my friendship with her to manipulate her into a relationship with me just because for the first time in her life a guy is giving her the kind of attention she deserves?”

“It wouldn’t be manipulation- a boyfriend is supposed to make you feel good about yourself.”

“But his feelings can’t be the source of your identity. Diana, it’s the difference between ‘I feel beautiful’ and ‘I feel good because you think I’m beautiful.’ Or ‘I’m spectacular as an individual,’ versus ‘I need to be with someone to feel good about myself.’ It isn’t right. Is it?”

“No, it isn’t right to **need** to be with someone to feel good about themselves, but you know what? Anne **did** feel good about herself tonight. Really good. She was having a great night until her best friend yelled at her for actually doing what he wanted her to do.”

“She was pretending to be someone else.”

“And who was it hurting?! Let her figure it out. No, never mind, you have no power to grant her permission here. She will figure it out. On her own. In her own time. You can be a supportive friend or you can leave her alone. I know you love her, Gilbert, I do. It is overwhelmingly apparent to everyone but her and I think you are right; she can’t see your love for her partially because she doesn’t understand how someone as awesome as you could be interested in her. So, you can wait for her to believe you and figure it out, or you could take a chance and tell her you love her.”

“And why would someone like her be interested in me?”

“Agh!” Diana screaed into the night. “I’m going to go insane dealing with you two. You are both amazing people, crazy smart and hot as hell. If you don’t end up together, I will consider my entire college experience a waste. I really thing you guys belong together. Her lack of self-confidence and your lack of confidence regarding knowing how to proceed into this relationship will someday just be humorous anecdotes when you tell your grandchildren how you fell in love and wasted so much fucking time worrying about absolutely nothing.”

“It doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like I set out to climb Everest and all I brought was a water bottle.”

“Your perception is skewed, Gilbert. You’re climbing Everest, but you’ve already arrived at the last basecamp. You have no idea how close you were to having everything you want.”

“Were?”

“Yeah. You have some damage control to deal with for sure. You just need to decide: are you going to fight or are you going to let the last thing you said to her be that you could no longer recognize her? Hint: there’s a right answer here, and it isn’t the easy one. You are going to work for this girl, Gil.”

“It’ll be worth it.”

“Hell yeah it will.”

***

Anne walked back to her room silently with Josie by her side. She was able to control herself well enough until she got to her room. Josie ushered her in and locked the door behind them as Anne leaned back against a wall and collapsed down to the ground in a ball, sobbing at what she had lost.

Josie sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug.

“I know it won’t help now, but it **will** be okay. You’ll figure it out, and he will figure it out and you two will go riding off into the sunset and kiss happily ever after.”

“That’s not the saying. And how can you even think that?” Anne said through her sobs. “God, Josie, he hates me. And I don’t even know if I’ll be able to ever face him again.”

“He doesn’t hate you. Only those we love the most can hurt us that badly. And tonight, you were both fighting to kill.”

“He doesn’t love me, Josie. He never will.”

“I think he loves you much more than either of you realize.”

Anne was mad. She was mad at Gilbert for yelling at her. She was mad at Gilbert for presuming to know what she needed. And she was mad at Gilbert for not loving her the way she wanted him too. But most of all she was mad at Gilbert for being right. She didn’t change for herself. She changed for him. Or for some unknown guy who might have her. She did feel good about herself at the party, but she didn’t feel good about the looks she got from some of the guys there and now, sitting on the ground in front of her full length mirror, she couldn’t help but think, _I don’t recognize her either._

***

Talking to Diana had helped a bit, but Gilbert was mad. He was mad at Anne for thinking she needed to change. He was mad at himself for yelling at someone he professed to love, for not knowing how to tell someone that he loved them and that he lacked the courage to go after what he wanted most.

But most of all, he was mad at Anne for being right. He had no right whatsoever to refer to her as his. And she could do whatever she wanted with her body and wear whatever clothes made her feel comfortable. That was something he had always admired about her, that she seemed to be so comfortable and so entirely herself. The trouble this time was that she wasn’t dressing for herself, she was dressing for others. He knew it was true and he knew that his opinion regarding the matter was worthless. She didn’t care what he thought. _Why should she?_

***

Jerry had listened to Diana and texted Cole about the situation. When Gilbert arrived home, Cole looked up from the couch and asked, “You two kiss and make-up?”

Gilbert didn’t answer, walked to his room and slammed the door behind him.

“I guess that would be a no then,” he said to himself. He got up, poured Gilbert some whiskey and grabbed a Coke for himself. He needed the caffeine; this was likely going to be a long night.

***

The next morning, Gilbert was waiting outside the dorm at eight.

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_Can you come let me in so I can apologize.  
She isn’t answering._

_Gilbert  
She isn’t here.  
Most her stuff was packed up last night in  
Matthew’s truck. They left at dawn.  
Wait there, I’ll be right down._

Diana met Gilbert downstairs. He clearly didn’t sleep, or at least hadn’t slept well. His eyes were red and puffy and there were dark circles under them. Seeing him standing there holding two coffees was one of the most pathetic things she had ever witnessed. She took the coffee from him that he brought for Anne, took his hand in hers and led her despondent friend through the chaos of everyone getting ready to move out of the dorm. When they were in her room, she put both coffees down on Anne’s empty desk, laid her suitcase on the ground in front of Gilbert and then stood on it to bring her up to a more equal height and hugged him as tightly as she could.

“Gil, it’s going to be fine. I promise.”

“I don’t see how it can. I hurt her.”

“Yes, you did, so you will have to apologize.”

“I don’t deserve her forgiveness.”

“No, you don’t. But it’s Anne. So we know that she will give it. Eventually.”

***

Gilbert called Anne three times that day and was ignored each time so he sent a text, not trusting himself to leave a coherent voicemail.

**FW - Mobile**

_I’m not going to keep calling you.  
I will not try to justify what I said.  
I hurt you and nothing else matters.  
Right now NOTHING else matters.  
I hope you are able to forgive me someday.  
Until then, I will still be here for you.  
I’m not going anywhere.  
You deserve so much better than me.  
I’ve always known that.  
You have no idea how much I know that.  
I’m supposed to be your friend.  
And I failed so much and in so many ways.  
For everything I said,  
For every hurt I’ve caused you:  
I’m sorry.  
If you ever forgive me, please give me  
the chance to be better. I’ll  
promise to show you nothing but love  
and respect from now on even though you  
deserve so much more Anne,  
I’ll wait for your forgiveness forever.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a long time, especially considering that it’s about half the length of most the other chapters. I got distracted by happier/easier to write parts of the story.
> 
> I hope no one is too mad at anyone in this. I tried to give both Anne and Gilbert good points and make them both take some cheap shots. The goal was to make them equally mean, if that makes sense. Again, I'm not sure that it worked. I just can't look at this chapter anymore.
> 
> It was so hard to talk about weight in kg. So unnatural to me. I hope it worked.
> 
> In my university we had a track that circled around various weight rooms so the layout of this gym makes sense to me. Just roll with it if it doesn’t sound right to you.
> 
> Let me know if you caught the confession in the text. I tried to make it obvious, but it depends on formatting so if it doesn't fit right on your device, you might not see it. 
> 
> Yes, I will be covering the acoustic night. That's the chapter I kept thinking about that distracted me from this one.


	10. Dear Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne sorts through her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied again and we aren't going to Green Gables yet. But at least that means you get an extra chapter! Just a small interlude where we see some of Anne’s thoughts.
> 
> (And yes, it changed from 15 to 17 chapters. I added in another toward the end and hadn't updated it yet.)
> 
> I know it's short, but it's necessary.

_~~Dear Diary~~ , Dear whatever the fuck doesn’t make me feel like I’m a 13-year-old in a bad movie,_

_This is **STUPID!!!** I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. But here we go._

_Matthew found me crying in the barn a few days ago. That was embarrassing. Really embarrassing. I couldn’t even admit to him that I was crying over a boy. I mean are you fucking kidding me? Who am I? Matthew offered to be someone to confide in, and while I trust him as much as I can trust another person, that would have entered dangerously high levels of awkwardness, though maybe I could use the comedic relief. He said I clearly needed to talk to someone. And he was right, but who? He said I’ve always had a way with words and suggested trying to write my thoughts down. So here I am. I expect this will not be my most eloquent, orderly or concise piece to date, but maybe it will help me figure some things out. Or at least process whatever the fuck happened last Friday._

_Here’s the thing. Gilbert and I got into a fight. A bad one. And yeah, we fight a lot, I know. But not like this. This was bad. He hurt me, and I’m pretty sure I hurt him. I don’t think I said anything untrue, but I think I called him a puppet master? I don’t even know, honestly. But now, I’ve had a week to stew and I’m feeling better about it. Don’t get me wrong, I think we have some shit to work out, but I think I understand why he said what he said. His delivery could use some work. But yeah. You know. Pot/Kettle. Even when what you are hearing is true it hurts when it’s yelled at you and used against you. Like, I’ll talk shit about myself all day long, but how dare you say anything bad about me._

_Gil got weird as soon as he saw that I dyed my hair, which I still don’t get. It’s possible he really wasn’t feeling well. He looked terrible. Well, as terrible as he can look, so he was like a gaunt 9½. Yeah, I just rated him. Suck it. You’re a fucking book, who are you going to tell? God he’s so hot, I can’t even…_

_Sorry, I just needed a minute. Anyway, he wasn’t acting like himself, but it WAS finals week, and we were pretty much all on the edge of sanity. Maybe if we hadn’t been so stressed none of this would've even happened._

_Oh my god- Diana said that she grew up with someone who was obsessed with red hair and that he was in love with Ariel. Was she talking about Gilbert?!?!?! I haven’t heard her mention growing up with anyone else. Mother fucker I bet it was him! Fuck! I remember her asking him, “Did you just pick a redhead and hope for the best?” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? How did I not put that together? He’s told me I’m pretty and whatever, but I guess he really does like my hair. Still weird that he was that put off by it changing though. It’s just hair, it’s not like I suddenly showed up a completely different person._

_Well, you couldn’t see what just happened, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a bruise on my forehead for how hard I just let my head fall on my desk. I’m supposed to be smart, right? God, I’m slow sometimes. I did show up as a completely different person._

_It’s almost entirely back to red now, by the way. Two weeks of rich, luxurious color my ass._

_Gil was weird at the party that night too. Di and I could tell he was off when he was performing and he didn’t hang out with me right away afterward, which is unusual. Then shit hit the fan. There was shit everywhere. It was like a porta potty was thrown into a jet turbine and there was just a layer of shit mist EVERYWHERE._

_I was thinking after it all happened that I was most upset that what he said was right. Sure he was a dick about it, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t said before._

_Was I dressed a bit skanky? Yes._

_Was I confident? Yes._

_Was I pretending to be someone I’m not? Yes._

_I’m getting there- to a point where I am confident being myself- I’m just not quite there yet. I’ll admit that I didn’t enjoy EVERYONE looking at me but watching Gilbert check me out… well, it was satisfying. He did that thing where he licks his lip, like really slowly. You don’t know what I’m talking about. But I do and uhh. I can’t even count the times I’ve wanted to simultaneously punch him and fuck him anymore. I might have a problem. He was yelling at me and there was still part of me that just wanted him so badly. Anne the Masochist. Fuck yeah. I love that. Kidding though, I don’t think that it’s masochism. I think that just through it all, it was Gilbert. And I love him. This was by far our worst night spent together, and still... I’m so into him. Just completely gone. I might be addicted to Gilbert Blythe._

_I need to accept his apology. But I don’t know how._

_I know I hurt him. I do. And I know I need to apologize. But I don’t know how. And he already has. How did he apologize so quickly when I was so awful? I said we were done! I hope he didn’t think I meant it. I just had to leave. I needed to get away so I could think. The confusion was blinding and I couldn’t breathe or think and I was so mad and so hurt and so ashamed._

_I was confused. But I’m not anymore. We’ll get through it somehow. And we’ll be better. What’s that cheesy line? If it’s not okay then it’s not the end? Well, I think that’s crap, but I’m going to apply it here._

_I think what surprised me most was finding out that when I speak poorly about myself it hurts him. I didn’t know that was a thing. But then I think if the roles were reversed and I was sitting next to him while he said he was unattractive or common, I can start to understand. He really does seem to think that I’m something rather spectacular. Which really does feel quite good, honestly. He insinuated that he really thinks there’s nothing wrong with me. Reactions: ‘Awwww’ and ‘Oh you poor, stupid, stupid boy.’ But I think there’s nothing wrong with him (besides shitty Friday). He comes off as so confident and put together. Diana says I do too. I wonder what is really going on in his head. I should check in with him about that._

_It hurt me when he said I obviously don’t care what he thinks. Could he really believe that? I value him and his opinions so much. I hope he was overreacting. When we get back to normal I need to show him how much I appreciate him._

_It’s been, wow, 8 days since the fight. We haven’t spoken and there is a Gilbert shaped hole in my life and my heart. And I’m not going to lie to you, little book, I tried drinking my feelings away, I tried eating my feelings, I even walked downtown past that club that always smells like pot hoping to get a contact high (shocker- it didn’t work) and nothing has helped. I NEED TO APOLOGIZE. Ugh. Why can’t I just say it? All I have to do is text him! He said he’d wait for forever for an apology, but he shouldn’t have to! I should have apologized as soon as I felt sorry. Now every day I put it off I feel like I need to do more to compensate for the amount of time that has passed._

_Speaking of his apology- there was something curious about his text. The spacing was strange at the end and appeared to say, ‘I’ll love you Anne, forever.’ I didn’t see it at first and I still don’t know that it was intentional. But there were double spaces separating all the words from the rest of the sentences (yes, I checked). I’m trying not to read into it. He knows how amazing I think he is, and how amazing everyone thinks he is so if he were interested in me the way I want him to be I’m pretty sure he would just say something. I mean, why wouldn’t he? It’s probably just a friend thing and here’s my reasoning: I think it can be weird to casually tell a guy friend that you love them. I tell Diana I love her all the time, but I don’t tell any of the guys, even though I do love them all and value them all so much, because it’s weird, right? This way he could tell me he loved me without it being like, a thing. You know?_

_So yeah. We are not done. Maybe we will never be a ‘we’ but if I give up then I only have myself to blame because even with everything I’ve done. And all my quirks and nuances that some people say are off-putting, he says he appreciates me for them. And HE’S STILL HERE. Not physically, I know, but awaiting my acceptance of his apology. Respecting me and giving me the space he knows I need. ~~He’s a freaking dreamboat.~~ Shut up. I didn’t write that. You did. He has never backed away from our friendship or anything I have done and this might be wishful thinking, but I swear he hugs me for longer than he does Diana. _

_So I was thinking maybe I could be a little more bold with physical contact? I don’t know. He isn’t repulsed by me. And I don’t know. It’s just an idea._

_When he called me his. I almost died. From fury and elation. Oh my god I want to be his so badly. And also how dare he think he has possession of me. I’m really torn here. Me as Lizzie Bennet: I’m forever yours Mr. Darcy. Me as an independent woman who has relied on herself her entire life: Back the fuck off. I did not work this hard for someone else to swoop in and take possession of me and my accomplishments. Is it so bad to want it both ways?_

_I don’t know how, but I’m not going to just assume there will never be an us. I’m going to dare to dream that there can be an us. I don’t know how to make this happen. But everything starts as an idea. So that’s where I will start._

_I need to come up with some kind of plan. It probably just needs to start with me convincing myself that I could be good enough for him. Start with an apology. Start with accepting his apology. Acknowledge that we said some shitty things and made some mistakes and go from there. Maybe it won’t be what it was. But I need to try and if he isn’t willing to try… no, he is. I know he is. I’ll start with a text and we can work our way up to a phone call. Maybe I can even go see_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending isn’t a mistake- I ended it that way intentionally. 
> 
> This was fun to write because it didn’t need to be in a logical order and could be super scattered. Ahhh, so freeing. This also means I could get it done quickly. Hope you liked seeing inside Anne's mind a bit!


	11. I Know What You Did That Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash relays the story of Gilbert's visit to Green Gables after his fight with Anne. (Between their sophomore and junior years of college/Summer of 2018.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, I hope that's okay. Wow, I just looked it up and this chapter is as long as all of SJLT. Oops. 
> 
> I'm so sorry this took so long to get done. I would love to live in a world where I got paid to write, but unfortunately that’s not the case and sometimes I need to do my actual job. Let me know if you see any glaring errors. I'm so sick of this chapter and I need to move on.
> 
> This is kind of like the formatting of the previous chapter that took place over the summer, only this will provide you with a story from each day of Gilbert’s visit to Green Gables instead of a story every week, like the last summer.

It had been eight days since Gilbert had fought with Anne.

It had been seven days since he apologized.

He got back home six days ago.

Five days ago he started drinking pretty heavily.

Four days ago he started writing a letter to Anne.

Three days ago he started wondering if he could be happy just working on the orchard his whole life.

Two days ago, Sebastian moved all the alcohol to the Lynde’s house and yelled at Gilbert for not handling whatever he was going through like an adult. Gilbert argued he **was** handling it like an adult, just not a very smart one.

Yesterday, with sober eyes, he read the letter and tore it up, ashamed and embarrassed that he nearly confessed his love in the form of drunken ramblings.

And now today, Gilbert was sitting down in front of a disappointed Sebastian who was eagerly awaiting an explanation from him, his brother, who seemed nothing more than a shadow of what he used to be.

“So… I can’t help but notice you seem just a bit off,” he began. “And I don’t mean to make comparisons, but I met you a month after your dad died and that guy is a riot compared to whoever the fuck this guy is.”

“That guy could see a glimmer of hope and this guy can’t,” Gilbert explained, his voice low and hoarse.

“Well, then you’re not looking hard enough. Talk to me, Gilbert. Tell me what happened. I’m going to make a wild guess and assume this is about Anne.”

At the mention of her name, his eyes welled up. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, refusing to shed any more tears over the situation.

“Were you dating? Did she break up with you?”

“No,” he whispered, “And yes.”

“Well, you’ve mentioned she’s talented, but that’s truly impressive. Please. Tell me what’s going on so I can try to help you. You are so used to being alone and shouldering all this crap, but you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m here for you, but I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”

“I don’t need you to take on my problems. They’re not your responsibility,” he said quietly.

“I **want** to take on your problems, Blythe. Seeing you this way, it hurts me too, you know. Like it or not, I’m your family. You can treat me as such, or you can keep it to yourself and continue to make terrible decisions. Come on, let’s go for a walk. You need some fresh air. No. Leave your phone. Grab a water bottle, we are going to be gone a while.”

Sebastian got Delphine set up in her stroller and they walked silently and at a brisk pace. After about a half hour, Sebastian said, “Okay, spill.”

Gilbert slowly recounted the fight he had with Anne, trying to present the situation as fairly as possible.

“Well, you fucked up.”

“Yeah. Huge.”

“And so did she.”

“I disagree.”

“You’re wrong. She was willing to throw away a friendship based on a ten-minute fight. That was a mistake. Especially knowing how close you are. People are imperfect. They make mistakes and they need to be allowed to apologize for them. Not everything can be forgotten, but you do a huge disservice to yourself if you can’t forgive those who have wronged you and have asked for forgiveness.”

Gilbert considered what he said for a minute and found that he agreed with him and said, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“And you apologized? By text?”

“I promise, that wasn’t my first choice. I went over to her place, but she had already left to go back to New London. I called three times and was ignored. Then I texted a big thing and said that’d I’d wait for her forgiveness for as long as it takes and that I will be here for her, as I always promised I would be.”

“And nothing?”

“Nothing. For eight days. But who’s counting?”

“That’s rough.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Here’s what you do,” Sebastian said. “We are going to walk back to the house. I will be confiscating your phone for the night. You are going to take a shower and drink a gallon of water. You smell terrible. Like whiskey and locker room. Then we are going to make dinner. Together. With actual ingredients. And you’re even going to eat some plants. No, Gilbert, the family size bag of veggie straws you ate yesterday does not count as plants.”

“But they taste so good,” he said, and he almost smiled.

“So do things like peppers, broccoli, onions, potatoes and carrots.”

“And then what am I supposed to do?”

“Read a book. Get out of your head for a while. Then get some sleep. Real sleep. Tomorrow we will wake up early and go for a run.”

“And then?”

“And then continue living, day by day, because you can’t quit when things get hard, no matter how much you may want to.”

“I’m such an ass. This is nothing compared to what you went through. I’m so sorry, Bash,” he apologized as his eyes again filled with tears.

Sebastian pulled him in for a tight hug and said, “No, Gilbert, no. Don’t do that. It’s different, obviously, but the pain you are feeling for this woman who you clearly love so deeply is no less important than the love I had for Mary. The fact that others might be considered worse off does not invalidate your pain. It’s significant and severe for you and you need to accept it and process it, in your own time. You know this; you’ve done it before. But you can’t do it by drinking and losing control of yourself. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Gilbert said. Sebastian released him and they started walking again.

“Chances are that she just needs time. You said she was stubborn and she doesn’t have a lot of experience with having good friends. If that’s the case, she might not have ever fought with a friend before. And I’ll admit, this was no minor fight, so it’s got to be a lot for her to deal with. It’s only been a week. You’ve said your part, now just be patient.”

“I’m trying.”

“Good. Now, tell me more about Anne.”

“You really want to hear me talk about Anne?”

“Yeah. It’ll remind you what you’re fighting for. You’re focusing on the pain and not enough on the 99% of your friendship that only brought you joy.”

“Well what do you want to know? I’ve already told you a lot about her.”

“Tell me…” Sebastian said and then he thought for a moment, “Well, you’ve mentioned there are moments here and there that are a bit awkward, and I’m sure I’ll find them amusing, so let’s start there. Tell me about your most awkward or embarrassing moment with Anne.”

Gilbert laughed and began, “Well, you know Cole? My roommate? Well, he’s an artist and Anne modeled for him last fall…”

** ***Reconciliation, Day 1*****

**FW – Mobile**

_1:12 AM  
I’m sorry. Truly sorry.  
And I’m sorry I haven’t said anything.  
And I’m sorry this seems like some half-assed  
apology. And maybe it is. I don’t know.  
We can get back to the apology later.  
I promise. And we’ll figure out how to move  
forward. If you want to, that is.  
But you said you would be there for me and  
I need you now, even if you can’t yet forgive me.  
Please.  
If you’re awake, please say something._

_1:45 AM  
It’s Matthew.  
He had a heart attack.  
He’s in the hospital.  
Marilla and I are here too.  
I need you.  
I hate that I didn’t apologize to you sooner.  
And not because I need you now, but because  
I never should have walked away from you.  
I never should have said what I said.  
I was just hurt and I needed to get away.  
But we aren’t done, Gilbert. Not even close.  
I can’t believe I said that.  
I’m so sorry.  
  
2:56 AM  
Just saw Mathew.  
Very weak. Very pale.  
I’m terrified.  
His skin looks gray and chalky.  
Doctors say he needs a stent.  
Marilla is acting as stoic as ever, but I can  
tell she is scared.  
I’m trying to be strong for her, but I don’t  
know what I’m doing.  
I don’t know how to be supportive like this.  
How do I do this?  
What do I say?  
Praying for a miracle.  
And courage. I need courage.  
And coffee. I need coffee._

_3:32 AM  
Going into surgery._

_4:56 AM  
Out of surgery. He’s doing well.  
We’re going to head home to rest for a bit.  
Doctors are going to keep him sedated for  
a while because of his age. But they said  
everything went perfect. They are very  
optimistic._

_5:15 AM  
Sorry to put this burden on you._

_5:21 AM  
OMG I’m the worst.  
I’m so sorry.  
I hope this doesn’t bring back anything with  
your dad.  
I didn’t mean for that at all.  
I’m so sorry.  
I tried to delete all this but apparently I can’t.  
This is the worst day ever.  
I’m so, so, so sorry.  
Please, if you read this message first, just  
ignore everything else that I said and I’ll  
apologize later. Please._

***

Sebastian got them all up at six and they went for jog, Delphine giggling in the stroller, Sebastian looking like a seasoned athlete and Gilbert feeling the effects of every piece of crap he had put into his body over the preceding week. When they returned to the house, Gilbert went out to the cliff and cooled off in the breeze from the ocean, feeling better than he had in days. It was a low bar to clear, and he by no means felt good, but technically it was an improvement.

He walked back to the house, took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waist, shaved and headed back to his room where he saw his phone blinking on his bed, apparently left there by Sebastian. He picked it up and read through Anne’s messages.

“Dude! I need your car!” he yelled as he ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

“I told you my car was at the shop this weekend. Where’s your car?”

“I loaned it to Charlie and he won’t be back until tonight!”

“Why do you need a car?”

“Anne needs me.”

“Really? She contacted you?”

“Yeah, Matthew is in the hospital.”

“And your presence will make him better?”

“I just need to get to her, please Bash,” he begged.

“What you need to do is get dressed. You’re blinding me.”

“Shut up, I’m white. Get over it. Who has a car I can borrow?”

“It’s 7:30 on a Sunday. Unless you want to run a marathon this morning, I don’t see a way for you to get to her. Or I guess you could bike.”

“That could work,” he said. He carefully considered the option, then turned to leave.

“I was joking!” Sebastian called after him as Gilbert left the room.

“I wasn’t!” he yelled back.

***

It wasn’t quite a marathon. New London was twenty miles away. The jog that morning hadn’t been the best but it was worlds better than the bike ride was proving to be. Gilbert hadn’t biked in a very, very long time. Ten miles in and he was not only questioning his physical ability to complete the task, but also his sanity.

_Fuck. I’m the guy I used to make fun of in movies. Doing some stupid grand gesture. I’m going to look like such an idiot. She didn’t say she wanted me to come. I could’ve just responded. That’s probably all she was looking for. Instead, I’m biking twenty miles to my best friend’s house that I’ve never even been to, assuming that she’s ready to see me after the biggest fight we’ve ever had. Hell, I’m assuming that she’s still my best friend. What if she’s not ready to see me? Then what? I just turn around and leave? No. I’ll just lay down and die because my legs will definitely not be able to do this again._

Even though he felt crazy, he couldn’t stop himself. He rode and rode, through the cramps and his exhaustion and then stopped suddenly, about a mile outside of New London.

_My best friend’s house… that I’ve never even been to._

He yelled out in frustration. He had no idea where he was going. He got out his phone, remembering that she lived at a bed and breakfast. There were three that populated from the search and he immediately recognized the name Green Gables and the address that Diana had sent him so he could send her that sympathy card last summer. He was close; only two miles to the house. He continued on his way, thankful that he was mostly able to glide down the hill toward the hamlet on the bay. He found the road Green Gables was on and stopped. Sunset Crest Drive had a slope warning sign: 10%.

“Mother fucker,” he whispered. He checked out the road. No way in hell did he have it in him to ride a bike up that. His legs were already shaking so badly that he wasn’t sure he would even be able to walk it. He chained his bike to a tree and began the trek up the hill, trying not to wince with every step. He did not think this through. At all.

When he arrived at the top of the hill, he could see through the window that there were a few people enjoying brunch while others were heading out of the house with their suitcases, presumably on their way home after their weekend away. He didn’t want to intrude on the business, so he sent her a text.

**FW – Mobile**

_I’m here._

_You’re where?_

_Outside by the barn.  
Please tell me I’m at the right house._

Thirty seconds later he saw her running toward him from across the yard and he caught her in his arms as she started crying again, though this time it was from relief and exhaustion more than fear and sadness. Neither of them said a thing, not yet ready to get into what needed discussing.

After a few minutes, Anne calmed down a bit and said quietly, “You are so sweaty. It’s really, really gross.”

“Sorry, I know. I wasn’t really thinking things through. I was just so happy to hear from you and Charlie had my car so I biked here.”

She leaned back and looked at him, shocked and yelled, “You biked here?!”

“Yeah,” he said and he coughed. “Can I get some water, and maybe sit down for a minute? I’m really not feeling great.”

“You’re an idiot. Come here,” she said as she took his hand and led him to the back of the house. She didn’t even think about it, her hand just naturally fell into his. “Wait here,” she said as she showed him to the outdoor sofa on the back porch. “There are still some guests inside. I’ll be right back.”

For his part, Gilbert wasn’t at all sure that she had actually just held his hand, it definitely could have been a hallucination.

She was back in a few minutes with water and an omelet.

“That’s not necessary, I really only need water,” he said.

“You biked 20 miles and I assume you ran this morning as well? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You need to eat.”

“Fine.”

She sat down next to him and it didn’t take him long to inhale the food and two additional glasses of water.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Yeah. I need to apologize, properly, to your face, but I know you’re going through a lot right now and I don’t want to make this about me. So, can you just let me know when I can apologize?”

She laughed softly through her tears that had again started falling and nodded. “Yes. I’ll let you know. Thank you.”

“Is he doing okay?”

“He’s fine I guess,” she said, wiping her cheeks dry. “He’ll be home later today.”

“How can I help? Is there anything you need to do that I can take care of? Does Marilla need help with anything?”

“Oh my god Marilla will want to see you. I… she… I can’t even think. I haven’t slept. I just..” she stuttered.

“Anne. Stop talking,” he said and he put his arm around her and guided her down to use his lap as a pillow. He started lightly massaging her scalp and she was asleep almost instantly.

***

“Anne?” he heard Marilla call as she poked her head out the back door.

“She’s sleeping, Miss Cuthbert,” he said awkwardly.

Marilla gasped as her hand flew to her chest in astonishment, “Gilbert Blythe, as I live and breathe.”

“Hey Mari,” he smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

“I apologize for my reaction, but you are the spitting image of your father, hopefully that’s not strange to hear. I apologize if it is.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I don’t mind. And you look just as I remember. I don’t think you’ve aged a day.”

“I see John gave you his manners and charm as well.”

Gilbert smiled in response.

“And there’s the Blythe smirk. What happened to you? You look-”

“Gross. I know. We didn’t have access to a car today so I biked here.”

“From Avonlea?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That must have taken-”

“From the orchard to here, it was about two hours.”

“Ah,” she said and smiled knowingly. “Tell me, do you often ride your bike twenty miles to comfort your friends?”

“Please don’t make fun of me,” he pleaded in a whisper.

“Oh, Gilbert, you know I would never,” she laughed. “I’m quite happy to see you, young man. I’ve missed you terribly.”

“I’ve missed you too. And I’m sorry, I really don’t mean to intrude and show up so unexpectedly. I know this isn’t a good time, but she said she needed me and I’m not sure what she’s told you, but-”

“Gilbert, I’ve been trying to get her to invite you here for over a year now. You are most welcome at any time.”

“Well, I’d like to help you with whatever I can, so please, put me to work. What would Matthew be doing right now?”

“He’d be taking a nap. So sit right there and comfort our girl,” Marilla said as she handed him a pillow from another chair. “The guests have gone for the day and we are only expecting two couples tomorrow. Plenty of time to get things sorted out.”

Marilla left them in peace and Gilbert soon fell asleep as well, leaning up against the end of the sofa, with his arm resting across Anne’s waist.

***

Anne woke a couple hours later and found comfort in the way Gilbert’s arm felt around her, like he was protecting her. A year ago, she would have been embarrassed for falling asleep on him like that, but he certainly didn’t seem to mind and it had been incredibly comfortable. It was a little fuzzy in her memory, but she thought he even encouraged her to use him. She sat up and he moved his arm and put it up under his head and she took a moment to look at him. He looked so young and unburdened when he was sleeping and there was no other word for it, she found him beautiful. She forced herself to walk away before she lost control and started running her fingers through his hair. She finished the dishes Marilla had left soaking, which took slightly longer than usual because she could see Gilbert sleeping through the window over the sink and even in sleep she found him incredibly distracting, and then wiped down the countertops.

“Anne?” Marilla called out as she entered the room.

She jumped a bit, startled by the intrusion, and quickly said, “Hi Marilla, is it time to go get Matthew?”

“No dear, not until after supper,” she said softly, laughing at Anne’s reaction to being caught staring at her ‘friend.’ “Tell me why Gilbert is here.”

“Well, I didn’t know how to deal with all this. I needed a friend. We haven’t exactly been on speaking terms lately, but he still came. Isn’t that amazing? As soon as I said I needed him, he appeared. Sweaty and exhausted, but he’s here, Marilla.”

“I’m aware and I would expect nothing less. His father was big on grand gestures as well.”

Anne looked at her, confused.

“Grand gestures of love, Anne. Pay attention.”

“He’s just a friend, Marilla,” she said, dismissing the thought.

“If he is just a friend, then I am Emma Thompson and you are meek and subservient,” Marilla chided and Anne laughed. “You know, I was at the market the other day and heard a phrase that I think is applicable here.”

“And that would be?”

“Get your head out of your ass.”

“Marilla!” Anne shouted in surprise.

“Anne!”

“Ladies?” Gilbert said as he entered the room stiffly.

“What’s wrong with you?” Anne asked.

“I haven’t biked in a very long time. It may have been a bad choice.”

“Regretting your decision?” Marilla asked.

“Not even a little,” he said. “May I use your bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the right,” Marilla instructed. As soon as he left she said, “I told you so.”

“He’s just, no, Marilla, we’re both just glad to be speaking to each other again. That’s why he doesn’t regret coming.”

Anne finished rounding up the dirty towels to put in the laundry, pointedly ignoring Marilla staring at her.

Eventually, Anne said, “Um, we have some stuff to work out. May he stay through dinner so we can talk?”

“I have a better idea. Gilbert?” she asked as he returned to the room.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“You offered to help earlier, does that stand?”

“Yes, what do you need?”

“Matthew will be coming home tonight and he is not supposed to return to work for a while for obvious reasons. I was wondering if you might be able to stay and help us with the business.”

“Yeah, that would be fine with me, how long would you need me for?”

“Three weeks.”

Both Anne and Gilbert’s eyes popped out of their heads in surprise.

“It won’t be difficult,” Marilla continued nonchalantly. “We hire out a lot of things anyway, but if you’re here then he won’t feel the need to get back to it too quickly.”

Gilbert hesitated and then uncertainly said, “I guess that makes sense. Are you sure though? Isn’t it a bit rude of me to just randomly show up and stay for three weeks?”

“Nonsense, I’ve missed you, Gilbert! Every time you start thinking you’re a burden, just remember this was my idea and you would be helping out tremendously.”

“Do you mind, Anne?” he asked hesitantly, not wanting to invade her space.

“No, I don’t mind, but don’t feel obligated, we know you have your own life to get back to.”

“Would it make your lives easier if I stayed?” he asked her directly.

“Of course it would,” she answered honestly, just above a whisper.

“Then how could I leave?”

Marilla let the intense eye contact linger between them just long enough for it to be awkward and then said, “It’s settled then. Anne, can you go make sure the other attic room is prepared?”

“Yes, Marilla,” Anne said and she left the room.

“Anne, don’t do anything! I’ll get it ready, please don’t-” but she was gone. “Marilla, please, I don’t want anyone to do any extra work for me.”

“Gilbert, have you ever been able to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do?”

“No.”

“Neither have I. So let her prepare the room for you. Why don’t you see if you can arrange for someone to bring you some clothes, if not, we can head over there first thing in the morning.”

Gilbert couldn’t help himself and walked up to Marilla and hugged her. He didn’t realize how much he had missed her but was fully aware of what he missed out on because his father had ended their relationship.

“I missed you Marilla.”

“Oh, you Blythe boys. Always with the hugs. Not that I’m complaining,” she said as she embraced him. “I’ve missed you too, dear boy. Or, young man. Sorry. You think I’d be able to remember that as you stand here towering over me.”

“I’m not that tall, certainly not towering,” he said as he backed away from her. “I’ll go see if I can get someone to bring me some stuff.”

Gilbert stepped outside to make the calls, but the windows were open so Marilla could overhear his part of the conversation. First, he called someone named Bash and asked him to pack a bag. She wasn’t sure who Bash was or why he could pack a bag for him, but she was certain all would be revealed during his stay. The next call was more enlightening.

“Bash is packing my bag; all I need you to do is deliver it to me... Green Gables in New London… Yes, I’m staying with Anne and the Cuthberts and I told Bash you would be available if he needs help on the orchard… Yeah, you’ll be paid, you know that... No Charlie, I need the bag tonight and Bash won’t have a car until tomorrow. Also, you have **my** car, so shut up and stop complaining… No! Do not send Bash over here… God no, I’m not embarrassed of him, are you dumb? I’m afraid he’ll embarrass me!... Yeah, maybe it would speed things, up, but no, just let us work through it… Let us talk and just try to be friends again, and then we’ll see what happens… Or if anything could ever possibly happen… Yeah, thanks man. See you later.”

Marilla smiled as she stood by the sink with her back to the window. It was wonderful to be proven right, especially when the same information proved Anne so wrong.

“Anne! Gilbert!” Marilla called out and they both appeared quickly. “I’m going to go pick up Matthew. Please remove the linens from all rooms and get them started in the laundry.”

Anne gave him a tour as they walked around the house cleaning up each room. Besides brief explanations and directions, there was no conversation between the pair and the weight of what wasn’t said filled each room with tension. Beyond that, Anne couldn’t believe he was here and Gilbert couldn’t believe Anne was allowing him to be here. After starting the first load of laundry, Anne showed him to the attic and to the room where he would be staying.

“Anne,” he began quietly, “Are you sure it’s okay that I-”

“Yes,” she interrupted him. “Yes, Gilbert, I’m glad you’re here and I want you to stay. I’m not sure that you can handle me for three weeks straight, but it’s very okay that you are here.”

“Very okay?” he asked with a suppressed laugh.

“Very okay,” she said with a smile. “Thank you for coming. I didn’t expect that.”

“I thought I told you to get used to that.”

“Used to what?”

“Me doing the unexpected.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

He took a deep breath and said, “Anne, I-”

“I’m sorry Gilbert!” she interrupted him, not able to contain it another moment. “Really, I’m so sorry. For everything. And for interrupting you. I know you said you shouldn’t have yelled at me, and I agree. Of course I agree. But I also know that you said what you said because you care and because you truly can’t understand why I think the way I do about myself. And I can’t tell you how mad I am for telling you that we were done. I can’t believe I let you think that I would quit this friendship that easily after you have proven so often that you are always there for me. Please,” she said as she started crying, “Tell me you didn’t believe me.”

He rushed over to her, hugged her and said quietly said, “Anne, I believe everything you tell me. I didn’t want to believe that, but I did.”

She sobbed into his chest at the admission.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“You are completely forgiven.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why is it so easy for you to forgive me?”

 _Because I love you,_ he thought.

She continued, “I was terrible! You are quite possibly my favorite person in this world and I treated you like garbage! And accused you of terrible things! Did I call you a puppet master?”

“You did.”

“What the actual fuck?”

He stepped back from her and said, “Anne! You weren’t wrong! That’s how I can forgive you. I **am** too controlling sometimes and I have no business whatsoever telling you how to dress or how to feel. Just because I don’t understand you sometimes doesn’t mean that you’re wrong! It’s just… it’s just so frustrating when we are so similar in so many ways yet I still can’t understand why you do some of the things that you do or feel the way you do. And I need to accept that what you do might not always make sense to me, but it doesn’t need to and that doesn’t mean I can’t support you. The only thing that really hurt, the only thing that continues to hurt is that… do you really not care at all about what I think? I’m not saying I want my opinions to affect your decisions, but don’t you care? At all?"

“I honestly care much more about what you think than I would ever admit. Gil, you have been here for me, relentlessly, and I will prove to you that it was worth the effort. I promise.”

“You have nothing to prove. You are inherently worth it.”

“That’s ridiculous. How could I possibly be?”

“Because you’re you. And that’s all I need you to be.”

“You need me?”

“Absolutely I do. Can I apologize to you now?”

She nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. I meant what I said. What I said hurt you and nothing else matters.”

“But you were right.”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is.”

“But-”

“It doesn’t matter!”

“Stop contradicting me!”

“Anne!” he yelled back at her, “Did I hurt you?”

“Yes.”

“Then nothing else matters. I fucked up Anne. So much. And I’m so sorry. To my core, I am sorry. I can be better, Anne. If you give me another chance, I promise to be better.”

“You don’t need to be better; you are the most incredible person I know. You just need to be you.”

***Day 2***

The next morning Gilbert woke and smiled when he remembered where he was. He moved to get out of bed quickly, eager to see Anne, but was thwarted by his sore muscles and groaned in pain.

“Gilbert?” Anne called from outside the room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” he called out in obvious pain.

“Liar. When you’re ready, come downstairs, Matthew wants to see you.”

_I’m single, I was asked to stay here, Anne’s guardian is Marilla, not Matthew and somehow, I still feel like I’m already in trouble with my girlfriend’s father. Good start._

“I’ll be down in a minute,” he called out.

Anne laughed when he entered the kitchen five minutes later.

“Should I be offended?” he asked her.

“Probably not. It’s just, I’ve never actually seen your hair legitimately messy before. It’s a little out of control,” she said, trying to make her voice sound as normal as possible.

They were struggling to get back into their normal rhythm. Even after their apologies the previous night, Gilbert had seemed hesitant around her and she didn’t know what to do to put him at ease. Saying goodnight to each other had been awkward and nearly painful and while sleep came easier to both of them than in nights past, it couldn’t be considered restful.

“Yeah. Usually. I’ll wet it down after I eat.”

“Why? For all the people here you need to impress?” Anne asked as she looked around the empty room.

“Yes,” he said before asking, “Speaking of which, where can I find Matthew?”

“Front porch,” she said a little confused, but pointed the way regardless.

He walked through the house trying to prepare for the conversation. _It’s just Matthew, you’ve met him before and he is extremely kind. There is no reason to be afraid. You aren’t even dating Anne; she’s just a friend. You are here to help. You are here to help the girl you are in love with, your father’s ex-girlfriend and the guy who just had a heart attack. What the fuck am I doing here?_

He suppressed his grimace, took a deep breath and walked out of the house and into the clear, crisp morning.

“Hey Matthew, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Likewise, kid.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I have in years, if I’m being honest.”

“Good to hear. I assume you didn’t expect a house guest. An unpaying one, at least,” he said with an apologetic smile. “But I really am here to help so you can rest properly, so put me to work. What would you like me to start with?”

“You mow lawn?”

“Yes, sir. Push or ride?”

“Ride, that okay?”

“More than. I’m still recovering from that bike ride.”

“You really rode bike here from Avonlea?”

“Yes. Though based on how sore I am, I don’t think it was the best choice I’ve ever made. I’m going to go eat some breakfast quick and then I’ll be back out and you can tell me what to do.”

Matthew nodded his approval and Gilbert took that as a sign that he was free to go so he went back inside and sat down next to Anne.

“Did you cook for me?”

“No. I cooked for me and made extra.”

“You don’t eat eggs like this.”

“Maybe I do now.”

“Or maybe you’re trying to be nice to me because you still feel bad. Stop it.”

“And there’s cinnamon rolls finishing up in the oven and here is some coffee. It’s that Obsidian stuff you like so much.”

“That you don’t drink because you think it’s too bitter. You need to stop this.”

“Gilbert, you rode all the way here on a bike. I’m going to make you breakfast. Fair and square, remember?”

“You just letting me be here is more than fair. Thank you for breakfast, really, but please don’t go out of your way to cook for me again. I’m here to help you. I don’t want you doing extra work for me.”

“It’s not work; I’m happy to do it.”

***

It took Gilbert about an hour to mow the lawn and though Anne tried, she couldn’t help but watch him and be surprised at how natural he looked in the role. It looked second nature to him, and then she remembered that it actually was. She still couldn’t picture Gilbert as a farmer. It didn’t align with the version of him that she knew and every time she was reminded of his other life, she found it a bit disorienting. She watched him drive the mower back into the shed when he finished, saw him practically limp back to the building and laughed as he waddled into the house.

“Gilbert. Scale of 0 to 10. How much pain are you in right now?”

“Fourteen, fifteen max,” he said as he fell into a chair.

“Did Bash pack you any swimming trunks?”

“I doubt it. Why?”

“Here,” she said, throwing a pair at him that she had gotten out earlier. “We keep extras. And before you freak out, they’re new.”

“What?”

“There’s a screened porch on the west side of the house. There’s a hot tub in there. We don’t have anyone arriving until after three and you’re welcome to use it. It’ll help loosen you up.”

“Are you sure?”

“What help are you going to be to us if you can’t move?”

“Fine. If I’m not back in an hour come fish me out.”

“Hell no, I’m going with you. I always feel bad for using the hot tub. You’re my excuse.”

“Well, I think I remember telling you one time to use me, so what the hell,” he said much more confidently than he felt. As he walked away to change, he mentally prepared himself for the torture this was likely to be.

Anne went up to her room to change. Gilbert had seen her in her one-piece suit. Gilbert had seen her in lingerie. Certainly, wearing her two-piece suit wouldn’t be inappropriate.

_He thinks I’m pretty, right? No. Screw that. This suit looks good on me, if he doesn’t agree, then fuck him… If only… Stop it, brain... Okay, I know this looks good on me and I’m going to wear it confidently. Okay, maybe not as confidently as I’d like, but I can do this._

She threw a t-shirt on over the suit and walked quickly downstairs and found Gilbert waiting for her. She forced herself to maintain eye contact with him as he stood in front of her without a shirt and with a body that was a lot more toned than the previous summer.

“You didn’t have to wait,” she said.

“I really did. I don’t know how to open it up or what buttons to push.”

“Right,” she said as she deftly maneuvered the cover off the hot tub and programmed in the timer. “Go ahead, I’m just going to get some water. Do you want some?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.”

He got in slowly, the heat shocking his system a bit, then settled into a spot and relaxed. He opened his eyes when he heard Anne re-enter, went over to the edge and kneeled on the seat to take the glass of water from her. He took a drink, and when he was done, his eyes fell on Anne taking off her shirt, leaving her standing in front of him in only an emerald green bikini.

“Fuck,” he said, accidentally, on a sigh.

“Pardon?” she asked, honestly not having understood what he said over the sound of the hot tub. “If you say I look like a leprechaun, I’m going to punch you.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “You are **terrible** at reading my expressions, Carrots. Just, truly awful. I think it might be the thing you are worst at in the entire world. What?” he asked as he unapologetically stared at her. “When did you get the tattoo?”

“Spring break, it’s cute right?”

 _Yeah, cute,_ he said sarcastically to himself. “Cute is not at all the word I would use. Come here, what does it say?”

“I am a bird and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.”

She walked over to him, so he could see it and was surprised when his hand came to rest on her waist and his thumb grazed over the tattoo as he inspected it. The text was written along the tail of a stunning watercolor style bird on her rib cage whose wings were spread up, partially framing the underside of her breast.

He suddenly realized that touching her like that wasn’t really called for and quickly removed his hand.

“Sorry,” he said awkwardly, “I’m not sure why I did that. Jane Eyre. Nice.”

She tried to speak confidently but couldn’t (and didn’t really want to) get the caress out of her mind.

“You’ve read it?” she asked.

“Last summer. You said it changed your life, so I obviously read it,” he admitted before moving back to where he had been sitting. “That’s a really beautiful tattoo. Nice choice,” he said as she climbed in the water and sat down in the opposite corner from him.

“Cole helped with the concept and I think he’s dating the tattoo artist now actually. So technically that makes me a matchmaker.”

“I’m surprised you would get a tattoo in such a private location. Don’t you want to show it off?”

“I am showing it off.”

“But you typically don’t go around with your shirt off. Wouldn’t it be more fun for it to be where everyone could see it? It’s really a spectacular piece.”

“I don’t care what everyone thinks, but I do care what you think, Gilbert. Yours is one of the only opinions I actually care about. Not on this. My tattoo is fucking awesome and no one would be able to convince me otherwise. But generally, Gil, I care about what you think. And I’m so sorry I gave you the impression that I didn’t.”

“You already apologized, Anne. You don’t need to keep doing it.”

“I know. But this is the part where I start modifying my behavior to reflect my beliefs.”

“You’ve really given this a lot of thought.”

“I have.”

***

**Cole – Mobile**

_A little warning about the tattoo would  
have been nice._

_You and Anne make up/make out?_

_Yes/No.  
We’re talking.  
I think we’re fine.  
Fine-ish. It’s a little awkward still.  
No we aren’t together like you want us  
to be._

_Like YOU want you to be._

_Fair.  
Anyway. Why didn’t you warn be about  
the tattoo?_

_Not my business.  
Apparently you’ve seen it now.  
What did you think?_

_Well…  
I saw it after she stripped her shirt off in  
front of me with no warning, leaving her  
wearing only a bikini and that tattoo.  
So I think that I was glad I was in a hot tub  
up to my waist._

_HA!  
  
_

_How can she be so unaware of how beautiful  
she is?_

_No idea.  
And I’m with you on this, it’s really annoying._

_Or is she doing it on purpose just to drive  
me crazy?  
  
_

_Wait.  
Where are you guys?_

_Green Gables/her house._

_I feel like you left out some of the story._

_Yeah. That was intentional._

***Day 3***

They were doing better together. The apologies had been said and forgiveness had been given, but Gilbert still wasn’t acting completely himself and it was driving Anne nuts. After a long day of helping out at Green Gables, they sat together on the floor of Anne’s room playing Trivial Pursuit.

“You’re still not acting normal.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re not joking around and your sarcasm is at an all-time low.”

“I’m just trying to be respectful. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“Are you afraid of me?” she asked.

“Yeah, a little. Or I guess I’m afraid of your reactions maybe. I don’t want to make you mad. Or give you another reason to shut me out,” he admitted quietly.

“Ugh, I really fucked this up, didn’t I?”

“No, we both did. No way is this all on you.”

“This isn’t going to work if we don’t feel free to speak our minds, GIlbert. I want to hear what you’re thinking, even if it makes me mad.”

“Why?”

“Because even when you make me mad, it’s usually at least good for a laugh. Seriously. Don’t hold back. I’m pretty fucking tough. And now I know, that even if we really fight, we’ll find a way to get through it. I won’t shut you out again, Gil. I promise.”

“You might regret giving me that much freedom to say what I’m thinking,” he said with the first genuine smile she had seen from him since he arrived.

“I don’t doubt it,” she said with a laugh and then added, “In fact, I look forward to it.”

***Day 4***

“Good morning Gilbert! How did you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you, Marilla. This is by far the best hotel type thing I’ve ever been to.”

“Well, I’m sure you appreciate the scenery anyway.”

He laughed and blushed.

Marilla continued, “I’m so glad that out of all the people at that university you somehow met Anne and became one of her best friends. It’s just such a spectacularly wonderful coincidence, and I’ll be honest, I’m so happy that you are back in my life. I’ve missed you a great deal. I stopped by a few times after the funeral to check in on you, but you were gone. Anne told me what you got up to. Quite the adventure you had.”

“Yeah, it was. I’m happy I went, but happier to be back.”

“Sometimes we need to step back and gain some perspective, to see where we’ve been and find which path we are supposed to take forward.”

“You know, Marilla, I was mad when he ended things with you. I didn’t think I would care that much, but I got used to having you around. And I was getting excited about the possibility of having a mom around. But now, selfishly, I’m sorry, but I’m so glad that it didn’t work out. I feel terrible for saying that, because I know it must have been terrible for you, really, and it was terrible for me too, but…”

“Anne,” she supplied quietly.

“Anne,” he echoed.

“I’m happy with how things worked out too, Gilbert. I have no doubt that I would have been deliriously happy with your father and having you for a son would have fulfilled a dream I didn’t even realize I had at the time, but I’m deliriously happy here with Anne as well. She is a wish come true I never even knew I was making. I agree, everything is as it should be.”

“Thanks for inviting me to stay. I really appreciate it.”

She stood up, kissed the top of his head and said, “I expect you’ll be my son yet, dear boy. Just give it time.”

Gilbert was left speechless by her words and walked in a daze to the front porch to see what Matthew wanted him to do. It was one thing to dream about marrying Anne, but quite another to have the possibility presented by Marilla.

***Day 5***

Anne and Gilbert were chatting over lunch on the porch, finally enjoying their typical banter.

“You can’t possibly prefer Jerry! Sure Tom is relentless in his pursuit, but Jerry does nothing but egg him on,” Gilbert argued. “In turn, Tom can’t help but go after him.”

“And Tom should have learned by now that he is getting nowhere and just give up!” Anne laughed.

“Maybe he can’t give up, Anne, did you ever think of that? Maybe it’s the thrill of the chase, maybe Jerry is Tom’s Moby Dick.”

“It’s been eighty years! He’s never going to catch him!”

“So you’re saying that because someone doesn’t succeed right away, he should just give up?”

“No! I’m just saying that stupid cat should maybe find a hobby.”

“Anne! Gilbert!” Marilla called out. “Ah, there you are. This is so much fun. Just think if things had worked out differently you two could’ve been like siblings!”

Their laughter stopped cold at the awkward realization.

“I need you two to go get some groceries for me and Anne, you said you had a prescription to pick up anyway, right?”

“Yep.”

“That should work out well then. Here’s the list and Anne, you can just put it on your card and I’ll pay for it later, alright?”

“Sounds good. What car should we take?”

“Take Matthew’s truck.”

“Really?” Anne asked excitedly. “Thank you, Marilla!”

Matthew had an old truck. Not really a collectible, but because it was Matthew’s, it was in pristine condition and Anne loved driving it. It was small and light blue and when Anne drove it, she felt like a bad ass. They finished up their lunch and then got on their way.

“What’s the deal with the truck?” Gilbert asked as they walked to the garage.

“She never lets me take the truck. You’re going to love it. It is so cute.”

“Yeah, you know me and my love for cute trucks,” he said sardonically. “You know I don’t care about cars, Anne.”

“You’ll like this one.”

***

As they were driving, Gilbert couldn’t help himself and asked, “Are you sick?”

“No. Why? Do I look sick?”

“No, I was just wondering about the prescription.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, you know I’m going to.”

“It’s just birth control Gilbert, calm the fuck down.”

This was not at all calming information for him to hear.

“Why do you need birth control?”

“I don’t think you’re getting your money’s worth in pre-med, Gil,” she tried to joke, knowing this was a bit of an awkward conversation.

“I obviously know what birth control is for. I just wasn’t aware that you were seeing anyone.”

“Here’s a news flash: Birth control, not just for preventing babies!”

“I’m so confused,” he admitted.

“Well, you see Gilbert,” she began condescendingly, “Every month, we ladies endure our womanly flowering time.”

“Oh my god,” he said rubbing his forehead with his hand. “I know what a period is!”

“Well then it’s time you learn that the hormones in birth control can make cramping less painful and also provide you with a handy dandy schedule.”

“Got it. Thank you,” he said, hoping to end the conversation. He knew not to ask about other people’s medicines. _What was I thinking? It’s none of my business._

“It’s quite the remarkable little pill,” she continued. “It also helps with mood swings.”

“Are you sure about that?” he said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Gilbert Blythe, there are so many expletives running through my brain right now aimed at you that I can’t even organize them into a coherent thought,” she said as they pulled into a parking spot.

“I’ve rendered Anne Shirley Cuthbert speechless. Is there a prize for that?”

“Yeah, my fist in your face. Get out. Let’s get this over with.”

They went to pick up the prescription first.

“You really don’t need to come with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I though? You afraid to be seen with me?”

“While picking up birth control? Absolutely. This is a small town. People are going to talk.”

“Let them,” he said confidently.

“Anne?!” the pharmacy assistant asked excitedly.

“Yeah? Oh, wow, hi Jenny! I didn’t realize you worked here.”

“Yeah, my dad bought the place, so here I am.”

“How are you?”

“Not as well as you apparently,” she said as she took Anne’s prescription out of a small basket on the counter and slid it to her as she eyed Gilbert. “If this is what you were holding out for, I can’t blame you for not giving any of the guys in our class a second glance.”

“No, Jenny, were not-”

“Hi Jenny, I’m Gilbert, nice to meet you,” he introduced himself and Anne saw Jenny actually bat her eyelashes at him. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“You may ask me whatever you would like.”

“Anne has mentioned she was teased a bit in school here, do you remember that at all?”

“Yeah, there were a few people who were just terrible to her. If I’m remembering right, you didn’t have a lot of close friends, but I think the vast majority of us liked you, Anne, most of us just thought you were quiet and preferred to keep to yourself.”

“Which I did, so thank you.”

“Really though, I think the girls who were so terrible to you were just jealous, they saw how the guys looked at you and wanted some of that attention for themselves. As for the guys, well, you know how kids tease when they have a crush on someone, and then when you kept ignoring them they just revealed themselves for the asses they are. Which saved most of us from falling for their good looks and discovering the truth in a more painful way later, so I guess we all owe you our thanks, Anne.”

“Oh, ok, you’re welcome, I guess,” she offered, confused by the explanation.

“Thank you for proving a point, Jenny, it was wonderful chatting with you,” Gilbert said as he put his arm around Anne and turned them back to the main part of the store.

“Must you flirt with everyone?” Anne asked, slightly aggravated. It wasn’t her business, she knew, but he was so affable it was off-putting at times.

“I wasn’t flirting, I was just being nice. I don’t even think I know how to flirt. I just talk to people.”

“Oh, hell no, don’t give me that shit. You have a legitimate charm switch that you turn on just like that,” she said as she snapped her fingers.

“You think I’m charming?” he said with his most hopeful smile.

“I think this conversation is over. We have shopping to do,” she said, ignoring the question.

***

They found everything they needed, paid and loaded it into the truck.

“Crap,” Gilbert said. “Didn’t you say you needed more tea?”

“Shit. Yes.”

“I’ll get it. I’ll be right back,” he said and went back into the store.

He quickly returned with the forgotten tea and he stopped in his tracks. Anne was sitting in the truck with legs stretched across the cab, resting on the dash, playing with her hair and singing along to the radio. He had never understood the appeal of women posing with classic cars, but at that moment it made sense to him.

***Day 6***

Living with Gilbert was difficult, but only because it was harder to stop thinking about him now that he was around all the time. He was consuming her every thought. She knew that what she craved wasn’t exercise, but that was more reasonable than anything else so she was willing to try it. Gilbert had already been there for nearly a week, was going to stay for another fifteen days, and something had to be done. She took her computer out on the deck of the second level and pulled up a yoga video specifically aimed at releasing sexual tension and proceeded to follow along for the hour-long class. At the end of it, she laid back on the deck and silently screamed. She was exhausted, but no less tense. If anything, she felt that her problem only increased and groaned in frustration.

The yoga didn’t help Gilbert either, who just happened to come down the stairs and look out onto the deck as Anne folded herself in half. In response, he decided to wait in his room and read until this particular brand of torture passed.

***Day 7***

Gilbert woke in the middle of the night needing a glass of water. He went downstairs and when he returned, he could hear Anne crying through the door. He knocked softly and heard her stop suddenly.

“Anne, it’s me, if you don’t want me to come in, say something.”

Upon hearing silence, he opened her door, walked over to her and sat on the edge of her bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Matthew…”

“Matthew is fine. Even he says he feels better than he has in years. With a good diet and exercise, he can live another thirty years.”

“He almost died.”

“But he didn’t. And you need to focus on that. It’s scary when you come close to losing someone you love, but you need to stay focused on the fact that you didn’t. He’s still here. All you can do now is use the time you’ve been given to show him how much you love him. Be grateful that this time, the odds were in your favor.”

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” she whispered.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Anne moved over on her twin bed, providing him room to lay next to her. He turned and lay down and held his hand up in the air to see if she needed it. She laughed softly, placed hers with the enthusiasm of a high-five and their hands fell back down to the bed together. When her breathing shifted and he knew she had fallen asleep, he squeezed her hand, kissed it and then walked back to his room.

***Day 8***

“Matthew? Marilla?” Gilbert asked quietly as he walked into the kitchen while Anne was taking a shower. “Do either of you know how to teach someone to ride a bike?”

“Not sure that I do. Who are you teaching?” Matthew asked.

“Anne.”

“Anne doesn’t know how to ride a bike?!” Marilla whispered.

“No. And she is really embarrassed.”

“Not as embarrassed as I am! How could I have failed her like that?” Marilla asked in disbelief.

“You didn’t fail her,” Gilbert said. “It just got overlooked.”

“Can’t say I have any advice to offer,” said Matthew. “Maybe check on the internet and see if they know anything.”

Gilbert got out his phone and did an internet search as he left the room then sat down in the living room to watch a video.

“Morning Gil,” Anne said cheerily as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She found that knowing she got to see Gilbert first thing dramatically altered her normal morning mood.

“Morning Carrots,” he said. He stood and walked over to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. “You have shorts under that skirt?”

“Always.”

“Come with me?”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s time you learn how to ride a bike,” he said as he took her hand and led her out of the house.

“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yes. Just so you know, about 6% of adults don’t know how to ride a bike so you are not alone here. And two videos online caught my eye and I want you to be proud of me for **not** picking the one named _How to teach a Stubborn Child to Ride a Bike_.”

She swatted his upper arm with her free hand and then looked away to hide her laugh. Holding Gilbert’s hand was one of her favorite things. It was a completely platonic hand hold, but it was so warm and comforting and she couldn’t get enough of it.

His bike was waiting for them in the parking lot in front of the barn.

“I moved the seat down for you. It should fit you well enough. I hope. Hop on. Good, that looks about right. Comfortable?”

“No,” she said as she scrunched up her face, adjusting herself on the seat.

“Sounds about right. It’s made for a guy, so you’ll just have to deal. Sorry. K. First, I washed my helmet yesterday so here, put it on.”

He took the time to adjust the straps on the helmet to fit her better and Anne got completely lost in his eyes as he did so.

“These here on the handles are the brakes, you just squeeze them to stop,” he explained, bringing her back to reality. “To start out, ignore the pedals and just glide around, alternating your feet and pushing yourself forward. Apparently you have to find your center of balance and that could take a couple seconds or a couple hours, so take your time to figure it out. Once you have your balance, we’ll add in the pedals.”

“You’re just going to give me a bike and say go for it?”

“What are you talking about? I told you exactly what the video said to do. I’m going to watch you and if you have trouble I will try to help. I’m just assuming you’ll be good at this because you seem to be good at everything. Just try it.”

Anne glided around the mostly empty parking lot while Gilbert tried to stay focused on her learning on how to ride a bike and not get distracted by everything he loved about watching her move and think. After about twenty minutes she was gliding around confidently.

“Alright, I think I have it. Now what?” she asked.

“It said to slowly try adding the pedals in. You’ve seen people bike, I guess just go for it?”

She looked at him, doubtful. “Aren’t you supposed to, like, walk alongside me and help me?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Do you want me to fall on my ass?”

“No.”

“Then get yours over here.”

“Anne, I don’t know how to help you with this.”

“Yes. you do, Gilbert, you just don’t know how to do it without touching my butt,” she said a little annoyed. “Just hold onto the seat and handlebar like you’re supposed to. If you happen to touch my butt, I promise I understand that you don’t mean anything by it. How’s that? Just pretend I’m Charlie or something.”

“No thank you. How about instead I embrace the fact that it’s you and take advantage of the opportunity you’re giving me to touch your ass?”

She looked at him surprised. “Excuse me?”

“What? Didn’t you say the other day that you want me to speak my mind? That’s the kind of shit you’re going to need to put up with.”

She laughed, “So, let me get this straight, even you, Mr. Polite with all your archaic manners and propriety, at the end of the day you’re just looking for an excuse to touch a girl’s ass?”

“Yeah, obviously,” he said as though he couldn't believe she didn’t already know this.

“Even if that girl is your best friend?”

“My relationship with you is nearly irrelevant. I’m a guy and you are extremely attractive. Don’t get me wrong, I am never going to be disrespectful of you in order to touch you, but if you give me permission to touch your ass, I’m definitely not going to sit here and pretend you are Charlie.”

“Just as well,” she sighed. “Charlie has no ass anyway. Let’s do this.”

She caught on quickly, and if she were being honest with herself, she was upset that Gilbert did take greater advantage of the opportunity to touch her. So she decided she had to take advantage of the opportunity. She legitimately nearly fell twice and intentionally nearly fell three times before catching on, just so she could fall into his arms.

***

That evening Marilla surprised Anne with a cake with a bike drawn on it in icing.

“Marilla, please, you didn’t have to bake me a cake.”

“I most certainly did! A child’s milestones are to be celebrated, no matter when they occur. I am so proud of you, Anne.”

“Me too, my girl,” Matthew added.

“Gilbert, dear, take a picture of us please,” Marilla requested.

Gilbert took out his phone and took a picture of Anne with the proudest parents he had ever seen.

***Day 9***

“Yay! You finally want to watch Pride and Prejudice with me?”

“No. I want you to stop asking me to watch it with you and this seems like the only way to make that happen.”

“Oh, look at that! You finally learned something!” she joked. “Just so you’re prepared, I want you to read the book someday as well, because the book is better.”

“Always true.”

“Obviously. But this is great, I promise. And it’s not too cheesy. It’s more a portrait of the period and just how things were done at the time regarding marriage and family inheritance and how important it was to marry well. They are quite blatant about the fact that romance often didn’t play into it at all.”

“Do you not think I like romance or something?”

“You’ve been complaining about me asking you to watch this movie since I met you. Why else would you not want to watch it?”

“I promise it has nothing to do about not liking romance, Anne.”

“Then what is it about?”

_Not wanting to watch you drool over some guy that you’ve called your ideal while being made aware of how I don’t measure up._

“I guess I’m worried about not liking it. You love it so much; I’ll just feel bad if I don’t feel the same.”

It wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t most of the truth.

“You can hold whatever opinion about it that you want. You’ve been wrong before, I’m sure it’s bound to happen again,” she teased.

He followed her downstairs but was confused why she didn’t go to the living room.

“Where are you going?”

“We can’t watch it in here. We have guests. We’ll have to go to the basement.”

“I didn’t even know there was a basement.”

“There’s a basement. A small one. With a small couch and a large TV. Still interested?”

“As ever.”

Anne led him to the stairs and they went down to the basement which was exactly as she described.

“That TV is enormous.”

“I like my historical fiction life-size.”

“Apparently.”

“Downside of the basement is that it’s freezing. Can you grab me a blanket from that pile in the corner?”

He picked up three.

“Don’t you need one?” she joked.

He threw them at her and went to get another.

“I was kidding! I don’t need three blankets.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t lie.”

Ten minutes into the movie and Anne was shivering, even wrapped up in three blankets.

“What the hell is wrong with you? It is summer! Why are you shivering? How do you even survive the winter?”

“Shut up. It’s not my fault I’m always cold.”

“It’s ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Do you want me to sit closer to you to warm you up?”

“Yes, please,” she conceded.

He moved to the center of the couch and she leaned toward him. A half hour later, she fell asleep and her head came to rest on his shoulder. It took everything in him not to kiss it as he inhaled the increasingly intoxicating smell of her. Instead, he leaned back and took her hand in his as he thought _Alright, time to figure out what the hell she sees in this pretentious, arrogant ass who thinks he knows what’s best for everyone._

By the end of it, he found some similarities between the relationship depicted on screen and his and Anne’s relationship, but he still couldn’t really see what made Mr. Darcy all that appealing.

_Maybe it’ll make more sense when I read the book._

***Day 10***

“Gilbert! Hurry up! Marilla needs new flowers in all the rooms.”

He opened the door a crack and peeked through, “What does that have to do with me?”

“We’re picking flowers for vases in eight rooms. I need help.”

“K.”

“Hurry up! It’s supposed to start raining soon!”

“Do you want me to be wearing clothes or not?”

 _Not._ “Yes.”

“Then you will need to give me a minute to get dressed. And stop yelling at me, I’m right in front of you.”

He was out a minute later in a t-shirt and jeans.

“Was that wait really such a hardship?” he asked her.

“Absolutely unbearable. Come on, it’s a bit of a walk to the meadow.”

“It looks really sunny for it to be raining pretty soon,” he said doubtfully.

“I looked at the radar, Gil, it’s coming.”

They walked for about five minutes, chatting about this and that and then Gilbert said, “So you just have a field of wildflowers somewhere?”

“Yes,” she said as they came to the top of the hill and looked down in the valley. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Wow,” he said. The sight was truly breathtaking. Then he looked at his friend, who was standing there smiling in the breeze and he figured the beauty of the moment increased tenfold.

“We need a couple of handfuls of every color. Not picky about the type. I’ll arrange them when we get back. Just gather a variety and we should be good.”

They gathered flowers for fifteen minutes as the clouds slowly moved it. Before they knew it, it was dark and started sprinkling.

“Gil, let’s go,” Anne said looking up at the sky. “We should have enough.”

They started walking back and the heavens released a downpour. The flowers were protected by the covers on the baskets, but Anne and Gilbert were properly soaked through.

“I told you,” she said proudly as they finally reached the house.

“Yep, you did,” he conceded. “But I still won.”

“How the fuck,” she began and then looked around to make sure no guests or worse, Marilla, heard her. “How the heck do you figure that you win?”

“Because at the end of the day, I’m just a guy, and you’re just a girl standing in front of me in a completely transparent white t-shirt,” he said with his eyebrows raised as he unapologetically checked her out.

She looked down at herself and between the wetness, the cling factor, and the fact that she was wearing a simple bralette under her t-shirt there really was very little left to the imagination.

“I’m surprised,” he said as he opened the door for her to go inside, “I would expect better planning from you.”

She walked past him then smiled to herself. _It’s so cute that he thinks he won,_ she thought, _I planned this out perfectly, thank you very much, and it seems to have been very well received._

***Day 11***

He could hear Anne and Marilla discussing something and they both smiled sweetly at him as he entered the room. Too sweetly.

“What did I do? Am I in trouble?” he asked cautiously.

“So here’s the thing,” Anne began.

“Not a promising start,” he quipped.

“Oh, she’s making it out to be worse than it is. Gilbert, our pianist for this evening cancelled, which ordinarily wouldn’t be an issue, but there is a young man planning his engagement here and he would really like some music over dinner.”

“Marilla, I’m really not that great.”

“Marilla, he’ll do fine,” Anne reassured.

“I don’t have anything worth listening to memorized,” he argued.

“We have some simple music you can play off of. Even I could play it before the arthritis started.”

“I haven’t played anything but pop music for a really long time,” he offered his final objection.

“So this should be fun for you!” Anne encouraged. “Come on, I’ll get you the book and you can practice a bit.”

He practiced for a while and it came back to him pretty easily, though it probably would have been easier if Anne weren’t watching him.

“Told you you’d be fine.”

“‘Fine’ is not ‘good.’ I hope they aren’t musicians or they will be incredibly underwhelmed.”

“They’re getting engaged. They probably won’t even know you are here.”

“Good.”

***

That evening, Gilbert played for a while over dinner and after an hour, excused himself as planned with the future groom. He went upstairs and found Anne lying on the floor, spying at them through the banister.

“What are you doing?” he whispered as he lay down next to her.

“Spying on their engagement,” she explained.

“Is this something you do often?”

“Yes.”

“To what end?”

“To criticize lack of originality, mostly. But in the end, they are always so happy, so apparently for most people originality doesn’t matter much.”

“But it does for you?”

She allowed herself to dream for a minute and to think about the actual possibility of marrying someday.

“I guess authenticity is more important than originality. Too often it looks like the person proposing is just doing it because it’s expected. I overheard a guy on the phone once. He was using speakerphone on the porch and it sounded like someone was trying to talk him out of proposing and he actually said that since they had been together for four years and living together for two, it was just the next logical step. There was no feeling behind it, just poorly assembled logic. I felt bad for the woman, honestly, until I saw the proposal. She said yes and started crying. But it wasn’t tears of joy. She was sad. In that moment it looked like she had given up. I wonder whatever happened to them. I hope they didn’t go through with it.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“It was. Who knows though- I only saw a small window into their life. Maybe I misread the situation.”

“Unfortunately, you are usually pretty good at reading people.” _Just not me. Why is that?_ He wondered and then continued, “Are there a lot of engagements here?”

“Yeah. Engagements, weddings, honeymoons, the works.”

They watched the woman agree to the proposal, saw him place the ring on her finger and then kiss very enthusiastically.

Gilbert cleared his throat and said, “Well, she certainly seems excited.”

“Yeah, she does,” she said wistfully.

“They really should get a room,” Gilbert said as the man’s hands started to find his way under the woman’s shirt.

“This is pretty typical,” Anne said as though watching the scene play out were an everyday occurrence. “This place gets more action than a brothel,” she said quietly.

Gilbert had to work hard to stifle his laugh so as not to interrupt the couple.

“Does that get awkward?”

“No. Not really. When we remodeled, we insulated for sound like crazy.”

“In anticipation of overhearing people have sex?”

“Yep. Marilla and Mathew just said for privacy though.”

“This would have been really good to know upon arrival,” Gilbert admitted.

“You looking to get some action?” she joked.

He didn’t really answer her, but said, “I’ve just been moving around my room as quietly as possible so as not to bother anyone. I’m just glad I can go back to walking normally.” 

***Day 12***

“Why don’t you two get away from here for the day?” Marilla suggested as they were cleaning up from lunch.

“I thought Gilbert was here to help out.”

“He has. And so have you. And as a result, there’s nothing that needs to be done right now,” she answered honestly. “Why don’t you go walk around downtown or something, show Gilbert around? Can’t stay holed up here all the time. Go explore.”

Marilla was quickly becoming one of Gilbert’s favorite people again. Regardless of if anything ever happened between him and Anne, he owed Marilla in a big way.

They walked down the hill and around town for a while and Anne explained where everything was and told associated stories along the way while Gilbert eagerly listened to her open up a bit about her past. Before they knew it, the afternoon had passed and they were both hungry and thirsty from walking around. Even though it was rather early for dinner, they decided to get something at the bar. When they entered, it was nearly empty, but they were greeted warmly by the woman behind the bar who told them to grab a seat wherever. They took a booth near the back. They ordered some drinks, chatted while the waitress made them and as soon as she dropped them off at the table, they each took a hearty drink and then began arguing over which appetizer to share and eventually settled on the nachos.

After they ordered their food and another round of drinks, Gilbert went to use the bathroom. On his way back, he stopped to get them some popcorn around the corner from the bar and overheard the waitress talking to a couple friends.

“No, I don’t think they’re together. Go ahead, ask him out, the worst he can say is no.”

“Victoria, leave them alone, they came here to enjoy a meal. Even if they aren’t together, I doubt he came here with a friend who is that pretty and is secretly hoping some other woman will hit on him.”

“You look that good and act single, you should expect the attention.”

“Because he has good genetics he deserves to have you interrupt his day?”

“Yes.”

Gilbert walked back to Anne and awkwardly sat down next to her instead of across from her.

“What’s the deal?”

“Um… Can you pretend to be my girlfriend until we leave here?” he asked her quietly.

“Why?”

“Victoria is apparently interested in asking me out.”

“Who is Victoria?”

“No idea, I overheard them talking while getting popcorn.”

“How do you want to accomplish this? You wanna make out on the table or something?”

“Anne?” he said laughing, “What would you do if I actually said yes?”

She looked at him in surprise.

“Don’t tease if you aren’t willing to follow through,” he said.

“Sorry. Long Island Iced Tea, empty stomach,” _secret desires_ , she added in her mind, “You know how it goes.”

“Lucky for you I don’t think that’s necessary,” he said as he put his arm around her.

“Damn you’re comfortable,” she said as she leaned into him. “You wouldn’t think you would be, but you are.”

“Why wouldn’t you think I’d be comfortable?”

“Because you’re all fit and lacking fat and shit, but you’re just comfy. I don’t know how to explain it. But I might fall asleep.” She was pretty well aware that the alcohol had gone straight to her head, but regardless, she added, “Fuck, this is ridiculous. It’s like you have a me-shaped nook built right into you.”

“You are not wrong,” he agreed with her and they rested quietly until their food came.

***

The bar filled up over time and Gilbert was happy that Victoria never made her way over to him.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself. Everyone in town is going to think we’re together.”

“I **am** proud of myself. Is it so bad if they assume that? It’s not like they asked and we lied.”

“It’s not bad, it’s just not true.”

“Are you trying to date someone here?”

This was a little tricky, because technically, yes, she was, so she said, “From New London? Heck no.”

“And I’m certainly not interested in dating your neighbors, so I really don’t see the harm.”

“You really don’t care if people assume you’re dating me.”

“No! Why would I?”

“Because I’m-”

“Smart, beautiful, kind, generous, interesting, funny, do I need to go on? You are amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you. Especially me.”

“You are too nice to me, Gilbert Blythe.”

“I’m appropriately nice to you. I’m only telling you the facts.”

***Day 13***

“Gilbert? Would you be able to paint the sign outside?”

“Of course, do you already have the paint?”

“Yes, it was delivered yesterday and it’s in the shed along with brushes. Anne washed the sign off last night so it should be clean and dry and ready for you. It just needs a fresh coat of paint- same colors that are already on there.”

“You got it.”

“Thank you!” she called after him as he went outside.

“Welcome!”

The task wasn’t hard, but it was time consuming. After a couple hours, he was happy to see Anne bringing him some water and food. He would have been happy to see her regardless, but he was extra glad to see her right now.

“You’re my hero,” he said, first taking the water from her.

“Why? This is all for me. What? Were you hungry?”

“Shut up and give me the damn sandwich.”

She laughed, “You get so hangry.”

He glared at her and said, “You have no room to talk on this matter, Carrots. Remember that buffet we went to before finals week? I totally know you considered pushing that preschooler out of your way to get at the fried chicken.”

“Shut up. You don’t know me. And it’s not like I actually did it. I would never push a child.”

“I know that, but I also saw you pinching your own wrist to relieve the aggression.”

“You should just be thankful I’ve actually found ways of relieving my aggression since you are so often the cause of it.”

“I consider that a compliment. It takes a lot to get under your skin as thoroughly as I have.”

“That it does,” she admitted. “The sign looks good. You almost done?”

“Yeah, I just have the sun left.”

“You are covered in paint.”

“Yes I am. It’ll come off in the shower. I’m not worried,” he said and then held up the green paint brush. “Are you feeling left out?”

“No,” she said as she began to back away. “Gilbert Blythe, don’t you dare touch me with that brush.”

“You are covered in dirt from gardening, this will hardly make a difference.”

“It’s paint! Not dirt!”

“I know. That makes it a lot more fun,” he said as he chased her.

She doubled back to the paint and picked up a paintbrush of her own to fight with.

“Anne, I’m already covered, what are you going to do?”

“Your arms are covered. Your face is quite clean. But not for long,” she threatened as she painted her hands and went after him.

***

Gilbert eventually finished painting the sun and they walked together back to the house. Marilla met them on the porch and struggled to contain her laughter.

“So, did **any** of the paint end up on the sign?”

“The sign looks great, Marilla, I promise,” Anne said politely.

“Well then, do I need to hose you off in the yard?”

“I guess that’s up to you,” Gilbert said. “It’s your house.”

“Gilbert started it,” Anne argued.

“And as you can see, Anne did not go down without a fight.”

“Clearly. Let me know if you need us to reimburse you for that shirt, Gilbert.”

“That won’t be necessary. It’s a price I’m willing to pay to see Anne with green hair.”

Marilla turned to walk back inside and said, “Get cleaned up. Anne, you can use my shower so neither of you needs to wait.”

They watched her go inside, then Anne turned to Gilbert and whispered, “If it doesn’t come out, you’re dead to me.” 

“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know for sure that it would come out,” he said before laughing. “I wish you could have seen the look on your face.”

“The look of recognizing betrayal?” she asked.

He turned to face her, tucked her green, gooey hair behind her ear and said quietly, “Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t enjoy this. No sarcasm, no half-truths, no lies.”

She opened her mouth to speak and nothing came out.

“You have a different expression when you’re legitimately mad versus when we’re arguing for fun or debating,” he explained. “Did you know that? It’s all in your eyes. When you are actually mad, like at the party, you start to look cold and detached, almost like you’re building a wall to protect yourself while you are still in the moment. When you’re enjoying it, you look like you’re burning from within; your eyes ignite with passion and you exude this extra energy. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“Your point?” she asked on a whisper.

“My point is that I have argued with you more than anyone else in the world, and I have never seen you more on fire, Carrots,” he whispered back. “So don’t you dare tell me you weren’t having a good time.”

They entered the house without another word and both took exceptionally long showers.

***Day 14***

The day had been a busy one; Saturdays were always like that. Gilbert had barely talked to or even seen Anne, which was fine, it was just unusual. Her hair caught his attention and he unintentionally stopped in the middle of what he was doing and watched her walk across the yard.

“Gilbert?” Matthew interrupted him. “Barn.”

It was not a suggestion. And he couldn’t help but get nervous.

“Why are you here?” Matthew asked.

“To help.”

“Don’t lie to me. But let me rephrase: Why are you here to help?”

There was no point in trying to work his way around it. Matthew was apparently able to see through him clear as anything.

“I’m in love with Anne.”

“Well, at least you can own up to it. You know, your father broke Marilla’s heart. She didn’t let it show, but he did. And when I picked Anne up from school, I assumed you did the same.”

“We got into a fight. A bad one. And we’ve both apologized and I’m not going to make the same mistake again. And I promise you that any hurt I caused Anne has since hurt me much more. To think I caused her even a second of pain after all the promises I’ve made to her… even after her forgiveness, it’s still crushing me. And please understand that my dad broke my heart too. Marilla was the closest thing to a mother I had ever known and he just decided on his own to remove her from my life as well. Do you think I wanted to endure all that alone? It was hell, Matthew. Unimaginable hell.”

“I can imagine it was,” Matthew said, trying to see the situation from Gilbert’s side for the first time.

Gilbert thought on it a minute and said, “I can’t promise you that I won’t hurt Anne again but I promise to never hurt her intentionally and will try to always do the right thing. Nothing matters to me more than her happiness.”

“Nothing?” Matthew asked skeptically, “Not even your own?”

“ **Nothing** matters to me more than Anne’s happiness,” he reiterated. “If she… if she lets me get close to her, I promise I will do everything I can to ensure that she’s happy for the rest of her life.”

“What are you saying?”

He gained some confidence, “I’m saying that I’m trying. I’m trying to be there for her in every way that she lets me. I’m trying to follow her lead regarding what’s appropriate in our relationship. I’m trying to become the man that she deserves. I’m trying to wait until she’s ready and I’m trying to convince myself that I could be good enough for her. I’m trying,” his voice cracked “I’m trying so hard, but I… I don’t know what I’m doing, Mr. Cuthbert. For some unfathomable reason, I knew the day I met her that I wanted to marry her and I don’t understand for the life of me why it seems I’ve been matched with the most remarkable person on the planet. I am not someone who suffers from low self-esteem, but with her, I am completely out of my depth. And it’s not just attraction, Matthew, it’s a pull. An inescapable pull toward her telling me that she is the only person I will ever love and I don’t know what to do. Even if I wanted to, I doubt I could ever stop loving her.”

Matthew took in the sight before him and saw Gilbert for what he was: a boy absolutely lost in love.

“Come here, son,” Matthew said, and pulled him into a hug. “Did you ever stop to think that you are maybe trying too hard? That maybe you are enough as you are?”

“No.”

“She doesn’t let many people in, Gilbert, only the truly exceptional. It wasn’t until she met you and Diana that she allowed herself to get invested in friendships. It’s so much easier to hold people at arm’s length than let them in and allow yourself to be vulnerable, but she is figuring it out. And although I’m inclined to tell all men to stay away from her because she is truly so special, I must admit that I’ve never seen her be more herself than she is with you.”

“Really?” he asked hopefully.

“Really. Stay the course and treat her well. You’ll both figure it out, in time.”

“I really would like to figure it out now,” he admitted quietly.

Matthew laughed and said, “You two really are quite alike in so many ways. Do you think that maybe she’s struggling exactly as you are?”

“That she has feelings for me and doesn’t think she’s good enough for me?” he questioned and then laughed, “No. I haven’t considered that. I don’t see how that could be the case.”

“I assumed as much; you two are remarkably similar.”

***Day 15***

“Anne, where’s Gilbert?” Marilla asked.

“Showering.”

“Is he your boyfriend yet?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s expressed no interest.”

“He’s expressed only interest, Anne. How do you not see that?”

“If he were interested, why hasn’t he said anything?”

“My best guess would be fear of rejection.”

“Rejection? Ha, that’s funny. People don’t reject Gilbert Blythe, Marilla, Gilbert Blythe rejects people. A lot of them. And often.”

“Maybe the right person hasn’t inquired,” she said. “And yes, I’m insinuating that **you** are the right person. He might just be waiting on a clear signal from you. Consider it, dear girl. I shouldn’t have to remind you that you don’t need to wait for the guy to make the first move. And even if you did, you two are well past that.”

***Day 16***

“Marilla, this is going to sound ridiculous, but we are kind of stuck in the barn… No, the old barn in the valley…Well, we are in here because it started pouring while we were taking a walk and we thought it would pass and then we could leave, but it didn’t pass and now it’s flooding and we are up in the loft. Who decided to put a barn at the bottom of the hill, anyway?... Yeah, it makes perfect sense why it was abandoned… Yes, Marilla, we are fine. Once it stops pouring, we will wade through the water and get back. It was light enough when we set out for the walk, but it’s practically black outside now and even darker in the barn. We just can’t see without using our phones and we can’t hold them out in the rain… No! I’m not coming up with excuses! Why on earth would I want to be stuck out here? … Oh, I see what you’re saying. But gosh no, that’s not what’s happening… Oh, I’ll be sure to tell him you think so.”

“Marilla thinks you’re cute,” Anne said to Gilbert.

“Yeah?” he laughed. “What does Anne think?” he asked her smugly.

“I think you’re an arrogant bastard.”

“Fortunately for me the two aren’t mutually exclusive. What do you want to do while we wait?”

“Just hang out, I guess. What’s the charge on your phone?”

“I left mine at your house,” he said as he sat down and leaned back against the wall.

She joined him and said, “And I have about 15%. So listening to music is out if we want enough power for a flashlight when this passes.”

“Good call.”

“How about we ask each other weird questions? Diana and I do that when we are drunk.”

He laughed, “Of course you do. That suits you perfectly.”

“Are you calling me boring?”

“Never. I’m impressed. Most stories I’ve overheard from girls are ‘You’ll never guess who I made out with when I was drunk.’”

“Yeah, if only I were that lucky,” she mused. “But no. Random questions are apparently where I thrive. So… what’s your favorite word?”

“Exsanguination,” he answered without hesitation.

“What does it mean?”

“Um, severe loss of blood. Like to the point of death. I don’t like what it means, I just think the word is cool.”

She laughed, “That’s super creepy.”

“Yes, it is. What’s your favorite word?

“Petrichor. Love the sound of it, love the meaning, love the smell. It is… absolutely blissful. Oh! And I love atlatl.”

“What?”

“Atlatl. Just say it.”

“Atlatl,” he said, and then laughed. “That’s awesome.”

“What’s your least favorite word?”

He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Orifice. Don’t know why, I just hate it. Oh, and Palimpsest. You?”

“Guess”

“Moist. It’s always moist.”

“Wrong. You should know I’m more original than that.”

“Yeah, I should.”

“But that **is** a terrible word,” she admitted.

“So?”

“Flaccid. Ugh, I can’t even say it without gagging a bit.”

“Why are you even using that word? When does it ever come up?”

“Oh, it never comes up,” she said suggestively, and he could practically hear her mischievous grin.

He laughed heartily, “A penis joke. Very unexpected. Well played, Carrots.”

“Seriously though, all jokes aside, it’s a gross word.”

“Agreed.”

“What’s the best day of your life so far?”

“Um, starting at school I guess,” he answered, though what he wanted to say was meeting her.

“Really? Why?”

“Because it was like a restart on my life. I found inspiration again and I was driven to be better. You?”

“The day I arrived at Green Gables.”

“That makes sense.”

“Biggest irrational fear?” she asked.

“Getting lost in space.”

“That is crazy irrational,” she laughed. “And very easily avoidable.”

“Shut up. What’s your biggest irrational fear?”

“Getting lost in these fields.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m a city girl. Don’t get me wrong. I love it out here, but I’m terrified of being in the fields alone at night. I snuck out once because I thought it would be magical. It was not. I got turned around and started freaking out.”

“How is that irrational if it’s actually happened?”

“The whole fear is getting lost in the fields, no one finding me, freezing to death and then all they find is my rotting corpse in the spring.”

“Got it.”

“Rational fear?” she asked him.

He was silent.

“No rational fears for the good doctor?”

“Too many probably,” he admitted. “I’m just trying to find the right words… I’m going to go with my constant overwhelming fear of not being good enough.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said. She could tell he was serious though, so she didn’t let herself laugh. She simply couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Wish I was,” he whispered.

“Not good enough for what? You’re amazing.”

“Look, I know it sounds a little crazy, and I know that there are a lot of things I’m good at, but… is there anywhere in your life you feel completely out of your depth, like no matter what you do and no matter who tells you otherwise you will never be good enough for this thing?”

“Yes,” she whispered as she stared at him though the dark.

“So, I don’t know,” he continued quietly, “Maybe it isn’t rational, but to me it is very real and very debilitating.”

“You have no idea how well I understand what you’re feeling.”

After a brief silence, Gilbert said, “Did I hear Marilla saying we have to get the barn cleaned up for something?”

“Yeah, the one by the house, not this old thing.”

“That’s a relief. What’s the occasion?”

“Wedding. They’re a lot of work, but they bring in a ton of money. Alright,” she said after taking a deep breath, “Next question: Do you ever think about getting married?”

“Um… yes. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you don’t really date, I was just wondering if you just didn’t care about that or what. And obviously there are many, **many** interested parties.”

“I’ve just been concentrating on school. That’s all. And I guess I don’t really think about **getting** married so much as **being** married. I don’t care much about the event. But the idea of getting to spend my life with the person I love most? I like the idea of that.”

“Is it always something you’ve wanted?”

“No. I didn’t think about it at all until college and then it just kind of hit me.”

“Like a lamppost?” she joked.

He laughed and looked away from her. Even in the dark, he couldn’t look at her when he said, “ **Exactly** like a lamppost. What about you?”

“Did you ever see the movie _Anastasia_?”

“Yeah.”

“Anastasia said, _‘Yeah, I guess every lonely girl would hope she’s a princess.’_ That’s how I feel about marriage: Every lonely girl would hope to be married someday. It sounds wonderful, but it seems like it’s only a dream, you know? So, I try not to think about it too much, because I guess I don’t really expect it to happen.”

“Why wouldn’t it happen? If it’s something you want then you’ll make it happen. That’s what you’ve done your whole life, isn’t it?”

“Just because I want it doesn’t mean someone will want me, you idiot. Look at my dating history, it’s not like I have a long line of interested people like you do. And I don’t know that I would be a good wife, anyway.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’re a good person so you’ll be a good wife. The end.”

“You know that’s not how it works with some people.”

“Then don’t marry those people!”

“Especially here on the island. So many women are expected to stay home while their husbands go off to work.”

“Anne, all you have to do is marry someone who actually knows you and loves you for who you are. That shouldn’t be too hard. There are plenty of guys looking for a partner, not just someone to keep the house. I don’t really think that’s how it works anymore.”

“I think you overestimate the male population.”

“And I think you underestimate us. You assuming a guy wants a wife to stay home and cook for him is just as bad as a guy assuming that from you. Look at Diana and Jerry. Do you think that’s what Jerry expects from Diana?”

“They’re not getting married, Gil.”

“Not yet…”

Anne looked at him surprised, “Do you know something I don’t know?!”

“I know lots of things you don’t know,” he said arrogantly.

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“I just don’t think you have had very good of examples of healthy and fulfilling relationships while growing up.”

“And you did?”

“No. Not at all. I have no idea what being married actually looks like, but I like to think that it’s up for the people involved to decide, and no one else.”

“I guess that would make sense. It’d be easier if it were a sure thing, though, wouldn’t it? Like if someone said, you’ll meet your husband when you’re thirty, so until then, calm the fuck down and concentrate on other things.”

“I honestly don’t think I’d find too much comfort if someone told me I’d meet my husband when I’m thirty,” he joked, “But I guess life is full of surprises.”

Anne had no idea where she got the courage to suggest this, or even where the idea came from, but she embraced it and said, “One more random question…”

“Are you nervous about something?”

“Yes,” she admitted, “Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not going to be mad unless you remove me from your life again. And you said you wouldn’t do that.”

“I won’t. This is kind of the opposite.”

“Well, I’m intrigued,” he said, trying to keep his voice even and his heartbeat under control.

“Do you want to be each other’s back-up plan? Like however many years down the road, if we are still single, we get married?”

“Are you serious right now?” he asked in disbelief.

“Look, I know it’s not ideal for you. It’s just a backup plan, and we usually get along so well and-”

“No! I- I think it’s a great idea!”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. Do you have an age picked out?”

 _When I’m twenty-two, right after school is done,_ she said to herself. “Not sure, what do you think?”

 _When I’m twenty-four, right after school is done,_ he thought. “Your call, this was your idea. I’m good with whatever.”

“I was thinking thirty. I know it’s earlier than what you see in the movies, but if I, or we, I guess, want to have children we can’t really wait until 40.”

“You sound like you’ve thought this through.”

“I really haven’t, I just think quickly.”

“You forget that I’m older than you though. Me at thirty or you at thirty?”

“Average it out. Me at twenty-nine, you at thirty-one.”

“How about just you at twenty-nine? That happens before I turn thirty-one.”

She couldn’t help but laugh and said, “I highly doubt this will even occur Gilbert, you’ll meet someone and fall in love long before that.”

“Knowing I can marry someone as spectacular as you so soon though? You’ve given me absolutely no incentive to even try to find someone else.”

“That’s kind of you to say,” she said honestly. “Thank you.”

There was a minute of silence while they relished in the agreement and then Gilbert said, “Alright, my last question for you: Do you like the sound of Anne Blythe?”

She loved it, but was grateful he couldn’t see her beaming smile and jokingly asked, “Who says I would change my name? Why the hell shouldn’t you be a Cuthbert?”

He laughed and said, “You can’t seriously be suggesting that my name be Gilbert Cuthbert. You can’t possibly hate me that much.”

She started laughing and said, “Oh god that’s terrible. And yeah, I make back up marriage agreements with only my greatest enemies.”

“Thank you. I really would consider it if it didn’t end in ‘bert,’ but as it is, Gilbert is bad enough.”

“You don’t like your name?”

“My name is Gilbert, Anne. Of course I don’t like it. I sound like I should be 90. What did you say when we met? You thought it sounded like-”

“An old timey sea captain, I think. But I also said it was excellent. It’s unique and it goes with those manners of yours.”

“You seriously make me feel so boring sometimes.”

“I’m sorry to hear that because you are without doubt the most intriguing person I’ve ever met, Gilbert Blythe. And your name suits you. It’s better than boring old Anne.”

“What’s wrong with Anne?”

“It is so blah. I don’t know what my parents were thinking.”

“They probably just knew how special you were and thought they’d give you a normal name in an attempt to give the rest of us a chance to perceive you as human.”

“You are so full of crap,” she said, playfully bumping her shoulder into him and trying to suppress a yawn.

“Feel free to rest, Carrots, I think we’re going to be here for a while.”

They both fell asleep, her head resting on his shoulder and his hand in hers. They woke up hours later and made their way back to Green Gables through the wet fields in the moonless night, each of them suppressing their absolute delight over the agreement they had struck.

***Day 17***

The attic rooms at Green Gables weren’t really in the attic, they were in the gables, which Anne loved. Her room was on the west side of the house and the room Gilbert was using was on the east side with the bathroom centered between the two at the top of the stairs. She loved the character and the hominess of her room. It always felt like the house was hugging her and it also fueled her imagination.

When she had arrived at Green Gables years ago, she took her clothes with her when she showered so she could get dressed right away, but over time she grew more comfortable in the space and realized no one ever came up there. This led to her simply wrapping a towel around herself to get back to her room, or if she were particularly warm after a shower, she would just walk back to her room naked.

These were the first habits to go with the arrival of Gilbert into her living space. Until now, she had been successful in remembering everything she needed and when she left the bathroom he wasn’t ever even around, so everything was working out well. Today, she forgot. She was distracted and then got into the shower without bringing her clothes to the bathroom.

_Not a big deal. I have a towel that covers me just fine for the seven steps to my room. And chances are that he won’t even be up here._

She used her towel to dry her hair a bit then wrapped it around herself before assertively pushing open the door right into Gilbert as he was coming down the hallway, causing him to double over in pain.

“Oh my god Gilbert! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” he gasped.

“You’re not fine! You can’t even breathe! What the hell happened?”

“Door knob… terrible location…”

She looked down at Gilbert in a ball on the floor and put it all together.

“I’m so sorry!!! Can I do anything to help?”

“No, it’ll pass, just go… please.”

She took much longer to get dressed than necessary in an effort to not see Gilbert still writhing in pain from her assault. When she did emerge, she saw his door was shut and assumed he was recuperating in there.

He sauntered downstairs fifteen minutes later and she couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Anne. I’m fine. Let it go.”

“I’m so embarrassed.”

“Because you opened a door? Pretty stupid thing to be embarrassed about.”

“Gilbert you were writhing.”

“No, I wasn’t. I went fetal. Very common reaction. I thought you were supposed to have a good vocabulary.”

“Seriously though, are you okay?”

“Yep.”

“Do you need to go to the doctor?”

“No! Anne! This happens to guys all the time. It’s just how it is. It’s just anatomy. Can we be done with this now?”

“Fine.”

“Just maybe, open the door slower?”

“I’ll try, but it’s hard to change habits. You should just be happy that I don’t walk back to my room naked like I usually do. All my brainpower is going into that right now. I can’t be expected to remember everything.”

“Then I’d much rather you forget the towel! Come on Anne, use your brain!”

***Day 18***

“Gilbert, these pancakes are amazing. I thought you couldn’t cook!”

“I can make pancakes. And now thanks to you, I can even cook a bit.”

“These aren’t even normal pancakes though, they’re special somehow.”

“I added cinnamon. That’s my big fancy secret ingredient. Diana loves them. We used to always do brinner and they were always her favorite.”

“Smart girl.”

“She keeps asking me to make them for her.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Because she always asks for them after she spends the night with Jerry.”

“And you don’t want to be associated with that in any way. I got you.”

“Great, now if you could please explain that to her, I’d really appreciate it.”

“You wuss. Are you scared of Diana?”

“Physically? No. I think I could take her. But she has a more effective form of torture for me than physical abuse.”

“She **is** talented like that,” Anne agreed. “It was really nice of you to make breakfast. Thank you, Gilbert.”

“Any time, Carrots.”

***Day 19***

“Gilbert!” she said as she rushed into his room.

“Anne!” he said in mockery.

“I just saw that we are actually supposed to be able to see the northern lights tonight! Some massive solar storm or something.”

“That’s actually pretty cool. Do you want to go watch them?”

“Hell yes I do! Prime viewing time is between 10 and midnight. We’ll leave at 9:30. It’s going to be a bit of a walk.”

“To the sky?”

“I have the best idea for a viewing spot.”

***

“A tree?” he said when they had arrived at Anne’s final destination.

“A dead tree, so there’s no leaves in the way.”

“That’s incredibly unsafe, and I doubt getting a few meters into the air is going to make the view that much better.”

“It’s fine. I climb it all the time. And where is your sense of adventure?”

“That is incredibly unsafe,” he repeated himself. “And I weigh substantially more than you.”

“Are you scared, apple boy?”

“Are you taunting me, Carrots?”

“You know how you have a feel for some things sometimes? I can feel it Gilbert, I can feel where the wood is strong. I know it’s crazy, but I have a lot of experience climbing trees. I would never ask you to do something if I thought there was a chance you could get hurt. So, do you trust me?”

“I do.”

“Then climb.”

They climbed the tree and each found comfortable spots to sit near the top as they watched the northern lights dance in the distance. She described to him how she viewed them and told him myths regarding what various cultures believed the northern lights to be before science explained away the magic.

“I’ve seen many things, my friend. But you’re right. Nothing’s quite as wonderful as the things you see.”

“Did you just quote Doctor Who to me?”

“What can I say, I couldn’t find the words. It just… you seem to find so much more beauty in things than I can.”

“Is this scene not beautiful?”

“It’s breathtaking, but everything you’ve added to the moment makes it so much better.”

***Day 20***

“What are we doing today?” Gilbert asked. “Anything special you need help with?”

“Buckle up, Gil, we need to make 300 plum puffs for the wedding tomorrow.”

“Three hundred?! I promise you that I am not who you want helping with this!”

“Too bad. You’re who I’ve got,” Marilla responded. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you an easy job.”

The process was pretty simple and eventually Marilla felt confident enough to leave the task to Anne and Gilbert and attend to other matters. Gilbert eventually became quite competent at his job and then started poking fun at Anne for taking so long with her much more complicated part of the process. This was a mistake that resulted in Anne throwing flour into his face.

He wiped it off best he could and said, “Seriously?”

“Know your audience, Gil. You should have seen that coming.”

“And you expect no retaliation?”

“No, I do. Just curious to see what you come up with.”

He finished the water he was drinking and took note of what she was wearing. She was pretty much covered in flour already and was wearing athletic shorts, a sports bra and a tank top. He smiled mischievously to himself as Anne continued working. He walked over to her reached across the table and before she knew what was happening, he had dropped an ice cube down the front of her bra.

She screamed at the cold, fished it out and threw it at him. He deflected it while laughing.

“You are going to regret that.”

“I don’t think I will,” he said cheekily.

“Let’s just finish this up so we can be done in here please?”

“Hey, I’ve been done, I’m just waiting on you.”

“Then start cleaning up.”

He did as he was told and the kitchen was in pretty good shape when he went to put away the leftover butter.

Anne saw him and said, “No, you can leave that stick of butter out. I need that. Is it soft?”

“Yeah,” he said as he poked it. “It’s pretty squishy.”

“Thanks, can you bring it to me?”

“Here you go. What’s it for?”

“This,” she said as she unwrapped it, divided it in two and smeared half down each one of his arms.

“Anne Shirley what are you doing?” Marilla asked as she entered the room. She was trying to sound disappointed, but a laugh escaped.

“Nothing, Marilla,” Anne said quickly. “I’m just going to go out and collect the eggs now,” she said as she ran out the door.

Marilla stood there looking at Gilbert, waiting for his response and wasn’t at all surprised when al he did was stand there and chuckle.

“Here,” she said, handing him the leftover plum mixture. “Go get her.”

He scooped it up into his hand and ran out the door after her.

Marilla went quickly to the window and arrived in time to watch Gilbert surprise Anne, chase her around the yard for just few seconds, then wrap his left arm around her from behind and spread the plum through her hair as she weakly protested through her laughter.

***Day 21***

Gilbert climbed the stairs up to the loft and found Anne watching the wedding dance.

“Do you always come up here and just watch the party?”

“No, but it’s an easy way to check to see how things are going. The best man just hit on the maid of honor. She is not having it. The bride’s parents are completely in love and so proud of their daughter and son-in-law. The groom’s parents are making a valiant effort to not start yelling at each other, but I think that dam is about to crack,” she explained to him and then said softly, “It’s going to be weird without you here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I got used to having you around.”

Rainbow Connection started playing and Anne laughed and asked, “Did you request this?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Come on,” he said as he held out his had to her. “Let’s see if you remember what to do.”

They waltzed for a while, but eventually fell into a simple dance of mostly swaying.

“Our friendship is a bit unusual, isn’t it? I mean, I’m no expert, but this is different,” Anne said softly.

“Yeah, it’s different. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone about the back-up plan.”

“Agreed.”

They danced for the entirety of the song and kept moving closer together until they both felt Gilbert’s phone buzz in his pocket.

He answered the call and said, “Yeah. You’re here? Great. I’ll be right out.”

“Let me walk you out, I’d like to say hi to Charlie.”

They went slowly down the steps, neither eager for Gilbert’s departure.

“Hi Anne,” Charlie said. “Nice dress.”

“Thanks Charlie, good to see you.”

“So are you going to come out to the orchard for a few weeks then?”

“The Cuthbert’s need me here, so I don’t think that’s going to be happening. We should all try and get together once Diana is back though.”

“Sounds great. Good to see you,” Charlie said and he handed Gilbert his keys and got in the car.

“Please call if you guys need more help. Or if you’re bored?” he asked hopefully.

“You heard Marilla; you’re welcome to come here whenever. I expect that you will be trying to get caught up on the orchard though.”

“They’re just trees, they’ll be fine.”

“He said about his livelihood that produces the money so he can go to school,” she said as she laughed.

“That’s a good point,” he admitted and a silence hung between them until he finally said, “I… I really don’t know what to say… this shouldn’t be this hard.”

She walked into him and hugged him as tightly as she could and he wrapped his arms around her.

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered. “Let me know when you get home.”

“I’ll miss you too, and I will. Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Thank you for coming,” she said and then she needed to walk away. “I’m sorry, I need to get back in there. Seriously, let me know when you get back.”

“Bye Carrots,” he said quietly as he watched her walked away.

She spun around, offered him a bright smile and a small wave, then turned to go to the barn.

Gilbert got into his car and rested his head on the steering wheel with a loud sigh.

“So…” Charlie began.

“I don’t know if I should thank you or murder you, but if you hadn’t called when you did, I think I would have kissed her.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was there for three weeks; I can’t blame my failure on you. We’ll get there,” he said, starting the car.

“How was it?”

“Amazing.”

***

Gilbert dropped off Charlie, drove home, stormed into his house and yelled, “Bash! Call Rachel and see if she can babysit! We’re going out!”

Bash got into the room and said, “First of all, welcome home. And Rachel already has Delphine, I needed to work all day. What’s up?”

“Anne said she’d marry me! Technically I’m just her back up plan, but it was her idea and it counts, so we are going out.”

“Hell yeah we’re going out!” he cheered. “Though I am going to need all sorts of explanations from you.”

“That’s why we’re going out,” Gilbert explained.

They drove to the bar and sat down at a table where Gilbert relayed every minute of his visit to Green Gables over a pitcher of beer.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for you, but how are you not together yet?” Sebastian said when Gilbert concluded the retelling.

“I don’t know,” Gilbert admitted, having a moment of drunken clarity. “It didn’t seem that ridiculous as I was living it, but looking back at it, I’ll admit that it’s possible that she might like me sometimes.”

“Wow,” Sebastian said, “I think you are as bad at reading her as you said she was at reading you.

“Well, we are pretty similar, so that checks out.”

“Blythe?” a woman walking by politely interrupted them.

“Stacy!” Gilbert said excitedly. “How are you?”

“I’m doing really well, you?”

“I’m great! Sebastian, this is one of my teachers from high school, Miss Stacy; Miss Stacy, this is my brother, Sebastian LaCroix.”

“Brother?”

“Kind of,” he shrugged. “In all the ways that matter anyway.”

“You address each other with only your last names?” Sebastian asked for clarification. “Is that normal this for teachers and students here?”

“I’m Muriel,” she said, offering her hand to him, “Gilbert and I bonded over our dislike for our antiquated names. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sebastian.”

“Please, call me Bash,” he said, with the most genuine smile Gilbert had seen on his face since Mary had been alive.

*******Back to the Bonfire*******

There was silence as Bash concluded his story. Few of them had previously known the extent of Gilbert’s visit to Green Gables. Most of them knew he went, a few of them knew the length of the visit, and Diana, Charlie and Cole knew a few of the details, but only Sebastian knew the whole story and eventually Muriel had come to know it as well.

Anne and Gilbert looked around the circle awaiting any sort of reaction and got nothing, so Gilbert hesitantly asked, “So… any questions?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea the process of heart attacks and stents and how long it takes. Just go with it.
> 
> My apologies for using miles. In my defense, in the first episode of AWAE Matthew says, “Pretty near home. Just another mile or so.” So even though I knew that miles were the wrong unit of measurement, I took advantage of this opportunity and did the wrong thing anyway.
> 
> “Then how can I leave.” Is slightly stolen from Doctor Who.
> 
> This is what inspired Anne’s tattoo: https://www.entertainmentmesh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/hummingbird-tattoo-watercolor.jpg 
> 
> Day 5- Anne and Gilbert are talking about an old cartoon- Tom and Jerry. I expect this to be a worldwide thing, but if it isn’t, then now you know.
> 
> Day 6-In America, ground level usually is the same thing as the first level. Green Gables has a basement, first level (where you enter), second level, and then Anne and Gilbert are on the third level.
> 
> Day 12- Some restaurants, typically somewhat divey bar/restaurants, have free popcorn here. I don't expect that to be a worldwide thing, but I needed it here.
> 
> Day 18- Brinner=breakfast for dinner.
> 
> Let me know if you have any other questions.


	12. Sometimes it’s Hard to Tell the Difference Between Love and a Medical Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert forget how to take care of themselves and Moody and Gilbert perform at a coffee house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the songs Moody and Gilbert perform. The versions of the songs in parenthesis are on youtube and will provide an example of how I hear them sounding in my head. I couldn't find acoustic versions of them all that fit the sound I was looking for, so use your imaginations.  
> Still Fighting It – Ben Folds  
> When you were young – The Killers  
> Just Breathe – Pearl Jam (Live at Austin City Limits)  
> Tell Her – Del Amitri  
> Another Heart Calls – The All-American Rejects  
> Everlong – Foo Fighters (Boyce Avenue Acoustic Cover)  
> Still Into You – Paramore (Gareth Bush Cover)  
> The Gambler – Fun (Bing Lounge)  
> My paper heart – All American Rejects  
> Hands Down – Dashboard Confessional

“You fuckers.”

The group gasped. It took a lot to get Ruby to swear.

“We’re mad at us too, Rubes, but we can’t change what happened,” Anne said.

“I’m not mad,” Ruby responded. “I’m just disappointed.”

“Have you discussed your past stupidity since getting together?” Josie asked.

“Yes. Again, it’s frustrating, but we can’t change it. And we’re happy now, and we were happy as friends, honestly. Besides the constant physical yearning for each other, our friendship was and continues to be immensely satisfying,” Anne explained.

“So… Marilla, Matthew and Sebastian all had it figured out but you two still refused to listen to anyone?” Jerry asked.

“And everyone,” Diana added.

“What can we say except that we’re slow and blind and apparently afraid of our dreams coming true,” Gilbert admitted.

“Anne, what about the text? He told you he loved you,” Diana asked.

“Yeah, he did. And then I decided it was probably just a friend thing and then Matthew had a freaking heart attack and I honestly forgot all about it because Gilbert was suddenly there and that’s all I could think about.”

“Yeah, he was there because he loved you,” Sebastian said. “He biked twenty miles to see you because he loved you and perhaps the clearest point of them all: he told you he loved you, because he loved you.”

“Bash- she’s got it,” Gilbert said with a laugh.

“And you!” Sebastian yelled. “No one makes a back up plan with someone who is only a friend! And has anyone here fallen asleep holding hands with their friends?” He looked around the circle, “No? Didn’t think so. And the bikini, Anne, were you trying to kill him?”

“I would never try to kill him. But I wanted him to see the tattoo! And I thought I looked good in it. Was that so wrong?”

“God no! There was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Seeing you take off that t-shirt is **still** one of the best moments of my life.”

“Oh my god,” Anne said, hiding her face in her hands, slightly embarrassed.

“And the near kiss?” asked Charlie.

“It’s not like we were actually leaning in, Charlie. We were dancing, very closely, but it was just a thought and a feeling. I doubt Anne even noticed.”

“All I noticed was that I sure as hell was about to kiss him. You didn’t notice that?”

“Not at all,” Gilbert said with a smile.

“But all that flirting. Seriously. What the hell?” Cole asked.

“It just became part of our relationship,” Gilbert explained. “We acknowledged our relationship was a little different, and that was part of it.”

Cole continued, “None of us saw the flirting. Or at least I didn’t, and I generally pick up on these things.”

“You saw what we wanted you to see. We had nagging coming at us from both sides and we didn’t want to make it worse. And it never felt like flirting between us, not really. It was just honesty and it came so naturally. What you all saw was more of an act of suppression of natural behavior than anything else.”

“I agree. We didn’t discuss it, but I think we were much more comfortable around each other when none of you fools were around to make fun of us.”

“With how close you guys got when you stayed over, how did it not become more sooner? What happened over the rest of the summer?” Moody asked.

“Nothing,” Anne and Gilbert responded together.

“We talked, of course,” Anne continued, “Almost every day. But we weren’t able to see each other again until we got back to school. Marilla got the flu and was laid up for a couple weeks and with Matthew still recovering, I was swamped with keeping Green Gables running.”

“And we had this insect problem at the orchard that summer. Bash and I were working fifteen-hour days to treat all the trees and Rachel Lynde practically moved into our house to help take care of Dellie. By the time we got on top of things, there were only a couple days of summer left.”

“And then fall semester was awful. For everyone here, right?” Anne looked around and saw nodding heads. “There just wasn’t any time for **anything**. You guys didn’t even play at any parties that semester. Gil and I still studied together on Fridays, but it was hard core studying and often ended in us literally falling asleep in our books.”

“Probably while holding hands, you fuckers,” Ruby interrupted. “I’m sorry. But you guys are both so stupid.”

“Plus,” Anne said, glaring at Ruby, “I was student teaching and Gilbert’s course load was crazy between all the labs and observations or whatever it was he was doing and he was also studying for the MCAT. So, everything was just on hold until after he took that damn test.”

“But you were so close!” Diana whined.

“And that’s why we didn’t tell anyone,” Gilbert said. “That’s why **I** didn’t say anything, anyway.”

“No, I agree. I couldn’t fess up to all that had happened knowing that in the end nothing had really changed.”

“And the backup plan. Seriously. What story doesn’t end with those two characters falling in love before the plan kicks in?” Josie said.

“Not this one,” smiled Anne.

“Yeah, I was kind of hoping we’d follow suit there,” Gilbert laughed.

“I’ll be honest,” Cole said, “I totally thought that story was going to end with at least a steamy make-out session.”

“But it didn’t. And we told you it wouldn’t. And like I could have or would have wanted to keep that a secret.”

“He’s right,” said Charlie. “They didn’t waste much time revealing their relationship once it finally happened.”

“Now **that** was a good day,” said Jerry, laughing, “I wish you all could have seen Diana, she completely lost her shit.”

“Jerry cried!” Diana yelled out. “Bawled like his mother at our wedding!”

“Moody pretty much hyperventilated as we watched the proposal. And I almost peed my pants,” Ruby admitted. “I didn’t! But I don’t think I have ever been that excited or surprised.”

“We can go over the reveals later, but I’m curious who’s next?” Anne asked. “Jane, Muriel or Ruby?”

“Jane,” answered Sebastian.

“Yay! My turn! Well, you’re all pretty well aware that I’m a little newer to the group than most of you lifers,” she started. Then she explained to Sebastian and Muriel, “I knew of most of them throughout school, but we didn’t really get close until junior year. And the first time we really hung out together outside of school was at that acoustic night that Gilbert and Moody did after that semester from hell. And I agree with Anne. It was absolutely awful. I think I blocked most of it out.”

Anne thought for a minute. “Do you know any of the back story to that at all?”

“Not much. I know Gilbert was mad at Diana and in the end it was you who convinced him to do it.”

“Please, it took no convincing at all!” Diana yelled. “He argued about it with me and Moody all day, Anne walked through the room, told him to do it and then he did. Absolutely no work was done there!”

“Sounds about right,” Gilbert said and they all laughed.

“So, I think we should start by telling you about the night after Gilbert took the MCAT,” Anne suggested.

“Because tonight is all about showcasing my failures?” he asked jokingly.

“ **Our** failures, my love,” she said, laughing.

“And this was when Anne and Diana were living in the tiny house next to Cole’s, so you guys were neighbors too,” Jane added.

“And then Jerry, Moody and Charlie were living with Gilbert and Cole?” Muriel asked for clarification.

“Yeah,” Gilbert responded.

“So we’ll start with the MCAT, and then we will get into Jerry and Diana’s proposal, the acoustic night and-”

“And teaching Jerry how to dance!” Gilbert said with a smile.

“We don’t need to go over that. All you guys need to know is that it’s awkward as hell being told by Gilbert to act like you’re in love with Anne while he watches you dance with her.”

“Aw, are you scared of me Jerry?”

“Scared? No. Just appropriately aware of what you’d be willing to do for Anne. And that definitely includes punching people for overstepping.”

“Fortunately, it’s never come to that. Anne is the puncher in this relationship and we all know the result of overstepping her boundaries thanks to Roy.”

********February, Junior Year********

“Gilbert?” Anne asked after knocking on his door. “Are you in there?”

She heard a muffled “Ungh” in reply.

“Can I come in?”

“Um…” he said as he propped himself up on his elbows trying to figure out what was happening. He blinked his eyes hard to clear the fog and tried to see through the darkness. He looked around his room to make sure it was clean. It wasn’t. He gave up, fell back down on his stomach and said, “Yeah, just don’t judge me, it’s gross in here.”

She walked in, turned on the light, found him face down on his bed and her breath caught in her throat.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“I didn’t know there was a dress code in my bed, my apologies,” he said in good humor, his mood instantly elevated by her presence. “I got home and wanted to change but I only had energy enough to get my pants on. Then I fell over and fell asleep. I think. What time is it?”

“Almost seven.”

“Yeah, I fell asleep. Count yourself lucky, usually I’m wearing quite a bit less.”

Anne bit her lip, imagining a situation where she walked in on him wearing ‘quite a bit less’ and said, “I think we have different definitions of lucky. You’ve seen just about all of me, you could at least have the decency to return the favor.”

“That was dangerously close to admitting you find me attractive, Anne. Watch yourself- you’re slipping.”

“Must be the exhaustion. Sorry if I woke you,” she apologized. She sat down on his bed, leaned against the wall and brought her legs up next to him and asked, “How did the test go?”

“I think okay. Guess I’ll know in a month.”

“I have never seen you look this terrible.”

“Wow, you are just brutal,” he said laughing. “If it helps, I feel terrible too. Want to monopolize on that? Really knock me down a peg or two?”

“No, it doesn’t help! Gil, you’ve been a zombie for months, and I know we’ve both been so busy, but I’m worried about you.”

“I just need to sleep.”

“And eat. You look emaciated; I can see your ribs.”

“I eat plenty. This is just the way I look. You just don’t ever see me shirtless and stretched out in exhaustion on my bed.”

She bit her lip then mumbled, “I’d take more of it if you’re offering.”

“I’m sorry did you say something?” he asked. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Have you been taking care of yourself at all?”

“No, I haven’t. Have you been taking care of yourself? You’re looking rather thin yourself and you’re wearing more makeup than usual. You don’t usually wear makeup at all on Saturdays so I assume it’s to cover up the circles under your eyes and I’m sorry, but it’s not working. You need to sleep and eat as well.”

She laughed, “Well, you’re usually the one to remind me of these things and I have barely seen you in the last… gosh Gilbert. It’s been months!”

“I know, I’m-”

“Don’t apologize for studying. Last semester sucked, but I was hoping since you’re done with that test that we could maybe get back to normal now. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything?”

He propped himself up on his elbows and winced in pain.

“No, I don’t think so, but I’m happy you’re here. I’ve missed you,” he said before collapsing back onto the bed. “Ugh, Anne, even looking as sick as you do, you’re still so pretty it hurts.”

She laughed and said, “Well, you’re officially delirious with exhaustion to the point where you are saying crazy things. And why do you keep grimacing every time you move?”

“Because my shoulders hurt. It’s where I carry stress. I just need to sleep and it’ll work itself out.”

“Or **I** could work it out for you. I just asked if there was anything I could do for you and you said no, because you don’t let other people do things for you. Even when they explicitly offer. I can actually help you; I have hands and they are really fucking strong.”

“Anne, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do. Do you have a lotion you prefer or do you want to smell like me?”

“Do I have a lotion I prefer?” he asked with a laugh. “No. I’m a twenty-three-year-old guy with all-in-one shampoo conditioner and body wash; I don’t have a lotion I prefer.”

“Oh Gil, this is the most disappointed in you I’ve ever been,” she said. “But it’s also very funny.”

“I used to have proper products, but I ran out of time to care. Regardless, I definitely want to smell like you. What am I signing up for though? What am I going to smell like?”

“What do you think I usually smell like?”

“I don’t know, good?”

“So is your lack of creativity with that description due to the fact that you are a twenty-three-year-old guy with all-in-one shampoo conditioner and body wash or the fact that you are pre-med and lacking imagination?”

“Ouch. That was some first-rate stereotyping, Anne. And I’ll have you know I have imagined things that even you couldn’t believe.”

“You stereotyped yourself first and I was joking. What do you imagine that is so audacious?”

“Just… things. What do you smell like? You didn’t say.”

“Lately, I smell like Sunshine Melody,” she said, holding up the bottle she took out of her purse so he could see.

“What the hell is a sunshine melody?”

“It just says wrap yourself in warm sunshine and wildflowers.”

“You’re telling me they are claiming to have bottled the smell of sunshine? What does that even mean?”

“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t make it! I’m just reading what it says.”

“Well, you **are** sunshine and flowers, so what the hell. Bring it on.”

She straddled him and sat down on his butt and he coughed.

“A little warning would’ve been nice,” he said, trying to keep his breathing even, shocked by the sudden contact.

“Sorry, is this not okay? Diana and I do this all the time.”

“It’s great, I mean fine, just unexpected. Ah!” he yelled as she dribbled the cold lotion across his back. “As was that. Holy shit is that made of ice?”

She laughed, “Nope, but it sure is fun to watch you squirm. It’s just because you’re hot.”

She felt him laugh below her, “Shut it, you know I meant temperature-wise. Just a warning, it has been brought to my attention and should come as no surprise to you that I tend to be a bit aggressive, so if I hurt you, please say something. My goal is to help you, not bruise you. Though Diana is fairly confident I am out to kill her when I give her a massage.”

“Do your worst. Maybe it’ll help you to know that whenever Di gave me a massage in high school, I could barely feel it because she was too gent-ahhh. Oh my god, Carrots, why haven’t we done this before?”

“You like that?” she asked with a confidence she didn’t feel.

“If this is your attempt to kill me, I beg you to do it every day for the rest of our lives,” he didn’t even care that it sounded a little like a proposal. _This is pure unadulterated bliss_.

“I’m glad you think it feels good.”

“You’ll need to find a new word to describe how good this feels. My simple pre-med brain doesn’t seem to have the capacity to adequately describe this feeling. But ‘good’ isn’t nearly enough.”

As her fingers trailed down his sides, she discovered he was ticklish and he squirmed beneath her for a moment before relaxing as her thumbs pressed along each side of his spine on their way back to his shoulders. She hadn’t thought this through. She didn’t think about what it would feel like to be sitting on top of him. She didn’t think about how her body would respond to covering him in lotion and feeling the definition of his muscles under his surprisingly soft skin. She silently cursed her naïveté and tried as quietly as possible to take some deep breaths.

She had only wanted to make him feel better, really. Right? Now she wasn’t so sure. She thought she had acted completely selflessly, but she wondered if there was part of her brain, or her body rather, that was going after more than she was aware of. Sitting on Gilbert was not at all like sitting on Diana and as she thought about it now, she shouldn’t have been surprised at the effect it had on her, but she was, and she couldn’t stop her mind from wondering if he’d be interested in a chest massage as well. _Anything to get you to flip over._

“So?” he interrupted her thoughts.

“I’m sorry? So what?” she asked, her voice unnaturally high.

“A word, Carrots, I’m waiting for you to give me a word that describes how good this feels.”

“Tranquil?”

“Not even close,” he said with a laugh.

“Fantastic?”

“Meh… not enough.”

“Wonderful, blissful, amazing?”

“Those aren’t exactly the fancy words I was expecting from you.”

“I’m not you, Gil, I can’t tell you what you’re feeling.” _And I can’t fucking concentrate. If my life depended on forming a coherent thought right now, I would die._

“Me neither. I think what I’m feeling is ineffable,” he said quietly and then added with a whisper, “And illuminating.”

“If it is ineffable for you, then how do you expect me to make it effable?”

“Because you are the most effable person I know.”

“Are you saying **I’m** easily describable, I have the ability to describe things well or that I’m fuckable?”

“Anne!” he exclaimed and he started laughing.

“What? I’m just saying what it sounds like.” _And if I could think properly, there’s no way that would have come out of my mouth. Fuck._

“I would never call someone ‘fuckable;’ you should know that. I was trying to say that you have the ability to describe things more eloquently than most people. But that was before I heard you refer to yourself as ‘fuckable.’ So now I’m rethinking my entire existence.”

“I referred to myself as no such thing. I was simply seeking clarification. And I have the mouth of a drunk sailor. **You** should know **that**.”

“Yes, I should. We clearly haven’t been spending enough time together.”

“Clearly. Here is your warning: I’m going to put more lotion on you.”

“Thanks, I’m ready.”

This time it was less jarring, but he still flinched slightly at the cold. As the scent surrounded him, he relaxed completely into the unexpected silence that settled between them. A sense of calm overcame him that he hadn’t felt since the previous summer when he was at Green Gables. In that seemingly insignificant moment, in that tiny, rented room, surrounded by the mess left behind by a busy schedule while being sat on by his best friend, he felt more comfortable than he had in a long, long time. _I haven’t felt this whole since before dad died,_ he realized _._ He choked up a bit at the realization and sniffed.

“Is the smell bothering you?” she asked.

“No, not at all. It’s like… it smells like home,” he said softly, almost to himself.

“Do you mean it smells like the orchard? I guess that makes sense.”

“No. That’s not what I mean,” he confessed. _Shit. When did she become my home?_ _How is her presence more comforting to me than the place I grew up? I have to tell her,_ he thought. _She’s my best friend, and I love her. Why shouldn’t I say something? If it were me, I would at least want to know. Everything she is doing right now is driving me absolutely insane, I can’t be imagining this!_

“Anne, I need to talk to you about something,” the words left his mouth before he had a chance to figure out what he was going to say.

She froze on top of him, terrified at the sudden announcement, and said, “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

“No, Anne, you didn’t. Can you get off of me for a minute?”

She got off of him and he pushed himself up, grabbed a t-shirt, put it on and stood in front of her. She sat on the edge of his bed looking up at him, her face flushed and her eyes wide.

He started pacing back and forth in front of her trying to find the courage to do what needed to be done.

“Gilbert, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?”

She was so nervous. _What did I do? Was the lotion too much? Should I not have sat on him?_

“Nothing is wrong, Anne. Whenever I’m with you nothing is wrong. That’s the point.”

“What’s the point?”

“Anne, I… I think… no. I know that I’m… Um… Okay, do you remember last summer when we were talking and I mentioned that I was afraid I would never be good enough for something? And that my fear surrounding this was completely debilitating?”

“Yes?”

“That is what you’re seeing now. I wasn’t talking about some **thing** ; I was talking about some-”

“Everybody stop whatever you’re doing and get your asses down here!!!” Diana shouted from downstairs. “ **We’re engaged**!!!”

Gilbert and Anne looked at each other with astonishment that quickly turned into exuberance. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his room and down the stairs, their conversation all but forgotten.

***

“You’re engaged?” Anne said in disbelief when she got to the bottom of the stairs.

“For real this time?” Gilbert asked as he ran into the back of her. “Sorry, Carrots.”

“Yes!” Diana exclaimed and showed them her ring. Moody and Charlie were emerging from other parts of the house as well. “I hardly think he could’ve screwed up that badly a second time.”

Jerry wrapped his arms around Diana from behind and said, “You continue to underestimate me. I think I am very capable of screwing up an infinite amount proposals to you.”

Diana laughed and said, “Well, I appreciate your confidence, but luckily we won’t have to find out.”

They received various forms of congratulations and hugs from their friends and then Anne asked, “When is the wedding then? After graduation like you talked about?”

“Um, no, actually. We discussed it with our parents and we will be getting married this July.”

“In five months?!” Anne yelled at them.

“Yes. I have family visiting from France this summer. We would like them to attend, but they can’t afford the trip two years in a row,” Jerry explained.

“And Aunt Jo isn’t doing great. I personally believe she is going to outlive us all, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

Anne pulled Diana aside and asked, “Aren’t you guys super young to be getting married?”

Diana whispered back, “Haven’t you been in love with someone an awful long time to still be single?”

“Ow Diana! Sick burn!”

Gilbert looked at Anne, concerned, and she signaled for him not to worry about it.

“Look guys,” Diana said, addressing the group, “I know we are young and I know it’s quick, but it’s what we want and it works for us. And putting it off for a year just to put it off doesn’t seem like much of a reason. And Anne, if Jerry moves in with us, your rent goes down.”

“Alright everyone! Let’s have a wedding!” Anne said enthusiastically and everyone laughed at her change in tone. “And I didn’t mean to sound like I thought it was a bad idea, I honestly just don’t understand how you are going to plan a wedding in that short amount of time. And how are you going to get a dress or a venue? I overheard someone say the other day that the big venues have, like, a two-year waiting list!”

“We will be getting married at Aunt Jo’s. She has more than enough room. And she has connections for getting me a dress. I’d happily buy something off the rack, but I’m sure that won’t fly with my mother.”

“Damn straight it won’t,” Gilbert said. “What did Eliza have to say about all this?”

“Eliza and William have graciously acknowledged that I am free to marry whomever I wish. Though they were surprised to hear the news.”

“Well, that’s better than I expected.”

“Yeah, me too,” Diana admitted. “Also, you all will obviously be in the wedding.”

There was polite appreciation for the honor, but all of them were thinking only about how expensive it would be to be in this wedding.

“And,” Diana continued, “Since this is a Barry wedding, your dresses and tuxes will be paid for by my family and you can stay at Aunt Jo’s for the night.”

“Holy shit! Really?” Anne exclaimed.

“That’s a relief,” Moody admitted, “Alright, now I’m properly excited. Yay weddings!”

“Yay weddings?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah- my wedding experience is limited. What should I say instead?”

“How about… hold on,” Gilbert said as he ran to the kitchen and shuffled things around before returning. “Sorry, this is all we have,” he said as he handed everyone a can of beer. Gilbert raised his into the air and said, “To Jerry, whose constant display of love and devotion for Diana is something we all aspire to someday be able to convey to the women we love and to Diana, who has so kindly lowered her standards to accept you as her husband.”

Diana hit him and the group laughed.

Gilbert continued, “Totally joking, Jerry. I will admit there is a part of me that will always believe that no guy is good enough for Diana, but when I see you two together, I have no trouble telling that voice inside my head to shut the hell up. You are both amazing people who are even better together; anyone can see that. And I’m so glad that Anne and I so selflessly thought to introduce you to each other.”

“Selflessly, my ass,” said Diana.

“To Jerry and Diana!” Anne said, and they all raised their drinks.

***

They spent some time together celebrating and Diana couldn’t help but notice that Gilbert was uncharacteristically quiet. She also noticed that he chose to sit on the ground, even though there was an open spot on the couch next to Anne. After they finished their drinks, Anne and Diana went upstairs to look at dresses on Gilbert’s computer.

“Does Gilbert seem off to you tonight?” Diana asked.

“A bit maybe? He’s really tired and I think that’s making him come across a bit odd. I thought the toast was really nice though.”

“No, the toast was great. Perfect actually. I wonder how long he’s been planning that.”

“Well, he mentioned last summer that Jerry had talked about proposing, so probably since then. Gilbert likes to be prepared.”

Diana laughed and said, “Yeah, you two share that.”

“That we do. Oh! And we were hanging out and right before you got back, he said he needed to talk to me about something and he looked really nervous.”

“Oh my god.”

“What? Is he okay? Diana! What’s going on?”

Diana ran out of the room, went to find Gilbert downstairs with the guys, took his hand and pulled him away from the others.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Gilbert’s hand went to the back of his neck, a nervous tick leftover from childhood, and he asked, “What did she say?”

“That you needed to talk to her about something and you seemed nervous. You were going to tell her.”

“Yeah. I was trying anyway, but it wasn’t going great. I should probably thank you for stopping me.”

“I’m sorry, Gilbert. Really. You know I would have waited if I had known. Damn it. I would have done anything… I can’t believe I-”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It was just bad timing. That’s it, I know that’s it. But I was so close. So, so close. Fuck, Diana.”

“So, go up and tell her.”

“On the night **you** got engaged? Hell no!”

“Why not? That could be my engagement present!”

“No, Diana. This is **your** night. Go up and spend it with your friend.”

“Just don’t give up. Please. Just go for it. Tomorrow. Hell, just ask her to marry you and then we can have a double wedding!”

He laughed and said, “You’re suggesting I tell her I love her **and** propose in one night? Are you crazy?”

“What?” she laughed. “It could work!”

“I think that would be kind of a lot to handle, don’t you?”

“If anyone could handle it, it’s Anne.”

“Go, Diana. Go look at dresses. Enjoy the night.”

“I’m so sorry, Gil,” she said, suddenly on the verge of tears.

“Diana, stop. I’ve had years to tell her. It can wait another day.”

“But will it be just one day?”

“I don’t know Di. I have no idea.”

***

Hours later, Jerry, Diana and Anne all left and went back next door.

Anne was burning with curiosity over what Gilbert was going to tell her, especially after Diana ran out of the room after being informed of their conversation. When they were about to leave she asked, “Oh wait, Gilbert, is there something you wanted to tell me?”

“Yeah. But it can wait,” he said. “Now’s not the time.”

“Are you sure? It seemed important.”

“It was. It **is**. But it can wait. It’ll be just as true tomorrow as it is tonight as it was two years ago.”

“You’re not making me any less curious,” she said with a smile.

“Have a good night, Anne.”

***

Gilbert hadn’t seen Anne in five days, which was fine because he was so embarrassed; he couldn’t believe he almost told her he was in love with her. He kept thinking about the look on her face as she sat there staring up at him and she looked terrified, like she knew what he was about to say and didn’t want to hear it. At the time he thought she had a right to know, but now he was thinking he had absolutely no right to change their relationship.

“Hey,” Moody said as he sat down next to Gilbert on the couch. “Cole told his coffee house friends that we play and they want us for an acoustic thing on Tuesday.”

“No,” Gilbert said, without taking his eyes off the TV.

“No discussion at all? Just no?”

“Just no.”

“Gil, come on, why not?”

“I’m busy.”

“I would be more convinced if you weren’t sitting here watching TV on a Thursday afternoon.”

“I think this is the first time I’ve watched TV all year. I’m supposed to be in class, but my professor has bronchitis and can’t speak. I hate to relish in the misfortune of others but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to enjoy this. I’m exhausted. All the time, Moody and I just can’t even think anymore. And believe it or not, we are not a real band, we can’t just pick up and play whatever and whenever. At least I can’t. We are just four guys, three of whom are extremely talented musicians and newsflash: I am not one of them. The beauty of playing loudly for a bunch of drunk people is that we end up sounding a lot better than we actually are. There is safety in the loud noises and drunk ears. Acoustic at a coffee house? That is just asking for criticism.”

“You know you can sing well, and that is all you will have to do. I’ll play guitar for you. Charlie and Jerry have and evening class on Tuesdays, so they’re out.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Cole said they need to know by Saturday. We’d get a fee plus tips if that helps any.”

“You know it does,” Gilbert admitted.

***

“You have to do it!” Diana encouraged him as they sat in her living room that night. “It’s been so long since I’ve actually heard you sing, like, nicely, you know?”

“Thanks for that…” he said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure that I do.”

“Like, the tone for singing with just guitar and piano is a lot different than with the whole group. It reminds me of when we were kids and you would sing while working in the orchard.”

“I seem to remember you sang with me, so why don’t you sing on Tuesday? You are just as capable as I am, if not more so.”

“I may play better, but you definitely sing better. But if I joined you for one song, would you do it then?”

“Probably not.”

“Gilbert!” she whined, “It’s been so long since you’ve played piano while singing! It makes you look so dreamy. Please do it!”

Gilbert raised his eyebrows at her, “Dreamy?”

“So dreamy, Gil, you have no idea.”

“Why on earth do you want to see me look dreamy, woman who is engaged to one of my best friends and essentially my sister?”

“It’s not for me! Do it for the ladies!” she laughed.

“Because I’m all about soliciting attention from random women?”

“No. Just one, and she is definitely not random.”

“She’s not like that. You know that. She isn’t going to swoon just because I sit down at a piano.”

“She’s remarkable, Gil, but she's still just a girl with normal reactions to seeing a hot guy sing.”

“She doesn’t think I’m hot, Di.”

Diana laughed loudly for a long time. When she finally calmed down she said, “You are a stupid, stupid boy.”

“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Anne asked as she walked into the room.

“Fuck,” Gilbert said, knowing even if she hadn’t heard them talking, his fate was sealed and come Tuesday, he and Moody would be singing with just piano and guitar in that stupid coffee house.

“Anne, is there anything more attractive than a guy singing and playing piano?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I need to share my personal fantasies. Though it can’t be denied that a guy singing and playing the piano is a sight to behold. What’s up?”

“Gilbert and Moody have been asked to do this acoustic thing at the coffee house and Gilbert doesn’t want to do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m busy and I’m not really good enough to do something that exposed.”

“And I take it Diana and Moody both want you to do it?”

Gilbert rolled his eyes in affirmation, figuring that maybe if he didn’t look directly at her, he wouldn’t be talked in to doing this.

“We’ve been trying to convince him all day. We all know he can sing; he is more than capable on piano and Moody can do nothing wrong on a guitar. I have even offered to sing with him for one song **and** as an added bonus, Gil, I will come up with a set list for you so you don’t have to worry about it or spend the time. I know your skill level and what you like to play and I’ll try to pick songs I know you’ve played before. Anne, just tell him he should do it, he’ll listen to you.”

“Just do it, Gilbert. You’re too stressed out; you need to take a break,” she said, and then went to go put on her pajamas.

Gilbert turned to Diana and whispered, “That is not fair, you know I can’t say no to her!”

“That sounds like your problem, not mine. But I will drop the acoustic night if you go into her room right now and tell her that you are in love with her.”

“Diana, she came in and only said like fifty words. And you heard how formally she was speaking- ‘a sight to behold?’ That’s how she talks when she is trying to be polite but is fuming on the inside. She’s in a terrible mood and needs to be left alone right now.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh yeah?” he laughed. “I dare you to go try and chat with her about the wedding. See how it goes.”

“No thank you.”

“Told you.”

***

Friday night, Anne practically fell through the door to her house, soaked and shaking from the cold.

“Fucking freak storm,” she said to herself as she threw her bags down on the floor. “It’s fucking February! Why the fuck is it storming! It should be snowing! Not raining. I have never been this fucking pissed at the weather. Guarantee you if I had just brought the fucking umbrella like Diana fucking suggested, I bet this stupid fucking storm would never have fucking happened. Damn it!

“And it was such a nice day! I had faith in you, sun! You were shining so gloriously! I didn’t even wear a coat- that’s how much I believed in you! It was warm enough for just a sweater and I was so excited that spring might be coming early! And then it shifted. And what a betrayal it was. We are talking Frodo keeping the ring for himself levels of devastation here. Because obviously my week wasn’t already full of enough shit and the fucking universe decided to really drive it home and release a fucking torrent of glacial sleet and now I’m fucking soaked and fucking freezing and agghhhhh! Stupid fucking double knot. What am I six? Tie your shoes like an adult you idiot!”

She finally got her shoes off, followed by her socks and sweater and left them in a pile by the door then stripped off her t-shirt as she went through the living room on her way to her bedroom.

“Anne?” she heard Gilbert’s voice from across the room and she froze. “I hate to stop you, because I like where this is going, but I thought I should probably let you know that I’m already here.”

She sighed and said, “Of course you are.”

She was standing in front of him, her t-shirt up, covering her head, hiding her blush but giving him a very clear view of her chest in what thankfully was a very cute light blue bra. She took a minute to decide if it would be better to continue to take the shirt off or pull it back down. She was properly cold and not willing to be chilled further by her soaked shirt so she continued removing it.

“So… how was your day?” he asked, trying not to smile.

“Fuck it,” she said. “Fuck everything. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Right?” She threw the sopping shirt on the floor. “What the fuck does it even matter? Nothing matters! I’m so fucking sick of everything. I am burned the fuck out. Did you know that? You’re here, so that means that it’s Friday, right? Yeah. Must be. I think yesterday was Thursday. Gah- I’m so fucking thirsty.”

She walked back to the kitchen in her bra and jeans and got a beer.

“Hey, Gil, remember when I didn’t like beer? Watch this-” she said and she chugged the entire thing in one go. She crushed the can in her hand and threw it on the floor with her shirt. “I lied. I still don’t really like it. Whatever. And I used to be so clean and organized, do you remember that? Oh my god remember my room freshman year? It was immaculate. It was so fucking pristine. And look how the mighty have fallen! Here I am, straight up throwing garbage on the floor. And that’s not even the grossest thing. I haven’t showered since Tuesday night. Yeah, you heard that right. **Tuesday**. What time is it? 6:30? Okay so that would be…” she counted in her head for a minute. “We are talking sixty-eight fucking hours since I’ve showered. And want to know what I ate today? Let’s see. I had a beer just now, so technically that’s liquid bread. And I had a bagel. Just a plain fucking bagel. Mother fucker, Gilbert, how the hell am I still standing? How am I still a functioning human person?” She burped as politely as possible and said, “Okay, so functioning is debatable. Ugh, I’m disgusting. You don’t need to stay, Gil, I know this isn’t what you signed up for,” she said as she walked out of the room and then said to herself, “No one would ever choose this, Anne. And it is becoming increasingly obvious why no one has.”

She left him alone and speechless in the living room and he heard her walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. He knew it would be a long one. Between how cold she was and how frustrated she was, he figured he had about forty-five minutes, plus wallowing in her room after the shower and getting dressed, that got him about an hour. He could do a lot with an hour.

He walked to his house, got the rotisserie chicken he had bought to get himself through the weekend, went back to Anne’s and got to work, knowing that Diana kept the fridge stocked with plenty of fresh vegetables. He looked up a recipe for chicken and vegetable soup, made a couple of substitutions and had a fairly decent product in about a half hour.

When she got out of the shower, he was back on the couch, reading and waiting for her. He heard her go to her room and when she came back out she looked at him and said, “You’re still here…”

“Why would I leave? **You** are what I signed up for; all of you. Come on, you need to eat.”

He led her to the kitchen and she started crying, or rather, continued the crying that she had started in the shower.

“You made soup for me!” she cried out in disbelief.

“Anne, eat.”

“You are so nice,” she sobbed.

“You need to eat,” he said as he filled a bowl and handed it to her.

She took it from him, set it down and hugged him as tightly as she could. He rubbed circles on her back and rested his chin on the top of her head. He couldn’t remember the last time he had hugged her. _Have I really not hugged her since school started? That’s way too long._

“I think I need to remind you that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s okay to get mad and it’s okay to skip showering,” he said with a laugh, “But it’s not okay that you think I would leave because you’ve had a bad day and it is definitely not okay to think that I’m someone who only signed up for part of you. I’ve waited almost a week to spend time with you and you aren’t getting rid of me that easily. And tonight, you need to let me take care of you and not question whether or not you are worth my time. Can you do that?”

He felt her nod and he kissed the top of her head. If the action surprised her, she didn’t let on, so he took that to mean it was okay.

“Also, you may think you’re gross, but seeing you chugging a beer, soaking wet in a bra is one of the hottest things that has ever happened. And yes, I do feel bad saying that because I know you were absolutely miserable, but you need to know: You are **not** gross. I don’t even see a path to get to gross from what I saw.”

He felt her laugh against him and was relieved the comment didn’t offend her.

“Now, let’s eat. And then I believe I owe you a back rub. Do you want to talk about anything or do you just want to watch something on TV and forget your problems?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. But didn’t you come here to study? Isn’t that what we do?”

“Not tonight. We both need a break. I am also burned the fuck out. So, I propose we be normal for a night. Stop studying and have a drink, talk, watch TV, whatever you want. Do you want to stay in or go out?”

She looked outside, “The sky is still spitting shit. I’m not leaving this house.”

“Stay in it is. Want a martini?”

“A fruity martini?”

“Only the fruitiest for you. Can you take our bowls and pick out something to watch? I’ll be there in a minute.”

She went into the living room and considered her options, finally deciding to put her DVD of Anastasia on.

“Sweet,” Gilbert said as he sat down next to her and handed her the drink, “I haven’t seen this in years.”

“You like this movie?”

“Do you think I have no soul? I love this movie. What’s not to like? You’ve got a self-sufficient, spunky redhead know-it-all, a classic smart ass cool guy who thinks he knows what he is doing but is instantly in way over his head and of course is going to fall in love with her, because who wouldn’t, I mean look at her…” he paused for a moment, realizing he was kind of describing his relationship with Anne, then cleared his throat and said, “And you’ve got Bartok. Comedic relief of the highest caliber, to um, cut the tension,” he concluded, leaning back and eating his soup, trying to pretend he didn’t just say all of that.

They watched the movie, finished their soup and chatted about their favorite parts and other parts they had forgotten about. Anne finished her first martini and asked for a second and they split some leftover cake Anne had bought earlier that week to celebrate Diana and Jerry’s engagement.

They were about half-way through the movie when Anne threw back the rest of her drink and asked, “Gilbert, I gotta know, what is it with you and redheads? You’ve got Anya/Anastasia here, and I assume you are the friend of Diana’s who was obsessed with Ariel and then when we met Diana accused you of just picking a redhead and sitting down with her to see what happens? And then there’s Amy on Doctor Who too… and you prefer Anna to Elsa as well! What is the deal?”

“First of all, Anna is the hero of that story, Anyone who prefers Elsa is out of their freaking mind.”

“Anna’s judgement was terrible! She got engaged to someone she just met!”

“And she worked until she found a way to make things right and sacrificed herself to do so. Admirable.”

“Fine. Anna is better. But redheads are like, a thing for you.”

“Not necessarily. Winnie was blonde and I thought she was pretty.”

“Gilbert.”

He thought for a minute, trying not to answer her question and then said “Your names all start with A too, so that’s pretty interesting. Anna, Amy, Anastastia/Anya, Ariel and Anne. What are the odds?”

“Deflecting.”

“I don’t know- okay? Besides the fact that red hair is so strikingly beautiful in a sea of brown and blonde, I don’t know what it is that draws me in so entirely besides the fact that I’m intrigued by the truly unique.”

“Intrigued by an oddity…” she said, disappointed. “Sounds about right.”

“It’s about more than hair color, Anne. Look, I don’t think it’s hair color that decides a personality, but there are personality traits that I find admirable that I have found to be consistently present in women with red hair. Fictional or otherwise.”

“Fiery temper?”

“Passionate,” he corrected her.

“Aggressive and curt?”

“Powerful and honest.”

“Stubborn and witch-like?”

“Loyal, clever and resourceful,” he said and then laughed. “Fine. You are stubborn as hell, but so am I, so it works.”

A silence settled between them as she thought about what he had said and they continued watching the movie.

After a few minutes, Gilbert added, “Anne, do you know how many people in the world have red hair and blue eyes? Only .17%. You will always stand out, not just to me, but to everyone. The math doesn’t lie. It would do you a world of good if you could embrace it instead of letting it make you feel odd. Did you want a back rub? Sorry, I forgot all about it.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

He sat up on the couch and she moved to sit on the ground between his legs. She wasn’t sure how long he rubbed her shoulders, but when she woke up, she was leaning against his leg with her head resting on his knee. She looked back at him and was about to wake him up, but instead, went to grab a blanket and laid down next to him with her head on his lap and her hand on his knee. They both slept better that night than they had all year.

***

The next morning, Gilbert awoke first, looked around and smiled. Then he looked at the time and groaned. If he wanted to get in a run this morning, he needed to get going. He really didn’t want to leave, but he also didn’t want to risk any awkwardness when she woke up. On the other hand, he knew he couldn’t just leave without saying anything either.

He maneuvered Anne’s head off of him as gently as possible, provided a cushion for her, stood up and stretched, then crouched down in front of her.

“Anne?”

“Mmhmm?” she said without opening her eyes.

“I need to go if I’m going to have enough time to run this morning.”

“M’kay.”

“Do you want to come with me?”

Her eyes shot open and she said, “Hell no. Take your crazy ideas and get the fuck out of here.”

He laughed, tousled her hair, got up and walked away saying, “That’s my girl.”

***

Saturday afternoon, Moody and Gilbert spent a couple hours going over the music and Gilbert was pissed. He walked over to Anne and Diana’s house, knocked once, let himself in and found them sitting in the dining room doing homework.

“Diana Josephine Barry.”

“Gilbert John Blythe.”

“What the hell are you trying to do to me?”

Diana smiled politely at him and said, “Whatever do you mean, Mr. Blythe?”

“I disapprove of the songs you picked for Moody and me to play on Friday.”

“Then you should have done it yourself. They are fantastic songs that bring me back to elementary school. Maybe junior high. And I’ll have you know I put a considerable amount of effort into their selection. I was going for nostalgia and I think people will enjoy them. That’s all.”

“You’re full of crap. They all make me sound like a whining, pining idiot and I’m not stupid enough to believe that wasn’t your exact intention.”

“They aren’t all whining, pining songs. And my offer stands. You say what needs to be said and I will drop it.”

“And we’re now at blackmail. Real classy, Diana. Tell me, is that the kind of confession of love you would like to receive? Hey girl, I wouldn’t normally have the guts to tell you I love you, but this is the only way I can get out of playing at the coffee house.”

“You surprise me, speaking so boldly right now, considering,” she said, looking toward Anne to make a point.

“Please, I know she can’t hear us, she probably doesn’t even realize I’m here. Look at her eyebrows. She’s clearly editing something and she can’t do that without listening to music. I would bet it’s piano music- probably Brian Crain,” he said and then spoke louder, “Anne… **Anne**!”

She looked up, startled and smiled, “Oh, hi Gil, how are you? Did you sleep okay? Sorry, I didn’t wake you up and send you home.”

“I’m okay,” he said with a pleasant smile. “And I slept great. You?”

“Never better.”

“What are you doing?”

“Editing a paper for one of my English classes.”

“And what are you listening to?”

“Brian Crain.”

“Thank you, I was just trying to prove a point. Sorry to interrupt.”

“You look pissed. Anything I can help with?”

“Yeah, Gil, anything she can help with?” Diana teased.

“Unfortunately, no. Diana is just being a smart ass.”

“Nothing new then?” Anne said with a laugh.

“Nothing new. You said you can’t come on Tuesday night, right?”

“Right. Sorry, I know it’s lame but that’s the only time my study group could meet up. I might be able to come if everything goes well, but I’ll be pretty late.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gilbert said and looked at Diana with a victorious grin. “You won’t be missing anything, just some of Diana’s favorite songs from her childhood.”

“I really wish I could be there, sorry,” she apologized and then looked at the scowl on Diana’s face. “Am I missing something?”

“Yeah, Diana,” Gilbert laughed, “Is she missing something?”

Diana stood up and looked Gilbert in the eye and said, “You know what? No, I don’t think she will. I’ll make sure she doesn’t miss a damn thing.”

***

“Are you actually nervous?” Moody asked Gilbert as they got ready to play.

“Yeah, a bit, aren’t you?”

“No. I know what I’m doing and I know you know what you’re doing. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Though I find it amusing that no one has less confidence in you than you.”

“You’re right, this is stupid. It’s no big deal. We’ll just play and then it’ll be done. I think part of it is that I’m just not used to singing without having a drink first. It’s weird.”

“Gilbert, you’re talented. Just play and sing. No one is expecting perfection except you.”

“Alright, let’s get it done then,” he said, and he sat down to play.

Diana was right, they weren’t all whining, pining songs. He wasn’t sure why she picked _Still Fighting It_ by Ben Folds. Diana wasn’t mean, not intentionally anyway, so he expected she didn’t think twice about it being a father’s words to his son about the pain of growing up. The line that affected him most was, _“And you’re so much like me, I’m sorry.”_ Increasingly over the years, people spoke of how much Gilbert was like his father, in appearance, in mannerisms, in everything. Gilbert wasn’t usually upset by hearing it, until he thought about it and remembered that his dad died alone, not having had the courage to trust that loving someone would make his death easier, not harder. And now, every day he was struggling with his own lack of courage regarding telling Anne how he felt. It was a beautiful song though; he couldn’t deny that. As he neared the end, he couldn’t help but think of the possibility of maybe having his own children someday, and he saw a little boy with brown hair and blue eyes and a little girl with red hair and hazel eyes. _Oh,_ he thought, _that’s why she picked it._

They played _When You Were Young_ by The Killers next. Diana knew this was a song Gilbert thoroughly enjoyed singing, even though he struggled to understand the exact meaning of the lyrics.

Life had been good to Gilbert, even with all he had been through, he considered himself lucky, but there were times when he felt like there were forces in the universe acting against him, like now, for instance, when instead of not coming or arriving really late, Anne suddenly appeared, nearly on time. He watched her cross the room to the empty spot next to Diana as he sang, _“Can we climb this mountain, I don’t know. Higher now than ever before. I know we can make it if we take it slow. Let’s take it easy, easy now, watch it go.”_

He was hoping that no one noticed how his eyes followed her across the room or how he smiled when she arrived. Part of him didn’t want her there, simply because of the content of the songs and the fact that he doubted he could stop himself from singing directly to her. But her presence gave him peace and just having her there gave him the confidence that he didn’t have before.

“You made it!” Diana said quietly to Anne as she sat down.

“Well, you didn’t really give me much choice, did you? How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing okay, just not well enough to sing, obviously. The hot tea is helping my throat a bit though.”

The guys finished the song and as the patrons clapped Moody looked at him and asked, “You gonna be okay?”

Gilbert pushed his mic away, sighed and said, “Yeah. I mean, if she hasn’t figured it out by now, I doubt a couple lyrics are going to make a difference, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. Just try not to look at her, I don’t want you getting lost.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “At least you’re aware of the danger, she’s like a freaking Siren for me. Go ahead and start whenever you’re ready.”

Moody began the intro to _Just Breathe_ by Pearl Jam while Gilbert took a drink of water, moved the mic back in front of his face and waited to come in.

This song had the ability to make him rather emotional, so he tried not to think too much about the lyrics, or the cover Willie Nelson did of this song with his son that made him tear up and think of his dad. No, he couldn’t think of that, so he focused on delivering the lines he was sure Diana was waiting to hear, _“Stay with me, you’re all I see. Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn’t then I’m a fool you see, no one knows this more than me.”_

He could have sworn he heard Diana laugh after the line and it took enormous restraint to not flick her off across the room. The second time he sang the line, he was sure to glare at her and she stared back, biting her lips together and trying not to laugh.

“This is so much fun,” Diana whispered to Ruby across the table _._

“So you picked all these songs out with Anne in mind?” Ruby whispered back.

“Yeah, just bit. I thought it would be interesting.”

“He looks pissed.”

“Worth it.”

Diana made sure to cheer as loudly as her throat let her at the end to let Gilbert know she was undeterred by his glare.

“You ready for this next one?” Moddy asked him quietly.

“Shit. I forgot we were playing this.”

“I don’t think you forgot,” he said, laughing. “I think you blocked it out.”

Gilbert had no one to blame but himself. Diana never would have watched every episode of Scrubs if not for him, and if she hadn’t, she never would have heard this song and now he wouldn’t be sitting here in front of the woman he was in love with trying not to sing this to her.

“It’ll be fine. I mean, she’s given no indication of leaving, so at least there’s that, right?”

“True, but everything else is pretty much spot on.”

“You going to start playing any time Moods or just keep talking?”

Moody laughed and began the song and noticed Anne’s head snap to attention. Apparently she knew it.

Gilbert sang _Tell Her This_ by Del Amitri while Moody added in the vocal harmonies and the room was captivated.

_“Tell her not to go, I ain't holding on no more. Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time. Tell her not to cry, I just got scared, that's all. Tell her I'll be by her side; all she has to do is call. Tell her the chips are down, I drank too much and shouted it aloud. Tell her something in my heart needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd. Tell her what was wrong, I sometimes think too much but say nothing at all. Tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall. Tell her not to go, I ain't holding on no more. Tell her nothing if not this: all I want to do is kiss her. Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time.”_

The room erupted with applause and Gilbert nodded in appreciation, said thank you, and called Diana up to join them.

“Anne!” Jane kicked her gently under the table, “Anne! You need to… are you drooling?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re drooling.”

“What? I couldn’t possibly be.”

Diana wiped Anne’s chin near the corner of her mouth, laughed and said, “I think you are, sweetie.”

“Oh my god, if any of you ever speak of this again, I will kill you. If anyone asks, I was just thirsty.”

Jane laughed, “Oh, I have absolutely no trouble believing that. You just need a big ol’ cup of Gilbert Blythe.”

“Shut it, Jane,” Anne hissed and tried to collect herself.

“Anne, we need to go up now,” Diana said with a raspy voice.

“Oh right, yeah.”

Gilbert looked confused as Anne approached him with Diana.

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t be mad,” Diana said. “Anne is going to sing with you, because as you can tell, I’m in no condition to speak much less sing.”

“Obviously,” Gilbert said flatly. “You don’t need to do this, Anne, we can just skip the song. I thought you couldn’t even come.”

“Well, Diana mentioned you were playing to the study group and apparently they all wanted to hear you sing so my schedule miraculously cleared up. And I can sing with you, it’s cool, I love this song and as long as you’re not doing anything weird to it, it should be okay. My voice isn’t as strong as Diana’s, but whatever. It’s just for fun, right?”

“Right…” he said eyeing Diana.

Diana smiled politely, then turned around and walked away.

The plan had been for Diana to just sit next to him on the piano bench because the platform they were on was tiny, but as soon as Anne sat down next to him and he breathed in the scent of her he wished they had a different solution. Luckily, the song wasn’t really an accurate description of their relationship, but sitting with her, sharing a mic and singing, _‘I’ll never ask for anyone but you’_ back and forth was not something Gilbert had prepared himself for that evening.

He adjusted the bench he was sitting on so she would have a bit more room and said, “Sit? We’ll have to share the mic too. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I have zero preference on the matter,” she said and sat down next to him on what she was very certain had to be the smallest bench in the country. Anne was just barely holding it together. She wasn’t used to this; they didn’t sit this close in public, they barely even touched in front of other people if they could help it. She had kind of told the truth, she loved _Another Heart Calls_ by The All-American Rejects, and she knew it well, but she didn’t want to be up there. She didn’t like being the center of attention and she didn’t want to mess everything up, but Diana was sick and had told Anne that Gilbert really wanted to sing this song, and she didn’t want him to be disappointed. She found it strange that he didn’t seem at all regretful about offering to cut the song, but she could hardly get into that now.

Since they were facing the same direction, it wasn’t too hard to avoid eye contact and they eventually relaxed into it and had a lot of fun singing together. After all, it was just a song, right? Anne particularly liked when Gilbert sang, _“I’m sorry,”_ and she smiled when she got to respond with _“So what?”_ He continued singing and when the apology repeated itself, he laughed as she sang, _“I don’t care, you were never there.”_

Anne decided to take a chance and look at him as they finished the song together, singing, _“_ _But I know what you want is to figure it out_ _, and God knows I do too. What can I do? Say it's true, I'll never ask for anyone but you.”_

When they finished the song, the room applauded and Moody announced they were going to take a brief break. Technically it had been part of the plan all along, by Moody could tell it was no longer an option for Gilbert; he was going to need a minute.

“Do you think that was okay?” Anne asked Gilbert.

“You were great, Anne, but really, we just could have cut the song. I could tell you were uncomfortable when you came up here.”

“But Diana said you really wanted to sing that song and I didn’t want you to miss out!”

“Anne, I loved singing with you, and I’m so happy that you joined me, but Diana lied to you. I like the song just fine, but she picked out all the music tonight and we were only doing that song because she said she would sing with me as part of the deal to get me to do this at all.”

“Well, that’s interesting…” Anne said, trying to control her temper.

“Don’t be too mad at her. We had fun, didn’t we? I’m sorry you were tricked to get up here, and I promise I would have said something if I knew what she was doing. Fuck,” he said suddenly.

“What?”

“I just thought of something. You head on back. I’ll be over in a minute to talk to Miss Barry.”

When Anne got back to the table, she sat back down to Diana’s enthusiastic and knowing smile, Ruby’s continued applause and Jane asking her, “How long have you and Gilbert been dating?”

“We aren’t together,” Anne explained, her annoyance at the question apparent.

“But they should be,” Ruby said.

“And they essentially are, in every way except one,” Diana added.

“Diana, I know you lied to me to get me up there and I don’t appreciate it.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“He’s my best friend! Do you think we don’t talk to each other? Just please give me a minute, I don’t want to yell at you.”

They sat in uncomfortable silence until Gilbert came up to the table.

“Gilbert! You and Moody sound great!” Jane exclaimed.

He smiled and said, “Thanks, Jane. It’s good to see you. Diana, a word?”

“Not now, we can talk after okay?” she said quietly, hoping to get him to let the topic go, especially since Anne was already upset with her.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Gilbert. It’s just a sore throat. Leave it be.”

“If you did what I think you did, I’m going to be pissed.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Dammit Diana! Why would you do that? It’s not worth it!”

Diana stared at him and yelled with her strained voiced, “It’s worth **everything**! How do you not agree?”

He clenched his jaw and said, “Do you expect me to thank you then? This is not your business, Diana! And the fact that you… You know what? You’re right. We’ll talk later.”

Gilbert walked away, unable and unwilling to argue with her right now.

“What was that about?” Ruby asked.

“No big deal, just some ancient history, he’ll get over it. God, I hate when he’s mad at me,” Diana admitted.

“What did you do?” Anne asked.

“I screwed up. Let’s move on, shall we?”

“Be honest guys, did I sound okay?” Anne asked.

“You sounded fantastic, Anne,” Ruby said. “And together, really it was an amazing performance. Jane, what made you assume Gilbert and Anne were together?”

“If I were to reduce it to just one thing, I would say because he looks at her like I look at chocolate cake. And **that** is true love, ladies.”

The girls laughed, even Anne who, though she disagreed, loved the comparison.

“You’re seeing things,” Anne said. “He isn’t in love with me.”

“Anne, sorry, I know you’re mad at me, but you are not seeing what is in front of you,” said Diana.

“It should come as no surprise that I’m unable to see what isn’t there. Since I’ve known him, his behavior toward me has not changed. He’s been a relentlessly loyal and amazing friend, but if he grew to love me over time, wouldn’t that be reflected in his behavior?”

“Not if he’s been in love with you the entire time!”

“You are actually insane, Diana. That doesn’t happen in real life.”

They heard Moody begin playing and the noise throughout the shop died down as everyone listened to them sing _Everlong_ by the Foo Fighters. Gilbert wondered if Diana had orchestrated Anne singing with him only to make the lyrics of this song more poignant.

_“Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong. Tonight, I throw myself into, and out of the red, out of her head, she sang. Come down and waste away with me. Down with me. Slow, how you wanted it to be. I'm over my head. Out of her head, she sang. And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever be this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you, you've got to promise not to stop when I say when, she sang._

_“Breathe out, so I can breathe you in, hold you in. And now, I know you've always been out of your head. Out of my head, I sang.  
And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again.  
The only thing I'll ever ask of you: you've got to promise not to stop when I say when, she sang._

_And I wonder: If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I'll ever ask of you. You've got to promise not to stop when I say when.”_

Anne didn’t look at her friends until she made sure there wasn’t saliva streaming down her chin, but she couldn’t as easily hide how captivated she was.

“No one here can fault your taste, Anne,” Jane said. “He’s… well, he’s impressive,” she concluded, fanning herself.

“Well, he’s single and available, maybe you should go for it,” Anne teased, knowing Jane would never go after someone she was interested in.

“Please,” she laughed. “He is single but he is in no way available! He is entirely yours.”

“You got that right,” Diana said.

“One hundred percent,” Ruby added.

“No he isn’t!” Anne said. “Please drop it and stop tempting me with something that isn’t true! Do you think it is easy for me to sit here listening to him sing love songs? It isn’t, alright? It is really, really hard. And your comments aren’t helping. Just please, stop.”

Anne got up and went to order a drink. After she picked it up, she didn’t return to her table right away, and instead leaned against a wall in the back to take a moment for herself. Gilbert and Moody were set up near the entrance. She had a perfect view of Gilbert from where she was standing, but the distance seemed to help her calm down a bit. She took a sip of coffee and realized what the real problem was. Usually when he was performing, she was able to drink alcohol, which helped her deal with the onslaught of emotions. But here she was stuck with a stimulant instead of a sedative. _Fucking coffee house. Never again, universe. You will never trap me like this again._

Gilbert generally tried not to make eye contact when he was singing. Especially love songs. He didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, or scare Anne with the right idea, but it was going to be hard not to look at her as he sang _Still Into You_ by Paramore. He had done well so far but didn’t see his resolve lasting much longer. Whenever they were in the same room, all he wanted to do was stare at her, he couldn’t help himself, she was just so beautiful.

He wasn’t playing piano on this one, so he took the mic off the stand, hoping it would give him a distraction. The first couple verses were easy enough to ignore because it was about an established relationship, but the song got him toward the end. He let his eyes roam the room and connected with hers a couple times as he sang, _“_ _Some things just, some things just make sense and one of those is you and I. Some things just, some things just make sense and even after all this time; I'm into you, baby not a day goes by that I'm not into you. I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you. And even baby our worst nights, I'm into you, I'm into you. Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'cause I don't really need to wonder at all. Yeah after all this time, I'm still into you. I’m still into you, I’m still into you.”_

In the back of the shop, Anne practically melted while dreaming that he was singing to her.

As Moody and Gilbert received their applause and cheers, Anne made her way back to her friends.

“Does anyone have any alcohol? I need a drink. Please tell me one of you carries a flask.”

“No, you don’t, Anne,” Diana said quietly. “It’s okay to feel what you are feeling.”

“I feel like I’m drowning, Diana! I can barely breathe, I’m dizzy, I’m sweating, I can feel my heart pounding in my throat and I fucking drooled earlier!”

“That’s love, bitch,” Diana said with a smile and Anne laughed. “Anne, I’m sorry I lied to get you to sing with him earlier, but it’s done. Now relax, here, hold my hand. All we are doing is watching Gilbert and Moody sing a couple songs. That’s it. As much as I want you to go up there and kiss him, no one expects that of you. All you need to do is sit here and listen. And if that is too much, we can go.”

“No. I want to stay.”

“Good. As his future wife, you should be supportive.”

Anne laughed and said, “I seriously question your sanity at times.”

Gilbert had really been looking forward to singing _The Gambler_ by Fun. The piano part was really pretty interesting and he used to play it frequently and had been pleased to discover the muscle memory remained. His favorite part was, _“_ _I swear when I grow up, I won't just buy you a rose_ _. I will buy the flower shop, and you will never be lonely. Even if the sun stopped waking up over the fields I will not leave, I will not leave 'till it's our time. So just take my hand, you know that I will never leave your side,”_ and he looked at Anne unapologetically while singing it. At the time Anne seemed to be lost in her thoughts and didn’t notice, but Diana did and she smiled at him encouragingly.

He flew through the rest of the song and in addition to the applause, he received a confused look from Moody at the end.

Gilbert pushed the mic away and said, “What?”

“You messed up the lyrics,” he said with a laugh. “You **never** mess up lyrics.”

“I did not.”

“Yeah. You did. You changed the father bit to mother. _‘_ _And even though she moved away_ _we always get calls from our daughter. She has eyes just like her **mother's** , they are blue when skies are grey. And just like **her** , she never stops, never takes the day for granted, works for everything that's handed to her, never once complains,’_ It’s supposed to be ‘father’s’ and ‘him.’” Moody explained and looked at him with a knowing smile. “Who you thinking about with blue eyes, Gilby?”

“Oh my god, seriously? I said that?”

“Yeah,” Moody said while laughing.

Gilbert rolled his eyes and said, “Well, here’s hoping people don’t know that song too well,” then brought the mic back in front of him.

“Interesting,” Anne said.

“What?” Jane asked.

“He messed up the lyrics there. It’s supposed to be the father with blue eyes, who works so hard and doesn’t complain, not the mother. He doesn’t usually mess up the lyrics.”

Diana rolled her eyes and said, “No he doesn’t, yet I bet no one here is surprised to hear that.”

Gilbert was dreading singing _My Paper Heart_ by The All-American Rejects. He loved it, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem that it was straight up begging for a girl to become more than a friend and it hit a little too close to home. He found his pitch on the keyboard, nodded to Moody that he was about to begin and started singing, _“Please just don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed. This wait for destiny won't do_ _. Be with me please I beseech you. Simple things, that make you run away. Catch you if I can.”_

Besides the part about old love and moving on from it, it was surprising how accurate this showed Gilbert’s feelings for Anne. He was almost impressed that Diana thought to include it. Almost.

_“Waiting, day to day it goes through. My lips, are sealed for her. My tongue is tied to, a dream of being with you. To settle for less, is not what I prefer.”_

_Though, ‘not what I prefer’ is a bit of an understatement,_ he thought. He tried to stop analyzing the song as he continued and finally reached the end, singing, _“Summertime, the nights they are so long. The leaves fall down, and so do I into the arms of a friend. Winter nights, my bedside is cold, for I am gone, and spring blossoms you to me.”_

He wondered if this could be, if something could maybe shift between them this spring and they would no longer fall into each other as friends, but something more. He looked at her, and unable to understand her expression figured maybe he shouldn’t get his hopes too high.

Gilbert breathed a sigh of relief; he and Moody had finally arrived at the last song of the evening. He thanked everyone for listening and waited for Moody to fix the tuning on his guitar a bit.

The first part of _Hands Down_ by Dashboard Confessional reminded him of most the nights he spent at Green Gables the previous summer, how nothing really happened, but from his perspective, something was always about to. The rest of it, well, it was just a dream, but he could feel it with every bit of him, so he decided to use it to make the performance better. Moody looked at him waiting for his cue. He nodded, indicating he was ready and he began singing as Moody started strumming.

_“Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull. These hearts they race from self-control. Your legs are smooth as they graze mine. We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer._  
  
_“The words are hushed Let's not get busted, just lay entwined here undiscovered. Safe in here from all those stupid questions, “Hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear... So we can get some.”_

Some girls cheered after he sang the line and Gilbert couldn’t help but laugh. Anne scowled.

_“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember. I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. And the streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and I let you in. And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew, that you meant it. That you meant it, that you meant it. And I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.”_

The place erupted with applause and Moody and Gilbert nodded at each other for a job well done.

Anne couldn’t believe the emotion Gilbert was able to convey while singing the last song and was left speechless by the performance. Diana squeezed her hand as a show of support, but thankfully didn’t say anything. She wanted to believe he was looking at her at times throughout the night and dreamed of him singing to her, but his eyes moved around and the best she could figure was that it was all coincidental.

***

They stuck around for a while, waiting for the guys to pack up, but Anne remained quiet as Jane, Ruby and Diana engaged in conversation.

After about ten minutes, Anne was interrupted from her thoughts.

“Anne?”

“Yeah? Oh, hi Roy. How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty well. I didn’t know you sang.”

She laughed and said, “Oh, I don’t. I was just doing that as a favor to Gilbert and Diana.”

“Well, you sounded really great.”

“Thanks. What brought you here tonight?”

“It came up in one of our labs yesterday that Gilbert and Moody were going to be playing tonight. No one heard anything from them last semester so some of us figured we’d come listen.”

“That was nice of you.”

“Breaks up the studying a bit anyway.”

Gilbert had been watching Roy from across the room. Roy wasn’t a bad guy. And really, he seemed to be genuinely interested in Anne, so he had to respect that, or at least find a way to accept it. Roy had asked Gilbert earlier that week if Anne was single, and Gilbert had answered honestly, as he always did. He asked if Anne would be here tonight, and Gilbert answered honestly again. And now Roy was standing in front of her clearly trying to make a move and Gilbert was pissed that he never learned to be a better liar. Gilbert was pleased to find that Anne didn’t look flattered though, she looked annoyed.

“Moody, let’s go talk to the girls,” Gilbert said, and Moody didn’t question him. Gilbert slid into the booth next to Anne and Moody sat down next to Jane.

“I was wondering if, oh hi guys, great job!”

“Thanks Roy, good to see you,” Gilbert said as calmly as possible.

“I’m surprised to see you out here though,” Moody said, “I heard you only really go out to that fancy place downtown.”

“Yeah, my parents own that whole complex, so, classy as it sounds, I kind of grew up at that bar.”

The group laughed at the image and Roy continued, “My friends and I were actually thinking about heading down there if you all are interested in joining us.”

“Diana isn’t feeling well,” Anne said quickly and Gilbert tried to hide his smile at the swift rejection. “And honestly I’m feeling off too, I’ve had a weird day, so I think we’ll have to pass for tonight, but thank you for inviting us.”

“Of course, anyone else? Moody? Ladies?”

Gilbert was quick to notice that he didn’t get an invitation and it actually made him smile. He and Roy were never going to be friends and he was happy to see that he didn’t need to put up a front anymore. Moody, Jane and Ruby agreed to go downtown for a drink to be polite. Anne and Diana helped Gilbert carry the equipment back to his house and then they went over to Anne and Diana’s to hang out for a while. Anne went to change right after they got into the house and as soon as she was out of the room, Gilbert’s mood soured.

“Sit,” he commanded and Diana didn’t object, knowing he was furious.

He crouched down front of her, felt her throat gently with both hands and sighed.

“Diana, why did you do this?”

“To get you two to sing together,” she admitted quietly.

“Effective, but stupid,” he said as he went to get her some water. “I’ll figure it out. You don’t need to eat kale to push us together. It can’t possibly be worth that much to you.”

Diana looked at him, astounded, and said, “Gilbert, your happiness is worth almost everything to me. After everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve done for me and with how amazing you are, you deserve to be happy!”

“I **am** happy, Di, I promise, and I deserve you as well, and I don’t want you to cause yourself pain for my sake. Please.”

“Everything okay?” Anne entered timidly, feeling she was interrupting a moment.

“Everything is fine.”

“I’m allergic to kale, Anne. It’s not severe, but when I eat it, my thyroid swells up and it bothers my throat. I think I accidentally had some kale in my smoothie today.”

Gilbert continued glaring at her, disappointed with how easily she could lie to her friend and then walked into the kitchen to get some water. He came back a moment later and looked at Anne, who was extremely pale.

“Anne you said you were feeling off too, anything I can help with?”

“I… I think I need to sit down.”

He guided her to the couch, they sat down and he asked, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “You sounded really good tonight,” she mumbled, then slumped over and fell asleep.

“Diana! What’s wrong with her?” Gilbert asked alarmed.

“Nothing that I know of, she must just be tired.”

“That’s not tired! She passed out!”

“I don’t know what to say, Gil, she wasn’t drinking.”

“Was she complaining about anything? She said she had a weird day.”

“She said she was feeling lightheaded and dizzy and she couldn’t breathe really well.”

Gilbert looked at her, surprised at her lack of action and said, “And you did nothing?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal! And she didn’t either!”

“And you both thought it was okay for her to walk five blocks, carrying a guitar when she is dizzy and having trouble breathing?”

“We didn’t think it was a medical issue!”

“She said she was having trouble breathing! How is that not a medical issue!”

“I just thought she was overwhelmed by something, alright?! If you think it’s so serious, shouldn’t you maybe do something?”

“Fuck,” he said and he sat down next to her and tried unsuccessfully to wake her. “Call 9-1-1.”

“Seriously?”

Gilbert looked at her with tears steaming down his face and said, “Look at her! What the fuck about this isn’t serious, Diana? Put it on speaker.”

He checked her pulse and her breathing and the operator answered the call.

“What is the nature of your emergency?”

“My friend passed out and we can’t wake her up. Female, 20 years old, generally healthy and no she has not been drinking any alcohol. Her pulse is steady but seems high and she is breathing pretty heavily.”

“Sounds like she fainted. Has this ever happened before?”

“No.”

“Lay her on her back and prop her legs up with a cushion to get her blood flowing back to her head and her heart.”

“Done.”

“What is your name?”

“Gilbert Blythe.”

“Are you alone with her?”

“No, Diana Barry is here as well, her roommate.”

“Good. One of you keep trying to wake her and one of you tell me your address.”

Diana took the phone and answered, “405 Ridgemont Street in Charlottetown.”

“Thank you. Stay on the line.”

A couple minutes passed and the operator asked, “Any progress on the woman?”

“No,” Gilbert said weakly. “Her eyelids fluttered a bit, but nothing besides that.”

“Alright, the ambulance is almost there, I dispatched one just in case this happened. Don’t hang up until the paramedics get there.”

***

“Gilbert! What happened?” Marilla asked as she rushed into the waiting room.

“I don’t know. They won’t tell me anything because I’m not related, all they said is she’s doing okay.”

Marilla took his wrist and went up to the desk, “My name is Marilla Cuthbert, I’m Anne Cuthbert’s mother and I would like to know what has happened to my daughter.”

“Your daughter is recovering well. I will get a doctor to come speak with you.”

“And Gilbert Blythe is to be allowed to come and go as he pleases.”

“That is granted to family members only, ma’am.”

“Gilbert’s father left him in my care when he passed. He **is** family. Now please, let me see my daughter and let him see the woman he loves.”

Gilbert looked at her in surprise and Marilla leaned in and whispered, “Lying is bad Gilbert. Do as I say, not as I do.”

They waited for a few minutes and a doctor entered the waiting room.

“Marilla? Gilbert? I’m Doctor Alyssa Harding. Please follow me.”

They followed her back to Anne’s room and before they entered the doctor turned to them and said, “Before we go in, I want you both to know that it looks much worse than it is. Many of the devices we have monitoring her are just precautionary or lingering from what was needed when we were diagnosing her.”

Gilbert was thankful they had gotten the warning, because it did look bad and Anne looked even worse.

Marilla looked at Anne and said, “She looks so thin.”

“That’s part of the problem. Has Anne ever struggled with an eating disorder?”

“Not while she was living with us. She was in foster care most of her childhood, but nothing we received indicated she had ever suffered from such a thing. Gilbert?”

“No. Generally she eats well. I’m pretty aware of her habits and I can’t think of anything that would indicate that she is making herself sick. We started exercising together last year and she complained about gaining weight for a minute but seemed to calm down when I told her it was just muscle. She’s actually complained more about being scrawny than anything else, so I have a hard time believing she would be trying to lose weight, especially in such an unhealthy manner,” he summarized.

“But…” the doctor led him, sensing he wasn’t quite finished.

“We’ve been swamped with school and neither of us has been taking care of ourselves and she has a habit of just forgetting to eat. Usually I’m around to remind her, but we’ve been so busy that I’ve barely even seen her. Last Friday she was furious that she only had time to eat a bagel and admitted she was surprised she was still standing.”

“Rightly so. And Ms. Cuthbert, you said she is an orphan, so we are lacking some family history, but based on what I’ve heard, we thankfully have nothing to worry about.”

Gilbert glared at her and said, “Nothing to worry about? Are you kidding me?”

“Gilbert, relax,” Marilla said, taking his hand. “Yes, doctor?”

“Anne is anemic, specifically, she has iron deficiency anemia. In short, she’s not getting enough oxygen to her body’s tissues, which causes her to feel tired, weak and in severe cases, like you saw today, Gilbert, pass out. She’s likely had it her whole life, but since she usually gets proper nutrition, she probably never realized it was an issue. Even if she ever has felt weak or dizzy, this was her ‘normal’ and she likely is unaware she shouldn’t feel like that. As soon as she stopped getting the nutrients she needed to keep the symptoms at bay, things clearly went downhill quickly.”

“Why isn’t her body getting enough oxygen though?” Marilla asked.

“The body makes three types of blood cells, white for fighting infection, platelets to help your blood clot and red blood cells to carry oxygen. The red blood cells contain hemoglobin, an iron rich protein that gives the blood its red color.”

Gilbert interrupted speaking quickly, “Hemoglobin enables red blood cells to carry oxygen from her lungs to the other parts of the body. Anne’s body doesn’t have enough red blood cells because blood cells are produced in the bone marrow. And to produce hemoglobin, the bone marrow needs iron, which she isn’t getting enough of. But Doctor Harding, you have her on fluids, I assume you gave her an iron dextran injection and she’s been here for four hours and…” he looked at his phone, “thirty-eight minutes, so why the hell isn’t she awake yet?”

“You must be the Gilbert who Doctor Cleary speaks so highly of.”

“I had him last semester. Is that going to help her wake up?”

The doctor laughed, “Mr. Blythe, she’s fine. Her nutrients have been restored, and as long as she eats like she always has, she will be fine. If she wants to feel even better, she should eat foods high in iron and B-12.”

“So why isn’t she awake?!”

“She’s tired!” the doctor said and then laughed and Marilla did as well. “You’re too close to the patient, Gilbert. Step back and look at the facts. You said she was worn out and not eating properly, what do you expect?”

The doctor went over and moved a chair next to Anne’s bed and said, “Now sit down and hold her hand and be the good boyfriend that you are. You did the right thing by calling 9-1-1. Don’t think for a second it was an overreaction, because it wasn’t, she **was** very sick. But now, she will be fine. And I know this because the look on your face indicates that you will never let this happen again.”

***

Gilbert stayed by her side that night. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t leave, he didn’t look at his phone. All he did was stare at Anne.

She finally woke around five in the morning and the first words out of her mouth were, “What the holy hell did I do now?”

Gilbert sighed with relief and said, “Welcome back, Carrots.”

“Seriously, what the fuck is going on?”

“Cut the language, Marilla will be back with Matthew in a few minutes. Do you want me to call the doctor or explain it to you myself?”

“That depends. You look relieved but pissed. Are you going to yell at me?”

“Not right now.”

“Then explain away, Doctor Blythe.”

He explained what happened and how to prevent it in the future, doing his best not to make her feel bad for not taking better care of herself.

“This is really embarrassing. You had to call 9-1-1 because I forgot to eat?!”

“Kind of, yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “Why didn’t you say anything? Didn’t you think it was weird that you were so dizzy and couldn’t breathe?”

“Yeah! But I thought it was something else!”

He laughed and said, “What else would have caused that, Anne?”

“Nothing I want to share. I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day.”

“I need to call the doctor in now. I told her I would as soon as you woke up. Just a warning: We had to lie a bit to get me back here. Marilla insinuated she adopted me after my dad died, Doctor Harding assumed I was your boyfriend, and I didn’t correct her, sorry, but I wasn’t thinking straight and honestly didn’t care. And the nurse definitely thinks we’re engaged and she reminds me of Nurse Roberts on Scrubs and there’s no way I’m correcting her.”

Anne laughed, “You scared of the nurse, doc?”

“If I learned anything from that show it’s to not piss off the nurses. So hell yes, I’m scared of her. Wait ‘til you meet her though. You’re going to love her.”

***

Anne was discharged a few hours later and Gilbert took her home and made her breakfast.

“Gilbert. Stop. I feel fine. And you need to go to class.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Because school is cancelled when your friend is stupid?”

“I emailed all my professors from the waiting room last night. They don’t expect me back until next Monday.”

“That’s ridiculous. Go to class.”

“I’m not going anywhere. As far as I’m concerned, for the next five days, you just got another roommate.”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit?” she said on a laugh.

“Tell you what, Anne,” he said lowly, “You watch me pass out before your eyes and try to wake me up for ten minutes with no success and tell me I’m overreacting. Ride with me in an ambulance with EMTs rushing around connecting me to various machines as you sit watching helplessly and tell me that I’m overreacting. Try to follow me into the fucking emergency room and get denied information and access because I’m unresponsive and can’t tell them that you’re a significant person in my life and tell me I’m fucking overreacting.”

“Gilbert, I’m sorry, I didn’t consider any of that. From my point of view, all I did was fall asleep for the night.”

“Well from my point of view you were dying so don’t you dare tell me that I’m overreacting. Please. Just this one time, listen to me: Eat your fucking breakfast and get the fuck into bed. I’m not leaving.”

****** **Back to the Bonfire********

“You hyper-controlling prick!” Josie exclaimed.

“Really?” Jane asked, “I thought that was hot as hell.”

“I’m with Josie, that was a little heavy-handed,” Ruby admitted.

“You guys! He thought she was dying! He hadn’t slept and she was treating it as nothing! I think his reaction was completely appropriate. Put yourself in his shoes regarding someone you love, wouldn’t you react the same?” asked Diana.

“I’m surprised he handled it as well as he did honestly,” Jerry said. “I doubt I would have been able to control myself that well.”

“Agreed,” said Charlie and Cole.

“I’m not really a yeller,” Moody admitted, “But I can totally relate to what Gilbert was saying.”

“The only opinion that matters here is Anne’s,” Muriel said. “What did you think?”

“I was… surprised. By everything he said and how emotional he got while saying it. He was almost crying.”

“I was definitely crying.”

“But he wasn’t doing it to be controlling. He was doing it because he cared. Deeply. And it looked like he was as surprised by the depth of his caring as I was. So, I let it go. I ate and I tried to get some rest.”

“And I tried to calm down myself. I know I was walking the line of insanity, trust me.”

“Where did you sleep?” Charlie asked.

Diana said, “On the floor of Anne’s room.”

“Is a lie,” Gilbert said. “I slept with Anne. She said after everything I went through; I couldn’t be expected to sleep on the floor, but I promise it was as platonic as a situation could be.”

“But I saw your pillow and blanket on the floor!”

“Yes, you did. Again, you saw what we wanted you to see.”

“So, the pseudo near death experience didn’t prompt you to confess anything?” Sebastian asked.

“No. After that I had this whole crisis wondering if I should even be a doctor and unfortunately, she had to help me through that.”

“And it wasn’t a small crisis. It was months of reassuring him that it was okay for him to care so deeply and that he had to remember that it wouldn’t always be his best friend in the room. Fortunately, his insanely impressive 524 MCAT score arrived and helped me out in proving my point.”

“What is that out of, 600?” Moody asked.

“528,” Gilbert said flatly. “524 out of 600 would be 88%. You think Anne would call that impressive?”

“Shit, did you just do that math in your head? It’s so easy to forget how smart you are,” Charlie said.

“You’re a bit of an ass sometimes, did you know that?” Moody asked.

“What? Look at him! He just doesn’t look **that** smart!”

“Charlie, stop talking,” Jane said. “I think, what he’s trying to say, is that is rare to be so freaking hot **and** so freaking smart.”

“For the record, I’ve never said Gilbert is hot,” Charlie clarified.

“You don’t need to dear, we can see it in your eyes,” Jane said and the group laughed.

“I still can’t believe that you didn’t yell at him for talking to you like that Anne,” Josie admitted. “It seems so unlike you.”

“What can I say, even back then part of me knew, when Gilbert Blythe tells you to get the fuck into bed, believe me, it is in your best interest to get the fuck into bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts:  
> -Anne going to the ER wasn't part of the plan at all until about two hours ago. (The ending I had previously was so bad that I couldn't even read it.)  
> -The kale/thyroid thing IS actually a real problem that I have. I don’t know if it’s an allergy or what, but when I eat kale it hurts to swallow later that day and lasts for about 12 hours. I don’t know what to tell you except that I don’t eat kale anymore.  
> -I'm fully aware that any medical information in here could be incorrect. Sorry if I'm way off base with something, I am not in medicine.
> 
> Have a very happy new year everyone!


	13. You Two Have Lost All Credibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert spend some time together after returning from the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know what to write next, so I took a request and now you get a bonus chapter. It is pretty fluffy and a little fun. Definitely not much plot but with this slow burn, I'm not sure that there ever really is.

“Yeah, you’re going to need to tell us about those nights because after all we’ve heard, I don’t believe for even a second they were completely platonic. You keep saying nothing ever happened between you two and to paraphrase _The Princess Bride_ , I do not think nothing means what you think it means.”

“For real,” Josie said, “You’re actually saying that you slept by each other for four nights and nothing happened? Because Anne, the way you described it, you almost got off just from sitting on him.”

“Yes, unfortunately that’s true.”

“And Gilbert, you take every opportunity you can to touch her,” Cole said. “And need I remind you what I caught you doing after Diana and Jerry’s wedding? How did that not happen here?”

“Need I remind **you** that was done in my sleep? And under the influence of multiple things? And that I still haven’t brought that up with her?”

“Why not?”

“Because I feel terrible about it! And I didn’t even know I was doing it! All I have is secondhand knowledge of the event. For all I know, you made the whole thing up. But Anne, if it **is** true, I’m sorry, I love you and apparently, I find you incredibly attractive even when I’m out of my mind. And it didn’t happen here because it just wasn’t the right time; I wasn’t in the right mood.”

“You lie,” Sebastian teased. “You’re always in the right mood with her.”

“Fine,” Gilbert reluctantly admitted.

“And even if you weren’t, Anne sure as hell was.”

“Diana!”

“What? Don’t act like that. And no one can blame you. That was the debut of Gilbert’s cologne, remember?” she asked, laughing. “The situation was entirely out of your control. Hell, I almost kissed him that weekend.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that. Sebastian Lacroix that reminds me, I owe you a punch in the face.”

Sebastian laughed, “So the rumors were true? That cologne is hella expensive by the way, so cherish it while it lasts because I doubt we’ll be able to get more. It was sent to me by a friend in Trinidad and may or may not have been acquired illegally. I didn’t want the strong smell to bother Delphine and I was already with Muriel so after hearing my friend rave about its alluring properties, I gave it to Gilbert.”

“And I didn’t believe a word that you said about it,” Gilbert said. “It’s just a cologne. I only thought it smelled good and figured that it wouldn’t hurt to start making an effort to be more presentable.”

“Damn it, Gilbert!” Anne yelled. “You are the hottest guy I know! What the fuck did you need to be more presentable for? You were getting hit on all the time!”

“Not by you! You never even said you found me even a little bit attractive! You were giving me nothing, can you blame me for at least trying to get your attention?”

“You had all my attention!”

“Well, you could have maybe let me know!”

“Guys, calm down,” Sebastian said. “Anne, what happened with the cologne?”

“I… I had a very rough weekend,” Anne scowled.

“Until you had a very good weekend,” Diana said with a sly smile.

“I had a very good hour; don’t exaggerate. And please don’t talk about it.”

“Oh, I think I should.”

“To this day I’ve not fessed up about that weekend, Diana!”

“Well, then it’s time to come clean,” she said with a laugh. “You’ll be married soon; time to unpack that baggage.”

********February, Junior Year********

Diana came home from her last class around 3:30 on Wednesday afternoon. After hugging Anne for five minutes and checking over and over again if she was okay, she walked to her bedroom at the back of the house and paused by Anne’s room when she saw someone lying in her bed. Specifically, when she saw Gilbert lying in Anne’s bed. She dropped her bags in the hallway and ran back to the dining room where Anne was studying. Anne had rested for a while when she got home, but never really fell asleep and eventually gave up trying and instead was attempting to not fall too far behind in school.

“Is Gilbert sleeping in your bed?!” Diana yelled, her mouth agape.

“Yes,” Anne responded calmly as she continued reading her book.

“You’re not going to give me any details at all? Like how this happened? When did it happen? How many times did it happen?”

Anne slammed her book shut and glared up at her friend.

“There is absolutely nothing to tell, now shut up before you wake him up and he hears you!” she whisper-yelled. “Pretty sure if we had gotten together, I wouldn’t be able to contain myself. But look at me; do I look happy? He thinks he needs to stay a couple days to ‘take care of me.’ He will be sleeping on my floor, but I thought he could use the bed for now since he didn’t sleep last night.”

“That’s nice.”

“Is it? I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself,” she said angrily. “Now that I know how critical it is anyway.”

“Anne. Don’t push him on this. You know this is about him, not you. You should have seen him last night. I’ve never seen him that upset, and I was with him through his dad’s illness and death. Even if you don’t fully understand, please, just humor him. It’s not going to hurt you and you love him, right? Just be there for him and let him work through this. We’re lucky he was here, I assumed you were just tired and fell asleep. He’s the one who put together that you were sick.”

“I know, I know,” she conceded, “It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Nothing,” she gave a small smile and shook her head softly. “It’s fine.”

“Tell me; let it out.”

Anne took a deep breath and said, “So, I know he’s going through something. And I fully intend to help him through it. That’s what we do. That’s what I **want** to do.”

“But…”

Anne blushed and started talking even quieter, “But even after seeing how upset he was and even with my little episode, I have been on since watching him sing yesterday and I am positively going to explode if I’m sleeping in the same room as him.”

“On?”

“ **On**.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. It’s going to be rough. As is me pretending to be mad at him for going all possessive guy on me.”

“You’re not really mad at him?”

“No. I was for a minute, but I get it. And frankly, it was hot.”

“Then don’t pretend to be mad, that’s stupid.”

“I need somewhere to channel this energy, Diana; I need an outlet. And with him, my outlet has been and always will be rage.”

“Unless you act like an adult, tell him how you feel and have an entirely fulfilling relationship with the person you love most in the world.”

Anne rolled her eyes.

“Do you enjoyed being yelled at?” Diana asked. “Is that why you’re always arguing with him?”

“No. I just told you- the rage is just an outlet for me, a way to release tension. I have no idea what he could possibly get from it. As far as this morning goes, I enjoyed seeing how much he cared about me result in the nicest person I know barely being able to contain his rage. It was… invigorating.”

“Well, you know my suggestion.”

“I hardly think this is the right time to tell him I’m in love with him, Diana. Not that I think there is ever going to be a right time, but it definitely isn’t now.”

“Oooh! While he’s here, see if you can get him to make his special pancakes for us! He’ll say yes if you ask him!”

“How about no?” she said with a laugh. “He’s totally disrupting his life; I’m not going to ask for favors. And what is it with you and those pancakes?”

“If you only knew,” she said wistfully.

“I do know! I’ve had them! They’re really good, but you can make them yourself!”

“They aren’t the same when I do it!”

“He uses pre-made batter and adds cinnamon and a little butter. The only thing beyond that would be that he’s the one flipping them and I highly doubt that changes it.”

“Oh, it absolutely changes it. Picture it, Anne: You’re seventeen years old and you’re having breakfast with your neighbors. John gets called into town because there is an issue with something at the gym for a basketball tournament and that leaves you there alone, with Gilbert Blythe, the hottest guy in school.”

“Who you keep saying you haven’t had any romantic feelings for, so I’m really confused right now. Did this even happen or is it some weird fantasy?”

Diana swatted her arm and said, “It actually happened, Anne. And I don’t care about the lack of romantic feelings, that boy can do nothing wrong shirtless and flipping pancakes. It was just so fucking hot. I’ve since learned this is pretty much true across the board with anyone I find attractive,” she sighed dramatically then added, “But he was my first.”

Anne laughed and said, “Unfortunately, he was wearing a shirt at Green Gables. Or maybe fortunately. It’s real hard to say, I’m very confused.”

“Oh Anne, you are not at all confused. Every bit of you wants him and you are trying to talk yourself out of something amazing because of a completely irrational fear.”

“Regardless,” she said, then continued suggestively, “I’d let Gilbert Blythe flip my pancakes all night long.”

Diana laughed at the unexpected innuendo from Anne and asked, “What does that even mean?”

Anne blushed and said, “Who the hell knows. You know, there was one time I actually said out loud that he could touch me however the hell he wants. It was accidental, but I stand by that. Enthusiastically.”

“Good. Tell him you love him and give him the opportunity to do that.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“You don’t even need to say anything Anne, just kiss him and I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out from there.”

“Let’s pretend I somehow found the courage to do that. I would look like an idiot. I’ve never kissed anyone and I wouldn’t know what I’m doing. And why do you think he would be okay with it?”

“Because I have eyes and I’ve seen you together! No couple has ever made more sense than Anne Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe.”

“Except for Jerry Baynard and Diana Barry, you mean.”

“Hell no. You two make way more sense than we do.”

***

Gilbert slept most the day after Anne left her room, exhausted from the previous night. Anne finally went in a couple hours before dinner and was sobered by the sight of him. He was exhausted and worried; she could see it on his face, even in sleep. She laid down on her bed next to him and considered again what he said that morning when he brought her home.

_What if it **had** been him? What would I have done? _

She couldn’t find an answer. Imagining it for only a second was too painful and overwhelming. The thought of watching him lose consciousness, of not being able to bring him back to her, sitting for hours with no answers and no support, it was more than she could bear.

She suddenly remembered she had come in to wake him so he wouldn’t stay up all night. _But how?_

She didn’t want to shake him, or yell. That seemed a rude awakening, especially after the night he’d had. She wasn’t sure talking would be enough, and even that could startle him. She wanted to caress his cheek, but that was a ridiculous thought and in her current state she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop there. _Or I could listen to Diana and kiss him…_

“Are you just going to sit there and stare at me or did you actually need something?” he asked with his eyes still closed, his voice an octave lower than usual and raspy from sleep.

Anne jumped in surprise at the sudden comment.

“Son of a bitch, you scared me.”

“Sorry.”

“Why is your voice so low?”

“Because I’m a man.”

His words sent a thrill through Anne that embarrassed her; apparently all it took was a simple statement of fact identifying his biological sex to put her even more on edge.

“I didn’t mean to stare at you. I was just wondering how to wake you up in a way that wouldn’t scare you or offend you.”

“I don’t care how you wake me up as long as you’re the one doing it,” he said slowly. “Also, I’m a light sleeper. I woke as soon as the bed moved.”

She ignored the first part, unsure how to respond, and asked, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

His low, languid voice continued, “Because I want to keep sleeping; you have a much more comfortable bed than I do.”

“That’s what you get for buying the cheapest mattress. Maybe splurge on the pillow top next time.”

“Mattress shopping was the most frustrating day of my life. I just wanted to be done and figured a bed is a bed. I was wrong, but I will never have to endure the process again.”

“Oh my goodness. Gilbert Blythe just admitted he was wrong about something!” she teased. “I feel like we should take a picture to commemorate the occasion; make it a holiday.”

“You’re kind of a jerk sometimes, did you know?” he asked, laughing softly.

“And you’re an arrogant smart ass. Doesn’t mean we can’t all get along, does it?”

He laughed again and she asked, “Are you sticking with that crappy mattress for life then? You said you’re never doing it again.”

“No,” he answered. He still hadn’t opened his eyes; he was hoping it was late enough that he could just keep sleeping through the night. “My plan is to use the one I have until I get married, throw it away and then just leave it to my wife.”

“What if your wife doesn’t want to be in charge of buying a mattress?” Anne asked with a laugh. _Though if it were me, I would definitely be in charge._

Gilbert had a problem. His body was a light sleeper, but his brain was not. His brain woke up very, very slowly and it took some time to become the quick and clever person he appeared to be. It also took a while for him to be able to differentiate what he should and shouldn’t say out loud. When he stayed at Green Gables the previous summer, he had his own room and he would usually wake up, check his phone and take a shower before speaking to or even seeing Anne, so it was never a problem. But now he was in her bed, and still exhausted and blunt honesty was leaving his mouth before he could stop it.

He laughed and said, “Knowing the kind of woman I’m attracted to, my wife will be in charge of pretty much everything. If she isn’t interested in picking out a mattress, I will try to convince her that it’s worth her time. Then I will show her how much I appreciate her in a way that involves thoroughly breaking in said mattress.”

Anne was silent, shocked by his response.

“Fuck,” he sighed, his eyes finally opening at the realization of what he said. “I shouldn’t have said. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ve told you before to speak your mind. I was just surprised; we don’t usually talk about sex.”

“Yeah. I’m aware since I’m one of the two of us. Usually, I try not to speak until my brain is fully awake. And that would be the reason why.”

“I don’t mind,” she said as casually as possible while she sat up, trying to get the image of Gilbert ‘appreciating’ her out of her head. “It’s just that you’re so smart and polite all the time, sometimes I forget that you’re a guy.”

Gilbert groaned, rolled onto his back rubbing his eyes and then said, “You are killing me right now. Please don’t ever tell me you forget I’m a guy, you have no idea how much that hurts.”

Anne laughed, “Suddenly you’re insecure about your masculinity? It’s never been a problem before.”

“You know I don’t care about that, but I’m fully awake now and definitely going to stop talking before I dig myself into a hole I can’t climb out of. Why exactly did you want to wake me up?”

“It’s five o’clock. If you want to get back on any type of schedule you can’t sleep the entire day.”

“Fine. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good actually. You?”

“Meh, not great. My head hurts.”

“Why?”

“Stress? Lack of sleep? Dehydration? Crying? Impossible to know.”

She got up and went to get him some pills and water. He sat up to take the medicine, handed the water back to her and then fell back again on her bed with his hands over his head.

“Thank you. Did you eat?”

“Yeah,” she answered, looking down on him, trying not to bite her lip at the sight. _Focus, Anne, this is not the time._ “I ate the breakfast you made me and for lunch I had a turkey sandwich and a spinach salad.”

“Good.”

She laid down on her stomach next to him while he continued staring at the ceiling.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About how I would feel if it had been you,” she said.

“And?”

“And I couldn’t let myself think about it for more than a minute. I get it, Gil. I do. Do I love the invasion of privacy? No. But I understand.”

“Do you?” he said, rolling back onto his side, looking her in the eye.

“I think so.”

“Look, I know I’m being a lot right now, but can you just let me help you and prove to you… no… prove to myself that I can actually do something? That I’m not useless?”

“You are so stupid sometimes.”

“I know I’m stupid Anne. I know I’m being overbearing and I know that it’s not my place to take care of you. I know that you don’t need taking care of, but just let me feel like I can make a difference.”

“Explain to me in what way you **didn’t** make a difference, because from my point of view, you made all the difference,” she said, making sure he could see the confusion on her face.

“I knew you weren’t taking care of yourself and I wasn’t around to help. I didn’t even know you were feeling that terribly or I could have done something before it became what it did. Then all I could do was stare at you all night. There was nothing I could actually **do** to help. And if I had been around and paying attention-”

“You did exactly what I needed and you made a difference just by caring, Gilbert. You are the most reliable person I know, but you are not responsible for me. There is a difference between caring and responsibility. And you need to find that line. You did everything you could to help me, but my mistakes are my own, not yours. You can’t take the fault on this; it’s too much. I didn’t know there was a problem. Diana didn’t either. But you helped solved the puzzle and it made a huge difference, because now I can solve the root issue. You are the best person I could imagine having with me on my quest, Gilbert, but it’s up to me to slay my dragons.”

“Caring didn’t help though, it didn’t do anything.”

“It did everything that needed doing!”

“Not only didn’t it do anything, but it stopped me from seeing the situation clearly. I kept yelling at the doctor Anne, asking why you weren’t awake. Do you know what she said? That you were just tired. I cared too much and I couldn’t even see the most basic thing. I felt like such an idiot.”

“You felt like an idiot for caring? Caring is what makes you stand apart, Gil. You are so intelligent. Sometimes you’re a little slow, but you’re really, really intelligent. You have achieved tremendous things in your life and I have no doubt that you crushed that test you took a couple weeks ago, but do you know what? That’s not important. Not to me, not to Diana or the guys- and you can bet your ass Sebastian didn’t bring his daughter to Canada from a tropical paradise because you are intelligent. That’s not what matters. Caring is what matters; your passion for helping those you love is what matters. It’s your heart that makes you stand apart. Don’t get me wrong, your patients will want you to be qualified, but presumably all doctors are qualified. That’s not why they will choose you. People will come to you Gilbert. And they will bring their children and their loved ones to see a doctor who cares as much as they do. Caring deeply will always be the right thing. It’s what makes you a good person. It’s what makes you an amazing friend. And it’s the reason you will be a wonderful doctor.”

Gilbert fell on his back and rubbed his temples and quietly confessed, “I don’t know that I want to do this anymore.”

“We’ll figure it out. I promise. I know I can show you that you still want this, you’re frustrated right now, but I know it will pass.”

“You think you can convince me I want to do something that I currently cringe to think about?”

“What can I say? I live to prove you wrong, Gilbert Blythe.” She sighed and stood up, reaching out her hand to him and said, “You have no idea how satisfying it is.”

***

Diana, Jerry, Anne and Gilbert all ate dinner together, watched a movie and then everyone but Gilbert went to sleep. Having slept most the day, he wasn’t tired and decided to stay up reading for a while. When he went into Anne’s room around one in the morning, he accidentally kicked the leg of her desk and his swearing woke her up.

“Are you okay?” she asked, sleepily.

“Yeah, sorry,” he whispered and took his pillow and blanket off her bed and went to put them on the floor.

“The fuck are you doing? You don’t need to sleep on the floor, especially after what I put you through.”

He froze and asked, “Are you sure?”

“This is a queen bed and I am pretty small. There is plenty of room. If Ruby, Josie and I can fit comfortably in here, I’m pretty sure there is room enough for your skinny ass.”

“I’m not skinny. You sure you don’t mind?” he asked, picking up his pillow.

“Get the fuck into bed, Gilbert.”

“Sorry about that,” he said, embarrassed at the memory. “I didn’t mean to be that forceful.”

“Yes, you did. And I told you, I get it.”

She turned onto her side facing away from him as he got comfortable and did the same.

***

The first night they spent together was surprisingly restful. She was still a little tired from what she was choosing to call her ‘episode’ and found that Gilbert’s presence was actually comforting that night, not distracting like she assumed it would be. In the morning, Gilbert woke and was about to stretch when he realized Anne was curled into his back and one of her legs was resting over his. He apparently hadn’t moved that night, but she had rolled over and migrated toward him. He figured it was probably because he was warm and she was always so cold, but whatever the reason, he wasn’t complaining and was thoroughly enjoying how good it felt to have her breath hitting the back of his neck.

He stayed there for about twenty minutes, enjoying the contact, then slowly got up so he didn’t bother her. He threw his pillow back on the floor to prevent Diana from asking questions and left to start making them breakfast.

“Good morning, Gilbert,” Diana said as she entered the kitchen. “How was the floor?”

“I can honestly say I have no complaints about my accommodations whatsoever.”

“You could use the couch you know, I bet it would be more comfortable.”

“Thanks, but I don’t fit on your couch, Princess. Not all of us are fun sized.”

Diana swatted his arm with the back of her hand but still laughed at the joke.

“It’s fun seeing you in the morning. Maybe you should consider staying over more often. Like forever. As Anne’s lover.”

“Ew. Don’t use that word. And I’m not dealing with that right now.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” she said sarcastically. “I’ve heard that once you’re sharing a bedroom with someone it’s really time to slow things down from the agonizingly glacial speed they were going along at.”

Gilbert rolled his eyes and said, “It’s just for a couple days, it’s not like I’m moving in. And you just want me here to make you breakfast.”

“No. What I want is for you to go into that room, tell Anne that you’re in love with her, get some and **then** make me breakfast. I’m really not asking for a lot here.”

He laughed and asked, “Would you liked some eggs?”

“Yes, please. Can you make them like your dad used to?”

He smiled and said, “You got it.”

***

Anne woke up much later than she thought she would and noticed she was feeling a little weak. She also noticed that she was more on Gilbert’s side of the bed than her own and hoped that she didn’t do anything stupid in her sleep.

She went to the dining room and found breakfast waiting for her on the table next to Gilbert, who was already at his computer. When he saw her enter the room, he shut his laptop to give her his full attention.

“You’re going to want to warm this up, sorry. I assumed you’d be up earlier.”

“So did I. Guess I was still pretty worn out.”

“Feeling better now?”

“A little weak, but pretty normal. How’d you sleep?”

“A lot better than usual actually.”

“Get a better bed!” she said, laughing.

 _It wasn’t the bed!_ _It was you!_ he thought. “My bed is fine.”

“Your bed is crap,” she said as she picked up her plate and took it to the kitchen to heat it up. When she returned she said, “Thank you for suggesting I take the rest of the week off. I think that was the right call.”

“Thank you for listening to me. And the nursing staff. And your doctor. And only arguing for five minutes about the matter before agreeing.”

“I’m nothing if not amenable to suggestions,” she said pleasantly.

“Then you are apparently nothing,” he answered. “I personally, don’t believe that, but that’s what you’re insinuating.”

She rolled her eyes and asked, “Is Diana here?”

“No, she went to practice before class today.”

“I didn’t bother you last night at all did I?”

“No. Why?”

“I woke up on your side of the bed. I’m hoping I just moved after you got out but I wanted to make sure I didn’t invade your space and bug you.”

“You did not bug me even a little bit. I’m not lying. I slept great last night. Better than I have in a long time.”

“Good.”

“Eat.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“Please don’t call me that,” he answered tersely.

***

Anne spent the day doing the course work she was missing and she assumed Gilbert was doing the same.

A little before dinner, Gilbert shut his laptop and said, “I’m going home for a bit so I can shower. I’ll be back in a half hour or so. Think about what you want while I’m gone and we can cook when I get back.”

She heard the front door shut, groaned and slammed her head down on her arms on the table and yelled, “I want you!”

“What was that?” Diana said with a smile as she entered the room.

“Pretty sure you heard me.”

“I did, but it’s so much fun to hear it. You suppress it so much when everyone else is around. Hell, you don’t even let me see it very often. It’s nice to see that you’re human. How are you holding up?”

“I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this, Diana. He’s going to be here until Sunday! And I’m an idiot and told him he could sleep in my room. How the hell am I going to do this?”

“Just tell him you like him! Problem solved!”

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Nope,” Diana said, laughing. “I want to watch this get to you. I want it to bother you to the point that you actually do something.”

“You’re mean.”

“You need to make a move, Anne.”

***

After his shower Gilbert let himself into Anne and Diana’s house and joined Diana in the kitchen where she had already started making dinner.

“I told Anne I would help with dinner.”

“So help. We all need to eat better, we can all help cook,” she explained as he went to the sink to wash his hands. “Oh my. What is that smell?”

“I assume garlic. You’re making pasta.”

“No, it’s…” she said, sniffing around and following her nose to him, “It’s you!”

Gilbert looked at her, panicked, and asked, “Is it bad?”

“Since when do you wear cologne?” she asked, irritated.

“Since Christmas. When I can think straight enough to remember anyway, so I guess I’ve only used it a couple times. Bash got it for me.”

“Damn it, Gilbert! What is it made of, straight up pheromones?”

“I thought it smelled nice!” he said innocently.

“Oh, you smell fucking amazing. Can you stir this in please?” she asked, handing him a bowl of vegetables. “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure, yeah,” he responded, confused but happy to help.

Diana went to Anne’s room and found her sitting on her bed, reading something on her phone and slammed the door shut behind her.

“We have a huge problem.”

“Oh my god, are you pregnant?!”

“No! Do I look pregnant?!”

“No. Sorry. That would just be a huge problem. What’s going on?”

“Are you aware that Gilbert started wearing cologne?”

“The guy with combination shampoo, conditioner and body wash?” she asked with her eyebrows furrowed. “That doesn’t seem quite right.”

“It was a gift from Sebastian I guess.”

“Good for him. I haven’t noticed, but I really haven’t seen him very much lately until these last few days. Does it smell good?”

Diana’s only response was to whimper and look at Anne as apologetically as possible as she leaned back against the shut door.

“What…”

“Anne, I don’t know what he smells like, but all I want to do right now is climb on Jerry.”

“No.”

“I just want you to prepare yourself.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Just don’t be surprised if it sets off some… cravings.”

“No!” she yelled. “It’s a fucking cologne! I do not accept this. No. I will not be coerced into sexual desire by a cologne! I’ve seen the commercials and it will not come to that!”

“Yes, it will, sweetie, I’m sorry.”

“No! We are better than that! We are strong, smart, independent women! What is that against a smell?”

“Nothing, apparently,” she said, disappointed.

“Everybody has their own preferences. Maybe I’ll find it repulsive and it will actually work to keep me away from him! If not? Mind over matter, Diana. Mind over matter, I’ve got this. I’ve been talking myself out of sexual desire for years now. I can do this. It’s me versus the cologne.”

“My money is on the cologne. Sorry. I have him stirring sauce, do you want to mix the salad? On the other side of the kitchen? Facing a different wall?”

“I appreciate the consideration, my friend. Let’s go.”

They walked back to the kitchen and Anne was relieved that the space only smelled like marinara, not even a whiff of anything resembling boy. Diana got the salad supplies out for Anne so she didn’t need to get too close to Gilbert. They prepared the meal together in casual conversation and Anne was not affected in the least, and eventually wondered if Diana had made it all up.

“Hey Anne? Can you get the plates and forks?” Diana asked.

“Yeah, just a second.”

“I got it,” Gilbert said and before Diana could stop him, he was next to Anne, reaching into the cupboard and Anne’s breath completely left her. He grabbed the forks, brought everything into the dining room, returned to the kitchen and looked at Anne who had stopped moving. “Anne, are you okay? Are you feeling lightheaded again?”

She remained completely still as she took deep breaths with her eyes shut tight, refusing to respond.

“Anne?” he asked, concerned, placing his hand on her lower back.

“You know what?” she asked, shivering at his touch. “Fuck you, Gilbert Blythe. Fuck you **and** your brother.”

“What?”

“How dare you come in this house smelling that good, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Haven’t you been telling me to take better care of myself?”

“I meant eat a sandwich, drink water and get some sleep! Cologne isn’t taking care of yourself; it is decoration and you do not need **any** decoration, trust me!”

“I thought it smelled nice!” he said, starting to laugh, finally catching on to what it was doing to her.

“It does not smell nice, Gil. Not even close. Tell me, why did Bash give it to you?”

“He claims it drives women crazy, but I don’t, or at least I didn’t,” he said with a smirk, “really think a smell could do that. I’m wearing it because I like the smell and I figured if I was going to be here a few days I might make an effort to prevent the place from smelling like guy.”

“And why do you insist on making the rest of us suffer with your supposed chivalrity?”

Gilbert continued laughing and said, “No way is that a word. I think you’re looking for chivalry.”

“That is because I can’t fucking think because of your fucking cologne. Damn it, Gilbert, use your head and have some fucking consideration for the women around you. Shit, if I were you, I’d stay away from Cole as well,” she said, growling at him. “I hope you’re happy.”

“You have no idea,” he said with a smile as he took a carrot from the salad and tossed it in his mouth while staring at her.

Anne angrily picked the salad bowl up and took it to the dining room.

“I think you’ll need to get rid of the cologne,” Diana said, having witnessed the argument.

“That would be no, Diana,” Gilbert said with a proud smile. “I’m definitely going to keep wearing it.”

Diana went into the dining room carrying the pasta and Gilbert followed with the sauce. They found Anne rearranging the chairs, putting two next to each other at the head of the table and then putting a plate for Gilbert at the far end, opposite of them.

“You can’t be serious right now. I can’t even sit near you? Either of you?”

“That would be no, Gilbert,” said Diana. “Sit over there.”

“Don’t you think this is a little ridiculous?” he asked.

“Yeah, we do,” said Anne. “Get rid of the cologne.”

“How dare you! It was a gift!” he said in mock offense. “What kind of person would that make me? He spent all that time and consideration to find the perfect gift for his brother, who is bound to him by something stronger than blood, and you expect me to get rid of it? I think the proper thing to do would be to cherish it. Use it every damn day until the bottle runs its course.”

“How many sprays did you use?” Anne asked.

“Just one. I thought it was too strong to do more.”

Diana got out her phone, searched for a minute and then asked, “Okay, this thread on reddit says one milliliter is ten sprays.”

“How many milliliters is the bottle?” Anne asked.

“How would I know that?”

“Go check,” said Diana.

“I’m eating.”

Anne glared at him and said, “Go. Check.”

Gilbert rolled his eyes, got up and passed by Anne on his way out the door.

“Fuck!” Anne yelled when she heard the door shut. “Is mind over matter not even a real thing? Diana, what the fuck am I supposed to do now? This is unbearable!”

“Maybe we can steal it. Or break it. Or damn, just give it to Jerry. That would fix my issues. Deep breaths, Anne.”

Gilbert returned a couple minutes later.

“Okay,” Diana said, “From what I can see, most bottles are fifty or one hundred milliliters. What are we working with here?”

“It’s a big bottle, sorry.”

“One hundred? We can work with that. One spray a day, ten sprays a milliliter, one hundred milliliters. We ride this out, that’s a thousand days. That’s… 2.7 years.”

“Sorry, I didn’t make that clear. It’s not an average sized bottle, apparently. It’s two hundred and fifty milliliters.”

“Mother fucker!” Diana yelled.

“That’s almost seven years,” Anne whispered in disbelief.

“Hey Anne?” he said confidently, deriving way too much pleasure from the situation. “Question for you: You turn twenty-one next month. Seven years only brings you to twenty-eight. I was wondering if you wanted me to hold off on using it for another year so you’re ready to go when you’re twenty-nine? Or maybe just save it all ‘til then?” He barely finished speaking before he was unable to control his laughter.

“I’m going to kill you.”

“What are you talking about?” Diana asked.

“Gilbert and I made a deal; if he’s still a smart ass when I turn twenty-nine, I’m going to kill him.”

“I **really** don’t think that’s going to happen,” Gilbert said, still laughing. “Not if I’m wearing this cologne.”

***

Thursday night was not restful for Anne. Not at all. They talked for a while until Gilbert eventually fell asleep, then Anne played games on her phone to distract herself from him. And his cologne. She had started out by reading that night, but the book she was reading was a rather graphic love story and absolutely not helpful. She finally passed out at three in the morning, having not succeeded in finding a worthwhile distraction, but exhaustion eventually won.

The next morning Gilbert woke up on his back with his arm around Anne, having no idea how they got there, but not at all upset about it. Her head was on his chest, her arm was resting across his stomach and her leg, again, was resting over his. He breathed in the smell of her hair and was in heaven. For a moment, he was fully committed to staying just like that for the day, but after a few minutes he felt her leg slowly start to move up his and knew that he needed to remove himself from the situation as quickly as possible. Thankful that she slept so heavily, he slowly untangled himself from her and then sat on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths. He figured the close contact was because of the cologne, based on what he saw last night. But even if it wasn’t, on the outside chance that she was actually showing interest in him, he would rather she do it while awake. Also, he knew she was a vivid dreamer so who knew what she could have been dreaming about that caused her to act like that. _Or she could have just been cold. It doesn’t mean anything and I shouldn’t jump to conclusions._

After a couple minutes, he was able to go out and start making breakfast. Anne soon woke up at the sudden loss of heat, though she didn’t realize that was the reason. She **did** realize that she was again on Gilbert’s side of the bed and silently screamed in frustration.

She got up and ran out into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry!” she yelled.

He looked at her and asked, “For what?”

“Whatever I did that forced you out of bed. I woke up on your side, I can only assume that you left because I took over.”

“I left because I woke up,” he explained calmly as he poured her a cup of coffee. “It’s **your** bed, so there are no sides. And trust me, I forced myself out of bed. I was super comfortable, but hungry.” _A little too hungry._ “It was time to get out of bed. That’s it.”

“You’re sure you’re not mad?”

“You know what? I **am** mad. I’m mad that you keep apologizing to me when I am the one who is invading **your** space. If you did anything that bothered me, I could move to the floor, or back to my house, but I haven’t, have I?”

“No.”

“No. So don’t worry about it. Trust me. You have done nothing that has made me uncomfortable. Would you rather I move back to the floor? Would that help you feel better?”

“No,” she answered quickly.

“No?” he asked hopefully.

“No. I mean, what kind of host would that make me?”

“The kind that didn’t actually invite anyone to stay,” he said with a laugh. “I appreciate you letting me stay here, but if it’s too much of a bother…”

“No. It’s been fun. Really.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I ah… I think I’m going to shower now.”

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Cereal is fine. I’ll get it when I’m done.”

“Really? I can do better.”

“I know, but please don’t. I’ll be fast.”

***

That afternoon, Anne was pleased to find she was actually caught up with all her work. She was just about to start working ahead but decided to take a little break first.

“Hey Gil, what are you working on?”

“Nothing.”

“Talk to me. I’m not an idiot, you can tell me what you’re studying, I’ll understand well enough to have a conversation.”

“I’m not working on anything, Anne. I haven’t done anything for school since I got here. Do you need something?”

“You’re not doing homework? Then what have you been doing?”

“Watching Youtube, playing games, reading for fun, listening to music.”

“For three days? Are you serious?”

“Quite.”

“Gilbert, what is going on?!” she yelled, utterly perplexed by his behavior.

“I told you, I don’t know if I want to do this anymore.”

“So you’re just going to stop? What are you going to do instead?”

“Don’t know.”

“You’ll need to find a job someday, Gil, and it’d be really good if it could be something you’re passionate about. But regardless, you’ll need a way to make money.”

“I really don’t, not right away anyway. I have time to figure it out.”

“How? Are you a wizard?”

“Never mind.”

“Okay, I know you are struggling right now, but you can’t just give up and stop, okay? We will figure this out. In the meantime, you need to keep up, because when you get through this in a week, month, or whatever, you are going to be pissed as hell that you let yourself slip. You have worked your ass off for this and I’m not letting you give up right now. Let yourself be upset; be frustrated, whatever you need to do to cope, but do not stop. Not like this.”

“Why not?”

“Because you were made for this Gilbert! Do you know what Doctor Harding said?”

“Probably something along the lines of ‘Your friend can’t handle the pressure.’”

“No. Not even close. She said she had never seen a student display the ability to recall such technical information so articulately while in such emotional distress. She explained that most doctors don’t even know their patients and even then, the task of treating them can and does take a huge emotional toll. But she was amazed that even with how upset you were at witnessing me in that condition, you were able to recollect and process information like it was second nature. And she pointed out that no pre-med student has any reason to even know about that shot they gave me. But you did. She was so impressed, Gilbert. And I’m not gonna lie; I was so proud of you. I **am** so proud of you.”

“That’s just one observation from one doctor.”

“She’s been overseeing the intern program at that hospital for twenty years. It’s not just one opinion. It’s the only one worth listening to at that hospital regarding the matter. You have a gift. Don’t ignore it because you are discouraged. Use this experience to learn and grow. Let it make you stronger and more confident. You now know that even in the most stressful of situations, your knowledge won’t fail you. Isn’t that a huge fear for doctors? Choking under the pressure of an emergency? You’re not even in med school yet and you can be confident that if you know the information, your brain will recall it and not let you down when you are under unimaginable stress; when people are relying on you to save their lives.”

He was quiet for a moment then asked, “Do you ever doubt what you’re studying?”

“Yes. But do you know what?” she asked, putting her hand on his. “I know that I can make a difference as a teacher, and that is what is most important: making a difference. If I can help just one kid in the same way my teachers helped me, that’s enough. And if for some reason, it isn’t fulfilling, that doesn’t mean I’m stuck doing it forever. I can always try something else when I figure it out.”

She had been looking at the table but shifted her eyes to his and continued, saying, “Shitty as the beginning of my life was, it taught me something invaluable: Nothing is ever final; change is always a possibility. You may think that it’s all been decided, but it never is. At any time, all it takes is a moment,” she said, suddenly breathless and realizing she wasn’t really talking about changing professions at all. “Just a single moment and an assertive action can change absolutely everything.”

Gilbert took a deep breath and looked away from her and asked, “So why isn’t this that moment? Why shouldn’t I look at other fields now before wasting my time and money?”

“Because you’re too logical to let a moment of doubt and fear take away everything you’ve worked for. Look at what brought you here, Gilbert. You ran away and found your family on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Together with that man you saved a woman’s life and that of her child. And that led you here, where you are currently at the top of your class and apparently impressing hospital staff you don’t even know. And instead of listening to all that, you are listening to the tiniest voice berating you for feeling too deeply? That’s not even a fault! Tell that voice to shut the hell up!”

Gilbert laughed softly and said, “You’re telling me not to listen to the critical voice instead of the praise? Sounds familiar.”

“Then take your own advice! You know this, Gilbert! Is **this** what you’re afraid of? Is this what you think you aren’t good enough for? There is nothing you aren’t good enough for. Trust me. **Nothing**. You deserve everything, Gil.”

She took a deep breath and continued, “There may be one thing in your mind telling you it won’t work out and that it’s pointless and that you’ll never be good enough… oh my god I’m so stupid.”

“What?”

She started laughing and continued until her eyes started watering.

“Anne?”

“Yeah, Gil?” she asked wiping her eyes dry.

“You were saying?”

“Ah, yeah, I was, wasn’t I? I’m sorry. I’m just… well, I’m just realizing something. If it helps, please know that I’m just as slow as you are sometimes. Wow, this is embarrassing! Take your own fucking advice, Anne,” she said to herself as Gilbert sat looking at her completely bewildered. “Anyway. I was just going to say that maybe instead of listening to that tiny, little voice causing you to doubt everything, consider listening to the chorus yelling at you, screaming that it’s a perfect fit,” she said and then she stood up. She started walking away and then turned back to him with tears in her eyes and quietly said, “There isn’t going to be a better match, Gil. This is it.”

“Are we still talking about me being a doctor?” he asked, hoping that it wasn’t at all about him being a doctor.

“Do your homework,” she said as she walked to her room.

“Anne?” he called after her. “Are you-”

“I’m fine, Gilbert, I just need to rest for a minute. Please, do your homework.”

She went to her room, crawled into bed and started crying, frustrated that she couldn’t figure out a way to follow her own advice. Logically she could see it; she could see a way forward for them together. But at the end of the day, the fear of ruining everything was too strong. She had figured out something though; it wasn’t just that she was in love with him. She meant what she said: There wasn’t ever going to be a better match for her. This was it.

***

That night was even worse. She tossed and turned for hours.

“Anne, what is going on?” Gilbert asked softly.

“Fuck. Have I kept you up this whole time?”

“On and off.”

“Sorry.”

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“I see that. Or rather, I feel that. I thought you were exhausted.”

“I am.”

“Is this a frequent occurrence?”

“Increasingly.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Can you rub my back?”

“Yeah. Anywhere in particular?”

“No, just stay away from my neck.”

“Any reason?” he asked as he gently rubbed circles into her back as she lay on her stomach.

“Yeah. I don’t want to have a panic attack. That’s hardly relaxing, though I would probably pass out afterward, so maybe it’s worth a shot.”

“Someone once grabbed you by the back of the neck?”

“Only to wake me up for sleeping in too late. After keeping a ten-year-old up cleaning until midnight. So yeah, all the time.”

“For how long?”

“Only a couple months.”

“Then they moved you?”

“No. Then he died,” she said, devoid of emotion. “Have you ever been happy that someone has died?”

“No.”

“I have. Not a great realization, but I can’t get myself to be upset about his passing. I was truly happy he died. And I still am. Sorry I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster. No one is sad when the villains are defeated Anne. Is this okay then?”

“Yes. Thank you. It’s perfect. Actually, you can stop now, Gil; I can tell you’re tired.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, thank you. That really helped. Go to sleep.”

He thought about removing his hand from her but changed his mind and let it remain resting on her lower back then quickly fell asleep. Anne loved the additional weight and was nearly asleep when his hand moved further across her back to her side and she felt his fingers curl into her waist. Then she was nowhere close to sleep. She didn’t want him to let go, even though the warmth and energy of his hand on her was almost too much to endure. Regardless, she remained motionless, yet very much awake, for as long as she could, unwilling to pass up the opportunity to have his hands on her.

***

“Where’s Gil?” Diana asked when she found Anne in the kitchen early Saturday morning.

“Sleeping.”

“Still? That’s late for him.”

“We stayed up talking for a while.”

“So, how’d you sleep?” Diana said, already knowing the answer.

From the looks of it, Anne hadn’t slept. She was leaning against the countertop by the coffee pot already pouring her second cup.

“This is not a sustainable lifestyle, Diana. I cannot sleep next to that man in my current situation. I have never had a more worthless night of sleep. If he is going to smell that good and look like that, he could at least have the decency to put out.”

“Pretty sure he would if you asked. Wait- did you say next to?”

Anne’s eyes went wide having been caught in the lie, but then she recovered, “With him on the floor. You know what I mean. I am so… what does Rachel say on _Friends_? Erotically charged?”

Diana laughed, “Yes, Anne.”

Anne continued talking quietly, “I’m so erotically charged that I can’t even think. I can’t sleep. I’m kind of compensating by eating my feelings, which is weirdly making Gilbert happy which makes him look at me like, well, I don’t know. I can’t figure it out.”

“Like Jane looks at chocolate cake?”

“Shut up, no. But whatever look it is, it makes me even hotter. Damn it, Diana, I am going insane.”

“So just take care of it.”

“No.”

“Why not? Do you not do that?” she laughed. “You’ve wanted him for like two and a half years. How do you survive?”

“It’s not like I never have, I just don’t usually.”

“Why not? You will feel so much better!”

“Easy for you to say, you have Jerry.”

“Excuse me? Did I just hear you say you needed a man to help you do something?”

“No,” Anne replied weakly. “It’s just that-”

“Did you, Anne Shirley Cuthbert, just say that you were unable to accomplish something as a self-sufficient woman and needed a man’s assistance?”

“No.”

“I can’t hear you!”

“No ma’am!” she yelled.

Diana laughed and said, “Then take care of it, Anne.”

“How?”

“Use your imagination!”

“My imagination isn’t the problem! I am sharing my bedroom with him!”

“Then have a shower, take a bath, make him move to the couch, I don’t care what you do Anne, but you’re right, you can’t exist like this. I can see you squirming and crossing your legs is only going to help for so long. If it gets too much worse, you’re just going to be walking around in your skinny jeans one of these days and they’ll take care of it for you. Care to share your orgasm with everyone in the quad or would you rather do it in your own home?”

“Well, you have a point there.”

“Just do it; it’s healthy, Anne, really. Plus, if you don’t figure out what works for you, how are you going to know what you like when you finally get him into bed?”

“I love that you talk like that’s a possibility. I appreciate your confidence.”

Anne went to prepare a bowl of cereal and Gilbert entered the kitchen.

“Morning ladies, how did you sleep?”

“Great.”

“Terrible.”

“Anne’s mind was racing all night apparently.”

“Sorry. I figured you were close to sleep after we got done talking last night. I’m here to help you, you know, is there anything I could do so you could rest easier?”

Anne took a measured breath, produced a tight-lipped smile and shook her head ever so slightly, then walked away.

Diana was leaning against the sink, drinking coffee and watching the interaction with amusement. After Anne walked away and she saw the bewildered look on Gilbert’s face, she turned around and spit her coffee in the sink, unable to contain her laughter.

“Are you okay?” Gilbert asked.

She coughed to cover up the laugh and said, “Just too hot. Lucky the sink was here!”

***

Gilbert and Anne spent most the day getting Gilbert caught up on his schoolwork, which went pretty quickly because like Anne pointed out, he knew what he was doing and he was good at it. Diana watched them all morning long, not believing that they weren’t able to figure out their relationship. She decided that if anyone would have observed what she was observing, not only would they assume they were together, but that they had been together for years. And that made perfect sense to Diana, because really, they **had** been together for years.

It was almost disturbing how well they complimented each other. The cliché thing to say would be that they could finish each other’s sentences, but they didn’t even have to do that. Frequently one wouldn’t say more than a couple words and the other would respond in full understanding. All she heard was a strange volley of words: “Did you see-” “Yeah, I know,” “Don’t forget-” “Just saw that,” “One more-” “On it,” “That means-” “Yeah it does.” It was remarkable.

But even as crazy as that was, Diana was fairly sure most their communication wasn’t even audible. Anne was about to sneeze and Gilbert wasn’t even looking directly at her but handed her a tissue just in time. Gilbert groaned and Anne immediately knew that his pen had run out of ink and handed him another without lifting her head from the book she was reading. Anne brought coffee out to him at ten and Gilbert got them water without asking a half hour later. They continued on like that for hours as Diana watched them, completely entranced, wondering what would happen next. The sweetest thing that happened was when Anne pulled her sweatshirt sleeves down over her hands and brought her legs up under her, Gilbert got up without a word, went to get a blanket and wrapped it around her with no explanation. He sat back down and continued reading and Diana watched Anne look at him in disbelief, then smiled sweetly and softly said, “Thank you, Gilbert.” He looked back at her with such devotion that Diana actually teared up at the sight and he simply said, “You’re welcome, Carrots.”

***

After a late lunch, Gilbert was able to convince Anne to take a quick walk with him to get some fresh air. When they returned, they were laughing raucously then made their way to the kitchen. Diana couldn’t make out what they were saying, but they got into a lengthy, spirited debate. When they came out of the kitchen, Gilbert looked amused and Anne looked flustered.

“I’m going to take a bath!” Anne announced a little too forcefully.

Diana laughed softly and asked, “Need to warm up from the walk?”

“Sure. Yeah. I need to warm up because I’m not already hotter than I’ve ever been.”

“Are you okay?” Gilbert asked, concerned.

“I’m just great,” she answered sarcastically. “Never been better.”

Gilbert sat down on the couch next to Diana and they heard Anne slam the bathroom door shut.

“What were you talking about?” Diana asked.

“When?”

“In the kitchen just now.”

“Different types of pasta and the proper sauce for each type of noodle.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You two are the worst. How can you not see that you are made for each other?”

“Hey, you know where I stand. Talk to your roommate.”

“You talk to her! What are we, fourteen? You’re a grown ass man!”

“I’ve attempted a few times now, and every time I do, she looks at me like I’m an alien about to murder her. You should see how scared she looks.”

“Then just kiss her and see what happens.”

“No. She’s been assaulted Diana, I don’t know it all, but I’m not adding myself to that list. Not that I would go that route if she hadn’t been, but if anything ever happens between us, it needs to be on her terms.”

***

He walked to Anne’s room to study since Diana was going to practice on a keyboard in the dining room and he didn’t want to bother her. When he got to the hallway, he could hear Anne had some music playing and he smiled when he heard the new song start. He learned last summer that Marilla pretty much kept a constant stream of oldies playing in her kitchen at Green Gables; she said it reminded her of her mom. Anne had developed a liking of the songs over the years, especially since coming to college, because they reminded her of having a home.

He heard Anne start to sing along and he sat down against the wall to listen to her.

 _“I_ _was sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream, like all at once I wake up from something that keeps knocking at my brain. Before I go insane, I hold my pillow to my head and spring up in my bed, screaming out the words I dread: I think I love you.”_

Gilbert smiled and quietly sang the echo, _“I think I love you.”_

Anne continued, _“This morning I woke up with this feeling I didn't know how to deal with and so I just decided to myself, I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it and did not go and shout it when you walked into the room. I think I love you.”_

 _“I think I love you,”_ he sang again. While it didn’t count as a direct confession, he found it was incredibly cathartic.

Anne then belted out the refrain, _“I think I love you so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for. I think I love you isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I never felt this way.”_

Gilbert got out his phone and added the song to the playlist he had featuring all the songs that made him think of her. It was getting really long.

She sang, _“I don't know what I'm up against, I don't know what it's all about, I got so much to think about. Hey! I think I love you so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for. I think I love you isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say, I never felt this way.”_

Anne’s voice faded away, so in the hallway, Gilbert sang, _“Believe me you really don't have to worry, I only wanna make you happy, and if you say "hey, go away" I will. But I think better still I'd better stay around and love you. Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face, do you think you love me?”_

There was no way she could hear him, he was practically mumbling in the hallway, but right on cue, she responded, _“I think I love you,”_ and they finished the song taking turns confessing their love through the door.

The song transitioned to _American Pie_ by Don McLean and though he liked it, he forced himself to get up and walk away. He went to her room and sat down at her desk and looked around. As always, _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Jane Eyre_ were on her desk, constant companions of Anne’s no matter how busy she was. He picked up _Pride and Prejudice_ and fanned through the pages and two small pieces of paper fell out. He picked them up and saw that they were fortunes from fortune cookies and he smiled, wondering if they were the ones she wouldn’t share when they all went out to eat when they got back to school last fall.

He remembered they were all going around the table sharing and Anne kept reading hers and then looking across the table at him while her mouth hung open. Then she asked for another cookie, opened it, read the message, blushed, laughed and shook her head in disbelief. When it came time for her to share, she stood up and announced she needed to go to the bathroom. Diana grabbed her wrist, read the fortunes and then laughed as Anne walked away, but didn’t share with the group what it said.

He looked down at the papers that had fluttered down to the desk. The first one said _The love of your life is behind this fortune._ The second one said _You should definitely go for it._

 _Well, that explains Diana’s laughter._ He laughed softly and said, “You should definitely go for it, Anne.”

He knew those fortunes were crap and that it was just the luck of the draw, but he kept the fortune he got that day too: _Be patient. Good things come to those who wait._

He put the fortunes back inside the front cover and started reading the book but couldn’t get into the prose because his mind kept wandering back to them. _Why would she keep them if they made her so uncomfortable, unless they had meant something to her?_ She didn’t keep things just to keep them; she wasn’t a collector of material goods. Since growing up in foster care, she only kept the important things.

He continued looking around her desk. She had three pictures framed. One was the one he took of her with the Cuthberts when she learned to ride a bike. The smallest one was of her and Diana at a party where they both looked absolutely stunning. The largest picture by far was Anne and Gilbert together at Green Gables the previous summer- a selfie that she had taken with them covered in butter and plum puff filling. They had tried to pose glaring angrily at each other, but Gilbert had made a joke about something and what was captured was Anne’s head thrown back in laughter and him looking at her, smiling with hopeful eyes, like she was the world; anyone would be able to tell that he absolutely adored the woman he was looking at. He smiled at the memory and went to get out some homework.

Studying was worthless, he just sat staring at the picture of them, smiling and remembering how close they had gotten last summer, wondering what had happened since then. Wondering if he would have stayed another day or another week, hell if he had stayed another five minutes if something would have happened. If he would have ruined everything or if they would be together. He knew it wasn’t worth speculating about, but he couldn’t help himself.

Eventually Anne sauntered into her room, with a smile on her face and a sense of peace she hadn’t felt in months. She walked to the end of her bed, turned around and fell onto her back with a contented sigh.

“Good bath?” he asked with his back to her, still staring at the picture.

“Fantastic,” she replied airily.

“I like this picture of us. I didn’t know you printed it.”

“I like it too,” she said sleepily.

“What is up with you right now?” he asked and then finally turned to look at her, finding her wearing only a poorly secured towel. “I...I...” he stuttered, “I have never seen you this relaxed.”

“Gotta love a bubble bath,” she lied.

“Is that also responsible for you not caring that your towel is barely covering you?”

“Nope, that would be the wine that Diana brought in to me.”

“I’ll just leave you alone so you can get dressed,” he said awkwardly and then clumsily got up and left the room.

“You going somewhere?” Diana asked when he entered the dining room.

“I’m going for a run. She is lying on her bed in a towel that is pretty much falling off of her, Diana. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

“You don’t need to go for a run. And you’re supposed to do **her**.”

“I’m going for a run. I’ll be back in an hour or two.”

“Do not put that cologne on again, Gilbert,” Diana warned.

“If she is going to walk around like that, I am fucking pouring that shit all over me. If I’m going to suffer, I’m taking everybody down with me.”

***

He didn’t pour it all over him, but he definitely used it. When he returned from showering after his run, Diana had already left for her date with Jerry.

“Did you want to do anything tonight?” he asked Anne. “Go anywhere? We’ve kind of been holed up in here for a while now.”

“And I’m loving it. The walk you forced me to go on was enough. It’s February, Gil, it is well below freezing. I do not understand how or why you run outside when it is this cold.”

“Because it’s necessary.”

“For what?”

“Sanity,” he said in frustration.

“You okay?”

He shook his head clear after he saw the apparent concern on her face and said, “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine. I don’t want to cook tonight though. Do you mind if I order some pizza?”

“Excellent. Let me know how much I owe you.”

“That’s okay. I got it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Promise,” he said, feeling bad about the secret he was keeping. Not the one about him loving her. It was a different one.

He called in the order and then went over to join her on the couch where she was watching TV. They were quiet for a while then, trying to hide his nerves, asked, “Have you thought about grad school anymore at all?”

“No. I mean, I think I want to go. But I’m going to need to work for a while before I can afford it.”

“Where do you think you’d like to go?”

“Nowhere until I figure out where to get the money from.”

“Dream big Anne,” he said, laughing. “If you had the money, if you could go anywhere, well, in Canada anyway, where would you go?”

 _Wherever you are,_ she said to herself, then answered, “I haven’t even let myself think about it. I have no idea what I’m doing after I graduate. Where do you think you’ll go?”

 _Wherever you go._ “The best med schools are U of T, McMaster, BC and McGill.”

He saw her stiffen and she quietly said, “Those are… not close.”

“No,” he agreed. “They aren’t. McGill isn’t too far though.”

“Is that where you’re going then?” she asked hopefully.

“I don’t even have my score back yet- I haven’t applied anywhere. Once I get my score back and **if** I still want to pursue medicine, I’ll talk to my advisor to see where she thinks I should apply. I don’t want to waste my time if I don’t have a chance somewhere.”

“What if you get into them all?”

Gilbert laughed at the absurdity of the idea. “That’s not how it works.”

“Dream big, Gil,” she repeated him. “Where would you go if you could go anywhere?”

“Probably Toronto or McGill. Toronto is the best, but McGill is closer to home and I like the idea being able to visit Bash and Dellie a little more often. And I like that it’s a smaller program. British Columbia is way too far away and McMaster seems fine, but if I’m going to live in Toronto, I might as well go to the better school, right?”

“Right. I’m surprised to hear you planning like this considering all your doubt.”

“It calms me down when I have a plan. I don’t like being unsure of things.”

“Well, rest assured that you will probably be able to get into any school you want. All you need to decide is where you **want** to go. And everything else with fall into place.”

He scoffed in disbelief, “Sure.”

“What?” she asked sadly. “You’ll be successful wherever you go. You’re brilliant and everyone love you. Is there something else you’re worried about?”

He looked at her intently, took a deep breath and said, “Just one thing.”

She stared back for a moment, expecting him to continue, then the doorbell rang and he got up to get the pizza.

Anne listened as the delivery girl flirted with Gilbert, then got up to get them beverages. Gilbert brought the pizza to the living room, set it on the coffee table and they ate in silence as they watched TV.

When they had finished eating, he could tell Anne was still tense and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said. “For the moment, everything is fine,” she explained. _But it isn’t going to be._

For the first time she realized that her time with him was limited. All things considered, she had only about fifteen months left with him before everything changed. They would graduate and go their separate ways. Their friendship wouldn’t be over, but it would be different and from what she had heard from recent graduates, it would be less. She started crying and he quickly pulled her into him to comfort her.

“Anne, what’s wrong?” he whispered. “Tell me how I can help.”

“Can you just hold me for a bit?”

“I’m an overachiever, Anne,” he said, trying to cheer her up. “I can hold you forever.”

She forced a laugh, but really his comment had made it worse, because he couldn’t. They stayed there and watched a couple movies, then they fell asleep like that until Gilbert woke up in the middle of the night in pain from the awkward position he was in. He could have left her on the couch and gone into her room alone, but he didn’t want to. He picked her up and brought her into her room and tucked her into bed.

“I could’ve walked,” she said softly.

“But you didn’t have to. I got you. Are you feeling a little better?”

“I don’t know.”

“Need anything?”

“Just don’t leave.”

“You know I’ll eventually need to go back to my house, right?”

“That’s not what I meant. Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. Ever,” he promised and Anne fell asleep. Gilbert stayed awake for hours wondering what to do next.

******** Back to the Bonfire********

“You know there was actually no point in you spending the night, right?” Muriel asked. “You could have spent all day together, made sure she was eating well, got your school work done and gone back home every night.”

“Yes, I could have,” Gilbert admitted. “But I didn’t want to.”

“And I didn’t want him too. It was a little frustrating at times, but it was nice having him there. Especially with how much time Diana was spending with Jerry.”

“So you used a medical emergency and a mid-college crisis as an excuse for a sleep over?” Sebastian asked. “Seems it would have been easier if you just would have told each other how you feel.”

“Yeah. It didn’t seem that ridiculous at the time though.”

“Yeah, it did,” said Cole, Jerry, Charlie, Diana and Moody together.

Anne and Gilbert rolled their eyes and Sebastian produced more shots.

“So what did you make of him promising to never leave you?” Diana asked.

“I thought I dreamed it. I barely even remembered that conversation until now.”

“What happened the next day?” Ruby asked.

“I went home and life continued as it had been,” Gilbert said.

“So… nothing…” Ruby summarized.

“Nothing,” Gilbert and Anne said together, then Gilbert continued, “Until Diana and Jerry’s wedding.”

“Hell yes,” cheered Cole. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The song Anne sings in the tub is 'I think I love you' by the Partridge family.  
> -Anne's face she makes right before Diana spits her coffee out is the face she made in AWAE when Tillie tells her to ask Gilbert about the steps outside the church. That's what it is in my head anyway.  
> -Let me know if you see any big mistakes.  
> -I know this was a weird mix of emotions, but if that's not college, I don't know what is.  
> -Yes, the wedding is next.


	14. This Has Been a Long Time Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert go shopping and spend the day in Avonlea being Anne and Gilbert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 19,825 words headed your way and yes, I just added 2 chapters to this story. Hopefully it will make up for the wait. Please don't be mad that we aren't quite at the wedding. So close!
> 
> And I'm sorry about any errors.
> 
> A big shout out and thank you to dianawithaj and Jane_E for listening to me complain and providing support and song ideas!

“Are we really doing this?” Josie asked. “We’re really going to relive that night of debauchery?”

“It wasn’t debauchery,” Anne said. “Not from what I’ve heard anyway.”

“Then you haven’t heard the whole story,” Cole warned.

“It was just a game of dare or dare. That **you** started, by the way, Josie,” Anne reminded her. “Because apparently we are too old to play **truth** or dare, but stupid enough to feel obligated to follow through with just the dares.”

Cole added, “And what did you think would happen once you dared Gilbert to take that shot literally out of Anne’s dress? You basically created a game of make-out chicken.”

“I’m sorry,” Anne said, raising her eyebrows, “Gilbert did what with who now?”

“I only wanted for one of you to finally make a move. And it wasn’t a game of make-out chicken. Gilbert did that shot and Anne licked his neck. That’s it. You know, besides them hanging off of each other all night.”

“I did what?!”

“Tell me that didn’t happen,” Gilbert pleaded. “Please tell me I didn’t forget that too.”

“It was just a little lick, don’t worry about it,” Josie explained.

“No it wasn’t!” Cole exclaimed. “Don’t you remember Jo?”

“Yes, I remember! Shut up Cole! I was just trying to prevent Anne from freaking out!”

“She’s going to hear about it anyway, so the freak out is coming!” Cole responded.

“What the hell happened at that wedding?!” Anne yelled.

“You really don’t know?” Sebastian asked.

“No, I really don’t know. We’re serious, we don’t talk about this wedding and I don’t remember what happened after dinner!”

“That wasn’t even the debauchery I was thinking about. I’m talking about you, Tillie. Care to clarify exactly what happened in that storage closet with not one, but two guys named Paul?”

“Ruby is the one that went old school on me daring me to do seven minutes in heaven.”

“With **one** of them!” Diana yelled “And you were in there for a half hour! Thirty minutes with two guys you don’t know is way too many minutes in heaven!”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if it had been you,” Tillie said mischievously. “As far as I’m concerned, that was exactly the right number of minutes. And I will not apologize for mature actions taken by three consenting adults.”

“The pregnancy test I saw in the garbage a month later hardly indicated a mature action, Tillie. Did you even know if they were clean?” Ruby asked.

“Hold on, how did this become about me? Aren’t we here to talk about the syrupy lust oozing out of Anne and Gilbert? Forgive me for needing some action for myself after watching that shit all day.”

“We weren’t oozing lust all day. We were just-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there Anne,” Charlie interrupted. “Whatever you’re about to say is a lie. I’m sure we’ll get to the details, but it’s safe to say you were both oozing.”

“Gross dude,” Moody said.

“Metaphorically speaking.”

“Josie does have a point though,” Moody continued. “You girls got way out of hand that night. Good thing we were there to take care of you.”

Tillie laughed and said, “Yeah right, Moody. I have two words for you: Pizza. Frisbee.”

“Ha! That’s right! That was awesome. I’m still so impressed that you caught that Ruby.”

“Oh my goodness I was so freaking hungry! Thanks to Anne’s contribution to the party,” she said glaring at Anne. “I don’t remember much from that night, but I remember being hungry. And Charlie- what happened to you when you went out to smoke a cigar and came back in without a shirt on? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think anyone was mad about it, but why?”

“I was hot!”

“Yeah, you were!” Jane said and put up her hand for a high five. He grabbed it and pulled her toward him for a kiss.

“So Cole- are you saying you know the whole story?” Sebastian asked.

“Yeah. I was the lone voice of reason and much needed supervision for a bunch of drunk toddlers.”

“Did you have any fun at all?” Anne asked

“I had a blast watching all you guys make fools of yourselves. And, of course, babysitting Anne and Gilbert. You were so, so close to getting together.”

“Were we?” Anne asked, surprised.

“ **Much** closer than you think,” Cole said.

“So, what actually happened then?” Sebastian asked hesitantly.

Gilbert finally spoke up, “Let me just begin by saying that while Anne and I are generally very responsible, we were definitely **not** at that reception. For reasons that will become abundantly clear, and as it has already been pointed out, we have **very** few memories from that night. I don’t remember anything from after dinner until Cole woke me up the next morning. And that’s when he told me about the shot and other things. Though you didn’t tell me about the lick.”

“That was Anne’s secret to tell. I didn’t realize she didn’t remember it. That shot was hot though, Gilbert,” Cole said. “And Anne, your face afterward was the most incredible mixture of disbelief and desire.”

“Forget her face,” Josie said. “I thought her nipples were going to cut through her dress!”

“Josie!” Anne and Diana yelled.

“What? You were obviously aroused, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You **both** were ready to go. Anyone could see it. Hell, like Tillie said, after watching you two all day I think we were all ready to go.”

“There’s so much to this story you guys don’t even know about,” Anne said, rubbing her temples.

“Interesting that you should say that because there is apparently plenty to this story that **you** don’t know about,” Cole said.

“Okay,” Anne said looking at Gilbert, “Should we tell them about the previous weekend?”

“I guess. Then Cole can fill us in on what happened at the wedding,” Gilbert said.

“Are you finally going to tell us where those penises came from?”

“Yes, Ruby. I’ll tell you where the penises came from. That much I remember.”

******** July, 2019********

**FW - Mobile**

_Have you ever been to A Long Time Coming?_

_Pretty sure that’s a sex shop Anne._

_I didn’t say it wasn’t.  
Have you been there?_

_Can’t say that I have…_

_You can’t say that you’ve been there?  
Or you haven’t been there?_

_I HAVEN’T BEEN TO THE STORE._

_Fuck._

_Yes, that would be the point of the store._

_You’re not funny._

_I’m hilarious.  
What’s up?_

_I need to go there._

_I’m going to regret asking this.  
Why?_

_I’m not getting any and it seems a decent  
way to fix the problem._

_Dammit Anne.  
What the fuck do you expect me to say to that?_

_I’M KIDDING.  
Well, I’m not.  
Getting any, that is.  
Ugh, stop talking.  
I’m trying to say that’s not why I need to  
go there.  
I need to get stuff for Diana’s bachelorette  
party._

_Why didn’t you just order it online?_

_Because Marilla’s name is on my credit  
card and I didn’t want her to see it and  
ask questions._

_Why didn’t you just ask to use mine?_

_I didn’t know that was an option.  
You’d really trust me with that?_

_Why wouldn’t I?_

_I don’t know, why would you?_

_Because I know you?_

_Right.  
Anyway.  
I need to go to that store.  
And I really don’t want to._

_I know where this is going and I’m not  
going there to buy penis candy for you._

_Then what the hell are you good for?_

_Seriously?  
How is it less awkward for me, a straight  
guy NOT planning a bachelorette party, to  
buy it than you, a straight female who IS  
planning a bachelorette party to go buy it?  
No one will even think twice about it.  
Just get it done._

_So you’re telling me you already have  
everything you need for Jerry’s party?_

_Charlie is the best man so he’s in charge.  
All I have to do is bring beer.  
So obviously, I’m ready.  
And no part of our night includes boob  
or vagina shaped anything, by the way._

_That you know of…_

_I’m with Charlie now and just asked him.  
No boobs, butts or vaginas.  
Women are weird.  
If you need to go there, just go._

_UUUGGGGGHHHHHHH  
FINE.  
I’ll go to the FUCKING store.  
All by myself.  
And feel completely uncomfortable.  
And not know what I’m doing.  
And just hope that there are no sketchy  
lurkers hanging about._

_I’m finding it a little amusing that you,  
Anne Shirley Cuthbert, are nervous about  
walking into a store._

_I’m confident in areas where I have expertise.  
Or at least where I can hold a coherent  
conversation about the topic.  
And I’m way past a little embarrassed to  
admit that my sexual intelligence is limited to  
what I learned in school and what I’ve seen  
on TV.  
So yeah, I thought it might be nice to have  
some moral support. _

_One- Don’t be embarrassed about that.  
No one that matters cares or would judge  
you because of it.  
Two- Never be embarrassed about telling  
me anything. Ever.  
Three- Call Josie. I’m sure she’s been there. _

_Don’t you think I tried that?  
None of the girls are in town yet.  
Well technically Josie lives there, but she’s  
busy this weekend._

_Anne.  
Are you seriously asking me to go to a sex  
store with you?_

_I don’t like it any more than you do.  
But I REALLY don’t want to go alone.  
And yes, it would be less awkward to go  
with one of the girls.  
But they aren’t here.  
And you are.  
I don’t mean to make you regret our entire  
relationship, but you pretty much brought  
this on yourself by saying and proving over  
and over again that you’re always going to  
be there for me.  
Ha! How’s that for personal growth?  
Look how much I trust and rely on you!  
  
_

_Nothing you ever do could make me regret  
even a minute of our relationship.  
But this is getting ridiculous.  
Someday I’ll need to learn how to say no to  
you._

_Which means…_

_I can go with you tomorrow._

_YOU’RE THE BEST!!!_

_I am.  
You owe me.  
Big._

_Yes, I do. Anything. Seriously. Name it._

_Anything?  
That’s pretty generous.  
How do you know I won’t abuse it?_

_Seriously.  
ANYTHING.  
Maybe you should abuse it.  
See what happens.  
I need to go.  
Let me know when works for you  
tomorrow. I’m free all day. _

“FUCK!” Gilbert yelled.

“What the hell is your problem?” Charlie asked after jumping at the sudden outburst. They were playing video games at Charlie’s parents’ house in Avonlea.

“Anne.”

“So nothing new then.”

“She is going to kill me, Charlie. It’s hard enough to be near her and try to ignore what she does to me, but now she wants me to go to A Long Time Coming with her to get things for the bachelorette party.”

“So?”

“So it’s a sex shop and I’m in love with her. I can barely look at her without wanting to kiss her or do… her. It’s really becoming a problem.”

“So tell her you love her and then pick-up some condoms and lingerie. Problem solved.”

“Sure. I’ll do that,” Gilbert said sarcastically.

“Oh man, can you imagine how she’d look in-”

“I promise you I can, I probably already have and please stop imagining her in any way,” Gilbert said seriously.

“Then you shouldn’t have told me about the bikini and the tattoo. It haunts me. In a very, very good way, but still.”

“Well, I’ve seen her in less, so imagine how I feel. Haunting doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

Charlie paused the game and stared at Gilbert who swore under his breath and was suddenly avoiding eye contact with him.

“So, um, I have questions. You haven’t had sex with her, right?”

“That is correct,” he said quietly.

“Then how and why have you seen her in less? What the hell do you two get up to when no one else is around?”

“It’s a long story. She can tell it someday if she wants. And we weren’t alone.”

“Wow. Can’t wait to hear that one.”

“Please forget I said that. I don’t know what I was thinking; it just slipped out. And don’t even think about making a joke about slipping into anything.”

Charlie laughed and said, “You know me well. No one is making you go with her, by the way. Just say no.”

“I’m physically incapable of saying no to her.”

“Tell her that and you’re golden.”

“No. I’d be golden if **she** said that to **me**.”

“It’s hilarious that you can’t see how into you she is. Even I can see it and I’m an idiot.”

Gilbert picked up his controller and started playing the game again.

“We’re close; really close. But she’s never expressed any romantic interest in me at all. I promise. If she had, I’m sure I would have noticed. She’s never even said that she finds me attractive and I tell her that she’s beautiful all the time.”

“She doesn’t need to say anything!”

“Yes. She really does. I’m not going to assume anything with her. I can’t risk that. Knowing her past and knowing her insecurities, I need to follow her lead here.”

“If you could see what I see, what **all** of us see, you two would be together by now. You know how much Jerry, Moody and I love Anne and we obviously all think is hot. Why do you think none of us have **ever** made a move?”

“Because we’re friends and you know I’m in love with her?”

“Sorry Gil, this is going to make me sound like a dick, but don’t you think there are some women worth ruining a friendship over? None of us ever made a move because we can all see what you two have together. Hell, we never even considered it. She has been yours since you met. Not because of any claim you laid over her, but because we have eyes and can see the connection coming from both sides. And what about the girls? It’s really annoying to admit, but you get hit on by a lot of women. Has Ruby, Jane, Tillie or Diana ever done anything to indicate they might be interested in more than your friendship?”

He thought about it for a minute and quietly said, “No.”

“So what, you think they are the only four women on campus who aren’t into you or do you think just maybe it has something to do with their friendship with a certain redhead?”

“I guess I didn’t notice.”

“You aren’t noticing anything Gilbert. I know you say you’re afraid of scaring her away, but I really don’t think you need to worry about that.”

“Every time I think she might be interested she says something that indicates that I’m not what she’s looking for. Or I start to get the confidence to tell her and then I hear from yet another guy who asked her out and got rejected.”

“Well, maybe focus on the fact that she already spends all her time with you. And how do you just ignore the fact that you’ve shared a bed with her and woken up with her all over you. Multiple times.”

“Shh! Shut up, nobody else knows that!”

“Nobody else is here! Calm down.”

“And that was in her sleep. Who knows why she did it.”

“She did it because she wants you. You are shockingly dumb for how smart you are.”

“If that’s true, and this is a big if, why wouldn’t she say anything?”

“I don’t know. We all have things we struggle with. Anne has never been the most confident person. Except academically. Maybe she’s just nervous about bringing it up.”

“Anne?” Gilbert laughed. “Nervous? Around me?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you nervous about approaching the issue with her?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Incredibly.”

“Well, there you have it then.”

“Was it this hard for you to approach Mandy or Alexis?”

“No. I was nervous, yes. But the possibility that they might say yes was worth taking the chance. You are making this much harder than it needs to be. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten this worked up about a sure thing.”

“It’s not a sure thing,” Gilbert said. He was quiet for a minute while he thought about what Charlie had said, then asked, “Be honest, am I the most pathetic person you’ve ever seen?”

“There was one time I saw a middle-aged guy try to steal a gumball out of a gumball machine for a half hour. He only stopped when his mother arrived, on a walker, and scolded him.”

Gilbert chuckled.

“And even compared to that, you are still, by far, the most pathetic person I have ever seen.”

“Fuck you,” Gilbert said through a laugh.

“No, fuck Anne and fix your fucking life.”

“I’m not talking to you about her anymore.”

“Good.”

***

Gilbert left a couple minutes later because he had volunteered to watch Delphine that night.

He wasn’t sure when watching her had become so exhausting, but he had not been this tired since taking his MCAT the previous winter. Apparently five hours of playing, arguing over dinner and the messiest bath in the history of the universe required more stamina than he had. He was completely worn out and was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom stifling yawn after yawn while he watched her brush her teeth.

His head dropped back with one of the yawns, he looked up at the ceiling and asked, “Dell? Are those bubbles on the ceiling?”

She looked up and giggled.

Gilbert continued, confused, “How did that even happen?”

“I’m good at splashes.”

“Apparently.”

“You’re supposed to help me, you know,” she said with her mouth full of foam. “I’m only three.”

“Sorry baby girl, I forgot.”

“Not baby.”

“You will always be baby girl to me.” He crouched down to help her and said, “This is weird. I don’t know what I’m doing from this angle.”

“Behind.”

Gilbert moved behind her and found that it worked a little better. “Thanks, Dell. Am I doing better now?”

She nodded in response. He did the best he could to help her brush and then she rinsed out her mouth.

“You are the smartest and most beautiful little girl in the world. Did you know that?” he asked as he picked her up and carried her to bed.

“Yep!”

“That’s my girl. Tell me one thing you wish would have been better today.”

“I wish you made better food.”

“I wish I made better food too, but I made what your dad told me to make. That was out of both of our control. Tell me the best part of your day.”

“Playing with you. Why doesn’t Queen Anne ever come over and play?”

“Because…” he began and found he really couldn’t come up with a good answer.

“You’re a fool?”

Gilbert laughed and said, “Yeah. That’s why.”

“I wish my hair were made of fire.”

He clarified, “It’s not actually fire, Dell, it’s just really vibrant. And your hair is just as special as hers is. It’s just different.”

“Can I see her picture again?”

“Yeah,” he said as he put her down on her bed and got his phone out. “Here.”

“She’s so pretty! You must love her so much.”

“She **is** pretty, but that’s not why I love her. I love her because she is strong, and smart, and brave.”

“Just like me?”

“Just like you.”

He started tucking the blankets in around her and she said, “No, Gilby, you have to sit by me and read me a story.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

“ **Under** the covers!”

He looked at her skeptically and asked “Really?”

“Yes.”

He climbed in next to her, feeling like a giant awkward invasion.

“And this,” she said taking his arm and putting it around her shoulders, “Goes here. And **now** you read.”

“Well, good thing I have you here to tell me what to do.”

“Daddy says you like a girl who puts you in your place.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “Your daddy is not wrong. This isn’t really the same thing, but I appreciate it anyway.”

He read her the story and when it was over, she whispered, “Can you stay until I’m sleeping Uncle Gilby?”

“Yeah, Dell, I’ll stay.”

He fell asleep with her in his arms, surrounded by stuffed animals and breathing in the heavenly smell of clean little girl.

When Sebastian got home, he found them like that, and of course took a picture and shared it online before waking Gilbert up.

***

“Hey Anne?” Diana asked as she scrolled on her phone. “Have you ever thought about if you want kids or not?”

“Not really, I guess I figure I will someday, but I’m not there yet. Which is a very good thing all things considered. What about you? Have you discussed it with Jerry?”

“Yeah. We both want kids eventually, but we’re going to wait a while. Probably a very long while. We’re young and not at all there yet.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Sebastian just tagged Gilbert in a picture that’s going to make your ovaries tingle.”

Anne laughed and then looked at the picture. Gilbert was leaning back against the headboard of a twin-sized bed with his arm around Delphine, who was using his chest as a pillow. Her tiny arm between them was wrapped around a stuffed unicorn and she was holding a magic wand. Gilbert was wearing a yellow bow that was keeping all his hair off his forehead and Delphine’s other hand was resting in his on his stomach.

She read the caption: _Hard to believe we didn’t even know this guy 3 years ago. Couldn’t ask for a better brother. Not sure where we would be without his generosity and compassion._

Anne said nothing, but tipped over on the couch, groaning, her head landing in Diana’s lap.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Diana said while laughing and giving Anne’s head a pat.

“Damn it all. How is **that** the hottest thing I’ve ever seen? He’s cuddling with a preschooler and I want to… no. I’m not even finishing that thought after saying the word preschooler.”

“It’s hot because you love him. All of him. Also, it’s hot because he’s hot. That’s just science.”

“Do you not know what science is? Because that’s not science. Not even close. Pass the bottle,” she said as she sat up.

“I can just fill your glass. And you’ve already had three.”

“Pass the bottle, Diana. I’m going in.”

“Because you’re in love with a kind, intelligent, sensitive, super-hot guy who would be yours if you just fucking said something?”

“Like, 50% of that sentence was true, so yeah, pass the bottle.”

Anne’s phone chimed and she looked down at it and smiled.

Diana laughed and said, “That’s your Gilbert smile. I can tell because you’re trying to suppress it by biting your lip. And you are fooling no one, by the way.”

“It’s super-fun that he chooses to call when I’m drunk and lusting after him. I’m sure this will go well,” Anne said, rolling her eyes.

Diana laughed and said, “You’re always lusting after him. You’re just usually not drunk.”

Anne answered her phone.

“Apple boy!” she yelled.

“Ah! That was so loud! What are you doing?”

“Drinking!”

“Shit Anne, my ear is ringing.”

“Well, you usually text, so excuse my exuberance at getting to talk to the one and only Gilbert Blythe.”

“Where are you?”

“Home. In the basement. Definitely not watching Pride and Prejudice or drinking directly out a of a wine bottle. Diana’s here. Say ‘hi’!”

“Hey Gilby!” Diana yelled.

“Wow, okay, so you both are pretty far gone then.”

“Mmmmmmedium!”

“Yep, totally plastered. Great. Hey,” he paused and took a deep breath, “Do you want to come over tomorrow?”

Anne instantly sobered at the question and asked, “Like, to your house?”

“Yeah, exactly like to my house, what else would I mean?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just never invited me over before,” she said quietly.

“Well, we’ve known each other for a few years now and I spent three weeks with you last summer so don’t you think it’s about damn time?”

“You know what?” she asked, gaining her confidence. “Yes. Yes, it is. What the fuck is wrong with you? You ashamed of me?”

He laughed and said, “Not even close. So I figure I can pick you up tomorrow morning around 9:30, we can drive down to Charlottetown to do that thing that I don’t want to do and then you can come hang out for a while and I can bring you home after dinner tomorrow night?”

“Sounds great! Oh! Diana is staying the night!”

“Thank God. Don’t drive anywhere.”

“We’re not dumb. I was going to say I’ll just ride back with her in the morning and she can drop me off at your place. Does that work?”

“Perfect. Tell Diana I say ‘hi’ and that I’m not going to answer whatever texts she’s bombarding me with right now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Anne laughed, “Good night, Gil.”

“Night, Carrots.”

Anne disconnected, then took a deep breath and a long drink.

“Um… Gilbert just invited me over to his house.”

“I gathered that,” said Diana with a knowing smile. “Still think he’s not interested in you?”

“I don’t know. Diana. There are times I think I can see it, but nothing ever happens! What’s it like?”

“Having someone be in love with you? It’s **exactly** like this!”

“No!” Anne laughed and swatted her arm. “His house; the orchard.”

“It’s like a fucking picture book. Softly rolling hills with row after row of apple trees. And his house is about a quarter mile from the ocean and there is the most spectacular view from the cliff. And they have this really old lighthouse on the property too and it is magnificent. And Anne, oh my gosh his house is this like, this old fieldstone cottage. I mean it’s not small, but ‘cottage’ just suits it so well. You’re going to love it. I think, if his house were personified, it would be you.”

“Wow, you’re really drunk.”

“That’s true, but I’m totally serious.”

“Oh, I know, that’s what scares me.”

“It’s like a spirit animal thing, except his house would be your spirit house. Is that better?”

“I guess that will depend upon my opinion of the house. I still have such a hard time reconciling the Gil I know with orchard Gilbert, who really, I haven’t even met yet. Which is so weird. I remember seeing him mow the lawn here last year and it looked so strange to see him that way, even though he looked totally at home while doing it. And somehow,” Anne said with a sigh, “He looked irresistible doing that too.”

“Oh, dude, see if you can get him to swing an axe for you.”

“I’m sorry? Is that a euphemism for something?”

“No! Get him to chop firewood. Make him take off his shirt and show you what he’s working with. It’s so fucking hot.”

“Diana!”

“What?”

“First of all, I know what he’s working with. Second, what do you suggest I say? ‘Take off your shirt and get your axe’?”

“Sure. Do that. And then invite me over to watch too because from what you’ve told me, he’s even more toned now and I’d love to see it. And I’d kill to see your reaction. You will be done.”

“Please. We both know I’m way past done. All he has to do is smile at me lately and I’m screwed.”

“Not as screwed as you could be if you told him that you loved him,” Diana said in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up.”

“So what are you going to do all day then?”

“We need to run down to Charlottetown in the morning to do some shopping and then he just said we’d go back to his place. We’ll probably do the same things you do when you’re over there, so you tell me.”

“Anne? I should probably tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out, okay?”

“That’s not a great start, but okay.”

“Gilbert is really private about his house. Like really, really private.”

“Okay?”

“I haven’t been over there since his dad died. Charlie was over there to help a couple days last year and even he said he only goes in there to use the bathroom- they even eat outside most the time when they’re working, but that’s probably just so they don’t get the house all dirty.”

“But in high school, I’m sure he had friends come over…”

“He had tons of friends, but only me and Charlie were ever invited over. He would go hang out with people, but no, he didn’t invite anyone over.”

“What about Winnie? Didn’t they date for a few months?”

“He never even really liked her, Anne, and she was certainly never invited over. Not once. I think I can count on my hands the number of people granted admission to Gilbert’s house since John’s diagnosis.” Diana started counting on her fingers, “Me, my parents, Charlie, Rachel Lynde, Marilla and now Sebastian and Delphine. I think that’s it.”

“So… what am I supposed to make of this then?”

“Anne, look at me. I have told you so many times to tell him you’re interested in him. Clearly that isn’t working. So now, all I’m asking you is to go over there tomorrow and enjoy yourself. Be yourself, unapologetically. Don’t hold back. And when you get home tomorrow night, call me.”

***

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_Did you just ask Anne out on a date?_

_No.  
Does she think I did?_

_No._

_I can’t tell if that makes me happy or sad.  
Did you need anything else?_

_What are your plans tomorrow?_

_I hadn’t given it too much thought.  
It was Delphine’s idea actually._

_But you invited her to your house._

_I will admit that is kind of a big deal.  
But she IS my best friend.  
Shouldn’t she maybe see my house?_

_She going to meet Bash?_

_NO.  
He’s out all day tomorrow._

_How very convenient._

_If by very convenient you mean completely  
intentional, then yes, SUPER convenient._

_She will have to meet him someday._

_Only if we ever actually get together._

_Are you finally going to say something?_

_I don’t know.  
I just miss her and need to see her._

_Need? Or want?_

_Need._

_You don’t miss me?_

_I saw you yesterday.  
And all you ever do is bug me about Anne.  
So no. I don’t miss you.  
You’re a giant pain in my ass. _

***

It had taken a concerted effort for Sebastian not to have yet met Anne. And Gilbert would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of himself for handling it as smoothly as he had. He didn’t ever lie to them, but if Gilbert had mentioned to Diana once or twice or seven times that she and Anne should go to a movie or shopping or out to eat when Sebastian happened to be in Charlottetown, well, it could have just been coincidental.

He honestly didn’t even know what Sebastian would do when actually in front of Anne, but he wasn’t yet willing to find out. The teasing he did at home was constant and thorough. True to his word, Sebastian didn’t make fun of him for being in love with her but definitely gave him hell for not making a move. Gilbert tried not to let himself imagine what he would be capable of, but for some reason, in his mind he saw Sebastian dancing.

Gilbert went to bed that night more excited than he had been in years; it had been so long since he felt good about inviting someone to come visit. After his dad got sick, they didn’t want to introduce additional germs into the house and Gilbert just got used to not having people over. Then when Sebastian and Delphine moved in, he had to be considerate that there was a family in the house again. Between that and actually having to take care of the property, he didn’t have much time to have friends over anyway. It’s not like he was trying to keep people out, but in the end, it was just easier to hang out at Charlie’s or meet Diana in town for lunch.

***

_“Hey dad?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Are there actually any fish in this lake? We’ve been out here for a really long time and you haven’t even had a bite.”_

_John laughed, “Gilbert, we have been out here for twenty minutes. I know it’s been a while since we’ve gone fishing, but this lake is still full.”_

_“So why haven’t you caught anything yet? Are you sure you’re doing it right?”_

_“I’m doing it right, smart ass. Maybe if you got your nose out of that book for a minute and helped me, we’d have a better chance of getting dinner.”_

_“You’ve got to be the only dad who has ever told his kid to stop reading. And what is so bad about buying fish from the grocery store?”_

_“Anything worth having is worth putting in the time, son. Sure, you could buy fish at the store and it would be fine. You could bring it home, cook it, and have a perfectly pleasant meal. But catching a good fish, Gilbert, it’s not about getting it done quickly, it’s about the experience; it’s about spending the time. It’d be great if at the end of the day we catch something, but if we don’t that’s okay too because in the meantime, we are making memories. And if and when you finally catch that fish, it’ll be all the more rewarding, because of the investment you put into it.”_

_“Dad, I just want to eat the damn fish.”_

_“Then put down your damn book and help me!” John said, laughing._

_Gilbert put his book down, baited his hook then stood and cast his line out toward the reeds. He jigged the line a couple times, got a bite and reeled in a nice-sized trout, then took it off the hook and put it in the livewell._

_He turned toward his dad, stood with his hands on his hips and asked, “Can we go now?”_

_“You’ve got to be kidding me. How’d you do that?”_

_“You think I don’t pay attention, but I do. And if it helps, I feel very rewarded. Can we go now?”_

_“Not everything is going to come that easily, Gilbert.”_

_“Dad! I get it! Put in the time if you want something great. You could just say the right girl will be worth an actual effort, I’m not stupid.”_

_“Then what the hell are you doing with Winifred?”_

_Gilbert laughed and said, “I just wanted to eat the damn fish.”_

_“Gilbert!”_

_“What?! Come on! That’s funny!”_

_John stifled his laughter and said, “Yes, it is; but I know I taught you better than that.”_

_“Look dad, Winnie was a mistake. I know that. This relationship, or whatever the fuck it is-”_

_“Language...”_

_“Whatever the hell this relationship is, I barely know how it even started. She was pretty and I needed to learn how to kiss for the show and then somehow here we are. I’m not stupid, l know I need to end it.”_

_“When?”_

_“Today! That’s why I don’t want to be here! I have shit to do!”_

_“Why didn’t you say so?” John said as he reeled in his line then started the motor. “Do you know what you’re doing? Are you nervous?”_

_“No and no. But it’s not like I’m breaking any hearts here.”_

_They were quiet as they sped across the lake. When they got to the dock, Gilbert asked, “Hey dad? How do you know when it actually is the right fish? Like, the fish you’re supposed to marry?”_

_“I don’t know if there’s a right answer for that. I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with never getting married son, but if you think marriage is something that you want someday, then I offer you the best advice I received regarding the matter: marry the best person you know.”_

_“How is that supposed to work. Wouldn’t we all just end up wanting the same person?”_

_“No. Because what you value in a person isn’t going to necessarily align with what another person values. And I’ll add one more thing. Marry your best friend.”_

_“My best friend is a guy. And I have no interest at all in marrying Charlie.”_

_“I think Charlie will always be a good friend. But when the time comes, the person you choose to share your life with should be your best friend.”_

_“Winnie obviously isn’t the best person I know or my best friend, but she seemed so nice and cool and then just turned into the worst person. How does that happen?”_

_“She didn’t change, Gilbert. You just got to know her better. The next time you are drawn to a girl, figure out who she is when no one is looking. When she isn’t trying to impress you, when she doesn’t think she looks her best, and when the world seems to be falling apart around her. **That** is who she is and **that** is who you need to love. It is easy to love a pretty girl on a perfect day, but you need to find someone you can love through the shit. Because there will be tons of shit.”_

_“No pressure then. Find the best person, turn her into my best friend and then convince her to marry me.”_

_John laughed and said, “That’s all there is to it. No pressure at all.”_

***

Gilbert woke at his father’s words. His dad would have loved Anne. He sat up and stared across his room at the print Cole had made for him, just like he did every day.

_Unattainable._

He considered for a minute that maybe Charlie was right. Maybe Diana was right. Maybe Sebastian and Marilla and Matthew were right. Maybe he had a chance. _Maybe she isn’t as unattainable as I think._

Then reality set in. He thought about Diana asking if he asked Anne on a date. And that Anne had assumed it wasn’t. And his disappointment at her assumption, even though it was the correct assumption. He **hadn’t** asked her out, so why was he so upset? Why were Diana and Anne talking about the possibility of this being a date? Was Anne relieved that it wasn’t? Was she surprised at the possibility? Disgusted? Was there any chance at all that she could be disappointed that it wasn’t a date?

A full day alone with Anne was all he wanted when he asked her over, but now he was starting to worry about her expectations of the day, which he told himself was stupid. She would have no expectations and they had always been comfortable around each other, even doing nothing. He wondered though if he should maybe try to show her that he could do more; that he could be more thoughtful. He had no idea what that would entail, but he figured he should take advantage of the opportunity to prove himself to her. _Maybe instead of telling myself that no one is good enough for her, I could actually try to be good enough for her._

Having come to the conclusion that he should probably make a plan for the day, he went downstairs to find Sebastian feeding Delphine in the kitchen.

“Morning, Blythe.”

“Morning, Bash. Good morning, my sweet, sweet girl,” he said and gave Delphine a kiss on the forehead.

“You know what you’re doing today?” Sebastian asked.

“I have an errand to run with a friend and then I was thinking about maybe going fishing.”

“Fishing?”

“Yeah. I had a dream last night about fishing with my dad, it made me want to go out.”

“You going to take Charlie with you?”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“I’d rather you not go out alone.”

“Well, I’d rather not take someone who complains the whole time.”

“Then Charlie probably isn’t your best bet,” Sebastian admitted.

“You think?” he asked, laughing.

“Just check in once in a while.”

“Gotcha.”

“Alright, we’re out,” Sebastian said as he and Delphine got their shoes on.

“Tell Miss Stacy I say ‘hi.’”

“I will tell **Muriel** that you say ‘hi.’ Get past it, Blythe. She’s going to be around for a while. Eventually you will need to call her by her first name.”

***

Gilbert went for a quick run, showered and while he was at it, he came up with a plan for the day which put him in a much more confident mood. He dried off and got his jeans on, finger-combed his hair, shook it out a bit then decided he should try to clean up the mess from the night before. Delphine had left toys everywhere, mostly because Gilbert had been too tired to tell her to clean them up.

He loved his house, he really did. Especially now that it was filled with life and laughter. He had refinished the old wood floors a couple years ago and now they were smooth and a little slippery. He had told Sebastian that he had it done because it was just part of typical house maintenance. While that was true, it wasn’t nearly the whole truth and it didn’t take Sebastian long to figure out Gilbert’s main motivation. He did it because he liked sliding in his socks down the hallway. While dancing. And singing. Usually while cleaning up the house. He figured if it had to be done, so why not enjoy it? Sebastian caught him one time and after freezing in place, Gilbert was delighted when he not only didn’t make fun of him, but just walked away and said, “Carry on Blythe. It’s nice to see you so happy.”

So today, in his exuberance, he slid and danced from room to room and sang, _“‘_ _Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick; the one that makes me scream’ she said. ‘The one that makes me laugh’ she said. And threw her arms around my neck. Show me how you do it and I promise you, I promise that I'll run away with you. I'll run away with you._

_Spinning on that dizzy edge, I kissed her face and kissed her head and dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow. ‘Why are you so far away,’ she said. Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you. That I'm in love with you. You, soft and only. You, lost and lonely. You, strange as angels. Dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water. You’re just like a dream, you’re just like a dream._

_Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for days. And moving lips to breathe her name I opened up my eyes. And found myself alone, alone. Alone above a raging sea, that stole the only girl I loved, and drowned her deep inside of me. You, soft and lonely. You, lost and lonely. You, just like heaven._ ”

Putting the toys away had gone quickly and by the time he had finished the song he was almost done. He started to sing it again, since it was thoroughly stuck in his head, laughed to himself as he put on his cologne, grabbed his wallet and keys and headed toward the stairs to go get his laundry so he could finish getting dressed.

As he descended, he sang one last time, “ _Spinning on that dizzy edge_ _, I kissed her face and kissed her head and dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow. ‘Why are you so far away,’ she said. Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you. That I'm in love with_ **Anne**?! Holy shit!” he exclaimed as his heart raced in surprise.

“Ugh, if only,” she muttered to herself.

“You scared the crap out of me,” he said as he leaned over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

She remained lying on his couch, sunglasses on and motionless and spoke quietly, “I’m sorry. Really. I know you’re private about your house, but it was raining and windy and I was getting wet and Diana had to drop me off early and I figured you would probably be okay with it since you invited me here. I obviously didn’t mean to break into your house. Well, I did but, I tried to not have to.”

Gilbert smiled as he listened to her needlessly apologize and asked, “Would it help if I told you I’m happy you’re here?”

“Yes.”

“It’s really good to see you.”

“Thanks. I texted you.”

“I haven’t looked at my phone since I got in the shower. It’s in the kitchen.”

“I rang the doorbell and knocked.”

“I assume I was showering when that happened. You know I would have been mad if you waited outside in the rain instead of coming in. I was just surprised, I’m not used to seeing, well, anyone in my house, besides the people who live here. How long have you been here?”

“Like, twenty minutes?”

“You could have called up to me. I’ve been out of the shower for a while now.”

“And miss that performance? Hell no. I love listening to you sing. Especially when you think no one can hear you. You sound so…”

“Untrained and out of practice?”

“Free and authentic.”

If Anne’s eyes had been open, she would have seen Gilbert blush, but instead she just heard him say, “Oh. I think that’s good?”

“It’s good. In my opinion you’ve never sounded better. And I’m pretty hungover, so factor that in as well.”

“Then I will take it as the highest compliment because you can be mean as hell when you are hungover.”

He walked over to the couch and holding out his hand to help her up said, “Come on, I got you something.”

She took it and let him pull her all the way into the kitchen, their hands not separating until he sat her on a stool at the island and went to make her coffee. She had finally opened her eyes all the way, noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt and was grateful she was wearing sunglasses so he wouldn’t see her stare at him. He was facing away from her at the moment, grinding the beans and filling the machine so she lowered her glasses, looked at him, involuntarily licked her lips, then reluctantly put her sunglasses back in place.

 _It’s just a back,_ she told herself. _It’s just the back of a human person. A very smooth, perfectly toned, extremely attractive human person. Did he always wear his jeans so low? Turn around, Gil, let’s see the abs. Ah, there they are, you pretty, pretty boy._

“Damn,” she whispered to herself.

He leaned over the counter on his elbows and looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed while he waited for the coffee to brew.

“Anne?”

“Yeah?”

“I asked you what you were thinking about, you look like you’re planning something nefarious.”

He was so close. _If I stood up right now and leaned over the island just a bit, I would have no problem kissing him._

“Anne?”

“Nefarious? No. Unexpected? Maybe. Overdue? Perhaps. But ever unfulfilled, so nothing to worry about.”

“Care to share?”

“No. Why are you so tan?” she asked.

“Because it’s July and I spend all day, almost every day, outside.”

“Do you not wear a shirt?”

“Not always. Sometimes I get hot,” he said quietly.

She cleared her throat and said in a voice that wasn’t quite her own, “Skin cancer is still a concern for people who tan, Gilbert. Watch yourself.”

“I wear sunscreen, Carrots,” he said. “But I appreciate your concern for my health.”

He pushed himself up and went to get a travel mug for Anne. He put in some caramel syrup, poured in the coffee, added some milk and some hot chocolate powder, stirred it up and handed it off to her.

“Why do you have caramel syrup?”

“I thought you would like it so I went out last night and got some. Try it.”

She took off her sunglasses, looked at the concoction and said, “It looks really dark for how I usually like my coffee.”

“Just try it, Anne. Trust me.”

She took a sip and her eyes opened wide in surprise.

“Oh my god this is amazing,” she said and looked up to find him smiling down at her. “You are so fucking thoughtful you’re going to make me cry.”

He laughed and said, “I’m glad you like it.”

She took another drink and savored it. Gilbert watched her, reminiscing about the day they met, and soon he was laughing.

“What?”

“Come on Anne, don’t you remember? You must know by now how much I love watching you enjoy your coffee.”

“If that’s all it takes to makes you happy, I’m here for it. Just let me know if you need anything more.”

Gilbert poured himself some coffee, trying not to read into what she just said. _Anything more? Yes, I’d like more thank you. What is it that I want? Just you, forever, don’t worry about it._

Anne noticed that, like usual, Gilbert took his coffee black. The effort he put into making her beverage was done intentionally and entirely for her, just to make her happy.

She smiled at the realization and asked, “When did you want to head out?”

“Now, if you’re ready. I just need to grab my shirt from the dryer.”

A couple minutes later they left the house. It had stopped raining and the sun finally decided to make an appearance. When they got in the car, Gilbert asked her, “What do you want to listen to while you recover?”

“Say Anything please. Start with _Cemetery_ and _Ahh…Men_ and then just let it play through the rest of the album.”

He laughed and said, “I love how bleak you are when you’re hungover.”

“Because usually I’m such a ray of fucking sunshine?”

“No, Anne. Because usually, you are the sun.”

She groaned, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? You are way too nice to me.”

“You’re supposed to say, ‘Thanks Gilbert, I think you’re pretty great too.’”

She laughed and said, “Your impression of me is not flattering.”

“Nope, but at least I made you smile.”

“Thanks Gilbert, I think you’re pretty great too.”

“Was that so hard?”

“It was much easier than what I wanted to say.”

“What did you want to say?”

_That I love you and that when you say things like that to me, I lose the ability to think._

“Nothing you would see coming. That’s for damn sure.”

***

The ride there was comfortable and friendly, somehow seeming like no time had passed since they had seen each other and also like they had so much to catch up on. They arrived at their destination sooner than either of them would have liked since they were having so much fun in the car and neither of them wanted to go into the store.

“For not having been here before you certainly didn’t have a hard time finding the place,” Anne accused.

“You calling me a liar?”

“It’s just rather suspicious, that’s all.”

“It’s not suspicious to look up directions to a store before you plan on going there.”

They got out of the car and leaned against it, staring at the entrance.

“Before we go in there, let’s just acknowledge that this might be a little awkward,” she said.

“You think?”

“I do. Why do you think stores like this still exist when you can buy everything online?” Anne asked.

“I don’t know, maybe for the sense of community?” Gilbert joked.

“Seriously, wouldn’t shopping online be more comfortable for people?”

“Maybe for some. Definitely for us. But I’m sure not everyone is uncomfortable coming here, otherwise, like you said, they wouldn’t be around. You can buy everything you need online, but you still love walking around stores.”

“That’s different. That’s like therapy for me.”

“Well, who says this isn’t the same thing?”

“I’m sick of you and your logic,” she said as they started walking toward the entrance. Gilbert reached for the door and she said, “Gilbert Blythe if you hold that door open for me, I’m going to punch you.”

He opened the door for her, smiled cheekily and said, “After you, honey.”

“You just love pissing me off, don’t you?”

“Yes. I do. Plus- it is so easy. You are bothered by the weirdest things.”

“Challenge accepted.”

“That wasn’t a challenge, Anne.”

“Sure it was.”

“Can’t wait. What you do need? Just some candy?”

“Probably. I don’t even know what there is though. Any ideas?”

“Why don’t we just do a lap and see if anything catches your eye.”

“Pretty sure everything will catch my eye. Not exactly my natural habitat here. Holy fuck, is that how big they are?”

Gilbert audibly groaned, “Do you want me to actually answer that or was it rhetorical? Keep in mind that there is a correct answer to this question.”

“Answer please.”

“That was not the correct answer. Um,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “Well, like anything else, they come in a variety of sizes, so theoretically speaking there are guys out there who are that big. That being said, if you were in the market for something like that, I wouldn’t recommend you start there, you know, medically speaking.”

She laughed and said, “You’re such a nerd.”

“Shut up, you asked. I was just trying to be helpful.”

“You’re a good actor, Gil, but I can tell you’re just as uncomfortable here as I am.”

“I swear to you: I am so much more uncomfortable right now than you are. It isn’t even close.”

Anne was about to ask him why when they were approached by a clerk.

“Welcome to A Long Time Coming! Are you two looking for something to spice up the night?”

“Ah, no. I um, I’m looking for some things that might be fun to have at a bachelorette party. I’ve not planned one before and I’m about as inexperienced with all this,” she said gesturing around, “As you can possibly be, so, any advice?”

“Oh! Okay, sorry I assumed you were together. What you want is going to be over here. We actually have a party section,” she said as she led them across the store. “Here we have some candy, straws, Pin the Junk on the Hunk, cake pans, hats, and down there you’ll find necklaces and balloons. Pretty much any of your normal party accoutrements come in a penis version.”

“Damn, there’s even penis pasta,” Anne said reverently, picking up the package. “That’s fantastic.”

“Right?!” the clerk agreed. “If you want something funny, the Penis Blowouts are really fantastic.”

“What are those?”

“Those things you blow into on New Year’s Eve?”

“Oh, right, of course. Except...”

“A growing penis, yeah.”

Anne laughed, “You’re right, that’s excellent.”

“Well, I’m definitely getting the pasta. And I think the straws and the gummies. No need to go overboard. Though the pinata could be fun.”

“That is not the kind of action one should be inflicting on a penis,” Gilbert said mostly to himself, though Anne heard him and laughed.

“Do you need a gift for the bride at all?” the clerk asked.

“Ah crap, yeah I do. Any recommendations?”

“Lingerie is usually a safe bet. We also have edible panties, flavored condoms, things like that.”

“Let’s do the lingerie. Something classy but sexy.”

“I would suggest you choose from these, over here,” she said, leading them again across the store.

As they stood there looking at the selection, Anne could tell that Gilbert was growing even more uncomfortable.

“What do you think Gil?” she asked.

“I think I’m taking no part in this.”

“Come on! I need your help! How am I supposed to know what guys find attractive?”

“If a guy knows he’s about to have sex with someone he loves he shouldn’t give a fuck about what you’re wearing. Also, you can talk me into a lot of things but I sure as hell am not going to help pick out lingerie for Diana, who is pretty much my sister, to wear while she has sex with one of my best friends.”

“Why are you making such a fuss? She won’t be wearing it when they are actually having sex.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I’m not trying to help. Let’s do a corset,” Anne said to the clerk. “Di loves a corset.”

“Excellent choice. Just let me know what color you want. And of course, it comes with matching crotchless panties.”

“Oh, of course. That’s **great** news actually. It looks like you were right, Gil! She’ll be able to wear it the whole time!” She turned to him and stared into his eyes and emphasized every word as she said, “The. Entire. Fucking. Time.”

He was impressed. She had gone from timid, uncomfortable and completely out of her element to running the show in about five minutes.

“I concede defeat. Such a vivid depiction of Diana having sex is my breaking point,” he said with a friendly smile.

 _Too friendly,_ Anne thought and prepared herself for retribution.

He leaned down and his lips rested her ear as he whispered, “As ever, you are the master, but you know I don’t go down without a fight.”

Anne knew he felt her shiver because she felt him smile against her ear.

“You play dirty, Blythe,” she accused him.

He smirked at her and turned around and started to leave the store, but she wasn’t giving up.

She cleared her throat and called out after him, “Wait! Gil? Sweetie? What color lingerie should we get your sister?”

“Blue!”

“Thank you, honey!”

She saw his shoulders shake with laughter and she tuned back to the clerk.

“So you **are** together then?”

“No. Just friends. You can kill me now please.”

She laughed and said, “Unfortunately just friends?”

“Unfortunately. Not sure how much longer I can go on like this.”

“Hang in there. You’ll figure it out.”

Anne paid, with cash, and went out to Gilbert’s car. He started the car and they headed back to Avonlea.

“So?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Fine. You win.”

“Ha! Yeah I did!”

“But if we ever do that again, you can’t use involuntary biological reactions. That’s not fair.”

“Sure it is.”

“No it isn’t. Words only.”

A few minutes later Anne asked, “Were you serious?”

“Probably. I usually am. About what though?”

“Does a guy really not care what a woman is wearing when they, you know?”

“It’s amusing that you ask me this like I have so much more experience here than you do. You know my dating history. It is nearly as limited as yours.”

“But you have much more experience being a heterosexual guy. From what society is telling me, a guy wants to see a girl in lingerie and that is the hottest way for her to, for lack of a better term, present herself for sex. And I know you can’t like, speak for all men here, but what is your opinion?”

_Are other guys tortured like this? Does she have absolutely no idea how I feel about her? If she did, she wouldn’t do this to me, right?_

He took a deep breath and said, “My opinion is what I said before. If I loved a woman and she was willingly having sex with me, I wouldn’t give a damn what she was wearing. That’s not to say that seeing a woman in lingerie isn’t appealing though, because obviously, it is, or it wouldn’t be a thing. Like anything else, the most beautiful woman you know in real life, who you find stunning when she is wearing a crappy pair of sweats, looks beautiful when she’s all dressed up as well. Not necessarily more beautiful, but it’s just different and it leaves an impression because it just doesn’t happen very much. I think, besides just looking good, the thing that makes lingerie so attractive would be knowing the consideration the woman put into selecting it with me in mind. Knowing that someone I love took the time to pick out something special, that she thinks I would enjoy, just to have me take it off of her? **That** is hot.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, having gotten through the explanation without passing out, and hoped that the conversation would come to an end.

“Damn, Gilbert, you have got to be the most articulate person I know. Did you have that answer prepared or something?”

“Kind of, yeah. After I said something about it in the store, I knew it would come around and bite me in the ass so I started preparing an answer for you because I didn’t want to look like an idiot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You are really, quite predictable,” he teased.

“If I told you half the things I think, I believe you’d disagree.”

“Change my mind. I dare you.”

“Maybe someday. Do you really worry about looking like an idiot?”

“Generally, no. I know I’m smarter than almost everyone I know. Of our peers anyway. But do I worry about looking like an idiot in front of you? Yeah, sometimes.”

She laughed, “How could you possibly worry about that? You are so much smarter than I am.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just studying something generally considered ‘harder.’ But you have a much easier time helping me with my work than I do helping you with yours, despite not taking any of the same classes. And there are more ways than just academically that I can be an idiot. Also, your opinion of me matters. So yeah, I don’t want you to think I’m an idiot.”

“Now I’m starting to feel really bad for all those times I’ve called you an idiot.”

“Don’t. I usually deserve it. One of the reasons I like you so much is that you don’t just say what’s easy to hear. You keep me accountable.”

“And here I thought I was just being a sarcastic bitch.”

“Sometimes you are. But don’t worry, I like that side of you too. I thought we’d stop and get lunch in town before heading back to my house, is that okay?”

“Sounds good. Anything I need to know about Avonlea?”

“I don’t think so. It’s a lot like New London from what I saw.”

“Where are we eating?”

“We have this old timey diner I thought you might like, but if you’d rather get something healthier, we can do that too.”

“I’m still coming down from this hangover. Fill me up with grease, please.”

“That’s what I figured.”

***

Thirty minutes later they arrived at the diner in Avonlea.

“This place is adorable.”

“I thought you’d think so. And they have the best malts in the world.”

“You know I love a good malt.”

“Yes, I do.”

They sat down and enjoyed lunch together, completely oblivious to barrage of stares and attention they received from the other patrons who came and went throughout the busy lunch hour. They split a salad, Gilbert got a turkey club (the same thing John used to get whenever they came here) and a chocolate malt and Anne got a cheeseburger and a strawberry malt. Anne asked to try his sandwich, which he happily shared, and they split their malts as well, neither of them able to decide which one was better.

The waitress had just delivered their bills and they were laughing hard remembering a disagreement they had last spring about jam and jelly when they were politely interrupted.

“Excuse me, Gilbert, may I have a word?”

“Shit, Gil, you never said she was British!” Anne exclaimed, instantly feeling inferior despite knowing Gilbert’s opinion of Winifred.

He laughed and politely said, “She’s British. Hi Winnie, how are you?”

“I’m doing quite well, you?”

“Same. Anne, this is Winnie, Winnie, this is Anne.”

“Nice to meet you, Anne. Is that with or without an E?”

“With. Thanks for asking. Love the accent by the way. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it, but it had to be said.”

Winifred laughed and admitted, “I actually don’t get sick of hearing it, so thank you. And I just love your hair; it is remarkable.”

“Oh!” Anne said in surprise, regretting how little effort she had put into her twin braids that day. “Thank you.”

Gilbert looked at Winifred skeptically and asked, “What can I do for you Winnie?”

“I was actually wondering if you would allow me to apologize to you.”

His skepticism changed to confusion and he asked, “Apologize? For what? I don’t think we’ve even spoken for a couple years now.”

“I wanted to apologize for how I treated you while we were dating. And no, I don’t have an ulterior motive this time. And even if I did it is quite apparent to everyone here how happy you two are together. I just wanted to offer my sincerest apologies for not, well honestly, for being a bitch when we were dating. If you could even call what we did dating.”

Gilbert laughed softly and said, “I appreciate the apology, thank you.”

Winifred laughed and said, “You’re not even going to pretend I wasn’t that awful?”

“It was pretty bad, but honestly, I should have done things differently back then too, so it’s not all on you. I’m sorry as well.”

“That’s kind of you, but I’m fully aware I talked you into that entire relationship. So, it is definitely on me.”

“Why the sudden apology? I wasn’t holding a grudge or anything; it was just a high school fling.”

“I’ve just gained some perspective, that’s all. And you didn’t need to hold a grudge for me to do the right thing.”

“Well, thank you. Really,” he said sincerely.

“You two have been together for a couple years now, haven’t you?” Winifred asked.

“Not really, no,” Gilbert said.

“Well, looks like your plan was effective then, huh Gil?” Anne asked him with her eyebrows raised.

“You know me; I’m quite the over achiever,” he said with a laugh.

“So now, it’s over a year later and apparently not only all of New London but all of Avonlea thinks we are dating as well. Way to go,” she said sarcastically.

“Meh- I could do a lot worse.”

“Why did you assume we were dating?” Anne asked, honestly not sure if it made her happy or sad. This was the second time today someone had assumed they were together and she wanted to know why.

“Well, I can see how much you are enjoying each other’s company. And I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there are four televisions in here and most people are just sitting around watching you two. It’s delightful to see you so happy again, Gilbert, none of us remember ever seeing you like this.”

“Well, my dad was dying, so yeah, that kind of bummed me out for a while.”

Anne couldn’t believe that Winifred kept going, “Also, everyone heard last summer that you were visiting a girl in New London. Then I heard from my friend Victoria that she was going to ask some devastatingly handsome guy out she saw at the bar there and she described him and the timing lined up so I figured it was you, Gilbert. But she said you had your arm around some pretty redhead the whole time and then you spent nearly a month away from the orchard.”

“Anne and I have been good friends since we met at school. I overheard your friend say that she was interested in asking me out. I was in New London helping Anne’s family through a medical emergency and I wasn’t really interested in being hit on by some random girl, so I asked Anne to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“Well, I suppose this is a bit awkward then, but just so you aren’t caught off guard, there’s quite a few people who are actually expecting to hear of your engagement soon. After all, it has been a couple years.”

“Our what?” Gilbert asked.

“Quite a few people?” Anne squeaked.

Gilbert looked up at the ceiling, exasperated. _I hate this fucking small town._

“Well… um… probably most the town, if I’m being honest. You must realize how it looks. I wasn’t the only one who saw that hug you gave her at the fair a couple years ago, then last summer you were together for nearly a month and now you come here? And sit in **this** booth? That’s why everyone has been watching you all morning. They’re waiting to see the big event. Everyone knows your father proposed to your mother here, Gilbert.”

Anne’s hands flew to her face in an effort to cool herself down and hide from the situation.

“No, Winnie, not everyone knows, but thank you for making Anne uncomfortable with completely irrelevant information. You can tell ‘everyone’ that this is just where the hostess happened to seat us. I brought Anne here because I knew she would like the food. I didn’t arrange this so I could propose to a woman I’m not dating and then get rejected in front of everyone. Though I want to know what impression I’ve given anyone in Avonlea that I would ever care to share such a private moment with the entire town.”

“Gil, it’s fine. Really,” Anne said, trying to calm him down, “Quick question though: Why does everyone know how your parents got engaged?”

Winnie looked at her like she was an idiot and pointed to a picture on the wall above their booth of a man, who was the spitting image of Gilbert, posing with a beautiful woman with long, dark, wavy hair.

Anne got up on her knees and got closer to the picture, looking back and forth from Gilbert to his father, barely able to tell them apart; and she knew Gilbert’s features better than anyone.

“Holy shit, you look like your dad.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.”

“Well, I guess I owe you another apology. Sorry. To you both. For assuming that, well, yes, I’ll just be going. It was nice meeting you Anne.”

“Yeah. You too,” she said quietly, pretty sure it sounded like a lie, and it was.

“Bye, Gilbert. Enjoy the day with your girl… sorry… your friend.”

Once Winifred left the table, they sat there in silence while Anne let Gilbert have some time to look at the picture of his parents on the wall. It seemed to calm him down and he eventually looked away from it and finished his malt.

“So, what do you think?” she asked.

“About what?”

“What was more awkward? This shitshow or talking about Diana in lingerie?”

Gilbert laughed loudly as Anne stared back at him with a confident smile, happy that she could make him laugh.

“I think they both had their moments. Are you ready to go?” he asked.

Anne looked around the restaurant. They were still receiving looks from the entire room.

“Very.”

He moved to get up and took her bill with him.

“Hell no, you are not going to pay for my food! What the hell?”

“I have more money than you.”

“That’s debatable. It’s not like either of us have a ton to spare.”

“It’s not debatable. I have more money than you.”

“You don’t know that. And you can’t just steal my bill.”

“I do know that and yes I can.”

“How do you **know** you have more money than I do?”

“Because I own a house, a company and I sold a lighthouse last year. I don’t spend a lot of money. But I have plenty, I sprung this on you with no warning and subjected you to what I’m assuming was one of the most awkward lunches of your life. I’m buying you lunch,” he said as he walked away from her.

“Sure, pay for my lunch! That’ll stop the rumors!” she said as she jogged to catch up.

He smoothly put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him as they continued walking to the entrance to pay.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked him quietly.

“Anne. If they are going to talk, we might as well give them something to talk about. Let’s just confuse the hell out of them. Maybe they’ll learn to mind their own damn business.”

“I doubt it, but I’m game,” she said as she put her arm around his waist. She took the opportunity to tickle his ribs and he flinched and laughed in response.

***

“So, I was kind of half sleeping when Diana dropped me off. How much land do you have? This looks massive.”

“Twenty-five acres.”

“I take it I’ll be meeting Sebastian and Delphine then? I thought they would have been there this morning.”

“No. I would never spring him on you without a warning. He’s in Charlottetown for the day with his girlfriend.”

“I didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

“He’s dating my favorite teacher from high school.”

“Is that awkward?”

“No. It’s awesome. They are both so happy. She lost her husband after only being married a year, so they have a lot in common. They aren’t rushing into anything, but I think it will stick.”

“I promise, this is the last time I’ll ask you this, but are you embarrassed to have me around?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“I think everyone we know has met Bash except for me. All the guys have for sure. And obviously Diana as well.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “You not having met Bash is not at **all** about you, Anne. And I’m really sorry that you thought it was. I thought you were always joking when you brought this up. Bash just likes to tease me and I don’t really want you to hear it.”

“What does he tease you about?”

Gilbert was quiet as he tried to form a response. He tried to say it wasn’t important, but it was important. He tried to say it didn’t matter, but it did, more than anything.

“Something I deserve to be teased about, so it makes it extra painful. No need to add witnesses.”

He was relieved when his house came into view and she changed the subject on her own.

“You know you have the cutest house in the world, right?”

“You think my house is cute?”

“It’s adorable.”

Gilbert had never thought about it. It was just his house. He pulled up to it and sat there staring at it for a moment, trying to see it with fresh eyes.

“It’s over a hundred years old and made of stones,” he said doubtfully. “How is it adorable?”

“It looks like it belongs in a story book.”

“Damsel in distress trapped here by an evil witch, waiting to be rescued by a prince?”

“Damsel in distress escapes confines of stuffy palace and comes to a woodland retreat. Prince shows up, interrupts her chance at some self-care, damsel punches prince and lives happily ever after.”

“Lucky bastard. At least he didn’t get a concussion from a lamp post,” he said and she laughed. “Come on then.”

They walked into the house and he took her on a tour of the place.

“This isn’t what I expected,” she said honestly as they returned to the kitchen.

“What did you expect?”

“Um, messy bachelor pad?”

“Right… but this is **my** house, and I’m not messy. Not usually anyway. And Bash is a fully functioning adult with a child. There needs to be some semblance of order.”

“Is it weird to like, actually own a house?”

“I wish it were weirder,” he said as he looked through the mail he grabbed on the way in, dividing it into piles for Sebastian and himself. “But no, unfortunately it’s been long enough since dad died that it isn’t really weird anymore. It just is what it is.”

He opened one of the letters, sighed and then set the mail aside.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes. Everything is as expected anyway.”

“Wow that’s vague. Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No.”

“You look really concerned about something.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re lying.”

“No. I’m not. It’s just,” Gilbert took a deep breath and said, “Sit.”

She sat on the stool she used earlier that day and looked up at him as he carefully considered what he was about to say.

“I’m not lying to you. I’m just keeping something from you.”

“Is that better?”

“I’m not sure. I guess we’ll find out. So, unfortunately you know that there are a variety of ways life insurance policies can be paid out.”

“Yes, unfortunately I do.”

“For example, yours was held until you turned eighteen and then you were free to do with it as you wish.”

“Yep.”

“Well, my dad did something interesting with his. When he died, I got a portion of the policy right away. Enough to cover funeral expenses, get me through undergrad, cover rent, the basics and help keep the orchard running. The house and land have been in the family for generations and are owned outright so luckily that isn’t a concern. But for now, we definitely still need to work the orchard and try to make a profit, which we have been doing. With Bash’s help, we’ve been doing really great actually.”

“Good to hear.”

“But there’s more. I get the rest when I turn twenty-five, so right after I start med school. The letter I read was just the yearly statement reminding me that the anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up confirming the payout. And it’s plenty.”

“How plenty?”

“Enough to cover med school, rent and books. Everything really. Plus some.”

“That’s amazing!”

“Yeah. It is.”

“You’re not actually going to tell me how much it is, are you.”

He laughed and said, “I hadn’t planned on it, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because then how will I know that you’re actually a friend and not just after my money?” he joked.

“You’re right. I’ve been in this for three years now just waiting for you to be able to pay for med school? What?” she asked, laughing at the absurdity.

“Honestly, I don’t know why I don’t want people to know. I guess I’ve never had money. So it makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t want people to talk about it.”

“Are we talking, like Barry money here?”

He laughed, “I really, really doubt it.”

“But you’re not sure…”

“All I know is that I will be okay for a while. And it’s going to be nice not having to worry having about it while I’m in school.”

“You don’t need to tell me Gilbert. But I’m really happy to know that you’ll be comfortable. Have you thought about where you’re going to school at all? Do you know where you’ve been accepted?”

“Yes and yes and no I haven’t made a decision.”

“Which ones were you accepted at?”

“All of them.”

“I told you!”

“You did.”

“You got into every med school?”

“All the ones I applied to.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re like, really, **really** smart.”

“Almost as smart as you.”

“Shut up.”

“What about you? Have you thought any more about grad school?”

She smiled sweetly at him and said, “You’re funny. We’ve been over this. We don’t all have a treasure chest awaiting us, Gilbert.”

“No. But I do.”

“No.”

“Anne, just hear me out,” he said.

“No, no, no, no, no.”

“Please just give me a-”

“No! Do not even-”

“Anne!”

“I think I’m going to be sick. How dare you-”

“Anne! Just listen to me for one fucking minute. It is so much money. So, so much. Sebastian won’t take anything more from me because I already gave him half my house and half the company, but he’s allowing me to set up a generous college fund for Delphine so at least that’s something. Charlie and Diana both come from wealthy families, they don’t need it. And I’m not saying that you **need** it. But if you **want** to go to grad school, I don’t want the lack of money to stop you. If you want to go, I want you to go, and I promise I expect nothing in return. I would never want you to feel like you owe me anything. I just wouldn’t be able to watch you give up your dream if I have the opportunity to change it. What would you do if it was the other way around? Would you be able to watch me work myself sick trying to get through med school if you had a buttload of money sitting around doing nothing?”

She was back on her feet, yelling at him, “Of course I would want to help you but I don’t even know what a buttload of money is! From my perspective not even a buttload covers medical school! Gilbert! Damn it! We went to a sex shop together today where we played a game of who can make the other more uncomfortable, we were accosted by your ex-girlfriend at lunch who told us this whole fucking town is waiting for you to propose to me and yet somehow this conversation, right now, is the most ridiculous thing that has happened today! You know what? I’ve gotten used to people assuming we’re dating, it happens all the time, and whatever. And I can talk about Diana fucking Jerry all day long if it means I get to watch you squirm, but I don’t even know how to have a conversation about this! We are talking hypotheticals on top of hypotheticals here!”

Gilbert tried to stay calm and said, “You’re acting like I haven’t thought this through.”

“You probably haven’t!”

“Because you know me to be someone who just does whatever the fuck I want on a whim? Fuck, Anne, I spent ten minutes decided what fucking t-shirt to wear today! I’ve been thinking about what to do with this money for four years! I promise I’ve been through all the options!”

“Fine. You have some set aside for Dellie. What about **your** future children?”

“I only want two and I think a hundred grand each is a decent starting point. That’s how much Dellie is getting as well. If there are more kids, that’ll be something to consider when and if that happens and all signs indicate it’s way down the road.”

“What about a house?”

“I have a house.”

“You hate Avonlea.”

“I might not always, and I have the income from the orchard. I will keep making money until I figure it out. And it doesn’t matter! I can always make more money! I’m not going to hoard my money away for some hypothetical while you are not able to follow your dream just because of money!”

“I’m not going to let you waste your money on me!”

“It’s not a waste! Do you want to go to grad school?”

“I don’t- I can’t-?”

“No, Anne. It’s a simple question. Do you want to go to grad school? I’m not asking when, I’m asking if. Answer the damn question.”

“Yes. I want to go to grad school,” she said quietly.

“Then the money is yours. Please just take it. I’m begging you.”

“How can I do that? You don’t even know how much grad school is. I can’t just take a giant chunk of your money.”

Gilbert leaned over the countertop and rubbed his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and whispered, “It was a million-dollar policy, Anne.”

She sat down hard on the stool at his words.

“I got a fifth of it when he died and on November 11th, 2020, I will get eight hundred **thousand** dollars. And I have no idea what the fuck to do with it. What do you need? Hell, what do you want? Twenty thousand? Forty? Ninety? Do Marilla and Matthew need any? I don’t fucking care. This is money I have because I lost the only family I had left in the world and it is such hollow compensation. It’s like, mockingly large. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful he was so generous and so well prepared because I would be fucked without his foresight, but I don’t want this money just hanging around me.”

Anne said nothing as she tried to comprehend all he just said.

A minute later he continued, “I don’t want my bank account to be a constant reminder that I’m alone.”

She walked around the island and hugged him tightly.

“We’ve been over this. You’re **not** alone. You have a family. We may not be Blythes by name, but we love you and you need to start using us. Stop carrying everything by yourself, Gilbert. You said you’ve been thinking about this for four years? Ask for some fucking help next time before you explode again.”

He wrapped his arms around her tighter than he ever had before and was instantly calmed. Again, it had been too long since they last hugged. It was always too long since they last hugged. He wasn’t exaggerating when he told Diana he needed to see Anne. It **was** a need, not a want.

“And if it makes you feel better, I will consider it,” she whispered.

“Thank you.”

She leaned back and asked, “What other secrets are you keeping from me Gilbert Blythe? Surely nothing as mind-blowing as this?”

“I think we’re good on mind-blowing for the day, but it’s funny you should ask, because I was thinking about something this morning that I want to show you. And before you get mad, I didn’t intentionally keep this secret from you, but I can’t remember us ever talking about it, so if we haven’t, then I’m sorry.”

“Hold on, so what? We’re just going to ignore that whole conversation? Now we just go back to normal and pretend you aren’t crazy rich?”

“Yeah. Because I’m not. Yet. And I really don’t ever want to talk about this again. Does that work for you? I didn’t even want to talk about it this time but I’m sick of keeping secrets from you.”

“Yes. That works.”

“And I know it’s been a while, but isn’t that kind of how our arguments go?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“So come on then, I have something to show you.”

He led her out of the house and they walked over to the barn.

“This is a beautiful barn,” she said.

“Thanks. The east half is where we run the business out of in the fall. People can come pick their own apples, and we package some up for quick pick-up and we also have things like apple butter, apple cider and honey.”

“Who makes all that stuff?”

“Me and Bash and the bees? Rachel helps sometimes too and Miss Stacy, Bash’s girlfriend. That’s why I still come home on most weekends in the fall. There’s things to do.”

“So you work yourself dead at school every week and then come out here and work all weekend?”

“Yeah, but it’s a different kind of work. More physical. So at least my brain gets a break. It’s like you at Green Gables. Does it really seem like work?”

“Only when I’m in a bad mood.”

“Exactly. And it’s hard to be in a bad mood around Bash and Delphine so I don’t mind it. We aren’t going to the east side of the barn though.”

“Alright, let’s head west then.”

They got to the door and Gilbert hesitated.

“Um, how do you feel about animals?”

“Um… I’m pro-animal I guess?” she said with a laugh. “I’ve never had a pet or anything, but I’m not against them.

“Good.”

He opened the door, impulsively took her hand and led her through the threshold.

“Oh my god you have a horse!” she exclaimed as her hands flew to cover her mouth in surprise. She was instantly overwhelmed with emotion and cried, “He’s so beautiful!”

“Anne? Are you crying? Because of a horse?”

“I don’t know what’s happening!”

“Good, because I don’t either. Was this a bad idea? Do you want to go? I really thought you would like this.”

“I do! I promise! It’s just…” she took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Did you see that clip of Kristin Bell when she found out she was going to meet a sloth?”

“No.”

“Oh you should. It’s freaking hilarious. I think this is like that. It’s just a lot to take in. Son of a bitch this is embarrassing!”

“No. You don’t need to be embarrassed about anything with me. I told you that. And by the way it’s not ‘he’ it’s ‘she.’ ‘She’ is so beautiful. And her name is Esme.”

“Oh Esme, you **are** beautiful. Can I?” she asked gesturing toward the horse.

“Pet her? Yeah, go for it. She loves people.”

Anne reached out and stroked the horse’s neck and yelped in surprise when Esme rested her head on Anne’s shoulder, seemingly giving her a hug. Anne reached up and gently hugged her back.

“Has Gilbert been neglecting you, Esme? Holding back those hugs? Or do you just long for female companionship?”

Esme neighed.

“I know you can’t understand me and that was just wonderful timing, but I’m totally going to interpret that as being a sign that I can talk to animals, yes I am. And no one is ever going to convince me otherwise. No, not even Mr. Logical over there. My word, you are stunning. Did you know that? Just breathtaking.”

Gilbert stood back watching Anne, thankful that there was no one there watching him because he was sure the look on his face was about as dopey as it could get.

“Anne,” he said quietly, “Do you want to go for a ride?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Hell yes I do! Is that okay Esme? Can you haul me around for a bit?”

Gilbert got Esme prepped to ride and Anne delighted in watching him work, thankful that no one was there to watch her watch him. They walked out of the barn and he tied her to a post.

“I didn’t think this through. You’re going to want to borrow some pants.”

“Whose pants?”

“My pants. They’ll be big, but the alternative is much worse. I promise.”

He ran back inside and grabbed her a pair of track pants to throw on over what she was wearing.

“This is not my best look.”

 _You have never looked better,_ he thought to himself.

“You look great. Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“No. Is that a problem?”

“No.”

He led them over to the steps of the front porch so it wouldn’t be so hard to get on, showed her how to mount the horse and she got it on the first try.

“Well done. Nudge her with your heel to go forward. Pull back on the reins gently to slow down. She will only walk with anyone who isn’t me, so you don’t need to worry about losing control. Feel free to explore for a while.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“I hadn’t planned on it. I only have the one horse; I’m not hiding another one out back,” he said laughing a little nervously.

She looked behind her and saw that the saddle was made for two. “Well, there seems to be an empty seat. Can she carry both of us?”

“Yes…”

“Then come on.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she said and moved back into the smaller seat.

He climbed up and asked her, “Anything in particular you want to see?”

“Diana said you had a lighthouse.”

“Diana exaggerates. I told you; I sold the lighthouse.”

“Let’s go!”

At that, the horse took off, understanding Anne’s words and knowing Gilbert was on her back. Anne wrapped her arms around Gilbert’s waist tightly in an effort to not fall off.

“Sorry, I should have told you not to say that,” Gilbert yelled back to her as he slowed the horse down.

They continued at a trot and he asked, “Is this better?”

“Yes,” she said, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath of fresh air. She let her arms remain around him and rested her chin on his shoulder. “This is so completely freeing that I can almost forgive you for not mentioning that you have a horse and not inviting me over sooner.”

“If it helps, I don’t forgive myself. Had I known it would make you so happy, I would’ve asked you to come back with me the fall that we met.”

“Hey Bash, meet Anne, the girl who gave me a concussion,” Anne said. “I’m sure that would have gone well.”

Gilbert continued the hypothetical conversation with Sebastian’s accent, “Oh Anne, my queen, you have accomplished what I have so often desired. Bless you, my angel.”

Anne laughed and said, “Diana mentioned he would like me more than he likes you.”

“She’s right.”

“Tell me why you named your horse Esme.”

“It’s short for Esmerelda. We kind of had a Disney thing going on. Our first horse was copper colored, and I was five and dad let me name her, so her name was-”

“Let me guess. Ariel?” Anne asked with a laugh.

“Yep. When she died, we got a brown horse and named her-”

“Belle?”

“Exactly.”

“So why not Jasmine?”

“Short story? The wavy black mane.”

“What’s the long story?”

“You saw the picture of my parents at the diner. Most people think I only look like my father, but if you look closely, I have my mother’s hair. The color and the curl come from her; dad’s hair wasn’t quite as dark as mine and was much straighter. He picked out this horse because it reminded him of my mother. He wanted to continue the whole Disney thing, and Esmerelda had the most similar look.”

“I wish I could have met your dad,” she whispered and then immediately regretted it.

“Me too,” he whispered back.

“Really?”

“Really. Though he would have liked you better than me too.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s true. If it matters, I like you better than I like me too.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond and asked, “So, what do you think?”

She looked at the lighthouse and said, “I think it’s really old and not as big as I thought it would be.”

“Want to go in?”

“Is it open?”

“No. Do you want to go in?”

“How?”

“It was part of the deal.”

“What deal?”

“I gave the historical society a good price and they gave me a key.”

He got the key from under a rock, unlocked the door and held it open for her.

“Ladies first.”

“Do you know me at all? I’m no lady,” she said and entered the structure.

They climbed the tower and looked out across the ocean.

“How does a person come to be in possession of a lighthouse?”

“I’m sure there’s a very interesting story to explain that, but honestly? I have no idea. I was looking over property details when I returned with Bash. I obviously always knew it was here, but I didn’t know I owned it until then. I knew I couldn’t take care of it though and didn’t want it to fall apart, so I figured out a way to make it work.”

“Do you come out here often?”

“Not really. But it’s nice to have the option.”

They stood there gazing out at the horizon in silence for a few minutes until Anne turned and said, “What now?”

“Up to you. What do you want to do?”

“I want to ride the horse again.”

“Our early season apples are ripening on the other side of the orchard; did you want to see if they’re ready?”

“Hell yes I do. Diana has raved about your apples.”

“And you doubt her opinion?”

“I think she is biased and that her opinions are colored by happy memories.”

“And you aren’t biased?” he asked.

“I’m just here to keep you level-headed.”

“Well, you are doing a terrible job.”

“How?”

_Because spending time with you makes me feel like the most important person in the world._

“Never mind. Come on. I’m eager to hear your opinion of my mediocre apples that haven’t won any awards, and don’t bring in tourists from all around PEI. And they definitely weren’t part of a welcome gift given on behalf of the island for the queen when she last came to Canada.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I couldn’t possibly be, right? Afterall, they’re just apples. Mediocre ones at that.”

“You’re going to feel so stupid if I hate them.”

“Anne. You won’t hate them. And you’re not a good enough liar to pretend that you do. And most importantly, I love proving you wrong.”

“You never prove me wrong!”

“I prove you wrong every damn day! I told you we’d be best friends and you said we would never see each other again. Every single fucking day you are my friend is another day that I win.”

“Son of a bitch,” she said, realizing that he was right.

“How’s it feel, loser?” he asked as he laughed at her baffled expression.

“Just take me to your apples, Gil. Let’s just see what happens.”

They made their way across the orchard and ten minutes later Gilbert was walking around under the trees, seeking out the ripest apple he could find.

He picked one and offered it to her, saying, “Here. They’re real sweet.”

He spent considerably less time picking one for Esme to enjoy and Anne watched him stroke her neck and hug her while feeding the horse and she smiled. Then she bit into the juiciest, crispest and sweetest apple she had ever tasted. The moment was so magnificent that it brought tears to her eyes.

Gilbert quickly noticed, started laughing and asked, “Pretty crappy then?”

She chewed, swallowed and sarcastically said, “Worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. How dare you,” and then took another large bite and shut her eyes to savor the experience.

There were no words that adequately described the sensation; it was overwhelming. The apple, the setting, just being here with him was almost too much to handle, but this time, instead of pretending it was just another day and continuing her sarcastic rebuke of him, she let herself act on her appreciation. She got down from the horse and ran into him, hugging him from behind.

He laughed and said, “What’s this for?”

“It’s for you. Thank you for letting me come here.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t invite you here sooner. Seems stupid that it took so long.”

They slowly walked back to his house with Anne leading the horse. They let Esme wander around on her own for a while and they went inside. Gilbert made them tea and Anne got comfortable on the couch, completely at home in what she had to agree with Diana was indeed her spirit house.

Gilbert sat down on the other side of the couch as Anne admitted, “I think I’m going to fall asleep.”

Gilbert laughed softly and said, “Make yourself at home.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m lying,” he said sarcastically. “If you want to rest, go for it. Do whatever you want.”

She thought about where she felt most at home, left the corner of the couch, put her head on his lap and fell asleep.

Gilbert had been caught off guard by her actions. Sure, she had slept on him before, but never from him suggesting she make herself at home. He absentmindedly played with one of her braids as he checked his phone and chatted with Diana.

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_So…_

_So what Diana._

_How’s it going?_

_Fine._

_Just fine?  
What are you doing?_

_Resting.  
She’s sleeping.  
I’m talking to you.  
You could’ve told me the whole town thought  
I was about to propose to Anne, by the way.  
That made for a fun lunch at the diner._

_OMG.  
Sorry, I didn’t even think about that.  
How’d she take it._

_Really well.  
Winnie was the one who told us.  
So that was interesting._

_BAHAHAHAHAHA._

_Yeah. I thought you’d enjoy that.  
I helped pick out lingerie for you by the way.  
I hope knowing that ruins it for you._

_Seriously.  
How is it going?_

He took a picture of Anne and sent it to Diana.

_Happy?_

_Exceedingly.  
You?_

_No words._

_She’s going to be mad you took a picture of  
her without her knowing it._

_She knows I take pictures of her when she isn’t  
looking. If I waited for her approval I would have  
no pictures of her.  
It’s mutually accepted defiance of the rules._

_It’s disgusting that I can actually picture you  
two arguing about that._

_Bye Diana._

_TELL HER YOU LOVE HER._

_Not today._

Anne slept for about a half hour then slowly stretched and sat up.

“Alright. Thanks for that. What next?”

“Do you want to go fishing?”

“What?”

“Let’s go fishing. I had a dream about my dad last night and we were fishing. What do you say?”

“I say that I’m not going to be an asset to you here.”

“I don’t need to you be an asset, I just want you to come with me.”

“Really?”

“Always.”

“Always?”

“Always. Let’s go.”

***

They walked down to the lake where they found a canoe on the shore and a boat on a lift.

“You have boats. Like… plural.”

“I have a canoe and a fishing boat. My dad bought them. Not a big deal.”

“Can we take the canoe?” Anne asked giddily.

“I’d rather not. Fishing in a canoe isn’t the easiest thing to do. I like to stand to cast, and I’d rather not end up in the water.”

“That’s fair. Let’s take the boring boat. Also, you have a lake.”

“Yes, but it’s just a little one. And I only have half of it. The other half belongs to the Barrys. Have you been out on a boat before? Can you swim? Do you know how to fish?”

“Yes, yes and no. I grabbed a book from your house though, so I’m good.”

Gilbert felt his phone ring and he got it out to answer.

“Just a second. It’s Bash.”

He walked away from her, leaving her on the dock, and answered the video call, finding a somewhat annoyed Sebastian.

“Yeah.”

“Blythe, you told me you’d be checking in.”

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

“With what? You said you had no plans.”

“That changed.”

“So what are you up to?”

“Stuff.”

“Look at me boy.”

“What?”

“What has got you so distracted?”

“Nothing!”

“Blythe! Show me what you’re looking at!”

Gilbert switched the call to the camera mode and heard Sebastian whistle on an exhale. Anne was sitting on the end of the dock with her feet hanging in the water and her hair glowing in the late afternoon sun.

“Well, well, well, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You didn’t think I could invite my friend over to hang out?”

“No, I didn’t think you’d be capable of doing so without me knowing about it so I’m not there to give you hell. Blythe! Blythe! Pay attention!”

“I hear you! I don’t need to look at you to hear what you’re saying! Why would I look at you when I can look at her?”

“Because generally you should look at the person you’re talking to.”

“Well, she’s prettier.”

“So you are taking **her** out fishing then? Not Charlie?”

“Yeah.”

“And then you’re going to tell her you’re in love with her?”

“I’m-” his attention was pulled from Sebastian again as Anne started putting on sunscreen.

“Blythe. Gilbert. Gilbert John Blythe. Gilberto. Wow you really don’t hear a damn thing I’m saying do you. The last time I saw a man stare so intently at a woman, that woman had no clothes on and no way has it come to that so you have no excuse. Gilbert! Gilbert!”

It was useless, he could tell that Gilbert was too far gone to pay attention. He knew one thing that might work though.

_“There you see her, sitting there across the way. She don’t got a lot to say but there’s something about her. And you don’t know why but you’re dyin’ to try you wanna kiss the girl.”_

“Shh! Bash, stop! And I do know why. And she’s got plenty to say. Trust me.”

“ _Yes, you want her.”_

“Bash!”

_“Look at her you know you do.”_

“I’m well aware. Thank you.”

_“Possible she want you too, there is one way to ask her.”_

“Mother fucker, you’re obnoxious. Did you know that?”

_“It don’t take a word not a single word, go on and kiss the girl.”_

“Are we done?”

_“Sha-la-la-la-”_

“This is why I won’t let you meet her. Bye Bash,” Gilbert said, then ended the call and jogged back down to Anne on the dock.

They climbed into the boat, he lowered the lift and maneuvered them out onto the lake. Anne read for a while as he fished and after he had caught a few, she stood up and assertively said, “Teach me how to fish.”

“Really?”

“Did I stutter?”

“Alright. Here,” he said, handing her his fishing pole.

“But this one is yours.”

“They’re all mine…”

“But this one is all ready already.”

“Anne. Take the freaking fishing pole and shut your mouth.”

She glared at him and bit back a smile as she took the pole. He explained what to do and had her start by just dropping the line off the side of the boat.

“How do I know when there’s a fish? Aren’t I supposed to have one of those round things?”

“A bobber? That can be helpful, especially with children, but these are sensitive poles. You’ll be able to feel it. But not if you rest it against the boat like that. Hold it up, it’s not heavy. Move the line up and down slowly, and you wait.”

She waited.

Nothing happened.

“Teach me how to throw it out like you.”

“Cast?”

“Yeah.”

He took advantage of the opportunity to wrap hi arms around her and teach her to cast. After they practiced together a few times, she did it on her own and said, “Now what?”

“You wait. Again.”

Again, nothing was happening so she said, “I think I understand now why fishermen make up stories.”

He laughed and said, “When you catch something, it’s usually worth the wait.”

She finally got a nibble, instinctively set the hook and reeled in a fish.

“I’m no expert, but I don’t think this was worth the wait,” she said, holding the line with what Gilbert would generously call an oversized minnow.

“It’s pretty cute though. Do you want to try to take it off or do you want me to?”

“I dunno, can I?”

“Just go down from the top, the fins can be pokey.”

She deftly held the fish, unhooked him and let him down gently into the water.

“Very impressive,” he said. “Don’t smell your hand.”

She couldn’t help herself, took a sniff and made a face.

Gilbert laughed and suddenly his line went taut and the pole was nearly ripped out of his hands. He worked with the line for a bit, struggling to bring the fish in.

“Do me a favor and get the net? It’s under the flap in back.”

She found what he was talking about and as she was heading over to assist him, the net flew out of her hands and into the water. Before Gilbert even knew what was happening, Anne dove into the water to retrieve it. She resurfaced with it in hand and screamed, “I got it!”

As calmly as he could, Gilbert finished fighting with the fish, reeled it in, took it off the line and threw it in the livewell. He walked over to the edge of the boat, leaned over and glared at her.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I had to save the net.”

“Did you think at all about the depth of the water we are in? Do you know if there are any boulders or old tree stumps just below the surface? If there are weeds that could impede your ability to swim? Or the fact that a fishing net isn’t worth your life? No? Hand that to me.”

She handed him the net and he threw it back in the water.

“What the fuck, Gilbert!” she yelled as she treaded water.

“Anne. The net floats. See that giant piece of bright orange plastic? Yeah, you aren’t the first one to drop a net in the water. They’ve found a solution to this.”

“Ah.”

“Also, a fishing net costs about twenty bucks, so even if it sank, and we couldn’t retrieve it, we could replace it.”

“Wildlife hazard.”

“You got me there.”

He finally let himself laugh at the situation and he asked, “How’s the water?”

“Pretty nice actually. Care to join me?”

“No. Because you are a liar. The water here doesn’t warm up until August and I can see your teeth chattering. Come on,” he said as he put the ladder over the side. “Let’s get back.”

She climbed the ladder and he handed her some towels. She took out her braids so her hair would dry quicker.

“Are you cold?”

“No. Not really.”

“Do you want to circle the lake a couple times to dry your hair?”

“Does that work?”

“It won’t be completely dry, but yeah. The humidity is low, so it should be pretty effective. Sit down.”

They sped around the lake and Gilbert made sure to have some fun with it, taking some sharp corners and going over the wake a few times. The sound of her laughter out on the water was the best thing he had ever heard. Ten minutes later he finally approached the lift and again heard Anne laughing.

“What?”

“Your hair is so poofy. It’s hilarious.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “I really wouldn’t talk if I were you.”

She felt her hair and said, “Wow.”

“Yeah. It’s real big.”

She pulled her phone out of the compartment Gilbert had suggested she keep it in and said, “Come here.”

He leaned in, they each made a ridiculous face and she took a picture.

They examined it and he said, “That’s probably the best picture that has ever happened.”

“Agreed.”

“Let’s get back to the house and I’ll get you some clothes to wear. You can throw yours in the dryer while we cook and eat.”

***

Despite Gilbert briefly freaking out when he realized Anne was wearing his clothes without any underwear on, dinner went well. Anne declined alcohol, insisting that they have apple cider instead and she couldn’t stop raving about how good it was. She asked thoughtful questions about the orchard’s operations and he told her all about how they make the various products, how they effectively harvest the fruit to avoid waste and a lot of other stuff that he always though was really boring, but she was eagerly listening and soaking it up like it was the most important information that she had ever heard.

After they had cleaned up, Gilbert looked and saw that it was already nine o’clock.

“Are you ready to go?”

“No,” she replied. “Is it wrong that I think I like your house better than my house?”

“Really?” he asked, trying not to sound too happy about it.

“Yeah. Your house is a home. My house is a business. There are things I love about it, obviously, but you have privacy here that I don’t really have at Green Gables. I’m jealous.”

“Well, you can come over whenever you want. We aren’t even here during most days so you’d have the run of the place.”

“Somehow I don’t think that would fly with Marilla. I have work to do to.”

“Let’s go. I don’t want to get in trouble with Marilla.”

“You know how you said your dad would like me better than you? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Marilla likes you more than she likes me. In her mind you can do no wrong.”

He laughed and said, “Good to know.”

Gilbert drove her home, walked her to her door, hugged her and accidently kissed her on the side of her head. Just above her ear as they hugged. He felt her breath catch, but then she hugged him tighter in response, so he relaxed and continued hugging her until some guests arrived from their night out and Gilbert made his way back to his car.

***

“Hey babe,” Diana said.

“Hi. You told me to call you when I got home?”

“Yeah. How was your day?”

“Good. Really good.”

“That’s it?”

“No. That’s not it.”

Silence filled the line as Diana waited for her to continue.

“Give me until graduation,” Anne said.

“Pardon?”

“Ten months. Give me the next ten months and I will try to figure out how to tell him how I feel.”

“What happens if you don’t?”

“Then you’re going to tell him.”

“Really?”

“Really. I know it’s a coward’s way out but Diana, if I can’t have him, I don’t want anyone else. He’s it. Even if he rejects me, I need to try. And if I can’t do it, I’m going to need your help.”

“You can do it, Anne.”

“I’ll try. I promise.”

***

Gilbert had been home for about three minutes when he heard a knock at the door.

“Good evening Rachel, is there something I can do for you?”

“Am I to understand that you are **not** dating that Cuthbert girl?”

“That would be correct.”

“Why not?”

“Rachel, I love you, but I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“It most certainly is. Without your father around, someone needs to look out for you, make sure that you settle down eventually.”

“Because I’m so wild and out of control?”

“You are almost twenty-four years old. If you are not seeing that woman, or anyone else for that matter, I will be focusing my efforts on finding someone that pleases you.”

“Gross. No. I don’t need you to find a woman who ‘pleases’ me. That’s not how it works.”

“You know what I mean. You are a commodity, Mr. Blythe. An unattached Blythe is a Blythe in need of a wife.”

“I’m not in need of anything except some privacy from the prying eyes of this town.”

“Is it her? Did she reject you?”

“No! Rachel! Just let it be!”

“Who are you going with to the Barry wedding then?”

“My friends.”

“That will not do. You need to go with a woman.”

“I really don’t.”

“You really do. This whole town is confused. Are you dating? Are you single? Are you almost engaged?”

“This whole town needs to mind their own business. If they don’t know, they don’t need to know. My life is my own.”

“Like it or not your life is not your own. The people of this town love you Gilbert, and we want you to be happy.”

“I am happy!”

“Half this town has been invited to that wedding. If you go unattached, I promise you there will be a line of women waiting for their chance with you.”

“I really hate it here sometimes. Did you know that?”

“Yes. I’m aware.”

“You can tell the town and anyone who inquires that I’m not available.”

“I’m not going to lie for you, Gilbert.”

“It’s not a lie. Am I dating anyone? No. But I sure as hell am not available. I haven’t been since I met Anne.”

**FW - Mobile**

_I’m collecting your debt._

_That didn’t take long._

_Diana and Jerry’s wedding- You’re mine.  
You will be dancing with me all night._

_I kind of assumed we’d be hanging out  
anyway. _

_Not just hanging out.  
You’re going to be my date.  
(If you don’t mind)  
I don’t mean to sound demanding.  
Feel free to say no.  
I’m just really fucking pissed right now.  
Sorry._

_What’s wrong?_

_I was unaware that ‘an unattached  
Blythe is a Blythe in need of a wife.’  
I’m not really taking it well._

_Who said that?_

_Rachel Lynde. We were successful in  
confusing the town, by the way. So yay?  
Downside? She pointed out what would  
happen if I appear even a little bit single  
at this wedding.  
I don’t want to spend Diana’s wedding  
with a bunch of random women._

_She’s not wrong though-  
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a  
single man in possession of a good fortune,  
must be in want of a wife_.

_What the fuck is that?_

_Pride and Prejudice._

_Of course it is.  
And I thought we were going to forget  
about the money._

_Sorry, it just fit so well.  
Couldn’t help myself._

_Anyway. I’d rather spend the night with  
my friends than having her throw random  
women my way.  
  
_

_I feel like my role in your life is shifting  
from best friend to woman repellant._

_Relax.  
You know there’s no one else I’d  
rather spend the night with.  
Who knows. Maybe it’s just an excuse  
to trick you into going with me._

_Why on earth would I need to be tricked  
into going to their wedding with you?_

_You were asked out by four different  
guys this year and you quickly rejected  
them all.  
Why would I subject myself to that  
humiliation?_

_You’re really comparing yourself to the  
four douchebags that asked me out this  
year?  
You’re really stupid sometimes.  
Oh!_ _I almost forgot!  
__Wanna hear something funny?_

_Always._

_I don’t really understand how this  
happened, but those gummi penises  
I bought?_

_Yeah?_

_They have THC in them._

_You have pot penises?_

_Yes I do._

_That IS hilarious.  
What are you going to do?_

_Well, I’m not serving them at the party at  
her parents’ estate, that’s for damn sure.  
And I can’t return them._

_Grown attached to them?_

_Store policy._

_So you know what that means?_

_I’m not positive, but my guess would be  
that Anne and Gilbert are getting high._

_FUCK YEAH THEY ARE!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Thoughts? Comments?


	15. An Incredibly Inconvenient Loss of Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang celebrates Diana and Jerry's wedding. Anne and Gilbert... well... things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time has come, my friends. Please enjoy the shenanigans, I hope you have as much fun with it as I did. There is barely any Diana and Jerry here, because it is their wedding and they are busy. That's just how it goes sometimes.
> 
> And here is my disclaimer saying I'm not responsible for how you choose to consume edibles and/or if you choose to mix them with alcohol. This is a fictional story and the effects of the drugs were depicted in a way that I needed them to be to make the story work. Remember, there's no COVID in this world either. Let's just remember that this is fiction.
> 
> Just a note too- Something Just Like This (the first part of this story) is 'under construction' right now to make it align better with what I've written for this story. I will have it entirely updated by the time it fits into this story, which currently is after chapter 18.
> 
> I tried to insert an image, but it didn't work out.  
> Bridesmaids: https://www.windsorstore.com/products/emilia-draped-satin-gown-050020135999  
> Anne's Hair: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/681873199810822422/

“So you were **all** high at our wedding?” Diana yelled.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We were high at the reception,” Anne said.

“And only some of us,” Gilbert clarified.

“And no one more than Anne and Gilbert,” Cole added.

“Good to know.”

“Are you mad?” Anne asked timidly.

“No! I’m jealous! We were stuck entertaining distant cousins of great grandparents eight times removed and you guys were actually having fun!”

“Sorry you missed out,” apologized Anne. “But I promise. I can cheer you up.”

********July 2019********

**FW-Mobile**

_Omg. Gilbert I’m so fucking hot.  
I showered over an hour ago and it’s so  
humid that I’m still wet.  
Like, dripping wet.  
Can I come over and sit on your giant dick  
for a while before the bachelorette party?_

Sebastian heard a crash, ran to investigate the sound and found Gilbert splayed out on his back at the bottom of the stairs. His phone had slid across the room and Sebastian picked it up, read it and laughed.

“Well? You’re gonna help her out, right?”

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Yeah, that would probably take care of it.”

_This is Bash.  
I think you killed him._

_What?  
Why?_

_Read your text.  
Carefully._

_FFS I meant DOCK!  
FUCK. There’s no coming back from that is  
there?  
Lovely to meet you by the way.  
I make wonderful first impressions, I’m sure  
you’ve heard.  
Tell me, Sebastian, have you ever accidentally  
asked if you could fuck your best friend?  
No? Just me?  
SHOCKING._

_I can’t wait to meet you, Anne._

_Yeah.  
I don’t see that happening after this._

_He can’t keep you away from me forever._

_That’s cute that you think he’s in charge  
of anything._

_Hey Carrots, it’s me._

_I AM SO SORRY._

_Don’t be.  
I haven’t slid down the stairs on my ass in years.  
It was fun.  
If not a little painful.  
I think my butt used to have more cushion._

_I will not be coming over to sit on your DOCK  
(or your dick OMG).  
I think it will be a while before I can look at  
you._

_Anne.  
Relax.  
I obviously know it was a typo.  
But it was still surprising.  
And lucky for you, unlike my dick, my dock is  
nowhere near me. You are welcome to use it.  
I had no intention of going down to the  
lake any time soon.  
Bash is on his way out of town and I just  
need to shower and then I’ll be gone too._

_Isn’t Bash going to the wedding?_

_No. He isn’t that close with the Barrys and  
the opportunity arose to meet Muriel’s parents.  
So yeah, if you need the dock, it’s yours._

_You really don’t mind?_

_Not at all.  
Come whenever you’d like._

_Thank you._

_And as many times as you need to in order  
to be satisfied._

_OMG._

_What?  
If you’re really as wet as you say you are  
you should probably do something about it._

_Fuck you Gilbert Blythe._

_I’m getting VERY mixed signals from you  
today._

_HOW THE HELL DID OUR CONVERSATION  
COME TO THIS?_

_You started it._

_Seems like finishing is my responsibility as  
well._

_LOL.  
You’re REALLY not helping yourself here._

_Son of a bitch!_

_HA!_

_Mother fucker.  
I’ll be leaving now.  
See you tomorrow.  
Have fun tonight._

_You too._

_11:46 PM_

_Hey_

_Hey_

_Drunk?_

_Very. You?_

_Quite. Playing a game with the girls._

_And I take it I’m part of this game?_

_Yeah._

_Go for it._

_Does it bother you that you’ll never know  
exactly what I did on your dock today?_

_Fuck.  
Anne.  
You’re mean.  
You can tell the girls that whatever it is,  
I’m sure you won._

_HA! Thank you!_

_What exactly was the challenge?_

_With 20 words or less I had to get one of you  
guys to think about sex without saying anything  
remotely sexual._

_Mission VERY much accomplished.  
Thanks so much for choosing me._

_Oh Gilbert.  
I’ll always choose you._

_Can I get that in writing?_

_I think you just did._

_How was the penis pasta?_

_A little soft, but it got the job done._

_Wow.  
Okay._

_Ha- just read that.  
That’s funny.  
What are you guys up to?_

_Just talking about you naked and writhing in  
ecstasy on my dock._

_OMG Gilbert tell me you are lying._

_So much.  
You think I’d share that with anyone?  
No, no, no. That’s just for me.  
I’ll put that image in my mind next to the  
one of you in lingerie._

_I DIDN’T MASTURBATE ON YOUR DOCK.  
YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY.  
GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER._

_You put it in the gutter!_

_All I did was go swimming and  
then lay out for a few minutes. _

_Green bikini?_

_No.  
I forgot my suit._

_Fuck. You._

***

Both the bachelor and bachelorette parties had been fairly low-key events. The girls stayed at Diana parent’s house having a good old-fashioned sleep over (with alcohol) and the guys went out to eat at the Brazilian steakhouse in Charlottetown and then headed to Cole’s house for beer and video games.

Gilbert and Charlie went back to Avonlea the next day to get everything they needed for the day, then picked up Anne in New London. When they arrived at Anne’s house, Charlie got out and let her sit in front and he climbed in behind Gilbert.

“That really isn’t necessary Charlie, it’ll be a while ‘til I can look Gilbert in the face again. I could definitely sit in back.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “What are you embarrassed most about? The dick comment? Or making me picture you naked on a dock?”

“What the fuck you two? What did you do?” Charlie asked in surprise.

“Nothing worth repeating,” Anne said. “And I’m only embarrassed about the typo and even then really only because Sebastian saw it.”

“It was really funny, Anne. And it’s definitely worth repeating. Charlie, here,” Gilbert said as he unlocked his phone and threw it back to Charlie. “Look what she texted around two yesterday.”

Charlie read it out loud and laughed raucously as Anne stared out the window, stifling her own laughter.

“Damn, Anne, what are you trying to do to him?”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything! I was hot! I just wanted to cool down!”

“And how would sitting on Gilbert’s and I’m quoting, ‘giant dick,’ well, that’s debatable.”

“Charlie,” warned Gilbert.

“Anyway, how would a dick cool you off Anne, care to share? A dick is for **getting** you off, not **cooling** you off. I’m sure Gilbert would be willing to offer you a tutorial.”

Gilbert glared at Charlie in the rearview mirror and Charlie smiled back at him.

“Dock. D-O-C-K dock. And why did I have to say giant? It would have been so much better if I just said dick.”

“False. This is way better,” said Charlie. “And I mean, it **is** a giant dock. No argument there.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even ask. Did you get hurt at all when you fell?” she asked Gilbert

“Yeah. He has bruises all over,” Charlie answered for him.

“Seriously?” Anne said, worried.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, “You can kiss them better when you get him naked enough to sit on his giant dick.”

“Enough!” Anne said laughing, “Come on! I can’t be this pink when I’m going to be in wedding pictures!”

“Don’t worry. Pictures are hours away,” Gilbert reassured her.

“Unless of course you’re pink because you’re too hot. There’s really only one way to fix that,” Charlie teased.

Anne looked at Gilbert and smiled mischievously, unbuckled her seat belt, reclined her seat and climbed into the back with Charlie. She leaned into him, making sure her lips grazed his ear and whispered, “You know what Charlie? I **am** hot. So. Fucking. Hot. And unfortunately, my request went unfulfilled, and I’m still dripping wet, so what do you say? Are you… up for it?”

“Holy fuck, Anne,” Charlie said, gasping for air.

“Don’t play the game unless you’re prepared to lose,” she said normally and then suggestively added, “because I can go all night.”

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry,” Charlie said quietly.

“That a boy,” she said and patted his knee with her hand.

She climbed back to her seat and gave Gilbert a dazzling smile after buckling up again.

“What did you say to him?”

“I just flirted with him a little bit. He’ll be fine.”

“Damn, Anne, are you sure? He looks terrible.”

“I didn’t know I could flirt,” she said, looking back at a dazed Charlie. “It was kind of an experiment. Do you think I did it right?”

Gilbert laughed and said, “Yeah, I think you did it right.”

He saw Charlie bring his hands to his face and rub hard at his eyes.

Gilbert laughed and said, “I’ve never seen him like this, what did you say to him?”

“I just pointed out that I was hot and that my request yesterday went unfulfilled,” Anne said casually.

“That’s **not** how she said it,” Charlie said. “Not at all. Fuck, Anne. Seriously. I know you haven’t dated anyone. How on earth did you learn to speak like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you already had your hand in my pants.”

Gilbert laughed again and said “Anne! What did you say?”

The reason she had been so comfortable saying it to Charlie, is because she knew she could stop herself. But she feared that if she got that close to Gilbert and started talking like that, there would be no stopping her.

“Well, I whispered to him-”

“No,” Charlie interrupted. “Don’t summarize. Do exactly what you did to me to him.”

“He’s driving!”

“Fine, don’t go near him, but do everything else.”

“Fine,” she said and then repeated what she had said in the same low, raspy voice.

“Is it wrong that I’m super proud of you right now?” Gilbert asked her.

“What?” Charlie asked, stunned. “How could you be proud of her for hitting on me?”

“Because she took complete control of a situation that a couple years ago would have sent her running. Also, it was a joke.” He looked at Anne and asked, “Hey, remember when you had no confidence?”

“Meh- It’s getting better, but it still comes and goes. I’m trying though.”

He smiled at her and said, “You’re doing great.”

Charlie interrupted the moment and said, “You never explained where you learned to talk like that.”

“Oh Charlie, genius can’t be taught,” she responded.

“I think Diana was right. You’d eat me alive.”

“You don’t think you could handle me?” Anne teased.

“Don’t answer that Charlie,” Gilbert warned. “It’s a trick.”

“I’m apparently **your** date tonight, do **you** think you can handle me?” she quietly asked Gilbert.

“I would never be interested in ‘handling’ you, Anne; women are not to be handled. Presuming you’d allow yourself to be handled would be idiotic. Attempting to actually do so? That’s a death wish.”

Anne laughed at his response, but really, she was impressed. He always impressed her.

“Your intelligence never ceases to amaze me, Gilbert Blythe,” she said as she leaned back in her chair and shut her eyes.

Charlie still had Gilbert’s phone and said, “What the fuck? Why are you talking about Anne masturbating on your dock?”

They both laughed and answered, “Drunken misunderstanding.”

“And the skinny dipping?”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “That actually happened. Sorry.”

***

“Good morning, ladies!” Anne said as she entered the room where they were getting ready. “Where’s Diana?”

“Getting her hair and make-up done.”

“Okay, good. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. Gilbert was kind of threatened by a neighbor with an onslaught of single women if he didn’t have a date to this wedding, so he asked me if I would do him a favor.”

“Of course, he did,” said Josie, rolling her eyes.

“ **So** ,” Anne said, glaring at her. “I’m going to be Gilbert’s ‘date’ tonight, or whatever. No, we are not together, I’m just doing him, and the group really, a favor. You know, so he can hang out with us.”

“Thanks for making the sacrifice,” Tillie said sarcastically.

“Pretty sure we’d all be up for doing Gilbert a favor,” Jane added with a smile.

“So just, don’t say anything, okay? Just let me have some fun pretending.”

“Or maybe don’t pretend,” Ruby said. “ **Be** his date, Anne. That’s what he’s looking for isn’t it? More importantly, isn’t that what you want? More than anything? Take advantage of the opportunity.”

“I don’t think acting as his date gives me permission to do all the things I want to do to him.”

Josie laughed and said, “Maybe not, but it **does** give you permission to keep your arms wrapped around him. To let him hold you to him when you dance. To hold his hand as you walk around. Just don’t hold back. Just let yourself do what you want for a change.”

“What I want is his hands on my ass and my tongue in his mouth.”

“Anne!” said Ruby, surprised by her candor.

“What? Like you don’t all already know that? Please. Regardless, I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Oh, I think it would!” said Jane. “In fact, I think that would get it done real quick.”

“Agreed,” said Tillie.

Diana and her sister entered the room and Diana said, “Anne, Ruby, you’re next for hair and makeup. Oh, I see I missed something!”

“No, you didn’t. You’re getting married today and nothing else matters,” Anne said quickly and then glared at the other girls when she said, “Nothing.”

She left to get her hair and makeup done and Diana was filled in on what was going on.

***

Anne knocked on the door to the room where the guys were getting ready and it was answered by Gilbert.

“Yeah?” He had answered loudly, like he had just been laughing at a joke, but upon seeing her, he smiled and his voice softened.

Anne had talked to herself on the walk across the mansion, mentally preparing to be able to handle the sight of him in his navy suit that matched her dress, but she hadn’t prepared herself well enough and actually took a small step back at the sight of him.

“Hi. You look,” he said, unabashedly checking her out. The floor length dress was so simple, yet somehow it wasn’t simple at all. He couldn’t come up with an adequate adjective so you just said, “Wow.”

She tried to steady her breath, laughed and said, “Thank you, good enough to be your fake date?”

“Way too good. No one is going to believe for even a second that you’re actually with me.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, Anne. Did you need something? I thought we were all meeting outside the ballroom.”

“Yeah, actually, is Cole in there?”

“Cole?” he asked, assuming that she would have been there to see him.

“Yeah, Cole, your roommate. Tall guy? Slightly ginger?”

He laughed and said, “Yeah, I’m aware. Come on in.”

She entered the room and everyone stopped talking and stared at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to kill the mood, I just need to talk to Cole quick.”

“You didn’t kill the mood; you changed the mood,” Cole corrected her.

No one else responded to her. Two men she expected were Jerry’s brothers had stood when she entered and now were just staring at her. Moody was trying to keep his eyes on her face and the effort he was putting into it looked like it was causing him pain. Charlie looked as uncomfortable as he felt. After years of having no problem acknowledging Gilbert and Anne were meant to be together, her words in his ear that morning and now seeing her like this had momentarily confused him. Gilbert was looking at her like he worshipped her, so nothing different from the usual. Jerry was watching Gilbert, smiling at his infatuated friend and Cole was observing it all, trying not to laugh.

“What? Why are you all looking at me like that?” she asked.

“Who wants to tell her?” Cole asked.

“Tell me what? Do I have something on my face? Dammit! I **just** had my make-up done! What the fuck? This is so not cool.”

“Anne. Stop. You look beautiful,” Gilbert said in front of everyone. He paused then added, “You’re perfect, like always.”

“I’m what?”

“You’re perfect,” he repeated and she was left breathless.

“Screw that,” Charlie said, interrupting the charged silence. “You’re crazy hot.”

Moody and the brothers nodded their heads in agreement. Anne turned her attention back to Gilbert and whispered, “Thank you.”

He nodded at her with what she would have sworn was a bashful smile and she continued looking at him for a few moments, like she was trying to figure something out.

Charlie intentionally coughed to break them out of the moment and Anne remembered why she was there and asked, “Cole? May I talk to you for a minute? In private?”

“Yeah, lead the way,” he said and he followed her out of the room.

“Gilbert!” Charlie hissed after they left. “I don’t think she was wearing a bra!”

“What are you twelve?”

“Sorry, I don’t usually have issues ignoring how hot she is, but ever since her lips were on my ear I can’t deal with it.”

“You’ll need to get past it. And I think I owe you an apology. I taught her that ear talking thing. I used it on her last week to win a game we were playing.”

“What the fuck do you two do together?!” Charlie yelled. “This is so messed up!”

“Oh, also, it’s worth mentioning that technically Anne is my date for the night in an effort to avoid Rachel’s matchmaking. And no, we aren’t actually dating. Unfortunately. But I just wanted to warn you in case we act differently than usual.”

“So what does her being your date entail?” Moody asked cautiously.

“No idea, I guess we’ll just see what she’s comfortable with.”

“You didn’t talk about it? Like boundaries or anything?” Charlie asked.

“Look: It’s not like I’m going to kiss her or anything, we’re just going to be dancing and hanging out. Honestly, you probably won’t be able to even tell the difference. I just want to be truthful with you guys and not have you assuming something that isn’t true.”

“You’re the only one assuming something that isn’t true. You assume Anne isn’t interested in you,” Moody said.

“And she literally asked if she could fuck you yesterday,” Charlie added.

“What?!” Moody yelled.

“That was a typo.”

“It was a Freudian slip,” said Charlie. “Bam. Psych major. And it’s not the first time. Didn’t she once tell you that you could touch her however the hell you wanted?”

Gilbert laughed at the memory and said, “That was years ago. And again, she didn’t mean it.”

“Because Anne has always been so bad at articulating her thoughts? Are you kidding me? She might not have meant to say it aloud, but she sure as hell meant it.”

Gilbert rolled his eyes, “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that if she is willingly acting as your date tonight, treat her as your date,” Charlie explained.

“I’m not going to make-out with her as part of a ruse!”

“A ruse? Really?”

“You heard me.”

“Anyway, that’s not what I meant. Keep your arm around her waist. Hold her close while you’re dancing, whisper in her ear in a way that tells her you aren’t just trying to beat her at a game. Show her what it would be like to be your girlfriend. If you can’t tell her yet, fine. You’re stupid, but whatever. But you could at least show her.”

“You are… not as dumb as you look.”

“I couldn’t possibly be, right?” Charlie joked.

“So what about you, Charlie?” Moody asked.

“What about me what?”

“I think he’s asking what about you and Jane?” Gilbert clarified.

Charlie stilled at the suggestion and said stiffly, “I have no idea to what you are referring.”

“He’s probably referring to the fact that you said her name in your sleep last night,” Moody said, laughing. “You fell asleep first. And we all heard it.”

“Fuck. I’m not lying, okay. There is no me and Jane. But she’s pretty. And she’s cool and I’d like to get to know her better. That’s it.”

Gilbert laughed, “That’s totally not it. Are you kidding me? You have **never** been that cautious and respectful about a woman you’ve been interested in.”

“He’s right. With Mandy you straight up told her, and she agreed, that it was just a physical thing.”

“How is that not respectful? We both got what we wanted and we knew what it was.”

“Fine then, just focus on the cautious part. The other girls, you said you weren’t really nervous about approaching. That might be true, but only because you didn’t really care. There was no real feeling, that’s why you weren’t worried about it,” said Gilbert. “But you actually look nervous talking about her. I think you actually have real feelings for a woman. What the hell is that about?”

“How’s this, Gil,” Charlie smirked, “You can say whatever the fuck you want to about it. **After** you come clean with Anne. Until that happens, you have no room to say anything about anyone else’s love life.”

“He has a point,” Moody said, giving him a condescending pat on the back. “You are the worst.”

***

Cole and Anne walked down the hallway and into the study and Anne shut the doors tightly behind her.

She took a deep breath and said, “I have a question for you and if you could please not laugh, I’d appreciate it.”

“Ugh. Fine,” he said reluctantly. “Just kidding. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you would be willing to kiss me.”

“Ew.”

“Hey!” she said as she hit his arm. “I am not ‘ew!’”

“What? I don’t like women!” he defended himself, laughing.

“I don’t like women either, but I don’t go ‘ew’ at the thought of kissing one!”

“Okay. I’m sorry. You are definitely not ‘ew.’ Why would you even want to kiss me though?”

“I just want to get my first kiss out of the way. Okay? I’m so worried about it that I wonder if it isn’t holding me back from… from going after what I want. And I figured I would ask a friend to help me out. I did consider Josie, but I’d rather it be a guy.”

“So why not ask Gilbert? You are much closer with him than you are with me. Much. Much. Closer.”

Anne glared at him and only received a cheeky smile in return.

“Yeah. This isn’t what you want to do,” he continued. “If I were you, I’d just tell him how you feel and have your first kiss with him. It isn’t the kiss that makes the kiss, Anne, it’s the feelings that make the kiss. If I kiss you, the action will have been completed, but it won’t be anything like a real kiss, does that make sense?”

“Please, can we just do it anyway? I’m so hung up about it.”

“Here’s the deal. I will kiss you if you do just one tiny thing for me.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “What’s that?”

“Tell me exactly what you think about your ‘friend,’ Gilbert Blythe. The truth, please.”

“The truth?”

“The whole fucking truth and nothing but the truth so help you God.”

“Son of a bitch, Cole, you don’t get it,” she said, instantly losing her temper. “This isn’t just some crush, okay? I don’t **think** about Gilbert; he consumes every fiber of my being. Not a day has passed since meeting him where he hasn’t been an essential part of my existence. The pain I brought upon myself when I thought I destroyed our friendship was more excruciating than the years of abuse I endured as a child. He is so much more than I ever thought was possible to find in a person and I am so entirely attracted to him that I can hardly keep my hands off of him. I’m not just in love with him. Love is far too simple a word. What I feel is so big, so complete, so nuanced and so overwhelming that I have no hope of ever being able to adequately describe it. And I’m really fucking good with words.”

“Damn,” he said. He had known she had feelings for him, obviously, but he didn’t expect a confession of this magnitude.

“Listen,” she continued, pleading with him, “I am trying so hard to get to a point where I can tell him, but I’m not there yet. So please… can you please just help me?”

He leaned down and kissed her and she stood there in disbelief.

“So? What do you think?” he asked.

“That’s it?! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

He laughed and jokingly said, “You wound me, my girl.”

“I’m sorry, but that sucked!”

“It really did. That is what kissing a gay man you have no feelings for feels like, Anne. That’s probably what it would feel like for you to kiss Jerry, Moody or Charlie as well, because you aren’t in love with them. But Gilbert? When you kiss him, note that I said when, not if, by the way. **When** you kiss him, your body will burn and the rest of the world will fall away. Heaven and earth will move when you kiss Gilbert Blythe, and only Gilbert Blythe.”

“What a fucking joke,” she said to herself. “I can’t believe I wasted time worrying about this stupid, insignificant shit. Never speak of this.”

“Did you want me to go get him for you? I’m sure he’d come running.”

“Fuck off, Cole,” she said as she walked angrily to the door and jerked it open.

“Fuck Gilbert, Anne,” he called after her, laughing to himself.

***

When Cole returned to the room, Gilbert tried not to pry but couldn’t help himself.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“What did she want?”

“To make out with me in the study.”

“Fine. Don’t tell me.”

“You’re right. That was an exaggeration. She just wanted me to kiss her,” Cole said quietly so no one could overhear.

“What?!” Gilbert yelled.

Cole continued quietly, “Dude, you’ve had three years. Just be happy that it was me and not someone else.”

“So you actually did it?”

“Yeah. We made a deal. She held up her end so I had to deliver.”

“Why would you do that when you know how I feel about her?”

“Because she asked me to because I’m gay and we are both aware that it could never mean anything.”

“So, the one day I am finally able to convince her to actually act as my date for something, **you** go and kiss her.”

“Acting as your date is not the same thing as being your date. If you got your shit together enough to ask her out, she would say yes and fully expect and want you to kiss her. You have no one to blame but yourself. And the kiss sucked, by the way. I made sure of it. If anything, you should be thanking me because I set the bar **very** low.”

“Because you think I need the help? I promise if I could figure out how to approach her… when… **when** I figure out how to approach her, I’m sure the kiss will be good. I just don’t get why she would want to kiss you.”

“She told me not to mention it, Gilbert. But that ship has sailed, so whatever. She thought it might be holding her back. She was so worried that fear of her first kiss was getting in the way.”

“Getting in the way of what?”

“Ask her yourself.”

***

The wedding went perfectly. Diana was even more stunning than anyone could have predicted, bringing tears to the eyes of both Jerry and Gilbert, among others. Jerry had been worried that his family wouldn’t fit into this grand setting, but if anyone noticed the difference in their backgrounds, no one cared. The whole event was a true celebration of love and everything went as smoothly as possible. 

After the ceremony they took pictures and the guys mingled together while the girls posed for theirs.

“I have a question,” Moody asked.

“Yeah?” responded Gilbert.

“We hang out with these women all the time.”

“Not a question,” Gilbert stated.

“They are all **really** pretty.”

“Yeah. They are. Are you just noticing this? Also, that was still not a question.”

“My question is, how the hell did we get to be, like, legitimate friends with such pretty women?”

“Probably because these pretty women are a lot of fun and willing to put up with our shenanigans.”

“If high school me would have known I’d get to walk down an aisle with Josie by my side I think I would’ve had a little more hope for myself.”

“You know she’s gay, right?”

“Yeah. But she’s still super hot and wicked funny, right?”

“Right.”

“Then the statement stands. I’m not interested in her, I’m just impressed. They are **all** so impressive.”

“I agree. Did you start drinking already?”

“Just a bit.”

***

After pictures they were mingling before dinner when Anne took Gilbert’s hand and pulled him away from their friends.

They found a window alcove and sat closely together on the floor under the sill.

“Have you ever done this before?” she asked him as she reached into his jacket and pulled the gummies out of his pocket that they picked up from his room after pictures.

“No. I got a bit of a contact high in the Dominican Republic one time, but nothing like this. You?”

“No. I tried to get a contact high after our fight last year, but it didn’t work,” she said quietly.

“Are you actually embarrassed to admit that?” he asked, trying not to laugh. “Anne. I was fully drunk for, like, a week after that fight and I’m not even ashamed about it. It was hell and I just needed a way for it to hurt less. I assume you were going through a similar thing. You are not capable of doing anything to make me think less of you and if you were, it certainly wouldn’t be for something like that.”

“Someday you’ll have to explain why you think so highly of me.”

“Maybe someday I will. How many of these are we supposed to eat?”

“No idea. It doesn’t give a serving size. Only milligrams of THC per gummi.”

Gilbert got out his phone and said, “Can I just say that I’m not at all surprised that we have to look up how to get high from edibles on the internet?”

Anne laughed and said, “Me neither. This situation has ‘us’ written all over it.”

“Alright. First time users, one to two and a half milligrams. So that means-”

“One gummi is two and a half milligrams,” she supplied. “But let’s face it. We’re over-achievers.”

He looked down at her at his side and laughed then read, “Two and a half to fifteen milligrams is best for… patients with persistent problems, restless sleepers and social butterflies. It says it will provide euphoria and may impair coordination and alter perception. The next level up says it may have negative side effects for unaccustomed users and we are definitely that, so let’s not go too crazy.”

“Well, I do love butterflies.”

“Alright. How many would you like then, staying under fifteen milligrams?”

“Fifteen divided by two and a half gets us to six gummies, so we should eat more than one and no more than six. That’s a spread of five with the middle being three, bump it up one to get it in the middle of the right range and we land at four gummies giving us ten milligrams of THC. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He laughed and said, “That was by far the most unnecessarily convoluted math that I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing.”

“Pleasure?” she asked as she put four gummies in Gilbert’s hand and took four for herself.

“What can I say? You make bad math look good,” he said and started eating.

“Well until last semester, I didn’t know that a genius was able to write a twenty-page paper on microbiology and misspell organism as ‘orgasm’ every fucking time, so I guess we are both full of surprises.”

He laughed at the memory and said, “Don’t you remember that night? We were doing our homework and Diana came home asking if she could put on this movie. She sold it to us as a documentary about ancient Rome but did you actually watch any of it? I’m pretty sure that it was about as close to porn as you can get without actually calling it porn. Excuse me for having sex on my mind.”

Anne laughed and finished up her gummies. “That’s right! That was educational.”

“I am so glad you read that before I turned that in. Can you imagine what Dr. Oak would have said?”

“From what you’ve told me about her, she would have found it hysterical, especially coming from you.”

“Yeah, she would have. She probably would have had me read it out loud though.”

“And that sort of blemish on your perfect record would simply not do,” Anne teased.

“Shut up. It still would have been embarrassing.”

“Shit. Gilbert. I didn’t even think. Can we drink tonight?” Anne asked.

He groaned in frustration and said, “We’re smart. Shouldn’t we know these things? We’re pretty normal aren’t we?”

Anne laughed and said, “We’re intelligent, but I really don’t think we are normal.”

“Yeah. That checks out. Back to the internet we go.”

He continued looking through his phone as she rested her head on his shoulder. He pretended to read for much longer than necessary, not wanting the moment to end. A few minutes later he finally said, “Okay, sorry that took so long.”

“Don’t be. I’m super comfortable.”

He cleared his throat and said, “Good to know. There are some conflicting opinions here. But we didn’t take a lot. We still have to eat dinner so that will help and then later if we get hungry, these can’t be our snack. That shouldn’t be a problem. Let’s just wait until after it starts to affect us before introducing the alcohol, that way we won’t fuck with our bodies’ ability to metabolize it all too much. With these quantities unless one of us is really sensitive to THC, it just says that adding alcohol increases the chance of memory loss.”

He put his phone away and said, “Are you ready for this?”

“How long do we have until we feel it?”

“Damn it, Anne,” he said jokingly as he got his phone back out. He looked it up and said, “Probably about an hour. Any more questions?”

“No. An hour should get us past dinner, so that’s good. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous to see what happens tonight. There have been times where I’ve just been drunk and barely been able to control myself.”

“Really? Tell me more.”

She laughed and said, “No thank you.”

“Anyways, that’s why we are doing this here, with people we trust.”

“And supervision?”

He laughed and said, “Yeah, supervision will be clutch. I told Cole. He knows about our pretend date and the pot penises.”

“Great,” she said sarcastically. “What did he say?”

“He was very, very excited to see what happens.” _Because he knows how much I want you._

“Oh, I’ll bet he is.” _Because he knows how much I want you._

“Gilbert! Anne!” they heard Cole call out. He appeared around the corner a couple moments later.

“We need to go sit down. Did you do it already?”

“Consume? Yeah,” Gilbert said.

“I hear you’re our babysitter?” Anne asked.

“More of a conscientious observer and calamity preventer. Why so secretive though? Why not just tell everyone?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want us to be the center of attention. I’m sure it’ll come out eventually but this way we people won’t be like, ‘I wonder what Anne and Gilbert are going to do next!’” Anne said.

“I hate to break this to you, but people have been asking that for three years and it’s never been because of marijuana.”

Gilbert stood up and offered his hand to Anne for assistance. She took it and thanked him and they walked together to dinner, hand in hand. He pulled her chair out for her and she rolled her eyes.

They sat down and Gilbert leaned in and whispered to her, “Let me know if you feel sick, worried, want to leave, anything, okay? If you don’t feel right, say something, don’t try to be a hero.”

“Are you that worried?”

“Worried isn’t the right word. But if you aren’t comfortable, I want you to tell me so we can get it figured out. I’m assuming though, that we are just in for a really good night. It was a low dose and we’ll probably have like four or five drinks throughout the entire evening. So, we might forget a couple things, but beside that, what could possibly happen?”

She turned her head to him and their faces were closer than they had ever been.

She smiled, stared into his eyes and said, “I guess we’ll find out.”

“Or maybe we won’t,” he joked.

***

Anne’s high was starting to take effect about the time she and Gilbert danced to _Can’t Help Falling in Love._ They had started the dance at a fairly respectable distance apart, but he had spun her out and then back into him and into a position that was so close that his leg was required to be positioned between hers. Her heart fluttered when she heard him sing, _“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”_ She could barely hear him above the band, but she could feel the vibrations in his chest, his breath on her neck and his lips on her ear. Not even she could come up with a sensible excuse and she decided that he must be singing it just for her.

When the song ended, he released her slightly and asked, “Are you feeling anything yet?”

“From the penises?”

He laughed and said, “Yeah, what else would I mean?”

“I think I’m feeling it a bit. You?”

“Nothing yet.”

She was relieved to hear it and let herself believe that he perhaps was not just singing the song for her, but to her.

A half hour later, they both acknowledged that they were properly affected and decided to have a drink before going back to the dance floor. When they returned, even high, their dancing was very impressive and they enthusiastically continued for another forty-five minutes. On their way back to the bar, Gilbert didn’t hesitate to again take her by the hand, and she encouraged his action by interweaving her fingers with his.

They got their drinks, sat down at their table and started talking. Cole joined them a few moments later and they didn’t notice.

“So is this Rachel person here?” Anne asked.

“Yes, she is.”

“Who is she?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why not,” she whined.

“Because I don’t want Diana’s maid of ‘honor’ to beat up a sixty-year-old woman on her wedding day.”

“Fine. I’ll wait until another day.”

He laughed and said, “I appreciate that.”

“I’m not going to lie, I feel really fucking good right now,” Anne said.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever been in my brain?”

“No, Carrots, I haven’t. But I’d love to go sometime.”

“Hell no,” she laughed. “You of all people can’t come in here, you would run screaming. Gil, it is just the worst. It is always doing something. Overthinking. Contemplating. Worrying. Dreading, Preparing. But now? There’s nothing. It’s so peaceful, just… my brain feels so fucking good. I can’t even find the words. Ha! I’m out of words! This is amazing. Oh! I got it! If my brain could have an orgasm, this would be the afterglow! How long is this going to last?”

He checked his phone again and said, “Six to eight hours.”

“Fuck yeah. Peace,” she said. She moved her chair closer to his and she rested her head on his shoulder. “Finally. So much peace. What about you?”

“Couldn’t think right now even if I tried.”

“So you’re telling me your mind is blank too?”

“No. My mind is full; I’m just telling you I can’t think.”

“So what is in there that you aren’t thinking about.”

“Hell, I don’t even care anymore. You. I’m thinking about you. It’s always you, Anne. Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are? Any at all? You couldn’t possibly. You are not mean enough to willingly put all these images and ideas into my mind and then just parade around literally taunting me with every fucking move you make.”

Anne laughed and said, “Gilbert Blythe thinks **I’m** hot? Oh my gosh!”

“Damn it, Anne, how do you still not know that I think you’re hot? I say it all the time.”

“I don’t think you have ever said ‘hot’ and as far as the compliments, I just thought you were being nice.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “I’m not that nice. Not even close.”

Anne leaned forward and took a drink of her rum and coke. When she was done, her fingers remained around the glass moving up and down while she stared absentmindedly at it. Gilbert’s hand came to rest on hers and she jumped.

“Shit! What the fuck are you made of? Electricity?”

He laughed and said, “That would be the high, Anne, calm down. And you can’t do that with your hand.”

“Can’t do what?”

“You can’t move your hand up and down around cup like that.”

“Yes. I can. I’m really fucking good at it actually.”

“Fuck. Anne. That’s the problem. Stop it.” He leaned in and whispered to her, “There are multiple guys staring at you right now because you’re unintentionally simulating a hand job with your glass.”

She pulled her hand quickly into her lap and said, “Fuck! No! I’m not! Damn it! I wouldn’t! I mean I don’t even know how to do that! I’m just wiping off the condensation! What the fuck is wrong with you people? And yes, by ‘you people’ I mean all men. You included. I expected better from you.”

He laughed again and said, “You really shouldn’t.”

She put her fingers in a glass of water and then flicked the moisture at his face.

“Yep. I deserved that.”

“Do you think water is wet?”

“Um. Yes?”

“Think about it though. Is water wet? It seems to me that water **makes** things wet. But does that mean it has to be wet itself?” Anne asked.

“This is actually really interesting,” he said. They were both leaning forward, discussing the topic like it was a big secret. “Is dirt dirty?”

“Yeah. I think so, but cleaners aren’t clean. Are they? They just make things clean. But if you spill a cleaner, you still need to clean it up.”

“Is fire even fire? I would say no because it can’t exist by itself,” Gilbert said.

“No. Oh my gosh, this is really going to bother me.”

Gilbert dipped his fingers in the water and looked at it for a while and then said, “Okay, so the way I see it, water seems wet to us because we usually don’t experience it without touching it or seeing what happens when it comes into contact with something else, but as soon as it does, that other thing is wet. Until then it is just a liquid. In order for it to display its wetness, you need a second player.”

Anne took his hand in hers, carefully examining his wet fingers and said, “Mother fucker! Water isn’t wet!”

Gilbert produced a sound that indicated his mind was blown.

They looked at each other and their eyes met. They each stared for a moment, then both said, “You have really pretty eyes,” and then burst out laughing. She fell into his side and he put his arm around her as they leaned back in their chairs.

The next time they looked around, the table was full and they were both surprised at the site: all of their friends were staring at them expectantly.

“What?” Gilbert asked the group.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Anne asked.

There was silence for a few moments and then Josie mischievously said, “Let’s play a game.”

“Like truth or dare?” Ruby asked.

“No. We know each other too well for that to be interesting. Dare or dare.”

“Wow. Really Jo?” Cole said sarcastically.

“Absolutely,” she said with her eyes on Anne and Gilbert. “This is going to be fun.”

“Would now be a good time to tell them that we are crazy high?” Gilbert whispered in Anne’s ear.

Anne laughed loudly and said, “If they can’t tell, then they don’t deserve to know. Who knows, maybe it’s not even noticeable.”

“Cole? I need a bottle of tequila, a shot glass, limes, olives, cherries and… chocolate syrup,” Josie commanded.

“On it.”

“Moody, we need a couple pitchers of beer. I don’t want anyone trying to cop out saying they need another drink.”

“Yep.”

“Jane, go get more cake. As much as you can carry. Not sure where I’m going with that, but there can never be enough cake.”

“Amen.”

When everyone returned with the supplies Cole spoke up, “I’m all for this, but no daring people to like, make out with anyone.”

“What the fuck, Cole. Why not?” Josie complained.

Cole stared at her and said, “Josie, no.”

“Fine. Let’s divide into two groups so we can come up with the dares together to get the best ones. Let’s try to get everyone to have three dares each. Anne, Gilbert, Moody and Jane. Charlie, Ruby, Tillie, Cole and me.”

“What about Jerry and Diana?” Moody asked.

“Just be thankful that we got to spend so much time with them on the dance floor. Have you ever been to one of these giant weddings before? They will have to make the rounds, talk to family and all that crap. They won’t have time to play a silly game with us. So we’ll do three rounds. Each person gets one dare in each category: actions, food or beverage. That way we hopefully don’t have anyone puking at the end of the night. And to be a good sport, since I suggested the game, I’ll take the first dare.”

They talked for a minute and Jane said, “Go order a slippery nipple. Take the shot and wink at the bartender.”

“Amateurs,” Josie scoffed as she walked away. They watched her perform the task completely unphased. The bartender was not nearly as unaffected and it looked like it took him a moment to get his head back in the game once Josie walked away from him.

“Moody, eat a teaspoon of hot sauce,” Tillie said.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

He completed the job then ran to the bar to ask for some milk to cut the heat. They didn’t have any so he ended up taking a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream. He walked back to the table, sweating and gasped as he said, “That did **not** help!” The group laughed loudly at his reaction.

“Cole, put your bowtie crooked,” Anne said.

“No.”

“Um. Yes I think is the right answer.”

Cole glared at her as he slightly adjusted his bowtie and looked physically pained when he completed the task.

Jane had to eat a piece of cake without using her hands and look Charlie in the eyes while she licked the plate clean. He wasn’t unaffected either.

Tillie was dared to ask for a unique drink suggestion from the hottest guy she could find. Everyone laughed when she started asking Gilbert and then Jane clarified that she meant outside of their group of friends.

“Gilbert?” Ruby asked. “Strip.”

“What?! No!”

“What she meant to say is untuck and unbutton your shirt. Are you wearing an undershirt?” asked Josie.

“Of course, what kind of monster do you think I am?”

“Modification. Remove the undershirt. You may put the dress shirt back on, but leave it unbuttoned.”

He looked at Anne and asked, “Is this weirdly specific or is it the high talking?”

Anne laughed loudly and said, “I don’t give a fuck. Take off your damn shirt.” Then she winked at him and led the group in cheering for him as he undressed. He stood, took off his shirts (he took off his jacket hours ago), threw the undershirt at Josie then then put his dress shirt back on. He stood there laughing and asked in disbelief, “Is this really what you were looking for?”

Anne leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, bit her lip and said, “Damn, you’re hot.”

“Except you should roll up your sleeves,” Jane suggested.

Anne sat up and rolled his sleeves for him, she leaned back again to admire the view then stood up, tousled his hair and said, “I’ve been waiting three years to see this: Gilbert Blythe with legitimately messy hair.”

“Does the look meet your expectations?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Somehow it actually does,” she said as her hand grabbed her other wrist behind his neck. “It’s perfect.”

“That was a dumb thing to wait for. If you want me to do something just tell me and I’ll do it.”

“No exceptions?”

“No exceptions.”

“I want you to-”

“Guys!” Cole yelled. “Look at what you are doing and look at your fucking audience! Do you even hear yourselves?”

They both laughed and said, “What?”

Cole turned to the group, “Everybody here knows they are ‘pretending’ to be together so Rachel doesn’t send women Gilbert’s way, right?”

He received nods of affirmation.

Jane said, “They aren’t pretending anything.”

Josie said, “They’d be on this table by now if you hadn’t stopped them, you idiot.”

“Seriously, Cole! Why? Just let them get together!” Charlie whined.

“I want to, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” yelled Tillie.

“Because I’ve been tasked with not letting them do anything stupid tonight.”

“How is them kissing stupid?” asked Ruby. “Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“It’s stupid because they are high.”

“What?!” the group yelled.

“Look at them! Have you ever seen them this bad before? I mean there’s always been an energy between them, but have you ever seen them hanging off of each other like this? Anne’s hands are now literally inside Gilbert’s shirt and Gilbert Blythe get your hands off of her ass right now! Guys! They are high as fuck!”

Anne and Gilbert were laughing hysterically. Anne started falling over and Gilbert caught her and pulled her back toward him and they both fell on his chair. She was eventually able to gain enough balance to sit sideways on one of his legs with her legs in between his.

She sat up straight and said, “Oh my god! I’m taller than you! I can see so much up here!”

“You’re **not** taller than me. You’re better than me in every way, but I’m pretty sure I will always be taller than you.”

“Can I touch your hair again?”

“You can touch me however the hell you want.”

She laughed and said, “I still can’t believe I actually said that out loud.”

“Charlie thinks you meant it.”

She giggled and said, “Charlie isn’t wrong.”

“Son of a bitch! You guys! Come on!” Cole yelled. “Stop it!”

Josie laughed and said, “Oh yeah. This is going to make this so much more fun. Anne-”

“No we need to do one first!” Jane yelled. “Ruby, see how many olives you can fit in your mouth, no cheeks.”

“Damn it Jane, why? You’re the only one who finds this impressive,” Ruby said.

Charlie and Moody pulled up chairs next to Ruby and Charlie said, “No she’s not. Go for it.”

After Ruby successfully fit twelve olives into her mouth, Josie returned, having gone to the bar to get a shot for Anne and said, “Anne, this is just a shot of whiskey with a cherry in it.”

“Josie, come on, be cool,” Anne whined.

“Oh I am. You know what to do. But I have stipulations.”

“Of course you do. Just a warning, I don’t know if I have enough control of my tongue to accomplish this.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. No hands.”

“I don’t think I can keep the cherry in my mouth with the burning of the whiskey.”

“Do what you gotta do, love, and to properly restrict you,” she smiled mischievously, “Gilbert has so generously offered his shirt to use as a restraint. Stand up, hands behind your back.”

“Jane wasn’t restrained! Is this really necessary?”

“Yep,” said all the girls simultaneously. They guys said nothing; none of them were stupid enough to get involved in this argument.

Anne stood there and eyed the drink trying to figure out how to go about the shot.

“Anne,” Gilbert said, “It’s a shot, not calculus.”

“Shut up hot stuff, there’s a lot to consider here and my brain is so, so slow right now. I don’t want the cherry to hit my uvula when I throw it back. And I can’t get the cherry off the stem in my mouth either, I need a clean break to be able to tie the knot and if I chew it off, I won’t be able to do that. Not only that, but it’s a tall and skinny shot glass, so I can’t just bite the cherry out of the glass. So many things to consider.” She thought for a couple more moments and then, realizing what she had to do, she laughed as she said, “Son of a bitch, Josie. How long have you been planning this?”

“A long time. It’s time everyone knows what that tongue is capable of.”

“Please. It’s not like you know what my tongue is capable of,” Anne teased, then licked her lips suggestively.

“You’ve never offered!” Josie said, laughing at Anne’s brazen flirting. “But I certainly have imagined.”

“Ladies!” Charlie yelled. “Please stop; you are going to kill us.”

Anne bent over, extended her tongue down into the whiskey, rolled it around the stem of the cherry and pulled it out of the glass and set it aside.

“I’ll need someone to remove the glass from my mouth,” she said, then took the shot and Tillie removed the glass at the proper time. Anne swallowed the shot without even flinching and said, “Gilbert I’m going to need you to eat my cherry. Open your mouth, I need a nice clean break.”

She picked up the cherry by the stem with her teeth and dangled it down into his mouth, their noses touching. Though shell-shocked, he somehow managed to bite it off the stem. She kept the stem in her mouth and tied it into a knot with her tongue as she sauntered around the table to Josie. When she got to her, she stuck out her tongue with the stem on the very tip of it.

Josie picked the stem off of her tongue and said, “Amazing.”

“Satisfied?” Anne asked as she bent over and stepped back through her arms so she could untie the shirt around her wrists.

“For now,” she said. “I actually think that was your fastest time yet.”

Anne drank some water while some in the group asked her how she learned to do that.

Josie walked around the table, leaned over behind Gilbert, held the stem in front of his face and whispered, “I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve imagined the possibilities. Have you?”

Gilbert couldn’t speak; the amount of information that had just entered his mind was too much to comprehend.

“I suggest you prepare yourself for what’s coming,” she warned him, then dropped the stem onto his lap and walked away.

“Charlie?” Anne asked. “I’m fucking hungry as hell. I don’t care how the fuck you do it, but I dare you to find some pizza, order some pizza. Make some pizza. Whatever. Just get pizza.”

She walked over to Gilbert, pulled him up from his chair, got his wallet from his back pocket, threw it at Charlie and said, “Gilbert will pay. Josie? Do we need to go in the same order again? Because I can barely remember names right now,” Anne asked as she pushed Gilbert back down on his chair and then sat on his leg again.

“No. We don’t need to go in the same order.”

Gilbert finally regained the ability to speak and said, “I am so fucked up. Your hair legitimately looks like fire, he said, patting her head. Like it’s warm and everything.”

“Glibert. Stop it!” she said, swatting his hand away, “You’ll put it out!”

“Did you just call him Glibert?” Jane asked.

“No. That was you,” Anne said as seriously as she could and then laughed. “Ooh! Let’s do Cole next. Cole, my darling, I feel bad about your tie. Go order the classiest drink at the bar. And then chug it through one of those tiny straws.”

“That’s criminal, Anne.”

“For you, yes it is.”

“Moody. Go see if there is any money in the fountain outside, and if there is, get some of it and bring it in to tip the band,” Charlie said.

“Excellent. I’m so fucking hot right now.”

He returned a few minutes later and dropped a bunch of wet change into both the bar and band tip baskets.

“Josie,” Gilbert said slowly, “Eat one of those fancy butter ball things in the middle of the table.”

Josie involuntarily gagged at the thought and Gilbert said, “Maybe not… how about eat one of everything you requested be brought to the table, including a shot of tequila.”

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I really would not have been able to choke a chunk of butter down.”

“Gilbert, what sort of marijuana are you two using?” Tillie asked.

“Penises.”

“Pardon?”

“Penis pots!” Anne called out.

“No, no, no, that’s not right, Carrots, they’re pot penises. They’re in my jacket. Whip them out.”

“ **You** whip it out!”

“Damn it, Anne,” he laughed. “You really need to start watching what you say.”

“Maybe you need to start **doing** what I say.”

He whispered in her ear, “I told you that I would do whatever you ask of me so maybe it’d be best if you more carefully consider what you are requesting.”

“Maybe **you** need to stop second guessing my requests!”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug so she could get the jacket from behind him. They stayed like that while Anne started digging through the pockets of his jacket.

“Son of a bitch you guys!” Cole yelled and he yanked the jacket out of her hands. “Anne. Sit on your own chair.”

“No.”

“Gilbert, get your hands off of her hips.”

“No.”

“Mother fucker you two are making this impossible.” He found the bag and said, “They are indeed tiny penises. Cute. Gilbert, you are being dared to distribute the wealth. For everyone’s information, they had only 4 each and that was a couple hours ago, so keep that in mind.”

Charlie, Moody, Jane and Ruby participated, taking three each. Tillie, Josie and Cole sat this adventure out.

“Tillie,” said Anne, “Do you still read romance novels on your phone?”

“You bet I do!”

“I would like to request a dramatic reading of a sex scene with an accent.”

“Oh good lord, can you pick one out for me?”

“Honey, you currently have three eyes, I definitely can’t pick a scene right now.”

“Alright just a second, let me find one, you’re a better reader than me though Anne.”

“Not tonight I’m not!”

“What accent?”

Anne had left her phone in her room, so she got Gilbert’s, and clumsily keyed in her own password and yelled, “I’m a genius! I just guessed Gilbert’s password!”

She audibly asked the phone what the hottest accent was and listened for the response. “Apparently a Spanish accent. Can you do that?” she asked Tillie.

“I can sure as hell try.”

“How did I know your password?” Anne asked him. “Am I magical?”

“Yes you are, but you know my password because it’s **your** birthday.”

“Why is my birthday your password?”

“Because having it be **my** birthday is really insecure. And if your password is your birthday, you should really change it.”

“But why me?”

“Do you really not know?”

“Alright, this is from _Night After Night_ by Lauren Blakely:” Tillie interrupted them and then continued in a terrible Spanish accent, “‘He drove his tongue inside her, setting off another shattering moan that was music to his ears. She was quite an instrument to play, so finely tuned, and if he touched her right, she made the most glorious sounds — raw, intense, absolutely delicious noises of pleasure as he plundered her with his tongue. She grabbed his hair, yanked and pulled him closer as he’d told her to do. He thrust one finger inside her, crooking it and hitting her in the spot that turned her moans into one long, high-pitched orgasm. She shuddered against him, her legs quaking, and when he finally slowed to look up at her, he saw her hair was a wild tumble, and her face was glowing.’”

“Why the fuck do guys get berated for watching porn but somehow **that** is considered okay?!” Charlie yelled.

“It’s a book, Charlie,” Josie explained. “It’s literature. Not some artificially pumped-up bimbo being drilled by some steroid infused freak. Care to borrow it?”

“Yes, please.”

Tillie tapped a couple buttons on her phone and said, “Alright, you have it for two weeks.”

“Thanks, Tillie!”

“Jane,” Ruby said, “Go ask the bartender to make you the strongest martini he can.”

She returned a couple minutes later and said, “Alright, this is Guinness, rum, vodka and crème de cacao.”

“Shoot it,” Ruby commanded.

Jane drank it and after gasping yelled out, “Holy fuck! Woo!”

“Was it good?” Anne asked.

“That was delicious. Want one?”

“Heck yes I do.”

Jane took Anne’s hand and led her to the bar.

“Anne, are you aware that you and Gilbert look about three seconds away from tearing each other’s clothes off?”

“He’s so fucking hot Jane and he’s saying all these wonderful things to me. I just can’t stop myself. And I have no interest in stopping myself.”

“Right. But you’re high. And pretty soon you’ll be drunk, if you aren’t already, I honestly can’t tell. Do you really want to hook up with him in such a state?”

“That seems like a question for sober Anne, because this Anne can’t think past how much I want him.”

“Just stay off of him for a few minutes, okay? Cool down a bit.”

They got back to the table and Anne said, “Charlie, same dare as Jane, you’re going to love it. No, this one is for me, you go get your own. You guys, this drink is really fucking good. Five stars. Here Gil, try this,” she said and held the cup while he drank from it.

Charlie went to get his drink, returned to the table and threw it back.

“Damn, that was actually really good. Anne, I want you to whisper in Moody’s ear what you said to me this morning and see what kind of reaction you get.”

“Charlie,” Gilbert laughed, “You’re going to need to get over this.”

“Hell no! It’s one thing for her to talk like that to you: the only person who she’d actually consider dating, but if she’s going to start teasing, I’m not going to suffer through this alone.”

“I’ll gladly flirt with Moody,” Anne said. “Except I really don’t think I can remember what I said.”

Charlie did, and quietly repeated the words to Anne so she could pass along the message.

“Right, okay, Moody, I love you, but I just want to be clear that I’m not really hitting on you.”

Tillie yelled out, “We are all painfully aware of who you’re hitting on, Anne.”

“Here we go,” she said then leaned in and whispered what she had said to Charlie that morning.

Moody had been standing but after hearing Anne, put his hands on the back of a chair and leaned over to collect himself.

“Holy shit, Anne, why the fuck did you say that to Charlie of all people? Did you know about this Gilbert?”

“Yeah, I was there.”

“That’s fucked up,” Moody said, and took a drink.

“Ruby,” Jane said, “You used to be a gymnast. Can you still do a handstand?”

“No idea, but I’m thinking we are about to find out?”

“You got it. Think of it like a keg stand, only with a Bahama Mama.”

“Ooooh! Nummy!”

“What about your dress?” Josie asked.

“Oh! I can fix that!” Anne said, and tied the bottom of Ruby’s dress together between her legs.”

“And here we have Ruby Gillis modeling this year’s trend in adult diapering,” Cole said sarcastically.

She did the handstand, with a wall to assist, and used a straw to drink the Bahama Mama.

She came down from it gracefully, then fell into Anne and they both fell to the ground laughing. Moody and Gilbert went over to help them up and Gilbert led Anne back to the table where he had her sit on his leg again so he could keep his arm around her.

“Cole,” Gilbert said, and then thought for a minute. “I got nothing you guys, he’s selflessly volunteered to take care of Anne and me tonight, I can’t make him do anything.”

“I can!” Jane said. “I’m lazy. Feed me a piece of cake.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cole laughed.

“Moody, that half pitcher of beer is getting warm. You have five minutes to finish it,” Ruby challenged him.

“Sounds good.”

“Charlie,” Jane said. “Find the prettiest girl in the room and ask for her phone number.”

“I already have your phone number, Jane,” Charlie said a lot more confidently than he felt. The group cheered at his effort.

“Well, I disagree, but your sentiment has been noted. Thank you, Charlie. Cole, more cake.”

“Jane, I dare you to let Charlie feed you the rest of the cake,” Ruby said.

“I don’t care who feeds me, I’m up for it.”

They gave them time to complete the task while others refreshed their drinks and some went for a bathroom break.

When everyone retuned, Jane and Josie smiled at each other and Jane asked, “Is it time?”

Josie laughed and said, “Hell yes.”

“Tillie,” Jane said clearly. “Your job is to take the chocolate syrup and draw a picture on Gilbert’s neck.”

“I gotta be honest, I did not see that one coming,” Tillie confessed.

Josie said, “Don’t worry. You’re not going to be mad about it.”

“I’m so confused,” she said. “Stand up Gilbert. What am I supposed to draw?”

Anne got off of Gilbert so he could get up.

“Anything you want,” said Josie

Tillie smiled and wrote AC+GB and drew a heart around it.

When she was done, Anne turned him to face her and laughed loudly, as did everyone else who had seen it.

“What is it?” Gilbert asked.

“Just a heart,” Tillie lied.

“Nice work Till,” Josie said. “Anne? Lick it off of him.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Lick the chocolate off Gilbert’s neck. You like chocolate, don’t you? And you certainly like Gilbert. And we all now know what that mouth of yours can do. Lick, suck, do whatever you have to do, but I don’t want to see a drop of chocolate on his neck when you’re done.”

Anne stood in front of him and silently appraised the situation.

Gilbert’s back was to the table and most of their friends and he considered that a small mercy. He looked at her and quietly said, “There is nothing I find more concerning than when you have nothing to say.”

“That’s funny because I think that you’re the only one who ever sees me speechless. You have the unique gift of making me keenly aware of the limitations of the English language.”

Anne gently put her hand on the other side of his neck to hold him in place. After she licked the heart in its entirety, she applied more pressure because licking wasn’t nearly enough to get the job done. Between the tackiness of the syrup, the smell of his cologne and being spurred on by his uneven breathing and the noises she could tell he was trying to suppress, in the end it was much more sucking than licking. When she thought the job was complete, she checked to be sure she had gotten it all and then said, “Shit, there’s some on your earlobe, just a second.” She then took his earlobe in her mouth and lightly bit it and sucked it while Gilbert stifled a moan.

“Holy shit,” Charlie said.

“Damn that was hot,” Jane added.

When she was done she looked up at him, licked her lips and said, “Sorry. I’m hungry.”

“Oh my god, Anne. I-”

“Sit down Gilbert,” Cole said to him as he turned him around and forced him to sit.

“Gilbert?” Josie asked, “Any opinion on Anne’s work?”

He leaned over with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his face and quietly said, “I’m going to need a minute.”

Anne walked away to get another drink and Tillie followed her.

“Anne! Anne. Are you okay?”

“I can’t tell if that was the best or worst thing I’ve ever done. Can you clarify? Did he look mad?”

“No, Anne. I’m pretty sure that was the happiest he has ever been. You have nothing to worry about. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Just a little confused.”

“Are you sure you should keep drinking?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Thanks, Tillie.”

They returned to the table to learn that Ruby had been tasked with giving her number to the saxophone player. The band was wrapping up and a DJ was going to take over for the remainder of the evening.

“Hey Gil, are you okay?” Anne asked, quietly.

“Yeah, I’m great, why?”

“I didn’t just ruin our friendship, did I?”

He put his cheek next to hers, returned the gesture of what she did to his earlobe and whispered, “You’ve made it so much better.”

“Oh my god,” Anne whimpered.

“Oh. My. God,” said Cole, who was hovering behind them. “Gilbert, let’s take a walk.”

Gilbert and Cole went outside and walked around the garden. They didn’t say a word to each other until they were about to reenter the building.

Cole stopped Gilbert and said, “I don’t care how much we’ve all been waiting for this. I’m not letting your first night together be when you are this fucked up.”

Gilbert nodded in sad affirmation and walked back inside.

They arrived at the table shortly before Ruby showed up with her face flushed red.

“What happened?” asked Moody.

“I puked.”

“Oh no!” the girls gasped.

“Into his saxophone.”

There was a brief moment of silence before the group started laughing.

“But I offered to pay the bill to fix his instrument, so **technically** I gave him my number!” she said proudly and the group cheered.

“That leaves Gilbert and Josie,” Cole said.

“Gilbert Blythe.”

“Josie Pye.”

Everyone was waiting silently to see what Josie would do.

“Gilbert, take a shot of tequila…”

“Okay,” he agreed. After Anne’s last dare, he did not think his would be so tame. He licked his hand and was about to pour the salt when Josie added, “No hands.”

“What? How am I supposed to do that?”

“Anne here will provide you with everything you need.”

Josie took Anne’s hands, made her sit on the table and said, “Lean back on your hands just a bit.”

Anne did as she was told, more curious than anything else about her role in this dare.

Josie reached for a straw in a glass of water, placed her finger on the top to trap the water in it then released it across Anne’s chest, leaving a long, wet line on Anne’s breast, right above her dress, from her sternum to the strap. She put the straw down and shook salt onto her friend.

“Josie!” Anne yelled, “Seriously! You want Gilbert to lick my chest?”

“I’m sure there are many other places he’d rather lick you, but there are people here! Think of the children!”

Josie poured a shot, pulled out the front of Anne’s dress and put the shot glass in her cleavage.

“Is this really happening?”

“Very much so,” said Jane.

“Open up!” Josie commanded and as Anne’s jaw dropped in surprise, Josie shoved a lime wedge into her teeth.

Anne’s eyes went wide as she yelled, “Wah da uck!?”

“Gilbert! Lick, sip, fuck!” Josie yelled. “Oops. I’m so sorry about that. I was supposed to say ‘suck,’ wasn’t I?”

Gilbert needed no coercing. He walked over to her and stood between her legs. He placed his hands on the table on either side of Anne, leaned over and slowly licked the entire trail of salt off Anne’s chest. He deftly got the shot out of her dress using only his teeth. Whereas Anne had put her entire mouth around the glass, Gilbert was using a plastic cup that he was able to bite the edge of and the alcohol smoothly poured into his mouth. He let the cup fall, caught it in his hand and threw it at Josie.

He wanted to kiss her so badly. He wanted to get the lime out of the way and properly make out with her, but Cole was right and part of Gilbert was able to comprehend that. He was sure now that Anne was in the same place he was, but he wouldn’t take advantage of the situation in front of all their friends. Not complete advantage anyway. He put his left hand on her hip, wrapped his right hand around her neck and leaned into her to remove the lime from her mouth, lingering in the position much longer than necessary. He slowly backed away as he bit down into the citrus, removed the peel from his mouth and again threw it at Josie.

As the group cheered, Anne slithered off the table to the floor.

“Holy fuck that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Tillie.

“It was only hot because we all know how much they want each other,” Jane explained. “If that were Cole and Josie, it would have been pretty tame.”

“Did you see his eyes?” Ruby asked. “How did she not melt?”

Josie looked down at the floor and said, “I think she did.”

Gilbert laid down on the floor next to her and said, “Are you okay?”

“Please tell me you were so good at that because of beginner’s luck. Tell me you didn’t bounce around the Caribbean licking women.”

He laughed and said, “I’ve taken many shots without using my hands, but no, I have never and will never lick another woman.”

“Damn it,” Anne whispered. “I really wish I could tell if this was real.”

He took her hand in his, kissed it and said, “I think it is.”

“We need a dare for Josie,” said Jane. “Last one.”

“Oh, I got this,” Anne said, getting to her feet. “You’ve been flirting with the bass player across the room all night Jo. They’re almost all packed up, but I say she deserves a tip, don’t you?”

“I didn’t bring any cash.”

“Your thong.”

The group gasped.

“Excuse me?”

“Excuse you what? You have me and Gilbert acting out the opening scene of a porno and you’re surprised by this? Hell no. Take off your underwear and look the bass player in the eye as you drop it into the basket in front of her. Then go outside and wait for her to follow you.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Then she doesn’t.”

Josie completed the dare as requested and the bass player quickly followed Josie out of the building.

Anne looked around the table at her friends and said, “I guess that’s game over. Pretty sure I won.”

“That’s debatable,” Gilbert said as he put his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.

Charlie got a call on his phone and said, “Finally,” as he walked away to answer it.

“That was fun, I kind of don’t want it to be done,” said Tillie.

“Excellent,” said Ruby. “I was at the bar and I heard some guy named Paul saying that he was interested in you. He’s at table seventeen. Go over there, ask for him and do seven minutes in heaven.”

“Where?”

“There’s a storage room just outside in the hall on the right,” said Gilbert. “What? I grew up with Diana, I’ve been here a couple times.”

Tillie walked over to table seventeen and said, “Stand up if your name is Paul.”

From across the room, her friends watched as two men followed Tillie out of the room.

“What the fuck,” said Jane in awe.

Charlie returned to the table and said, “The pizza is finally here.”

“Thank you!” Anne yelled and went over to him and shoved a piece into her mouth then said, “Hot! Hot! Hot!”

She stood there fanning her mouth and Gilbert provided her with a glass of water.

“Thank you,” she said quickly and then chugged the water.

The group continued eating, and chatting, calming down a bit from the craziness. Moody, Charlie and Jane went out to smoke celebratory cigars. At one point Jane was trying to balance on the edge of the fountain and lost her balance. In an attempt to avoid falling, she grabbed at the front of Charlie’s shirt and ripped it as she fell backward into the fountain. Moody and Charlie helped her out. Charlie walked her back to her room and then came back down to the reception again after throwing his damaged shirt in his room.

Tillie returned later with a smile on her face, unwilling to share any details.

They eventually got to the last pizza and Ruby was suddenly very hungry.

Moody opened the box and said, “Ah, fuck, they forgot to cut this one.”

“Whatever just toss it at me,” Ruby said.

Moody looked confused but picked up the entire pizza and tossed it to Ruby like a frisbee, who, though shocked, reached out with both hands, grabbed it and held it above her head and yelled, “Victory!”

***

An hour later, it was just Anne, Gilbert, Cole and Charlie sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. Anne was sleeping with her head on Gilbert’s shoulder. His head was resting on hers as his thumb gently caressed her leg just above her knee while he bargained with every god he could think of to not let this night end. Cole was drinking coffee. He figured Anne and Gilbert were probably safe from themselves for the night, but he couldn’t be too sure. Charlie was thinking about Jane, smiling to himself remembering how much fun they had that night.

Cole was eventually able to convince them to go up to their rooms. They were given four bedrooms to use as they needed; two for the guys and two for the girls, but Cole was not at all surprised to find that Anne’s bag had made its way into their room. Anne sleepily went into the bathroom to change into shorts and a tank top then crawled into the bed.

Cole went over and made her sit up so he could help take the pins out of her hair.

“Thank you, Cole,” she said quietly. “Sorry I made you kiss me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m honored you chose me.”

He took the final pin out and shook her hair out.

“Oh my god thank you so much, Cole. That’s so much better.”

“I thought it might be, now lay down and make good choices.”

Gilbert joined her a few minutes later. She was on her side facing away from him and he moved in behind her.

He thought she was sleeping when he kissed her shoulder and whispered, “I love you, Anne.”

She reached behind her, found his arm, wrapped it around her waist and said, “I love you too, Gilbert.”

Cole sat there watching in what he was certain was the creepiest moment of his life. Never did he expect to observe this intimate of a moment in another person’s relationship. He didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know if anything he had done that night was the right thing.

He did what he was asked, and he could find comfort in that. But part of him felt like he should have treated it all as if he were filming a nature documentary; no matter how hard it was to watch maybe he shouldn’t have interfered. He wanted them to be together so badly and he knew they wanted to be together so badly. He wanted all night just to let the pieces fall into place and let them deal with the repercussions, whatever they would be.

But he knew Anne. And he knew Gilbert. And he knew they would beat themselves up wondering if the other person only went along with it because they were high or drunk. Their relationship was painful enough to watch as it was; he couldn’t add another layer of anguish to it. Gilbert asked him to make sure they didn’t do anything stupid. Cole wasn’t sure he succeeded in that, but he could prevent the worst from happening. Their friendship deserved more that a drunken hook-up, of that he was certain.

He let Gilbert hold her as they slept, but he stayed awake the rest of the night, reading, making sure nothing else happened between them.

***

At eight o’clock, Cole dressed for the day and left the room for some coffee. Both he and Gilbert had to leave early.

Cole returned to the room after fifteen minutes with some food and coffee and walked in on Gilbert feeling up Anne, and her sighing in pleasure, though both of them still appeared to be asleep.

“Fuck,” Cole said as he quickly put the food down and ran across the room. “I leave for one freaking minute and come back to this shit. Gilbert, wake up.”

“No.”

“Gilbert, have you told Anne how you feel about her?”

“No.”

“Then you need to remove your hand from her breast.”

“What?!” Gilbert yelled then shot up in the bed. “Fuck! What the? Oh my god-” he said as he gagged and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Cole shut the bathroom door while Gilbert finished. Anne didn’t stir, but started shivering with the loss of heat, so Cole put Gilbert’s pillow behind her and wrapped the blanket around her.

Gilbert eventually emerged from the bathroom, his coloring pale and his eyes red.

“Relax, Gilbert.”

“I’m not going to relax after groping my best friend in her sleep. That is **not** okay.”

“No, it isn’t. But did you make a conscious effort to do it?”

“No.”

“Does she look harmed in any way?”

“No.”

“Did you stop when you became aware of what you were doing?”

“Yes.”

“Then a mistake to be sure, but if it helps, it looked like she was really enjoying it.”

“It doesn’t help, Cole. Damn it. How do I even apologize for this?”

“Either the truth or complete ignorance. Gilbert. I watched you all night, she is the one who wrapped your arm around her waist, okay? And that is nothing compared to how everyone else will assume you two spent the night.”

“Fuck, this is terrible,” Gilbert said and closed his eyes tightly trying to remember… anything. “Shit. What happened last night?”

“Well, you licked her boob and sucked a lime out of her mouth.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I’m totally not. It was incredibly hot by the way. She’s in for a real treat when she starts letting that tongue of yours do other things.”

“Stop talking, Cole.”

“I will not.”

“You’re serious right now?”

“Yes, Gilbert. And no, she didn’t mind you licking her, or taking the shot out of her cleavage using only your teeth or the fact that your lips lingered on hers for many seconds longer that necessary when you got that lime out of her mouth.”

“I can’t believe I don’t remember that.”

“Do you remember her biting your earlobe?”

“You can’t be serious. You’re teasing, now, right?”

“No.”

“Fuck!”

“I think I’ll stop there. What **do** you remember?”

He thought carefully, blurry bits and pieces came back to him, but nothing he could truly make out. “Dancing. I remember dancing with her and then nothing.”

“Fuck,” Cole said. “Damn it, Gilbert! you have got to be fucking kidding me! How can you not remember any of it?”

“I don’t know! What happened?”

“Never mind. You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”

“And what the hell is wrong with my neck?!”

Cole examined his neck. The bruising Anne had left was larger than a softball. It looked like he was diseased.

“I don’t know, looks like a rash,” he said, taking a picture. “You’re the med student, but I’ll look into it.”

“I don’t believe you but I’m afraid of the truth so I’ll let it go.”

He walked over to the bed, gently brushed the hair out of her face and woke Anne up.

“Carrots, Cole and I need to get going. He brought you coffee and some food.”

“Thanks Cole,” she said groggily.

“Quick question for you. Do you remember anything from last night? Anything at all?”

Anne thought about it and said, “I remember dinner and eating cake… fuck. I think that’s it. Why, did something happen?”

“I really have no idea,” Gilbert confessed. “I’m just hoping we had a good time and didn’t cause too much trouble.”

Cole scoffed and then started texting on his phone.

“Do you need anything before we go?”

“No. I don’t think so. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll see you in a couple weeks?”

“Yep. Bye, Gil. Have fun in Toronto.”

“Let me know how your grad school discussion goes tomorrow,” he said, then he kissed the top of her head, picked up his bag and left the room.

When they got into the hallway Cole sad, “In comparison with the night you two spent together that was the least satisfying goodbye that the world has ever known. Someday you’ll get the full story of what happened and it will blow your mind.”

“If I don’t remember it, I don’t want to know about it. Especially if it has any chance of making Anne upset.”

**Shirbert Watch Party – Group Chat**

_Guys, we have a huge problem._

_Josie: Tell me they finally fucked._

_Ruby: All we need is a confession. Tell me  
there was a confession._

_Tillie: They had to of at least gotten that far._

_Charlie: Cole you’re killing me. What went  
wrong?_

_Moody: Noooooo! Come on! What could have  
happened?_

_Jane: No idea how this could have possibly  
fallen apart. But I’m fucking pissed already._

_I talked with both of them.  
Neither of them remembers a fucking thing._

_Josie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?_

_Seriously.  
And I could tell they weren’t lying.  
The last thing Gilbert remembers is dancing  
with Anne.  
Anne doesn’t even have that much.  
No one can tell them what happened.  
Not a fucking word._

_Tillie: Just as well. I’d prefer we not talk about  
last night either._

_Josie: Agreed._

_Ruby: Agreed._

_Charlie: Agreed._

_Jane: And they’re not the only ones missing  
chunks of the night. That’s for damn sure._

_Look, I know this sucks but how much longer  
can it last, really?  
And as compensation, here is a picture of  
Gilbert’s neck._

_Tillie: Damn that girl can WORK IT!_

_Josie: So how did you explain that?_

_It’s fucking gruesome.  
I said it looked like a rash.  
And I’m not wrong.  
It does._

_Diana: Sorry we’re late! What did we miss?  
Did everyone have fun at the party? Sorry  
we weren’t able to hang out with you guys  
as much as we wanted, but you know how  
it is._

_We all had a blast Diana.  
And you didn’t miss anything because no one  
remembers anything.  
Congratulations to you both again.  
Enjoy your honeymoon!_

********Back to the Bonfire*******

“Gilbert licked Anne’s boob?” Jerry yelled.

“And she gave him a super-hickey? Diana added.

“Tillie had a threesome!” Ruby yelled.

“It was like a two and a half-some, max,” said Tillie. “And I **did** check to make sure they were clean by the way.”

As the group argued over the various events of the evening that they had partially remembered and others they had forcefully forgotten, Anne and Gilbert were calm and quiet.

After observing the group for a few minutes, she turned to him and quietly asked, “So that’s why you retreated from me?”

“Didn’t it occur to you that when said didn’t trust myself in bed with you that maybe it was based on previous experience?” he asked, clearly still troubled by the event.

“No. Not for a second. We had shared a bed countless times and any touching that had ever happened between us was always quite consensual, or even when unintentional, most welcome. Gilbert, look at me,” she said. He didn’t immediately and she had to use her hand to guide his gaze to her. “Look at me. I appreciate that you take this seriously, but you can’t let yourself feel this bad about it anymore. You didn’t take advantage of me; you didn’t abuse my trust in you. You never would. We both know that. Cole was right, you didn’t mean to do it and when you became aware, you stopped. Please don’t worry about it anymore.”

“You don’t remember it though? At all?”

“You have no idea how many times I have dreamed of you touching me. Like that and in so many other ways. All I remember is having a vivid dream that I was furious got interrupted.”

“I wonder sometimes what would have happened without Cole there,” Gilbert said.

“Cole,” said Anne, beckoning him to her with her finger.

He walked over to her and she stood up and hugged him.

“This is long overdue but thank you. Thank you for stopping us that night.”

“You’re not mad that I stopped you from probably getting together seven months before you finally did?”

“Not at all. But I would have been fucking pissed if I forgot the first time we kissed. But we didn’t kiss, right?”

“The lime thing was close, but no, you didn’t kiss.”

“Anne, you say that like our first kiss was some great success,” Gilbert said with a laugh.

“Oh, I know it wasn’t, but it’s ours and I sure as hell want to remember it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all ears. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Just a warning - I anticipate the next chapter will take some time because I only have about fifteen words completed. And they aren't very good.


	16. Four Rumors and an Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne meets Muriel and Rachel and deals with rumors regarding her and Gilbert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot more tepid than last chapter, so I hope you aren't bored. Hopefully you all understand that we couldn't keep up that level of crazy. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think!

“I just need to ask; no one recoded anything from that night, did they?”

“No, Anne,” said Cole. “I checked. If they did, I was going to show it to you both and then lock you in a room together until you sorted everything out.”

“Do you want us to act it out?” Jane offered. “Because I know Cole told us not to talk about it, but that shot and lick are burned into my memory.”

“That was not just a lick,” said Josie. “One licks an ice cream cone. She freaking devoured him.”

“Some of us do that to ice cream cones,” said Jane. “Don’t judge.”

“I really don’t think that will be necessary,” Gilbert said. “Thanks for offering. For those of you who did remember though, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because I vomited into a saxophone and wasn’t really interested in reliving that shame,” said Ruby.

“Because I had sex with someone I didn’t even know,” confessed Josie.

“As did I,” said Tillie. “I think we were all just so wrapped up in our own drama from that night. We had a hard time believing and accepting what we did, and if we brought up your shenanigans, we would have to relive ours. Which is exactly what happened, by the way.”

“And honestly, the way you two acted like nothing had happened afterward kind of had me thinking I had imagined it all,” explained Charlie. “Between that and the alcohol and the marijuana… who’s to say what was real?”

“Me,” said Cole. “I’m to say.”

“Can we just keep moving along?” Gilbert asked.

“Why, you got somewhere to be?” Bash asked.

“Obviously not,” he said a little nervously as he checked the time on his phone. “I’m just choosing not to dwell on lost memories that I would kill for that I know I’ll never get back.”

“Who is next?” Anne asked.

“That would be me,” Muriel said.

“Oh god,” Anne moaned and slammed her face into her hands in embarrassment. “Let me guess, you’re going to tell everyone about how we met?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“That was so humiliating.”

“Anne, I’m sorry you feel that way, and I know it must have been a hard day, but that was the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I almost started clapping when you walked away from us. I don’t think anyone had ever talked to Rachel like that before.”

“Well then it was long overdue. And I wasn’t trying to be mean; I just wanted her to treat Gilbert better.”

“And then she did. And she wasn’t even upset about it; she was impressed.”

“That August was just a dumpster fire of unfortunate Gilbert and Anne rumors and situations.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Gilbert reassured her, taking her hand in his.

Anne glared at him, shook her head then turned back to address the group.

“Gil went to check out the University of Toronto right after the wedding and was there for a week or so. Then the weekends following were just hot garbage.”

“She’s making them sound much worse than they were. Were the rumors rough? Yes. But besides that, what went so wrong?”

“Most notably, the ring and the lime. At least the lime thing makes sense now. Until about ten minutes ago I was still confused and embarrassed about that.”

“I don’t know about the lime, but the ring thing was cute.”

“It was not cute, Gilbert. It was awkward as hell.”

********August 2019********

**FW – Mobile**

_Hey.  
I feel weird- we haven’t talked in a few days._

_I’m aware.  
And it hasn’t been for my lack of trying.  
Are you mad at me?_

_NO.  
I’m sorry.  
I have issues.  
And then I had phone issues.  
Nothing to do with you at all.  
Everything from the wedding is still a blur-  
but did you kiss my head before you left on  
Sunday?_

_Yes.  
Is that a problem?_

_No.  
Of course not. _

_I guess I never really asked you though.  
I just started doing it.  
Is that okay?_

_Yeah._

_I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable with it._

_Gil.  
It’s fine.  
It’s good.  
Diana and I kiss each other on the cheek all  
the time, so I expect it’s the same thing here._

_Right…  
Of course you do._

_I just couldn’t tell if yours was real or not  
that morning.  
I’m trying to sort through, like snapshots in  
my mind of thigs that happened that night.  
Did I feed you a cherry?_

_I have no idea. I don’t usually let people feed  
me, so I’m gonna go with probably not?  
Who the hell knows though. Ask Cole._

_I won’t be talking to Cole for a while.  
How’s Toronto?_

_It’s impressive.  
Big.  
How’s home?_

_Quiet.  
Small.  
What do you think about the school?_

_Impressive.  
Big._

_You are so descriptive today._

_Sorry.  
Just trying to figure out the rest of my life.  
No big deal._

_What’s bothering you?_

_Starting over again? On my own?  
I’ve done it before.  
I don’t really want to do it again.  
Ever._

_Didn’t you say you have classmates going  
to both U of T and McGill?  
Those are still your two first choices, right?_

_Yeah. I’ll have some classmates at each._

_Well, there you have it then._

_I don’t HATE the idea of Toronto.  
But it isn’t really where I see myself.  
But that doesn’t matter.  
Because I could be happy anywhere, right?  
And it’s the best med school in the country.  
And I got in. So that’s where I should go.  
Right?_

_I’m not so sure about that. You’re the one  
who is always talking about trusting your gut.  
It sounds like you’re over-thinking things._

_My gut is trying to make life changing  
decisions without all the pieces I need._

_Why did you apply for early decision if you  
didn’t know what decision you would be  
making?_

_Because I thought that I wouldn’t be such a  
coward and that I would have everything I  
needed by now._

_What else do you need?_

_Never mind. I’ll figure it out._

_So I’m here, offering to help you sort through  
this and you just shut me out?  
Since when do you not talk to me?_

_I WILL talk to you about it I swear.  
I WANT to talk to you about it.  
More than anyone.  
I just need to figure out how to do it._

_Well, I’m confused.  
I’m going out with Diana.  
Let me know if I can actually help you._

_You already have._

Gilbert was flat on his back, stretched out across the bed in his hotel room, thinking. He felt like he had been there for hours and he wasn’t any closer to making a decision. The school was amazing. The faculty were incredibly impressive. The research opportunities there seemed endless. But really, he could say that all about McGill as well. And McGill was closer to Sebastian and Delphine. And he liked that it was smaller and seemed more personal, but did that justify passing up the best?

The missing information was obviously Anne. He didn’t really give a damn about what school he was at if he didn’t have her, which of course, he didn’t. If they had been dating, he would simply ask where she wanted to live and choose the school nearest to that. It would be so easy. And expected. But he was having a hard time justifying asking her opinion when she was ‘just a friend,’ which of course, she wasn’t.

He feared that if he asked her, she would simply refuse to respond, saying that he shouldn’t put that responsibility on her. And he knew he shouldn’t. But it wouldn’t be her decision. It would be her stating her preference and his decision to accommodate that, wholeheartedly and without reservation.

 _She will not see it that way,_ he thought to himself. _But if I just ask her honestly, she’ll probably tell me. I wonder if she would consider being my roommate. Because somehow that will make the situation easier? Yeah, right._

He brought his hands to his face and groaned loudly in frustration.

 _I need to tell her before that,_ he told himself. _Enough is enough._

***

_He was going to do it. No more excuses; no more interruptions. Today was the day. He had a plan and he was feeling good, confident, even cautiously optimistic. It was so simple; all he had to do was tell her that he loved her. It was just three little words and then it would be over. He drove to Green Gables, ran across the parking lot, into the house and up to her room and found her reading in bed._

_“Gilbert!” she said, clearly excited to see him. “Did you say you would be coming by?”_

_“No, sorry, I wanted to see you and just thought I’d stop by on my way back from the airport. Is that okay?”_

_“Very,” she said. “Come, sit.”_

_She moved over to make room for him and he went over to her bed and sat down next to her._

_“It’s really good to see you,” he said, his voice uneven._

_“You too,” she said with a smile. “Is something on your mind?”_

_“This,” he said as he abandoned his plan, leaned in and kissed her. It was a simple kiss that he ended before he wanted to, to be sure that what he was feeling was reciprocated. In response, she barely let him remove his lips from hers before she closed the gap again, threading her fingers through his hair and pulling him toward her, kissing him fervently as he sighed in relief. He would have sworn she kissed him as if she had been awaiting this moment just as long as he had. It wasn’t long before she took further control of the situation and pushed him down so he was on his back. Moments later she was straddling him and unbuttoning his shirt._

_“What took you so long?” she managed to ask between kisses._

_“I’m obviously an idiot,” he said as he laughed through the kisses. “I think we’ve been over this.”_

_He sat up, lifted her and switched their positions so she was on her back and he was gazing down into her eyes._

_“So… yeah…I’m in love with you. Is that okay?”_

_She laughed and said, “That is very okay. Kiss me.”_

_He gave her a soft kiss and then asked, “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe this. Do you really have feelings for me?”_

_“No, I beg all my friends to kiss me after I undress them. Is that not normal?”_

_He smiled and said, “It’s really not, you should probably talk to someone about that.”_

_“No more talking,” she said as she pulled him down to kiss her again._

_“That doesn’t really seem like you. Are you sure we don’t need to, like, discuss this?”_

_“I love you, Gilbert. And the only thing I want to do is take advantage of the sound insulation we loaded into this house. Shut up and kiss me. I’ve been waiting for this for years. Please don’t make me wait any longer.”_

He woke up suddenly. He was still in Toronto. Alone. He groaned in frustration, rolled over and punched the pillow next to him, fully prepared to kill whatever dared wake him up at that point in his dream. He wasn’t used to dreaming this much, and it was exhausting. He felt like he hadn’t gotten a full night of sleep since Diana’s wedding. Every night it was a different version of the same thing: him and Anne, together. At Green Gables, at his house, in his room at school, in hers, in the barn where they had danced, at the top of the lighthouse, on his dock. Sometimes it was a simple confession of love with a perfectly chaste kiss, other times… well, other times he was surprised by his imagination.

He wished he could remember what happened at the wedding. Cole mentioned a tequila shot, but that couldn’t be the whole story. Whatever it was, he assumed it was responsible for making him want Anne more than ever before, and he really didn’t think that was possible.

He looked at the clock and sighed. 3:07 AM.

**FW – Mobile**

_I can’t sleep._

_Me neither._

_Wow. Didn’t actually expect a response.  
I was just going to vent._

_I had an unusual dream.  
It’ll be a while until I can sleep again._

_Same._

_You need to vent?_

_No. Now that you’re actually here, I need to  
ask you a question. And please don’t ask me  
not to consider your answer.  
I’m asking because it matters to me._

_Okay?_

_If you go to grad school. Where are you most  
likely to go? I noticed you were only looking at  
schools in Montreal and Toronto._

_Yeah._

_Well, you know you’ll get in wherever you  
want. And I saw you looking at various job  
openings as well. In Montreal and Toronto._

_Well, I’ve been thinking that I’m going to  
have to move somewhere. Our school  
doesn’t have a grad program for education  
and I think I’m leaning that way versus  
getting a job. Honestly, I figured I’d look  
where you are looking then see where you  
decide. I hope that’s not, like, weird.  
The programs are comparable in quality.  
And I don’t want to be alone either.  
13 years was enough. Too much, actually.  
I finally have good friends.  
I’m not giving you up if I don’t have to._

_I honestly thought you’d be mad that I  
wanted your opinion to help me make this  
decision._

_You’re surprised that I want to stay close to  
you? Am I really that bad of a friend?_

_No!  
It’s just not your job to pick my med school._

_I’m not going to, you’ve already decided._

_That’s news to me.  
Care to share?_

_You’re going to McGill. You don’t want to go  
to Toronto, you just feel obligated to go there  
because it’s the best. But the best version of  
you is at McGill._

_That’s debatable._

_No, it isn’t._

_You’ll be there with me?_

_School or job, I will move to Montreal if you  
are there. _

_Then I agree, I will be my best in Montreal._

_That’s not weird is it?_

_No, it’s not weird.  
If everything else is equal, you might as well  
go where you have a friend._

_Exactly._

_Thanks for your help.  
I really appreciate it.  
Maybe my brain will calm down now that  
I’ve come to a decision about something.  
Hopefully the dreams will back off too._

_Are they such terrible dreams?  
Do you want to talk about them?_

_They’re definitely not terrible.  
Actually, they’re great, but they are not  
restful. And I’m so freaking tired.  
And they’re a little mean.  
Tempting me with something I want._

_So tell me about it._

_Not right now, sorry._

_What did I tell you about sharing the load?_

_This is one time that I need to get my own  
shit together. When I do, you’ll be the first  
to know._

_When do you get back?_

_Tonight, technically. Want to grab dinner?  
I can swing through New London on my  
way back._

_Haha, that is NOT on the way back._

_Fine.  
Want to grab dinner?  
I can stop in New London instead of  
heading home right away._

_Sounds great. Let me know when you land._

***

That afternoon, Anne picked up her prescription, stormed out of the store, angrily got into Matthew’s truck and slammed the door.

She got out her phone to text Gilbert but couldn’t type coherently so she decided it would be better to call him.

“Anne. Hi. I was just about to text you. I just got on the plane.”

“Good work Gilbert, I’m pregnant.”

“ **What**?!” he yelled into his phone, then looked around and silently apologized to the passengers around him for his outburst before sitting down in his seat. Luckily, it wasn’t a full flight and he was alone in his row and had a little privacy. He continued in a whisper, “I’m sorry, I don’t care what the fuck I was on. There’s no way in hell that I could have possibly forgotten having sex with you!”

“Damn straight you wouldn’t forget having sex with me!” she said quickly and then immediately regretted it. “Wow, sorry, that was a lot of unearned confidence right there. I’m just really irritated. Anyways. We may have forgotten a lot about that wedding, but we obviously didn’t have sex, and anyway, that wouldn’t even line up right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was just in the pharmacy picking up my birth control, which you know I’m on, by the way, so I’m not sure how you thought I could actually be pregnant, but whatever. Anyway, Jenny was surprised to see me picking up that medication since I’m **four fucking months along with your child**. Apparently we eloped at the end of the school year, didn’t you hear?”

“I did not,” he said with a laugh, jealous of this imaginary version of himself.

“Do I look pregnant?”

“No,” he answered quickly.

“You can’t even see me.”

“I’m not stupid, Anne. The answer is no. And I’m sorry we are surrounded by crazy people.”

“I just can’t understand why they don’t have something better to talk about.”

“Well, have you seen us together? We’re a pretty good-looking couple.”

“Yeah, Avonlea’s Golden Boy and the poor orphan he swooped in to save.”

“And now you’re the crazy one.”

“And you know what? Whatever, I’ve learned people are going to say what they want, but can’t they keep it behind my back and not bring me into it? Ignorance really is bliss in these situations.”

“I’m sure it just got worse because people saw us dancing together at the wedding.”

“Which I don’t remember.”

“Yeah, I can actually remember that part and I honestly don’t see why it’s a big deal. I swear to you, we were just dancing. It’s not like it was inappropriate or anything. And whatever else happened that night we were hidden in that corner.”

“Do you think Diana and Jerry put our table there on purpose assuming things would get out of hand?”

“Oh, absolutely I do.”

“Are we still getting dinner tonight?”

“Are you sure you want to risk it?” he asked with a laugh.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we’re already married and you’re pregnant, aren’t you scared to see what happens next?”

“What else could they possibly say?”

“Fair point. I need to get off my phone before I get yelled at. I’ll let you know when I land and then head your way.”

“Okay. Be safe.”

“I will sit here as safely as I possibly can.”

***

He parked his car at Green Gables and walked toward the door, saying the words in his head over and over again so he wouldn’t screw up his confession. Anne walked out the door before he reached it and greeted him with a hug. As usual, he was rendered momentarily speechless at the sight of her, but the hug gave him time to gather himself again.

“Let’s walk,” Anne suggested.

“Let me get this straight,” he said, taking in the sight of her, “Not only did you steal my hat, but you have the temerity to wear it in front of me?”

“I wear this hat all the time.”

“Not around me, and we spend a lot of time together.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Gilbert, maybe you just don’t pay attention.”

“That can’t be it.”

“And I don’t have a ton of confidence, but even I know I rock this hat.”

“Obviously. I still can’t believe you actually stole that from me. You’re so mean.”

“It was a community service.”

“How the hell is you stealing my hat community service?”

 _You looked too hot and I couldn’t handle it; I am the community,_ she thought, but then answered him, “I can’t really get into that. Just trust me.”

“That grin indicates that maybe I shouldn’t.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll tell you some day, but I don’t think today is the day.”

They walked to the bar. It had been Gilbert’s plan to try to confess his feelings for her over dinner, but the waitress was overly attentive and hardly gave them more than a couple minutes without stopping by to check on them. He took it as a blessing though; he was so excited to get it over and done with that he didn’t think about the fact that it probably wasn’t an appropriate thing to discuss in a crowded bar. He figured he would see if she wanted to go to a park on the way back to Green Gables and talk to her about it then. But the moment they stepped outside, Anne got a call from Marilla apologizing for interrupting them and telling her to hurry back because she needed help with something.

“I’m so sorry, Gilbert.”

“For what?”

“I’m not really sure, but you look sad.”

“I’m not sad, Anne.”

“You’ve never been a good liar.”

“I’m not lying!” he laughed. “I’m not sad. I **am** a little frustrated. But that’s not your fault.”

“Is it Marilla’s fault?”

“No. It’s my fault, but I’m all for pushing it off onto Marilla if you’re cool with that. Just don’t tell her.”

“No problem. Let’s go.”

*****One Week Later*****

**FW – Mobile**

_I finally told Sebastian that I’m going to McGill.  
He’s so relieved.  
I wish he would’ve said something sooner._

_You know he couldn’t make that decision for you._

_He could have helped!_

_Not with a clear conscious he couldn’t.  
You’ve already given him so much, Gil._

_I have an odd request._

_Anything._

_Bash is going to ask Muriel if she wants to  
move in._

_Holy crap._

_Yeah._

_Are you okay with that?_

_Definitely._

_But…_

_I don’t really want to have my room next to  
theirs. Not that I’ll be here that much, but still._

_Ahhhh.  
Haha.  
Got it.  
Wait, what is your request?_

_Well, I’m going to suggest they take the  
master bedroom._

_You mean your dad’s room?_

_Yeah._

_You said you hadn’t been in your dad’s room  
since he passed._

_Yeah.  
I think I need some help.  
That’s a lie.  
I know I need some help.  
Definitely.  
I can’t do this alone.  
Or it won’t get done.  
(Prime example of this being that it’s been  
4 years and I haven’t done it.)_

_When?_

_Whenever._

_No. Pick a time._

_Next Saturday. 10AM?_

_I’ll be there. What are you up to today?_

_We’re crazy busy. Harvest is running early.  
In order to avoid wasting the crop we’ll  
be making pie all day. What about you?  
Want to come help?_

_And actually meet Sebastian?  
You think you’re ready for that? LOL._

_No. But It’s probably time._

_I’d love to, but I can’t.  
I have post-celebration barn clean-up to  
take care of and grocery shopping to do for  
Marilla._

_Sounds riveting._

_It’s not. I’m on my way out the door.  
I’ll talk to you later._

*******

“I can’t believe our grocery store ran out of cinnamon,” Rachel spat in disgust.

“They ran out because we bought it all; you can hardly blame them. How were they supposed to know we would be making pies so early this year?” Muriel asked.

“People talk. They should have heard the harvest was early and should have prepared accordingly.”

“You talk. And you expect too much from people. It’s unreasonable.”

“What I expect is fine. People just need to do better. I find that people are a constant source of disappointment to me.”

“Can’t you just accept that what people do isn’t any of your business? I think you would avoid a lot of disappointment that way.”

“It IS my business when I love those people. And I love my town. So everything here is my business. Which reminds me. Why aren’t you married yet?”

“Sebastian and I have only been together for a year.”

“At your age, that’s an era.”

“It has been significant in meaning, but not in time. We didn’t see this coming. At all. Things are good. Really good. Someday, we will probably get married, but we aren’t in a hurry and we are quite happy as we are. We have each other. We have support. We have our families: my parents, you, Delphine and Gilbert.”

“Gilbert Blythe. Don’t even get me started on that boy.”

“You mean that **man** who is successfully co-running a business while attending school full-time and who will be studying at one of the best medical schools in the country next year? Yeah, poor baby,” she finished sarcastically. 

“But what about a woman?”

“You know quite well how he feels about Anne. They have time; they will figure it out.”

“You should have seen him dancing with that ‘friend’ of his. My word, it was nearly pornographic.”

Muriel laughed and said, “I **highly** doubt that. You’ve just become a bit of a prude in your old age.”

Rachel ignored her and continued, “If she can’t figure out his feelings for her by now, he needs to start moving on.”

“Oh no, no, no. He has never said a damn thing to her. You’re a, well let’s put it kindly, a traditionalist, aren’t you? Why are you blaming her for his reticence to tell her how he feels?”

“Anyone with half an eye can tell how he feels. Hell, you don’t even need an eye. I walked past them together and I could practically smell the lust.”

“That’s not lust, Rachel, that’s just Gilbert’s cologne.”

They heard the bells on the door jingle and a cherry voice greeted the manager near the entranace.

“Good morning, Mr. Avery! How are you doing today?”

“Quite well, Miss Cuthbert. How are you?”

“Fine enough, thank you. Is your wife feeling better?”

“Afraid not. Looks like its hyperemesis gravidarum.”

She grimaced and said, “I don’t know what that means, but it certainly doesn’t sound good.”

“Really, really bad morning sickness that lasts all the time.”

“Oh no,” she said apologetically. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there any way to help?”

“She’s actually been craving only one thing and I hate being a bother-”

“Anything; just name it. What does she want?” Anne asked eagerly.

“Would you see if Marilla would make some plum puffs for her? We’ll pay, of course.”

“Ha! No you won’t. You know Marilla would never take your money. I’ll make them later today and drop them off tonight, okay?”

“You are an angel, my girl.”

“I am but your humble servant,” she said as she bowed and walked away.

“That’s the one!” Rachel whispered excitedly. “That’s the harlot leading Gilbert on! I’m sure if we listen we will become privy to her actual nature and we can give Gilbert a warning. Lead him away from her before he’s too far gone.”

“Yeah. I’m sure Gilbert isn’t at all aware of her nature after being her best friend for three years. He doesn’t just have a crush, Rachel. He **knows** her, to her very core and loves every bit of her. I’m certain there is nothing unsavory to discover. Wow, she is beautiful,” Muriel whispered.

“Would we call that beautiful? Unique maybe…”

“Please Rachel, even you must admit she is stunning.”

Rachel grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her down the aisle adjacent to the one Anne walked down.

“Good lord, you can’t be serious right now. We are not going to spy on that young woman.”

They watched Anne approach the meat counter and stare at the man behind the counter.

“See look at that. I knew it! That girl is stringing Gilbert along and probably half this town! She headed right back to the most handsome man in here.”

“She probably just wants some meat!”

“Oh, I’ll bet she does.”

“Gross, Rachel. I work with high school seniors and this is the most infantile behavior I have encountered in years.”

“Well, well, well. Mr. Dunlop,” Anne said seriously as she approached the meat counter. “I can’t believe you’d dare show your face around here after the way you left.”

“Excuse me? The way **I** left? How dare you. You were halfway to Charlottetown before I even thought about leaving.”

Anne started laughing and said, “I can’t believe you’re back! And I can’t believe you’re married! Are you just the happiest you’ve ever been?”

Mr. Dunlop ran out from behind the counter, picked her up in a giant hug and spun her in a circle.

“My word I’ve missed you, Anne.”

“Oh, I’ve missed you too. Tell me everything.”

“Everything would require time I’m sure Marilla has not bestowed on you today. Suffice it to say, I took your advice and followed my dreams and I return to New London an educated, if not yet successful, baker and married to the love of my life.”

“Yet here you are back at the meat counter?”

“I’m remodeling the building next door. Soon, we will have a bakery, right here in New London, and everyone will have Anne Cuthbert to thank.”

“You know that’s not true,” she said modestly. “This is your accomplishment, entirely.”

“Which was only brought about by your encouragement and helping me see that I was capable of achieving my dream. Thank you, Anne, really.”

“You are so welcome. And when will I meet the love of your life?”

“Whenever you want. Maddy has found a job at the library, I’m sure you’ll run into her soon.”

“Maddy is your wife! I met her yesterday! Mr. Dunlop! Nice pull!”

“Nice pull?” Mr. Dunlop asked, laughing. “Really Anne? Have you lost your romanticism at that university of yours?”

“I didn’t lose it. I’m just trying to be normal.”

“You are so much better than normal. You know that.”

She scoffed and said, “That remains to be seen.”

“I’ve heard rumors that you have found a nice pull of your own. The words ‘perfect gentleman’ and ‘hotter than hell’ have been mentioned.”

Anne laughed and said, “Those are both adequate descriptions of my friend, Gilbert.”

“Not boyfriend?”

“Not boyfriend.”

“But I heard you two were almost engaged.”

“So did I. I’ve also heard that I’m secretly married, not nearly good enough for him, pregnant with his unborn child and just using him until someone better comes along. Small towns are fun like that, aren’t they?”

“Ah, I see.”

“Yeah. He’s from Avonlea, so between the two towns, there are a lot of people very concerned about the status of our relationship. We tell each other pretty much everything though, and I promise not once has he ever proposed and at risk of sharing too much, I swear to you there is no way that I could possibly be pregnant. On that note though, you’re right, Marilla needs be back sooner than later, so I’d better get going. It’s wonderful to have you back Mr. Dunlop. I look forward to visiting your bakery.”

“Nice to see you, Anne. Have a good day.”

“Well, Rachel now you know, she’s a good girl, with a good heart and is apparently not sleeping around. With anyone. Tell me that satiates this incessant need for knowing everyone’s business.”

“It does not. Come now, she’s heading over to the flowers.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Montgomery.”

“What the hell are you doing over here, Anne?”

“What a greeting!” Anne said with a smile.

“Please, girl,” she said offering her a hug and kissing her cheek. “You just know Marilla would never let you buy flowers from the store.”

“She absolutely would. You have things that we don’t. We only have wildflowers, you know that.”

“Are you looking for something special today?”

“No, I just wanted to say ‘hi.’”

“I heard just the other day that you are to be congratulated.”

“That’s probably not true, but what did you hear?”

“That you’re engaged to that Blythe boy, from Avonlea Apples?”

“Where are you people getting your information from?” Anne complained.

“All around town. Everybody is talking about it.”

“Well, everybody needs to stop. I am not engaged to Gilbert. I am not pregnant. I am just his friend. And might I just say that it’s pretty on point that a man comes up with a plan to get out of an awkward situation and leaves the woman to clean up the mess?”

She laughed and said, “That sounds about right. So who is he engaged to then?”

“No one. Unless he proposed to someone in the last week and didn’t tell me.”

“I heard that he was awful cozy with someone at that Barry wedding.”

“Yeah. That was me.”

“And that he took some girl to have dinner in the very spot his father proposed to his mother.”

“Me again.”

“And didn’t he stay out at Green Gables-”

“Yes! Okay? We’re close. No one would be saying anything if I were spending so much time with Diana!”

“They might not be saying you are engaged, but I assure you people would be talking.”

“Fair point.”

“Oh! I was wondering, would you be able to babysit next Saturday? We’re coming out for the wedding at Green Gables that afternoon and I know you’re not usually too busy during the ceremony. My daughter is in the wedding and it’d be nice to watch my niece get married instead of worry about chasing my daughter’s kids.”

“I actually have plans already. I’m so sorry,” Anne apologized awkwardly.

“Let me guess: Gilbert?”

“Shut up, Mrs. Montgomery,” Anne said and began walking away.

“Anne, if he isn’t interested, walk away before you become too attached.”

She turned around, looked at the woman and mouthed, “Too late,” then continued on her way around the grocery store.

“What did she say?” Rachel asked.

“I didn’t hear. And it doesn’t matter. Stand up and act your age. And by that I mean a sane and reasonable sixty, not the delusional crazy sixty you are currently rocking.”

***

Anne finished her grocery shopping in silence, having finally come to the conclusion that no good could come from checking in with people today. She paid and headed out to her car only to be stopped by two women just as she left the store.

“Speak of the devil.”

“Ugh, what fresh hell is this?” Anne muttered to herself then continued clearly, “That isn’t really what I go by nowadays, though I know the red hair can throw people off.”

“Oh, I know. You’re Anne Cuthbert.”

“Why does it sound like you’re accusing me of something terrible? It’s a pretty plain name. I hardly think you have the right to be that upset about it.”

“This is Muriel Stacey-”

Anne’s tone changed instantly and she excitedly said, “Oh my gosh! Hi! You’re Sebastian’s girlfriend! It is so nice to meet you!”

“My pleasure, Anne. It’s wonderful to finally-”

“And I’m Rachel Lynde.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” Anne said flatly. “Your reputation precedes you, Mrs. Lynde.”

“As does yours. You’re the girl who is Gilbert’s ‘friend.’”

“Perpetually.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet at Diana’s wedding.”

“Are you? Because I’m not really getting that vibe from you.”

“I am. Gilbert speaks **very** highly of you, Miss Cuthbert. And you certainly seemed to be getting on well at that wedding. Besides the bride and groom, I think you were the most dazzling couple on the dance floor.”

“That’s kind of you to say. I think.”

“I’m surprised that woman of your beauty and reported intellect would allow someone who is just a friend to dance with her so closely.”

“Were we dancing closely? I don’t remember.”

“How could you not remember?” Rachel asked, appalled.

“Oh, I don’t know, it was a busy night. Also, alcohol is a thing that exists. Among other things.”

Muriel laughed, having been fully informed of what Anne and Gilbert used that night.

“If I might be so bold,” Rachel continued.

“I think you’re going to whether I like it or not. Why even bother asking?”

“You and Gilbert don’t really present yourself to the community as a couple of people who are just friends.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. Tell me, when is Gilbert proposing to me again? Or are we already married? How far along am I? Am I showing yet?” Anne asked, standing to the side, with her hand on her abdomen.

“People are just making educated assumptions based on what they’ve seen, dear girl. You two insist on making such a scene you cannot be surprised by the reactions.”

“I don’t believe you have the authority to decide what I deem worthy of surprise. I can and will refuse to suppress my surprise when I hear an entire town, two towns actually, assume that I am engaged to my best friend when he has shown no such intention to me, the person who knows him better than anyone. Maybe the people of the community should mind their own business and focus less on how they think we are presenting ourselves. The way we act when we are together is not done with pleasing the community in mind, Mrs. Lynde.”

“Clearly. And please, call me Rachel.”

“I’d rather not. Gilbert and I have always and will always act in our relationship as **we** see fit. The community is not a part of it. Our friendship is unorthodox, I will grant you that, but just because you are having a difficult time defining it, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or needs altering in any way whatsoever. Gilbert left home alone at nineteen, traveled the world, helped a woman deliver a baby in a hurricane, found his calling and returned home with a family. What makes you think he would start fitting in your boxes now?”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m certain I won’t fit in your boxes either. All signs indicate that I’m a huge disappointment to you already, though I’m not sure why. You don’t even know me. But Gilbert told me you’re interested in him finding a wife and settling down. And going by the look on your face, you think I’m somehow getting in the way of that. I promise you that is not my intention.”

“And what is your intention then?”

“I intend to let the only opinions I care about regarding our relationship be mine and his. You do not need to know my intentions and you do not need to know his. Woman to woman? I suggest you back out of his life a bit. I know you love him. I know he is like a son to you. But if you keep sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, he **will** push you away. He may be the kindest man alive, but we all have our breaking points.”

“You wouldn’t dare tell him to do that.”

“Of course I wouldn’t! I don’t **tell** him to do anything! He is an incredibly successful adult! He doesn’t need me or anyone else taking care of him! He’s the smartest and the most level-headed person that I know! Everything he does, every little thing is done with careful planning and consideration. He doesn’t act on whims and he certainly wouldn’t abandon a relationship just because someone tells him to. But you are wearing on him, Mrs. Lynde. Don’t you think there is enough pressure on him already? Think about what he’s been through. Isn’t it enough? Just let him be!”

“And what about you? Will you let him be?”

“As previously stated: Our friendship will continue as it has. Whatever it becomes or does not become in the future is **not** your business,” Anne growled at her.

“I must say, I do not appreciate your tone.”

“And I must say I do not appreciate your harassment or that you proclaim to care for Gilbert yet treat him with such disrespect! You know how intelligent and remarkable he is, yet you hover over him like he is some child with lighter! Surely you can see how well he is doing! He is only twenty-three years old, managing a business, excelling in undergrad, got accepted into every medical school he applied to, he is surrounded by the very best friends and family anyone could hope for and I promise you he is happy! Your belief that he is in need of wife to be successful and happy is not only blatantly untrue, but from everything I’ve heard about you, it is completely disingenuous. I know you had a long life with your adoring husband and that it was a relationship envied by many and one most of us can only hope to have one day. I know you must miss him desperately, every single day of your life, but I ask you now, Mrs. Lynde. Before you met him were you insufficient in any way? Now that he has passed are you somehow less than you were while he was with us? I think likely not. I can see who you are, and it is a woman of strength, love and perseverance, no matter how misguided you may currently be regarding your concern for Gilbert’s future. He doesn’t need to get married to be happy. He doesn’t need to be ‘settled-down’ for him to be on the ‘right’ path, whatever that may be. He is a good man, Mrs. Lynde. And he will find his way in the world as he has done these last four years. If there is nothing else?”

“You best not be leading him on, girl. Marilla broke John’s heart, I will not see another Cuthbert destroy a Blythe.”

“Excuse me?! John broke Marilla’s heart **.** And Gilbert got caught in the crossfire. Marilla misses John every single day and you will not speak that way of her again. And did you not hear my opinion of Gilbert? Do you not understand how much I admire him? Yet you think I would disrespect him in such a way? My apologies for overestimating your intelligence; I promise it won’t happen again. Let me be clear: I am not leading him on, I promise you that,” Anne said, and then silently relished in the opportunity to deliver one of her favorite lines from Pride & Prejudice: “You have insulted me in every possible way and can now have nothing further to say. Good-bye.”

She turned to face Muriel and said, “It was a pleasure to meet you,” then walked away.

Muriel couldn’t help herself and started laughing as soon as Anne was out of earshot.

She turned to Rachel and asked, “So? What do you think about Miss Cuthbert?”

“She’ll do,” Rachel said as they watched Anne put her groceries into her truck and return the cart. “She’ll do just fine.”

***

Muriel and Rachel returned to the orchard and Rachel headed to the barn while Muriel ran to the house. She found Sebastian and Gilbert in the kitchen and rushed over to Gilbert and hugged him.

“Um… wrong one, Muriel,” Sebastian said, confused.

“I’m so happy for you!” she yelled into Gilbert’s ear.

“Shh! Delphine is sleeping. Thanks for the hug, but I’m confused.”

“Rachel and I were just at Halvorson’s.”

“The grocery store in New London?”

“Yeah. And we met Anne.”

“Ah, fuck,” Gilbert groaned. “What did Rachel do?”

“Anne is by far the most brilliant young woman I have ever met. You should have heard her spar with Rachel. Sorry, it wasn’t sparring. That implies Rachel put up a fight.”

“Is she still standing?”

“Anne? She’s fine.”

“No. Rachel. I know Anne’s fine, but Rachel isn’t used to that tongue.”

“Are you?” Sebastian asked with a wink.

“Yes, though not in the way I’d like to be,” he admitted and elicited a chuckle from Sebastian and an eyeroll from Muriel. “So why are you happy for me?” he asked.

“Gilbert you should have heard how she defended you. And she did it in a way that actually gave credit to Rachel and her character instead of tearing her down which honestly, she deserved. Quite a bit in fact. Until the end that is.”

“What did Rachel say?”

“She may have said that you were acting inappropriately for two people who are just friends and that Anne was leading you on.”

“Well, that’s not true.”

“She seemed to indicate your behavior at the wedding especially.”

“Which I don’t remember. I told you that.”

“She only talked about the dancing. You said you remembered that much.”

“The dancing was dancing. There wasn’t anything weird about it. And if anyone is leading anyone on, that would have to be me.”

“You’re not leading her on. You’re in love with her,” Sebastian clarified. “That’s a critical detail here and the exact opposite of leading her on. Damn, Muriel, I can’t believe you got to meet her before me. What was she like?”

“She is incredible. Absolutely magnificent. You know how we kept saying he must be exaggerating her traits?” she asked and then shook her head. “No. It may have been a short interaction, but she is **exactly** as he described. She is an absolute force of nature. And Gilbert, I heard her speaking today. Anne **is** in love with you. I’m absolutely certain of it. If she doesn’t know it yet. She’ll figure it out soon. The rumors might be starting to get to her though.”

“What rumors?”

“That you are engaged, secretly married, that she is pregnant with your child.”

“Oh, right. If only,” Gilbert responded and Sebastian and Muriel both laughed.

“We heard Anne mention she was spending time with you next weekend?”

“Yeah.”

“Big date?” Muriel asked hopefully.

“She’s helping me go through my dad’s stuff and clear out his room, so really, really not.”

“Why now?”

Gilbert looked across the island at Sebastian, quickly averted his eyes and said, “It’s just time. I don’t want to head off to med school and still have a room that everyone fears to go into, and I don’t have any idea how crazy next summer will be with graduating and moving and everything, so I just want to get it done.”

“Oh. Okay,” Muriel said then thought back again to her interaction with Anne.

“Muriel, you okay?” Sebastian asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Just thinking about Anne.”

“Oh no, no, no. Not you too! I already got one fool here who can’t get shit done because he’s thinking about her. I will not have another!” Sebastian said.

“You are going to adore her, Sebastian. So, so much. And Gilbert? Get your shit together. Pretty sure that girl is going to be my new best friend.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, so hurry up. I’m getting sick of you two.”

“I’m trying, really.”

“And based on everything I just told you, shouldn’t you call her or something?”

“Why?”

“To check on her?”

“Seems to me she had the situation well sorted. And she isn’t really someone who needs checking on.”

“That’s not the point, don’t you want to be supportive?”

“I am supportive. And I know her, okay? She knows I’m here and I know not to push things until she’s ready to talk about them. If she’s interested in my support or opinion or if she just needs to yell at me, I promise you, she’ll let me know.”

His phone chimed, he looked at the display and smiled, then looked Muriel in the eye as he answered and said, “Hi Anne. How was your day?... Yeah I heard. I’m sorry… Hey, before you get started, are you just venting or are you looking for solutions?... Well, it’s important to have objectives so I know how to best help… Yes, I am a nerd, but you called to vent, so go for it.”

*****One week later*****

Anne knocked on the door and Gilbert opened it after a couple seconds.

“Anne-girl!”

“What the fuck kind of name is that?”

“Cute?”

“Basic. Laziest fucking nickname I’ve ever heard. I’m extremely disappointed in you. And why aren’t you ever wearing a shirt?”

“Because I shower in the morning and you always show up early.”

“Always being twice?”

“You could just be nice to me. I for one never complain when you aren’t wearing clothes.”

He looked her up and down. She had her hair up and was wearing polka dot rain boots, a skirt, a fitted sweater and a teal raincoat that came down to her knees.

“Cute,” he repeated himself. “Do you know the band Cake?”

“No.”

“They have a song called _Short Skirt/Long Jacket_.”

“And?”

“And I didn’t get it before. I do now.”

“I’ll look it up. Are you drunk?”

“Psh no. Course not.”

She took his mug from him, smelled it and said, “You are a huge liar.”

“I’m **not** drunk. But I have been drinking.”

“What’s in there?”

“Bailey’s.”

“How many have you had?

“Well, I’ve been up since six and this is my fifth cup and there’s about a shot in each so…”

“Damn it Gil, you’re are definitely drunk. The alcohol is just because you have to go through your dad’s stuff right?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

“The last time I drank was at Diana’s wedding. I assume.”

“Can I actually come in?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I got distracted.”

“By what?”

“You. Looking like that.”

“This is just the way I look, Gilbert.”

“I am well aware. Did you want something to drink?”

“Well, you’re five drinks in already, so how about a rum and coke?”

“Just because I’m making bad choices, doesn’t mean you need to.”

“Just think about it as emotional support rum. If you think this is going to be easy for me just because I didn’t know him, you’re wrong. I don’t really look forward to seeing you in pain.”

He mixed her the drink and slid it toward her across the table.

“Thank you. I assume Bash is out?”

“Yeah. He had some things to take care of this morning and then tonight is the big ask.”

“Is he asking her to marry him?!”

“No. I told you he’s asking her to move in.”

“That’s **not** the big ask then.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint your romantic side, but no. He’s just asking her to move in. They spend practically all their time together anyway; her lease is up and they are raising her rent by two hundred dollars a month and she’s pissed.”

“So this is cohabitation of convenience…”

Gilbert laughed and said, “Can no one live up to your standards?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your need for grand gestures and sweeping proclamations. Isn’t that what you read in all those favorite stories of yours?”

“I didn’t say anything about grand gestures, I was just surprised. If they are moving in together, why doesn’t he just propose? Everything indicates they are heading that way anyway.”

“How is a proposal of convenience better than cohabitation of convenience?”

“I do not understand why we are arguing right now,” she said, exasperated.

“We’re arguing because it sounds like you think less of their relationship because they aren’t doing things in the order you think is right.”

“Then I have either not been clear or you have misinterpreted my intentions. Does he love her?”

“Yes.”

“Does she love him?”

“Yes.”

“Then why not **be** together? Why not team up? Completely?”

“I’m not going to pretend to know what they are thinking. But it’s up to them. If and when they are interested in marriage, I’m sure they will get married, but they can live a wonderful, committed life together without being married.”

“I know that! It’s just…”

“It’s just that you were a lonely kid and you want everyone to live happily ever after and in your mind, that means getting married.”

“Son of a bitch,” she said as realization dawned on her. “How messed up is that?”

“It’s fine, Anne. You are allowed to believe whatever you want. But Bash and Muriel? They’re happy. I promise.”

“You are a very articulate drunk.”

“Not really. I just know you really well.”

“What’s going to happen to you then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what if she moves in and they start making a bunch of baby Bashes?”

“Then I will hide in Montreal with you.”

“Seriously. What if they take over the house?”

“It’s his house too. And I’m trying a new thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Not planning.”

“What?! You must have had way more to drink that you let on.”

“Well, I know where I’m going to school. I just need to pass my classes and graduate. I don’t need to worry about finding a cheap place to live, because I will actually be able to afford to live where I want. And I know you’ll probably be there with me. And I don’t need to worry about finding a job. And I’m not going to worry about after med school yet, because I’m not even there yet. I just have one thing I’m going to focus on this year.”

“What’s that?”

“The thing I told you that I need to work on by myself.”

“And then I’ll be the first to know?”

“The very first.”

“Cryptic, but I won’t pry.”

“Thank you. What about you? What does your year look like?”

“Probably pretty hellish. Big test in the spring. I’ll need my study buddy.”

“You are such a dork. But you know I’ll be there.”

Gilbert excused himself to go finish getting dressed then returned to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich to help absorb the alcohol. While he was making it, he occasionally looked at Anne and noticed she was biting her bottom lip. This wasn’t new. She often seemed to bite her lip when she looked at him. What he didn’t understand was why.

“You do that a lot.”

“What?”

“Bite your lip.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah. Like all the time.”

“Interesting.”

“Want to offer an explanation?”

“Probably just me trying not to say every damn thing that pops into my head.”

“You know I like to hear what you’re thinking, right?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m comfortable saying everything out loud.”

“Do what you want, as long as you’re holding yourself back and not doing it over concern about my opinion.”

“Oh it’s definitely both those things. I’m sure I’ll tell you eventually. But for now, deal.”

“You’ve been looking at me like that for three years,” he said and then laughed. “We still haven’t reached ‘eventually’?”

“Nope.”

***

“So do you have a plan?” Anne asked as they stood together in front of the door to John’s former bedroom.

“There are some sweaters I want to keep that contain a lot of my memories of him, but all other clothes can be donated.”

“What about all the other stuff?”

“He had been preparing for a while. I don’t think there will be much.”

“Alright. Are you ready?” she asked him as she slid her hand into his.

“No,” he said as he squeezed her hand. “Thank you for being here.”

“You’re welcome. Come on then,” she said as she opened the door and led him into the room. Anne marveled at the sight. It really was completely undisturbed.

Gilbert stopped walking as Anne continued and their arms stretched out between them.

“Gil, why don’t you sit down and I’ll get the boxes.”

He plopped down on the bed and took some deep breaths. He really didn’t think it would be this hard after all this time. He obviously knew there was no way his dad was coming back, but there was a finality with removing what remained of him at the house that Gilbert was struggling with.

Anne returned with the boxes, then sat down next to him and rubbed his back as he leaned forward staring at the floor.

“Do I know how to show a girl a good time or what?” he asked after a few minutes, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t really figure this would be a fun day. What do you want to start with?”

“The dresser I guess. I can pretty much just dump everything into boxes.”

“Let me,” she said and went over to get started. “I’m sorry. I’m not touching your dad’s underwear. It’s too weird. And you can’t donate that, you’ll need to throw it away.”

“Agreed.”

“Dude loved a colorful sock, huh?”

Gilbert laughed and explained, “He had a thing about socks, yeah. They had to have wild patterns on them. He was pretty traditional, so he usually wore suits to school, but his personality came through in his socks. And he loved that they were so inexpensive, so he never felt bad buying more when he found some that spoke to him.”

“Is there a pair you like most?”

“Yeah, ah, these ones,” he said, getting up and picking a pair of bright pink socks covered in spiders out of the box Anne had just dumped them into.

“Interesting choice.”

“He was wearing these one of the first times Marilla was over for the day. He put his feet up on the ottoman when she went to the bathroom and when she came back she saw his feet covered in spiders and she screamed. She of course recovered quickly and felt ridiculous, but I don’t think I can remember him laughing harder than he did that day. And I’ve never heard another reaction like that from Marilla.”

“Give them to me.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me. Alright, next we have undershirts, polos, t-shirts and athletic wear.”

“He had athletic wear?” Gilbert asked and looked in the drawer. “I have no idea how old these are but I have no memory of him ever wearing them.”

They worked together to get everything out of the drawers and into boxes.

“And the dresser has been conquered. Any reason to keep any of the suits or dress shirts?” Anne asked, looking in the closet.

“No, they’re just clothes to me. They aren’t my style and I’m taller and thinner than he was, so they wouldn’t fit me even if I wanted them.”

“And we’ve come to the sweaters,” she said as she looked at some shelves in the closet.

“Yeah. Those could take some time.”

“How about we just set them aside and you can go through them at your own pace, just do a little each day?”

“Thank you for being so smart. That sounds like a much better idea than crying in front of you all day, so yeah, let’s do that.”

She gave him a side hug, then put them into a box and said, “Want me to run them up to your room?”

“Yeah. Thanks. First one on the left at the top of the stairs.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

She ran the box up to his room and put it by the foot of his bed. She tried not to be nosy, but she still allowed herself to look around for a moment. When he gave her a tour of his house earlier that summer, she had just looked in from the hallway, he didn’t actually invite her in to look around.

Everything seemed quintessentially Gilbert, from the obsessively neat stacks of books to the fact that his bed was actually made and she immediately felt at home in the space. The walls were fairly bare, but she could see signs that there were probably posters up in the past that he had since grown out of and removed. There was a framed picture of his parents, and one of him and his dad at high school graduation and then she saw one that really caught her eye sitting on his desk. She excitedly picked it up and smiled.

“Are you legitimately snooping in my room right now?” she heard him say from the door.

She turned around quickly and held the picture out to him.

“Yes I am,” she admitted proudly. “It’s you and Diana that year you were an apple tree! I’ve been wanting to see this for years!”

“Then why didn’t you just ask to see it?”

“Because I would always think about it at weird times.”

“So then ask me at weird times, I don’t care. Didn’t I say that if you want something from me, just tell me?”

“Did you?”

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion, not really able to remember. “I think so? I feel like I did. Did I not?”

“I have no idea. It sounds familiar, but I don’t remember. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen though. We talk a lot and I can’t remember everything. And this was worth the wait. This is adorable,” she said and she put it back on his desk. She turned around, was startled by the portrait of herself and yelled, “Son of a bitch, why?!”

He laughed at her reaction and asked, “What?”

“Why do you have that poster of me?”

“Why do I have a print of a painting by one of my best friends of my best friend?”

“Yeah,” she said, realizing she was probably over-reacting. She laughed and said, “I mean, seriously. What the fuck? I didn’t even know he made prints of this.”

“As far as I know he just made this one.”

“And gave it to you?”

“Yeah,” Gilbert said as he remained leaning against the door frame. “Anne, do you really not know why I have it? No idea at all?”

“I really don’t. Should I?”

“No,” he said, and sighed. “There’s no reason you would. Never mind.”

It was no use, she wasn’t going to figure it out on her own, though it would be so much easier for him if she did. Not that he wanted to do that today on top of the emotional turmoil he was already dealing with, but it’d be nice to have it over with.

“Come on,” he said, “Let’s finish up before I lose my motivation.”

They returned to John’s room and Gilbert took all the hats down from the top of the closet.

“Any attachment to the hats? Holy hell check out this one,” she said holding up an ancient bowler hat.

“Yeah, that was his grandpa’s. Or his grandpa’s grandpa’s. I don’t really know, but it’s really old so I should probably keep that one. And I have memories of it with my dad too.”

Anne put the hat on Gilbert’s head and without thinking said, “Oh my goodness, you are **so** cute.”

He looked cynically at her and said, “Now, part of me is excited that you might actually be complimenting the way I look for the first time ever, but somehow I just feel like a puppy with three legs.”

“Shut up, you’re not a puppy,” she said as she pulled him in front of the mirror. “Look at that and tell me you don’t see perfection.”

He stood there and saw Anne looking up and smiling at him and said, “You’re right, as always. Perfection.”

He took the hat off and handed it to her to place aside.

“Alright that’s it for clothes. What about all the furniture?”

“I’ll ask Bash if he wants it, if not we’ll figure out what to do with it then. For sure the bedding can get washed and donated or if it's crappy we can just throw them. If Bash gets a new mattress we’ll just have them haul this one away.”

“Shoes?”

“Pretty sure those will all be trash. He wore his shoes until they were dead. I’m sure they’re not good enough to donate.”

“Alright. Now the hard stuff,” she said tentatively.

“Hard stuff?”

“Um, yeah, like this,” she said, reaching to the back of the closet and pulling out a clear garment bag.

Gilbert grimaced and said, “I’m sorry to admit, but I have no attachment to that at all.”

“But it’s her wedding gown Gilbert!”

“It is. But you need to remember that I didn’t know her. It’s not like I’ve heard stories about how much she loved it or anything. I didn’t even know he had it. And I’m sorry, but that dress is not great.”

Anne let herself laugh and said, “Yeah, the early nineties were rough on wedding gowns. But you can’t just get rid of it.”

“Can’t I? I’m just supposed to keep a thirty-year-old wedding dress in the back of my closet in case it comes in handy sometime? What?”

“I don’t know!” she said, laughing. “I don’t know what people do with these things. He obviously kept it for some reason. Is it considered an heirloom? Is it like the hat?”

“I don’t know,” he said, also laughing.

“You probably should have asked for help from someone who isn’t an orphan with absolutely nothing of her parents.”

“I’d want to do this with you regardless, but your objectivity here is incredibly valuable. You’re helping me actually think through things and process. Without you, even if I could get it done, I don’t think I’d do it ‘right,’ you know? So… the hat is important to me, it carries stories with it, and memories, but as far as I know, the dress is just a dress. I think he just kept it because it reminded him of her. I like the idea of keeping something of hers, but I don’t feel her when I look at it. Not that I ever really feel her, if that makes sense. But I have pictures of them together, and I think that’s enough. I mean, the dress isn’t the worst I guess. The lace isn’t too bad. Maybe if I were a girl I’d keep it around to use somehow, but as it is, it just doesn’t seem worth keeping. Dad said she was always really practical, so I’ll go with that and donate it.”

“Alright. Sound argument. Donation it is. Sit down.”

“Why?”

“Because I have a box here marked _For Gilbert_. Did you know about this?”

“No.”

“So sit down.”

He sat down on his father’s bed again and Anne sat down next to him and asked, “Do you want to do this alone? It doesn’t say for Gilbert and my ex-girlfriend’s adopted daughter slash Gilbert’s friend. I’m not exactly part of this.”

“If it involves me, you are a part it. And I need your help. Please don’t make me do this alone.”

She opened it up and said, “Alright, relax, there really isn’t much in here. Quantity-wise anyway. We have your parent’s wedding announcement, your mother’s obituary, a letter from your mother to you-”

“I was wondering where that got to.”

“And there’s a letter to you from your father.”

“That’s new.”

“Obviously. Do you want to read this now or later?”

“Later.”

“His watch. Holy crap you actually have to wind this thing. This is stunning.”

“Excellent,” Gilbert said taking the watch from her, “I was so worried this got lost at the hospital or something. I love this thing.”

He put it on and asked, “What do you think?”

“I think it suits you much better than that GPS running watch you usually wear. Goes with all your fancy manners.”

“They’re not fancy. But you are not wrong. Anything else?”

“Just an envelope with,” she looked inside and said, “Rings. I assume their wedding rings.”

She handed him the envelope and he poured the contents into his hand. He slipped his father’s ring on his finger without a second thought. _Too big,_ he thought, then slipped it off.

“It can be resized, you know. Or wear it on another finger just as a keepsake. That is actually a fairly common practice; to wear a deceased loved one’s wedding band on your right hand.”

“I don’t think I’m a ring wearing type of guy. If I’m going to wear a ring, it’ll be because I’m married. When that happens, likely years down the road, I’ll decide then. Regardless of if I ever use it, I’m obviously not getting rid of it.”

He held up his mother’s ring in front of him and looked at it and said, “This is **much** better than the dress.”

“How so?”

“Because I can use this,” he said quietly and then quickly continued, “Um, I actually know the story with this. So it has more meaning. My parents took a trip down to Newfoundland and went on one of those panning for gold excursions and they actually got enough to make this ring. It was kind of a big deal; they were in the newspaper and everything. The diamond came from her grandmother’s ring, I know it’s not huge, but-”

“Who the fuck cares, Gilbert, it has a story. A really good one. You’re lucky to have such a keepsake. Between the rings and the watch, you can carry so much of them with you.”

He put his mother’s ring halfway on his pinky finger and jokingly said, “I don’t really think this works on me. What do you think?”

“You know what I mean, Gil. I would kill for an heirloom; I can’t even imagine having a tangible thing that means as much to me as that must to you.”

“You can’t imagine? That’s disappointing. I thought your imagination was capable of anything. Maybe you just need some help. Since we’re done with the hardest stuff I think I’m going to go take a break and make some more coffee if you don’t mind,” he said and he placed the ring in her hand. “Here, imagine all you want.”

Anne gasped at the weight of the ring in her hand and said, “No, no, no I can’t imagine with this ring.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is precious!”

“So are you. What’s going to happen to it? You’re sitting on a bed in my house. Not going on a hike or swimming in the ocean. Did you want some coffee? I still have the things needed to make it drinkable for you.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” she said softly as he left the room.

Anne sat there looking at the ring. To be honest, it wasn’t her taste. But the story behind it melted her heart. And seeing Gilbert’s relief over having found the ring was touching. She slid it onto her ring finger and held her hand out to look at it. _Strange,_ she thought. She didn’t usually wear rings, so just seeing the band on her finger was weird enough. But it also made her feel like a liar. She had no right to such a history. She didn’t even have a history of her own and now it felt like she was trying to steal his, just as it had been recovered.

She stared at it for a couple minutes then forced herself to stop dreaming about Gilbert someday actually giving her a ring. She went to remove it and was not at all surprised when she couldn’t get it off of her finger. It was completely stuck.

“For fuck’s sake,” she said aloud to herself _._

She walked quickly out of the room and said, “What’s going to happen? Gilbert Blythe I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. Your disaster of a friend got your mother’s ring stuck on her fucking finger! What the fuck do you have to say for yourself now?”

He looked at her, laughed and said, “Nothing much, I guess.”

“Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“What do I have to freak out about? It’s not like you lost it. I know exactly where it is. Actually, it’s probably safer now than it was before.”

“So it doesn’t bother you at all that all that remains of your parents relationship is stuck on my finger.”

“First of all, pretty sure I’m the most prevalent remnant of my parent’s relationship and second, no, it doesn’t bother me. At all. It’s you. And apparently we’re already married and you’re carrying my child, so shouldn’t you be wearing a wedding ring?”

“Actually,” she began, easily distracted by the tangent, “It’s interesting that you mention that. Lots of women have to remove their rings during pregnancy because of swelling. I was just talking to someone who is pregnant and she was saying that she swells so much as the day goes on that if she puts her ring on in the morning she has to have it off by noon or it won’t come off until the next day. She knows she should probably just leave it off, but she is so freaking in love and they’re recently married and she just can’t get enough of her ring and oh my gosh I cannot believe this is what we are talking about. What am I supposed to do about this?”

“Should we try to get it off?” he asked, laughing.

“Yes!”

“Okay. Let’s see what the internet has to say,” he said getting out his phone. “Put your hand above your head for a bit. I’ll be right back.”

He returned a couple minutes later with some floss and lotion.

“Alright. Sit down.”

He sat down on the stool next to her and turned her to face him so her legs were between his. He took her hand and looked at the ring on her finger.

“Sorry,” she said apologetically.

“Why? We’ll get it off, I’m just surprised.”

“About what?”

“Well, the ring has a great story, like you said, and you appreciate the story so much, somehow I thought it would suit you, if that makes sense. But it doesn’t fit.”

“Clearly.”

“I mean, like, style wise. Look. I know nothing about jewelry, okay? But I figured you take a piece of pretty jewelry and put it on a pretty girl and it works, you know? Like they enhance each other. But this does not work.”

“What a weird way to reinforce the fact that I’m not good enough for you.”

He laughed and said, “No! That’s not what I meant at all. How could you even think that? If anyone isn’t good enough for someone here it is definitely the other way around. I just… I think I’m learning that jewelry has personality. And this doesn’t match yours.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Anne asked honestly.

“No,” Gilbert responded, and Anne could tell he was genuinely confused. “Did I say something funny?”

“Yeah. You implied that you weren’t good enough for me?”

“Definitely not a joke.”

“Are you insane?”

“No?”

“You must be.”

“I promise, I’m not,” he said quietly as he covered her finger in an excess of lotion, then threaded the floss under the ring and wrapped it around her finger like he saw in the video while Anne stared at him in disbelief.

As he unwound the floss and the ring slowly left her finger he asked, “So what kind of guy did your imagination come up with?”

“Oh you know, Mr. Darcy. But with the sarcasm and intuition of Henry Tilney and brilliance and humor of Mr. Rochester.”

“Your standards seem very high. And they should be, but don’t you think you’re asking a lot of from the male population?”

“Do you think so little of the male population?”

“I’m just saying that I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as spectacular as you describe.”

“Really…” she said, stunned by his blindness.

“Yeah. Really.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she said flatly, staring at him as he looked down at her hand. “It appears that I’m expecting too much intelligence.”

“You need to explain to me your obsession with Mr. Darcy someday. Because I’ve seen the movie and I just don’t get it.”

“Then read the book and you’ll surely figure it out. Mostly it comes down to the fact that he can have anyone yet chooses an independent woman who can stimulate his mind instead of doing what is expected of him and marrying the most attractive woman from the best family.”

“Times have changed, Anne, most guys I know don’t just want something pretty to look at; they want an engaging partner. And do you want to know what is spectacular about the modern era?”

“What’s that?”

“The simple understanding that being smart and being pretty aren’t mutually exclusive. Moody and I were just talking about how lucky we are to be surrounded by so many strong women who are intelligent, funny and beautiful. And here’s something for you, if a guy is at all a decent human being, he will think that being intelligent makes you even more attractive.”

“Then my grades indicate that I am the fairest one of them all,” Anne said sarcastically.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah what?”

“Yeah, you are. There,” he said, finally removing the ring from her finger. “Was that really so bad?”

Stunned by his words, she simply answered, “Yes.”

“Shut up. You’ll live. What do you want to do for lunch?” he asked like nothing had happened.

“Can we just eat here?”

“Sandwiches? Then we can finish up, maybe take a walk and have dinner before you head back tonight?”

“Perfect.”

Their lunch was quieter than usual; not necessarily uncomfortable, but just different. Anne was haunted by Gilbert’s claim that she was too good for him and that he again so casually complemented her beauty and intelligence. She couldn’t make sense of it and was caught between wondering if he was losing his mind or if he had possibly considered them as a couple and concluded, illogically, that she was somehow too good for him. She could tell he hadn’t been making a joke, but with how nonchalantly he had mentioned it all, she figured that once again the kindness of Gilbert Blythe knew no bounds.

***

**Diana – Mobile**

_I have something really weird to ask you and  
I’m super embarrassed about it but I don’t  
know what to do. I think I’m really messed up  
and I am freaking the fuck out._

_What’s wrong? Are you okay?_

_I really don’t know.  
Please don’t judge me._

_Anne, never. What’s going on?_

_So, I’m at Gilbert’s._

_Excellent. Get off your phone and tell him  
you love him._

_Um, no.  
He’s doing the dishes, so I have bit.  
And now isn’t a good time. And not only  
because I got HIS MOTHER’S FREAKING  
WEDDING RING STUCK ON MY FINGER  
TODAY._

_OMG Anne, these things only happen to you  
two, you know this, right?_

_Yeah. I’m a disaster. I got it.  
Anyways, we were cooking dinner together  
tonight. We found this recipe for Fiesta Lime  
Chicken and we thought it sounded really  
good, so we decided to make it._

_Sounds great._

_OMG this is so awkward to even think,  
much less type.  
So… I was watching him cut the lime,  
because that’s what I do when he isn’t  
looking. I watch him._

_Of course._

_Yeah. So he was cutting the lime and I  
got feelings._

_How do you mean?_

_Like supercharged sexual feelings, Di._

_Oh. Okay?_

_Yeah. So I’m like, fine. It’s Gilbert and this  
has happened before. NBD. Right?  
He’s hot and I’m in love with him and I could  
see the muscles working in his forearms and  
holy hell he just looked so good.  
What is it about his arms? How are arms hot?  
Anyway, I told myself okay, it’s just him.  
Nothing weird here, he’s super hot and he  
just happens to be cutting a lime._

_That makes sense._

_Yeah. I know. So this happened when we were  
like mid-conversation and then he saw that I  
was off and for the life of me I could not  
remember what we were talking about.  
All I could think about was the lime.  
It was entirely consuming my mind._

_That’s strange._

_I know! But I pushed past it and the lime  
was set aside for later._

_Okay. Moment passed._

_I wish._

_What happened?_

_Well, when the rest of the meal was prepared,  
we each took a wedge of lime and squirted it  
on our chicken. It was the final step in the  
recipe and the smell was overwhelming.  
The lime, his cologne, and him looking at me  
and smiling. It was way too much to handle.  
I had to leave. OMG Diana it was so much.  
So I made an excuse and went to the  
bathroom._

_And what did you do in the bathroom? LOL._

_NOT what needed to be done._

_Ha!_

_I splashed cold water on my face and took  
like a million deep breaths.  
It didn’t really help._

_And then?_

_Endured the most uncomfortable dinner  
of my life._

_Was it awkward?_

_No. Just me. He was great. Everything was  
great. It always is with him.  
Except my situation.  
Am I broken? Are limes sexy?  
Do I have some fort of citrus fetish?  
I mean, there are weirder fetishes to have  
I guess.  
But I just didn’t see this coming and I’m  
really confused._

_I have an idea, just let me check with Cole on  
something._

_Cole? Why Cole?_

_Um okay, so I can’t get into details here, but  
you don’t have a citrus fetish. Something  
happened at the wedding (don’t ask me, he  
didn’t tell me) with a lime and Cole has no  
problem believing the smell now could possibly  
set off some feelings._

_Mother fucking son of a bitch.  
And I don’t suppose he is going to tell me._

_He said you would be really pissed to have not  
remembered it and he doesn’t want to screw  
up your relationships._

_You are never getting married again, do you  
hear me?_

_Don’t worry, that’s not a concern._

***

“Anne, I just finished up in the kitchen, are you feeling any better?” Gilbert asked her.

“Not really, no. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for not feeling well. Is there anything I can do? Do you think it was something you ate?”

“No. I think I just didn’t get enough sleep last night and I think it is catching up with me,” she lied.

“Is it your stomach? Head?”

“It’s really like, a whole-body thing…”

“Like the flu?”

“Gilbert. Stop. Please don’t worry about it. I promise I will be fine.”

“Did you want to go on a walk? Maybe some fresh air would help and I have something that I’d like to talk to you about.”

“I’d love to, really, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t get me wrong, a walk sounds great and I want to hear what you have to say, but I just, I need to go home and shower and get into bed. And I want to drop off the stuff before the store closes.”

“Good point,” he said sadly. “I guess I’ll see you at school then?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me walk you to your car.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“But you know I’m going to do it anyway.”

“I do. And I don’t mind.”

They hugged good-bye and Anne headed back home. She stopped and dropped off John’s things where they accept donations in New London since she didn’t know where they would take them in Avonlea. She hauled box after box out of the truck and finally came to his mother’s wedding gown. He was right, it wasn’t a great dress, but like he said, the lace was kind of cool. And she had never seen so much satin in her entire life. She picked it up and made a final trip into the building. She got to the door and stopped in her tracks.

She tried to keep moving forward, but something was stopping her.

 _Just put the fucking dress in the fucking donation pile, Anne,_ she told herself. _He doesn’t care about it. And you don’t care about it. You couldn’t possibly._

She kept trying to make herself put it down, but she couldn’t.

 _Damn it. This is, by far, one of the stupidest things you have ever done in your life and if anyone hears of this you will die of embarrassment,_ she chastised herself as she angrily walked back to the truck, threw in the dress, climbed in and slammed the door shut.

********Back to the Bonfire********

“You kept her dress?” Gilbert asked.

“Yes I did. Are you mad?”

Gilbert laughed and said, “How could I be mad when I didn’t care about it. Why did you keep it though?”

“I don't know! I know you said it didn’t matter to you, but there was something telling me not to get rid of it. So I brought it home, snuck it into the house, which was not easy I’ll have you know, that thing was a circus tent, and then I shoved it in the back of my closet.”

“To what end?” Diana asked.

“I had absolutely no idea. I told you, it was just a feeling I had.”

“Do you still have it?” asked Ruby.

“I do. You must be next, right Rubes?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m last. You’re not getting out of this that easy though. I want to see that dress someday, Anne.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”


	17. The Tits and Tats of Mermaids and Linguists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang dresses up and goes out for drinks before finals week, Anne gets asked out on a date (not by Gilbert) and Anne walks in on Gilbert and enjoys the view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 week ago: This is going to be a really short chapter! I’m almost done!  
> Today: I’m sorry I’m such a giant liar; here are 17,811 words of fluff. I have no self control and I'm embarrassed.
> 
> I've recently been made aware that a lot of writers have beta readers. I do not, so I apologize again for any mistakes that you come across. I do edit my work, but it all just runs together after a while. Luckily I have Jane_E and dianawithaj who read the story so quickly and help me out after the fact :).
> 
> This is Anne's dress, in the Blush color:  
> https://www.jjshouse.com/A-Line-Square-Neckline-Asymmetrical-Satin-Prom-Dresses-018224396-g224396?filterColor=blush

“Ruby? I thought you’d be way earlier in the night,” said Diana. “You’ve watched this all play out since the beginning.”

“I know, but I really wanted to tell the story about that night we all went out before last Christmas, and also her ‘date,’ and I figured between all of us we’d hit everything else along the way.”

“Attempted date,” Anne clarified.

“With Jeff?” Moody asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, I actually have something to add to this story.”

“Like what?” Ruby asked.

“Like I know why he didn’t show up,” Moody said.

“How would you know that?” Anne asked doubtfully.

“I overheard an interaction at the bar.”

“You overheard an interaction…” Ruby said doubtfully. “And you’ve never said anything…”

“Pretty much,” Moody said and then took a drink.

“Why didn’t you?” Anne asked.

“Because it wasn’t my business. And it didn’t really matter why the date didn’t work out; you shouldn’t’ve been there to begin with because you were in love with Gilbert.”

“Well, that’s kind of true,” Anne admitted. “I’m still curious to know why he didn’t show though.”

“And I’ll tell you. But why did **you** go? It wasn’t fair to Jeff and I don’t see what you were looking to get out of it. Not to mention Gilbert was jealous as hell and I got the privilege of dealing with that mess, so thanks for that. I’m so glad that you showed up when you did because he was driving me nuts. Has anyone else dealt with jealous Gilbert before? Because he’s a neurotic ass.”

“Hey! That’s uncalled for,” said Gilbert. “So I was a bit jealous. Give me a break; at least I knew I had no one to blame but myself.”

“I’m sorry, but no, you get no breaks here,” interrupted Diana. “And isn’t he always a neurotic ass?”

“Brutal, you guys, just brutal,” Gilbert said as he shook his head, laughing.

“And Gil, you only having yourself to blame just made it worse,” Moody added.

“I’ll grant that it wasn’t super fair to Jeff,” Anne conceded. “But honestly I didn’t see the harm in it. He’s the one who said it was just a friend thing; that was made abundantly clear from the beginning. And if Gilbert had ever said anything about being interested in me, I obviously wouldn’t have gone. As it was, he hadn’t said anything and most of you were going to be out of town by then, and Jeff is a nice guy, so I agreed.”

“He may not have said anything, but you should have been able to see it, especially by then,” Ruby said. “There isn’t a person who was sitting at that table that night who didn’t think you’d make it home with your clothes on.”

“Okay, besides that being a little ridiculous, can I point out that it was December? That would have been really, really cold.”

“Pretty sure you would have found a way to heat up,” Jane said, rolling her eyes.

“And Anne, stop lying,” Diana said. “I’ll give you one more chance: Why did you go out with Jeff when you knew you were in love with Gilbert?”

“Ugh! Fine. I was hoping to make Gilbert jealous, okay? I knew it was a long shot, and it was a stupid, childish act of desperation, but I thought just maybe if Gilbert saw me go on a date, he could start to picture me as a girlfriend instead of just a friend. And yeah, it was terrible to bring someone else into it, but again, he agreed it was a friend thing, so it was fine.”

“Well, it worked extremely well,” Moody said. “I have never seen him drink that much that quickly. He got home from his last final at four and was drunk a half hour later.”

“Should I be concerned that a lot of these stories involve you drinking excessively?” asked Sebastian.

“Probably not. I really don’t drink that much; we just seem to be hitting everything here. And apparently when I do drink, I really make it count.”

“Hold on,” said Josie. “Are we just skipping over Halloween then?”

“You guys know what happened,” Gilbert said. “What else is there to tell?”

“I thought he looked hotter than ever, was stunned into a stupor, unable to even talk to him, got super drunk so I wouldn’t just stare at him all night, passed out on his couch-”

“Then I carried her upstairs, put her in my bed and when I got up there a couple hours later I put a blanket between us so I wouldn’t grope her in my sleep, like I did at Diana and Jerry’s wedding. Out. Of. Respect,” he finished, glaring at Anne.

“Then I woke up, saw the barrier and puked at his blatant disgust with having to share a bed with me and took that fucking blanket as the final nail in my coffin of hope. For a while at least.”

“I put you in my bed! Why would I put a woman who disgusts me in my bed?!”

“You weren’t high and you said you only had a couple drinks! Why the fuck wouldn’t you trust yourself to sleep next to me when you had countless times before without incident?!”

“Because I wanted there to be an incident!” he yelled back at her and their friends laughed.

“So,” he continued, calmly addressing the group, “As you can see, we still have some disagreements regarding last Halloween. But anyways, when I woke up, she was gone.”

“Did you guys talk about it afterward?” Jane asked.

“No, we did not. I was in full denial that it even happened,” said Anne. “I was so embarrassed.”

“And I had no idea what happened and didn’t really want to bring it up. And it’s not like she owed me an explanation for leaving without saying anything. I assumed she was either uncomfortable sleeping in her costume or just didn’t want to be there and if it was the latter, I really wasn’t interested in hearing it. And I know the blanket was stupid after all we had been through, but I could **not** accidentally grope her in my sleep again. The fear of that took precedence over my longing to wrap my arms around her and fall asleep. Generally, I came up with every excuse I could to touch her, but it wasn’t like it had been because I couldn’t, like, let my guard down and relax around her as much anymore out of fear of what I would do. But Ruby is right, that dinner was… different,” he said, laughing at the memory. “That was such a fun night.”

“You think it’s fun to flirt non-stop in front of all your friends, making them all extremely uncomfortable?” Jane asked.

“You know, it’s funny you should say that because like, 90% of that night I was completely unaware the rest of you even existed,” admitted Gilbert.

“Clearly,” Charlie said dryly. “And you weren’t uncomfortable, Jane. You said it was hot.”

“I know, but I felt bad about it. No one should get that turned on watching their friends flirt.”

“We weren’t flirting,” Anne and Gilbert said together.

“I don’t care what you call it,” Tillie said. “I loved it. Watching you that night was so much fun. And I couldn’t even hear what you were talking about half the time.”

“You didn’t need to hear them,” Charlie explained. “The lust was just radiating off of them.”

“I’m with Tillie here; watching you too was **very** satisfying. That was a great night,” Diana said, winking at Jerry, who laughed loudly in response.

“Regardless of your opinion regarding the torture and/or pleasure we gave to you that night, I think Ruby is picking it up at a good spot,” Anne said. “From my perspective, things definitely started progressing again at the bar that night.”

“They started progressing when I picked you up. As soon as you opened your bedroom door, I was ruined. Whatever skill I had in restraining myself around you up to then was gone as soon as you asked me to tie that dress.”

“You two were so adorable that night,” Ruby said. “I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

“No one could,” Moody admitted. “It was addicting. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t.”

“So, if you all remember, someone, Jane and Tillie,” she said, glaring at the two girls, “Thought it was a good idea to go to the fancy bar downtown that Friday before finals week and dress up and buy ridiculously overpriced drinks and pretend we were, like, real adults.”

“And it turned out to be a really good idea,” Josie said. “Because of all the flirting, of course.”

“We weren’t flirting!” they reiterated.

“Fighting because we didn’t have a physical relationship is not flirting,” Gilbert said. “It’s fucked up, but it isn’t flirting.”

“You know what? Thinking about it now, there **may** have been a little flirting, Gil. I still get chills when I remember how you touched me that night,” Anne said and Gilbert looked at her with his eyebrows raised.

“My back!” she added quickly. “When I remember how you touched my back. I think I need another drink.”

“You sure?” Gilbert asked quietly.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’m nowhere close to drunk. Reliving a play by play of our entire relationship is rather sobering.”

“Why does it matter if she’s drunk?” Jane asked.

“It doesn’t,” Gilbert said. “She just said she didn’t want to drink too much tonight, so I’m trying to hold her to that.”

“Shall we begin then?” Ruby asked.

“Yeah, but let’s start with when I went over to get Anne that night,” Gilbert suggested.

********December 2019********

“Anne?” Gilbert called, knocking on her bedroom door. “Are you ready? If we aren’t there by eight Ruby is going to be pissed.”

“Are you afraid of sweet little Ruby?” Anne called out, teasing him from the other side of her bedroom door as she finished dressing.

“Yes, I am. It’s the sweet ones who are the most frightening when mad. Hurry up.”

“So does that mean you’re not afraid of me?”

“You’re not sweet, Anne, sorry. You’re spicy. And no, I’m not afraid of you. I actually delight in provoking your rage, you should know that by now. Hurry up.”

“I could be sweet.”

“As part of a ploy to get something from someone, sure.”

“Anne Shirley Cuthbert, Master Manipulator!”

“Exactly.”

“Hey Gil? Quick question: Why do you keep telling people that I’m single?”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“No.”

“That’s why I tell them you are single. It’s not like I advertise it. Guys just ask me. Hurry. Up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, all the time. Still. It’s been three years of this shit, Anne.”

“Why is it shit?”

Gilbert hesitated, not really wanting to say it was shit because it tortured him.

“Um, because it makes me feel like some weird gatekeeper. Like people check-in with me before going after you.”

“Why don’t they just ask me directly?”

“Because it is terrifying to approach a woman and tell her that you are interested in her. Would you rather I tell them you’re unavailable? Because I will. Also, in case you missed it the first three times: **Hurry up**.”

“Shut up. And no. I don’t want you to have to lie for me. I’ll just take care of it. I need your help,” she said as she finally opened the door with her hands holding up the front of her dress. She turned around and faced away from him, revealing her nearly bare back loosely crossed three times by satin straps that hung untied at the bottom. “I need you to tie this as tight as you can.”

She received no immediate response as Gilbert stood there unmoving.

“Gilbert?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Can you help me please?”

Gilbert took a deep breath and asked, “How am I supposed to deal with this exactly?” _Because I can’t even think right now._

“I’m pretty sure you can figure it out, doctor. Start at the top and tighten it as you work your way down. Then just pull the strings tight at the bottom to finish it off and it’ll be fine. Tie it in a cute little bow, with a double knot. Do not forget the double not. I don’t really feel like flashing all my friends tonight.”

“Is there a night you **would** feel like flashing all your friends?”

“Shut up. No. Get to work.”

Gilbert followed her instruction, starting by reaching over her shoulders and pulling the front of her dress tighter by lifting the straps up and then pulling them back and slowly making his way down, tightening each crossing in turn, putting everything he had into concentrating on the task and not on the fact that her skin was so soft that all he wanted to do was kiss it, or the fact that her hair was down and curled in a way that was just begging him to play with it.

He could feel that Anne had stiffened at his touch. He couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, so he tried to continue their conversation by asking, “So… um… where did you get the dress from?”

“Ruby,” she said quickly. She could tell that he was nearly done tying the dress and couldn’t decide if she actually wanted it tighter or if she just didn’t want him to stop touching her. Regardless of the reason, she said, “Start over, Gil. I need you to try again and pull the strings tighter, please. I know for a fact that you’re stronger than that. You won’t hurt me and you won’t hurt the dress. Don’t be afraid to put some oomph into it.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as he began again at the top. For just a moment, she allowed herself to dream about what else his hands were capable of, but then snapped back to reality at the sharp tug of her dress. _Wow, I really have no shame,_ she thought to herself. _It isn’t enough that I fantasize about him when he’s not around? Now I fantasize about him touching me **while** he is touching me? _

“This really seems like a job for Diana,” he said quietly, interrupting her internal dialog. For a moment, Gilbert was unsure if he was thankful to be able to keep touching her or if he was being tortured by having to do it again. He quickly concluded it was definitely both of those things.

Anne tried to push the thoughts out of her mind and asked, “Why? Because you picked out that corset for her and now you know she knows all about lacing?”

“Dammit, Anne. Why bring that up now?” he said with a frustrated laugh.

“Because it is so easy to push your buttons, Gil,” Anne laughed and realized Gilbert still really wasn’t pulling the straps tight enough. “And Diana isn’t here. Please, Gil, harder. How are you not qualified to do this?”

_Lack of motivation. No part of me wants you to be contained within this dress. I want it to be in a puddle at your feet._

“I just expect she has more experience with dresses is all,” he said as evenly as he could as he pulled the straps tighter.

“That might be true, but you’ve tied a shoe before right?”

“Once or twice,” he said. “But this is not a shoe. At all. And I honestly don’t know what qualifies as a ‘cute’ bow.”

“Just make sure the loops aren’t big.”

The bow was at the small of her back, and it took every ounce of restraint he had not to place his hands on her hips when he finally finished the task. Anne had twisted her hair together and brought it forward it to keep it out of the way. He put his hand on her arm that was holding her hair, guided it down to her side and then pulled her hair to her back, where it unraveled and covered her shoulders in large, soft curls.

“Alright,” he said lowly, taking the sight in. “Does that work for you?”

Anne simply nodded, unable to speak. She tried to ignore the goosebumps she got from him touching her hair and to distract herself she turned around and asked him, “How do I look?”

He looked at her and couldn’t prevent a smug smile from appearing on his face.

“What the fuck is that face for? Do I look that terrible?”

“Not even close.”

“Then what the hell?”

“You’re a redhead, wearing a pink dress.”

“Yeah. I know,” she said rolling her eyes. “It’s not at all ideal. I wouldn’t normally wear pink, but my choices were limited. I only have one formal dress, the one from the wedding, and it’s at home. And I didn’t really want to buy a dress just to go out for drinks. Diana’s dresses are too short, Josie’s are too long, Tillie’s are too big and Jane has massive boobs. So I was left with Ruby’s and Ruby loves a pink dress. Exclusively, apparently. Seriously, do I look okay?”

“Anne,” he said, “You look amazing.”

“Really?” she asked hopefully. She loved when he complimented her because she could hear the sincerity in his voice. She was pretty sure he would ruin it soon with some smart-ass comment, but she tried to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

“Yes. You look absolutely perfect,” he managed to say before he started giggling.

“Thank you. But why are you… that’s not even laughing! You’re giggling! Gilbert Blythe! Why the fuck are you giggling?”

“It’s not bad! I promise!” he said, unable to contain himself and flinching as she swatted his arm. “I’m so sorry about this ridiculous reaction, but ten-year-old me is going insane right now. You are absolutely and completely his dream girl brought to life.”

 _But apparently not yours._ Anne rolled her eyes again and asked, “Care to elaborate or should I just keep hitting you?”

“You look like Ariel, from _The Little Mermaid_ ,” he said quickly as he got out his phone and did a quick search of Ariel in her pink gown. “See? Your dress even goes up in the front like hers does. Though you don’t have that white bit underneath.”

“They aren’t dissimilar, I’ll give you that,” she conceded.

“Only yours is so much better because there is **so** much less to the dress,” he said as he looked at her.

She eyed him skeptically and asked, “Okay, so this is one of those times where it doesn’t matter who it is? As long as it’s a scantily dressed woman, you’re interested, yeah? Just one of those guy things?”

“No. It absolutely matters who it is. It always does. This **is** one of those times when I listen to you and speak my mind though and I gotta say, that with that much leg showing, along with the fact that only about,” he circled her, checking her out, “Umm… a third of your torso is covered, the only phrase that comes to mind is ‘Sexy Ariel.’ So yeah, you look absolutely perfect.”

Anne blushed and said, “Tell me ten-year-old you didn’t imagine sexy ariel.”

“No, he didn’t have to. Ariel in the movie was plenty for him. Current me is freaking pumped though.”

“Gilbert? You have issues.”

“I do, but not because of this. I am simply a man with eyes, or did you forget that I’m a guy again?”

“I can’t believe the first time I get called sexy is by you referring to me as a cartoon character!” she said as she turned and walked away from him.

“Well then it’s your lucky day because that is definitely not the first time you’ve been called sexy,” he said as he followed her.

“I think I would know, Gilbert!”

“You don’t know everything, Anne!” he said, mimicking her tone. “That’s just apparently the first time you’ve **heard** yourself referred to as sexy, but I promise it has happened before.”

“How the fuck would you know that?”

“Because I’m the fucker who is usually saying it!”

“You are such a fucking smart-ass,” she said in a frustrated tone that she hoped hid the fact that she was smiling as she spoke. “As always you remain the most infuriating person I know.”

“And it remains an absolute honor,” he said with a big smile.

“Ah shit, I forgot my key,” Anne said as she turned around abruptly and ran right into him.

“Fuck!” Gilbert yelled as his hand flew to his lip.

Anne’s hand went to put pressure on her forehead and she yelled, “Why were you so close to me?!”

“I wasn’t! You turned around and practically sprinted into me!” he said as he went to get a tissue to catch the blood.

“Son of a bitch, Gilbert, did you bite my head?” she asked as she felt along her hairline.

“No! You put your forehead in my mouth!”

“Why was your mouth open?!”

“Because you made me smile!” he yelled at her and started laughing.

“Dammit that hurt,” Anne said, starting to laugh as well. “I’m sorry, Gil. I actually will admit that this was my fault.”

“What the hell is happening?” he asked, feigning utter astonishment. “You just admitted something was your fault? Are you feeling okay?”

“Shut up! I’m feeling fine. Are you okay though? Really?”

“Yeah. My tooth just cut the inside of my lip and it’s going to take a minute for the bleeding to stop. It looks worse than it feels. I was mostly just surprised to find your head in my mouth. Are you sure I didn’t hurt you? Let me see,” he said as he stepped closer to her.

“Gil. I’m-” her breath caught as his thumb grazed her forehead and she let the smell of him overwhelm her, “Fine. I’m fine. Just… it’s fine. I promise. No blood, probably just a small bruise. Um, we can wait here for you to stop bleeding and risk Ruby’s wrath, or I can drive and we can hope it stops in the car.”

“Um… car,” Gilbert said as he stepped back from her and handed her his keys. “I already got beat up by Ariel, I hardly need Rapunzel on my ass too.”

***

They went out to the car and started on their way downtown.

“So, Ruby is Rapunzel?” Anne asked after a few minutes of slightly charged silence.

“Yeah, I think so. Beginning of the movie, innocent, naïve and packs a punch? That checks out.”

Anne thought about it a moment and then asked, “What about the other girls?”

“What about them what?”

“What Disney leading ladies would they be?”

He laughed and said, “Believe it or not, this isn’t actually what I spend my time thinking about, Anne. I mean, obviously I would think you resemble Ariel. And then Ruby was easy to figure out because you just made me watch _Tangled_ last week.”

“Gil, come on, let’s do this. It’ll be fun. And anyways, we have a bit of a drive.”

“And we usually have so much trouble finding something to talk about?”

_No, but it was awkward as hell before I said something._

“Do you have something better to discuss?” she asked.

“Yes. But I don’t really want to get into that while you’re driving, so let’s do your thing. And just to be clear, you may look like Ariel, but you do not act like her at all.”

“So who am I then?”

“Merida.”

_One of like, three princesses without a love interest. Fan-freaking-tastic._

Gilbert continued, rolling his eyes and said, “And no it’s not because you don’t have a prince. It’s because you’re independent, strong, stubborn, and brave.”

“Fine. What about Diana? Name that princess.”

“Jasmine.”

“Jasmine? Why?”

“Because of one line: _Maybe I don’t want to be a princess anymore_. Diana never did what was expected of her, even though it would have been, so, so easy. She knew she was more than who she was raised to be and did what was necessary to find herself. And then, well, you know, she met Jerry and married a commoner.”

“Totally. And that hair, I would kill for Diana’s hair.”

“Please don’t; for so many reasons. Jane is Meg, right?”

“Absolutely. Independent, quick-witted, sarcastic and jaded on love,” Anne agreed.

“Well, I’m pretty sure that Charlie is going to **finally** ask her out tonight so don’t worry too much about that last bit.”

“Yes! It’s about fricking time!” Anne yelled. “We’ve all been waiting for that since the wedding! And he’s been into her for way longer than that. I mean, how long does it take to just say something?”

If she hadn’t been driving she would have had to run out of the room to escape her own hypocrisy. As it was, she was trapped so she bit her lips together and sent out a thank you into the universe for at least providing darkness to cover her blush.

“A long time, apparently,” Gilbert said quietly as he stared out the window.

Another awkward silence settled in the air as they each reflected on their own inability to ‘just say something.’

“What about Josie?” Anne eventually asked. “I know she pretty much enters a room like Elsa walks out on that balcony, but I think we can do better than that.”

Gilbert laughed and said, “She totally does, doesn’t she? Um, how about Mulan?”

“Because she kicks ass?”

“Because she kicks ass. Oh! Or Kida!”

“From _Atlantis_! That’s a great choice! And she’s got that whole linguistic skillset as well. You are really good at this.”

“What can I say? I know my Disney ladies.”

“Maybe too well…” she teased.

“Blame Diana.”

“Oh, please! You just accused me of **making** you watch _Tangled_ , but the options you offered were that, _Beauty and the Beast_ or _The Lion King_!” Anne argued as she laughed.

“Yeah. Fine,” Gilbert conceded. “Sue me, I enjoy a happy ending.”

“Tillie,” said Anne.

“Sweet. My lip stopped bleeding,” he said as he checked out the injury in the mirror before continuing. “Tillie is tricky. And honestly, I really don’t know her that well. She is very polite, kind and seems intelligent. She isn’t necessarily outspoken, but she is very, very confident and speaks her mind around her friends.”

“That is all true, but she’s got a bit of a wild side as well,” Anne said.

“Like when drinking, or what?” he asked.

“No, she doesn’t really drink that much. She just opens up and is a bit more honest when she’s with the people she’s closest to.”

“I’d say Jane then,” Gilbert suggested.

“From _Tarzan_?”

“Yeah. Does that work?”

“That’s a fantastic choice. Totally prim and proper, smart as hell and fully waiting to run off with a hot guy and live in the jungle practically naked. That is exactly Tillie.”

“That might be more information than I needed to know,” Gilbert chuckled at the image. “I feel like I just invaded on something really private.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, she’s very confident. She’s not ashamed about what she wants or what she’s interested in, she just doesn’t advertise it.”

She parked the car and handed his keys back to him and couldn’t ignore the warmth that shot through her body as their hands met.

“Um, who is driving home tonight?” she asked him.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” he suggested, and they played a round and as usual, Anne went with paper.

“Thanks for letting me win, Gilbert,” she said as she got out of the car.

“Anytime, Anne. I just don’t get why we have to go through the formality of playing every time when you know I’ll happily drive your drunk ass home whenever you want me too.”

“I don’t know. It just makes me feel better about it for some reason.”

“You are so weird.”

“It hasn’t driven you away yet.”

“Don’t worry. It won’t.”

***

They walked into the bar, checked their coats and started making their way to the back where Jane had texted them they had a booth reserved.

“Anne?” someone said as they made their way through the crowd.

“Jeff! Hi! Gil, save me a spot, I’ll be right there.”

“Hi Jeff,” Gilbert greeted him with a smile and then walked back to his friends. Jeff had been one of the ones who had asked if Anne was dating anyone. He wondered if there were a parallel universe where he was a good liar and wouldn’t feel compelled to tell everyone the truth about Anne being single. Or even better, a universe where he didn’t chicken out or get interrupted every time he actually found the courage to say something to her.

“How are you?” Anne asked him.

“I’m well, how are you?” Jeff responded.

“I’m great.”

“You’re not dating anyone, correct?”

“No, I’m not. Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if you’d like to grab dinner with me next Friday. No pressure at all, and I know this sounds like a line, but really I would just like to get to know you better.”

“No pressure?” she asked tentatively.

“None. Just friends, hanging out and eating, except I’ll pay because it was my idea.”

She thought about it for a few seconds then said, “That sounds great, actually. Thanks.”

“Excellent. Do you want to just meet me here? At six?”

“I’ll see you then,” she said with a friendly smile and went back to meet her friends.

***

Anne went to the booth and sat down on the end next to Cole.

“No,” Josie said definitively. “No fucking way.”

“No what?” Anne asked in confusion. “Can I really not sit here?”

“You need to sit next to Gilbert.”

“I really don’t.”

“Fine. You may not **need** to but you’re sure as hell going to,” Josie commanded. “There is no way in hell I’m going to be stuck in between you two. And I really doubt Cole is up for it either.”

“She’s right,” Cole agreed then whispered to Anne, “I’d rather watch you two flirt without getting whiplash.”

“Fuck you,” she whispered to Cole and then to both of them she said, “You guys are mean. We aren’t that bad.”

They all got up and Anne slid in next to Gilbert, which was obviously where she wanted to be anyway, and they immediately got lost in their own conversation.

“So… what did Jeff want?” Gilbert asked her quietly.

“Nothing important,” she answered.

“He asked you out, didn’t he?”

“Kind of. Just a friend thing. He made it very clear,” she explained, though she wasn’t sure why she needed to give him an explanation.

They continued speaking to each other in semi-hushed tones, as their friends continued their conversations around them.

“That’s a line, Anne,” Gilbert warned.

“Yeah, he admitted that.”

Gilbert laughed and said mostly to himself, “Well done, Jeff.” 

“He’s a good guy, Gil, I’m sure he was being honest.”

“He **is** a good guy, you’re right. I’m sorry,” he sincerely apologized. He liked Jeff, and he certainly couldn’t blame him for his interest in Anne. But that didn’t mean he had to like it either.

“Thank you. You have no idea what his intentions are.”

Gilbert laughed loudly at the ridiculous accusation.

“What is so funny you twat?” she hissed at him.

Gilbert continued laughing and asked, “Twat? Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Anne, you seem to keep forgetting that I’m a guy. As such, don’t you think I have a bit of insight into what Jeff is thinking? You are brilliant and hot as hell. I know **exactly** what his intentions are.”

“So, you think I’m brilliant and hot. Say he does too. What the fuck makes what he wants from me any different than what you want from me? In case you haven’t noticed Gilbert, we have maintained a pretty fucking platonic relationship for over three years. Who’s to say that isn’t what he’s looking for?”

“I guarantee you that we are looking for the same fucking thing from you. You twat,” he said lowly.

She accidentally released a laugh at the sound of the vulgar term leaving his mouth, but quickly regained the passion she had worked up and said, “That’s exactly what I’m saying! So, what the fuck is the problem with getting a free fucking meal out of it?”

“It’s exactly what you’re saying but completely opposite in your understanding of the situation.”

“What the hell are you talking about?! And even if he were to have something more in mind, I am single, am I not?”

“You are.”

“So why shouldn’t I go out with him?” she asked as their drinks were delivered to the table.

“What the fuck is this? I didn’t order anything.”

“I got you a Mermaid Martini,” he explained, taking a drink of his Old Fashioned.

“It’s blue.”

“Yes it is, Sexy Ariel.”

She flipped him off as she took a drink.

“Tell me honestly, Anne,” he began again quietly. “Are you available?”

“We **just** agreed that I’m single.”

“That’s not what I asked,” he said as he stared at her. “You have been asked out many times, and you always say no. Something is holding you back.”

“Maybe it’s just that someone decent finally asked. Did you consider that?”

“No, that’s not what it is. They haven’t all been great, but many have been very decent. Think about it: If he wanted a relationship with you, if he asked to be your boyfriend,” he paused and tried not to cringe as he continued, “If he asks you to go home with him, are you available?”

“I don’t see why I shouldn’t be,” she said angrily.

“That’s not a ‘yes,’ Anne.”

“Your semantics are fucking annoying, Gilbert.”

“You’re dealing with people’s feelings; semantics are everything.”

“Why are you so concerned about Jeff’s feelings?”

“Honestly, I’m not. Crush every single one of his hopes and dreams for all I care. But you **do** care.”

“You are **not** going to make me feel bad about having dinner with a friend.”

“I don’t have to; I think you are perfectly capable of doing that all on your own.”

“You’re an ass sometimes, did you know that?”

“Because you feel bad for leading someone on? How does that make **me** an ass? You’re just pissed off that I put it together before you did.”

“Dammit Gilbert! Why can’t we get through a single fucking day without arguing?!”

“We’ve gotten through many days without arguing, you just seem to be needing it today,” he said calmly.

“Excuse me?” she scoffed. “I **need** to argue with you?”

“Yes, you **need** it. I know you; and you love arguing with me. It gives you some sort of morbid satisfaction. Don’t worry, I love it too. But right now, you’re the one raising your voice, Carrots, not me.”

“Don’t you Carrots me, Shaggy.”

“Shaggy?”

“Have you seen you? Your hair is out of control.”

“My hair is excellent, every woman at this table has said so except you.”

“And that pisses you off doesn’t it?”

“How you deflect my accusations by trying to criticize me when you know I’m right and don’t want to deal with your feelings? No, it doesn’t piss me off, I actually find it very funny.”

“Anne! Gilbert!” Charlie yelled across the table. “Stop whispering and join the group. You are aware that there are more people here than just you two, yeah? If you’re going to spend the whole night flirting, get your own damn table.”

“Hell no!” Tillie said as she arrived with Jane. “I want to watch them flirt!”

“We’re not flirting!” they both answered angrily and then each took a drink.

“Flirting, fighting,” Charlie said with a shrug, “Who can tell the difference anymore? It’s all the same with you two and if you can’t see that there is truly no helping you.”

Jane and Tillie’s arrival forced the group to squish together in the corner booth. Jane waited next to Charlie for him, Ruby and Diana to move over to make room for her. Tillie sat down on the end next to Cole, pushing him, Josie, Anne and Gilbert further in toward Jerry at the back. Gilbert found that there wasn’t enough room for his shoulders between Anne and Jerry so without thinking, he put his arm on the back of the booth behind Anne. He felt her tense briefly before she relaxed into him. Anne took out her phone and turned off all her notifications, knowing what would eventually be coming in from all the girls at the table.

“We’re still missing Moody, is he not here yet?” Anne asked trying to change the subject.

“He’s been here the whole time, sitting between Diana and Ruby, but he went to get another drink as soon he saw you two start arguing,” Jerry said. “How does it feel? Your behavior is driving us all to drink more. Moody has the patience of a saint and he just threw back his whiskey after watching you for five minutes.”

“Maybe he should switch to beer,” Anne mumbled as her head dropped down to her arms on the table. She felt Gilbert laugh as he gently rubbed her back. She took a couple deep breaths as she sat there wishing two things: 1. That he would stop touching her so no one would say anything and 2. That he would never stop touching her.

***

“Jeff,” Roy said as he approached him at the bar.

“Roy,” he responded curtly.

“I heard you ask Anne out.”

“I didn’t ask her out. We’re simply having dinner so I can get to know her better. I was very clear that I have no expectations.”

“Good. Because you see her back there with Blythe, right?”

They both looked back to Anne and Gilbert. Anne picked her head up off her arms and leaned back into Gilbert who had his arm around her shoulders and was laughing.

“I do. I just asked her to be sure and she said she wasn’t dating anyone.”

“So you’re actually interested in a woman who acts like that with someone who is supposedly just a friend? Even more to the point, who knows what they actually get up to in this ‘friendship’ of theirs. You can’t honestly think they can be that close without fucking, do you? And who knows who else she is hooking up with.”

“Look Gardner, I know she’s a good person, and so do you, which makes you an even bigger dick than I thought you were. How can you talk about her like that? Everyone knows they’re close. She said she’s single and I believe her. Whatever their friendship does or does not include is not my business because all I want to do is have dinner with her. If they are sleeping together, good for them, if not, good for them. I don’t fucking care because she is not my girlfriend. Everyone knows that you’ve been trying to get with her for years. Unsuccessfully, I might add. Just because she isn’t interested in you doesn’t mean no one else can try.”

“You’re absolutely right. Anne is a free woman and she may entertain whomever she wants. As can your sister.”

“Leave Jessica alone.”

“Why should I? She’s a free woman.”

“Barely. She just turned eighteen a week ago.”

“Good timing then. I forgot she graduated from high school early.”

“You’re disgusting. What makes you think she would even be interested in you?”

“Please. Have you seen me? I can get whoever I want.”

“I think we both know that’s not true or I wouldn’t be stuck talking to you right now,” Jeff said. “I’ll just warn her about you.”

“Do you really think that matters to her? She actually likes me, we met at a party a couple months ago and I have to say, she’s quite the little flirt. It’s you who has the issue with me.”

“And Anne. Don’t forget that.”

“I’m working on that. And unfortunately, you’re in my way. You say your date is just so you can get to know her better. Is it worth the risk to your sister?”

“Burn in hell, Gardner.”

“I’m not joking around, Jeff. Seducing your sister for a night is hardly a chore, but wouldn’t it be fun if she fell in love with me? I mean, a version of me, anyway, I’m sure I can play the part. Maybe think twice before showing up on Friday. Just an idea; your call entirely.”

***

“So,” Moody said when he got back to the table and they all moved as needed so he could sit between Diana and Ruby again. “What were you two arguing about before?”

“Nothing,” they both responded.

“Anne beat me up today,” Gilbert said, trying to change the subject.

“I did **not** beat you up. You ran into me.”

“ **You** ran into me. Thank you very much, causing my tooth to cut my lip.”

“Cry me a river. It stopped bleeding like halfway here. You are fine.”

“The bourbon hurts it though, not gonna lie.”

“So what do you want me to do? Kiss it and make it better?”

“One of these days I’m going to make you follow through on these offers.”

“I would never **make** you kiss me, Gilbert. I’m not that mean.”

“Pretty sure you should do it, Anne,” Cole said. “I think it would solve a ton of problems.”

“Guarantee you that it would,” agreed Diana. “That’s a fact.”

“We’re not kissing!” Anne and Gilbert yelled together, each stung by the vehemence of the other.

“Hold on, Anne, wait- do you really think kissing you would be some kind of burden?” Gilbert asked.

“Clearly.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Anyway,” Anne continued, “We were playing a fun game in the car on the way over here-”

“No, no, no,” interrupted Gilbert. “Guys, who here wouldn’t kiss Anne, given the opportunity, and of course if you were single, Jerry.”

No one raised their hands.

“Point proven,” Gilbert concluded. “Kissing a girl is hardly ever a burden, and definitely not if **you** are the girl doing the kissing.”

Anne glared at him and said, “Your scientific survey of my attractiveness is convincing as ever, though any physical evidence of this remains to be seen.”

“Aw, snap,” Moody whispered and Ruby giggled next to him. Besides that, the group fell silent except for the suppressed laughter coming from nearly everyone.

Gilbert sat there stunned, wondering if she had just issued him some sort of challenge.

“Look at that, I finally got Gilbert to shut up. You’re welcome, everyone. Anyways,” Anne continued with a fake, cheery smile, “Gilbert and I were talking on the way here-”

“About who wants to do who more?” Josie whispered to Anne.

Anne elbowed her and said, “You guys are all being ridiculous tonight. Gil and I were just trying to decide which Disney princess everyone is.”

“And which princess am I?” asked Charlie.

“Definitely Charlotte La Bouff from _The_ _Princess_ _and the Frog_ , you hyper-dramatic fool,” Anne said without missing a beat and everyone laughed. 

The heat and tension from their previous conversation dissipated as Anne and Gilbert both relaxed into conversation, explaining in detail which Disney lady was designated for each of their female friends and everyone agreed with their reasoning. As always, they were finishing each other’s thoughts and sentences and complimenting each other when they supported their decisions with a point that they hadn’t previously discussed.

“You two really work well together when you aren’t attacking each other,” Moody pointed out.

“Yeah,” Gilbert said quietly. “We do.”

Anne finished her first martini and ordered another as the waitress walked by.

“It’s frightening, actually,” Jane added. “I often have trouble getting my own mind to form as coherent of a case as you two do together.”

“We just spend a lot of time together,” Anne explained the comment away.

“And don’t forget that they are pretty much the same person,” Diana reminded them and then continued quietly, “Which is why we are still dealing with this shit, you stubborn, blind idiots.”

Jerry and Moody nodded and laughed at her comment as Diana finished her drink.

“So now, it’s time to do the guys,” Anne said, not having heard Diana and not at all interested in whatever smart-ass comment she had apparently come up with.

“Excellent. Do me!” said Moody.

“Moody, I actually thought about you in the car and you are 100% Max from _A Goofy Movie_. You try to present this calm and cool version of yourself, and you almost always succeed, but we all know that is a front for some delightful quirkiness and anxiety. And you are incredibly funny and endearing as can be. And you do the dorkiest things but you are still so adorable.”

Moody nodded and said, “That’s not so bad. Um, thank you, and I can see what you mean, but I have a question.”

“Go for it!” Anne said enthusiastically.

“No, not for you. Gilbert?”

“Yeah man?”

“When she compliments you, do you feel like a neglected stuffed animal? Or… maybe a missing sock?” Moody asked and the table exploded with laughter in understanding.

Gilbert laughed harder than he had in a while and said, “Not quite, but I totally get what you mean. The term you’re looking for is ‘crippled puppy.’ You feel like a crippled puppy when Anne compliments you. Don’t worry though, it’s not like she doles out a ton of praise. Not for me anyway, so I don’t need to deal with it too often.”

“Shut up, I do too! I compliment you all the time!”

“To whom?”

“To you!”

“Do you though?”

“I thought I did… Why doesn’t anyone like my compliments?” she complained.

“Because you sound like a queen complimenting a peasant, Anne,” Gilbert explained.

“So, now you’re calling me condescending.”

“No, your compliments are just very thorough, like you’re trying too hard to find the good in something.”

“What is so bad about being thorough?”

“Nothing, but would it be so hard to just simply say, ‘Gilbert, you look good tonight’?”

“Maybe I’d consider it if I didn’t think you’d lord it over me for all time.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true.”

“And begging for compliments? Really Gil? Are you so insecure?”

“No. I’m not. Sometimes I just really can’t tell what you think about me.”

“You’re my best friend, what do you mean you can’t tell what I think about you?”

“I mean there are a lot of times when you are looking at me and thinking about something and I want to know what it is.”

“I feel like we’ve gotten wildly off topic.”

“You are so astute, Anne,” he said, overexaggerating his enthusiasm as he offered her the compliment. “Thank you so much for pointing that out.”

“You’re welcome, Gilbert. And you know what? You really do look good tonight… for a giant nerd.”

“On that blistering qualifying remark, who is next?” Ruby asked.

Anne’s second martini was delivered to the table and she took a large drink.

“Okay, I have Jerry all taken care of. This isn’t just because you are married to Diana, but you sure as hell are Aladdin. You are scrappy as can be, crazy clever and you have got to be the smoothest guy here. Granted, you don’t have much competition-” Josie explained.

“Hey!” Cole, Charlie and Gilbert interrupted.

“Shut it you guys. You can’t deny that Jerry moves like gravity doesn’t really apply to him,” she finished.

“She’s right, Jerry,” Tillie agreed. “It’s like you float.”

“Hooray for skateboarding, I guess. I’ll take Aladdin. If he’s good enough for Jasmine, he’s good enough for me.”

“She’s right,” Moody said. “And the rest of us hardly have any room to argue. In the last week alone, I fell on my ass trying to step over a chair and Charlie broke two bowls and fell in the shower, pulling down the shower curtain and rod and earning him that giant bruise on his head.”

“I’m not clumsy,” Cole argued.

“Usually, no, you aren’t, but tired Cole is klutzier that the rest of us put together. Tell us how you came to have foot sized holes through not one, but four new canvases?”

“I’d rather not get into it,” Cole said quietly as he stifled a laugh and then took a drink.

Gilbert was hoping they wouldn’t get to him, but his prayers went unanswered.

“And Gilbert Blythe,” Moody said slowly with a smile, “Care to share what caused you to fall down an entire flight of stairs three days ago?”

“No,” he said forcefully.

“You fell down the stairs?!” Anne yelled at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Why indeed…” Diana snickered.

“We are **not** talking about this and I didn’t even get hurt. And I never claimed to be as smooth as Aladdin over here, so can we move on?”

“Gil, what happened?” Anne asked, concerned.

“Please drop it,” he said seriously, and she did, but noticed that Jerry and Diana were laughing on the other side of him.

“It was very, very funny, but you shouldn’t have done that to him,” Jerry whispered to Diana.

Diana laughed even louder at the memory as Gilbert glared at her. She and Jerry had been talking a few days ago and Diana was bragging about how easily she could control Gilbert so Jerry bet her a night out that she couldn’t get Gilbert to come over to their house in three minutes or less. Diana won when Gilbert showed up panting thirty-seven seconds after Diana texted him that Anne was trying on swimsuits and wanted his opinion but was too embarrassed to ask. Gilbert wasn’t embarrassed that he fell down the stairs in an effort to see Anne in a bikini. He **was** embarrassed that he believed such a terrible lie.

“Charlie is totally Flynn Ryder!” Tillie said and Gilbert decided to buy Tillie’s next drink as a thank you for changing the subject.

“Because I’m so good looking?” Charlie responded smugly.

“Because you think you are God’s gift to women when you are actually a bumbling fool,” Josie said.

“But he **is** attractive, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jane said, “He’s super hot, don’t worry. And you are both charming and funny. So I think this fits.”

“I accept!” he said proudly.

“I love how you guys think you have a choice to accept this. You’re getting the ones we designate to you and that’s that,” Diana said, laughing. “Stop acting like your opinion has anything to do with it.”

“How about Cole?” Ruby asked.

“Okay, so we have artsy, of course. Blunt, but kind,” said Diana.

Tillie laughed and said, “I’m sorry, but you said paint and all I can picture is that elder who unknowingly paints her face during Mulan’s evaluation.”

“I’m ignoring the artsy thing, sorry,” Anne said. “I just think that limits us too much. And I’m sorry to pick an anthropomorphized animal, but you are totally Nick Wilde from _Zootopia_.”

“How?” Cole asked.

“He is extremely charismatic, sociable, and he’s a smart-ass who is **always** up to something,” Anne said, glaring at him.

“That checks out,” Gilbert said, adding a glare of his own. “And it’s usually nothing good.”

“Please,” scoffed Cole, “It’s always good.”

“Also,” Anne interrupted, “You used to be so cynical, but I’d like to think that there are a few of us who have turned your thinking around a bit.”

“That you have, my friend.”

“And Gilbert…” Diana said.

“I really want someone to be Dimitri,” Jane said. “Can Gil be Dimitri? He is so fucking hot.”

“That’s true, Dimitri is hot, but he wasn’t actually created by Disney,” Anne said. “I’d be willing to ignore it, except that being arrogant and sarcastic isn’t enough for Gil to get Dimitri.”

“But I’m fucking hot too, right?” he asked her with hopeful eyes and a smirk.

“And there is the arrogance, ladies and gentlemen,” she said to the table.

“Dimitri is also very charming,” Diana added. “And he definitely has that, I mean, look at him.”

“I’m with Anne here,” Tillie agreed. “Gilbert is hot, but this doesn’t fit.”

“Agreed,” Josie said. “We need someone kinder, bookish and with unfailing devotion.”

They all thought on it for a minute and then Anne said, “Gilbert is Milo Thatch.”

“What?” Gilbert asked.

“Loyal, smart, dedicated and surprisingly jacked. How is that not you?” she asked, looking at him like he was crazy for not understanding.

“And thanks to Halloween, we all know you can rock a vest,” Diana added. “Am I right, Anne?”

Anne closed her eyes and shook her head, not wanting to get lost in the image of him from that night.

“That’s actually perfect,” Ruby said. “And Gilbert gets so passionate about the weirdest things, just like Milo. Anne does it too though. You guys know what I’m talking about when they just get lost in their own little world? That’s just like Milo.”

“Okay, I have a question,” Gilbert began. “You just handed out Aladdin and Flynn, who are arguably the best-looking Disney guys, and Nick and Max even have a certain amount of swagger to them, and even if you don’t think that, they are at least ‘cool’ you know? But you stick me with the linguist? He’s just the nerdiest guy,” Gilbert complained.

“So are you!” Anne said, laughing. “That’s kind of my point! And you don’t even care that he’s a nerd, you are fully aware and proud of the fact that you are a nerd; you just think he isn’t attractive, you superficial proctalgia fugax and you could not be more wrong.”

“Holy shit,” Gilbert said breathlessly, leaning back. “Did you just call me a pain in the ass using medical terminology?”

She looked back at him and said, “I did. Impressed?”

“Always,” he laughed and he leaned forward to rest his left arm on the table. His right hand went to her lower back and he whispered in her ear, “You should be careful, Carrots. You keep talking to me like that and I’ll have no choice but to engage you in some extremely thorough osculation which will doubtlessly leave you with dyspnea and idiopathic craniofacial erythema.”

“I don’t know what that means,” she quietly admitted.

“I know,” he said with a chuckle. “But it was still so much fun to admit out loud.”

“But you said it as a warning, so we wouldn’t want that…?” she asked, turning to face him and finding him only centimeters away from her.

“Oh, I do, desperately; you have no idea. But I would really require your enthusiastic participation.”

“And you don’t think I would… enthusiastically participate…?”

“I’m not so sure anymore,” he said softly. “I’m starting to think that maybe someday it could be a possibility.”

“Anne and Gilbert!” Tillie said, interrupting them. “I love watching you two together but come on!”

“I’m sorry?” Anne asked.

“I think you were going to explain why Milo is attractive?” Tillie led her.

“Right!” Anne said, sitting up straight. Gilbert’s hand fell from her and he leaned back again. “He is hot, I promise. The world loves a skinny boy with glasses.”

“I don’t know if the world does, but Anne certainly does,” Jane explained. “Though I have to agree with her on this one for sure. That nerdy boy is hella hot.”

“And that chin,” Anne said as she closed her eyes imagining it. “Surely we can all agree that a sharp jawline is attractive?”

The girls all agreed while the guys all did their best to not feel their jaws.

“Animated or not,” Anne continued, “Milo Thatch can get it.”

“I’m sorry, can get what?” Moody asked for clarification.

“Anne into bed, apparently,” laughed Diana.

Anne took another drink and said, “He totally could; I’m not even embarrassed. If any of you claim there isn’t an animated character you’re sexually attracted to, you are lying. Here, Gil, I’ll show you.”

She got her phone out and leaned back into him as she searched for images, his arm was again resting on the back of the booth and he started playing with her hair.

“Okay, so here is the normal Google search, right? You get images from the movie, and honestly, he is plenty attractive as is. But then, search Milo Thatch fanart and you get some much better images, like that one, super dreamy, yeah?”

“Are you really asking me if I think the drawing of a fictional male character is attractive?”

“Yeah, I really am.”

“Fine. You’re right. He is a good enough looking guy. Are we done?”

“Not even close. Then we search ‘Milo Thatch fanart sexy.’”

“Why are we doing this right now? No, forget the ‘right now’ part of that sentence. Why are we doing this? And why do you know about this?”

“Because I’m smart and resourceful. Look at him here,” she said showing him a drawing of Milo essentially posing as a model wearing only underwear and he noticed she bit her bottom lip while looking at the image. “He is so fucking hot.”

Gilbert smiled wide at the revelation. He finally figured it out: _She bites her bottom lip when she is looking at someone she finds attractive._ He suddenly started laughing and couldn’t help but get a lot more confident as he remembered all the times she had looked at him like that and had brushed it off as nothing.

“What?” Anne asked. “Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing,” he said quietly. “This is just not what I thought I would be learning tonight.”

“You really are such a nerd. We are at a bar; did you really think you would be learning anything tonight?”

“No, but I did,” he said with a knowing smile. “And it’s been **very** enlightening, so thank you.”

“Well, now you know, Milo Thatch is hot and apparently he’s just one of those guys where the less he’s wearing the better,” she said and she bit her lip again while she stared at the image.

Gilbert laughed at the confirmation and said, “Somehow I am still surprised at the things that come out of your mouth.”

“I feel like you forget that I’m a woman who is attracted to men.”

“I have never forgotten that you are a woman, Anne. Not for a single second. But you don’t usually talk about the guys you find attractive… or the cartoon characters,” he said to her and then addressed the table, “Whoever all is texting me right now, stop it. I’m not looking at my phone and I’m sick of my leg vibrating.”

“So dreamy,” she said to herself.

“Let me try something,” Gilbert said and took her phone from her, replacing ‘Milo Thatch’ with ‘Ariel’ in the search bar.”

“Here, since you seem to pull off Ariel so well, maybe try this look next time,” he said as he showed her a drawing where the shells of Ariel’s top had shrunk to only cover her nipples and her breasts were bulging out beneath them.

Anne’s breath hitched at the request and she was left speechless.

“Anne doesn’t have the rack for that,” Josie chimed in.

“Josie, are you a part of this conversation now?” Gilbert asked.

“I wasn’t until you started looking at sexy women.”

“Jo is right, I don’t have boob enough for that.”

He continued flipping through the images and nodded approvingly when he finally found one that didn’t scream porn star to him.

“Here. You can definitely pull this one off.”

Anne stared at the image of Ariel facing a window, completely naked as she transformed into a human.

Anne cleared her throat and said, “That’s hot, but I don’t really understand what is happening right now.”

Josie laughed and said, “Of course you don’t, you sweet, sweet girl. Let me see something,” Josie said, taking her phone out and searching ‘Kida and Ariel lovers.’

While Anne’s attention was on Josie, Gilbert took the phone back from Anne and continued flipping through the images, smiling at one that he then set as her lock screen and put her phone back in her purse, hoping he wouldn’t regret it later.

“Wow Anne, look how hot we are. Should we give it a go?” Josie asked as she presented an image of the two characters making out on a beach.

Anne grabbed her martini, leaned back and chugged it. She figured it was the least classy thing she had ever done but was really flustered by the conversation.

Josie leaned across Anne’s lap and whispered to Gilbert, “What do you think? Pretty hot?”

“Very hot, but this Milo would much rather have Ariel for himself.”

Anne choked on her final swallow, having only heard him say ‘Ariel for himself,’ put down her glass and yelled, “What did you say?!”

“Yeah, Gilbert,” Josie laughed, “What did you say?”

“I said that-”

“Gilbert!” Moody interrupted, bringing him into the conversation he was having with Jerry, Diana and Ruby. “I know you’ll agree, love at first sight is a thing right?”

“Sure, it’s a thing,” Gilbert said. “It’s not a thing I believe in, but it’s a thing.”

“What?!” Diana, Jerry, Moody and Cole yelled.

“What…?” Gilbert said in response.

“You of all people have to believe in love at first sight,” Diana said.

“Why is that?” Anne asked.

“Yeah, Diana,” Gilbert challenged her, laughing. “Why would I, of all people, have to believe in love at first sight? Care to explain to everyone?”

Diana sat there with her mouth open in disbelief, half tempted to actually start discussing how hard he fell for Anne.

Gilbert continued, “You’re always quick to point out how single I am. I haven’t even dated anyone since high school, I surely can’t tell you the first thing about being in love.”

He didn’t know why he was saying what he was saying, but the looks of bewilderment he was receiving from everyone at the table except for Anne were really quite amusing and worth the lie.

“What about you, Anne? Do you believe in love at first sight?” he asked.

“Gil, I’m exhausted, do we really need to argue about this as well?

“So that’s a yes?”

“No, it’s an ‘I can’t speak for everyone’s personal experience.’ I believe that what most people perceive as love at first sight is infatuation and I assume that can evolve into love very quickly. But who am I to tell anyone that love at first sight doesn’t exist?”

“You surprise me, Anne,” Gilbert said to her quietly. “With your love of romance, I thought you for sure would believe in love at first sight.”

She looked at him and she thought she could feel her heart clench as she said, “Those are just stories. I’m just as single as you are; what the hell would I know about being in love?”

She kept eye contact with him until she couldn’t take the intensity anymore and then said, “Where’s the waitress? I need another drink.”

“You guys, this has been great, but Jerry and I need to get going. We have a really early flight tomorrow to go skiing with my family,” Diana apologized.

“And I have a hot date,” Cole said. “Sorry, but he asked first.”

“I can’t believe you’re choosing him over us,” Josie joked.

“You’re right. I’ll ditch the man I love on our anniversary and just hang out with you guys. Talking about the hotness of cartoon characters while Gilbert blatantly lies to all of our faces seems like the healthy choice here.”

After Cole, Diana and Jerry left, they had enough room to spread out in the wrap-around booth, but Gilbert noticed that Anne didn’t move. She stayed there, tucked under his arm, appearing completely comfortable with the situation, despite the tension that was between them. Now that there weren’t any couples there, they were the only two who remained touching. As the night went on, Anne and Gilbert remained on edge and quick to enter into an argument. They frequently left the main conversation to speak only with each other and throughout it all, their friends watched them, unsure if they were annoyed or amused.

***

The drive home with Gilbert wasn’t uncomfortable, but they were thoroughly worn out from arguing all night, so it was quiet.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked quietly when they were almost home.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

“You’re quiet. I’m not used to that.”

“I’m thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how annoying it is that you seem to know me better than I do.”

“You know that’s not true,” he said as they pulled in the driveway.

“No, it is. You were right earlier and it’s been bugging me all night. I’m not available. Not even close. And do you know what’s funny? I don’t even want to be. It’s so fucking pathetic,” she said as tears came to her eyes. “It’s so embarrassing.”

“Anne, wait, it’s not pathetic. I actually understand and I’d really like to talk to you about it,” he said as she opened the door to get out of the car.

“I’d rather you not. I’m done feeling like an idiot for the day. Good night, Gil. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She got inside and went straight to her room to undress and get ready for bed. It took her a while, but she finally got her dress untied; it turned out Gilbert actually had done a really good job. She took it off and fell on her bed in just her underwear in exhaustion. She was hot. Hot from the alcohol, hot from the frustration, hot from the unshed tears and hot for Gilbert. It was too much, so she cracked her window and let the December chill wash over her and take it all away. She wasn’t sure how long she was like that, but she eventually woke up shivering. She shut the window, climbed under the covers and went back to sleep.

***

Gilbert stayed in his car for ten minutes rethinking everything he had said to her that night, thinking some things were too much and others were not enough. He was the first one home and was grateful he didn’t need to face any of his friends at the moment after failing yet again, and this time so spectacularly. When Gilbert got into bed that night, he finally looked at and responded to his text messages.

**The Landlord – Mobile**

_8:30 PM  
This is getting obscene. You both look ready  
to tear each other apart.  
In a hot sexy way.  
Not in a murdery way._

_11:57 PM  
Are you sure?  
It sure as hell feels like she’s about to murder  
me some days._

_Then stop provoking her._

_Oh Cole, you know I can’t do that._

_Because that’s the most ‘passionate’ you get  
to see her?  
Face flushed, pupils dilated, breathing heavily…_

_Stop.  
Now._

_Oh Gilbert, you know I can’t do that._

**The Rev – Mobile**

_8:31 PM  
I don’t think I can go out with you two  
anymore. This is getting really uncomfortable.  
For the sake of us all, will you just tell her  
you’re in love with her already?  
I totally thought you were going to kiss her  
after she said she wouldn’t make you kiss  
her.  
Seems like a missed opportunity…_

_11:59 PM  
Every day we spend together feels like a  
missed opportunity._

_That’s because it is…_

_I’m getting closer. I swear._

**Mr. Diana Barry – Mobile**

_8:31 PM  
Dude.  
This is painful to watch.  
And really hot, honestly.  
But kind of really painful._

_12:00 AM  
I promise it’s more painful for me._

**Charmander – Mobile**

_8:34 PM  
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
You two are so fucking hot for each other I  
can feel it from over here.  
ASK  
HER  
OUT  
ALREADY  
Fuck it.  
No words. Just start kissing her and then  
let me know how the sex is.  
Tell me honestly, how hard do you get from  
arguing with her?_

_12:02 AM  
Fuck you._

_That bad, eh?_

**Princess Di – Mobile**

_9:45 PM  
I’d like to thank you for providing all the  
foreplay we needed to get to bed early  
tonight._

_12:04 AM  
No words._

***

Early in the morning Anne woke, presumably at the sound of Diana and Jerry leaving for their vacation. She reached for her phone and saw that someone, theoretically Gilbert, had switched her lock screen to a fanart drawing of Ariel and Eric swimming under water and about to kiss. Her groggy brain couldn’t think of a reason why he would do this besides it simply being a stunning image, but after last night, she automatically thought of herself as Ariel and couldn’t help but picture Gilbert as the dark-haired character in the drawing. She closed her eyes, thinking about the possibility and drifted back to sleep.

The next time she woke up it was nearly ten in the morning. She checked her phone again and saw that she had quite a few messages from the night before. All of which she read and left unanswered.

**Josie – Mobile**

_8:45 PM  
Somehow you really aren’t getting this. He  
showed you those images and ‘jokingly’  
suggested you try them because he wants  
you to dress like that.  
For him.  
Because he wants you.  
To be with him.  
Exclusively.  
Forever.  
And Ever.  
How are you still not getting this?  
What sort of fucked up explanation are you  
going to give me this time?  
To be clear: there is no doubt in my mind that  
he is completely in love with you.  
Please just tell him how you feel._

**Ruby – Mobile**

_10:30 PM  
Don’t be mad.  
But I think more than anything it seems like  
you two are playing a game of chicken,  
seeing who will break first.  
Would it be so bad if you lost this one time?  
Because wouldn’t losing mean you won?  
Don’t you see how he looks at you?_

**Tillie – Mobile**

_12:30 AM  
I just want to let you know that I have  
given up romance novels.  
Until I can find one where the spark between  
the lovers is half of what you and Gilbert give  
off, they just aren’t worth my time anymore.  
In case I wasn’t clear:  
YOU AND GILBERT HAVE RUINED ROMANCE  
NOVELS FOR ME.  
I hope you’re proud of your ‘friendship.’  
What a fucking joke._

**Jane – Mobile**

_12:57 AM  
Charlie finally asked me out.  
So that was super exciting.  
Yet the most fascinating part of the evening  
remains you and Gilbert fucking each other  
with your words while the rest of us watched.  
Just think about that for a while.  
No. Fuck that. STOP THINKING AND ACT._

**Diana – Mobile**

_4:37 AM  
So…  
Last night was interesting…  
In other news, watching you and Gilbert got  
us so turned on that we only made it to the  
dining room table.  
Sorry.  
Not sorry.  
It was awesome.  
I cleaned the table and disinfected it.  
Really, really well._

***

The week passed quickly. Anne had a couple tests to study for and take and the quiet house gave her the space she needed to find some clarity as well.

Gilbert had said he understood; did he really? She wasn’t sure how he possibly could, but he hadn’t dated anyone since high school. If he were lying, she couldn’t understand why, but if he were telling the truth, her heart was breaking. Now she wasn’t only in love with someone, but in love with someone who wasn’t available.

Her semester had been terrible, truly, and she had used that to provide her with excuse after excuse as to why it was never the right time for her to say anything to him, but that wasn’t really an option anymore and she knew it was a pathetic excuse to begin with. Him admitting plainly that he wasn’t available was a pretty decent reason for her to keep her mouth shut from now on though.

They weren’t doing well this week. Ever since Friday, they could barely say more than a couple words to each other without getting into some asinine argument. She nearly punched him the other day when they were arguing about creamy versus crunchy peanut butter. Fifteen minutes of yelling back and forth wouldn’t have been so bad, except that they were both arguing for creamy peanut butter and against crunchy, but somehow each thought the other was doing it wrong.

They went out and had tea together in silence on Thursday night, neither of them willing to give up the company of the other, but not trusting themselves to communicate in a civilized manner in public. As they were sitting there, Anne reading a book and Gilbert studying for his last final, they overheard a couple at the next table talking about children.

The woman was providing a seemingly endless list of why adding kids to their life right now was a bad idea. Gilbert eventually got the feeling that the woman was trying to convince herself more than anyone else. She clearly wanted kids quite badly, but it seemed she was trying to talk herself out of it, almost like she didn’t think she deserved it. Her husband listened to her, stroking the top of her hand with his thumb as he held it across the table.

When she finished talking, he looked at her and calmly said, “Ginny, you want a big family. **We** want a big family. And we can’t do it on our own. If we wait until everything is ready, we will be waiting forever. I don’t think that it will ever be the ‘right’ time. I don’t think there is a ‘right’ time. Money might be tight, and we will be exhausted, but I love you. And we will love these children. And that’s all that they need. They don’t need perfection; they need a home. Look at me, Gin… we are so, so ready for this. We can give these kids a home; we can give them love; and we can keep them together. Susanne told us how unlikely it would be for these five kids to stay together. We are literally their only hope, and honestly, I think they are ours too.”

Anne and Gilbert figured it out simultaneously that they weren’t talking about getting pregnant, but about adopting five children; orphaned siblings that had no where else to go where they would be able to stay together.

Gilbert looked across the table at her, his eyes wide in panic, unsure what her reaction would be and was not surprised when she put her head down on her arms and started crying. The sudden outburst brought the attention of the couple to their table.

“Sorry,” Gilbert apologized. “We couldn’t help but overhear.”

“Is she okay?” Ginny asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine,” he said as he stood up and went to sit next to Anne and rubbed circles on her back. “Sorry, really. We don’t usually just barge into other people’s private moments. We… we’re both orphans actually, so your conversation caught our attention. She… her parents died when she was only three months old and she was in foster care for thirteen years, and it was… it wasn’t a good experience. It took her so long to find a loving home. To think that you are even considering such a generous act of selflessness and love for those kids, an act that could save them from the pain and misery she endured; it’s a little overwhelming.”

“I’m so sorry to interrupt your day,” Anne apologized through her sobbing and Gilbert and the couple laughed softly at her politeness despite her grief.

“Please don’t apologize. You’ve offered me the peace of mind I couldn’t find before,” Ginny said, then looked at her husband and continued, “I think it’s the right time after all.”

“Yeah?” he looked at her hopefully.

“Yeah,” she said as she, too, started crying. “Let’s go get our kids.”

The couple stood together, kissed and hugged, thanked Anne and Gilbert for interrupting their day and went on their way.

“Anne,” he whispered, “They’re gone.”

She sat up and threw herself on him, desperate for a hug; needing to feel loved and comforted and a reminder that she had a home. Gilbert was easily able to provide that for her and hugged her tightly in response, grateful not only to be so close to her, but for acknowledgement of the deep connection they shared. Not a word was spoken between them as he hugged her back as tightly as he could, desperate to show her how much he cared for her and how much he supported her.

As they hugged, the phrase _If we wait until everything is ready, we will be waiting forever_ kept echoing in Anne’s mind. She had made a promise that she would tell Gilbert how she felt before graduation and she was going to hold true to that, even if he claimed he was unavailable. There wasn’t going to be a perfect time for this to happen; it just had to happen.

They remained hugging until she had calmed down enough to leave and walked home in silence. Gilbert didn’t ask to come over, but they went straight to Anne’s place and she put on her pajamas while he made her some hot chocolate. Anne came out to the couch with a box of tissues, Gilbert got her favorite blanket for her and put _Shrek_ on the television.

He sat down on the opposite side of the couch to give her space since they really hadn’t exchanged more than a few sentences with each other in the last week in a friendly manner. Regardless, she moved over and cuddled into him and he wrapped his arm around her.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Is there anything I can do?”

“You’re already doing it,” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

About halfway through the movie, he could tell that she was drifting off to sleep, and he knew he wasn’t going to be too far behind her.

“Is it okay if I stay here?” he asked her quietly.

She nodded her head into his shoulder and he couldn’t tell if she was awake or answering in her sleep, but he replied, “Thanks.”

He pulled her closer to him, rested his head on hers and closed his eyes.

A minute later Gilbert startled awake when Anne said, “Don’t leave me; I love you.”

“Anne?” he asked anxiously. “Anne, did you say something?”

She didn’t respond and her languid breathing continued.

Gilbert closed his eyes and went back to sleep, convinced that it had been a dream. After all, it wasn’t the first time he dreamed of her telling him she loved him.

***

After coming to the conclusion that she was using Jeff to make Gilbert jealous, Anne wasn’t exactly excited about her date. Jeff was a good guy, and he had said there was no pressure, but still, she knew she would have to clarify that she wasn’t available for anything but friendship.

She arrived five minutes early and opened the book she brought with her. Before she knew it, a half hour had gone by and she figured he wasn’t going to show up. This gave her a strange mixture of anger and relief. She checked her phone and saw a voicemail.

“Anne, hi, it’s Jeff. I’m so sorry for the late notice but I won’t be able to make it tonight. I hope you have a great winter break though and I’ll see you next semester. My apologies again, really. I hope that you can forgive me.”

 _Alright, well that’s not that bad,_ she thought. She looked at the time stamp and saw that he called about fifteen minutes ago. _A little late with the apology, but whatever, at least I get to avoid an awkward conversation._

She was just about to leave when Roy slid into the seat across from her.

“Anne Cuthbert.”

“Roy Gardner.”

“May I ask how it is you come to be alone on this beautiful Friday evening?”

“You may ask whatever you’d like but I was not aware that being alone on a Friday night is a problem. You can see that I have a book to read, I enjoyed a drink and I must admit the solitude was rather satisfying after a really long and pretty crappy week.”

“May I join you and offer you another drink?”

“No, thank you,” she said. “I still have to pack so I can head back home tomorrow.”

“Didn’t I hear that you were supposed to be meeting a date here tonight?”

“Just a friend, not a date, and he was unable to make it.”

“Sounds like a jerk,” he said. “I’m sorry to hear that. Either way, you planned to stay out for a while tonight. Why not stay out with me?”

“I don’t owe you any sort of explanation or excuse, Roy. I’m not going to stay and have a drink with you. I’m going home to pack so I can see my family tomorrow.”

“And will you be seeing Blythe?”

She groaned in exhaustion over the topic and said, “He’ll be driving me home tomorrow, so yeah, there’s a slight chance I might run into him. Why is it that every time I reject you, you bring him up?”

“He follows you around like a puppy, Anne. Either give him what he’s waiting for or cut him loose. Though I figure it’s possible he’s already getting what he really wants from you or why else would he still be hanging around? No one has that kind of patience. Let me guess, fuck buddies? He was able to find a way to get you into bed without you forcing a commitment from him?”

“What if we were fuck buddies? What if I told you that every Friday night instead of studying we are screwing each other senseless? What would that information do for you? Why do you want so badly to be right about this? Do you get off picturing me with him?”

“I get off on being right and winning.”

“Wow you’re an ass,” she said in exasperation. “Look, Gardner, if you’re so jealous, I can just tell Gilbert that you’re interested.”

“What now?” he said, a look of shock suddenly appearing on his face.

“That has to be the only explanation. You treat me like shit so it has to be Gilbert that you’re interested in, right? I’ll let him know. I don’t think that he typically goes for guys, but he **is** pretty open-minded, so you might get lucky.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You think I’m gay?” he asked angrily.

“No. I don’t. But I do think you’re an asshole who would be outraged by the insinuation, and look at that, I was right. I tried to be polite, but that didn’t work so let me be clear: I don’t want to stay here with you because **I do not like you**. I don’t like you as a person, I don’t see you as a potential friend and I can’t even fathom a world where I would ever contemplate dating you. Do not talk to me again. Do not try to ask me out again and do not for a second act like we are friends. Oh, before I forget, did you get into med school?”

“Yeah, of course I did.”

“Where are you going? I really don’t want to be anywhere near you next year.”

“Waterloo.”

Anne bobbed her head along to the song that instantly popped into her head and tried not to laugh. Getting into medical school was impressive, regardless of where you went. It took hard work and dedication that had to be admired, but she had done her fair share of research on medical schools with Gilbert and she didn’t even know there was a medical school in Waterloo. Hell, she barely knew where Waterloo was.

“Congratulations, I think,” she said flatly. “I hope you enjoy… Ontario?”

“Yes. Ontario. Blythe isn’t doing all that much better you know, what is McGill? Number four? It’s no Toronto.”

“That was kind of the point, we didn’t want to move to Toronto, we want to stay closer to home. You know that Gilbert is the top of your class; it’s all about competition in pre-med and that list is posted everywhere. I know he doesn’t brag about it, but I sure as hell will. He got into **all** the med schools he applied to; the top eight in the country. Not only that, but they actually fought over him a bit, did you know that? He **chose** McGill. Toronto actually asked him to reconsider and even dropped their tuition for him and he still chose McGill. Gilbert is very intelligent, well-liked, has an immaculate reputation for treating everyone around him well and had glowing letters of recommendation from the entire faculty here and the internship supervisor at the hospital. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, have you seen how hot he is? Yes, Gilbert Blythe is **very** desirable.”

She knew that was a cheap shot, but she didn’t care.

“‘We’? Did you say you’re moving with him?”

“Yes, Gilbert and I are moving to Montreal, together. We aren’t all trust fund babies, Roy; we orphans have to support each other. And we may not be fucking yet, but since we’ll be living together it’s probably inevitable, don’t you think?”

That was a lie, but she couldn’t help herself.

“I’m not giving up, Anne. I’ll win you over yet.”

“You are insane. There is nothing you can say to me to get me to date you.”

“I could go after Blythe.”

“You’re so stupid! It is unbelievable! Correction: There is nothing you can say **or do** that will get me to go out with you. And why would you want to date me when I clearly despise you so much? You’re threatening violence toward my friend to blackmail me into dating you? In what world does that make sense?! Gilbert’s a nice guy, Roy. He probably wouldn’t even fight back, but do you know what? I sure as hell am **not** a nice girl. If you come near me or Gilbert again, I promise you will regret it.”

“How do you think he’ll respond to you threatening me with violence? Shouldn’t he be the one defending your honor?”

“You. Do. Not. Get. It. **He is not my keeper.** I am responsible for myself and the fact that you fail to acknowledge that or respect it is just one thing on the exponentially growing list of reasons why I will never be with you. Heed my words, Roy, and watch yourself.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Are you admitting you’re threatened by a tiny woman? Are you starting to get it?” she asked as he sat there, confusion plain on his face. “Yeah I thought not. Just stay the hell away from me.”

Anne got up and made her way to leave and was stopped by a waitress who asked, “Are you okay miss?”

“Um, yeah. Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.”

“There is a security guard by the door if you would like an escort to your car.”

Anne blinked hard, not believing her innocuous date had come to this.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I really appreciate that. Thanks for paying attention.”

“Anytime. There were a few of us watching, he didn’t have a chance of laying a hand on you.”

She was escorted to her car, got in, locked the doors and took a couple very deep breaths before making her way home.

***

She parked Gilbert’s car in the driveway, took a few more deep breaths and thought about all the great guys in her life who treated her well and loved and respected her and she started to feel a bit better. But when she looked at her empty house she decided she was not at all ready to spend the night alone. The lights at the guys’ house were on. As far as she knew, Moody and Gilbert would be home tonight. Everyone else had already left for the break. At the very least, she knew she could rely on them to cheer her up and she definitely needed cheering up.

She knocked, let herself in like usual, and a wave of heat hit her like she had never felt before. And for once, it wasn’t a physiological effect from looking at Gilbert.

“Holy hell! Why the fuck is it so hot in here?!” she yelled into the house to announce her presence in case no one heard her knock.

“Fuck. Anne?” she heard Gilbert say.

“Yeah. Fuck Anne!” she said and then laughed at her accidental, though honest, encouragement.

She heard laughter as she took off her shoes and coat by the door then made her way into the living room.

“What is going on in here? It is really fucking… oh my… you’re hot… it’s… hot...” she corrected herself, shaking her head hoping to clarify her thoughts, “I mean in here. I mean… it’s really hot… in here… in your house.”

She had stopped suddenly at the sight of Gilbert, standing there slightly glistening from the heat, wearing only his underwear. Her eyes went wide in surprise and she tried not to check him out, but she failed. She bit her lip and looked him up and down as he had done to her on countless occasions and enjoyed every second of it. There was very little left to her imagination and it was all much better than she had imagined.

“What…” she began breathlessly, trying to remember where she was, what she was doing and how to speak, “What is going on? What are you doing? And why aren’t you dressed?”

It took a lot to rattle Gilbert, but apparently being caught in his underwear by the woman he was in love with was the breaking point.

“Ah… um… the heat broke. Or I guess… no it didn’t. Obviously the heat is working fine,” he began, laughing nervously. “You can feel that. Obviously. Um, the thermostat broke? No, sorry, it’s not a question. The thermostat broke. Period. Not question mark. And um the furnace is… it’s just pumping… I mean, running full power, all the time. Or since last night, I guess, probably around 2 AM. So I guess technically this morning, not last night. We were playing a game and there was an accident. Technically Moody is to blame. He was the one that threw the beer. Cole is going to fix it by the way. Moody threw the beer at the thermostat, that is. That’s’ what broke it. Cole… he called someone. He has someone coming to look at it, but it’s um… I don’t think… I mean… it’s going to be a couple hours till the on-call guy can get here, so we are just doing what we can to make it tolerable.”

Anne had never seen Gilbert so unsure of himself and asked, “You can barely form a sentence. Are you drunk?”

“That’s less embarrassing,” he mumbled to himself. “Yes. Very. Super drunk.” It wasn’t untrue. He knew Anne was going on a date tonight. And it wasn’t with him. So of course, he had been drinking.

“Usually you are strangely articulate when drunk…”

“Yeah, well, usually I’m wearing pants,” he answered honestly.

“So… you’re just sitting here, drinking… in the heat… and sweating… in your underwear?”

“Um, and playing video games, yeah. And I ate some pizza.”

“So this was your whole plan this evening? Roasting, eating and drinking alone in a sauna?”

“I’m not alone… Moody is here…” he said and pointed to the couch at Moody, who was also in his underwear and who had apparently been sitting there the entire time.

“Moody? Oh! Moody!” she said, completely surprised to see him sitting on the couch, suddenly feeling just as exposed as Gilbert was. “Ah, hi Moody… how… how are you? I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.”

“Yes, I picked up on that actually. Hi Annie,” Moody said, laughing. “I’m pretty good. Amused. How are you? Enjoying the view?”

“Yes. I mean fine. I’m fine.”

“How was your, um, date?” Gilbert asked, struggling to get the question out without sounding as jealous as he felt. “I’m surprised you’re back so early.”

“It wasn’t a date. I told you that. And it wasn’t… I mean it didn’t… it didn’t happen. Jeff didn’t show up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry?” Gilbert asked.

“Are you?” she challenged him. “You don’t sound sorry.”

“I, um, I don’t know I guess. I think I could be if you were sad, but you don’t seem very upset about it.”

“I’m not sad. I mean I was frustrated for a minute but he eventually called and apologized. And I’m not interested in dating him, so I probably shouldn’t have agreed in the first place. So I had a drink and read my book and then Roy-”

“Roy?” Gilbert said, instantly enraged. “What the fuck did Roy do?”

“Calm down, Gilbert. It’s nothing I couldn’t handle. It’s fine. I mean, it’s not. But I took care of it.”

“God, I hate that guy.”

“Me too,” she said with a soft laugh. “Why is that the only thing we’ve agreed on in the last week?”

“We agreed about the peanut butter.”

“Very loudly. And we still found a way to turn it into an argument.”

“Because you’ve been yelling at me about everything.”

“Yeah… I have… I’m-”

“You don’t need to apologize. I get it. And I’ve been doing the same thing.”

She nodded and said, “You guys, um… you guys can’t stay here. Why don’t you get dressed and come stay at my place for the night?”

“Are you sure clothes are required, Anne?” Moody teased as Anne turned around and left.

Gilbert gave him a glare that could have killed.

Anne pretended she didn’t hear and said, “I’m going to shower quick. Come over whenever, but I’ll probably be ten to fifteen minutes.”

Moody and Gilbert didn’t speak until Anne had left the house.

“So,” Moody began, “I’m pretty sure she liked what she saw.”

“I think she was mostly just surprised, Moody,” he said, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling because he saw her bite her lip while she was looking at him.

“No. She was surprised to see me. After a full five minutes of staring at you. I think the only thing that surprised Anne regarding you was that she was able to stay standing.”

“You’re seeing things.”

“What I saw was Anne, speechless. Tell me Gilbert, how often does Anne have trouble speaking?”

Gilbert didn’t answer as they both went upstairs to get dressed.

“Fuck! It is so fucking hot up here!” Gilbert complained, changing the subject.

“I don’t need to go over there, you know, I could come up with some excuse,” Moody offered.

“Like what? Most people have headed home for break, it’s freezing outside, she knows you can’t comfortably stay here and you don’t like going out to bars alone.”

“Already ran through all the options?”

“Extensively. Looks like we’re both going over there.”

“Sorry,” Moody apologized.

“Don’t be. I’m just glad it’s you and not Cole or Charlie.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You might tease me for this, but they are fucking brutal and I wouldn’t survive the night.”

“This is going to be crazy awkward, isn’t it?” Moody asked.

“I really hope not, but yeah, apparently that’s the vibe we’re giving off recently, so prepare yourself. I promise I’ll try to be normal.”

“Then I’m out. The ‘normal’ you guys have? Not at all normal.”

“Fine. I’ll be cool. Okay? I really… I really think I can be.”

Moody laughed and said, “Okay, let’s just see what happens then.”

***

Anne had never gone from that angry to that, for lack of a better word, happy, so quickly. She took her time in the shower, letting the hot water wash away every memory of her brief encounter with Roy and then let the image of Gilbert nearly naked take over her and flood her mind.

When she got out of the shower, Moody and Gilbert were sitting, fully clothed, on her couch.

“I was just wondering, how is the furnace guy going to get into your house if you are both over here?”

“We texted and told him the back door is open.”

“Okay. Do you guys want some puppy chow?” she offered.

“Hell yes,” Gilbert responded.

“That sounds great, Anne. Thank you,” said Moody.

“Okay, just give me a few minutes,” she said and went into the kitchen.

She had just finished melting the chocolate chips and peanut butter when Gilbert joined her.

“Sorry. I’m a little slow tonight. Do you need any help?”

“No. Thanks though,” she said and then continued, “Oh! Actually, yes. Can you hold the bag open while I pour this in?”

“Yep,” he said, still trying to figure out how to act normally.

He held the bag of cereal for her as she poured in the mixture.

“Close that and mix it around, please.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Lick this stuff clean, duh.”

He laughed and said, “I see. Favorite part?”

She smiled back at him and said, “You know it.”

He mixed the cereal, chocolate and peanut butter and made the mistake of looking at Anne as she was licking chocolate off the spoon.

“What?” she asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” he asked.

“You look confused.”

“I am confused,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I don’t know… I just said I was confused.”

“You’re acting weird.”

“I am well aware. Thank you.”

He continued mixing the ingredients together as he watched her lick up the chocolate that had dribbled down the side of the liquid measuring cup she had meted the ingredients in. Suddenly the smell became overwhelming and came with a side effect that he wasn’t at all used to from smelling chocolate and observing his best friend lick a spoon.

“I forgot my charger, I’ll be back in a minute,” he said quickly as he threw the bag on the table and ran out of the room.

“Gil? We have the same phone! You can use mine; you do all the time!” she called after him.

“Fine! Bathroom then!”

 _What the actual fuck just happened?_ she asked herself as she stared at the spoon and measuring cup.

***

Moody watched Gilbert jog to the bathroom.

“Don’t even ask,” Gilbert warned as Moody witnessed the situation and started laughing. “I have no idea what’s happening.”

“Do we need to have a talk?” Moody asked through his laughter. “You should really know what’s happening by now, Gilbert.”

“Fuck you!” Gilbert yelled as he slammed the door and dropped to the floor in embarrassment.

***

They watched a couple movies and played some board games until they were all tired.

When Moody fell asleep, Anne whispered, “Gil? I feel I should apologize for barging into your house earlier.”

“So are you going to? Or do you just feel like you should.”

“I just feel like I should,” she answered with a laugh.

“I remember telling you that you didn’t need to wait to be let in, Anne. It’s fine.”

“So we’re good?”

“We’re always good. Plus, you know what they say, tit for tat. Retribution was long overdue.”

“I don’t know what you consider a tat, Gil, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t see it.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve actually seen your tits, so I think we’re even.”

“You’ve seen plenty!”

“That’s debatable,” he said as he casually laid down on the couch and made himself comfortable.

She laughed, playfully hit his leg and got up to go to her room.

She was almost to her door when she heard Gilbert say, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go as planned. Really.”

“I’m not. At all,” she answered honestly and then added. “I actually had already forgotten about it. Good night, Gil.”

“Goodnight, Carrots.”

She spent the next hour packing and cleaning up the house before heading home for the long holiday.

On her fifth time walking through the living room, she was startled when Gilbert asked, “Why aren’t you sleeping?” in the low, sleepy voice that gave her chills.

“I’m cleaning and packing,” she explained. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Because you are very loud for such a tiny person.”

“You’re just too sensitive to noise.”

“That’s not really the problem,” he responded. He had originally thought he was sensitive to noise as well since he had always been a light sleeper. But really, it turned out that he was much more sensitive to her presence than he was to noise.

“Do you want to talk about what happened? With Roy I mean?”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know how to help you here, but you know you have me if you need me, right?”

“Yeah, I actually already used you. Sorry.”

“How so?” he asked as he sat up and she went to sit down next to him on the couch.

“Um, I sort of insinuated that we are fuck buddies.”

“Ha! Look at you not caring what people think.”

“Pretty sure there are women waiting in line to be your fuck buddy, it’s hardly a bad rumor. And Gardner isn’t people. I can’t even tell if he thinks it’s true and doesn’t care or actually finally believed that it wasn’t true when I told him that it was.”

“He’s so stupid,” Gilbert said in disbelief.

“I also told him that since he treats me like shit, it must be you that he’s interested in. He **always** inserts you into our conversation as soon as I reject him. I said I’d let you know. So, you know, if you’re interested in a misogynistic, vulgar and sadistic man with the body of a puffer fish, he’s yours for the taking.”

“Well, you do know my type,” he said sarcastically and then asked, “A puffer fish?”

“Yeah, he, like, puffs himself up around me; I fucking hate it. Like he thinks men need to be so much bigger than women to be impressive. And like I need a reminder that I’m small.”

“I’m thinking he didn’t take the whole gay thing well. He’s never hidden his homophobic thoughts before.”

“You’re not wrong. He didn’t like that we’re moving to Montreal together either. Did you know there is a medical school in Waterloo, Ontario?”

“I didn’t even know there was a Waterloo in Ontario,” he confessed. “All I know is the song by ABBA.”

“Right?! I almost burst out singing when he mentioned it,” Anne laughed. “I was hardly able to stop myself. Oh, and sorry, I lied and told him we would be living together, just act cool if he brings it up.”

“It doesn’t have to be a lie,” he said quietly before he could think it through.

“What?” she gasped in surprise.

“What? We’re both moving there anyway. Jerry and Diana will be moving down there too, but after last week you said you we’re done living with them.”

“They fucked on my table, Gil,” she said angrily. “I don’t care how much she cleaned it; I can’t eat dinner there without picturing it.”

“I’m not criticizing your reasoning, Anne, I’m just saying that you said you don’t want to live with them anymore. And Tillie is only going to be there training for a year before she goes abroad. You’ll need something more permanent than that. As far as I know that’s the list of people we know moving to Montreal. Why not live with me? Plus, you wouldn’t need to pay rent.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re going to pay for my tuition if I go to grad school… and my housing… are you insane?”

He reflected for a moment on how long and how deeply he loved her and said, “Yeah, I probably am.”

“Alright, at least we agree there.”

“So why not use it to your benefit? If you really want to live alone, I get that, but wouldn’t it be better to live with me than a stranger? I know I’m annoying sometimes, but at least you know what to expect.”

“I don’t want to live alone. I told you, thirteen years was enough.”

“Then live with me.”

“I’ll need to pay rent, Gil, and cook and clean. I can’t just have you giving me stuff all the time.”

“Fine. Your rent is five dollars. You can cook all the time; I have no issue with that at all because you are amazing at it and I probably won’t remember to cook or eat if you aren’t there to help me remember. And clean all you want, but it’s not like I’m especially dirty, or even messy most the time.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah. But Gil, I need to talk to you about something,” she said as she stood up.

“Yeah?”

“We can’t keep fighting like we have been. It’s exhausting and not at all sustainable.”

“Agreed,” he said, laying back down. “We’ll just have to find something else to do to fill the void.”

********Back to the Bonfire********

“Fill the void, Gilbert?” Cole asked. “Really?”

Gilbert laughed and said, “I didn’t even mean like that, that was truly no pun intended. Though I was pretty damn proud of my brain for that one.”

“You agreed to live together before Christmas?” Diana asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It never came up,” Anne answered. “By the time it did, we were engaged so it was a non-issue.”

“So, if I wasn’t there, was there a chance you would have gotten together that night?” Moody asked.

“Seems unlikely,” Gilbert said.

“Agreed. Not on my end anyway. The day had been eventful enough. I was spent.”

“I was exhausted as well and even if I had the courage to bring it up, I didn’t want the night we got together to be the night she tried to go on a date with someone else.”

“So now we get to hear about the night you actually did get together, right?!” Ruby asked excitedly.

“Nope. Not yet,” Anne said. “We need to go over Gil’s confession of love, pain-killer style.”

“We’re going to refer to it as that and not the night I actually had the courage to ask you out?”

“What?!” Anne asked. “You didn’t ask me out.”

“I really did. You clearly didn’t see it that way, but I did.”

“I think I would have noticed if you asked me out, Gilbert.”

“That is a lie because you didn’t. Anyways, it’s not like it mattered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter until Something Just Like This.
> 
> I want to thank ALL of you who have commented on this story. It really, really means a lot to me to hear what you have to say and it really helps make the story better. 
> 
> Also- thank you for reading this- I’m not sure if you pay attention to the word count on this thing at all, but it's freaking massive. I appreciate your dedication to the stories and these characters!


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